When life hands you lemons,resell them for profit

[three--rings]

There’s always a lingering question that I ask myself, which is why do I, a cis bisexual woman, enjoy romance between two men so much?  

There are easy answers, like that it’s just fetishizing.  And like, I find men attractive, yes.  But I also find women attractive.  I don’t have a problem with enjoying het romance, assuming I can find good ones.  I enjoy stories with female characters I can relate to.

But there’s something much deeper at play, IMO.  A friend of mine who is a gender studies professor was the first person to point this out to me, but a lot of women enjoy m/m romance and gay porn because of the lack of women.  It removes a source of pressure and sexism.  Without any women present, you don’t have to constantly evaluate the sexism of their portrayal, or be reminded of negative experiences in your own life.  It allows women to experience romance and especially sexuality without all the baggage that comes with it in our patriarchal society.

This was recently illustrated to me rather dramatically.  I read a recommendation for a het romance.  And it sounded cute, and came highly recommended.  The tropes at play were fun.  Until I read a snippet and realized this was a romance between a woman and her boss.  I had a visceral negative reaction.  

Instantly I’m thinking of sexual harassment stories I’ve read and heard from other women. I’m thinking of how uncomfortable it would be to have your boss develop feelings for you.  How icky the power dynamics would be, etc.  

And then I realized…this wouldn’t bother me if it were two men.  Now, there’s no logical reason for that.  Sexual harassment is just as wrong when its object is a man.  But I know I’ve read fics with a similar premise and never thought about it.  Because when it’s two men I can accept this is just a light romance, a fantasy, meant to be fun and sexy and not to represent the real world.

But I can’t when it’s a het relationship.  There’s too much baggage there.  Too much societal history of abuse.  I can’t relax enough with the premise to enjoy that story.  

Now some people can.  And that’s fine.  And some people are never going to be okay with power imbalances like that regardless of gender.  That’s also fine.  I don’t think having either reaction makes one morally superior.  It’s okay to just enjoy light entertainment for what it is without going into deep analysis.

But it’s much more difficult for me, and I think for many women, to relax and enjoy romantic and sexual stories when they involve female characters.  We’ve been burned too many times by shitty depictions, by shallow role models, by abuse portrayed as romantic.  We have developed a stress response, a trauma response to heterosexual romance.  We are hyper-reactive to a wide variety of triggers in regards to it.   But removing women from the equation makes stories safer for us.  And maybe it shouldn’t?  In an ideal world?  But for many of us, that’s the truth.

[three--rings]

So this post blew up in the last 24 hours, for whatever reason, and I was looking through people’s responses, as you do.  I’m quite moved that so many found it relatable.

But I wanted to highlight one set of tags (via @reallifepotato​ )

Because I AM comfortable with my sexuality and fairly comfortable with my body, but still, this resonates so hard as someone who has always been overweight.  The amount that our society teaches women to constantly compare ourselves, almost always negatively with every other woman out there, can utterly ruin our enjoyment of this kind of thing.  Like how many times have you tried to watch a mainstream romantic comedy where some utterly gorgeous actress is bemoaning that she can’t get a date, or WORSE is made out to be less than attractive.  And you look at her and go…but she’s fucking perfect?  And you just want to puke.  

But with m/m romance you can put yourself in the place of either character and…not compare yourself.  You can enjoy a character being attractive without feeling bad about yourself, which is REALLY HARD to do for any woman in our fucked up culture.  

[moki-dokie]

oh my god someone put it into words!!!!!

[flippyspoon]

there are soooo many nuances and reasons that many of us aren’t even conscious of which makes me doubly angry when it’s dismissed as fetishizing.  fuck off and let me read my love stories pls.

[chocolatecakeandbl]

PhayuRain Dynamics

Short dive into PhayuRain bc we talked about it in the LITA Discord Server a while ago, and I decided to screw my thought about NotWritingMetasBcI'mBadAtIt, cleaned it up and here we go:

Alriiiight, Let's start on the topic, shall we? From the little clues we get from the show (I rewatched PhayuRain's part about 4 times just to make sure) PhayuRain engage in a 24/7 D/s relationship. It's a super rare thing, bc the compatibility is rarely ever given in real life, but IF two find each other (like Phayu and Rain) it's one of the most wonderful experiences a relationship can offer.

But what does it include? 

So, if you head over to google you'll find all sort of gross things. Really. Do yourself a favor and don't google it. I saw a lot I didn't want to see (which says sth considering I'm from the field) A real 24/7 D/s relationship is not about one partner dominating the other about every thing. Sure, you can do it. There's no limit and each is their own. But often such a relationship only works when there is a balanced give and take. 

Rain, for one, is actually having SUB printed on his forehead. If you ever been a Dom you take one look at Rain and be like "Yep, full sub." Like. there is no other option. But Rain is also a Brat (with capital B). 

Phayu is not only a Dom (shows in his behaviour, the way he carries himself, the way his eyes move [Boss is an awesome actor]) but also a Brat-tamer. 

(NOT every Dom is a Brat Tamer, and not every Dom's likes Brats. (I for one, don't want a Brat. Not for anything sexual, nor for a relationship. I can’t cope with it nor react accordingly) Every Dom is different. Pls keep that in mind) 

We see several instances where Phayu takes a close look at Rain. He checks his reaction, gauges it. He teases Rain just to see how he reacts bc it tells more about a person than any word can. In the bathroom/stall scene Phayu tests the waters. Is Rain just a Brat bc that's his nature? But in reality he's not into getting bossed around? Is he sensitive? Is he able to submit? At first it looks like Rain isn't. 

At first it looks as if Rain not only doesn't know he's into men, and specifically into someone with a shining aura of domination, it also looks as if he hugely underestimates Phayu. But a few seconds in, without Phayu actually kissing Rain (he's just teasing. He doesn't have Rain's consent, so he doesn't go down. Unlike the scene in the bed where Rain kicks him off with a pillow - where Phayu had been playing - here Phayu doesn't step over boundaries) Rain bares his throat. The ultimate submission. If you look closely, Phayu goes all OH, his eyebrows go up, his eyes widen when he sees Rain's reaction when he checks in on him. He keeps teasing Rain - again without really kissing him, just a breath of air against his neck, an occasional nosebump against skin - and Rain melts. His fingers clutch at Phayu, fist Phayu's shirt. Phayu rolls his hips once against Rain, and surely feels him hard. It's all the affirmation Phayu needs. Rain is a sub, he's very into being dominated and being told what to do, being told he's a good boy (bc D/s dynamics need quite an amount of praise).

Phayu could have gone further, but he decided to let Rain work through this at his own pace. And that’s what makes a good Dom. The consideration, the keeping strict to boundaries (they have not spoken about at that point, but Rain is like a walking open book, really). In the later episodes, we see Rain going from clueless virgin to Power Bottom. He learned Phayu's tricks and Phayu's movements. He uses them against Phayu when they start to make out after Phayu won the race. Phayu even tries to gain the upper hand again, presses Rain against the wall, only for Rain to turn around, not allowing Phayu to dictate where and how they are going. In the NC scene we see what a real D/s relationship is about. Give and take. Phayu allows Rain to do as he pleases. He gives him the power of their scene without allowing Rain to become a Dom. It's a balancing act. And they both are incredibly good at it. Phayu is wrecked right after because Rain has learned this much in the short time since Phayu took his virginity. We never see them sitting down and talk, but let's be real, it's what they did. Rain surely hadn't known about D/s before Phayu, but Phayu told him, taught him. No one gets into such a relationship without a lot of communication. And the 2nd NC scene shows how much communication they both went through. A LOT. Rain is a Brat, and he is a Sub, but that doesn't take away the power from him he has over Phayu. Quite the contrary.

First time they get intimate, if you look closely, what does Phayu do? He controls where Rain lies, how he lies. Phayu keeps Rain's hands in place on more than one occasion. This is a form of BDSM. (you may or may not call it like that and yes, I don't like boxes either, but if you go deep into these topics, you'll find it easier with boxes. Trust me. I tried without. It doesn't work.) It's a form of bondage, just that there is no rope. Why is this working for Rain, you may ask? Having a Dom (who knows what he does. May I add how rare that is?) like Phayu, who keeps his attention solely on Rain, checking in on him every few seconds without a word, always gauging Rain's reaction, and adjusting if necessary, is like a dream come true. Rain can let himself fall into Phayu's hands. He can trust Phayu will ensure they will get the best and most out of it. He can trust Phayu loves him and will cherish him. And that's the thing why being a sub is satisfying to no ends. As a Sub there are a lot of things you don't have to worry about. (which is, again, Rain in person. He's not the brightest star. He essentially needs someone like Phayu who knows what buttons to press to get Rain into the right direction without dominating him into it) A Dom is taking care of their sub, and that is what Phayu is doing 24/7. He keeps his eyes on Rain, corrects when necessary, stays cold and seemingly indifferent to Rain when he is in front of him, but melts into love stricken smiles when Rain can't see him. And Rain? In the course of their relationship we see how he starts to depend on Phayu. Yes, he is his own. He doesn't belong to Phayu. But he gives himself to Phayu. He can work himself alone (can go through daily whatever's easily by himself) but he knows he can fall back on Phayu. Just like Phayu gives himself to Rain. He allows Rain to dictate his life, can't keep Rain out of his head - see the way he got immediately worried when Rain didn't pick up his phone (bc he got kidnapped). The way Phayu frantically searched the house? That's what their relationship is about. Give and take. With D/s dynamics they both bend to their own will.

[gunsatthaphan]

“you want me to tell you…”

[liyazaki]

GAP THE SERIES | EP. 2 [2022-2023]

[whattheplot]

Three months ago I pitched an idea for a party game. Today, ‘WHAT THE PLOT?!™’ is a real game and available for pre-order! I am so excited. Thank you everyone for your support!

[whattheplot]

Click on a picture for higher quality! Tumblr compresses pictures so they might look a bit blurry!

[whattheplot]

What The Plot?!™ is now available for pre-order on planet Earth until January 1st! Definitely check it out; it’s pretty-ducking-epic thanks to your feedback and input!

https://creators.teespring.com/what-the-plot

[johnnyishereforever]

omg they actually did it!!

[cyhyryth-deactivated20210905]

guys ive been waiting for this. If I get it will you guys play? @folklorefairyqueen @moonxchaos

[folklorefairyqueen]

YES OMG I WANNA PLAY THIS RIGHT NOW @cyhyryth

[moonfireroulette]

this by itself already makes me wanna play this game 😂😂😂

[whattheplot]

UPDATE: Friday 27, March, 2020

It’s a real game now! The manufacturer sent us 5 copies! The quality is amazing! Thank you all for making this game a reality! The games are currently being shipped from Poland to a fulfillment center in the US and the Czech Republic. If you preordered the game, you can expect to have it in your hands at the end of April (so far, the pandemic has not been impeding our schedule).

The print quality of the cards is superb. The photos don’t do it justice! The text is a bit blurry in the pictures, but it’s crystal clear!

If you want to get notified when the next pre-order round drops - click here!

[golemgold]

This actually looks so good! I will definitely be getting this!

[justamemeyboy]

@whattheplot are you ever gunna bring this back?

[whattheplot]

What The Plot?!™ is now available in our online store!

Get it here

[simplysolo]

finally ordered mine!! can’t wait to get my hands on it :>

[candlesandink]

i want this so bad.

[bixisarusher]

I have it - it’s fun! 10/10 would recommend.

[dyannehs]

I own it!  Super fun, 5 stars.  Buy it today!

[rheevalka]

@hufflepuffhuggles I WANT IT

[pansexualcupcake-deactivated202]

I can see why! I mean…this sounds like the most entertaining chaos i can imagine!

[misscrawfords]

I spontaneously just ordered this wtf

[buzz-buzz-bish]

@music2muse @alegitamentblogiswear I bought this for us! We have to play!

[imawitchybitch]

I’ve reblogged this like seven times already, but I got mine late last year and oh! My! God! It’s so wonderful; my friends and I love to get drunk/hug and play. The creative opportunities are endless

[pandas-cant-fly-ks]

I also got this game!! It’s super good!! Definitely recommend :)

[shippingallthetime]

I am definitely gonna get this!!!

[terminallycagey]

Bought it because it looked like a fun party game, and oh man was it ever, even if you’re a little nervous. 10 Stars!!!!!

[micistired]

i need this now

[ginathethundergoddess]

I Kickstarted this game and let me tell you it is a riot to play!

[whattheplot]

We are almost out of stock!

Get the game here while stock lasts!

[hellishseaqueen]

If you need any other reason to buy this: my family and i played this and we came up with the most awful, hilarious stories. Absolutely the best thing to play with friends or family

[horrorobsessor]

I have played it with my friends and it is a blast. We now have a potent inside joke from one of the stories we made up while playing this game

[thirdpunch]

[daikunart]

𝐏𝐚𝐲𝐮 | 𝐞𝐩𝟑

[pharawee]

I belong to you now. d a r k   v e r  ///  light ver LOVE IN THE AIR : Episode 4

[prometheuswelsh]

what a tease

[obliteratedfreak]

[gunsatthaphan]

“I kept my promise.”

[gunsatthaphan]

“you’re finally smiling.”

[daikunart]

𝐏𝐚𝐲𝐮 | 𝐄𝐏𝟒

[daikunart]

𝐏𝐚𝐲𝐮𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐧 | 𝐄𝐩𝟔

[daikunart]

𝐏𝐚𝐲𝐮 | 𝐄𝐩𝟓

[wahgifs]

good job. love in the air episode 2

[wahgifs]

korean food. for real? korean food? yeah. don’t you look korean enough? i thought you wouldn’t tease me. this isn’t teasing, it’s affection. love in the air episode 5