Fic- Why Annie and Clint are not allowed on shopping trips without supervision anymore...
Annie and Clint were both trying to keep from laughing and to do that they had to keep staring at the ground. As it was Annie was barely fighting her laughter, her shoulder shaking silently. She could hear the yelling from the manager’s office. They were both just lucky that Auggie was nearby and could help calm the situation down. She did hear something about being banned for life from all Toys-R-Us around the world.
“Hey Clint, are you doing anything right now? Want to go shopping with me? I need to hit Toys-R-Us for a gift for my niece,” asked Annie peeking her head around the door.
“Sure! Anything sounds better than paperwork.”
They made a stop for large sugary coffees before entering the store, leaving them both slightly buzzed on caffeine and sugar.
“Let’s see…what would be good for an eight year old girl?” asked Annie.
“What Clint?” turns to face him only to get hit in the face with a nerf dart. “Oh you better run, boy!”
“Come and get me, Annie Oakley, that is if you can.” Clint just laughed before taking off down an aisle.
Annie growled but paused long enough to arm herself with a few guns too.
After getting yelled at again by the staff both “adults” promised to behave. They now wandered into the stuffed animal section.
“Hey, Clint, look, this one is your look-a-like!”
“Really?” He turns to face her but instead gets hit in the head with a stuffed frog. “Very funny! Well, fine if that’s me, then…” He quickly looks around spotting a stuffed white toy poodle and throws it her. “This is you!”
Annie growls at him and starts launching all the nearby stuffed animals at him shrieking.
“I AM NOT A DAMN POODLE! I AM NOT A STUPID LITTLE FLUFFY DOG THAT A LITTLE OLD LADY KEEPS! I AM VICIOUS ROTTWIELIER!”
Clint just laughs ducking behind a shelf until she runs out of ammo.
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Fifteen minutes after that…
They had carefully put all the stuffed animals back on the shelves before the staff could get angry again. Eventually they make it to the Barbie doll aisle.
“No! I refuse! I absolutely refuse to by my niece anything from this aisle. I will not be part of brainwashing her into believing girls need to be tiny things with big boobs in skimpy clothing that always wears high heels.”
Clint just raises an eyebrow and looks down at Annie’s feet.
“Shut-up, Clint. I will not buy my niece one these soulless plastic things. Fuck no!”
“Ma’am, please lower your voice and watch your language. There are children around.”
“Yea, lady go back to the kitchen and make me a sandwich!” some random guy walking by snarled.
Annie almost launched herself at him but Clint was quicker and grabbed her around the waist.
“LET ME GO! I’ll MURDER HIM! I WILL RIP HIS BALLS OFF AND SHOVE THEM DOWN HIS THROAT WITH MY BARE HANDS!”
“Dude, you need to put your woman in her place,” said the idiot with no self preservation skills. “That’s what happens when you let them go to college. My woman was married and pregnant before we even graduated high school.”
Clint just sighed and let Annie ago. That man later agreed not to press charges because Auggie threatened to show video of him getting his ass kicked by a woman to all the men at his construction job. He did however have to drink his meals through a straw for the next six weeks.
“We are buying her something from the ‘boy section’” growls Annie grabbing Clint by the hand and dragging him to the superhero aisle.
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Another ten minutes pass…
“Well, at least we have what we came for,” she said holding up Batman, Robin, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman and Superman plushies.
Clint is snickering snapping pictures of all the figures of their friends that are now in compromising positions. Basically, every Captain America and Iron Man are having sex now in almost every position in the Kama Sutra.
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They had almost left the store when they found a bubble blowing display. Right next the slime toys. And the markers. Even after watching the tape neither could explain how they were covered in head to toe in bubbles, slime and had curse words written all over any skin showing.
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Annie was still trying to keep from snickering anytime she glanced over at Clint. The words “Annie is Queen Bitch and owns me,” written on his face. But she knew that on her face were the words “Clint rules, Annie drools”.
A throat cleared and she looked over to see Auggie standing their smirking.
“You both are released without charges. So long as you pay for all the damages done today. And you promise never to step foot in a Toys-R-Us again. ANY Toys-R-Us or Kids-R-Us around the world. Now come on you naughty children.”
Annie and Clint high fived each other following Auggie.
“Best shopping trip ever!” she giggled.
