I never thought id ever say that icl. Someone needs to slap that smug ass look off his face (me) ok im kidding i need a full body shot of him rn. Hes so big đ€€đŁ
And then there's tamsy đđđ omg he lookssooo beautiful. His cheeks look so squishy âčïžâčïžâčïž i wanna bite him and eat him. Ok i want him dead
I have been thinking on this for a while... but I think I want to start making x readers where the reader is an SA victim.
Before anybody starts--I am not fetishizing it by any means. I myself am a victim of Child-On-Child Sexual Abuse (COCSA), and the isolation we all face is immense, let alone victims such as me who don't fit the narrow ideas society holds of what a "legit victim" looks like. So many times when I read fanfiction, I wanted to ask for headcanons of the character with a s/o or a friend who is a COCSA victim.
I knew by age 14 that I cannot request something so intimate from a user, so I will make it myself. It took me so long to so much as posting Mark Grayson x Reader that focuses on his SA for people let alone one where the reader is an SA victim. I'm not doing this as a fetish... I just want people like me to feel seen and comforted.
If I can scroll and see rape fic after rape fic, then I can make fics where the reader is already a victim (not shitting on anybody, just making a point). I want to comfort those disturbed like me. You may request to me, but please understand that this is a fragile thing for my mental health.
There is stuff in the works now. That is all the announcements that I doubt anybody will see.
Good morning/afternoon/evening author! I'm wondering if you could do a Zanka x reader based to this mashed up song Put your head on my shoulder x Freak by doja cat? So basically, Zanka's an absolute gentleman while reader is a closeted freak!
Freak
Pairing: Gentleman (hidden freak) Zanka x (hidden freak) Reader
cw/tags: Suggestive language, kinks (nothing major tho Idrk the name of most), ooc, not proofread
a/n: This was lowkey how me and my bf (now as in some days ago đ) kinda acted. While not the same I DEFINITELY recognize the dynamic.
You want him so bad it was insane.
Not to many people were surprised when the two of you had gotten together. It was clear from the get go that Zanka had saw you differently compared to everyone else. From the way he was so obviously gentler with you, and how possessive he could get when it came to you and your safety. He wanted you and you wanted him back. The only thing is that it was just getting to hard to control. Especially with just how much of a gentleman he was with you.
Everything little thing Zanka did would send thoughts racing through your head. Thoughts about him. Thoughts about what he would do with you. Thoughts about what he would do to you. You wanted, prayed even, for him to press his body into and have his way. Grab you by the hair and yank your head back until tears filled your eyes. He looked so mean and aggressive when talking to someone who annoyed him (Rudo), it was unfair he was never like that towards you.
You kissed and made out sure, but it was never harsh or punishing. Zanka always took his time on you, even when there wasn't that much time left to begin with. Especially due to being a cleaner, so much time was spend out on missions, healing from missions, and training. So a lot of time all there was time to do was a soft peck before a mission or even sneaking off somewhere on HQ during a party and returning since. You were yearning for something more, and the opportunity has never came.
Until now.
It had been a quiet day on HQ. And for once in a long time you and Zanka both had nothing to do for the whole day. You had practically skipped to Zanka's room to spend time with him. He probably heard your giggles from a mile away as he was already standing by his door waiting for you.
A smile blossomed on your face and you could describe what you did next as ungracefully leaping into his arms and them wrapping you firmly. You sunk deep into his embrace. The way his arms wrapped around you and dug into your waist. You couldn't help the thoughts from rushing through your head.
For example: just how would it feel like to have his arms wrapped around the same but with you on his lap moaning and your back to his chest. And how he would have you ride him like a doll made for only his pleasure as you moaned and called him by the filthiest nicknames.
Your body subconsciously rubbed against him, your pelvis pressing against his own as you smiled and giggled to yourself. Now while he was a gentleman, that doesn't mean he wasn't a man. There were so many, to many really, times where he had almost lost control. So many times he had looked down at you and thought about the way it would look with tears rolling down your face and a bulge in your throat.
"Hey," a strained voice came out of his voice as he carefully pulled your body away from his own. now grabbing you by the shoulders instead of waist. "How 'bout we in now?" Zanka's eyes strayed away from yours and his cheeks turned the color of apples. How couldn't he be nervous when he just had his girlfriend smushed against him so lovingly. "Fer privacy..."
He led you into his room silently, his slender hand finding the small of your back as you finally stepped inside. Zanka's room was incredibly neat, probably the neatest in the building. Every surface was cleaned with no clothes laying around or anything. As good as it looked, you honestly wouldn't mind a mess. But instead of just his clothes littering the ground, also yours as the bed creaked in the background which went along musically with your cries to Zanka about how you're to sensitive for more.
The lock of the door made a small clicking sound and before you could turn to see. Zanka was already nudging you to his bed silently, Which was also nicely made, though that isn't much of a surprise. He pushes the two of you onto the bed with a sigh and leans back onto his forearms as he sits lazily next you.
"I'm so tired." You could hear the tiredness in his voice, as cute but sad as it was.
You reached out and buried your hand in hair and gently massaged his scalp. "Aren't we all?"
Zanka scoffed, though he didn't seem to annoyed. His face had softened up the moment your skin touched a follicle. "Not Rudo's bitch ass. Always causin trouble f'me and fer no reason, and always moaning about how training it to hard."
You and you hand migrated down to his chin teasing him. His piercing blue eyes locked onto you with enough annoyance to kill and crowd of people. But you didn't stop, you loved this side of him. How he sometimes seemed to look at people from down his nose. And you've tried so hard to be respectful, you really have. To the man that would open doors for you and no one else. To the man who used to keep space between the two of you to not make you uncomfortable. Zanka was sweet so you. But you wanted something spicy not sweet. "Well, I wouldn't mind you making you moan."
There was a long stretch of silence once the words left your mouth. It wasn't even that crazy, at least in your opinion. You could've easily gone into detail on how you wanted him to make you moan.
You glance back at Zanka who you find is already staring at you with this blank but heated look in his eye. Some level of shock was expected sure, but this was annoying.
"Why are you acting so surprised? Is it not normal for a girlfriend to want those types of things with her boyfriend." Now you were the one buffering. It didn't seem like he was uncomfortable. He was red, but when was he not?
"It is normal,"he grabs at your arms and you pull away at the abrupt movement. He rolls his eyes before wrapping a hand on your inner thigh and pulling you closer to him. "You should've told me earlier though. Why didn't you tell me? I've been acting so gentlemanly for you, I thought- Ugh..."
He buried his head in his hand and trembled lightly. If you looked closely, you would've thought he was Tom the Tomato. "Well, at least you now that I'm ready. I'm ready for anything you'd do to me Zanka, you wouldn't believe it."
He shuddered at your words, though refused to lift his head. "Stop that, just be more open about what you want next time."
You smirked to yourself. If that's what he really wanted then you would deliver. After he had calmed down, he expressed that he had been 'wanting' for a minute now but didn't want to scare you off. It was nice sure, though you definitely expected the about wanting have sex and hidden kinks to be more explicit. But it was a start at least. And with this, you and Zanka made a promise to be more open about what you possibly wanted. And you told that you wouldn't hold back, which is exactly what happened.
Zanka continued to be a sweetheart to you. He still defended your name. And still paid when our together or even in a group. Though the crevices in between those were just filled with heated glances and words being said that used to be held back. Mostly coming from you.
It had been a simple with no supporters just you and Zanka out and about. Semiu, the Boss, and Enjin all trusted you as a pair. While you were together, you both knew how to handle yourselves.
And that's how it was. You two went out. Took care of the trash beasts. Checked each other for injuries. Luckily nothing major just some minor enough scratches. Not only scratches though, but a but that was forming on Zanka's neck after getting hit. Luckily it had been on the weaker side. And of course, you said the first thing that came to your head. "You leave one of those on my neck tonight."
Zanka grimaced, as he whenever you decided to make one of your special comments. Though from that look in his to was obvious that he enjoyed it. Not to mention it was so hard to miss the way he smirked from he was the only one who had you talking and thinking like this.
"Maybe I should."
"Yeah you should. And lower to. The lower the better Zan Zan."
Now he just looks unimpressed. He presses his hand onto your lower back and guides you in the direction of the long and annoying way back to HQ.
"We'll talk later about that Zanka."
He didn't respond, but from that clench in his jaw it was obvious he had the same plans as you.
HI IM THE PERSON FROM THE LAST REQUEST PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE AN NSFW VERSION OLEASEE HELL YEAH
Look me in the eye NSFW
Pairing: Zanka x Fem!Reader
Warnings/tags: Smut, porn little plot, ooc, not proof read
a/n: This gets SO bad at the end omg. I'm genuinely horrible at writing smut so this prolly not what you wanted. Also to anyone who has requested something that should be coming within the next few days (hopefully)
Pt. 1 (SFW Ver.)
And as much as you hoped was just something said in the moment, Zanka wasn't lying when he said that you would work on your problem with eye contact. It had started off small, just keeping a few eye contact when conversations got quiet. To wordlessly staring at and even grabbing your face or hair when you lost focus. Every time your thighs would always clench together. And every time he would notice.
Today unfortunately had been harder for you. You just couldn't help it. You had stood by as he trained silently with his shirt off. And as much as you tried, you just couldn't keep your eyes off him. The way sweat dripped down his back. Or just how good he looked when mad at Rudo. For once, it was hard to look away. Especially with how beautiful he looked.
Zanka stopped with a pause before turning to look back at you. He could feel you staring straight through his skin. Your eyes darted away the split second you guys made eye contact. But he had noticed.
Which is what led you to this position. You were now half way on the bed with your legs raised and feet resting on his shoulders. With Zanka standing between your legs with his hands on your hips as he rolled into you. The bed beneath you creaked at each movement but the sound was barely registering to you anymore. Your body practically limp beneath his touch. And no matter how much you pleaded, he wouldn't let your gaze stray from the path of his.
A symphony of moans and cries left your mouth with each roll of his hips. And that smoldering look in his eyes only grew hotter with each increase in your volume. You weren't the only making noise though, with soft grunts leaving his mouth with each squeeze of your plush cunt.
"Fuck." Zanka's eyes closed tight at the sensation. "So, ugh, tight. Sure I loosened yah up earlier." You whimpered against his ministration, as you moved against him for any type of friction.
"Zanka please!" Your moans came out broken and raw. With each time his tip would press so harshly yet so good on your cervix. You wanted that release. You craved for it. And he could tell by the shaking of your lips and how you rutted up against him.
His body curved in on top of you. A forearm rested right next to your face with the other still latched on your hip with a dangerous grip. "Remember," he eyes darkened and he leaned scarily close to your face. "Keep your eyes on me. I want to see every reaction vividly.
And that that's what you did, even though it was so so hard. His movements grew rough and unpaced. You gummy walls closed in on his shaft as he marked every part of your insides. Your head rolled back with each thrust and your jaw unlatched and open. Each and every sound escaping so easily he could almost laugh. And how tears now streamed down your face and dripping down your face. It was beautiful to watch. Your legs shook violently against him. You were so close. He reached between you, the warmth of his hand on your hip disappearing, and pinched your clit between his fingers.
A sob released itself from your throat as he continued thrusting in, his groans becoming so apparent. You cunt squeezed and frothed around him, as the combined slick covered your thighs and his base. Skin against skin slapped against each other and his hands tensed as they latched onto your skin.
Now it was Zanka sobbing. His pace was fast and uncontrolled with his eyes closed shut. He buried his face the soft crooked of your neck and bit down. A loud moan ripped from your mouth has hot strings of cum shot into you and covered your gooey walls with him. Zanka's body shuddered above you. It was so, soo good. His ministrations slowly came to a halt as he firmly pressed his own body against yours.
You laid there covered in liquids from either person. With Zanka this time being the one having a hard time holding eye contact.
Mizi having a habit of lashing out at Sua with physical violence when Sua says/does something that hurts her is actually why we need toxic grieving rebound Hyumizi even more because Hyuna will just beat her ass back
The training yard was unusually quiet, save for Riyoâs voice cheering Rudo on as he tried to create a fourth consecutive Jinki.
Zanka felt awful. He had never imagined just how much he could miss the sound of your voice until now. He had returned from a particularly rough mission, injured and exhausted, and you had greeted him the same way you always did, with a tight hug and immediately launching into everything that had happened while he was gone. He had been so tired that the first thing out of his mouth was a, "why donât ya just be quiet? You talk too much, and Iâm real tired right now. Weâll talk later." And just like that, he went off to take a comforting shower, leaving you behind with your chest tight and tears threatening to fall, without even realizing how insensitive and stupid he had sounded.
"Zanka? Hey, Zanka." Riyoâs voice pulled him abruptly from his thoughts.
"Mhm?..." he replied, unconsciously tightening his grip on his Lovely Assistaff.
"I was saying... are you okay? You seem kinda overwhelmed" she asked, stepping closer.
"He snapped at Y/n, and now the idiot feels guilty" Rudo blurted, staring at him with those little demon eyes.
"Whatâd ya just say, you insolent brat? For talkinâ back to your mentor, youâre doinâ 200 push-ups. Maybe thatâll shut that big mouth of yours for a few seconds." Zanka snapped. The boy groaned but went to a mat and started.
Riyo sighed, spinning her Reaper between her fingers as she stood beside Zanka, both watching Rudo struggle.
"What did you say to Y/n?" she asked carefully.
"I think I told her to shut up without thinkinâ..." Zanka muttered, running a hand nervously along his staff.
"Youâre always rough with your words. You should be more careful with the stupid things you say, especially with Y/n. She cares about you a lot, you canât deny that. Yeah, she talks a lot, but she always chooses you to tell everything to."
"I know. Should I?..."
"Go talk to her. Apologize and control your temper. Iâll take care of Rudo" Riyo cut him off.
Zanka didnât hesitate. He searched the entire facility for you, but no one had seen you since he arrived. Eventually, he dropped onto the couch in the common room, covering his face while Enjin and Bro played cards.
"Did you check the rooftop?" Semiu asked from behind. Zanka turned immediately. "I saw her go up, and she hasnât come back down."
That was all he needed. He rushed up the stairs, but as he turned the final corner, he saw you coming down. You were rubbing your eyes, clearly tired. He stopped short. So did you.
The silence between you was heavy, and Zanka noticed your red, swollen eyes. Something inside him tightened.
"Iâm sorry," he said immediately. "I was a damn idiot. Didnât think before I spoke. I was tired, but that ainât no excuse. I had no right to treat ya like that."
You looked at him in silence, not answering.
"You talk a lot. Always have. And sometimes... it gets to me. But it ainât âcause I donât wanna hear ya." He swallowed, uncomfortable. "Itâs âcause I got used to it. To you beinâ there, talkinâ, fillinâ up the silence. And when you ainât there... it feels wrong."
Your brows furrowed slightly.
"Today the yard was way too quiet. And I hated it."
You lowered your gaze, hesitant.
"I thought I just annoyed you" you murmured.
"Yeah, sometimes" he admitted bluntly. "But that donât mean I want ya to stay quiet forever."
A small silence settled again.
"When I got back and you started talkinâ... it was normal. The usual. And I guess thatâs what calms me down after a mission. But I was so damn tired I messed it up."
You looked away, fidgeting with your hands.
"It hurt," you said softly. "Because I always talk to you. Even if you donât answer, even if you complain... itâs always you."
Zanka glanced away for a second, uncomfortable, but didnât run. He took a breath and looked back at you with resolve.
"I know."
He exhaled slowly.
"Y/n... I ainât good at this."
"I noticed."
"But I donât want you misunderstandinâ things either." He stepped closer. "I value silence. I like it. But I put up with you âcause itâs you."
You blinked, surprised.
"If it were anyone else, I wouldâve told âem to shut up a long time ago. With you... itâs different."
"Different how?" you asked.
Zanka clenched his jaw, clearly out of his comfort zone.
"âCause you matter to me more than you probably should."
The air tightened.
"I donât like how it feels when I hurt ya. Donât like not listeninâ to ya. Donât like it when you ainât talkinâ near me." He frowned, frustrated with himself. "And thatâs a problem."
"Why would that be a problem?" you asked more softly.
"âCause you distract me," he answered honestly. "And I start thinkinâ âbout you even when you ainât around."
Your heart sped up.
"Zanka..."
"And I donât even know when it started," he continued, running a hand through his hair. "It just... happened. You became part of my routine. And now... I donât want that to change."
Your lips parted slightly.
"So... you donât want me to shut up?" you tried to joke, though your voice trembled.
Zanka let out a small breath that almost sounded like a laugh.
"Nah. I want ya to keep talkinâ. Maybe just... a little less when I just got back from a mission."
That earned a faint smile from you.
"Iâll try."
You looked at each other in silence again, but this time it wasnât uncomfortable.
"Y/n" he said, quieter.
"Yeah?"
"I like you."
Time seemed to stop.
Your eyes widened slightly.
"You talk too much, youâre loud, you get into trouble where you shouldnât... but I like you anyway."
For once, you were speechless.
"And I guess I wanna keep listeninâ to ya. Even if I complain."
The silence that followed felt different. Warmer.
Then you smiled.
"Then youâre in trouble," you said with a small, nervous laugh. "Because Iâm never gonna stop talking... especially not now."
Zanka frowned slightly, confused for a second.
"Now?"
You looked straight into his eyes, a mix of nerves and determination.
"Because I like you too."
For a moment, Zanka went completely blank. That was not something he had been prepared for.
A blush crept onto his cheeks before he could stop it. He looked away for a second, processing, then looked back at you.
"Well... Iâll be" he muttered.
Silence returned, but this time neither of you wanted to break it too quickly. Zanka let out a short breath, bringing a hand to his mouth, as if accepting something inevitable.
"Guess I really am in trouble, huh."
You laughed softly, your cheeks flushed, and this time he didnât look away.
"Yeah, you are." you said, smiling brightly at him.
And for the first time, he didnât mind it at all.
Zanka who thought that you were hopeless. You always had this dumb smile on your face and asked questions that didn't need an answer.
Zanka who would find you a little weird sometimes. You just seemed so happy and clueless that it had to be fake.
Zanka who wondered just why exactly people liked you so much. And would get annoyed whenever they talked to you.
Zanka who realized he was jealous whenever you talked to others and not him.
Zanka who couldn't help but pay attention to the way guys looked at you. Sometimes even making sure they don't get a chance with you.
Zanka who acted all embarrassed when you proudly mentioned (in front of everyone) that he had a crush you.
Zanka who blushed when he noticed that sly little grin on your face as you watched him.
Zanka who hides how happy he is to be yours.
Zanka who forgets all about the doubts that he had about you. They don't matter anymore.
Zanka who sometimes pulls away when you reach out to hold his hand, but quickly gets used to it.
Zanka who secretly likes the way you hold onto his arm, but doesn't admit it.
Zanka who noticed the way your eyes dim whenever a guy makes a pass at you before you giggle and your smile doesn't reach your eyes.
Zanka who often goes to parties eith you sticking closer to his side instead of surrounding yourself with others.
Zanka who doesn't say anything when you slowly start to become more reclusive. He hasn't been to your room in weeks, and you tell him that it's dirty.
Zanka who believes he heard a cleaner mention your name, but ignores it.
Zanka who misses how happy you used to be.
Zanka who realizes that you aren't as ditzy as he thought, you just never showed how uncomfortable you were with everything until now.
Zanka who walks to your room with his heart beating fast. He plans on being better, and tell you how he wants to help you.
Zanka who stops at the sight inside slowly. Your bright and livy room has bow turned into a dark secluded space with items littering the floor. A small unrecognizable lump layer curled into a ball underneath the wrinkled comforter. He stood still and you remained how you were.
Zanka who didn't take a step to the bed but doesn't leave either.
Zanka who can't help but think that it might be to late.
Zanka who wishes he had said something before as he stares blankly into what you've been going through all this time.
Zanka's eyes twitched upon meeting the supposed ânew faceâ in the Akuta team.
He knew exactly who the person standing before him was,
and he definitely remembered this face.
You were that little kid from the neighbouring house back when he was a toddler.
The little kid who cries ugly whenever he says he doesn't want to play house with you.
In the end, he'd be forced to tolerate your never ending yapping or your energy that doesn't seem to fade no matter the activity.
Not to mention, but you're like a leech. Always following him around, always pestering him and stomping your feet when you don't get your way.
You're pretty sensitive back then, and you cry almost because of everything, and he'd always be blamed whenever you cry over literally nothing.
But he wasn't even upset at the fact he gets scolded for you being stupid and grazing your knees when he definitely told you not to run,
He gets overstimulated when you finally cry.
Like said, you cry hideously, it was ridiculous, and all he remembered was those times you'd sob to him, wiping your snot at his shirt while he yells for you to get off.
Now, here you are, staring back at him with a light smirk playing on your lips, wiggling your fingers at his direction playfully.
Zanka had to double takeâtriple take.
You look gorgeous now, it's hard to even imagine you crying ugly with how sexy you look now.
Did he just think that? You? Sexy? Hot?
Zanka remained composed, but the heat running on his pierced ears betrayed the composure he's desperately trying to put together.
âOh! And this is Zanka, he's good with vital instruments, if you ever need help with mastering your abilities, just call him.â
Enjin introduced Zanka to you proudly, as much as he liked the praise, he felt embarrassment creeping its way up to his face.
âOoooh, hi, Zanka." The smirk on your lips stretched wider, because you recognize him and Zanka tried his best not to look at everything else.
Because he might just combust right then and there.
You know that you're attractive now, but he bet you don't even know the tightening in his pants.
When did you get so hot?
Idk if anyone had done this idea butttt if anyone did I'm sorry AGHHHHHH
