Ms_Coffe's Den

[jessiewithaj]

sex, but instead of fucking you, we both get naked and i hold your head in my lap and forgive you for everything you think you've done wrong.

[jessiewithaj]

hey every girl rbing this with "please", "need", or somesuch, come here.

i am giving you a big hug from which you cannot escape.

i am squeezing you into my chest until all that tension eases and you can relax and feel safe in my arms.

[jessiewithaj]

happy Pride, all you traumatized, touch-starved lesbians <3

[drowsy-corpsegirl]

The Dom should be praised too

[drowsy-corpsegirl]

Take care of your doms. Praise them. Make them feel cared for and loved. Or you don't deserve them.

[drowsy-corpsegirl]

This applies doubly, x10 tbh, to transfemme doms. You NEED to be nice to her, you NEED to let her know she is doing a good job. That transfemme dom might have a lot of issues with her self worth, she may have been used up and left a discarded husk so many times.

Sorry but I got sick of scrolling through the notes on this on desktop and seeing all the red usernames marked by shinigami eyes reblogging this.

I'm a transfemme dom and I'm proud of it. Take care of us. Love us.

[xoxochimera]

Wolf and Bunny, Pt. 6.1

Previous Part

First Part

Day 653

You fucked it up. God, you really couldn't help running your big, stupid mouth, could you? An almost two year relationship down the drain, all because you couldn’t help being a possessive asshole.

Both of you have been struggling. You've been feeling more easily agitated, and you can't walk anywhere in public without hundreds of eyes passing over you with looks varying from wonder, to disgust, to fear. Bunny has been navigating an increasingly difficult life as more people began to see her less of a person and more of a sex object because of her changes. And, of course, both of you were dealing with the less glamorous parts of your hormones: the agonizing shifting of bone, skin stretching to fit new growths, and the itchiness of new fur.

You knew she had it worse. Her hormones came with more warnings than yours, most of them specifically centered on the changes to sex drive the user would experience. Sometimes, Bunny’s urges would get so bad she’d wind up in tears from how overwhelmed she’d get.

Thankfully, she’d managed to find a support group- other Rabbits who’d get together and be there for each other during their estrus cycle to help keep it from becoming a hindrance to their everyday life. You supported her, like a good girlfriend, but you couldn’t always be there when you still had work and your own hard days. Both of you discussed it in depth before she committed to getting into that level of intimacy with other people. You even met the other girls.

You tried not stare too hard, especially at Kate- who was the furthest along in her transformation, and who had the cutest ears and nose and god her tits we’re so big and fluffy…

Bunny definitely noticed you looking, and had not so jokingly suggested seeing if any of the girls were interested in a little hunter x prey play. If your face hadn’t been covered in fur by then, you would have been beet red.

They all met up for a whole weekend once a month, but they also hung out a lot outside of their meetups. You obviously wanted to give Bunny her space- the two of you spent almost every night together during the week, and would go on dates when your schedules lined up for it. But, there was a small, shitty part of you deep down that started to worry. It wasn’t clear exactly why at first, but over the course of four months, as Bunny began to spend more time with her friends and maybe just a slight bit less time at home, it festered and grew until it was creeping up into your thoughts any time she was away.

You were afraid she would leave you behind.

The logical thing to do would have been to talk to her about how you were feeling. But, you were ashamed of feeling that way and didn’t want to make her upset by saying something, so you grinned and you bared it and you told yourself it was for her sake. Bottling up all that jealousy and sexual frustration because they were yours to deal with. You didn't want to become another burden in her life. And how well did that go for you? Between the late nights you were pulling at the bar and her own schedule having her wake up early the two of you had barely gotten to see each other. Your loneliness and jealousy over the fact other girls were seeing your girlfriend more than you kept building. All it took was one bad night for you to finally break.

One stupid argument over something that wasn't really even important was all it took. It sparked the powder keg you'd tried so hard to stamp down, and you snapped at her in a very literal sense. You snarled, and you growled, and you said something truly awful to her. All of the anger drained out at once as you realized, horrified with yourself, what you'd just done.

Bunny had quietly grabbed a bag after that and left. Fuck, you wished she'd gotten angry- blown up on you for being an asshole like you'd seen her do to everyone else that ever dared to say a mean word to her or you. She wouldn't look at you, but you could tell her eyes were filled with tears. Bunny's sad disappointment in you cut you far deeper than any knife ever could.

You stare at your phone screen again trying to ignore the newly made crack from after you had thrown it in a fit of anger, shame, and self loathing. You wished your budding tail was big enough to wrap it around yourself as you hug your knees to your chest. She hadn't texted you back at all since leaving a few days ago. Some of her friends from the group, including Kate, had swung by to pick up some clothes and other items for her, and you couldn't work up the nerve to ask anything more than if she was okay.

Kate was the one who opened up to talking to you.

"Just, give her some space for now, okay pup?" she'd prompted, giving you a reassuring pat on the head (which she'd hat to get up on her toes to give).

"I...yeah."

"And no more name calling," she added. "Our girl deserves better than that."

You nodded, too ashamed to form words. As they were leaving, you were finally able to say, "Tell her...tell her that I'm so fucking sorry."

Kate smiled, "Hopefully, you'll be able to tell her yourself, okay?"

It took another few days, almost a full week (which you'd spent crying yourself to sleep each night and calling out of work for your mental health) before you finally heard from her.

Your cracked phone rang, startling you out of your depression spiraling for the day.

Okay. Time to make things right, dumbass.

(To be continued)

[sashayed]

has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing

[boomstab-papa]

[your-cosmic-creature]

“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”

[maxmorkson]

Happy Pride, bite a transphobe today 💙

[xoxochimera]

Times are hard these days. Even the monster under my bed is subletting.

[xoxochimera]

Fml starting to get ads with my night terrors.

[xoxochimera]

Times are hard these days. Even the monster under my bed is subletting.

[indigosfindings]

callout posts are like "i did something extremely rude to this person & they were annoyed by that. dont you think that means they should lose all of their friends & become socially untouchable & get shot with 1 million guns???"

[beyond-a-name]

"This person's actually responding in a really composed and understandable manner given the public harassment campaign I'm putting them through where I call them a child molester for kinda grossing me out. obviously that means they're digging their heels in to the child molestation thing. I'm such a smart and good person, and I actually care about victims and restorative justice. Anyway help me drive them to suicide."

[writing-is-a-martial-art]

truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

[dead-dove-ble]

Actually you SHOULD make problematic content. You SHOULD explore dark or taboo topics. You SHOULD have a space where you can cope with your traumas or explore sensitive topics in a way that doesn't hurt anyone.

[shiptillyoudie]

Also you should make problematic content for funsies. You don't need to have had trauma or need to be coping in order to explore dark creativity. You can just be a human who wants to explore dark and taboo topics because you want to. That's completely normal, btw.

Every single person on this planet thinks about dark and taboo things. It's literally the most normal thing in the world.

Go draw the horror porn and be free.

[tackypies]

we should all be more like david cronenberg and write fucked up stuff. For Funsies

[xoxochimera]

Me as a boy in my 20s: I think I’m going to die alone, I just can’t seem to make my relationships last or connect with anyone

Me as a girl in my 30s: I just made a girl cum so hard in the front seat of my Nissan she screamed, then drove home eating curly fries and listening to the Inspector Gadget theme

[xoxochimera]

The lesson to be learned here is that I had to learn to love myself before I could properly love anyone else.

[buttpoems]

[shirecorn]

THIS is the comic that has been banned

It was flagged as "Eksplicit", shadowbanned, and every reblog turned invisible. The flagging is also unappealable (unless that is an error, thanks tumblr)

Happy Trans Day of Invisibility from your tumblr mods!

Only found out because I tried to reblog with an update from your local trans unicorn siblings!

I cannot even LINK to my old comic without every new post getting deleted.

And yet, we will CONTINUE to exist, and grow, and find each other. We will be visible up to and beyond our own deaths. Because we stand for love. We love ourselves and each other and that just makes us stronger.

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

average day for lancelot compilation

[xoxochimera]

Average modern anime titles:

[sashasurname]

tag your trans types (≤3)

[sashasurname]

Due to popular demand, we have added more types!

[xoxochimera]

Testament. (Pt. 1)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/80149366/chapters/210410931

V sat on the railing of the Coronado Dam, nothing but air between her and the ground three hundred feet below. Night City and its outskirts stretched out before her, glowing radiantly against the twilight. A half-finished Hawt Dog laid abandoned by her side as she took in the sights. There’d been a can of NiCola as well, but she’d slid it past the edge just to watch it fall. The dam had become one of her favorite spots during the last month- the noise of the city was distant enough to not be overwhelming, and having the full view of it helped clear her head while also providing some…perspective.

She'd never thought about just how painfully bright the lights of Night City were. How blinded they could make you. Her first sight of the city enraptured her, filling her head with visions of fame, glory, and wealth. Just a few short months ago, she’d thought the city looked beautiful at night- a beacon calling out to anyone brave enough to make a name for themselves within its boundaries. Now it looked more like a blight. A shining trap waiting for its next victim and snuffing out the light of anything other than its own. When was the last time she’d been able to look up and see stars instead of neon, LED, and soulless fluorescent?

Her cigarette burned down between her metal fingers, the cherry at its tip a speck compared to the towering brightness of the mega buildings and corpo towers. She hated that she would never know if the habit was something she'd have taken a liking to if someone else hadn’t given her their addiction. Feeling a headache coming on, she turned her attention to the cigarette case Judy had given her. As V took a long drag, holding the smoke in lungs caged behind titanium gilded bones, she ran her thumb over the golden rabbit and heart decorating the front.

Part of her wanted to huck the damn case full of smokes as hard as she could off the dam- watch it shatter hundreds of miles below. But the memory of Evelyn, broken and bloody in Judy’s bathroom, made her feel like she still needed to hold on to it. Evelyn Parker had disappeared from her life as quickly as she’d entered it, and despite how royaly fucked over she’d managed to leave her V couldn’t help but pity the woman. No one deserved the nightmare she’d gone through.

“Johnny,” she mused, returning the case to her pocket, “what do you think happens after you die?”

Her companion, appearing in her eyes to be leaning against the railing next to her, huffed. “Heard once that you shit your pants.”

“That’s not what I fucking meant.”

He flicked his cigarette and let it vanish back into the data he and it were made of. “Yeah, V, I know.”

"I mean, like, what do you think happened to you- the real you- after you died?"

"Fuck, V," Johnny sighed, "I don't know. Never really thought about shit like that."

She cocked an eyebrow, "Never had any thoughts about spirituality and religion?"

"Sure I did. That it was for suckers. Gonks too lazy to think for themselves and people who need to be told that there's some kind of order to all this bullshit. A better life they can escape to for being a well-behaved little cog in the machine.”

"God's plan," she smirked.

"Some fuckin' plan." Johnny lit another cigarette.

V sighed in frustration, "Okay, but that still doesn't answer my question. You have to believe something, right?"

Johnny groaned, shaking his head, "I don't know, V. Probably nothin' for all I fucking know."

"Pretty bleak if that's true," she stamped out her cigarette, grinding the ash into the cold concrete rail.

"Had more important shit on my mind, anyway."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," V rolled her eyes, "your big noble quest to 'wake people up' or whatever. Turned out real great for you. Dumped in a trash pile with shit in your pants.”

“Least I died fighting for something,” Johnny snapped.

“Fighting for what, Johnny?” V snarled, her patience reaching its end. “To fix your own fuckup? To not make so much as a dent in the armor of the biggest corp on the planet?” Her fist came down hard on the railing, cracking the concrete. “I’ve seen in your head, you pretentious ass! Lie to yourself all you want, but I fucking know better.”

V’s vision flickered and pain spiked through her skull.

[RELIC MALFUNCTION DETECTED]

Her body convulsed, and she was only barely able to throw herself backwards onto the dam’s walkway. A scream ripped through her as she curled her knees to her chest. Every nerve in her body felt like it was bursting into flames all at once, and her head felt like it was forcibly being pried open with an electrified crowbar. Getting shot in the face hadn’t hurt as bad. Honestly, it was looking very ideal at the moment if it meant an end to the agony.

Just as quickly as it had started the pain began to fade, replaced with an unbearable feeling of cold- her whole body was now covered in sweat and she was left shivering in the chilly night air. V's heartbeat thundered in her ears. Her stomach churned as she was trying to settle her breathing. Half-digested Hawt Dog, NiCola, and something that tasted suspiciously like a lot of copper ejected itself onto the sidewalk. Oh, that was a lot of blood.

"Ow," V managed, rolling herself to lean against the concrete rail.

"It's gettin' worse fast," Johnny observed.

"Yeah, I can see that," V groaned as she pushed herself to her feet and spit out another glob of blood. "Thanks, Johnny."

"Look, you wanna stop biting my fuckin' head off and just tell me what all this existential bullshit is about?"

She wanted to yell again, but all of her anger had drained out with the contents of her stomach. Lighting another cigarette, she sat back down on the railing- legs on the safe side this time- and sighed. "I'm afraid, Johnny."

Johnny scoffed, "Afraid? Of what, Yorinobu? Smasher? C'mon, V, I've seen you dismantle guys damn near as big. At this point I'd be shocked if anyone could actually take you-"

"Johnny, shut up and just listen to me, you dick." V took another drag of her cigarette to steady her still shaking hand. Even with her back to it, she could feel the lights of Night City boring through her as she tried to put her thoughts into words. "I'm not afraid of Yorinobu. I'm not afraid of the oversized tin can. I damn sure ain't afraid of any of the stupid fucks who are gonna try and stop us from getting into Mikoshi." She laughed sadly, "At this point, I don't even think I'm that scared of dying."

Smoke billowed from her nostrils as she raised her head towards Johnny. "I'm afraid of you, Johnny. If this doesn't work, if Alt's plan fails? I won't just die. I'm going to disappear, and you're going to live on in my place. Shit, even if her plan does work, I'm still going to be flatlined. It will be some other 'me' who gets to come back."

A tear rolled down her cheek, but it seemed like neither of them wanted to acknowledge it. Wiping her face with her sleeve, she laughed again, mirthlessly. "I can make peace with that, though. She'll get to keep goin'. Live a long, happy life and get the fuck out of this city. Maybe she'll marry Judy. Wouldn't that be somethin'?"

"Wouldn't have pictured you as the marrying type," Johnny said.

V chuckled, wiping her face again, "Me neither. But," she brushed her hand over her pocket where the cigarette case sat, "life is short. Don't wanna lose my shot at a good thing, you know?"

Johnny was quiet for a moment before he flickered out of her sight only to reappear sitting beside her. She took his continued silence as a gentle prod to continue. "Yeah, I uh…" she sniffed, "I can live…well, you know. I can accept that, I guess. But that's only if the plan works. If it doesn't?"

V exhaled a shaky breath. "Then what? I just…fade away. It's like Vik said: one day we'll wake up and it won't be me looking at myself in the mirror. Being erased is so much worse than dying, Johnny." She was losing the fight to hold back more tears. "Maybe you’re right, maybe it’s just…nothing. But I wouldn’t get a chance to find out.”

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the distant sounds of the city. V coughed and spat what she hoped would be the last bit of blood for now. “Look,” she started while trying to pull herself to her feet, “I just…I have a request, I guess. In case shit goes south and…you know.”

“What is it?”

V wiped her face again, running her cold metal fingers down her cheeks. “I…you can do whatever you want when…if I’m not here anymore. Not like I could really stop you anyway. Ripperdoc could do a lot for you, especially a good one like Vik. Could even give ya,” she laughed and gestured down below her waist, “if you wanted. But…”

“C’mon, V, say what you need to say.” For once, Johnny sounded damn close to compassionate.

She swallowed before continuing, “Don’t change my face.” It sounded more like a question than a command. “If this doesn’t work, promise me you won’t erase the last part of me that will be left in this fucked up, stupid fucking city.”

Johnny sighed, “V, I-“

“For fuck’s sake, Johnny,” she fought through an oncoming sob, “at least you had a corpse that they could bury. What the fuck will I have?” Her exhausted, tear filled eyes met his as she smiled sadly. “You’re gonna be my tomb. Least you could do is keep it pretty for me.”

They held each other’s gaze for a few moments before Johnny chuckled, flickering in and out of her vision briefly. “V, you think anyone wants to see this mug in this city again?” he gestured to his own face. “Besides, hate to admit it but goddamn, V- the amount of pull you’ve gotten in the few months we’ve known each other? I’d be an idiot to throw away that meal ticket.”

This got a genuine laugh out of her.

“And,” he continued, “don’t think I could bring myself to do it anyway. You’re not the only one of us who doesn’t want to think of a world without you in it, whatever that ends up lookin’ like.”

“Thanks, Johnny,” she said. Finally turning back to look at the city, V took one final long drag of her cigarette. The tear tracks on her face felt cool in the night air, but she had finally managed to pull it together and resolve herself. “Alright,” she flicked her cigarette over the railing, “enough sappy shit for tonight. C’mon, we still got some shit to do before we see Hanako.”

V climbed onto the motorcycle that had once belonged to Jackie Welles, her first and best friend in Night City, and revved the engine to life. The road opened up to her as she drove back into the heart of the city. She had to believe Alt’s plan would work, but…just in case, she didn’t want to leave any unfinished business behind.

[xoxochimera]

Me as a boy in my 20s: I think I’m going to die alone, I just can’t seem to make my relationships last or connect with anyone

Me as a girl in my 30s: I just made a girl cum so hard in the front seat of my Nissan she screamed, then drove home eating curly fries and listening to the Inspector Gadget theme