Jules of Nature

Kaledo Art

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Claire Keane
cherry valley forever

oozey mess
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KIROKAZE

ellievsbear
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

JVL
Sweet Seals For You, Always

Product Placement
🪼
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
almost home
noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
Stranger Things

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@xtrordinary
doctors hate her! This woman is experiencing symptoms that might point to a health problem and wants doctors to do something about it
After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:
“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”
Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.
“Ow!”
“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”
“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”
The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.
“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”
She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.
“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”
The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.
“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.
“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”
“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”
Ahhhh, nothing quite like introducing an American to the Northern Territory’s “C U in the N T” tourism marketing campaign and watching their face engage in a slapdash performance of every emotion known to man in the span of about three seconds
This is a sample for those not familiar:
The US has something similar for Salt Lake City, Utah.
Seattle, also
you cant even begin poems with "i will sodomise and facef uck you" anymore. because of woke .
Holy fuck
recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing
btw this has graduated into me just saying "the trout population will be affected" and then not elaborating
Didn't vote in 2020? Cards Against Humanity will pay you to apologize.
This is the most chaotic good thing I’ve ever seen
Holy shit
People talk about the war on christmas as if that's a real thing but they ignore the fact that christmas decorations go up in stores well in September, before Halloween has even happened, and the Halloween sections in stores have gotten smaller and smaller in my experience too. The real war is on Halloween, and baby, we need the Skeletons to fight alongside us once more.
Every single time someone mentions police role-playing in a sexual context I think of this tinder interaction and I instantly become absolutely stricken with laughter
do not go gentle into that good night
be a bit of a bitch about it