Daniel Howell - Not Afraid Anymore (M/A)
(Yes I love this song. I hope you donāt mind that I added a little past to the character, it seemed kind of fitting. Enjoy!)
(Warnings: sexual themes, mentions of past abuse, hint of angst at the beginning.)
It had been a couple years since he had left you. Not only did he leave you lonely, but he left you scarred and fearful of receiving the same manipulation he had put you through from everyone else. It took forever for you to escape the shell he had abandoned you in, and it needed some major prodding from your close friend Daniel.
ā(Y/N) I know he hurt you, and god I still want to kill him for what he did to you, but do you know how much itās hurting me to see you like this? I need the old (Y/N) back... come on.ā For a long amount of time you were afraid of affection from men. Even fondness from Dan frightened you beyond no end, and he has been your friend since grade two.
Your ex had ruined you. You still remember the countless times he had laid his hands on your body abusively. Even though you had gotten past your initial fear of Daniel after your ex, you still flinched every time he came close to you.
It was that day, four years after the break up, that you finally decided to come out of your shell. You couldnāt find yourself letting your built up walls around your heart down, so you still denied any displays of endearment towards you, but it was a lot less fearful now. The apartment you shared with Dan and his friend Phil was a lot more light and playful when you became determined to get out of the seemingly permanent funk you were in.
Daniel had been different lately; and it wasnāt hard for you to pick up on it. He would make slightly suggestive moves on you now and again and you were okay with it mostly, knowing that he would never go too far with his advances. That was until one night he had been a little tipsy when he returned home, triggering some part of his brain that caused him to make moves on you that raised red flags in your head. You were extremely uncomfortable as he slurred his words out, the smell of alcohol rolling off of his tongue.
Despite Phil being asleep in the next room, when Dan tried to put you on his lap you squealed out and glared at Dan, tears beginning to rush down your face. You ended up locking yourself in your room, your drunk friend falling asleep outside your door after pounding on it, begging you to forgive him. You could never forget that night. That morning you stared emptily at the ceiling, almost as if it were a void. Your heart was aching after the events of last night, but you knew you needed to talk to him.
āIā¦ I canāt do that Dan. I love you so much, but I donāt think I could ever do that again after what he did to me.ā You had explained that morning, your feelings pouring out like water from a flood gate. Danās hair was standing on end as you spoke. He was devastated by what he did to you last night, and the fact that you were now in his room crying as you explained how you felt definitely didnāt help at all.
But in the end he swore that he would only love and cherish you, and not do anything you didnāt want him to. And thus arose a blooming relationship between the two of you.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ~two years later~
You were ready. It had taken you years to get over the fear, but you loved Daniel and you were ready to give him every bit of you. Your heart pounded in your chest as you sat on the bed. Daniel was on his way home, that you knew, so you were sitting on the bed staring down at the carpeted floor in only a revealing dress. You knew heās wanted this for a while, and you hoped he would be pleased with what he saw.
When the door to your bedroom opened your heart stopped. Time seemed to slow as you looked up at Dan, standing silently in the door frame. His eyes scanned you up and down and it wasnāt hard for you to become shy under his gaze. Your eyes moved to stare down at the ground once again before your face was lifted by fingers under your chin. His appendages were soft against your skin, your flesh seeming to tingle where he touched.
You reached your hands out to touch the bottom hem of his shirt, staring longingly into his eyes. You slowly began lifting his shirt, his eyes boring into your own while your fingers ghosted along his flat stomach. A small smirk adorned his features causing your heart to flutter.
Standing in the eye of the storm
He rid himself completely of his top pushing your body back softly against the bed, leaning over you. Your mind was reeling and you felt like your body was on fire as you stared up at the man you have loved for as long as you can remember. He leaned his head down to capture your lips in a warm, passionate kiss.
Dying to taste this, sick sweet warmth
Your arms timidly reached up to wrap around his neck as you kissed, your lips moving perfectly in sync.
You pushed his body against your own with your arms, one of your hands tangling in his soft brown locks. A magnetic pull brought you two even closer, heat accumulating between the two of you.
I want what you got in store.
His lips left yours, leaving you close to breathless while he kissed your jaw. His lips trailed sloppy kisses along your neck, eliciting a soft moan from within your chest when he found your sweet spot. You gasped softly as he began sucking and nibbling on that spot, surprised at how much pleasure he was already bringing you.
Iām ready to feed now, get in your seat nowā¦
His hands found your thighs when his lips left the crook of your neck. His fingers fumbled with the bottom hem of your dress, before slipping underneath the thin cloth to trail his fingers softly along your inner thighs, lifting your dress up to your waist. You shivered in delight from his touch, staring up at him in disappointment when his hands left your thighs after wrapping them around his waist. He stared up at you innocently when your hands reached up to touch his chest. You gasped in surprise when he grinded against you, groaning at the feeling of the long awaited friction.
And touch me like you never.
And push me like you never.
And touch me like you never.
Cause I am not afraid, I am not afraid anymore.
You kissed his lips softly before flipping him over, crawling off of him and standing up beside the bed. He stared at you, his eyes darkened with lust as he watched you play with the straps of your dress. You took a deep breath as you pulled the straps off all the way.
I want something so impure
You locked eyes with him again, a soft smile dominating your features. You bravely winked at him, swaying your body slowly as you worked off your dress.
You better impress now, watching my dress now fall to the floor.
You released the cloth from your fingers, staring at him as he watched the flimsy thing fall to the ground. His hands instantly reached out for your waist, pulling you on top of him, kissing the tops of your breasts while looking up at you between his lashes. One of his hands gripped at one of your ass cheeks while the other reached up to caress your neck. He pulled your head closer to his, moving slightly to whisper in your ear.
āYou look so beautiful, I canāt believe I finally get to claim you as mine.ā His voice was soft, the feeling of his hot breath against your ear made you shiver.
Crawling underneath my skin, sweet talk with a hint of sin.
A passionate kiss ensued, your lips locking sweetly with his. He flipped you over, once again hovering over you as one of his hands reached to cup your perfectly sized breasts. He kneaded softly, his mouth moving to suck gently at the other one. You arched your back slightly, astonished at the feeling.
āPlease Dan. I need you.ā A large grin overtook his features at your words, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
Begging you to take me. Devil underneath your grin.
He stood up and took off his pants and boxers simultaneously. Your eyes traveled down his chest to stare at his large member. Your mouth watered, your heart pounded, your heat wettened, you were so ready.
Sweet thing, but you play to win. Heaven gonna hate me.
You grabbed his wrist to pull him towards you, an appealing smile appearing on his face as you pulled him on top of you. Your arms and legs seemed to have a mind of their own as they both wrapped around him. His member was pressed lightly against your folds causing butterflies to erupt crazily wtihin your stomach.
āAre you ready?ā You nodded eagerly at his question, arching your back as he pushed in.
And touch me like you never.
His lips pressed hotly against your neck as he stilled himself so you could grow accustomed to his size.
His hands removed your arms from his neck to hold them above your head as he began pumping himself, his lips still moving slowly against your neck.
And touch me like you never.
You moaned loudly asking him to lift his head so you could look deeply into his eyes as he made love to you. You smiled, genuinely, for the first time in a long time.
Cause I am not afraid, I am not afraid anymoreā¦ no, no, no.
gamechangershow
stormborns
theartofmadeline
titsay
origamiaround
