Y0URFR13ND'S blog :D

Phan, Food, Bands and black clothing is my everything!

[thisdarkhomeofghosts]

My 17 year old self enjoying Bleach in 2015:

My 24 year old ass still enjoying Bleach in 2022:

[catnip-cryptidd]

You see, Perry the Platypus, when I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band,

[sunflosposts]

Rick: That's it, you're in time out. Get on top of the fridge.

Carl, climbing the fridge: This family is a fuCKING NIGHTMARE

[shadow27]

[witchofprose-deactivated2020041]

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

[untitled12573]

Reblogging for cultural enrichment

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

bout time I brought back the Laurel and Hardy flex tape-

[rocktheholygrail]

The Good Place (2016-2020)

[kendallroy-deactivated20210425]

literally cannot stop laughing at this

[woozapooza]

#and remember maryland (unhinges jaw as black smoke pours from my ears and mouth)

[porcupine-girl]

The “take place tonight” in the middle of the elder god monologue is the most ominous part.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird]

We did it. We’re finally free.

[ruinedchildhood]

[should-be-sleeping]

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

[should-be-sleeping]

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

[justprettygay]

[should-be-sleeping]

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

[isa-ghost]

If a woman has

STARCH MASKS

O N   H E R    B O D Y

does that mean

she has been pGReNant bef o r e?

[alsolucimorningstar812]

DANGEROPS

Pranget sex?

Will it hurt baby top of his head????

[isa-ghost]

Can uu get,,,

𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓰𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓮

[alsolucimorningstar812]

38+2 weeks

PREGANANANT

[charlioak]

can uu go down a

20 foot waterslide

while uu are

PEGNAT?

[lesbian-bookworm]

For anyone who doesn’t know what this is referencing

[five-flats]

this video legit never fails to make me laugh and i’ve seen it god knows how many times

[bandtshirt]

do y’all remember before direct messages tumblr had a dumbass ask limit of 10 per hour and communication was impossible until they introduced dumbass fan mail and we were basically sending telegraphs back in forth trying to communicate those were…dark times

Do y'all remember when they finally gave us direct messages and instead of doing it normally, they gave it to a few people at a time and we had to infect each other with it like a virus

[piedude]

[abandonrun]

remember when any post with more than like 6 people talking was unreadably smushed except for the last few additions remember when any post of over 500 characters became a link back to op’s blog readmore style remember when video and audio posts had about a 10% chance of working when you click play

[weirdness-is-good]

[at-the-edge-of-the-solar-system]

[writing-prompt-s]

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

[endreams-s]

Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok

[honeypressed]

Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks

[moonreflectioninthefragglepond]

A++ addition

[tetsuskitten]

Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?

Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great

[tigerliliesandcherryblossoms]

I LOVE THIS

[vmohlere]

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

[laziestofthedreamers]

I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It’d be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they’re a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it’s completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.

Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.

So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he’ll FINALLY have proof.

[pamgkrthwrites]

Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal. 

“You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.”

Serial killer breaths in. “Look-”

[ladyhavilliard]

…perfect

[outerspacekake]

I don’t like actual murder mysteries, but this is perfect

[yourpotatotwiceremooved]

THE ORIGINAL POST HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY

[serpant-of-heaven-deactivated20]

Oh my god I would watch/read the hell out of this shit

[thebootydiaries]

It's favorite not favourite

this just in: the world outside of america doesn’t exist

[thebootydiaries]

this just in: if ur not american ur british 

[criskingdom]

If you’re neither American nor British, there’s a good chance you don’t speak English either.

[thebootydiaries]

this just in: even though english is the first language of roughly 400 million people and second language of 1.6 billion people, if ur not american nor british there’s a good chance u don’t exist

[toastbutteregg]

[kingofthebouncycastle13]

The music in water levels:

[deebyfeeby]

The music in snowy levels:

[luna1350]

Don’t forget the desert levels

[batfamfucker]

Fallout 4 where everything's the same except Hancock wears this

"Of the bitches, for the bitches"