[babyanimalgifs]

I didn’t know cheetahs meow I’ve always thought they roar my whole life has been a lie

[swirlife]

Jazzma and her bae

[svgar-noire]

*faints*

[keptotherwoman]

I second it “faints”

[ebonygeisha]

[british-sugar]

Amen

[yesatlbrownsugar]

[keptotherwoman]

[rechbetch-deactivated20220314]

Spoiled Gf Tip:

Tired of Saying Mutually Beneficial?

Say you’re a traditionalist. Say you want a man to be the man in the relationship - the breadwinner, the provider.

In return you’re the loving, caring, beautiful, and all-around perfect woman. You’ll care for him, love him, and always be there. But for to you always be there, to always look beautiful, and be all-around perfect your man needs to provide for you - financially, emotionally, and of course physically (🙄🙄🙄).

Instead of demanding something mutually beneficial, demand A MAN. Watch how the tables turn when he’s forced to either comply or admit he’s not a man who’s capable…… And nothing hurts a man’s ego, pride, or manhood more 😈

[kissesdaddy-deactivated20191024]

Did you just crack the code😍

[ultrasugarlifestyle]

SUGAR BABY, SPOILED GIRLFRIEND, TROPHY WIFE BOOKS

Too Pretty to Pay Bills: Keys to Gold Digging Success: Tips on How to have the life you deserve as a woman! Style: The Modern Lady’s Guide to Elegance and Charm Ho Tactics: How to MindF**k A Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring The Art of Seduction

Solving Single: How to Get the Ring, Not the Run Around

Men Don’t Love Women Like You: The Brutal Truth About Dating, Relationships, and How to Go from Placeholder to Game Changer 

The Seduction Mystique: The Definitive Guide to Meeting, Loving and Marrying the Right Man How to Marry the Rich 

The Sugar Daddy Formula: A Sugar Baby’s Ultimate Guide to Finding a Wealthy Sugar Daddy

Sugar Daddy 101: What You Need to Know If You Want to be A Sugar Baby 

A Gold Diggers Guide

How to Meet the Rich: For Business, Friendship, or Romance

The Power of the Pussy - How To Get What You Want From Men: Love, Respect, Commitment and More!

Why Men Marry Bitches

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl—A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship 

How to Marry Money 

Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into the Romantic Dream–And How They’re Paying For It 

Smart Women Finish Rich: 9 Steps to Achieving Financial Security and Funding Your Dreams   Your Inner Fox: Unleashing the Elegance Within 

[honeysugarbeem-deactivated20130]

Sugar Baby Tip: Allowance Talk

$1k/month= $12k/yr after tax is the same value of $17k/yr before tax

$3k/month= $36k/yr after tax is the same value of  $51k/yr before tax

$5k/month= $60k/yr after tax is the same value of $ $86k/yr before tax

$10k/month= $120k/yr after tax is the same value of $171k/yr before tax

                           WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

$1K/month= SD/SM NEEDS a GROSS income of at LEAST $85k/yr

$3k/month= SD/SM NEEDS a GROSS income of at LEAST $255k/yr

$5k/month= SD/SM NEEDS a GROSS income of at LEAST $430k/yr

$10k/month= SD/SM NEEDS a GROSS income of at LEAST $855k/yr

                                 WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

Gross Income= the total amount a person makes before taxes.

So BEFORE discussing allowance ask your suitor the EXACT TITLE of their profession. You don’t have to ask for the company they work for blah, blah, blah, because then they may think you’re crazy/stalker type. Let them voluntarily release sensitive information like that or pick it up in context clues.

Once you have the title, research it. Do A LOT of research. If they bring up allowance before you have had time to research their profession, give them some bs excuse like ” I know it’s a sensitive topic, but also relative to our relationship, but for now let’s continue to get to know each other to make sure we are compatible and the allowance will follow.” It gets you brownie points and untitles you money hungry b****, even though we all are secretly. Lolz. But you know what I mean

[cherrybabe101-deactivated202004]

Just found this again! Woo! Lovely to have as a reference and guide.

[jetsetdreamgirl]

“Giving a man too much power in your mind makes him larger than life, a celebrity. The key to flirting is to not give a fuck how about you come across; erase the fear or rejection, or judgement and embrace the confidence of how you look and how you talk. Sexiness is a shield. You can’t be nervous and sexy at the same time. Embrace your brand, your seductress persona, and no man is above being seduced.”

[goddess-lair]

Truth.

[rockees-deactivated20210616]

a ferocious beast

[naamahdarling]

i will reblog these everytime i see them because she is just such a precious little ball of predatory fury

[ntlibrary]

It’s fall!  Time to reblog this little cutie!

[think-feel-it-blog]

[cutest-animals-here]

[bob-belcher]

[free-speech4sexworkers-deactiva]

SWER Media Club

MANGA & COMICS

Rent Girl by: Michelle Tea

Paying for It: a Comic Strip Memoir About Being by: Chester Brown

Sex Criminals by: Matt Fraction

PINK by: Kyoko Okazaki

Delivery Cinderella by: NON

MAGAZINES & ZINES

strip-magazine

$pread

KINDLE HOW TO’s

Ho Tactics: How to MindF**k A Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring

A Gold Digger’s Guide: How to get what you want without giving it up

Blueprint for an Escort Service

Blueprint for an Escort Service 2: Beyond the Original Blueprint

The Courtesan Handbook

The Internet Escort’s Handbook Book 1: The Foundation

The Internet Escort’s Handbook Book 2: Advertising and Marketing

How to Start an Escort Business I

How to Start an Escort Business II

How to Start an Escort Business III

Digital Sex Work: How Your Webcam, Cell Phone & Pedicure Can Make You Rich

Cam Girl 2.0: Make Boss Money at Home While Keeping Your Panties On

Start Earning Over $40 an Hour as a Webcam Model Now!

How To Succeed As A Webcam Model

Talking Dirty: Getting into the Phone Sex Industry and Staying There

Greedy: A Guide to Financial Domination

The Mistress Manual: A Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance

The Sugar Daddy Formula: A Sugar Baby’s Ultimate Guide to Finding a Wealthy Sugar Daddy

Sugar Daddy 101: What You Need to Know if You Want to be a Sugar Baby

Make Money Stripping: how to make money as an exotic dancer tonight!

Stripping: Your Guide for Making Money in a Tough Economy

The Nerdy Girl’s Guide to Stripping: A 10-Step Guide for Stripping Your Way to Success

The Pole Position: Is Stripping for You? And How to Stay Healthy Doing It

Zen And The Art of Stripping: A Very Naughty Tale

Secrets of The Lazy Stripper: The Ultimate Exotic Dancer Package Book 1

How to Make More Money in the Gentlemen’s Club: The Ultimate Exotic Dancer Package Book 2

The Successful Stripper: The Ultimate Exotic Dancer Package Book 3

Lap Dance: The Ultimate Guide to Being the Best Exotic Dancer: The Ultimate Exotic Dancer Package Book 4

FICTION

After Dark by: Haruki Murakami and Jay Rubin

Around the World in 80 Men by: Brandi Ratliff

Bitter Sweet: A Controversial Crime Thriller by: Mason N. Forbes

Black Girl in Paris by: Shay Youngblood

Changing His Game by: Justine Elvira

Dance Dance Dance by: Haruki Murakami

Escorted by: Claire Kent

Evocronik 1.0 by Jc Weatherby

Gutterboys by: Alvin Orloff

Heaven by: Kimberly Cain

I Am Not Myself These Days by: Josh Kilmer-Purcell

In Lucia’s Eyes by: Arthur Japi

In the Company of the Courtesan by: Sarah Dunant

Kushiel’s Dart by: Jacqueline Carey

Mistress of My Fate by Hallie Rubenhold

Private Dancer by Stephen Leather

Safe Houses by: Lynne Alexander

Six Moon Dance by: Sheri S. Tepper

Slammerkin by: Emma Donoghue

Southern Discomfort by: Rita Mae Brown

The Balcony by: Jean Genet

The Butterfly Trap by: Dennis Jon

The Crimson Petal and the White by: Michael Faber

The Dress Lodger by: Sheri Holman

The Gargoyle by: Andrew Davidson

The Handmaid’s Tale by: Margaret Atwood

The Past Never Ends by: Jackson Burnett

The Submission Gift by: Solace Ames x review

Tipping the Velvet by: Sarah Waters

FANFICTION

Underland by: jellyheart84

Creamsickle by: Rhiannon Argo

Harry Potter Porn Star by: Reverie Wilde

Innocent Games by: Wynja

Dating Backwards by: RemainNameless

Escort Services by: Tempest-2455

In Which Tess Hires Teen Prostitutes by: Incidental Vegan Cannibal

Personal by: Incidental Vegan Cannibal

BIOGRAPHIES

Unrepentant Whore: the Collected Works of Scarlot Harlot by: Scarlot Harlot

Cop to Call Girl: Why I Left the LAPD to Make an Honest Living as a Beverly Hills Prostitute by: Norma Jean Almodovar

Working: my Life as a Prostitute by:  Dolores French

Woman at Point Zero by: Nawal El Saadawi

Strip City by: Lily Burana

Spent by: Antonia Crane

In My Skin; a Memoir of Addiction by: Kate Holden

The Story About Me: a Hijra Life Story by: A. Revathi

Bare: the Naked Truth About Stripping by: Elisabeth Eaves

a Piece of  Cake by: Cupcake Brown

Ordeal by: Linda Lovelace

Dominatrix on Trail: Bedford vs Canada by: Terri-Jean Bedford

Conertina: the Life and Loves of a Dominatrix by: Susan Winemaker

The Mayflower Madam: the Secret Life of Sydeny Biddle Barrows by: Sydney Biddle Barrows

Madam Inside a Nevada Brothel by: Lora Shaner

How to Make Love Like a Porn Star by: Jenna Jameson

Inside Seka: The Platinum Princess of Porn by: Seka

The Best Kept Boy in the World by: Arthur Vanderbilt

Belle du Jour by: Belle du Jour

Insatiable; Porn a Love Story by: Asa Akira

Rent Girl by: Michelle Tea

The Little Black Book of Griselidis Real: Days and Nights of an Anarchist Whoreby: Jean-Luc Hennig

Naked in The Promised Land by: Lillian Faderman

The Last of the Live Nude Girls by: Sheila McClear

Indecent: How I Make it and Fake it as a Girl for Hire by: Sarah Katherine Lewis

Hos, Hookers, Call Girls and Rent Boys: Professionals Writing on Life, Love, Money and Sex

Johns, Marks, Trick and Chickenhawks: Professionals and Their Clients Writing About Each Other

SOCIOLOGY

$pread: The Best of the Magazine that Illuminated the Sex Industry and Started a Media Revolution by: Rachel Aimee

Brothel: Mustang Ranch and Its Women by: Alexa Albert

Encyclopedia of Prostitution and Sex Work by: Melissa Hope Ditmore

Flesh for Fantasy: Producing and Consuming Exotic Dance by: Merri Lisa Jhonson and Danielle Egan

Global Sex Workers: Rights, Resistance, and Redefinition by: Kamala Kempadoo and Jo Doezema

Global Woman: Nannies, Maids, and Sex Workers in the New Economy by: Barbara Ehrenreich

G-Strings and Sympathy: Strip Club Regulars and Male Desire by: Frank Katherine

Honey, Honey, Miss Thang: Being Black, Gay, and on the Streets by: Leon Pettiway

Legalizing Prostitution: From Illicit Vice to Lawful Business by: Ronald Weitzer

AIDS, Drugs and Prostitution by: Martin A. Plant

Live Sex Acts: Women Performing Erotic Labor by: Wendy Chapkis

Love For Sale: A World History of Prostitution by: Nils Johan Ringdal

Making Work, Making Trouble: The Social Regulation of Sexual Labour by: Deborah Brock

Men Who Sell Sex: International Perspectives on Male Prostitution and AIDS by: Peter Aggleton

Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads, and Cashing in on Internet Sexploration by: Audacia Ray

Negotiating Sex Work: Unintended Consequences of Policy and Activism by: Carisa R. Showden

Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work by: Melissa Gira Grant

Policing Pleasure: Sex Work, Policy, and the State in Global Perspective by: Susan Dewey

Prostitution and Feminism: Towards a Politics of Feeling by: Maggie O’Neill

Prostitution and Sex Work by: Melissa Hope Ditmore

Selling Sex: A Hidden History of Prostitution by: Raelene Frances

Selling Sex: Experience, Advocacy, and Research on Sex Work in Canada

Sex at the Margins: Migration, Labour Markets and the Rescue Industry by: Laura Maria Agustin

Sex For Sale: Prostitution, Pornography, and the Sex Industry by: Ronald Weitzer

Sex Slaves and Discourse Masters: The Construction of Trafficking by: Jo Doezema

Sex Work and Sex Workers

Sex Work Matters: Exploring Money, Power and Intimacy in the Sex Industry by: Melissa Hope Dittmore

Sex Work On The Streets by: Neil McKeganey and Marina Barnard

Sex Work Politics: From Protest to Service Provision by: Samantha Majic

Sex Work: Rethinking the Job, Respecting the Workers by: Colette Parent, Chris Bruckert and Patrice Corriveau

Sex Work: Writings By Women In The Sex Industry by: Frederique Delacoste

Sex Workers Unite: A History of the Movement from Stonewall to SlutWalk by: Malinda Chateauvert

Strip Club: Gender, Power, and Sex Work by: Kim Price Glynn and Charles Andrain

Taking the crime out of sex work: New Zealand sex workers’ fight for decriminalisation

Temporarily Yours: Intimacy, Authenticity, and the Commerce of Sex by: Elizabeth Bernstein

The Feminist Porn Book: The Politics of Producing Pleasure

The Prostitution Prism by: Gail Pheterson

The State of Sex: Tourism, Sex and Sin in the New American Heartland by: Barbara G. Bents, Crystal A. Jackson and Kathryn Hausbeck

The Story of Jane Doe: a Book About Rape by: Jane Doe

Times Square Red, Times Square Blue by: Samuel R. Delany

Trafficking and Prostitution Reconsidered: New Perspectives on Migration, Sex Work, and Human Rights

Vindication Rights Of Whores by: Gail Pheterson

Whores and Other Feminists by: Jill Nagel

Working Sex: Sex Workers Write About a Changing Industry

TELEVISION SHOWS

Masters of Sex

Deadwood

American Horror Story: Freak Show x review

Firefly

The Playboy Club

The Client List

Secret Diary of a Callgirl

Satisfaction

Hung

Dollhouse

Underbelly The Golden Mile x summary x watch season one

DOCUMENTARIES

Daddies Date Babies

9 to 5 days in porn

American Courtesans

Aroused

Bettie Page Reveals All

Client 9

Live Nude Girls Unite!

Hookers at the Point

Mutantes: Punk Porn Feminism

Paris is Burning

Screaming Queens

Whore’s Glory

Buying Sex

Stripped

Bangladesh: Brothel Justice

Meet the Fokkens

The Great Happiness Space

Scarlet Road

MOVIES

Working Girls

Leaving Las Vegas

My Akward Sexual Adventure

Chloe

Milk Money

Welcome to the Rileys

Gypsy

Showgirls

Mighty Aphrodite

Emotional Truth

Remedy

Magic Mike

Lovelace

Lost Highway

Klute

Inland Empire

The Frozen Ground

Afternoon Delight

Elles

Pretty Woman

Closer

The Best Little Whore House in Texas

Memoirs of a Geisha

Priceless

Baise Moi

Blaze

The Player’s Club

Nathalie

Lap Dance

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Student Services

The Girlfriend Experience

From the Head

The Center of the World

This Girl’s Life

The Pornographer

Flashdance

The Babysitters

Sweet Charity

Sleeping Beauty

Black Girl in Paris

Stripteaseh

Moulin Rouge!

Les Miserables non-musical and musical

Zombie Strippers

For a Good Time Call

Byzantium

Call Me: the Rise and Fall Heidi Faleiss

Dancing at the Blue Iguana

The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things

Mysterious Skin

The Machinist

The Wrestler

Sin City

Sucker Punch

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me

House of Pleasures

I Know Who Killed Me

Someone seriously needs to appreciate the effort, the days that it took for me to find and organize all this information into one place, don’t be shy show me the love.

I AM STILL LOOKING FOR FANFICTION WITH A SEX WORKER AS THE MAIN CHARACTER AS WELL AS ZINES! IF YOU HAVE KNOW OF EITHER PLEASE GIVE ME THE LINK.

[ogcomplexsugar-deactivated20180]

MONEYVIBES 🤑🤑🤑🤑

You will make money tomorrow Your pussy is BOMB You are a bad ass lady Haters be gone

LOL

MONEYVIBES 🤑🤑🤑🤑

[boarcriminal-deactivated2018052]

[pure]

anti-racist academics

[blackberryshawty]

Wow. Me.

[sauvamente]

That kkkock

[cheyennecheyenne]

same :/

[scaryyspice-deactivated20200111]

This…is so funny

[lyjerria]

who….. made this….. about me

[wwwdotamandapleeeasedotcom]

Me…..

[sensei-silvia-blog]

I feel attacked 💀

[darkcocosb-blog]

Me on a daily!😂👏🏽

[the-real-eye-to-see]

The palette of black beauty!

[darkcocosb-blog]

I want more!!!!!😩👏🏽👏🏽

[empirestatesugar-deactivated201]

How do you stay safe while being a sugar baby. That is my biggest concern.

Normally I’d just send you a link to A-Pinch-Of-Sugar-Please’s blog, buuut since she’s a psychotic bitch, I’d be happy to help you out.

BEFORE MEETING:

Invent fake facts about yourself. Create an email address specifically for sugaring and only email them there. Get the Google Voice App and create a phone number to text/call men from distinct from your own. Use a fake name for the first few dates. List the next town over as your location on your profile and never tell them the actual college that you go to — especially if it’s small! If they ask what your parents do for a living, make it up or be vague. Once you’re super comfortable with them, you can tell them “Oh my name’s actually Katherine, not Katelynn” or even give them your real phone number if you want to as I often snapchat with NASA. But he’s the only one of my SDs who knows it as Google Voice works flawlessly and the others don’t really need it. 

On an opposite note, get as many details as possible about him from him or through background searching. If he tells you he’s the CEO of Apple, go to Apple’s website and confirm that. Also, invest in a Spokeo Account. Don’t be that annoying SB who begs girls to look men up for her. A lot of girls only buy the monthly plan which has a search quota so if these girls are kindly looking men up for you, that’s less POTs they can search for themselves. I think it’s like $49.95 per year and it’s well worth the money for the amount of information it gives you. You can reverse search his phone number, email, name, etc. to find out his address, income, family members — anything! I love to find their children’s names then look them up on Facebook to see how they live. Riding horses on vacation in Santorini as your cover photo? Okay, I’ll break bread with your dad tomorrow. Little Ashley’s making duck faces and wearing Abercrombie? Sorry, John, I’m actually no longer searching for an SD — best of luck!

Get as many photos as possible (5+) from a man you’re talking to so that you can reverse search them and find out company info, criminal history, or if he’s on any other sites to cross-check age, location, and other facts on the profile you first saw him on.

Before a first meet, Skype with him (for 5 to 30 minutes) to again make sure the photos he sent are of him and not some handsome model on JCrew’s website (guys on SD4M do this all the time — you’re not slick)! While you don’t want the skype date to replace the first date, it is a good way to keep and/or build up his interest and by revealing yourself in 3D and decreasing his chances of cancelling/flaking on you. New SDs in particular often get nervous by the whole process, especially if they’re married, so if he sees “Wow! She’s gorgeous/real/funny/witty/ and excited to see me Thursday!” he’ll be more at ease not only to go through with the meet, but to spend more chedda. Moreover, a Skype date can show you “Wow! He’s an asshole and begging me to slide the camera down to my boobs.” So you can know way before you spend hours on hair and make-up that the date will be a waste.

NON RED-FLAGS:

Need for discretion. If a man doesn’t tell you much about himself, his job, or his life, is using a GV number or a fake email, is going by a fake name, it does not matter at all. 9 times out of 10 I show up to POT dates knowing the results of their latest colonoscopy while they think I don’t even know their name. Focus on the steps above and let them think they’re slicker than you. Nigerian Prince never told me his real name. I knew it from 5 seconds after he emailed me, but I played along and feigned ignorance because I knew he was safe and rich and whatever other secrets he kept from me were irrelevant. After our first date, he revealed his real career, location, (still not his real name) etc. and I’d already known it all, but, like us, he was simply wary of giving too much info to the wrong person. My favorite is when a guy emails you from his real email using a fake name. “Inbox: New Email from Steve Jobs” “Hey it’s Mike!” lmfao Hey Mike! Whatever makes you comfortable enough to meet me for dinner and pay me. All this being said, sometimes a man’s “need for discretion” makes it fucking impossible to find out anything from him. In that case, I say “While I respect your need for discretion, it does not trump my need for safety and I would not feel comfortable meeting you for dinner without…(at least a skype date)(as many photos as I’ve sent you)(information about XYZ)(etc.).” If he refuses to accommodate, he’s blatantly disrespectful of your safety concerns and he’s not worth your time.

RED-FLAGS:

Asks for sexy photos. You really need to make sure your profile photos are serve their purpose and depict what you look like from head to toe. If you only include iPhoto face shots, that’s dandy but you need a full body shot of you in a cute outfit and I also always include a bikini shot. Nothing raunchy, just a fun day at the beach. If they’re asking for sexy photos and you already have full body shots on your profile, then kindly end it because they’re 12 year old horn dogs stuck in 45 year old bodies. But if your photos suck and they just want to confirm that you’re not Shrek, then you need to amp up your profile and oblige.

Asks your favorite position, kinkiest moment, sex history, what you’re into etc. There’s no space for immature, tacky, desperate rapid fire sex questions in the sugar bowl. At its core, sugaring is about companionship, chemistry, and fun times. If he needs a rap sheet of what you will and will not do in the bed room, then he should call up a pimp and ask for a very specific hooker. Even if you tell him this and he apologizes and stops, you still know that that’s his main incentive for joining this site so he’s probably looking for pay for play but has too much pride to admit to wanting a prostitute. If you’re fine with 4 hours a month with this man for however much you agree on, then boom! You just landed on easy money. But if you’re looking strictly for a sugar arrangement with outings, dinners, etc. then you need to move on. But be mindful that a lot of these men might be into BDSM, so if they ask specifically if you have interest in that then that’s not necessarily a red flag so much as them not wanting to waste either of your time. If you do say yes, however, and he presses you with sex questions, he’s equally guilty of the above offense.

Sleezy username/bad grammar. If “Hotsex69” messages you, you already know what he’s there for. He’s not a sugar daddy. He’s blatantly looking for pay for play.

Takes offense to your precautions. A lot of men will quickly realize that you both have iPhones and that your messages aren’t coming up blue. If he questions it, let him know straight up, “I’m using an app called Google Voice so that I don’t have to share my real phone number with strangers. Once I’m comfortable enough with you, I will give you my real number and you can reach me there.” 99% of guys completely get it and think “Damn, I wish I’d thought of that. She’s smart and safe and not full of shit! I can tell a lot of guys have wasted her time and I don’t want to be one, so I better step it up if I ever want the honor of using iMessage with this hottie!” The other 1% will cry like little bitches and be like “We’ve hit it off thus far! Don’t you trust me?!?” If he honestly thinks trust can be fostered after a few email messages, he’ll be equally pissy when you don’t have sex on the first date or when you reject his marriage proposal on the second date.

Insists on meeting for just drinks. 10:00pm drinks at the hotel bar so you can get drunk and then go upstairs? Um no. In a fun way, tell him you’d rather meet for dinner at this great restaurant you’re dying to try yada yada. I had this one guy come back at me with “How about we start with drinks and if we hit it off, then we can get dinner?” Lmfao why?! I literally see no incentive to that besides wanting to roofie me. If you’re that awkward and can’t be around a younger, more attractive woman without drinking then let’s drink at dinner. Have 10 glasses of wine with your food. I don’t care. But if I’m getting dolled up, I’m eating food. You are not skimping out on buying me dinner and you are not roofie-ing me and you are not getting me drunk so you can drag me back to your lair. I do too much damn cardio to drink my calories. Buy me dinner, you fuck.

MEETING:

Meet in a public place and STAY in a public place. Stroll in Central Park? Awesome! He wants to wander past the “DO NOT ENTER” sign and show you this ‘amazing view of the river’? Nope. Restaurants, coffee, theater — doesn’t matter as long as you’re surrounded by witnesses.

Have your own transportation to AND from a first meet. And from. And. From. AND FROM!!! Not “Oh I took a taxi here, but let me save $10 and go home with him — he was so funny and obviously legitimate!” Even if that’s true and he’s a sweetie and who he says he is, these men never need to know where you live. (Notice I did not say never should know. Doctor knows where I live and that’s fine. But he doesn’t need to.) If you ultimately decide you’re comfortable with having an SD over at your apartment, then that will come after several dates, not the first. Plus, the chase is half the fun for him. Don’t reveal all of yourself too quickly. For this same reason, never get into his car on the first date. Besides just safety reasons, you don’t want him to feel like (physically and mentally) that he has you 100%. Leave something to be desired.

Tell someone where you are and who you’re going with. If you’re close with a friend or relative who is non-judgmental, make sure they know where your date is and when you’ll be back. Otherwise, find a resource on here (I’ll gladly help you out)and text them (from your GV number) where you are going, when you get there, when you leave, and when you are home. Whenever I get in an SDs car for the first time, I always text my sugar friends his license number.

Some SBs insist on staying sober. I like to drink and I can handle it, so I do. But definitely don’t get drunk. It’s sloppy and unattractive but will also distract you from your goal of setting an allowance/arrangement in place and getting to know this man better. Plus, it will impair your judgment and prevent you from remembering the rest of these safety tips.

NON-RED FLAGS:

Doesn’t bring a gift or cash to the first date. Stop being so entitled. At this point, he owes you just as much as you owe him — nothing.

The car he drives. The $3000 allowance of a man who drives an Aston Martin is just as green as that of the man who drives a Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Offers you a ride there or back. He might genuinely want to save you the hassle of travelling. Most of these men are fathers and have that protective instinct. It’s 9pm, dark out, she’s waiting for a cab, this is nonsense, I’ll drive her. It’s not a redflag that he’s trying to be a gentleman, but either way, maintain your stance and politely decline.

Awkward behavior. Steve Jobs gave brilliant speeches, but outside of that, the dude was awkward as fuck. Nonetheless, he was richer than God. If a guy reaches to hold your hand on the first date and you don’t want him to, just say, “John, I’m having an absolute blast but I’m just not comfortable with that yet.” There’s no need to flip out and write a post saying OMG THIS GUY WAS SO CREEPY HE LIKE TRIED TO RAPE ME BLACKLIST!!!!! Doctor is the most awkward guy I’ve ever met in my entire life. Like him, many of these POTs were valedictorians of Harvard who went on to spend the next 8-12 years of their lives accumulating degrees in the dungeons of the Ivy Leagues. They lack sunlight and social skills. It’s okay. That doesn’t mean be wishy-washy when he tries to cop a feel. No. Be firm and put him in his place. If he makes you excessively uncomfortable, end the date and don’t pursue another. But if he stutters or can’t maintain eye contact or holds eye contact for too long or snorts or recites how beautiful you are or has a creepy smile, that doesn’t necessarily make him a potential serial killer.

RED FLAGS:

Talks about hotel time, private time, intimate time, ‘getting away’. There will be no sex on the first date. There will be no sex on the first date. There will be NO SEX on the first date. If he thinks dinner and a few hundred dollars gets you two “alone time” at the Ritz Carlton, then send him packing. Be blunt and embarrass that loser. Literally say, “John, I’ve had a blast getting to know you thus far but I have zero interest in trading sex for lobster and a gas money. I’m a lady who is looking for a gentleman with the means to provide for her and support her. If you’re only interested in sex in exchange for money, then you’re looking for an escort, not a sugar baby, and a second date would be a waste of both of our time.” Scare the shit out of him and make him realize just how crass and pathetic he’s being. You wear the pants. He’ll straighten up very quickly, or realize that you’re right and head down to the corner of main street instead.

Cringes at the bill or what you’re ordering. If he can’t afford lobster, desert, or how many drinks you’re getting, he can’t afford you. This is an absolute no brainer. Even if he says he can afford your $3000 monthly allowance, if it means he’s going without food, laundry, or anything else just to afford it for you now, there WILL come a later when he leaves you hanging. A real SD loves to treat you and doesn’t care if you buy the bar!

Switches stories. It’s one thing from initially stating he’s in finance to getting more specific about which sector or region he works in, but if yesterday he was CEO of Apple and today he’s a professor, he’s probably full of shit. Don’t be afraid to call him out on it. “I thought you said —-?” Learn the dynamics of body language and be able to discern when someone is lying or hiding key information from you. He could very well be the manager of the local K-Mart hoping to spend as many free dates with you as possible before you catch him in his lie.

Insists on anything. If he’s choosing your meal for you, forcing you to ride home with him, or backing you into a corner in any way, ditch him. If he’s that pushy on the first date, he’ll be even more pushy on the second or on the third because you let him win this time.

DATING:

Use a condom.

If you don’t use a condom, get tested regularly together and show each other the results.

RED FLAG 

Doesn’t meet allowance. If he owes you $500 per meet and misses a meet, he needs to bring it to the next meet, or else he’s breaking the terms of the arrangement. If it’s the end of the month and he shows up without allowance, he needs to send it to you/bring it to the next meet, or else he’s breaking the terms of the arrangement. Do not let him get comfortable and think of you as a friend or girlfriend. This is a SUGAR ARRANGEMENT. Do not let him treat you like something that you’re not and get sloppy with the reason why we’re here.

Wants to meet your family. Doctor still insists on introducing me to his sisters. Eck. Whatever. But he’s never meeting any of my family. I am not your girlfriend. This is not a relationship. We have no real future together. Read this haiku. It is the anthem of the bowl.

Insists on not using a condom, trying XYZ in bed that makes you uncomfortable. As always, don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with and let them know. A real SD will put his desires aside for your safety and comcort. If he’s being pushy in bed or otherwise, he’s not there for your best interest.

NON-RED FLAG

Asks about your personal life. It’s not weird for a man to want to know what classes you’re taking or what’s new in your world. He’s not being creepy or nosy, he’s just curious about what makes you tick. He shouldn’t be prying into if you have a boyfriend or anything super specific, but don’t get weirded out if he asks a lot of things about you.

Asks for sexy pics or texts suggestively. After you’re intimate together, this really is fair game to ask. As always, you need not oblige, and if you do, play it safe and don’t include your face or use SnapChat. But just because he’s thinking of sex more doesn’t mean he’s still not invested in being a sugar daddy. If it makes you uncomfortable, say so. If he’s a true SD, he’ll respect your boundaries and get over it.

Is affectionate in public. Just because he likes to hold your hand and kiss you, doesn’t mean he’s thinking of you as a girlfriend and less of an SD and forgetting your arrangement. If PDA makes you uncomfortable and you need a bit more discretion, let him know. But just because he likes your soft skin doesn’t mean he’s going to propose and leave your arrangement in the dust. He might just like your soft skin.

Hates shopping. Not surprisingly, a lot of men hate shopping, especially for women or with women or in women’s stores. So just because he’s not buying you louboutins doesn’t mean he won’t give you the money to buy them yourself. 

IF YOU REMEMBER NOTHING ELSE, REMEMBER THIS:

Your token line is: “I’m not comfortable with that (yet).” Don’t be wishy-washy! If he wants to have sex and you lie and say “Oh uh I’m on my period” he’ll just ask again the next time. Instead, be honest and be firm saying you’re not comfortable with sex, riding in his car, his hand on your leg, meeting his mom, etc. etc. etc. Drop this line WHENEVER you need to say no. It sets the tone that you are the one who sets the boundaries of the relationship and that those boundaries will not be crossed. If a man ever persists against something you’ve blatantly stated makes you uncomfortable, then you know it’s time to end things.

Never let the prospect of money trump the prospect of danger.

[darkcocosb-blog]

Great post. But Steve Jobbs is never richer than God.

[irisdoesmagic]

Days of the Week and Witchcraft ✨

A good way to plan when to do your spells

Sunday - The Sun - Solar power, success, personal empowerment, material wealth, health, beginning anew. 

Monday - The Moon - Lunar power, purity, spiritual cleansing, astral work, divination, psychic ability.

Tuesday - Mars - Physical power, passion, sexuality, drive, ambition, achievement, masculine power, activate protective talismans, reverse hexes and psychic attacks.

Wednesday - Mercury - Knowledge, money, communication, the arts, change, acceptance, adaptability.

Thursday - Jupiter - Luck, growth, fulfillment, worldly power, justice, authority, health, and prosperity. (Mercury brings quick cash, but Jupiter governs the long term accumulation and preservation of wealth.)

Friday - Venus - Fertility, love, money, prosperity, healing, charm, goodness, blocking, glamour, self-care, feminine power.

Saturday - Saturn - Binding, banishing, stopping, ending, loss, renewing, transforming, protection.

— Just a thing from my grimoire