Maximum Defenstration!

[despazito]

[upandoutcomic]

Wait wait don't help me I'll figure it out eventually, just gimme more time to study

[henycavil]

BRIDESMAIDS (2011)

Dir. Paul Feig

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Bro why do you keep insisting we try to disarm this genderbending trap? We literally mapped out this whole dungeon floor we can just walk around it...

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Whoa watch it bud! If I hadn't caught you you would have fallen straight into that pit of tentacles! Good thing I stopped you when I did, huh?

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Oh man if I was just a few minutes late that vampire baroness would have hypnotized you and made you her thrall, good thing you can always count on me, ey? Cmon let's get going, the next round's on you

[fleshadept]

[thetragicallynerdy]

[ID: a reaction gif of a woman making an increasingly angry face as she starts shaking in rage, and then starts to destroy a room. End ID.]

[nonaferatu]

This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:

If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.

This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace

[nonaferatu]

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.

[roshi-the-master-hand]

[southernstoner420]

Bitch just pulled a bazooka out of her titties like it was nothing.

[woodmeat]

she from chicago

[saintd0nna]

happy pride to him

[trollrider1111]

Gay broke sober king 🤴

[7dmom]

Your uncle was hunted by puppets that is crazy I actually had two uncles who got hunted by puppets and they got hunted without any smoked meats or puppet knives to defend themselves so I basically know what you're talking about but even better when you think about it and I come from a proud lineage of puppet huntlets but yeah I totally get what you are saying even if you say it less beautifully than I me

[iraffiruse]

[tim-official]

see every time i see this status i get angry because i’ve played through literally every scenario in rct1 and there is no place where this is a thing. there is never more than one park per map. and in rct2 you can’t make that happen i the scenario editor either. it is not remotely within the game’s functionality to simulate two discrete parks and these games were coded in assembly for christ sake so it’s not like someone modded it in by adding the line “int const TOTAL_NUM_POSSIBLE_PARKS = 2;”. there is no conceivable way this post is anything close to true and even though i know how writing all this out reflects upon me as a person and even though i know exactly how meaningless and trifling of a takedown attempt this is on some random facebook screencap with hundreds of thousands of notes im going to post it anyway because i’m too petty to have any say in the matter

[iapislazuli]

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

[iapislazuli]

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

[chandra-telescope]

hope is a skill

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

hope is a weapon you are trained to wield

[mrhealyourgirl]

happy pride to losers who get no bitches and stack no paper

[toskarin]

why didn't they just leave pompeii when the volcano erupted? were they stupid?

[foone]

Fun fact: they did leave Pompeii! It's estimated that the population pre-eruption was something like 20,000, and the most likely number of dead in is in the range of 1,500-4,000. So most people just did leave Pompeii, it's just that not everyone left or could leave.

[fuckinnear]

[toskarin]

I'd have still left. the human body is capable of wonderful things in the face of danger

[crowteeth]

A lot of people died in the boats tho:/

[toskarin]

I would have paddled away quickly

[toskarin]

I take pretty hot baths so I think I'd be able to last a little longer than the average person

[demonicseries]

The scariest thing about pyroclastic flow is that if you can see it, no matter how far away it is, there is no possible way of surviving

[toskarin]

I've done incredible things. I think you'd be surprised.

[toskarin]

I know a lot about the volcano. they could learn much from me.

[slurpygunch]

you should teach them

[toskarin]

I will.

[toskarin]

everyone who has ever died from anything is an idiot. I wouldn't have done that.

[toskarin]

perhaps this could be chalked up to poor diet? I don't think explosions alone can do that.

[at-the-sign-of-the-fox-n-phoenix]

their brains became AEROSOLS IN THEIR SKULLS.

[toskarin]

what?? no

[at-the-sign-of-the-fox-n-phoenix]

correction, some of their brain cells turned to glass, unless you want to bitch about the Smithsonian's knowledge base. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/mount-vesuvius-turned-mans-brain-cells-glass-180976073/

[toskarin]

that just doesn't sound correct. they should verify this information

[pink-thing-enjoyer]

How about if instead of encouraging them we instead CHALLENGE them to survive a fictional catastrophe

Like there's no way this bozo is surviving the fires of ibis

[toskarin]

not only could I survive that, but I could do it a second time

[toskarin]

I mean they were pretty stupid for staying at a volcano during an eruption. the volcano is the most dangerous place to be, in that sort of scenario

[for-the-urizen]

What you seem to not understand is that when volcanoes erupt the way Mount Vesuvius did, your survival is dependant on whether or not you're close enough to a ship when it happens. It doesn't matter how smart you are, your IQ cannot outrun a catastrophic volcanic eruption. If you're going to criticize them for anything, it should be their decision to settle near an active volcano in the first place.

[toskarin]

as was previously established, my large IQ can outrun many things, so I do not imagine a volcano would be that much more difficult

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: 't t t a t ca t? t t? act: t a ! t' tat tat t at -t a tg ,, a t t a t ag ,-,. t t a , t' t tat t t c a. ' a t t. t a caa tg t ac ag A t t at t:/ a a aa c ta tt t at t ' a t at a tt g ta t aag T cat tg at catc tat ca t, att a aa t , t a g ' c tg. t ' . a t at t ca. t c a c . tac t . a atg a t. 't a tat. a t c ca t t? 't t a ca tat. t a ca A T . at?? cct, t a c t t ga, at t tc at t ta' g a. tt://.taag.c/at-/t--t-a-a-c-ga-/ tat t 't cct. t t at at ta cagg t ta CAG t t a cta catat t' a t g t t c tat, t c t a c t a t tt t tag at a ca g a t. t ca t t ag ac t , tat t ca at t t ta tat ca t t a t , a at t t ' c g t a t a. t 't att at a, cat t a catatc cac t. ' gg t ctc t atg, t t c t tt a a act ca t t ac. a a ta, ag ca t a tg, t ag a ca tat c ct

Closest match: Tinea pellionella genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Case-bearing clothes moth

(image source)

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay, ill reblog that

[turtlefordestiel]

Question/gen if you jumped in the ocean and stayed under for a while could you possibly survive?

[toskarin]

you don't need need to do all that. you will find the solution is much simpler

[olyrik]

Please, share your wisdom, what is the simple solution!

[toskarin]

you just leave

[sonicfrontiers]

thinking about that time my friend and i were browsing random discord servers and we found one that was a bunch of people that believed in the rapture so we joined to see what was going on and they had a bot that sent auto generated images with your nickname for every new person so when my friend joined this image immediately sent

[starofhisheart]

Happy pride to those 5 seconds where Charlie Swan thought Jacob was coming out to him in the most insane way possible

[spiritbladed]

something something extremely sexy when magic users resort to physical violence. yeah i have the power of god and anime on my side but i also have THESE HANDS. i cast Punch You In The Face. i take my magic staff through which i channel the vast energies of the elements and the cosmos and i cast Severe Concussion And Skull Fracture. casting time for xenoglossy too long, chose the quicker route of Stab You In The Throat.

[janearts]

Agatha Christie’s poem from And Then There Were None adapted for Dragon Age II.