My Rewind button On Life Is Broke

@TonyWhiteMM

[ydoifeelsoalone]

Source: NBC 5 Dallas-Fort Worth https://share.google/l24nfaSBu5BJOw9JV

Watch ‘At the Pan-African Connection'

Watch ‘At the Pan-African Connection’

[eonblueinmay]

Watching the process of this absolutely stunning painting makes it even more beautiful.

The artist is Sydney Swisher

[daughterofscotland]

Fuck me

[ydoifeelsoalone]

Maaan I gotta make this Asota7 shit respectable, known, and valuable for the community...and selfishly, I want it for me too! To look up and say I really did it.

And as I write that I’m starting to think there’s nothing too selfish about it really🤔 cause those were my sacrifices! my blood, sweat, and tears.. I’m the one who dealt with that pain, loneliness, and fear. Life made me earn it, so I’ll deserve to.

I feel like every year im getting more and more clarity on the “how” of making my first sentence a reality. That feeling I’ve had of doing something real, worthy, and long-lasting has been one of the main causes of my joy and misery.. It’s been around for as long as I can remember. Even when the vision was 20/200 I always knew I had to do SOMETHING, to be SOMETHING. And If I’m lucky enough to get another 365 opportunities to try.. I’ll be there.

-RLTW, 01-04-26

[ydoifeelsoalone]

Kutom

Been feeling aimless lately—Well, with everything in my life that isn’t “Work”.

It may be the classic battle between heart and mind, but.. I can’t tell who is who. All I know is that one of them is trying to make the case that this aimless feeling is a bad thing, and I respect their point of view..

I’m one of those people who were accustomed to a life of chaos, but now lean more towards intentional order because it saved them. I try to be careful with how much I lean though..

my aim is always this midpoint between chaos and order— I call it Kutom(Ku-tom) And at Kutom is where everything I know forsure, and everything I could never figure out, meet up. it takes a level of consistent practice, patience, and a belief in both sides to be accommodated in the area.. but that aint always easy.

So that’s why I respect the internal fight, because I don’t do too well as a full-time wanderer..

but maybe this aimless feeling towards “everything else” is just the price I have to pay for a clearer vision 🤔 because honestly, back when I could only feel deeply these things that I’m able to do today, I felt so incomplete. I could feel a future, and at times get glimpses of it, only to wake up day after day for decades and that not be my reality. It took a toll on my spirit— And I’m not in any way trying to frame this as if I’ve arrived, or everything has come full circle. There are still so many things that are blurry and out of reach right now, but at least I can look back at some point in my life and see the proof in staying true.

I got slightly off track, but anyway..Maybe it’s not the battle between heart and mind, maybe it’s a natural tension for the one who is serious about trying to honor both their ambition and their humanity. “Everything else” has kept me alive while I was in search for clarity. So maybe it’s time I keep improving upon the clarity, in order to keep everything else alive?

-RLTW, 08-22-25

[ydoifeelsoalone]

Just stumbled by a Mark Twain quote that I’m assuming is very popular.

and only time will tell, but..

I think last year I might’ve found mine.

[ydoifeelsoalone]

Ezeiza

Pain demanded the attention. Confusion left me with the same two choices. My past reminded me that the solution isn’t in the perspectives of those I love…

I’m sitting here at the airport wondering how certain humans were able to survive, before we were able to express ourselves through writing 🤔… Those certain type of humans who rarely had it work in their favor when they chose to share their deepest fears, their biggest problems, and what worries them most. How did they deal with the constant disappointment of people?

Because to be honest, this spiral notebook is the only reason I haven’t spiraled out of control. It is the tool that’s allowed me to make plain out of the complex. It is the tool that has allowed me to deal with the external problems of life, Internally.

Are my attempts to connect showing me that it’s best to stay separated?

- RLTW, 07-09-24

[ydoifeelsoalone]

“Why Asota?”

I’m a servant of the creator, but through the expression of the Arts. When an idea comes to me and i find it interesting, I begin do a bit more thinking about it, and then research, etc… if I come to a conclusion that I want to real-life this idea/vision, i am now a servant to whatever the idea needs from me. I am the hands, i am the physical body that helps the idea express itself.

So when i get the thought “maybe I should try this, add this, or do that” it doesn’t come from me. That is my partner, who has chosen me because of my interests, or maybe because what has happened in my life allows for me to notice them.

What is me though, is the decision to continue to sit down at the computer and edit, write, or plan out these things that come to mind. Regardless of what else is going on in my Life. Even when the ideas aren’t connecting well, I still feel this cool ass teamwork feeling as if we’re building towards something. It’s like the more i place myself in positions to do the manual labor, the more that creative source is allowed to visit me and work out the kinks.

I don’t know if my partner is a child of the all-knowing, and getting better as they go, or if the all-knowing is carefully taking me through the process of learning how to real-life a vision. Either way, I will be loyal.

- RLTW, 07-13-23

[esqueletosgays]

THE FACULTY (1998)

Director: Robert Rodriguez Cinematography: Enrique Chediak

[drapedinink]

[ydoifeelsoalone]

[ydoifeelsoalone]

[ydoifeelsoalone]

[ydoifeelsoalone]

[multisenso21]

[blvkvholic]

[el-latino-duro]

This blog has chosen to interrupt its normal content to bring you…

THE BLACK FOUNDING FATHERS

That is all…

[juiceboxxxchronicles]

🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎

[warrmack]

👊🏾💪🏾✊🏾

[ydoifeelsoalone]

RLTW | 10/10/21 📝

I’m going through a growing phase and it’s been getting the best of me. I gotta simplify the complex or I’ll always feel this anxiety. The load gets hard to carry because I want more from my personal life, and on top of that, the natural fatigue and laziness set in. I’m usually on my shit, but some days, and even weeks, I lose the fight to real life — the wants, needs, and feelings of my personal life. That often makes me feel like progress is lost, and it takes a day or two to reset. A part of me wants to cry out for help at times, but I’ve been there before, I know the man in the mirror is my only savior. I am getting better about my stress levels though.

I have to win the battle against my mind. I have to be stronger than my feelings. Let’s get back to the basics, Tony: Game-plan & Execute. I ask myself the night before “what would make tomorrow productive and good?” I write it out, I prioritize, and then give it a go. That’s when I’m at my best.

[remanence-of-love]