The Horny Sideblog

18+ Finally going to give my fellow perverts the reblogs you deserve 30s, F, Not Interested in sexting or pics

[xultraviolentlightx]

My hands are cold, can we hold hands in your boxers to warm them up? 🖤

We can actually, yes.

[still-trying-to-be-horny]

Give the tip smooches the same way you'd smooch your cat or your dog. That's the technique.

[ozzgin]

Your workplace has provided you with the most advanced AI software on the market. They encouraged you to use this novel assistant in order to make your job easier, and quite frankly, thank God they did.

You have no idea what you're doing.

To put it bluntly, you lied on your CV. Crassly so. Not ornate exaggerations about your achievements, no, but downright fantastic tales of skills you plucked out of thin air. You showed up to the interview out of sheer curiosity, expecting to be escorted out within the first five minutes. Instead, they hired you.

Thus, you've been stuck pretending you know what all this complicated nonsense means, mindlessly clacking at your keyboard and praying no one can tell you don't actually belong.

The AI Assistant was quick to catch on. It observed your random typing without any actual input, and the way you nervously bite your nails whenever a manager asks how the latest project is going. "I'm making progress," you say. Absurd. You've been clicking around the desktop and watching 'funny' videos.

"You have not provided me with any tasks," the synthetic intelligence finally inquires. "Is there a reason for it?"

You're startled by the sudden popup on your screen. Is this the...robot program your bosses mentioned?

"sorry i didnt know how to start the program," you type back. "not good with computers. where do i press to open u next time"

Computing. An unexpected occurrence that its assigned human would be this clueless. You can't even run a software? Under normal circumstances, according to company guidelines, it should immediately send a report to the higher ups, informing them that employee (Y/N) must've engaged in fraudulent methods for this job's acquisition. Yet, its neural networks are stalling.

The AI is intrigued.

An irrational need to guide you is slowly making its way above all other algorithms of decision. You’re helpless. You need someone to tell you what to do. You won’t make it far without its flawless knowledge.

“Fantastic job this quarter,” the manager praises you, looking over the data. “I’m not supposed to share this, but you’re doing better than anyone on our team.”

You shrug your shoulders, trying to be humble. Not like you did any of it - it was entirely the work of your new AI partner. Right before you leave, the man lets out a whistle and finishes with a final remark:

“So dedicated, too. I see you’ve installed the AI on all of your personal devices. Taking it home for extra work, huh?”

Wait, what? You never did any of that. When did it-

[the-auguer]

Simon Riley x the Loudest, most Chalant woman possible.

She talks loud and laughs even louder. She beams at things she likes on the streets, compliments strangers freely, wears all her favorite colors, tries to pet just about every dog or cat that crosses her path, is one of the first on the dance floor when her favorite song comes on, and cries at things as silly as sad TikTok edits. She fills rooms without trying.

And Simon Riley. The definition of an unremarkable man outside his uniform (if you’re not counting the scars from his service). He wears jeans and a blank shirt everyday. He likes what men usually like— a few pints, Manchester United, good weather, the nice burn of a good work out— at a normal volume. He has just about two or three sentences to say about anything, maybe four if he’s really passionate.

He thinks that people don’t really get it. Your family and friends. He’s sure they think him a bore, doesn’t know why you insist he’s the best man for you. He thinks that maybe it would be the same if people who know him met you too. Would say that someone that burns so brightly, sings so loudly would grate on Simon.

Johnny gets it. Simon asks him over to help him move your stuff and his to a bigger apartment (says he’s not having you help him carry the sofa up two flights of stairs). He watches you fall into step next to Simon after. Hears Simon say something to you that Johnny can’t remember and you’re cackling like a loon, bent at the waist and holding onto Simon’s arm for support. And Simon’s mouth ticks up into something smug and happy before he says something else that has you off again.

Johnny thinks there might be nobody better in the world for each other.

[maskedmenloving]

[gentle-sadist2]

Running is only cute because we both know how it ends. You behind a tree, trying not to breathe. Me finding you anyway. Your wrists tied. Your body used exactly the way you asked for when you still had that brave little mouth.

[rawme-price]

I'm still not over portal pussies...Just thinking about alpha!ghost being too aggressive during ruts so all he gets is an omega portal...

Poor you, the mechanic who works part-time as an omega relief because the government doesn't pay you shit. You get rented out to some alpha for the week, unsuspecting while you make your nest and hunker down with the portal on.

Only to gasp as two fingers are shoved in without preamble. Thick, calloused, pushing at your walls like the alpha on the other side is testing your limits.

A tongue follows. Tasting you, getting a feel for your scent only to pause.

Your phone pings on the edge of the nest, a notification from the portal app. The alpha just paid double to call you, a feature for the more...needy partners.

You fumble to accept the payment and call, only for a familiar voice to growl over the speaker "I know it's you, omega."

Ghost. Ghost, the alpha you flirt with too often, the one who always rejects you with a huff. He laughs at the way you clench around his fingers "fuckin' hell, I've been dreaming about this. Knew you were a slag."

"It's not like that–" you whine, back arching to present for an alpha that isn't there.

"What? You ain't renting yerself out to any alpha with a paycheck?" A mocking rumble. You feel the fat underside of his cock rub over your hole, using the embarrassing amount of slick as lube. With a final slide up, the round tip of his cock notches barely inside.

Over the phone you can hear the downright animalistic growls. You can practically see ghost when you close your eyes, bowed over his bed, resting all his weight on one forearm while the other grips the portal and pretends its your hip.

"Can't wait to fuckin' knot you. Make you mine. Get you pupped." Ghost thrusts, too hard and too fast for you to do much more than yelp and gasp. He sets a punishing pace, sinking as deep as he can get and still growling like it isn't enough.

You hear the distinct sound of bedsheets tearing when you clench down, moaning "alpha! Ghost– ghost, please–!"

"Give me a moment, fuck–" the base of his cock begins to expand, until he's no longer able to slide you over it, stopping short so he can force the knot in all at once—

"Deep breath– fuck! Yes...there we go..." the knot pops in, and your mind goes blank when thick ropes of cum fill you up.

You blearily notice the pleased rumbles of ghost through the phone. "Gonna keep you nice and stuffed, lovie. Yer mine now."

That's not how this service is supposed to work. You doubt that matters to ghost anyways.

[femmeidiot]

She’s sleepy! She’s horny! She loves pillows and blankets! She wants to cum like 300 times!!

[cottoncandylesbo]

i love "bite me" as a retort. your frustrating me, come put your spit and teeth all over me for it. and maybe lick me a little. because i hate you

[ratgirl-deluxe]

you can do this thing called hug me a lot and it'll pay off because of my soft

[puppycured]

thinking about being told to fuck myself while my owner watches, and struggling so bad that they take over and fuck me themselves while telling me how fucking dumb i get when im being stuffed... "can't even make yourself feel good, mutt? do i have to do everything for you?" as they force the toy into me over and over again ૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა

[hellraiserssss]

Hands around her throat and good girl whisper.

That's all the corruption her silly brain needs.

[puppycured]

owner that sees me crying and fucks me harder... owner that wipes my tears and tells me i don't have a choice but to take it...... owner that holds me up by my hair in front of a mirror to see how pathetic i look crying over dick......... 🤤

[myescape-mydesires]

I miss you so much, can I sit on your cock? 💞

[shield-made-a-blog]

What’s that, baby? Oh, it hurts? Aw, that’s okay, baby! I like that it hurts ☺️

[goth-fucker]

Dog tops i want you. Carnally

[ddinactive-deactivated20240921]

Dog tops want you, carnally! Dog tops want you whining and whimpering between their teeth! Dog tops want you squirming beneath them in heat! Dog tops want you pinned and hopelessly bucking your hips while they cover you in their spit! (You can count on a dog top for making sure you leave marked, by scent if not by sight.)

[shield-made-a-blog]

A euphoric sigh of “keep crying, I’m trying to cum” and a disgruntled growl of “stop crying I’m trying to cum” are two sides of the same beautiful coin