Cogito

the world's debris in your back seat

[theblackestofsuns]

How To Draw A Horse by Emma Hunsinger in this week’s New Yorker magazine.

[yfexsexg]

Oh my gosh my skin looks amazing

[yfexsexg]

Saine is always saying that I'm differentt and he's never met somebody like me beforee

[yfexsexg]

I think I had a dream I was at the mall with Saine, his brother, and my cousin/family friend who I'll call AB. I think I saw Red for 2 seconds and she thought Saine's brother was cute. AA was there with some friends and they were kind of bothering me. They were calling my name and repeated this message I sent asking if someone else had been removed from the winter percussion group chat as well in a whiney tone. I didn't actually send that but in the dream I did. I was embarrassed especially bcuz of the people I was with. I think it was Gold and Couch who were making fun of me. I think Twin was there as well but idk what 'side' he was on. There was also an issue of someone said hi to someone but later I said hi to Couch and it came off as me trying to one up someone (idek who) and it was rlly embarrassing cuz he made a face like he didn't like me.

[melodramas]

you can click on this button once daily to help palestine and support other causes in the middle east for free. it takes literally 5 seconds and could help save lives so please take the time to click and share this link.

[yfexsexg]

There are also other causes! I think it works though add revenue, it's worth checking out.

[yfexsexg]

Wow LT has a gf! And she's not white after Gold's sister said he only likes white girls around this time last yr. I hope he's nice to her. She doesn't go to our school btw maybe that's apart of y I didn't know.

[yfexsexg]

My grandma just tested me on the Quran I'm so scared I'm going to have to switch classes she made me pray in front of her yesterday maybe I did it wrong and she's onto me I can't I can't. The classes I have right now are so convenient it's only 30 minutes a day online 5 times a week and I can't memorize much so I have a notebook that they can't see. My dad already complained to them that I don't know how to pray for some reason I don't even remember that being a conversation. I used to have to go to a school every Sunday and it was so terrible and miserable I don't want to go back I can't I can't. For a while being near the building would freak me out and it still does a little bit. I think she's talking about my abilities with my parents right now I can't.

[yfexsexg]

AA removed me from the winter percussion group chat...???? This is after he removed me from two other groupchats. Atp I feel like it's some inside joke.

[yfexsexg]

Okay apparently according to his sister it's cause it's for marching band percussion but I still feel like it was personal...

[yfexsexg]

Probably not at all personal it was just midnight

[yfexsexg]

I wish I could go out so so so so much. There is so much fun stuff happening in the city but I can't go cause 1. My parents don't want to or 2. I can't go alone. I just want to do what I want to do.

[yfexsexg]

AA removed me from the winter percussion group chat...???? This is after he removed me from two other groupchats. Atp I feel like it's some inside joke.

[yfexsexg]

Okay apparently according to his sister it's cause it's for marching band percussion but I still feel like it was personal...

[yfexsexg]

AA removed me from the winter percussion group chat...???? This is after he removed me from two other groupchats. Atp I feel like it's some inside joke.

[yfexsexg]

Avocados are so beautiful

[yfexsexg]

I had a dream that I kept waking up in the middle of the night to tell my mom random dreams and stuff, I was like half asleep I think it was a form of sleep talking. I was also talking really loud, she was allegedly next to me. I know Camera would massage both my hands to soothe me back to sleep, maybe they switched spots. Idk y she was there, and it felt like I was sleeping in 2's childhood room, but it wasn't a bunk bed I was on a mattress farther from the door and I think my mom was on one closer to the door and in front of the closet. It was that sort of gray blue-black darkness. Camera was a senior who I did the school news with; I miss her... Her massage was very soothing I liked it a lot. I want to get a massage.

[yfexsexg]

I want to go back to putting myself into a story, and learning, and growing. I could do it with Brotherless Night a long time ago, but I couldn't do it with The Bluest Eye now and it feels like a wasted opportunity. Is it a matter of writing, is it because I had more initial connection to the former...?

[yfexsexg]

Is finding yourself attractive a necessary part of self fulfillment?

[yfexsexg]

I am going to start thinking less about the length of my hair and more about the health of my hair. And mean it rather than deluding myself.

[yfexsexg]

Pretending to be religious is choking me. What if it is an issue in my adult life. My dad asked me if I actually was and I said yes because I was scared he would get mad or lecture me or send me to lessons or a camp. I don't want them to know but I don't want to pray or do lessons or pretend.