Too Many Emotions? Here's What You Can Do.
Nothing today looks picture perfect but in reality, does it ever? In the midst of all that’s going on, the COVID-19 pandemic, plans been put to a halt, jobs have been lost, careers have shifted, couples are finding their love languages even more, families are learning to deal differently with each other, lives are being lost, there are changes in every corner of our lives leaving a long list of emotions that can be difficult to bear with and others embraced for the better. I personally take opportunities like this to reflect on my own life, sit with my feelings, and come to terms with what’s out of my control. But with everything else flooding our minds, social media feeds, and conversations there’s no way lasting effects aren’t left imprinted time and time again.
Because May was Mental Health Awareness Month I wanted to post this the last day of the month but the heaviness going on in our world today has put things on halt and I could only get around to share at this moment.
I want to use this simply as a reminder that looking after yourself while having a support system physically, emotionally, and spiritually surrounding you is imperative to your mental well-being but I know not everyone has this conveniently. Wherever you find yourself today know that you will get through this whether that’s in the moment or somewhere in the future.
And even if you feel that’s cliché to say it’s the truth. As the renowned quote says, “You didn’t come this far to only make it this far.”
If you need help getting perspective of your emotions while finding what you can do to make things better, I have a list I’ve compiled to be a source for you. There are 25 emotions and ways I find it to not necessarily get over them but get through them and live with them when they’re present.
This strong feeling can live all around us from our own feelings to the feelings of others. It can take up space, block the awareness of the root of feelings, and blind you in a way that doesn’t create the outcome we want. In times of anger, there isn’t one way of dealing with it but what I’ve seen work best for me is to take a step back. Go inward and figure out where I want to go from there.
It’s no use of me saying or doing the wrong thing to a person who might’ve gotten me angry or a situation that has spiked this feeling just to come back and feel guilty for it. Because I will feel this way if that happens.
Do you know the power it takes to step away from something when you’re angry? A lot. Think about what you can gain when you don’t act on impulse.
Being bored doesn’t come up only when you can’t find what to do with your day. It’s essentially the lack of being enthusiastic about anything. I can’t remember the last time I said I was bored but I have plenty of moments where I feel a lack of enthusiasm. When I get this way what I like to do is go for a walk, read, get my body moving in some way, and when that doesn’t work I tap into something creative that requires hands-on effort.
That could like look writing in a journal, painting, sketching, or playing a game.
If staying calm doesn’t come easy it’s because some part of you wants to control an outcome that can or cannot exist. To be calm isn’t simultaneous with being compliant with injustice or showing traits of not caring about what’s in front of you. It’s the absence of bringing confrontation to the table of the highest quality.
I’m not a person that sits in a place of perfect calmness but I am a person who always strives for it. Every single day. Finding what makes me most calm when I feel restless, hopeless, tired, nervous, sad, and other similar feelings is what brings me back to moments where I could be tranquil more than anything. Pinpoint what works for you and keep going.
Even in uncertainty, you can still feel confident. There are areas in my life that leave my confidence low but by some form of grace, I’m also able to notice the ones that can truly ground me. My confidence stems from being confident about writing words for my personal and professional work, my undying love for my partner, the unconditional affection for my family, my drive to see my dreams become a reality, my passion behind finding peace, my constant inner work, my efforts even in the face of challenges, and the love that pours into my life from all directions.
This feeling comes with acceptance and a release of managing all that surrounds you. It can sometimes even bring a form of happiness. Most of the time when I feel content about anything it allows me to be in the moment and just be.
To achieve this feeling I make sure I get aware of my feelings and why I feel the way I do. Then I try and think what’s brought me into that moment and then release all areas that make me feel something negative.
Writing is my creative outlet but it doesn’t mean it’s the only one I have. You can get creative with just about anything and it doesn’t have to be about your career, hobby, or the arts. Thinking about approaching situations differently brings the creative skill of coming up with original ideas. Rearranging your furniture in order to make any room of your home feel and look better is a form of creativity too.
When I feel my most creative it’s when I’m putting action to the thoughts in my mind. That could be from writing a new piece, to coming up with a new design for my room or looking for different ways I could express my feelings to and for anyone.Â
If I don’t check-in with myself I could often fall into an automatic response of defense. Getting defensive is needed in the moments of protection from an opposing view or side but it’s not a state to be in all the time. You have to fight against it.
Being in defense usually puts you in a negative state even when intentions are to make your views seen and valued. One of the things I try and do is be mindful of what I’m getting defensive about.
Has a person just hit a nerve that has nothing to do with what’s going on? Am I being triggered on purpose? What’s the other person going through? Am I missing the point? Is this an impulse reaction? Can I explain rather than respond defensively to be heard?
Each moment is different but that doesn’t mean getting defensive is always the answer. Pick your battles wisely.
I’ve found myself depressed for many different reasons but that doesn’t mean I’ll allow myself to wallow in it too long if I could help it. Because of loss of some form, an accident, weight gain, and other factors I’ve met depression up close and personal. You could listen to that experience in my podcast episode Self-Growth & the Journey Leading it with Ylani Salcedo, but I want to talk about what I continuously do to keep my mental and emotional state as balanced as possible.
I feel everything intensely. Too intense for what I’d like to experience but it’s the nature of who I am. I come back to journaling, meditation, and prayer every single morning before beginning my day. Without those 3 I would wake up most mornings drained. I try and eat the right foods. I stay off social media when people flood negative news and arrogant opinions. I read books. I vent when I need to. I do yoga. I look within. I take walks. I cry. I mute group texts. And most importantly I put things into action.
Even when it’s a small amount I hold myself accountable. Accountability is a big thing for depression. I think big acts get the most attention but don’t ever forget that even if it feels like feeble progress you’re making progress. Isn’t that the point?
To be an empath is to have characteristics that aren’t necessarily seen in everyone. As a person who feels deep, empathy is a place I visit time and time again.
I’ll cry with you before those tears reach your eyes. I’ll be enraged with you the moment unfairness steps in. I’ll carry feelings that later on I notice aren’t mine. It’s a blessing to be this way but it requires me to always stay on top of what I’m absorbing.
It’s not always healthy and it’s not always right to take on everything without making sure I’m okay. What I do to make it less impactful is to put boundaries up against certain people and conversations. Some won’t even notice how they affect you so it’s important to set those in place. Another thing is to stay attuned by what gets me feeling most. If I don’t know what that is there’s more of a chance of being flooded with too many emotions that’ll cause overwhelm.
There’s so much to be grateful for even in moments where it doesn’t feel that way. Firstly the breath is in your lungs and a pulse still going through your veins is good enough to be grateful.
I have a WORDAFUL journal I write in every day of what I’m grateful for. Sometimes it’s people, feelings, situations, and other times it’s things like the sky, air, and clarity. Seeing it on paper has a greater impact on your thought patterns and actions.
I used to think grief was based on the feeling you get after someone you love and care for has passed away. Experience has shown me that it’s that, losing a job, losing a friendship, losing a romantic relationship, losing a game, having troubling letting go, losing your rights, and so many other forms of loss. It’s deep sorrow and that can be felt for so many different aspects of our life.
What I try and do during moments of grief is disconnect with the noise that could be people, areas, social media, and my own distractions to just feel it out. Feeling every possible thing at the moment comes with resistance but it’s the only way to get through anything. I give myself permission to take it easy. There isn’t a step by step to get through grief but knowing yourself and how you process anything can help release pent-up emotions.
Just like grateful, happiness can always be a part of your life. Right now think of the smallest thing in your life going right. Focusing on the positive things in your life makes it 10x easier to be happy. I’m most happy when I let go of demands or what I think I should be doing for my life and get real about what I could do with what I have. I’m also happier when the people I love the most show and love me back in their love language.
Thinking about what doesn’t exist in your life doesn’t bring value to anything, being present does.
Feeling inadequate comes from a feeling of lack. Whether that’s a lack of an ability or a quality you bring to the table. This emotion comes up for me most when I find myself falling short on my job and relationships but what I like thinking about, before I fall into that rabbit hole, is who’s putting demands on me to meet some certain standard?
Most of the time it’s the conversations in my head and my own judgments that lead me to feel such insufficiency within my life. It’s not my actual value but my inner discussion that can flare this up. What I like to do, as many of the harder emotions, is to take a step back and become objective with myself. I ask myself if I were to have a friend with my ways and skills would I speak to them this way? More importantly, would I view them this way? Probably not.
What we say to ourselves matters, always. And we must find a way to change the script in our head when it’s siding with the negative untruths.
Treading carefully in the light of indifference is needed when it comes to things that actually matter on a human level. But when it comes to your well-being indifference might be what you have to tap into to not get drowned out by other emotions. This can happen when someone hurts you that leads you to let go of that situation and the hope their actions are different.
When I feel indifferent I check myself to make sure it’s not indifference to something that isn’t in my world or personal experiences that will bring a problem to others. If I’m indifferent about something like the weather then that’s not too much of a big deal. But if I’m feeling indifference on an emotional level too then that’s worth looking into.
It’s all about perspective.
The distanced time on a global level can bring a lot of inspiration in your life. You might’ve tapped into a hobby or skill that you haven’t had the time to in years. Or it’s shifted thoughts on how to live life in a completely different way. I think that we should keep this inspiration alive even after we go back to whatever normalcy will be.
I’m most inspired when I share moments with those I love and can get out of my regular routine. When I dive into something creative with no expectation but just to create that’s when inspiration rises most in me. What’s inspired you most lately?
Even when this feeling could get robbed from us in dire situations it’s not an emotion that isn’t ours to have. There’s a right to have joy in moments that bring you this great feeling.
When joy isn’t really present because nothing seems nor feels like it’s going right I come back to the fact that I’m alive. That my family is doing well and that we’re all doing the best we can with what we have.
Loneliness amplifies the feeling of isolation. Now more than ever this is felt across the world as we’ve entered into 2020 with more time away from each other and the normalcy of our days. This doesn’t come up too often for me but even then this emotion doesn’t miss to enter my life.
If I’m feeling lonely I do my best to reach out to those I could have a conversation with. Being close to my family is also one of the reasons I think loneliness doesn’t come up as often as it might in others. I used to think to be close to a lot of people outside of my family would never make me feel lonely but as life shows you many different things, it’s not the number of people you have in your life it’s the quality of the people you have in your life.
Uncertainty spikes up the feelings of nervousness and anxiety—existing widely across the globe today. Looking after yourself when this comes up has benefits needed for mental and emotional stability. There are many times where I feel nervous but I come back to my breath in the moments where I cannot calm down with what’s going on externally of me. I even find ways to get me physically out of spaces where this feeling will just keep on existing.
People who flood you with their own dialogue to vent, strong energies that drain me, a plan I can’t start early enough, preparing big projects, interviews, opinions that turn into the judgment of others, and the list goes on. This is what comes into my thoughts when I think of feeling overwhelmed.
Like many of these emotions, a lot of what we feel could be from the lack of control about a situation. And like much of what I’ve already mentioned I need to take a step back and give myself space. When overwhelm creeps in it has the underlining feeling of doom, even when it isn’t that serious, but that makes me feel so restless that if I can’t find a solution then I have to immediately remove myself.
Getting things taken away that’s out of your norm creates real reflective moments. I live with being reflective daily but how many people don’t get a chance to truly see how they’re living their life? Reflecting gives you a chance to find clarity in areas that might not be as clear as you’d like and helps you reach a level of peace a lot quicker.
If I can’t find myself intuitively being reflective I have my journaling, conversations, yoga, and meditation to keep me in check.
What a heavy feeling resentfulness is towards anything or anyone. I steer clear from this feeling as best as I could by getting objective. As a sensitive human with emotions felt deeper than the ocean I could easily get hurt and feel resentful towards those I interact with most.
I’m a big advocate on making sure I stay present and not let what’s occupying my attention most of the time take over my life or take attention away for harboring real connections. But I’ve got to be real, this is a high expectation I’ve learned to lower towards others. Not everyone’s the same.
Firstly, people don’t know your thoughts and sentiments if you’re not addressing it with them. Communication is key. Secondly, everyone’s love language is different and it would be unfair to judge others because they don’t show love the way I do while I say, “I accept you for you.” This is counterintuitive and doesn’t do well for anyone. Thirdly, not everyone is your person and that doesn’t mean you can’t still interact. The way people are set up in your life changes across a lifetime and so are you—everyone can be on a journey but not always the same path.
My heart is heavy and the sadness I’ve shown in the last couple of days has been in the form of tears. The racial injustice towards black lives and what’s sprung by the countless murders by police brutality has been heartbreaking. Also, this happening during the pandemic has me worried that more and more marginalized humans will have their lives not only taken away by unfairness but by the sweeping effect of COVID-19. The sadness of this reality lives deep within me as I try to grasp what to say, having conversations with those I feel most inclined to have them with, and taking action that lives well beyond the present moment that makes changes.
I’ve been sad about things time and time again. I put today into the perspective of how I feel about everything. How I feel about what’s always going on in America and across the world. How I feel about individuals and their views. How I feel about myself. How I’ll feel after the attention shifts again. And how I feel in general.
If you’re feeling scared, you’re not alone. Being aware of what makes you most afraid gives you the root of what changes you need to make. When this comes up I work on not allowing myself to get too worked up or anxious. I search for support to ease the tension by either talking with my beloved and closest people. Or I simply try and breathe.
My intuition notifies me of so much. It can nudge me to feel the energy of a room, a person, or a group of people. It can shield me from making a bad choice. It’s hard to explain into words but it exists to protect and advise when things aren’t right.
Being uneasy is extremely uncomfortable. For me, I have a bodily reaction that includes tension, a vibration of energy that can be overwhelming, a lack of attention, and the feeling that I need to get out of whatever is going on. I need to always come back to within. Nothing but reeling it back and being present with what is to move forward gives me the most effective moments.
This is an exhausting emotion but it doesn’t mean that it’s not manageable. If you think of what makes you most unrestful, what is it that triggers that feeling? Unrest could leave you hopeless but moments can only show you what you need to focus more on.
Knowing myself more and more throughout the years has allowed me to get real acquainted with all my reactions and the things that manifest them. If you could find peace and calm in some way it’ll ease more of the tension that this can bring.
