Walter wide was many things but it is extremely funny how he neglected his own flesh and blood teenage son in order to be an even worse father to a wholly different guy
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@yobsuba
Walter wide was many things but it is extremely funny how he neglected his own flesh and blood teenage son in order to be an even worse father to a wholly different guy
Walter White in Mario Kart Wii
https://m.youtube.com/c/TheChiptuner
The true funniest thing about Breaking Bad is that Walter White is only the main character because he has main character syndrome, fundamentally believes that it straight-up doesn't make sense for something to happen if it's Not About Him, and when something is happening that's about someone else, he inserts himself into the situation until it ends up about him
There are multiple times where something is happening regarding Jesse and he literally outright states that he doesn't believe it makes sense for something to be about Jesse, hyper-analyzes the situation for ways it could be directed at him, and retaliates, forcing everyone to address him and turning the situation into one that's About Him
The entirely of season 3 and 4 is him doing Charles Manson-level decoding of his boss' actions, the bulk of which turned out to be the final steps on a Count Of Monte Cristo revenge machine against someone else which started 20 years before they met. But he was so convinced all of them were coded messages to him specifically that he threw himself into the works of the revenge machine, killing everybody and declaring himself the winner of a multi-decade blood feud he was not part of
I was going to explain that in the context of "The Count of Monte Cristo," a revenge machine refers to a complex plan where the aggrieved orchestrates events with Rube Goldberg-like precision and foresight so that the object of their revenge doesn't even realize what's coming for them until it's too late, rather than being a literal machine
But then I remembered there are at least two actual, physical, non-metaphorical Revenge Machines that are built and deployed in Breaking Bad
Honestly I was referring to the 20-year Edmond Dantès-ass Bit that Gus Fring does where he builds a metaphorical conveyor belt that systematically feeds the Salamanca family into a figurative woodchipper one by one, disguised as a methamphetamine empire, but I'm impressed that you guys live in a much more whimsical headspace that, by an astonishing coincidence, happens to be fulfilled elsewhere in the show
Also in fairness to the machine in Face Off, that was not just a bomb, it was also a tactical assault wheelchair
Misuse of this screenshot, all of these things actually literally and without exaggeration happen in breaking bad, nobody is doing a bit
so about that dlc
"Malos's English VA is gay himself and believes Malos loves Jin" is boring because everyone agrees with that, they were clearly fucking
"Malos's Japanese VA genuinely didn't know if Jin was a man or woman when he read the script because Malos's lines toward him are so Like That", on the other hand, is funny as shit
History will say they were good friends
I could never be a protagonist in one of those uchikoshi branching path visual novels. Every one of them I've played I got the Everyone Fucking Dies route on my first run. Like maybe it's me maybe I'm the true killer of the uchikoshiverse
Xenogears but as an anime cel!
"can you behave" yes, if I wanted to, but this is so much funnier
I love Hornet's little red dress. First she has spines added so it can poof out like an umbrella so she can float. Then she lines the inside with goose down so she can use her new frilly dress to double jump. Then she lines the hem with razor blades so both of those actions can kill. Fashion AND function
"We are so fucking lost"
✨Meet the Xenoblade protagonists✨
I think this is the funniest onion headline bar none
I still don't really know what Homestuck is
Alex being himself
The Nopon from Xenoblade are the funniest fucking species of cutesy creatures in any RPG because they're all a bunch of assholes. You look at their adorable little faces and think they're innocent and kind. No!! They have jobs! They have children! They fuck!!!
They have an entire village tradition where they designate one Nopon to be the village's hero, except it's all bullshit and they're just sending their most problematic villager to go get killed in battle so they stop being a pain in the ass.
There's several side quests where a Nopon will ask you go to kill a family of wild animals for no reason other than it's annoying them. There's an entire underground drug cartel in the Nopon village.
Nopon should be an example for other rpgs on how to make the funniest npcs.
My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.
do they smoke weed?
Yes, actually.
you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?
It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)
They don’t look like they smoke weed.
Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.
Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.
I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING
Well that escalated quickly……
What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*
haha oh my god
who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.
love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.
and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.
“the goo pile that is now your body”
i’m dying over here, jesus
please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.
*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*
this dude playin omg
Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*