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For the Birds— Part 6 | JJK

I want you to stay even though you don’t want me.

♡ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (feat. Yuri) 

♡ Genre: angst, smut, future fluff!, this chapter is pretty much pWITHp (can be read alone, however you will be a tiny bit confused)~

♡ Rated: I for Indulge

♡ Series Warnings: Lots of smut (not always healthy), cheating, discussions of depression, this series includes Jk in a pretty toxic environment, degradation (not the sexy kind), manipulation, and overall Jk being in an emotionally abusive situation!

♡ Chapter Warnings: smoking, alcohol, vague mentions of su*cidal thoughts, discussions about depression, vague allusions to substance abuse (alcohol), a few emotional breakdowns, a drop of subby Jk (truly a drop), handjob, slight dom Jk makes an appearance, oral (m + f), a hand goes over a mouth (;D), a hint of voyeurism, protected and unprotected sex 

♡ Word Count: 19.7k

♡ Summary: As the son of the CEO at Golden Tech, a marriage was arranged in the name of business. Jungkook really tried to make the most of his situation and be the best husband he could be, but no matter how much he tried, his wife just doesn’t seem to want him. Then you… you came into his life and his eyes couldn’t help but wander.

♡ Now Playing: goosebumps by Travis Scott— see masterlist for playlist! 

♡ Beta: Thank you so much to @mellowladyanchor @iutint @pearinwords for reading this part for me! If you’re interested in betaing a future part, dm me! If you're interested in becoming a permanent beta for this series please first click here and refer to 'details about the job' section for more details and dm for any questions you might have! Betas get early access to chapters, so if you're free to help out and can't wait for next chapter, consider joining the team!!!

♡ Author’s Note: Office Sexcapades Part 2! First series shift coming next chapter~ Just a fair warning, this series is about to take a dip, specifically regarding mental health— once again a reminder that if that is a sensitive subject for you please be cautious when reading the following chapters! And sorry to everyone once again for the extreme delay trying to get this out! Life happens :')  

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much : D

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Jungkook’s days had a tendency to go badly the very minute he opened his eyes. It was either Yuri, work, himself, or the most miniscule obstacle that even Jungkook could have never predicted. At this point, it was a curse he deserved considering everything about his shameful existence. Simply waking up was all it took for the world to start throwing shit at him for its sick pleasure just to see if he’d make it through the day. It was exhausting and today proved to be no exception to the torture. 

Jungkook woke up, made himself a little coffee, went to the gym, came back to shower, got dressed, then headed to work. Dae-Jung dropped him off in the garage, which had been something his dad always told him was the quickest way to go instead of through the main lobby. He’d skipped too many workouts, so in turn he asked his driver to let him out towards the back for the opportunity to get in his much needed extra steps. He bid farewell to Dae-Jung and then he steadily weaved his way through the sea of cars, mindlessly heading toward the door thinking about what he needed to do today, when bam— you were standing right in front of him getting out of the passenger seat of some random vehicle. 

It only took a second for his confusion and amusement at the situation to turn into something even he didn’t understand. With his luck with the universe, he should have known it wasn’t just going to be a funny coincidence you two could laugh about later. 

Jungkook watched, unbeknownst to you both, as you got out of the car first before Kim Taehyung emerged from the driver's seat. You were smiling, so was he, and Jungkook noticed as you started making your way inside a certain look in both of your eyes, an uneasy comfortability, that made him remember the fact that you two had dated before. 

The minute the door closed behind the both of you, Jungkook felt his blood boil to a temperature he was sure rivaled the sun. His relatively moderate mood at the time transformed into something monstrous and hideous. He had practically stormed in soon after you made it inside. He had no idea why he was so upset. Nothing had happened— nothing had happened, so why the fuck were you with Taehyung? 

Jungkook was never the best at hiding his emotions, so the minute Jimin walked in his office later that day, it was apparent by the pout on his face that he had an attitude. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Jimin tried to be lighthearted, but considering the situation Jungkook was in, it was hard to know how serious the issue might be. What if this was about Yuri?

Jungkook looked up at him and then went back to staring off into space. “Hyung, is it normal for a guy to drive a girl to work?” It was the first thing he said to him, and it was certainly not what Jimin had expected to come out of his mouth. He stopped in his tracks, feeling uneasy about the question. 

“Ummm… what’s their relationship?” Jimin asked, rolling with it. He came in here with a work question originally, but it seemed it could wait for the moment. 

“They say they’re friends.” Jungkook mumbled shamefully. He couldn’t even look his hyung in the eye confidently. It sounded nonsensical even to his own ears. 

Jimin almost wanted to laugh, but then he grew more worried wondering where this question was coming from. 

“Why are you asking? Don’t tell me, Yuri—” Jimin’s mind was always quick to go there. It had every reason to.

“No— no, I just watched this movie and saw people debating about it.” Jungkook quickly came up with the lame excuse on the spot. He didn’t know what to feel— better that it wasn’t about Yuri, or worse because it wasn’t about Yuri. He felt pathetic. 

“Oh… well, in that case, probably not. Someone definitely has feelings, maybe one or both of them,” Jimin giggled at that. He had a lot more experience in the romantic department, so Jungkook really took his advice to heart. It was a little ironic considering he was the man who had been married for nearly four years.

Jungkook tried his best to stay calm. He didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, but you had literally told him with your own mouth that you and Taehyung had dated before. He’d seen too many movies and dramas depicting exes rekindling their relationships after previously complicated circumstances in their lives had prevented them from being together at the time. Maybe you two have matured and are finally ready to embrace each other again in the way you couldn’t beforehand. Just because you both did date in the past doesn’t mean things needed to end between you two. But that very thought made a weird wave of emotion wash over him— sadness, anger? He wasn’t quite sure, and he was even more unsure why he was having a reaction in the first place. You might be embroiled with him in an affair, but your life was your business, not his, and he had no right to care. Right? Right…? 

He kept trying to reassure himself, but the minute he came out of a meeting and saw the two of you together smiling and laughing as you always did, he couldn’t get the thought out of his head for some reason. 

He just didn’t like Taehyung— Taehyung just… Why was he always there?! He was a problem, and Jungkook was confused why you didn’t see it. His own conflicted feelings pissed him off even more and just seeing you— you— why were you doing this to him?

When the meeting ended, he got out of there as fast as he could. The minute he made it back to his office, Jungkook sent you a text asking to meet him in the storage room, but not before grabbing what he needed out of his desk first.

It hadn’t been too long after Jungkook had arrived when you knocked twice and he opened the door. You had been in relatively good spirits before you walked in, that was until you saw the slightly dazed, but pouty look on Jungkook’s face when he guided you inside. 

“You ok?” you asked hesitantly when he closed the door behind you. You honestly weren’t in the mood to fight with him today. 

Jungkook didn’t say anything, but slowly nodded his head. 

He was fine? Yep, you didn’t believe that for one second, but if he didn’t want to talk about it, you didn’t either. 

“Well, in that case, I wanted to say I was actually a little glad you called me in here. All these meetings, graphs, spreadsheets, Excel— I’m honestly done with it all. I’m frazzled. It was so bad yesterday that I overslept and Taehyung had to pick me up this morning or else I would have been late,” you sighed, rubbing your temples to quell the stress.

You unintentionally had given Jungkook a rationale for what he saw this morning, but it hadn’t really solved the problem. Because why did you need to ask Taehyung when the route he takes to work isn’t too far from your apartment? You could have easily asked him to take you. For some reason, Jungkook’s brain didn’t take into account that you didn’t know that and instead focused on the fact that Taehyung had been your knight in shining armor, saving you from dealing with public transportation when you were already late. The thought just didn’t sit right with him for some reason.

“Anyway, I’ve been stressed, and I know this arrangement is mainly about you, but I was hoping you might be able to help me take the edge off,” you sighed, feeling a little embarrassed asking. 

Jungkook had no idea what that meant and was too distracted by the fact that you wanted him for something to even try to figure it out. He tried his best to keep his cool. You wanted him! 

When Jungkook didn’t say anything back and continued to have this dopey look on his face, you wondered if he understood what you said.

“Jungkook?” you questioned.

“Hmm—” it managed to snap him out of it a little bit.

“You do know what I meant, right?” you finally asked when he still hadn’t done anything.

“Oh— ummmm…” He was a bit clueless it seemed. You were far too prideful to ask him outright, so instead you took initiative and made your way over to the table. 

You didn’t turn around as you started undoing your pants— it was extra cold today, so you went with pants instead of the skirts you’d usually wear. In hindsight, if you had known he was going to call you in here today, you probably wouldn’t have worn them. Your cheeks burned as you pulled them down, set them on the table beside you, and kicked off your heels. You put on your best straight face, not wanting him to know how embarrassed you felt, before hopping up on the table.

Even in the dark, you could see Jungkook’s bewildered gaze, his eyes wide, and you wondered if he was blushing like he always did. 

“You get what I mean now?” The lilt in your voice made it obvious that you were teasing him, but you also couldn’t deny that you were a little impatient. You smiled at him as you spread your legs a little, hoping that would entice him enough to beckon him more quickly.

It was hard to see anything in the dark, but the glimmer of light that seeped in from underneath the door outlined your body in a way that had him practically drooling as he stared at you. Sometimes it was hard to believe how pretty you were, even when he could hardly see you. 

Jungkook made his way over quickly and once he got close, it dawned on him what exactly you were asking from him. 

“So, are you just going to stand there?” you asked softly, your eyes staring up at him innocently, yet the way your leg began to rake up his own made tingles spread through his whole body in a flurry.  

Jungkook was quick to close the distance between you two. The longer he kissed you, the more and more it dawned on him that you had asked him to do this for you, not Taehyung— fuck Taehyung. You had gone to him in a time of need and suddenly that thought made the flame grow all-consuming.

He wanted to have you. Jungkook was down on his knees soon after, lightly kissing and sucking along the expanse of your thighs. With the extra skin exposed, so soft, so warm, he didn’t know how to act. 

Jungkook treated you well. He always did, when he wasn’t cursing your very existence, and as he drew orgasm after orgasm from you just like you wanted, you felt the stress wash away the longer he was between your legs. He seemed especially focused on you despite his needs being the reason he called you in here, and in between the moments he was a major dick, you had to admit he was actually very sweet. He was so attentive, and in the short time you’d been doing this, you felt like he already knew your body so well.

Moments like this made you wonder how ten months could have passed without his wife doing something, anything with him. You didn’t want to speculate too much— that wasn’t really your business and you didn’t know their relationship enough to make any type of accusations. But unless Jungkook was leaving a big part of the story out, you just couldn’t understand her. 

Your mind grew fuzzy at some point, you ended up losing count of how many times he made you cum when you hit your limit— you still had to be able to walk out of here after all. You finally pulled him away, and you could see his face glistening despite the darkness in the room. It was a sinful sight that made a wave of electricity run right through you.

When Jungkook finally lifted himself to his feet once again, you saw the quick way he glanced down before looking into your eyes. Right, of course you couldn’t forget about him.

“Mmmm, just go slow. I have to make it back to my desk somehow.” It was sort of a joke, but you also legitimately feared that if you did anything more, Jungkook might need to help you to your desk, and you were sure people would ask questions. 

Jungkook quickly nodded before fishing out the condom he grabbed from his desk earlier. Truth be told, he had to go slow or he probably wouldn’t even last a minute. He had wanted to focus on you, and he relished in the pretty sounds you made as you ran your fingers through his hair. However, it got him so worked up that when you tugged on his strands particularly hard while you came on his tongue again, he nearly finished right along with you. Somehow he had held it off, but at this point, he felt like he was only a trigger hair away from losing it.

Slow and steady was definitely the way to go. The minute Jungkook wrangled the condom on, he was inside you moving at a nice, comfortable, steady pace. His strokes were languid, seemingly trying to pay close attention to the way he moved; deep, gentle, and lazily rhythmic, each glide made your toes curl. He filled you up in all the right places and it was so soft how all his attention was on your gaze. If you didn’t know any better, you would have said it was incredibly romantic. But alas, in reality you were getting fucked at your workplace by your superior who was a married man. Nothing screams romance more than that.

Despite his efforts to try to go at a steady pace, he still wasn’t able to last long with the way you squeezed around him. You were so slick from your previous activities, and your warmth made it frustratingly easy to give in. Suddenly, Jungkook came, nearly knocking the wind out of himself in the process as he worked his way through it.

By the end, you both were just trying to catch your breath. You knew you had to leave soon. You had been gone far too long and you knew someone would start looking for you soon. 

Jungkook moved away to throw away the condom while you worked on getting your pants on again. Suddenly, his voice cut through the growing silence. “By the way, my way to work isn’t too far from your apartment. If you ever need a ride in the morning, you can just text and ask.” You didn’t notice the blush that had spread across his cheeks.

You laughed. “And what would people think if they saw us getting out of the same car together? Just to save us the trouble of being bombarded with questions, I’ll only come to you if Taehyung isn’t available— but hopefully that won’t even happen anyway because, crossing my fingers, by New Year’s I’ll have my own car and I won’t have to worry about that anymore,” you tried to smile.

“Right… I almost forgot,” he laughed, nervously fluffing his hair. 

“You were the one who helped me, remember…?” You were a little surprised you needed to remind him considering it had only been a few days ago. 

“Right… right, I’m sorry,” he was always so quick to apologize. 

“There’s no need to apologize,” you mumbled.  

It hadn’t been long since that meeting where you had ended up being a tiny bit late due to being stuck in traffic for what felt like forever. Luckily for you, unlike the times you’d gone on your own, the fact that Jungkook hadn’t arrived meant that nothing could start without him there, so by the time you burst through the doors, you really hadn’t missed anything. 

On the way back, you had asked Jungkook about all the car stuff that had been bouncing around in your head since you started your research. You first made sure to remind him that unlike him, you weren’t the son of a trillion-won tech company’s CEO and you couldn’t get just anything. Surprisingly, Jungkook gave you some pretty insightful advice about what to look for and possible features you might be able to add within your budget. He even recommended a few brands to research further. It had definitely helped refine your search and now you were close to having something picked out and ready to move on to the next stage.

It was odd that he apparently forgot this had happened, but you didn’t want to get on him too much considering everything that was going on. Everyone was busy moving toward the end of the last quarter, and you could only imagine what other things he was dealing with that would cause the memory to leave his mind so easily.

•────•──────────•────•

“Mom?” You questioned as you answered the call.

“Oh? So my daughter finally decided to pick up the phone.” Her tone was so deadpan you knew you were one of the only people who could’ve picked up on the sarcasm and humor in her voice.

“I’m sorry…” You sighed, but a smile still remained on your face. 

“You decide to move to Seoul and ever since then it’s almost impossible to get a hold of you anymore,” she mumbled, and in the background you could hear the faint sound of something hitting up against the metal bowl she would always cook in.

“We just talked last week.” You reminded her.

“Last week…” you heard her scoff. “I should be able to talk to my daughter whenever I please!” 

At this point, you couldn’t stop the laughter knowing how dramatic your mom could be at times. “I’m sorry, mom.”

She scoffed again. “Where even are you right now?”

You pulled your jacket a little closer to your body as the cool breeze seeped even further into your skin. “I’m walking to the subway station. You called me as soon as I left the office.”

“At this time of night?!” She exclaimed scoldingly. You couldn’t blame her considering it was almost nine o’clock.

“I’ve been busy these days…” You simply settled not wanting to get into the details. Your mom knew about your work troubles to a certain extent. She knew about your frustrating boss and how that situation arose because you spilled coffee on him on your first day, but you kept the more painful details to yourself. She worries about you enough as it is and the last thing you wanted to tell her was how much you were suffering because of a mistake. You had been so eager to let her know about the improvement in your relationship following your promotion, you hadn’t found the heart to tell her things had gone south again.

Of course she also doesn’t know about the affair either, how you were now sleeping with the Jeon Jungkook you used to rant to her about until the early morning hours. It was still hard to admit to yourself that it was happening, and even though you knew your mom wouldn’t say anything to anyone about it, you couldn’t bear the humiliation you’d inevitably feel if you told her. 

“Is that why you never answer my calls anymore?”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so busy…” You sighed.

“You’ve always been busy. All you ever do is work; you’ve been like this since you were young. Most parents have to pester their kids to do their homework, but you’d already have it done before me or your dad made it home. You’d always be sitting at your desk with your head in your books already looking into the next week’s material.” She absentmindedly reminisced. You couldn’t help but laugh, your mom’s words hitting you with a wave of nostalgia you weren’t prepared for. You could never forget your nights working at your little green desk in the corner of your room. It sat right beside your window that provided a comforting view of the Busan cityscape, and if you squinted hard enough, you could even see the water despite how far inland your house resided. 

It was typically just you in the house for a few hours after you’d get home from school, both of your parents still out and busy hard at work. As soon as you made it home you were dropping your things off, taking a seat at your desk, and getting straight into work. Even while you were younger you didn’t want your grades to be another worry your parents would have to constantly think about, so you always felt the need to take initiative and work hard. It always made you so happy to see your parent’s shocked faces when they would get back from their second or third jobs and you would tell them you had finished all your homework and you were getting a head start on looking into what your teacher said you’d be covering in the following week. You lived for their pleasantly surprised faces, and from an early age, you made it your mission for them to continue to be proud of you. 

“I have to be busy so I can earn a lot of money.” You reminded her. 

“It’s always money with you… you’re just like your dad. Will you ever forget work and visit your family again?” 

“You know I’ll be going back a month from now. Plus, how else am I supposed to get you guys really nice Christmas presents?”

“But that’s too far away. Who cares about Christmas presents when I haven’t seen my daughter since you came home for my birthday, and that was three months ago at this point.”

“I know…” The guilt creeping in made your cheeks burn. You all were really close and even though it's been years since you’ve moved away from your little house in Busan, you used to always try and make time to visit home whenever you could, no matter how busy you were sometimes… 

“Your dad’s been sad you’re not visiting this year for his birthday. We’ve been having all his favorite dishes this week just to try and cheer him up.” You giggled at your mom’s words. Your dad could be even more dramatic than your mom sometimes, especially when it came to you. 

“Is that what you’re working on right now?” 

“Mhmmm. We’re having agujjim (spicy braised monkfish) today,” she said absentmindedly, likely focused on the next step in her internal recipe book. Just the mention of it had your mouth watering, and for a split second you debated if you could somehow take the train back home and make it back in time for work in the morning. 

“Tell him I’ll be sure to call him on Friday to try and make up for it.” 

“You should call me back when you make it home. I’m sure your dad would like to hear that from you himself.” Your mom mentioned.

You were immediately about to object, but the longer you thought about it, the more you realized there was no reason why you couldn’t besides being exhausted from your work day. Plus, you really had been busy lately so your phone calls home were few and far between. 

“I’ll try and see if I can, but no promises.” 

“I talked to your dad right before I called you, and he said he will be here in about thirty minutes. I’m expecting your call sometime after that.” Your mom was serious once again, but you knew there would be no hard feelings if you didn’t end up calling. 

Your parents know you best in how much you consume yourself with work (though in more recent years that hasn’t been on your own volition), so situations like this weren't exactly new. They were always your biggest cheerleaders in your life, and you could never forget how proud they were of you when you told them you got your job Golden Tech, and they nearly fainted when you mentioned your promotion a few months ago. 

“Tell dad I love him if you don’t hear from me in the next hour.” 

“Mmmm, and what are your plans after work tomorrow?”

You thought about it. “I’m actually leaving a little early to get my nails done after work.” 

“I see. I’m still expecting your call later, but if not, call us afterward tomorrow and make sure I get a picture of your nails.” Your mom added. She always loved to see them whenever you’d mention you got them done. 

“Will do.”

“Alright then. Be careful on your way home. It’s late, so if you’re not calling, be sure to text me when you make it back home.” 

You grinned. “Alright, mom. I’ll talk to you later. Any longer and I might miss the next train.”

“You better,” her seriousness was back, making your smile grow wider.

“I will, don’t worry… Bye mom~”

“Bye.” 

And with that you clicked off and picked up your pace. You were only a block away, but you still found yourself hurrying. The last thing you wanted to do was have to wait for the next train, it was already late. 

It just had your mind traveling back to Jeon Jungkook and how it was all his fault that you were at work for so long. He just made your blood boil, yet at the same time… 

You shook your head hurriedly. No Jungkook thoughts after work. 

It was easy to say that, but as you hurried your way for some reason his face continued to follow you even as you sped down the stairs of the subway station. He pissed you off, he really did. Why was he always in your head? 

•────•──────────•────•

You were on your way back to your desk when you spotted Jungkook by the meeting room. At first you were going to speed right past, coming to the quick conclusion that he was preparing for the upcoming meeting later on, but something just seemed… off. He was pacing in front of the doorway and the look in his eyes, even from far away, made your passing gaze linger on him with concern. 

Just as you were about to walk by the hallway, your feet stopped you entirely. The longer you looked the more worried you became. Even still, the panic didn’t set in until you got a little closer. 

“Director Jeon?” you called out hesitantly.

The minute Jungkook turned around, you could truly process the fear in his eyes. You had never seen him look so distressed, only rivaling that first night you shared in his office. His eyes were looking at you, but it was like he was staring right through your very being. What was going on?

“Jungkook, what’s wrong?” you said, far more seriously, grabbing him so he’d look at you. Your stomach dropped when you felt him shaking in your grasp.

“Uhhh— this— um— this presentation, I—” Jungkook stumbled over his words and seeing how disheveled he was, you knew you had to get him out of there. You looked around worriedly at all the people passing by.

You quickly told him to meet you in the storage room and said you’d be in a few minutes after. Jungkook didn’t fight you on it, instead he just steadily headed over in that direction while you walked in the other. You both knew you couldn’t be seen with each other, so the extra time allowed you to quickly show your face to your team and drop something off in your office before heading out to join Jungkook.

You knocked twice, waited a second, then knocked twice again— something you’d easily gotten into the habit of doing by now. When Jungkook opened the door, he still seemed just as distraught as he had when you parted ways. You hastily made your way inside to figure out what was going on.

Before you could really even get in the room, you saw Jungkook fall back against the door and sink to the floor. His breathing was shallow, so shallow you were worried he was moments away from passing out. His fingers quickly threaded into his hair and even in the dark, you could see how tight his grip was. You didn’t say anything at first, instead moving to take a seat right next to him.

“Deep breaths,” you said as you looked at him worriedly. 

Jungkook quickly reached for your hand and you let him squeeze it tightly. He wasn’t looking at you and you were worried he didn’t hear your words before, so you called his name again and started taking slow, deep breaths to get him to follow along. 

Jungkook’s eyes darted towards yours, and after a little while, he attempted to join you. It was like he had run a marathon with how out of breath he seemed. 

“I can’t— Y/n— I can’t,” he cried, and you held onto him tightly as you tried to calm him down a little. You rubbed reassuring circles on his hand as he tried to slow his breathing down. It took some time, but eventually you both got in sync. You didn’t stop, scared that the minute you did, Jungkook would go back to square one. 

It was Jungkook who finally halted doing the breathing exercises and pulled away before bringing his knees close and resting his head in his arms. You placed your hand on his back, feeling him shaking slightly still.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Your voice was calm as you looked over at him. “We have a little bit of time before the meeting starts. We could just sit in silence if that’s what you prefer.”

Jungkook leaned his head back. 

“I used to not be like this— I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’ve given countless presentations in the past and I was fine. But these days, I don’t know— when I see their eyes it feels like they can see through everything and—” Jungkook was teary as he spoke, and things just grew worse.

“How am I ever going to run this company if I can’t even stand in front of people to give this stupid presentation?!” It was a thought he had never told anyone, his growing fear about becoming the CEO one day. He didn’t want to say anything because he was embarrassed. He wanted people to have high expectations of him, but he wasn’t even meeting his own these days.

This wasn’t even a big presentation. It was just a review of what the teams had already accomplished and what everyone needed to get done before the holidays. It wasn’t major, but there were going to be a lot of people there, representatives from all the departments and a few higher-up executives to check in and see how things were going. It should be simple, he’d done this presentation a countless number of times, but this year for some reason, just the thought of everyone sitting there and staring at him, only him—

It felt like that nightmare all over again; the executives judgingly peering at him, degrading him as he shamelessly took you on the table.

It had already been bad the last time he just had to go up there and say a few things when you did your presentation together. In that case, however, Jungkook only needed to chime in occasionally and give a little extra insight while you did almost everything. This time you weren’t going to be up there for him to hide behind. He had to stand there all alone, everyone’s eyes would be on him and—

The feeling of your hand moving on top of his tore him away from his rushing thoughts. Jungkook looked down at them, then back up to meet your smiling eyes.

Instead of saying anything, he threaded his fingers between yours.

“Their— their eyes are so scary. I know they’ll see everything,” his tears finally spilled over. You noticed the little light seeping in and reflecting off the wetness that began to stain his cheeks. 

He was shaking really, really badly. It reminded you of the fateful day your affair had started. His sad, watery eyes were peering into your own, practically pleading for help. It contrasted with the Jungkook you had begun to grow familiar with, the one who would get mad at you for no reason other than the fact that you existed. But this felt like the real Jungkook. Behind all the anger was someone so broken, it was almost hard to watch. 

You had seen his presentations in the past. Most of the time it was just executives who would be present, so for a while it was only on rare occasions had you’d seen Jungkook actually having to lead meetings. You had hated Jungkook at the time, but it was one of the few moments your hatred would dim and be replaced by a sliver of admiration. He was good. He would always be cool, calm, and concise when he talked, elaborating his points well whenever needed, and answering questions with just as much care and attention. It made his panic today seem even crazier when you thought back on what he was like just a year ago. It made you want to ask what had happened. You tried not to ask him too many questions, allowing him to tell you things only if he wanted to. After a little bit of thinking, you ultimately decided against it, figuring that if he wanted to tell you, he would.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I know I’ll get up there and will be shaking so much, everyone will hear it in my voice, just like last time— I’m so fucking pathetic.” And his fear just got worse. He couldn’t hide. They’d see him, they’d see everything— how incapable he was. He was a fucking mess and all his coworkers would see it.

“Don’t say you’re pathetic,” you finally interjected, hating how much he said that sometimes.

“I am, I can’t—!”

“Shhhh!” you squeezed his hand tightly. “Don’t say you can’t, because you can. I’ve seen you up there before.” 

Jungkook sadly laughed at that. “That was before, but now I can’t—”

“No— I’m not going to sit here and let you continue to say these bad things about yourself. Nothing good will come from doing that. You can do this, okay?” You were stern, yet reassuring all at the same time. 

Jungkook just stared at you wide-eyed for a second before he leaned his head back against the door. “It just looks so easy for you. You’re always so amazing when you’re up there. How do you do it?” he sighed, staring off into the darkness of the storage room.

It was now your turn to get a little flustered, but you quickly pushed the feeling aside to get back to the point. “Well, it just took a lot of practice. Presentations used to be a daunting task back when I was in school, but I picked up a lot of tips, tricks, and advice over the years that really helped me. I’m not a professional or anything, but I know that anxiety with public speaking can sometimes stem from other problems and stressors you might be dealing with. Considering you said you didn’t used to be like this, I would say that might be your issue.” 

Jungkook sat back and thought about it. That would make a lot of sense actually. “You’re probably right. I haven’t felt good in years, but this year in particular… things have gotten considerably worse.” His voice wavered at the end at the mere thought of it.

“We could talk about it if you like?” you mentioned softly.

Jungkook slowly shook his head. “Not enough time, and just…” He shook his head again.

“That’s fine. We could sit here and continue to take deep breaths together. Maybe it’ll help you calm down.” You would sometimes do a little meditation whenever you had a big presentation coming up and you were particularly nervous. Though what Jungkook was going through went beyond just the jitters, it couldn’t hurt to try it out. 

Jungkook steadily nodded, closed his eyes, and turned his attention to focus on slowing his breathing. 

He really had needed this. From the very minute he woke up this morning, the shaking had already started. He had so badly wanted Yuri to do something to take away the anxiety; even simply being a listening ear to his nervous ranting would have helped. 

Yuri had been around at the apartment that morning. Maybe she had no work plans and none of her friends were pulling her to hang out so early in the morning like they usually would on her free days. He wasn’t sure the exact reason, but he was happy she was home. 

Jungkook’s hands had been shaking so badly, he nearly spilled his cereal trying to bring the spoon up to his mouth. Yuri had asked what was wrong with him because of how jumpy he was, but the minute he mentioned the presentation, she had simply rolled her eyes at him.

“Isn’t that your job? Why in the world would you be so nervous?” She sounded so disappointed. She had every right to be, and it wasn’t even like she was wrong. It was his job; presentations weren’t new to him. Why was he so nervous? 

Jungkook couldn’t muster up the courage to say anything else after that, knowing all too well that if he continued, things might get so bad he wouldn’t even be able to leave his apartment. Instead, he tried his best to steady his increasingly shaky hand while he ate.

Honestly, Jungkook feared what might have happened if you hadn't pulled him into the storage room. He didn’t know why he had been outside of the meeting room. His racing mind had grown more and more anxious as time grew closer to the meeting. Somehow, his feet had carried him to the room where it would all be going down, not even to prepare, but to pace and pace because the shaking just wouldn’t stop and it was getting overwhelming.

Jungkook probably would have broken down right there, causing a horrible scene in front of anyone who passed by, but thankfully you had pulled him out of his daze and helped him plant his feet on the ground again. 

“Inhale,” you said softly. Jungkook took a deep breath in, letting his lungs fill with as much air as they could hold.

A few seconds passed before you continued. “And exhale.” It was just as soft as before and Jungkook finally released the breath he had been holding. The air escaped shakily, but it still felt like a weight was being lifted off of his shoulders. 

Inhale…

…

Exhale…

…

Inhale…

…

Exhale…

…

Inhale…

…

Exhale…

…

Along the way, Jungkook started paying more attention to the way you breathed. He tried his best to follow along with your calm, deep breaths in, followed by a long exhale. He was shaking, but gradually he was able to calm himself enough to follow your steady breathing a little more easily.

Breathing should have been his sole focus, but he realized his worried thoughts were also growing calmer as he thought about you beside him. You were too nice, far too nice for someone like him. He didn’t deserve it, he knew that’s what Yuri would say, yet for some reason you were down here with him on the floor trying to help him meditate. 

At some point, he just had to open his eyes again to look over at you. Your eyes were closed as you calmly breathed in and out. You looked so relaxed and… wow, you were so pretty. Even in the dark your beauty managed to pierce through the black you both sat in, and your bewitching presence relaxed him even further. His face warmed at the sight and an overwhelming emotion filled his heart and squeezed it so tight he almost couldn’t breathe. It was a feeling he’d never experienced before, one so consuming that for once, Jungkook put overthinking aside and acted on impulse before he could stop himself. 

It completely caught you by surprise, the feeling of his hand on your chin. You nearly jumped, but you quickly relaxed when you opened your eyes and saw it was just Jungkook. You glanced down at his hand before staring back up into his eyes. A new look had settled behind his gaze, one you were completely unfamiliar with.

Jungkook let his hand cup your cheek before he moved a little closer so there was hardly any distance in between you two. His gaze wasn’t meeting your own anymore. Instead, he was peering down at your lips. 

His thumb brushed lightly against your cheek, so soft, as he always was. You hated the way your heart tightened.

“Is this ok?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

Your body didn’t even give you the chance to think about it before you nodded. It was all Jungkook needed to finally close the gap between you two. This time was different. It reminded you of the very first time he kissed you— it wasn’t lustful, it wasn’t out of anger or frustration— it was… it was…

You loved the way his lips moved against yours. He was so gentle, and his soft sighs anytime he’d pull away to breathe were addicting. You loved the way he held you, so tenderly— no, this wasn’t right. What was going on? 

You kissed him a little harder, picking up the pace a little to bring things back into more familiar territory. Jungkook didn’t stop you, instead welcoming the way you kissed him more passionately. You normally never took the time to just make out like this, always quick to get to the main event. But Jungkook was a really good kisser. He let you take the lead, allowing your tongue to eagerly explore his mouth. He was always so skilled and receptive.

You grew hot pretty quickly and you could imagine Jungkook was the same way as one hand flew to your waist and the one that rested on your cheek pulled you even closer. It gave you an idea. As much as you didn’t want to, you finally pulled away.

“Jungkook…” you said, your breath labored. 

Jungkook hated each second you spent apart and pressed light kisses across your cheek. “Mhmmm…” he practically moaned into your skin. 

You had to resist just completely melting in his grasp.

“I can’t help with your nerves directly, but maybe there’s something I can do to better take your mind off things if you’ll let me,” you mentioned in between the kisses he kept planting on your cheek and lips. At this, Jungkook finally pulled away, seemingly interested.

You let the silence pass for a little while.

“Orgasms always helped me de-stress,” you smiled shyly at him, maybe a little too innocently considering what you had just proposed. You saw the way he steadily processed your words in his mind.

“Maybe.” He was beating himself up for somehow finding himself here with you once again, but you always did relax him. “I didn’t bring a condom though. I didn’t—” 

You shook your head. “I don’t think we have enough time to go all the way anyway.” You glanced at your watch and once it lit up you saw that there were only twenty minutes before the meeting was about to start.

Jungkook looked up at you, worry painted all over his features again. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,” you reassured, placing your hand against his cheek. 

Jungkook seemed dazed as he stared into your eyes, before he quickly nodded his head. You smiled and shakily got up to your feet.

“Stand up,” you lightly commanded, not really wanting to suck him off on the floor. He did as you asked and before anything more could be said, you moved him toward the side of the wall so he wouldn’t bang against the door. With something a little more solid behind him now, you finally took the opportunity to pin him against the wall. 

Your height difference wasn’t much when you had your heels on, but even then, he was still a little taller than you. You doubted you looked that intimidating, but you nearly giggled when you saw the look on his face as you stepped closer. 

You made quick work of sliding your hand onto his waist and settling the other on his cheek. You smiled before planting light kisses across his warm skin and eventually guided yourself up to his meet ear. You brushed away his hair and being this close it only then dawned on you that Jungkook had not one, but two sets of shiny hoops in his ears that you had never really noticed before. 

“I promise to make this quick,” you whispered softly before planting a kiss right on his ear.

“Fuck,” Jungkook moaned as he quickly pulled you back to meet his lips. The position was hot, and you weren’t the only one who thought so. He’d never been pinned like this before and he certainly couldn’t say he hated it. No, if anything—

“F-fuck!” he panted as you moved down to suck on his neck. You were always careful about not leaving any marks. Jungkook was clumsy sometimes, but you knew the right balance of giving pleasure without going too far. It had Jungkook mewling as he embarrassingly started grinding into you slightly. He was subtle, but the friction combined with your mouth was enough to get him hard in no time.

The minute you noticed him chasing his hips into yours was when you figured it was time to move on to the next stage.

You kissed his lips one more time before dropping down to your knees. First, you checked the time again— fifteen more minutes. You really needed to be fast.

His belt and zipper came undone in a flash. Since he was standing this time, you tried to pull his pants down to make it a little easier for you to work, but Jungkook stopped you and mumbled something about it being quicker like this. 

Even if you were trying to be conscious of the time, you didn’t think it would take that long to pull his pants up when you were done. But that’s what he wanted and there really wasn’t any time to question him on it. Instead, you finally took him out. You were drooling at how pretty the outline was even in the darkness and how it felt in your hand.

“Y/n…” Jungkook whined as you stared. Right, it was not a good time.

You slowly began pumping his length. You made sure to be extra attentive in your movements, steadily increasing your pace, and focusing on the tip since you knew how sensitive he was.

Your eyes also were trained on his expression. It was hard to see exactly, but you noticed the way he leaned his head back and the tight grip he had on the shelf that sat beside you both. He was trying so hard to be quiet, you could tell by the soft whines that would sometimes manage to slip out of his mouth. He really was so pretty. What you would have given for more time to tease him further. 

You finally took him into your mouth, apparently a little unexpectedly by the way he nearly jumped out of skin. You hated to admit it was kinda cute. 

Jungkook’s hand quickly moved from the shelf to rest on top of your head. He was careful to not hurt you as his fingers lightly threaded into your hair. He tried his best to keep steady, but his legs shook with each swipe of your tongue. The warmth and wetness of your mouth was overwhelming in the best way possible. Just the view alone of you on your knees for him… god.

Occasionally, you would look up at him and tease the tip between your lips. Sometimes Jungkook would try to watch as you took down as much as you could, but the sight was so good that he would need to quickly look away, flushed, knowing that the end would come all too quickly if he kept watching. 

Before long, Jungkook was close and had to put his other hand over his mouth to stop himself from crying out. Somehow, he was still able to warn you of his impending release.

This prompted you to speed things up a little, knowing by now that time was probably not on your side. It didn’t take much more work before Jungkook was suddenly spilling into your mouth. His moans were muffled, but you watched in delight as you saw the tension leave all his features and his cum continued to paint your tongue. 

You wanted to stay there and let him bask in his post-orgasmic bliss, but you figured he probably needed to leave soon to go set up for the meeting. You stood up and from the new angle you could see how relaxed he was; his eyes were closed while he leaned against the wall, his breath steady unlike when you first walked in. You really didn’t want to ruin this serene moment.

“Hope that helped a little bit, but it’s probably best not to sit here too much longer,” you mentioned after some time had passed.

Jungkook hummed and his eyes fluttered open to look at you before staring off into the distance. “I really don’t want to do this,” he sighed.

“I know it sucks, but once it’s over, it’s over. Do you have any other presentations coming up?” you asked, and Jungkook eventually nodded. 

“One more right before the holidays start. It’s mainly to the higher-up executives, giving them a formal look into our plans for next quarter and the next year as well. Not as many people are going to be there as today, but it’s a little more important,” Jungkook groaned, running his fingers through his hair.

“We'll take it one day at a time. At least this one will be over shortly, and you can look back and—” but before you could finish, you felt a hand on your wrist and then suddenly you were pulled into something warm.

It took you a second to realize it was a hug. Your cheeks burned and you hated the way your heart skipped a beat at the way Jungkook nuzzled into your shoulder. He was so warm that you couldn’t help but melt into his embrace.

“Thank you… thank you for being here,” he sighed, and then all of a sudden you felt tingly everywhere. “Without you, I’m almost sure I would have had a breakdown right outside the meeting room, so thank you for just being here and… for helping out.” Your relationship was complicated for sure, but you weren’t the type of person to leave someone when they were clearly struggling. You may not exactly like Jungkook, but you didn’t hate him either. Sometimes, in moments like this, all he really needed was a helping hand.

“It was no trouble at all,” you tried to laugh, but it was hard keeping your voice steady when your heart was nearly beating out of your chest.

You stayed just like that for a second, wishing that you didn’t leave so soon.

“I guess I should go now. I still need to get my laptop from my office,” Jungkook sighed, and you quickly pulled away, remembering the time.

“Alright, you can head out first. I’ll see you in a few minutes,” you smiled at him, but right then you suddenly remembered something. You reached over to where the light switch was and quickly turned on the lights. You both cried out, then laughed at the sudden brightness in the room, but you tried your best to ignore it and do what you had wanted.

Suddenly, you were very close and your hands were back in his hair as you tried to fix the disheveled strands a little after his fingers had been running through it too many times. Once he realized what you were doing, he relaxed, and Jungkook’s gaze steadily fell to your lips. The pretty color that had stained them earlier was now smeared from your activities and he couldn’t stop himself from thinking it was one of the hottest things he had ever seen. 

His hands came up to rest on your waist, but you paid no mind as you worked. The position made him realize just how much he didn’t want to leave you. You always needed to be quick whenever you met up here, but today you had no time whatsoever to spare. It really sucked.

Jungkook tried his best to ignore how much he wanted to kiss you again.

“Alright. I couldn’t help much, but I was able to get things relatively in the right spot. You look great and I’m sure you’ll do fine.” 

It was then that you realized Jungkook’s gaze had drifted down towards your lips. With the lights on, you were able to see things clearly, his pretty lashes and all the cute moles on his face. He really was breathtaking. You were tempted to kiss him again, one last token of good luck before his presentation, but something about that felt… it felt like it wasn’t your place to do that. Instead, you smiled at him before pulling away again.

“How about this… if you have some time later, maybe I’ll give you a reward for finishing your presentation,” you mentioned as you watched Jungkook zip up his pants and redo his belt. 

Jungkook smiled at the thought. The presentation was the main thing he had to do today, but he also had a few documents he knew he needed to look through. He would possibly have time a little later to potentially sneak off with you again. Plus, by that time, no one would really even be around to notice he was gone.

“Secretary Yu is leaving early today, it wouldn’t be too hard to sneak off later, but I’ll let you know.” He was certainly planning on it. After the presentation, he knew he would need something to wash away the nerves again.

You nodded at that. “Alright… Make sure to take deep breaths, and if things become too much, just look at me and pretend everyone else isn’t in the room.” You had heard that tip somewhere and figured it would be a good last-minute suggestion.

Jungkook looked up at you again. “Thank you…” he smiled once again, still unable to believe you were even there. Why would anyone care for him like this?

“Again, no trouble at all. I’ll fix myself up, then I’ll be heading to the meeting room.” You could only imagine what your makeup looked like right now.

Jungkook smiled. “Alright, I’ll see you then.”

“See you then~” you waved as Jungkook hurried out the door.

…

The presentation didn’t go perfectly. It never could have, considering all the anxiety he was dealing with these days, but he’s sure that without your help, it would have probably been a complete disaster. He hit all the talking points that he wanted to, even if he was a little shaky, but hopefully it hadn’t been too obvious.

You were a big help, and just your presence in the meeting made things a little easier as he tried the trick you suggested and fixated on you a couple of times to maintain his cool. 

It went better than expected, and that was enough for him at the moment. As everyone started leaving the meeting room, it was good to feel the relief of it all being over. But now that things were done, all Jungkook could think about as he made his way back to his office was when he could meet up with you again.

•────•──────────•────•

Ever since the day Jungkook had left Yoongi’s office after breaking down in front of him about the affair, they had been texting off and on. It wasn’t much, mostly just Yoongi occasionally asking Jungkook if he was doing alright or if he had yet made an appointment with Dr. Kim yet. He had not.

Earlier today, the doctor randomly texted him to ask if he would like to meet up and have dinner since he apparently didn’t have any late night appointments that day. Jungkook wasn’t normally the type to say yes to something like that, not really enjoying other people’s company these days, but despite not technically being his therapist anymore, Dr. Min was still a professional and he knew he probably needed to talk to someone.

That was how Jungkook found himself leaving work a little earlier than he normally would and cruising down the streets of Seoul with Dae-Jung. A lot of people had already begun putting up decorations for the approaching holidays. Pretty lights twinkled in people’s windows and they came across frequent sightings of late night workers beginning to decorate small Christmas trees. 

Yoongi hadn’t texted him an exact address, instead giving him the details of the place across the street from where they were meant to meet. At first, Jungkook was a little confused by it, until they made it onto the road and he saw the pojangmacha (tent bar) at the end of the street. It wasn’t long before he saw Yoongi right outside. Jungkook hopped out of the car into the freezing cold, telling Dae-Jung he’d text him when to pick him up, and made his way over to Yoongi.

They both greeted one another, exchanging slightly awkward hellos before walking in together. It had been quite some time since Jungkook had been to a pojangmacha— maybe since college? It was nice. The cozy warmth from the heaters and the grill easily cut through the chill November air, providing a little oasis for the people coming in. Lucky for them, a table was already available so they were quickly able to get a seat. As soon as they sat down, Jungkook realized he’d forgotten to eat again today and his stomach growled as they both looked over the menu. 

The minute his eyes landed on Korean dumplings, he nearly started drooling as memories of them invaded his senses. He could practically taste them on his tongue. Jungkook eagerly pointed to them on the menu and then Yoongi ordered for the both of them, getting Korean dumplings for himself as well along with two sojus to go with their meal.

“I saw this place on my way to work today. They’ve come to this area before and they always have really good food,” Yoongi mentioned with a smile.

“I’m excited to try it. It smells really good here. I forgot to eat all day, so I’m starving!” Jungkook tried to laugh as he looked longingly at the food of the other customers. Hopefully their food would be served quickly…

Yoongi, however, was focused on something else. “Good food wasn’t the only reason I brought you here though. It’s been a little while since we’ve seen each other and I just wanted to check in on how you were doing. Have you managed to speak with Nam— Dr. Kim yet?” Yoongi asked, as a lady came over with their bottles of soju and some shot glasses. 

Jungkook steadily shook his head. “I’ve been really busy at work. I was just going to try and schedule an appointment after New Year’s when I’ll be a little more free again.” Like a proper dongsaeng should, Jungkook was already opening Yoongi’s bottle and pouring it for him. Yoongi tried to do the same for Jungkook, but he insisted he’d do it on his own.

“I see… Things are usually hectic during the holidays. I’m still a little worried, considering how you were doing the last time you came to my office, but I understand. How are things going with that by the way?”

Jungkook took his first shot. It was bitter today, of course. 

“With what?” Jungkook had to clear his throat as the clear liquid burned going down his throat. 

“The affair. Did you ever manage to tell Yuri about it?” Yoongi took his own first shot. He didn’t mean to be so blunt, but there was no use beating around the bush.

Jungkook stared at the doctor for a second before he hurriedly filled his shot glass once again, the clear liquid quickly rising to the top and nearly brimming in the process. He downed his next shot speedily and finished it with ease before finally managing to shake his head no. He still hadn’t told Yuri about what happened that day… and all that happened afterward. Frankly, he didn’t really want to.

Silence passed for a little while as Yoongi continued to stare at Jungkook. 

“Are you still seeing the coworker?” Yoongi eventually asked.

At this, Jungkook hastily went for his third shot. 

“Woah… no need to rush—” Yoongi mumbled in an attempt to tell him to slow down, but Jungkook shooed him away as he easily downed his third. As soon as he set the glass back on the table, Jungkook’s hands were threaded into his hair again, his grip tighter than ever. Eventually, he nodded. 

“Jungkook, look at me.” Yoongi softly commanded. Jungkook put his hands down and Yoongi was able to see that his eyes had grown a little watery. He took a deep breath before continuing.

“I tried to push her away, or maybe I didn’t. I probably didn’t try hard enough.” Something about confessing out loud that things were still happening between you two made the reality sink in even more. How horrible was he?

“She was the one who tried to tell me it was a bad idea to continue, but I practically begged her to be with me again.” Just the thought of it was sickening. Pathetic. What would Yuri say if she saw this? 

“I tried to focus on Yuri, she’s my wife for fuck’s sake. But she keeps pushing me away, and now… I just feel like I’m digging myself into an even deeper hole than I was in in the first place,” Jungkook's voice wavered. He didn’t know what was worse at this point— betraying Yuri’s trust over and over again, or the fact that he was enjoying his time with you so much. 

Yoongi stared at Jungkook for a little while before he went for his second shot. Jungkook tried to pour it for him, but Yoongi shooed him away. He downed the shot easily before rising to his feet.

“Follow me,” Yoongi said as he started putting his coat back on. Jungkook was confused, but quickly rose to his feet and put on his coat as well. 

“We’ll be standing just right outside, could you call us in when our food is ready?” Yoongi asked the ajumma who was working hard behind the grill.

“Did you get that?” she called out to the younger woman who was sitting behind her scrolling on her phone. She had been the one who served them their drinks. Jungkook assumed she might be the older woman’s daughter. They had the same face, time being the only differential. The young lady nodded and with that, Yoongi pulled Jungkook out of the tent into the cold and over to a bench that sat in front of a big art sculpture that wasn’t too far from them.

Yoongi sighed, a foggy puff of air slipping past his lips, proving just how cold it was to anyone standing outside in this unfortunate weather. Jungkook was about to ask what was going on when Yoongi started rummaging around in his pockets, pulling out a box in one hand and something shiny in the other. It took him a second to realize it was a box of cigarettes and a bright purple lighter. 

Yoongi smiled as he held up the lighter. “My daughter’s name is Bora. I got this color because of her, but funnily enough, I don’t really use it much anymore,” he laughed.

It took Jungkook a second to realize that he had never really considered that the doctor… had a life? He felt guilty for not asking Yoongi about himself, but of course the couples therapist has a whole life and a daughter. Jungkook also imagined he was married as well. Oddly enough, Yoongi had started to take on the role of a big brother in Jungkook’s eyes, but it still shocked him a little. Sometimes he seemed years ahead of him in life experience, but other times he really didn’t feel any different in age. Yoongi didn’t even look that much older than Jungkook was, making it harder to remember there was a bit of an age gap— seven years to be exact. 

As Jungkook was lost in thought, he completely missed when Yoongi opened the box, took out a cigarette, put it between his lips, and handed the box over to Jungkook.

“Only if you want to,” Yoongi mentioned, as he tried his best to light it. It took a couple of tries, but eventually the end managed to catch.

Jungkook didn’t really think too much about it as he took one before handing the box back over to Yoongi and exchanging it for the lighter.

He didn’t really smoke, at least not anymore. College Jungkook, however, was a very different Jungkook. It wouldn’t have been an unusual sight to walk into his apartment and see him on the balcony with his feet kicked up and a cigarette between his lips, strumming along on his guitar to his favorite songs as he procrastinated doing homework. He never stopped for any reason in particular, it was just one of those habits that never stuck, and especially once he started his new life as a married man, he never really went back to it.

That didn’t stop him this time, though. Jungkook took the bright purple lighter and easily lit the cigarette. He took a long inhale before steadily blowing out the smoke, all while Yoongi observed him closely. Jungkook wasn’t prepared to hear the man chuckle beside him. 

“Guess you weren’t lying then…,” he giggled to himself, taking another puff. 

“You thought I was?” Jungkook asked, a little confused why he would think that.

Yoongi just shrugged, not really having an answer. 

“Anyway, I brought you out here to talk about how you’re doing. We’re not in my office anymore, so be as unfiltered as you’d like. Tell me anything you’re comfortable with sharing— about Yuri, the affair, yourself…” Yoongi looked over at him.

The proposition made Jungkook’s eyes glisten and he hoped Yoongi would just think it was because of the cold. He quickly took another hit of the cigarette. Silence passed for a while, just the sounds of a few passersby and the wind steadily blowing as it made the night even colder.

“I don’t feel good,” Jungkook laid out plainly, not really having the energy to put up a front for the doctor and pretend things were fine. They weren’t— he needed help, he knew that. “I don’t really feel anything anymore,” Jungkook added a little more quietly.

“Anything?” Yoongi repeated, and Jungkook nodded.

“Every day is a fucking nightmare. It hurts just to get out of bed each day and go to work. It hurts to see Yuri. Our marriage is getting worse every single day and I still don’t feel guilty about what I did to her— what I keep doing to her for some reason. The only time I feel anything anymore is when I’m with Y/n…” His eyes were watering so much now, it was hard to pretend it was still just the cold.

“Is Y/n your coworker?” Yoongi asked, and Jungkook nodded once again. “What does she make you feel?”

Jungkook shrugged. “It just feels good when we’re together. For a moment, I feel something again. For a second, my life isn’t shit and my problems disappear. Maybe that’s why I keep going back to her for more.”

Yoongi wanted to comment on that, but ultimately chose to stay quiet. He didn’t want to label anything prematurely, but as a couples therapist and a married man, what Jungkook described didn’t sound unfamiliar. 

“But even when I do, I still treat her like shit, just like I do with Yuri. I can’t do anything right,” Jungkook laughed as he wiped his eyes and took another puff from his cigarette.

“And what makes you say that?” Yoongi inquired further.

“I keep giving her more work when we’re already really busy as it is. We argue pretty much every time we’re alone together. She doesn’t deserve it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Jungkook was crying just thinking about how you were probably still at the office working because of him.

“I just feel so hopeless every day, every fucking day and I just want it to end.” Jungkook sobbed, using his coat sleeve to wipe his eyes.

“Before, I held onto this glimmer of hope that one day I’d get my shit together and finally understand how to make Yuri happy, how to love her, how to at least get her to a place where she’d try and work things out with me.” Just an attempt, that was all he needed. “But now I feel like I fucked things up beyond repair, I’ve fucked everything up so badly— nothing will ever get better and I’m just so tired.”

Yoongi didn’t want to interrupt but this was beyond heartbreaking to listen to and watch as the tears started streaming down his cheeks.

“And I’m so ashamed— Y/n— I think I’m just running off of what she gives me at this point, it’s the only time anything feels like something anymore— I want things to be ok, but I just keep messing everything up— I’m so tired, I feel like giving up at this point.” It was vague, but Yoongi was paying close attention to his wording and his heart sank hearing the words ‘give up.’ He honestly thought the worst.

“It’s just gray no matter where I look and I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this, hyung. I just want it to end.” Jungkook sighed.

It might have been a slip of the tongue, maybe it was the alcohol flowing through his system, but the endearing honorific, one Jungkook didn’t seem to notice in the moment, was easily heard by Yoongi.

At this, Yoongi finally had to say something. “Jungkook, I'm really, really worried about you. I know I’m a couples therapist so this isn’t exactly my specialty, but the way you speak about your depression is concerning. The sentiments you’re describing are treading into dangerous territories that I’m honestly a little worried about leaving you alone.” The label wasn’t really a surprise. Jungkook had figured he’d veered into depression land a long time ago.

“Do you think you can hold out till the New Year’s when you’ll be able to meet Dr. Kim?” Yoongi asked seriously. 

Jungkook nodded, wanting to believe he could. He hated to say he wasn’t confident in his affirmation.

“Things were bad before, but it was very recently where I don’t know… like I didn’t feel good for years if I’m being honest, but it I felt like I was on a hill and then all of a sudden I reached a cliff. I’m trying hard to climb out, or at least find the other side, but it just keeps getting lower and lower and now I’m stuck— the end’s nowhere in sight and—” Jungkook could ramble for hours about this. It truly felt there would be no end to this madness. He was tired, tired of going on and on and on with the same bullshit…

He was making people suffer, his wife, his employees, his friends, you, the list goes on. 

“I know things might feel hopeless now, but trust when I say there is an end somewhere. Just hang in there a little longer, Jungkook,” this conversation had grown very serious. They both were dancing around the actual topic at hand, but they certainly knew what was being discussed. 

They both sat in silence for a little while, letting it speak louder than words could in the moment, steadily smoking away their woes. Jungkook’s soft cries gradually grew quieter.

“Jungkook… I don’t really know the type of people you have in your life, but like I mentioned the last time you were at the office, I really recommend leaning on whatever support system you have. Friends, family, and I want you to know I’ll always be here if you need someone to rant to. If things ever feel like they’re getting too much, you can always call or stop by the office with a little heads up. You’re not alone and I don’t want you to feel that way.” Yoongi added after a particularly long puff from his cigarette.

The sentiment was nice and even though Jungkook was a mess right now, he still appreciated it. It was enough that for a moment it pushed away that terrible thought of him not being worthy of help anymore— for a second he wanted to believe somehow everything would work out as it should. It’ll be a tough battle and if worse comes to worse, at least maybe Yoongi will be there to lean on.

“Thank you…” Jungkook’s voice was soft as he spoke.

It was only a moment though, and bringing up all these emotions he tried his best to keep at bay made his head feel like a mess. It was so much, too much, and he really was so tired at this point. His eyes grew watery all over again, but his cheeks burned as he realized they were in fact in public. He could only imagine what the people passing by would think of him…

“But it still hurts, it hurts so much.” Jungkook was trying his hardest to keep the tears at bay. Yoongi was probably tired of all the crying, but they just kept rolling down his cheeks. “I don’t want to li—”

“Boys!” A sudden voice called out.

Yoongi and Jungkook looked back over to the tent and saw the lady who was sitting on the stool earlier had her head poking out. 

“Your food’s ready!” She added once she saw that she got their attention. Yoongi flashed her a quick thumbs up and she sent one back before heading inside. 

“What were you saying?” Yoongi tried to steer things back on topic, but Jungkook shook his head.

“Doesn’t matter—” He said, still wiping the tears off his face. “I haven’t eaten all day, I’m starving.” He was quick at getting up and heading over to the trash can to put out his cigarette and throw it away.

Yoongi wanted to stop him, but just decided they could discuss things a little more as they ate. Maybe things would go better with some food in their systems, especially for Jungkook. 

Yoongi caught up to him. “By the way, I don’t mind you calling me hyung.” He mentioned with a smile. Suddenly Jungkook looked even more embarrassed. 

“You said it earlier and I didn’t mind. I’m not your therapist anymore, no need to keep the formalities. Making things casual seems like the way to go.” He smiled.

“I’m sorry about earlier, I—” But Yoongi shushed him.

“No apologies, it’s fine. Let me hear you say it~” He slightly teased. 

Jungkook’s cheeks flushed. “Hyung? Yoongi hyung?” Jungkook tested how it sounded and they both chuckled.

“Sounds right to me. Now let’s go eat.” They hurriedly rushed back inside to the warmth and were greeted with the mouthwatering sight of the dumplings sitting on their table. Yoongi ordered two more bottles of soju, and once they got their coats off they immediately grabbed their chopsticks and started to dig in.

The place was fantastic— Yoongi was one hundred percent right and Jungkook wished this place would stay here so he could visit more often. He made sure to tell Yoongi hyung that when the place was back in this area to let him know so they could eat here again together. 

Now things were in much better spirits considering the difficult conversation they just had outside. Jungkook even asked for more food after he managed to finish so quickly. Nonetheless, something Yoongi tried not to bring up at first was how awfully fast Jungkook was drinking. He easily downed shot after shot, and the bottles quickly came and went over at his side of the table.

“Are you trying to get drunk or something?” Yoongi eventually asked. Even he had lost count of what bottle he was on. Yoongi was still on his third. He had made the decision to just leave his car and take a taxi to work or something in the morning once Jungkook agreed to meet up, but he still wasn’t trying to get hammered. He had a seven-month-old at home he still needed to take care of when he got back. Buzzed, maybe even a little tipsy was the most he was going for tonight. Jungkook though seemed to have different plans.

“I’m fine…” Jungkook sighed as he downed another shot. 

Yoongi didn’t want to refute it, this was their first time drinking together, so it’s not like they knew each other’s limits. But he should have trusted the very fact he had eyes and knew that he was drinking way beyond just getting buzzed or even tipsy. 

Jungkook could hardly keep his eyes open by the time they were leaving. Yoongi had to be the one to put his coat on, and he practically had to carry him outside back over to the bench they were sitting at earlier. It was also Yoongi who texted Dae-Jung to come pick him up after Jungkook mumbled something about texting him when he asked if he had any plans on getting home.  

Dae-Jung was here not too long after, but by then Jungkook was pretty much passed out on the bench. He seemed to notice Jungkook was incapacitated and came jogging out of the car over to the two of them. He didn’t look much older than Jungkook— he had sharp eyes and a short haircut that Yoongi thought only added more to the “professional image” of an employee to the CEO’s son. He was also wearing a suit with a white turtleneck underneath.

“What happened?” Dae-Jung asked concerningly.  

“He had way too many. I should have stopped him, I’m sorry.” Yoongi said remorsefully.

“You’re fine… this was his choice and unfortunately this happens too many times these days. Thank you so much for looking after him.” Dae-Jung sighed before heading over to pick Jungkook up. 

Yoongi was just going to bid them both farewell, but Jungkook must have woken up a little because as they passed by, Jungkook grabbed onto Yoongi’s sleeve. 

“We— we should take him home.” Jungkook slurred lazily to Dae-Jung as he weakly pointed at Yoongi. Yoongi and Dae-Jung both looked at each other before back at Jungkook.

“You really don’t—”

“I don’t mind, unless you planned on driving back.” Dae-Jung huffed, as he repositioned Jungkook on his shoulder so he wouldn’t fall over.  

Yoongi shook his head.

“Hop in then.” And that’s how Yoongi ended up riding home with them. Jungkook passed out again as soon as they managed to get him in the car. Jungkook’s head rested against the window and his light snores were more than amusing in Yoongi’s buzzed state. 

Luckily, Yoongi didn’t live too far away, and it felt like in no time they were pulling up right outside Yoongi’s apartment building. 

Yoongi thanked Dae-Jung and said goodbye to Jungkook even though he was completely gone. 

Dae-Jung took charge from that point forward. Jungkook and Yuri lived a little further away, fortunately it was late and there wasn’t much traffic, so they managed to make it within thirty minutes. Dae-Jung helped Jungkook out of the car as they stumbled their way up to the apartment. With his aid, Jungkook was able to take off his coat and suit jacket, before they stumbled toward the other bedroom— Jungkook always preferred staying there when he was this drunk.

Yuri hadn’t been there to urge him to stay in their own room anyway. He doubted she would have.

Jungkook was out once again, sleeping far past his alarm, and unsurprisingly he was late to work the next day. He was a mess, his head hurt with every move he made, and all he could think about was how much of a disappointment he turned out to be. He’d messed up everything in his life, and there was no way out at this point. 

Every day was a waking nightmare, and he just wanted it to end.

•────•──────────•────•

You both were normally so careful when it came to sneaking off to the storage room. You would always wait a few minutes in between before heading inside, and you even had to do the special knock in order to verify it was each other. This time though, you were in a rush. 

Jungkook wasn’t too far ahead of you as you walked swiftly behind him, making sure to keep enough distance between you both, but he wanted you to be quick. With how fast he was moving, you could hardly keep up by the time he was turning the corner to the hallway where the storage room was. You waited a few seconds, then as inconspicuously as you could, you made your way down the same hallway. You didn’t even manage to get the full knock in when the door swung open, and you felt a hand grab your wrist to hastily pull you inside.

Before you even realized, your back was suddenly up against the wall and you were staring right into Jungkook’s eyes. He was close, his hands were right by your sides against the wall. You watched his eyes drift down and scan over your form before they returned to meet your own once again. Even in the dark, his pained expression was obvious.

Jungkook couldn’t stand another moment apart from you so he moved his hands to rest on your waist as he pulled you close to finally meet your lips. You could instantly taste the beer on his tongue as things quickly grew more intense. 

That was new. Is that what this was?

You really had no idea how things had moved so fast. You were leading a meeting only a few minutes prior; a rare one Jungkook needed to attend. He’d been making eyes at you as he sat at the head of the table, and while a part of you couldn’t lie it made you a little hot, this was a meeting; a meeting with a lot of other people around. Maybe the beer was the missing piece to this puzzle, it explained why he was so shamelessly eyeing you in front of everyone. It’s a bit strange though— it was only the afternoon, why was he drinking that early?

As soon as the meeting finished, Jungkook stayed behind and just as you were picking up your laptop to leave, Jungkook stopped you in your tracks. 

“Wait!” His bright, round eyes stared up at you, pleading almost with his gaze.

You quickly looked around. It’s not like this meeting room really had walls; the ones that faced the office were made up of thick panes of glass organized in a horizontally striped pattern, alternating between clear and frosted glass. The parts that were frosted were larger, but anyone who looked hard enough in between could see you both. You had no idea what he wanted, but you were a little worried.

“Yes?” You clutched your laptop tight to your chest.

Jungkook’s eyes trailed down his lap before he looked back up at you. “Would you have time to go to the storage room quickly?” His voice was soft, but he seemed desperate.

You looked at him a little confused. Usually there would be some type of heads up. “Right now?” 

“It’s ummm… it’s an emergency…” His eyes glanced down again before looking back at you. 

And that’s how you learned Jungkook should be forced to wear sunglasses all the time because why, why did all it take was him looking at you like that to make you so easily agree? You thought you were stronger than that, but apparently you were a lot easier than you wanted to admit since that was all you needed to give into his pleas. Your legs practically acted all on their own as you speedily ran back to your office to put your laptop back before you somehow caught up to Jungkook making his way to the storage room.

In short, that’s how you ended up here.  

His hands eagerly raked up your sides, tugging at your blouse and skirt as they sensually traversed along the fabric. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he practically stuffed his tongue down your throat before you could even process the situation you were in. His kisses were full of more and more desperation and wanting each time his lips met your own. You were never going to get used to how passionately he’d kiss you. It hastily took your breath away, and the heat you felt from the meeting earlier exploded into an even greater fury the longer you were in his arms.

Jungkook suddenly hiked your leg up to his waist, and at this angle you could feel the very reason why he was moving so fast. 

“Wh-what’s got you so worked up?” You moaned lightly, your body on fire from the tingles that surged through you. 

“You.” Jungkook hurried out in between kisses. “Your existence,” a callback to a running problem in your relationship, this time spun a little more sweetly. The stark answer made your cheeks burn in a way you weren’t prepared for. You tried to brush it off with a smile. 

“I’m serious… something’s up with you today.” Something was clearly up— Jungkook’s kisses trailed off your cheek and down your neck where he lightly sucked across your skin. You definitely knew he wasn’t being careful about not leaving any marks.

Jungkook wasn’t really in a talking mood, much preferring to enjoy your whines as his mouth worked on your neck and eager his hips met your own. You always made such pretty sounds. Then when your hands moved to thread in his hair, now he really wasn’t in a talking mood. He couldn’t help but think this wasn’t going fast enough.

“Jungkook?” You questioned the longer the silence went on, gripping his hair tight to get his attention, making him moan into your skin.

Oh.

“Your meeting was hot.” He groaned just thinking back to it, adding to the fact that he really liked it when you played with his hair.

You laughed at that. “And what about spreadsheets, pie charts, and Excel made you this hot and bothered?” It was a funny thought. You were somewhat joking, but you weren’t one hundred percent sure what he was into. Maybe that was actually his thing. 

You weren’t expecting the soft, but noticeable bite on the nape of your neck. It didn’t hurt, and you could practically feel his smile across your skin. You yelped slightly at the sensation.

“It’s not that—” Jungkook ground into you a little harder and you could easily feel him right where you wanted. “You feel that? This is your fault.” Jungkook’s voice was a little shaky and his words slurred together from how much he was pushing into you.

You couldn’t stop the moan falling from your lips at his words. This was new. Jungkook was normally so shy, he never was this blunt and you weren’t prepared at all for this new side. What was going on?

It was probably the beer. That was the only explanation. 

“I kept— kept thinking about how much I wanted to fuck you on the meeting table.” Jungkook groaned into your skin. It was a dirty thought, one that made his cheeks burn because he was in public and he was supposed to be focusing on your words. He could hardly pay attention as his mind bounced back and forth between admiring your presentation skills to thinking about what it’d be like to take you right there on the table in front of everyone.

At this point, you feared he was drunk. This was completely unlike him.

You tried to ignore how on fire your cheeks were. “Does that mean you didn’t pay attention to anything I said?”

“If I say yes will you do the whole thing again, just the two of us?” He was normally never this bold. He was already making work of getting your shirt loose, managing to get a few buttons undone with his shaky hands, enough to see your black bra come into view. Jungkook couldn’t take his eyes off you and wished so much he could see you a little better. He kissed your neck and steadily made his way down your chest.

“Oh— wha—” He could probably sense you were about to say something, so instead of letting you continue the banter, he moved back up to kiss you.

It was brief but enough to quickly take your breath away before he pulled away and buried himself in your shoulder.

“Y/n— I don’t, fuck, I don’t think I can wait— could you take me now?” Jungkook would never normally ask this. Yuri would be so disappointed if she knew he did. He always liked to take care of you in some shape or form before he did anything to you, but today… today…

And you could feel his impatience. No wonder he called it an emergency in the meeting room. And if that wasn’t enough, clearly something must be in the air today because Jungkook was showing you a completely new side to him.

“I’m really sorry— I can try and do more if you need it, I just—”

“Jungkook, please just fuck me.” This little talk was honestly all you needed to get going.

You didn’t need to tell him twice. Jungkook was already kissing you once again as he tried his best to guide you both to the table. It took a bit of work, Jungkook was more than distracted, but eventually he could feel the plastic surface behind you. He wasted no time flipping you over so your hands were planted on the table and your ass was pressed right where he needed you. 

“I’ll try and make this quick.” But that wouldn’t be too much of a challenge. He needed you and today things were even worse than usual. 

You nodded as you heard the swift sounds of his belt coming undone. He normally was uncoordinated, the need always clouding his senses making even the simplest tasks seem impossible, but today it was even worse. The alcohol surely didn’t help in his struggle.

You could hear him growing frustrated as he wrangled with his belt while lightly grinding into you. He was subtle, but his cute whines were still evident.

“Cmon, please, please, please—” He cried. His eyes were a little watery. Yes, it was this serious for him, he was so close to feeling you, but once again the hurdle of the belt and pants got in the way.

Eventually, things were finally going his way. The belt came undone, his pants unzipped, and finally he was free to feel you. Jungkook was on you in a haste, his hands working fast at pulling up your skirt— even in the dark the view nearly made him lose it; from your thigh highs coming up your legs to your black panties, and the position you were in… Fuck, the arch in your back made you look so ready for him. He was so weak.  

Jungkook quickly tangled himself around you. While one hand was on your waist to keep you steady, his other hand was in your panties before you knew it; his fingers were eagerly running through your slit.

“Shit!” You gasped, already failing at keeping yourself quiet.

Jungkook was more than surprised to find you were already wet.

“Fuck—” He groaned, as he buried his head in your shoulder, growing more desperate by the second, already imagining what it would be like to be inside you. 

“I’ll be quick— I’m sorry…” He sighed as he started lining up behind you, rubbing himself along the dampness of your panties. Only then did he remember something he had completely forgotten till now. 

“Jungkook, please—”

His eyes quickly grew teary realizing how bad this was. “Wait— wait, I don’t have a condom.” He quietly cried. 

This got you to pause. “Wait, what?”

“I forgot to buy more…” He didn’t have any left whatsoever. Not even a brief, awkward pause to run back to his office would save him. The last time you were together was when you both made it through the last of the box he bought a few weeks ago. Jungkook had made the note to get more after work, but Yuri had texted him that day saying she was home and he completely forgot about anything else.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Jungkook continued to lightly rub his achy cock along the damp fabric between your thighs. You were so wet. 

Shit.

He wasn’t thinking straight at all. You both really should be careful. He thought you two would never be in a situation like this again after he bought condoms, but he wasn’t used to buying them regularly; it wasn’t surprising how easily it slipped his mind. The smart thing to do in this situation would be handling both your needs in some other fashion than being inside you. There were a million ways to get off, it wasn’t the end of the world, but—

“Are you still—”

“Yes! We don’t need one if you’re fine with that.” You hurried out, not even needing him to finish the question. It was disappointing how that confirmation was all that he needed to keep going. No more questions, talking, banter, anything, he just had to feel you. 

Jungkook swiftly moved your panties to the side and shakily rubbed his length across your soaked folds. A choked moan fell from his lips at the sensation. He couldn’t take it anymore, the need grew too much to even attempt to tease you further. He hurriedly lined himself up and finally pushed his cock inside you. Jungkook was in such a rush, he was completely unprepared to be reminded how good you felt bare like this.

“Oh fu—” A few tears slipped from his eyes as he basked in your warmth, amazed at how tightly you were wrapped around him.

“Jungkook, oh my g—” You whined as his hand snaked back down into your panties and lightly started rubbing circles around your bud. He wanted to treat you well still, the guilt he felt rushing things was impossible to ignore. 

Jungkook nearly cried, savoring the way you tightened around him. It was grueling to try and keep still. He wanted to go slow for both your sakes, but mainly for you so you’d have that opportunity to get adjusted; he would hate to hurt you due to his own selfish desires.

“Please, Jungkook!” You cried, clamping hard onto the table. Tears had even started to prick your eyes.

“You think you can take me?” He groaned, even though you were practically squeezing him to give you more.

“What about ‘Jungkook, please fuck me’ is so hard to understand?” Your bratty tone was the last straw in snapping his reserve. He roughly pulled out and thrusted back into you, making you both moan out at the sensation. He didn’t mean to be so forceful, but—

“Quiet,” a simple one-word command that Jungkook practically growled into your ear. “You always talk too much.” He sighed as he began his steady pace of rocking into you, never once moving his hand away from your clit.

You nearly screamed at the sensation and quickly had to remind yourself that you were in a storage room at your job, and people weren’t that far away. You had to control yourself, but fucking Jungkook…

Instead of saying anything more, you obeyed like he wanted. It wasn’t like you necessarily wanted to, but as he started increasing his pace, you knew anything that would come out of your mouth at that point would only get you in trouble. 

It was almost mind-boggling that this was the same man you’ve argued, consoled, and talked with over the last month. What was going on?

You kept quiet trying your best to keep yourself under control as he pounded into you from the back. One hand on your waist, pulling you back to meet his hips, the other working tirelessly on bringing you closer and closer to the end. It felt good— more than good, but you didn’t want to admit that. You honestly hated thinking about how good the sex was with him sometimes.

It was only temporary, this would end someday, hopefully soon. This spelled disaster before anything had even happened yet, but deep down, you knew this path would only get more complicated the longer you both kept this going. 

This was bad news, this was bad news, this was bad new— But your warnings were being drowned out by the surge of pleasure running through your body by his hand and his cock that always managed to fill you so well.

Suddenly his pace slightly faltered and his grip on your waist grew tighter. “C-Close—” He fumbled out, trying to steady himself once more.

He knew going into this it wouldn’t last long. That meeting had worked him up in ways that he wasn’t prepared for, he couldn’t even pretend he was better than this. His daydreams were more vivid than anything he used to experience. They were memories. They were dangerous, powerful memories that he couldn’t run from even with his employees all around him. It was pathetic.

Now that he had you to himself, he couldn’t even fake composure. The scene was phenomenal, your skirt bunched up around your waist, your panties clumsily pushed to the side, your thigh-highs he wondered if were getting stained with your juices, and the way your ass would jiggle with each thrust he made. Jungkook could have cum just from his thoughts alone. You felt so fucking good around him, he couldn’t keep it together no matter how slow he tried to move. It was too much, and it wasn’t too long after that he felt himself starting to speed towards his release.

You both were prepared for things to end soon as they always do, but for the first time in the few weeks you both have been sneaking away to the meeting room, you heard footsteps. 

These weren’t the typical footsteps that you both would hear whenever someone would pass by this pretty destitute hallway, no, these footsteps were loud. Instead of just fading as they walked off, they only got louder and louder with each second that passed letting you both know that they simply weren’t going along through the outside hallway, they were getting closer. 

You both instantly froze the longer you realized what that meant. The possibilities quickly ran through your heads. Best case scenario, this was someone who simply took a wrong turn and would be going back pretty soon after they realized that the only thing down here was a storage room. Worst case scenario, the only other people who have access to the room— it was a janitor innocently coming over to get more supplies. 

There wouldn’t be enough time to try and cover yourselves to pretend like nothing perverse had been happening only moments prior. It would simply be the end and the beginning to the hell that would await you. 

Luckily, your question was answered before they even made it to the door and your mind wandered too far. It wasn’t one, but definitely multiple people who were laughing and joking with each other as they got closer.

“What’s down here, hyung?” A younger voice filled the hallway quite clearly. 

“I’ve never been down this hallway before.” Another voice said. 

They were newbies— new people who joined the office and were receiving an in-depth tour of the building by their senior. There should be no reason to panic anymore besides the minor inconvenience, but things were never that simple.

The minute Jungkook heard voices, his first instinct was to pull you close so you were flush against his chest. His hand went over your mouth to keep you quiet, shushing you right in your ear while he was still buried deep inside you. The position, maybe it was the situation, you weren’t exactly sure yourself, but apparently Jungkook hit a button you had that you didn’t know existed.

As the group grew closer you were trying your best to keep calm, but you found it extremely—

“Oh—” Jungkook quickly had to bury himself in your shoulder. You were tightening around him so much, so fucking much. 

“Ok, so what’s down here?” Another person in the group said. You were hardly paying attention anymore, but they were standing right outside the door. 

They were right outside, but no matter what, you just wouldn’t relax around him. Jungkook tried his best to control himself and take steady, deep breaths just until the group left. But they weren’t moving, for whatever reason, this little hallway they found was the best place to be a great hang out spot and get into some random conversation about who knows what. 

“Fuck…” Jungkook cried out as quietly as he could into your shoulder. He wasn’t strong enough at all to do this. You were squeezing him so much, and he had already been close, trying to keep still was—

His hips almost had a mind of their own as they steadily began to pump into your sopping heat. He tried his best to keep his movements small, not to make too much noise, but when he moved that only made it so much worse—

“Sto— please— Y/n!” He was forcing himself to whisper, but it almost felt like he was yelling in the moment. He had to keep calm, but you were making this difficult. Why was this happening?! And somehow, as if things couldn’t get any worse… None of you were listening to what the group outside were saying, not until the point where one distinct voice questioned— “Ok, so the only thing down here pretty much is this storage room?” 

“What do you think is in there?” Someone else said.

“I don’t know. I’ve never been in there before, but I can’t imagine it’s anything that interesting.”

“Let’s seem,” it was the one who sounded a little younger— curious, oh he was so fucking curious because who suggests that? But the distinct sound of the doorknob turning only made Jungkook that much more desperate, his thrusts growing far too hurried for someone who was trying to keep quiet.

Click- click- click— no matter what way they turned, the door wouldn’t open, but the adrenaline you both were running on was unlike anything else.

“Huh… guess it’s locked.”

“Yeah, look, you need to use your badge to get access.”

“We don’t have access?”

It sounded like someone tried, the familiar game-like failure buzz sounded and the sounds of disappointed sighs filled the hallway. 

But you both heard it, and it was a sound of relief as Jungkook felt like he was two seconds away from derailing. They had to leave soon— they had to leave soon— please—

“Anyway, time to move on to the other parts of the tour, no reason to get stuck here.” Someone sounded, probably the senior who was guiding everyone around. Then, the sounds of footsteps steadily grew quieter and quieter. 

Your muffled moans, as Jungkook instantly hurried his pace, grew louder and more desperate right along with Jungkook as his hand went faster and faster. You were so tight…

Their footsteps were still going down the hallway when Jungkook couldn’t stop himself anymore from spilling into your warmth. A muffled cry went into your shoulder as he hastily pumped you full of his cum. It felt like this giant wave crashed over him, it knocked him down and he couldn’t even think about getting back up. He was shaking, hushed cries and curses filling the room, because what the fuck just happened? 

But Jungkook was not in the mood to question it now. In his post-bliss haze, all he could focus on was getting you over the edge as well. Jungkook didn’t waste another second and picked his pace up once again on your clit. 

“Want to see you cum for me…” He lazily whispered in your ear, and all the while his hand was still over your mouth, so all you could respond with was your muffled cries into his hand. You really do talk too much sometimes. 

You had no idea where this was coming from, and your body didn’t either. You had tears in your eyes at how good he felt, and Jungkook could feel them running down onto his hand. 

It didn’t take much until that knot finally snapped and you finished hard around him. You tightened so much around his spent length that as Jungkook was fighting the overstimulation, somehow you were able to easily have him cumming into you again while he worked you both through it like the pathetic man he was.

It was intense, and out of the month this affair had been happening, you hadn't experienced anything like this. You don’t think you ever have. 

You both were rendered messes as slowly but surely you started to come back down. Jungkook nearly collapsed onto you. Your knees felt weak, but you could only imagine what he was feeling having cum so fast right after his first orgasm. 

For a little while, you just listened to your labored breaths. It was like the disastrous calm after a storm. The sun was out, but all that did was highlight the devastating damage left in its wake.

Jungkook was slouched over you, and as time passed your breathing grew more in sync. You honestly didn’t want to move. Something about this moment made your heart hammer painfully in your chest; you figured it was the adrenaline. But eventually, Jungkook found the strength to pull away from you and you hated how you already missed his warmth. To distract yourself, you made quick work at trying to get yourself as presentable as you could again— pulling your skirt down, buttoning up your blouse, smoothing down your hair, and you’d touch up your makeup a little later. 

Jungkook barely managed to get his pants back up and was leaning against the wall, looking more spaced out than ever. In the silence, it made you think about something that you both had unintentionally avoided over the last month. 

“Do you think it might be a good idea to not keep doing this at our job…?” You laughed weakly. “I know they couldn’t get in, but what if that was a janitor.” 

Jungkook opened his eyes and looked at you.

Oddly enough, this affair had never left the office besides that one time you gave him a handjob before a meeting at another company. It was never something you both discussed, it just kinda happened this way. There was this unspoken line that for some reason none of you decided to cross since this started— inviting each other home.

Jungkook might have had his own reasons, but at least for you the office made it less real. Just like the very day you found yourself on Jungkook’s desk, it was almost like there was this haze in the air that made the reality of what you were doing easier to bear. At home— that felt personal— too personal for something that needed to have ended weeks ago, something that should have never started in the first place. Things just seemed easier here, risky yes, but convenient and made it a lot less difficult to convince yourself that you weren’t having an affair with a married man. 

But again, it was risky, and you were bound to get caught one day if this kept going. Maybe you hoped that the last time would really be the last, no need to bring him over, but for some reason you just couldn’t see that happening anymore. It felt more likely one day you both were going to get caught with your pants down by the janitor than you were to end things right now. 

That brush with the possibility, while exhilarating, you knew it was a warning sign from the universe that the next time you both might not be so lucky. 

“You’re probably right…” He sighed. 

“Your place probably isn’t a good idea considering… well, you know… it’s just me at my apartment, no roommates whatsoever, so we could finally have some privacy.” You suggested.

Jungkook slowly nodded, his silence lingered for a while. 

“Unless maybe you’re not comfortab—” 

“No, no, sorry. Your place is fine. It’s probably best to continue things from there then. Next time I guess we’ll meet there.” Jungkook rushed out, but you could tell something was a little off about him. He normally got quiet after things were done, but this was just unlike him.

“Alright, my place it is then.” You sighed. It was weird, you literally just had some of the best sex you ever had, yet Jungkook’s low mood was so easily sucking the new found energy right out of you. 

Silence passed for a little while before you couldn’t take it any longer. “Are you doing ok? I could practically taste the alcohol you drank earlier. Did you go somewhere? Everything alright?” You finally asked, more than a little concerned.

Your eyes bared into him as you waited for his answer. 

Jungkook weakly smiled into the darkness. “Just trying to make it through the day.” 

His answer did nothing but make you more worried, it just confirmed your worst fears. It’s not like he went maybe to some fancy brunch with friends, he was simply day drinking for no other reason than to drown out whatever sorrows he was dealing with.

“Are you drunk, you seem a little…” Off, he’s seemed off all day and that says something, because everything about him was off on a daily basis— today strayed even further from the ordinary.

“Not drunk… just maybe buzzed… no— just a little more than that. I think tipsy, feeling a little…” His voice trailed off as he shook his hand, “Not all there, but not completely gone.”

His answer didn’t surprise you there.

“Maybe you should stay here or head back to your office for a little while and sober up.” You suggested, trying your best to help out. It wasn’t like he was drunk drunk, but it was definitely obvious there was something off about him— you knew that before you had your tongue in his mouth. You worried someone else might realize.

Jungkook sighed. “You’re right… things just feel easier like this…” 

You walked a little closer, beckoning him to continue. 

“It’s just getting harder and harder to make it through… I’m trying, but I’m just so weak. I wish I was stronger.” Jungkook tried to laugh, but his eyes were watery. He was glad you couldn’t see.

But even in the darkness, he noticed your concerned eyes staring up at him. Suddenly you were wrapping your arms around his frame. It wasn’t something he expected as your warmth embraced him in a whole new way, his eyes were wide and for a second the haze of the alcohol dissipated.

“You are strong… You managed to get out of your cozy bed today and brave going through this awful fucking weather to get to work.” You were trying to be funny, and it made you happy hearing Jungkook chuckle. “I’m serious though, just getting out of bed is worth celebrating— don’t say you’re weak because it’ll only make it more true the more you say it.” You said while gently rubbing his back.

Jungkook didn’t say anything for a while, he was just enjoying the feeling of you this close a little too much. “Thank you.” He smiled. He couldn’t say he believed that entirely yet, but it still felt nice hearing someone like you say that. 

“No problem… and sorry—” You pulled back and it took everything in Jungkook not to try and go for another. “You just looked like you needed a hug.”

It probably only took away a hair off of the mountain that was all his problems, but still it helped. “Thank you, really.”

You smiled at him and Jungkook couldn’t stop the weird way his heart twisted in his chest as he stared at you.

“Anyway, I have a Christmas tree I need to go decorate.” You sighed, stretching your tired limbs.  

Jungkook looked at you curiously.

“Apparently, all the teams on the floor are competing this year on who can decorate the best Christmas tree. Director Son is really passionate about it and beating the other teams, so we’re having an unofficial meeting to start working on it.” 

As you spoke, Jungkook’s eyes widened as he remembered that the holidays were approaching fast, tomorrow was the first already. At this, Jungkook’s face fell.

“What, you think it’s stupid?” You questioned and Jungkook quickly shook his head.

“It’s not that—”

“Maybe the fact we aren’t working, because—”

“No… you guys are fine. December is just busy for me, and I don’t know— this year I’m not really too excited.” He sighed. He normally never was, but he knew exactly why this year felt so off. December meant he would have to face his and Yuri’s family again, and as if he couldn’t get any more pathetic, he needed to face them with the knowledge he was cheating on his wife. The “cheery” holiday spirit was just the cherry on top to bring him down. While everyone else was going to be out celebrating, he would be wallowing in his self misery, reflecting and thinking back to what a horrible year this turned out to be. 

“Well, if you want to, you could always join our team in the competition if you need a little holiday cheer.” You were both joking and being incredibly serious. It was evident he wasn’t lying, and you were honestly worried about him. Maybe a little fun is what he needed.

Jungkook laughed. “I’ll think about it.” He wouldn’t, he wasn’t in the mood at all— he’d just bring everyone down with him.

“I hope so.”

You stretched again. “Anyway, were you heading out?” You questioned when he still hadn’t moved. 

“Yeah, I think I’ll head back to the office like you suggested,” he couldn’t deny and say he wasn’t going to try and go for another beer. He recently bought a new pack to restock his fridge, but that was how he ended up tipsy today. He hoped he would get a grip and avoid it though, to actually heed your advice. He had work to do later. “But you can leave first and head out to get tangled in tinsel.”

You both laughed. “No, that’s not me, but I definitely know a few coworkers who I might need to detangle— Taehyung will somehow goof his way into getting wrapped up in decorations, then he’ll end up asking me to unravel him.” You laughed at the thought because, honestly, that would be something that he would do.

You didn’t notice Jungkook slightly frown at the mention of his name.

“Anyway, thank you for being here— sorry for pulling you here so suddenly.” He apologized.

“You’re fine, it won’t matter anymore. We shouldn’t have to worry about getting caught next time.” You smiled.

“Right… till then.” He weakly smiled back. 

Another moment of silence passed, it was almost like you both wanted to say something, but none of you worked up the courage to spit out.

“Till next time then. Take care of yourself, okay?” You pointed a finger at him.

Jungkook just nodded.

“Oh, and don’t forget to eat lunch!” You were saying anything you could think of to keep yourself around just a little longer in case he wanted to spill what he had on his mind. You really were concerned.

Jungkook just nodded again.

You glanced at him worriedly before you started heading to leave. Your eyes maintained their gaze, but you finally broke away and opened the door. With the click of it closing, you were gone.

Jungkook was alone.

In an instant, his eyes crinkled while tears poured out and slipped onto his cheeks. Jungkook quietly clasped a hand over his mouth to muffle the sounds of his abrupt sobs. 

Why does it hurt so much?

He just wanted it to end. Peace, he can’t go on like this much longer. All he wanted was a break from this hellish storm. Does it ever end? Everlasting, boundless, a harsh, brutal storm for the wicked. He couldn’t think of a more fitting punishment for people like him.

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[personasintro]

Mutual Help | 60 pt. 2

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, explicit content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 21.7k+ (both parts)

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

Read part 1 before this!

The tip of your fingers raise up as they hover over his chest. You can feel the warmth coming off his body, calling your shivering self. Goosebumps appear all over your body and you decide to take the heat right here.

The moment your fingers touch Jungkook’s hard chest, it becomes all too real. The warmth, thumps of his heartbeat and the way his chest raises up and down. He’s attentively watching you, wondering what your next step is.

Moving your fingers up, gliding over his damped skin as the droplets fade and sink into the warmth of his tanned complexion. They pause at the line of his neck, where a vein pulses faintly beneath your touch—steady and alive. Your hand slips around to cradle the side of his neck, fingers weaving into his hair you reach as you tighten the grip on it.

Suddenly everything goes still. Breath held and eyes locked, you both move at once as instinct overrides hesitation. Mouths clashing together, you have to convince yourself for a split second that this is happening. The familiarity of his mouth brings you comfort, yet shoots excitement through your entire body as it molds into your lips effortlessly. 

You wonder how you’ve managed to not knock each other’s teeth out. Your body is pressed against Jungkook’s, wet clothes sticking to him as well now. He grips the back of your head, holding you in place as you’re desperate for more.

One minute he’s gripping your hair, bringing a tight pressure to your roots–and suddenly his hands are on your hips, hoisting you up. The impact of your ass hitting the counter makes you groan, though it’s muffled by Jungkook’s mouth. 

Your tongues meet, messy and breathlessly–both of you barely catching any breath but you keep going. Almost as if you’re both scared that if you stop, all of this stops with it. 

You won’t allow that. 

He hoists you up, your mouths glued together as he guides you through the beach house as if he remembers every corner perfectly. Perhaps he does. What he surely does remember is every inch of your body. 

His arms stay securely wrapped around your thighs, holding you up the entire way to the bathroom. Settling you down, you hold onto his biceps tightly to prevent yourself from falling. Your legs feel like jelly, looking for balance that takes a moment.

Jungkook holds your waist until you chuckle lightly, wiping the corner of your lips. They tickle from the intense make-out you’ve just experienced. Watching him back away with a satisfied smirk, he licks his own lips as he tucks thumbs under his waistband. You eat up the sight with hungry eyes, not ashamed to enjoy the sight that gives him enough of a green light–daring him to continue.

He does. 

Even though the clothes stick to his body, as if refusing to give up, he does it effortlessly and the clothes glide down to his ankles. It gathers there and he steps outside it, moving it aside. But that detail is long forgotten as you shamelessly eye his exposed length. 

He’s hard. Something you’ve felt on your way here–but seeing it in person after some time, you’re close to dropping down your knees. 

“Your turn.”

You find his eyes, mirroring just as much hunger as your own eyes have. 

The dress you have on lacks any zipper, which makes it harder to take off especially in its current drenched state. “You might have to help me.”

“Thought you would give me a show.”

“Perhaps next time.”

Now you’re just teasing–both of you rather focusing on the present than worrying about what happens next. You’re not supposed to do this right now. 

He walks up to you in just two steps, careful and slow steps, causing your head to tilt up. He doesn’t kiss you. He doesn’t even touch your face and judging by the light smugness, he’s doing it purposely. Instead, his hands remove the straps, letting them drop down your shoulders. Tugging where the edge covers your chest, he tugs it down. It’s not going as smoothly and for a moment, you giggle as he wiggles your body ever so slightly. 

A soft chuckle rumbles but all amusement fades as he drops onto his one knee, tugging the dress down your breasts and waist. Exposing your perked up nipples, begging for attention–the dress pool down at your feet. 

Suddenly he stands up, eyes dropping down your figure as he wipes his bottom lip with his thumb. “God, I’ve missed this sight.”

That pleases you very much. Finding more boldness in you, you trail finger down his abs. “You know what I missed?”

Before he answers, you drop down to your knees–living for his speechless and admiring state. It boosts up your confidence even more, not in submission but in power. The kind of power that comes from knowing exactly what effect you have. 

Your confidence isn’t loud or forced. It’s not proving anything. It’s simply there—in your posture, in your gaze, in the easiness of your movements. You know you're seen. You meant to be seen.

“Fuck.” Jungkook mutters, closing his eyes and you take it as an opportunity to wrap your hand around his cock.

Giving him a few teasing pumps, you hear him silently curse under his breath. 

“You’re a fucking tease.”

Not answering, deciding to show him in actions rather than words, you welcome him in your mouth. That makes him pry his eyes open, no matter how much they beg to stay closed and bask in the ecstasy you bring him. Familiary and knowingly, he grips your hair at the back of your head and tries his best not to fuck your mouth. 

Tears spring in your eyes as he’s getting too deep in your throat. Your knees start to burn as they rub against the tiles, but it’s pushed aside as you feed off his reactions. Vulnerable, raw and beautiful. 

“Fuck, ba–” he stops himself and you swear your heartbeats skips a beat. “Okay, stand up.” 

You stare, frowning a little because that’s not what you were planning. He begs you with his eyes. “I’m not gonna cum so quickly.”

“You would?” you feign surprise, even though it does surprise you a little. Teasingly, you fumble with your fingers as you give him an innocent look.

He purses his lips, “It’s been a while.”

It has been for you too. 

“Don’t look so shocked.”

“Do I?” you question, not moving an inch as he closes the proximity and presses his thumb on your nipple. 

You bite down your lip, quicking your breaths. 

“You had orgasms, didn't you?”

He shakes his head with a smile, “My hand doesn’t do its job. Not like you do anyway.”

“Jungkook.” you whisper at the confession, growing weaker each second and every time he confesses such things. 

He’s always been doing a perfect job at that. Most men would be embarrassed, seeing it as a potential weakness. They’re the men right? Women crumble beneath their feet. They’re the weakness. Not women.

It’s not like that with Jungkook. 

He’s not doing it from pure horniness. He’s honest and unafraid to say it–even show it. 

One second his hand plays with your nipple, the second it’s between your legs and cursing once he feels the wetness coating his fingers. 

“Just–”

“Hm?”

“–just fuck me.” you almost beg, not caring how desperate you sound. 

He listens. He connects your lips and backs you into the big shower. He turns the tap and cold water coats your bodies as you shriek in shock. 

“Jeon!”

He laughs, “Sorry. Haven’t heard that one in a while.”

He backs you to the wall, eyeing you like a prey. 

“Jeon?” you ask, “Pretty sure you’ve heard it recently.”

“Not in this way anyway.”

“What way?”

“Playful. Seductive.”

“Seductive?” you giggle.

“Yeah,” he nods, hand finding its way back between your lips. You bite onto them harshly, moaning. “Though I prefer Kook.”

“How about Kookie?” you manage to get out through moans as he slips finger inside your walls. 

He grips your neck, gently but his touch is there. “Don’t mess with me.”

Shaking his head, he does so as if he wants to remove everything that involves the one nickname you’ve never called him. It’s so fun to tease him, especially in this position. He hoists up your thigh over his hip, holding it there harshly as he adds another finger. 

“Fuck–I’m not–” You don’t even get to finish sentence, totally crumbling under his touch. He kisses your cheek bone, nibbling on your earlobe next and before you realize, you’re coming undone in seconds. 

Hand wrapping around his wrist as he slows down his pace, you breathe and open your eyes, realizing the water is lukewarm and no longer cold. Wrapping your arm around his neck, you bring him closer and kiss him. 

“Now fuck me.”

“You sure?”

“Did you bring me in here and get naked just for this?”

He laughs, “Just for this? Ouch. You came in under a minute.”

You gasp, “It was more than a minute.”

He shakes his head teasingly, not saying anything about it. “It’s fine. I would’ve too.” 

And you know he’s not talking about being in your position, boosting his ego. He’s talking to you on your knees and sucking him off. 

“Now turn around and let me fuck you.”

You obey without any complaints, gasping as he holds your hips and pushes you to him. Your palms slide down the tiles and try to hold your balance there. You can feel his cock against your ass cheeks, hovering there and twitching at the contact of your skin.

“Listen–” he starts, “I don’t have–”

You turn around, eyes barely opened as your walls clench around nothing, wetness sliding down your thighs. His eyes meet yours as they slowly move down between your bodies. Realizing he’s talking about the lack of protection, you’re not sure if you’re touched that he hasn’t brought any of those–for whatever reasons–or bothered that he even mentioned it and you didn’t even think of it.

“Fuck me, Jungkook.”

Both of you know what this means. You’re consumed by the lust and excitement, not wanting to waste another second. Somewhere outside, you can hear rain pouring even through the droplets hitting your bodies and shower tiles.

No words exchanged, just the touch on your hips that is reassuring that he’s right there and he’s not going anywhere anytime soon. It’s a faint touch, almost unnoticeable, but you feel it clearly as his thumbs give your skin a soft caress. 

That’s all you feel before he slowly starts entering you. Both of you curse, stopping any movements to catch a breath. 

“You good?”

“Yeah, just go slow.” you assure him, breathing out as you could cry from feeling him like this again. You never thought it would happen, not any time soon anyway, even though deep inside you’ve always hoped for it. 

He moves deeper and slow just like you asked, filling you up to the brim as you feel a deep groan behind you. Your muscles relax, begging for more and with no words needed, he pulls out and thrusts in. Each time quicker and more deep, using your moans as his personal guide.

The slap of skin meeting echoes in the bathroom, your moans joining in as his grunts and touch become heaven to your senses. Bodies colliding, he reaches for your breast and plays with it, grasping it tightly as he gives your ass a loud wet slap. 

“Fuck–you’re perfect.”

You want to tell him to shut up. Purely because it’s enough to make you come and you beg mentally. Please let this last longer. It can’t be forever but just a little bit longer. A little bit more. 

Your mind goes pathetic over him.

He fucks you hard, each movements becoming more erratic and passionate–causing you to hold yourself against the tiles with hands spread, preventing your head from smashing agaisnt the wet tiles. Your breasts move with each thrust, feeling his fingers digging into the skin of your ass and hips, wondering if it's going to bruise later. 

It doesn’t hurt in a bad way. It brings you closer to the edge if anything. 

“I’m gonna–” He groans, not being able to finish as he’s too close to reaching his high. Instead, he kisses down your neck and gently bites the skin there.

“Come inside.” 

“W–what,” he stutters, wondering if he’s heard you right.

If you’ve wanted to try this, now is the right time. He’s the right person to do it with. Or perhaps your mind is clouded with lust, not really thinking of your actions. But you don’t care. You need him. You need to feel all of him. 

And if this happens only once–let this be the time.

“Come inside, Kook.”

“Fuck–” 

You barely get to finish your sentence, hearing him curse and go absolutely feral makes your mind blank. It’s ridiculous how out of your body you suddenly feel. It’s like a dream–maybe it’s the lack of sex in your life lately, you desperately tell yourself.

Or it’s just the fact you completely gave yourself to him. It’s just sex. But another world to you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Somewhere in this time, you blabber something out of your mouth, not even sure what you’re saying–your mind completely fucked. You turn your head to the side as you feel Jungkook's mouth on your shoulder, biting you everywhere he has access. As your mouth gets closer, both of your mouths clash together–barely even kissing but making most of it.

Your body tenses and relaxes right after, surrendering yourself to the man behind you as you orgasm all over his cock. Wetness shoots out of you and you shiver, legs growing weak as you suddenly feel warmth exploding inside you. It makes your walls clench repeatedly as Jungkook continues thrusting, filling you to the brim. Mouths just there, not being able to comprehend the rush of lust, unmoving and breathing moans into each other’s mouth. 

He stays there for a second, wrapping his hand around your waist to balance you. He gives your lips a gentle kiss. “I’m gonna pull out, yeah?”

All you can do is nod, a noticeable pulse between your legs. He pulls out gently, kissing your shoulder as he hisses silently at the feeling. You feel wetness pouring out of you, washed by the water as some of it glides down your thighs.

Turning around, Jungkook helps you as your back meets the wall. Both of your eyes’ are barely opened, still bathing in the ecstasy the orgasm has brought. He comes closer, pressing your bodies together as you naturally hug him closer.

“That’s the best sex I ever had,” he confesses.

“Same.” you agree right away, breathlessly, trying to wrap your head around what just happened.

Jungkook steps back, just a little, enough to reach the shower gel he squirts on his palm. Putting away the bottle, he warms the gel between his hands before gently massaging your shoulders. As he spreads the fresh-scented liquid across your skin, you sigh, your body melting beneath his touch.

“I can’t believe we did that,” you whisper, voice barely heard over the sounds of water.

“Regrets already brooming?” he jokes, voice raspy and deep.

You shake your head, closing your eyes for a moment as he works on your muscles, moving down your arms.

“This is one of the few things I won’t ever regret.”

That catches him by surprise—just enough for his eyebrows to lift before they relax, and he looks... relieved.

“I feel the same.” he says, motioning you to turn around. 

You do, not arguing as he massages your back. God, you’re going to fall asleep as soon as your body meets the mattress. 

“I’m starting to understand how most men insist on having… raw sex.”

Jungkook chuckles softly behind you, clearly finding your shyness—and your reluctance to say it—amusing. “So–what do you think about it?”

Your cheeks heat up, acting as if you didn’t just experience it on your own moments ago. “I–I love it.”

Jungkook reaches out, softly cupping your breasts. Your back straightens, breath catching in your throat as his name slips past your lips.

“You can scratch it off your list.”

Your eyes open at that, a playful chuckle escaping your lips. “You remember?”

“I do.”

“The deal is off.” you remind him, as if it’s supposed to mean something. 

“I like to make dreams come through.” 

Something softens inside you. Is it ridiculous to think he’s being thoughtful? Especially when it comes to this topic? His answer is supposed to come out jokingly, yet they hold some truth to it. And you wouldn’t want this to happen with anyone else at the moment. You’re glad it’s him. 

And despite everything–your fears, doubts and who knows what else–you don’t think you will ever regret this decision. 

God. There’s so much happening inside you—like your body’s being electrified from within, in the most incredible way. If you could, you’d let it happen again. And again. And again.

That scares you. But you don’t let that thought hover over your head for too long. 

He moves down your stomach–his touch smooth as silk–there’s nothing sexual about it but you’re fighting back the urge to push him just to have sex again.

Silence follows, just the two of you enjoying each other’s company as Jungkook pampers you. Once he’s done, he gently guides you right after the big square shower head as the water streams washes off the remaining foam.

Your eyes meet, a silent connection between you makes you both smile. As Jungkook goes to reach for the shower gel, you’re faster. You copy his actions from before as his mouth parts in silent surprise. 

“You–”

“It’s only fair I take care of you too.”

He chuckles as his eyes drift downward. You realize you’re witnessing him being shy—which doesn’t happen often—and the sudden realization makes you smirk.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Uh-uh.” You shake your head, spreading the gel across his chest, feeling all the muscles flex beneath your soft touch. “I like to repay.”

“You can barely stand on your feet,” he comments, prompting you to smack his chest. He laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners.

Somehow, with wet raven-black hair and flexing muscles, he manages to look both hot and cute with that toothy grin.

“Thanks to who?”

Now he’s the one who smirks. “I’m not complaining about that.”

“You cocky bastard.”

As your laughter naturally and softly dies down, you move down toward his lower abs where his V line is, wondering if you just should–

“Don’t.”

“Huh?” You’ve been caught. How does he know what you’re thinking of?

“I don’t think you’re ready for a second round.”

You grin, “Is that a challenge?”

“We do have a plan tomorrow,” he reminds, “Besides. Wasn’t this supposed to be a one time thing?”

He’s straight–forward. But you should’ve learned that a long time ago. It’s not a matter of lately, maybe a while after your deal started, but Jungkook has been going straight to the point. 

You gulp, shamelessly admitting; “I could make an exception.”

He smiles, reaching toward your cheek as his thumb rubs your cheek bone. “Tell me tomorrow.”

“Why tomorrow?”

“When your mind is not clouded by the first experience of raw sex.” 

You poke him in the ribs, causing him to flinch as he laughs. “I’m serious.”

“You think I don’t think straight?” you challenge him with a raise of your brow.

“Y/N, the first time I went raw I thought I could go like that until sunrise.”

“Did you?”

You’re not sure if you want to hear about his previous sex life. Is it fit to be discussed in this position? 

“I mean–were you able to…”

He smiles, “Guess.”

You gulp, not sure if the steam comes from the water or from you. 

He finishes your previous task while you shampoo your hair, not caring that you should’ve done it beforehand. It’s not your fault things turned into the best sex of your life.

Still, you can’t help sneaking glances—because, for some reason, Jungkook doesn’t pull you into bed to go another round.

So, rather than just standing there like an idiot waiting for him to wash himself, you turn around and busy yourself.

Out of sight, out of mind… right?

Once you’re both done, Jungkook helps you out of the shower. You’ve clearly underestimated yourself—because the moment you try to take a step, your legs feel like jelly. You can move, but the aftermath of what just happened still lingers.

He wraps a towel around your warm body, steam rising from your skin as if you'd just been extinguished. Both of you start to dry yourselves off and once you’re done, Jungkook hangs towels on a rack, gently taking it from you.

Your eyes start to drop as you make your way to the bathroom, too lazy and sleepy to dress yourself. “Will you mind if I don’t wear pajamas?” 

Jungkook drops beside you on his front, hugging a pillow. “Are you trying to kill me?”

You sleepily laugh, “No?”

“Alright, I will keep my hands to myself.”

I never said you should, you think, but the smile you make says it all. Pulling up the covers, you make yourself comfortable. Within a minute, Jungkook’s comforting scent and slow breathing lull you to sleep.

Your arms brush gently as you both settle close, the warmth of his forearm resting lightly against yours. Neither of you reach for hands, but the quiet contact speaks volumes. Safe and warm–you drift deeper, wrapped in the silence between breaths.

Beach waves come up as your consciousness rises awake, heard in the distance of your opened double wing door. As someone who doesn’t believe in air conditioning turned on while sleeping, you asked Jungkook to open the door instead.

By the time you came out of the shower, the only trace of rain was the fresh air and wet sand you saw out of the window. 

The air is slightly more fresh and a faint breeze brushes past your exposed shoulder. Although, the sun shining through the glass and thin curtains warms your skin. 

Cracking your eyes open, you’re met with bright sun which causes you to squint at the clock beside your bed. 

Fuck! It’s almost eleven. 

One thing's for sure. Your sleep felt like heaven and you not even once woke up during the night. 

“Tell me it’s at least eight.” Jungkook’s groggy and raspy voice resounds from beside you, sheets rustling under his body moving. 

“Hate to disappoint. Close to eleven.”

“Fuck.” he groans. “I could sleep for days.”

You laugh, “Same. Shame we have to leave tomorrow.”

“Mhm,” he hums, coming closer as he presses a soft kiss onto your shoulder. You shudder, smiling immediately and hoping Jungkook can’t see it, so he could brag about it later.

“Jungkook.” you warn him.

“I’m a good boy.”

His actions say the opposite as he presses another kiss. And then another. And another. 

Turning on your back, you push his head away gently and laugh at his pout. “Are you hard or what?”

“I’m getting there.”

And when you least expect it, you feel the pad of his fingers touch your thigh ever so gently. 

He comes closer, lips brushing over your ear. “Are you wet?”

“Maybe,” you whisper, “I’m tired though.” Tired for sex is what you mean.

One movement and Jungkook pulls you closer, your back now facing his chest as you feel his hand between your legs. You might be tired but your legs open on their own, welcoming him there as he chuckles in satisfaction and slightly in a cocky manner. 

“So am I.”

He enters you with his fingers, a soft moan leaving your mouth. No other words exchanged, you grab his wrist after a moment. Jungkook grabs your inner thigh and raises it, entering you gently and slowly. 

Moans fill up the bedroom as he keeps his pace slow, hitting all the right spots in the softest yet meaningful way. The two of you don’t hold for a long time and the pace quickens up with time and each thrust. Moans get louder and breathing harder.

Your hand goes into Jungkook’s hair and you grip it tightly as he kisses your neck, both of you reaching for the high. You come first, just in the right time for Jungkook to pull out and come all over between your legs. 

“Fuck.” he says, breathing into your neck as he kisses you there.

“Mhm, that was good.”

Jungkook stays laying behind you, your hand caging his arm as you hold him. Without any other words, the two of you sleep into another slumber.

It’s way past lunch time, yet here you are.

Jungkook shirtless, freshly out of the shower, making the two of you cereal bowls. The sun casts a golden glow over the kitchen and Jungkook’s skin, reminding you of the beautiful weather outside. 

In other cases, you would say it’s a shame since half of the day is gone. But in this case, you don’t care at all. 

You don’t want to think. You purposely block your thoughts, not allowing them to cloud your mind even if it’s just for a moment. This peaceful vibe should last as long as possible. 

The center of your attention is a man, you don’t want to fight with or discuss things that have been discussed already. He moves with ease around the kitchen, as if it’s his own home and you realize, you barely had a chance to experience the calmness of a morning. 

The first days you tried to experience as much of Hawaii, there was not a place for calmness and then after what happened, you both went kind of separate ways of exploring this incredible island. 

He turns around with a ceramic white bowl, catching your gaze as he cracks a soft smile. Your mouth waters at the sight of the first meal of the day. It’s your fault though. You’ve been ignoring your rumbling stomach and prioritize more minutes under the sheets. Besides different stuff.

“How about we stayed a little longer?” 

He gently pushes the bowl in your direction, swiftly turning around and grabbing his own. Palm covering the entire bottom of the bowl, Jungkook starts eating while standing as he chuckles at your surprised look of bewilderment. 

“W–How?”

Jungkook’s jaw hardens as he munches on the cereal, shrugging lightly as if his simple suggestion is exactly that… simple. 

“I’ll call the resort and see if we can stay longer.”

“But what about our flight?”

“We won’t go. I’ll book a different flight.”

You stare, brow raised at the simplicity of it all. But from your point of view, it’s anything but simple. 

“What about the money?” you state the obvious, “It will just be out of the window–just like that.”

Jungkook continues eating, his head pointing toward your very late breakfast, urging you to eat. Hesitantly, you grab a spoon and start eating. 

“I will pay for it.”

“No!” you protest with a full mouth. “Are you crazy?”

“Guess I am,” he grins, “Look. I do think we should stay longer and honestly, I don’t care about the extra money.”

“But I do and I won’t let you pay for my tickets. You’ve already paid enough and you know how much I hate it.”

“Don’t you wanna stay longer?”

You chuckle in disbelief, “Of course, I do. Who wouldn’t?”

“See?”

“Kook–it’s not all that this is about.” 

He smiles.

“Why are you smiling?”

“You called me Kook again.”

You roll your eyes, laughing at the soft sparkles in his eyes that show enthusiasm. “So?”

“I’ve missed it,” he admits and your heart softens. “We came here to relax, have fun… I admit, things have turned out differently than we both wanted when we first came here–but I don’t care about that right now. We still have a few things to do and after all, I want us to remember this vacation as something nice to remember and look back,”

You understand. You do. But you can’t let him just pay for everything and you’re not in a position where you can afford to extend your stay. Out of the friends, he has always been the most responsible with his money which can’t be said about Jimin or Taehyung. 

Jungkook’s reasoning is not silly and you fully understand it. Just the circumstances are a little–inconvenient. 

“Because currently, there are only a few moments I would like to look back on once we’re home.”

Moving your gaze toward the milk, you move your spoon around in it and purse your lips. You just can’t look at those puppy brown eyes that watch you intensively. 

“I might’ve sent an email to the owner, asking if we could stay longer so–”

“Jungkook!” you exclaim in disbelief, almost laughing at the cheeky flush of his cheeks. “When did you have the time to do that?”

Memories of yesterday flash through your mind and you sheepishly smile under your nose, quickly looking at your uneaten breakfast. 

“When you fell asleep. I just knew we should stay longer.” 

He moves closer to you, putting away the empty bowl.

“U-huh.”

“What,” Jungkook laughs but not stopping himself and at your failed attempt to stop him. 

“Don’t come closer.”

“What are you scared of?”

“You,” you point out clearly. “Your attempts to convince me always work–you know I can’t–”

“Resist my charms?”

“I was gonna say can’t say no, but whatever helps you sleep at night.”

He stands behind you now, a deep chuckle resounding from behind you. “We both know what helps.” he whispers.

“Jungkook,” you scold him under your breath.

“Hm?”

“Stop it.”

He laughs, moving away. “I suggest taking a rest today. We could have a swim or go for a walk. And if we stayed longer–see? I’m still letting you decide–we could go to the restaurant that has the best seafood. You once said you wanna try everything they possibly have. I’ve still got some fun things for us to do. If you’re interested in hearing them, I will tell you.”

“You’re annoying.” you grumble. 

“One of my charms as well.”

“That’s one of Taehyung’s–actually I have a few people on my mind.”

“See? So I’m not that annoying after all.”

You bite your lip, watching him go back to his place. 

“I’m scared we will fight again.”

Jungkook’s features soften. Crossing his arms over his chest, he gives you an apologetic smile. “We will do everything in our power not to. No pushing anyone else onto ourselves.”

“Noted.” you nod, embarrassingly from your past mistakes that are still not in the past. 

“So what are you saying? We have a deal?”

You chuckle, “I think we should not make deals anymore. Look at us.”

“Freshly fucked, glowing from the incredible sex? I am looking and I’m loving it.”

Grabbing the used napkin scrunched into a ball, you throw it at his. He catches it, laughing. “So?”

“I will find a way to pay you back.”

He just smiles, refusing you to do so but he doesn’t say otherwise. You both know how this goes. Jungkook can be persistent but also very stubborn. And you hope the only fight that’s possibly waiting for you around the corner, is this. You want to pay him and him declining your every attempt.

“Now eat.” he ushers you, “Your cereal will get soggy and we know you don’t like it.”

“You know what I don’t like?”

“You will tell me all about it but I have to make a call–so now excuse me. Don’t miss me too much, I will be just in the other room. And don’t forget–pool or a walk. Whatever you pick. We have a little bit more time.”

He cheerfully walks away while saying it, waving at you from behind as you watch him with the biggest smile. Laughing under your breath, you start eating. Your mouth turns downwards at the sogginess of your breakfast, but you dig into it right away.

Jungkook has managed to successfully extend your stay. You’re yet to inform your friends about it, knowing they’ll ask unnecessary questions. Jimin is supposed to pick you up, so you’ll have to let him know eventually and soon enough. 

The morning had to be the best morning you’ve experienced in a while. Just the thought of it makes your cheeks warm. There’s a lingering wooden scent of Jungkook lingering on your skin, even after the shower you’ve taken. Must be your hair that you haven’t bothered to wash. 

It’s like he imprints himself in your skin every time something like this happens.

And here’s that word. Every time.

You’ve tried so much to put a pause on this, too afraid to lose the remains of friendship the two of you have. Is this a real friendship? Jungkook is still the same man you’ve known for years now. But the memories and paths you’ve both taken are completely different. 

No. No. No. No.

Don’t overthink it. Don’t name it.

Just live in the present and you will deal with it later. 

After the late breakfast, you’ve taken a walk along the beach. Bare feet and tangled hair with the breeze cooling down your warm skin. You’ve talked about a bunch of random things. 

You like that. 

You’ve missed that.

You just roamed around the Island, its street and it made you feel light. You’ve bounced right back where you were, pushing all the stupid arguments you’ve managed to have here in the back of your head. That goes for all of you. 

Yet it doesn’t feel staged or you’re trying to get better purposely. It feels natural. Like everything has been sort of wiped away by the gentle touch and kisses you’ve shared. 

Jungkook has made a plan to take you to dinner. You’ve gushed about wanting to try more seafood even before you’ve boarded the plane. He remembered. 

His thoughtfulness and kindness makes you want to rip your hair off for your past intentions. It was a bad decision that was supposed to be a good one. 

Putting down the compact mirror you’ve brought outside to do your make-up, you wipe off the remains of your red lipstick on your point finger. You like to dab it in to make it look more blended out. 

Glancing back through the open slide door, you find Jungkook laughing at his phone. His features crinkle in an unguarded and sincere way you’ve grown so used to. 

Is it something he’s watching?

And then you hear a faint voice of his, inaudible for you to hear what he's saying and for a quick moment, you think of someone who has made him laugh. That thought of her alone makes your stomach squeeze and hundreds of thoughts start to race in your mind.

Shutting them down, you grab your make-up bag and toss the mirror inside it. 

“Right–thanks. Bye!” Jungkook waves at the phone and before you can make out who it was, the call’s over.

And then there are those thoughts again. Before you let them in once again, you simply just ask. 

“Who was it?”

Jungkook looks up, noticing your presence and he’s quite out of words. He stares, eyes dancing across your face before they take your entire figure in – slowly and deliberately, like he’s seeing you for the first time after a long absence. 

His mouth parts slightly, as if to say your name, but no sound comes out. He just watches you, and for a second, the background noise of waves fades into silence. 

“You look–” he stops, “Wow.”

A rush of heat blooms the apple of your cheeks and your gaze falls down your figure. “It’s–nothing.”

Both of you know that’s a lie. 

You’ve opted for a tight dress with a little gathering around the waist. It has a creme yellowish color, great for Hawaii vibes. 

Jungkook shakes himself out of daze to stand up. Tossing the phone back on the couch like it’s the least interesting thing on the planet, like he hasn’t had his eyes glued to it just a minute ago.

He comes closer and your stomach clenches, knowing that whenever he’s this close you’re a fucking mess. 

“I’m starting to get scared every time you get close.” It’s supposed to come out as a joke, a faint chuckle leaving your lips but it sounds nothing like it. It’s a confession said in a light almost scandalized tone.

“Why?” he chuckles, “Am I that irresistible?”

That cracks a laugh on your lips, gently nudging his chest. But he catches you by your wrist, leaving them against his chest as you feel his heartbeat underneath the layer of cotton. It’s rhythmic, calm and nothing like yours. 

“You’re unbelievable.” 

He smiles, eyes not leaving yours.

“It’s just–you’re dangerous.”

Every time he is close or touches you ever so gently, you crumble. You yearn for his touch, proximity and warmth. He brings you comfort. Disguised as a forgery of silent hopes, pretending it’s just something you’re used to. 

And the look he’s got in his eyes, you’re aware he knows exactly what you mean. He is dangerous. The two of you together are dangerous. 

“You look beautiful.”

You fight it, but the smile stretches on your lips and you have to look sideways, to laugh it off. Amusement spreads across his face and own lips, as he waits for you to look back at him. 

“I rarely see you getting shy.”

“Shut up.” you silence him, this time properly nudging him to play it off cool. He laughs and lets you.

“What kind of compliments have you heard these past few days?” he jokes, causing you to frown at him. “You’re acting as if you never heard one compliment in your life.”

“Yah!” you scold him, trying to fight back a smile. It’s just his face and the fact he’s absolutely having the time of his life to make fun of you. His eyes scrunch at the ends, smile wide and nose scrunched as he laughs.

“I’ve heard lots of compliments.”

“Why are you acting like you haven’t then?”

And you know the answer to that immediately. It’s not what the person says. It’s who the person is. 

“Because they never made me feel like this.”

The confession takes him by surprise, but soon enough is replaced by the smug smile.

“Oh, don’t look so smug!”

“I knew it.” he says triumphally.

“Knew what?”

“You just didn’t vibe with him.”

“Yeah, yeah.” you wave him off, brushing past him to avoid any further mention of Gabriel.

He’s a nice guy and surely, you’ve appreciated his compliments. It’s just that they never quite landed the way they were meant to. Or maybe your mind and everything else is tainted by Jungkook.

“Are you going in a t-shirt?” You change the subject, noticing his choice of clothing he’s had since you came back. Home clothes. 

He glances down, eyebrows drawn in a mix of horror and amusement at the ridiculous thought of showing up to dinner wearing this.

“No. I called the guys, and told them about us staying a little longer.”

Your ears perk up at that, “What did they say?”

“You mean were they questioning the sudden change? Of course. Just told them we weren’t able to see everything we wanted.”

“Wasn’t Taehyung–I don’t know–suspicious?”

“He was teasing as usual. Why?”

You shrug, scratching your forearm in a subtle way. “I sort of told him we were–having a hard time?” you sheepishly admit, “I just told him that I made a mistake.”

Jungkook tilts his head to the side, visibly sensing your sheepishness and uncertainty stirred by the details you shared with Taehyung.

“And we’re past it, yeah?” he assures you, smiling in the process. 

Nodding in confirmation, he puts a gentle hand over your shoulder, squeezing it. “Then don’t worry about it.”

“What I meant to say before, is that no, I am not wearing this.” he laughs, “We got caught up in a talk. Jimin is at Taehyung’s right now, you know how it is with them. Especially when Taehyung starts talking.”

You laugh, “Yeah. Go change or we’re gonna be late!”

“Yes, ma’m.” he salutes. 

Laughing in disbelief, you watch him disappear behind the bedroom’s door. In the meantime, you prepare your heels for the night and browse through your phone. Jungkook finishes getting ready in a few minutes, clasping his watch on his wrist as he joins you in the main room.

It amazes you how men are able to get ready quickly. You’re not someone who takes an eternity to get ready, but men are on a quick mission here.

He looks effortlessly amazing—he even managed to slick some gel into his hair to sweep it off his forehead. He’s dressed in a crisp, lightweight linen shirt—its creme white fabric contrasts with his tanned complexion. The top buttons of his shirt are casually undone, revealing more of his skin. 

He catches your gaze, raising a curious brow. 

Before he can ask, a smirk decorates your lips as your voice is intertwined with amused romance. “You look beautiful.”

He catches onto the joke, you repeating his previous words and the conversation he teased you so much about. He scrunches his nose, yet a playful smile warms up his face as he shakes his head at you.

“What? Too girly?” you tease.

“I’m not sure if any man wants to be called beautiful.”

“How would you want to be called?”

“Try more masculine compliments.”

“Such as? Handsome?”

He laughs, “Yeah, that could work.”

“Or–fucking hot?” 

His eyes light up, clearly savoring that one more for sure.

“Irresistably hot?”

“Keep them coming and we won’t make it to dinner.”

You almost choke up, giggling as he reaches for the leather loafers. They’re black, sleek but breathable for the warm evening.

“Is this how much it takes to wind you up?”

“No. It’s those eyes you’re giving me.”

What eyes, you want to ask. However that would be pointless, because you both know exactly what eyes he means. Even though you thought you were being more subtle about it, it turns out he reads you effortlessly and despite so much happening in the past few days, everything seems to be just the same. 

“What. We are coming here?” Despair laced in your voice, you screech in horror once you spot the familiar place you’ve visited just yesterday. 

You fidget with the car’s door handle nervously, not really convinced to eat here out of all restaurants. Jungkook is faster than you, opening the car’s door for you like the true gentleman he was raised to be. 

“Why here?” You can’t help but ask. 

He remains calm, undoubtedly has heard you now and before. He shuts the door just as gently, your question hanging in the air for a moment. “I was meant to take you here before.”

“Oh,” Your eyes widen at the new information. “You were?”

He sighs, almost as if he’s not very pleased to share further details. “I reserved it for us.”

It brings bitter memories and you realize that’s why. The ‘us’ holds a meaning and your mind goes spiral, before you settle on a possibility that could be true. 

“When?” you ask. It’s simply questioned but there’s an urgency that wants you to prove you’re right.

Even Jungkook looks at you with that look that says ‘You’ve figured it out’.

“Yesterday.”

The night he took Nara instead. That was for you? You were supposed to be at that table?

For a short while, your eyes close gently in disappointment of how everything has turned out to be worse. The night he planned for you in advance for you just to blow it. You both ended up going with different people.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he chuckles gently. 

“For how it turned out.”

His eyes soften, diving into that expression of despair and regret. 

“Well, don’t be.” he says simply, causing you to mockingly chuckle. 

If it was that easy. 

It’s not like you blame yourself for everything. Both of you acted stupid and things escalated. You might’ve started it but you’re both to be held accountable. 

“Besides, I reserved a table again to make better memories here.”

“Better memories?” you question with doubts laced in your voice. He gives you a questioning look, silently asking you to elaborate. “You didn’t seem as if you weren’t having fun the first time.”

He rolls his eyes. “It wasn’t going how it was meant to be.”

“And how was it meant to be?” 

He clacks his tongue against his inner cheek as annoyance crosses over that handsome face. “We both know how. I’m not talking about Nara.”

Your heart jumps at that happily, mocking her pleasantly in your mind. God, you really can be awful sometimes!

“Wipe that smug look off your face.”

Gasping, you stutter over your words – ready to come up with a set of lies. 

“Come on, we’re gonna be late.” He ushers you, effortlessly dismissing your weak attempt to prove him otherwise. 

All you can do is to follow him in the tracks with a sour look on your face, mainly caused by a light embarrassment of him just knowing. He awaits for you at the entrance, motioning for you to go first as the front door is being held open by the doorman. At least there’s a different person that greets you.

The idea of them realizing you both came here with different people twice makes you sheepish but laugh at the same time. 

As you enter the restaurant, you can’t shake off the feelings you’ve felt here. It’s like a bitter reminder of what happened that evening–both of you coming here with different people. And now that you know it was meant to be you and Jungkook all along, it lifts the weight of the bitterness. 

This is Jungkook’s try and your chance to make this memorable. Because god, this restaurant deserves it. Their reviews say it all–it’s a shame your own experience started as it did. Not that the evening wasn’t nice–or Gabriel–but it simply just reminds you of your previous situation. 

The host greets you with a warm smile and a fresh orchid pinned to his linen white shirt. Jungkook gives him his name which makes the host hum in confirmation as he checks the paper. Right away, you’re being guided down the porch as the familiar tables and scenery welcomes you. 

The main dining area is lively and elegant, just as you remember it to be. The scent of plumeria and grilled seafood fills the air, and a live ukulele player strums gentle melodies that drift on the salty wind.

“Where are we going?” you whisper, hand grabbing Jungkook’s forearm for support as you’re being guided through a stone path, the turquoise ocean now dark as the moon shines bright. 

“You will see.” he whispers back, copying your tone as you roll your eyes and admire the beauty around you. 

As you follow the curved stone path, flanked by dancing torchlight and vibrant hibiscus, the lively hum fades, giving way to a hush meant for two.

You get a perfect sight of a private cabana, see a similar one in the distance, as your mouth drops. The cabana is open-air, you would guess it’s mostly designed for couples seeking intimacy. Each cabana is its own little world: standing on the beach and close to the ocean, with sheer white curtains that can be drawn for privacy or left open to the breeze.

A candle glows on the polished wooden table between two wicker chairs, while faint music hums quietly from somewhere just out of sight. Unlike the bustling main space, the private dining area feels hushed and timeless. 

The hosts motions for the cabana, “This one’s for you. You have a special server that is available to you throughout your stay here.”

Speechless and out of breath, you squeeze Jungkook’s forearm as if you begged him to pinch you. Is this how it would feel like dating Jeon Jungkook on a daily basis? 

As the host gives you a respectful nod and bids his goodbye, telling you to enjoy the dinner, a server approaches with graceful ease—barefoot on the soft wooden decking, his movements quiet and fluid, as if not to disturb the moment. 

He wears a crisp, short-sleeved white shirt tucked neatly into tailored linen trousers, the fabric light and breathable in the coastal air. Similar to the ones they were at the main dining area. 

A single orchid is tucked behind one ear, certainly a subtle nod to island tradition.

“Good evening,” he says, bowing his head slightly. “Welcome. May I offer you a glass of champagne to begin?”

“I never want to wake up.” you whisper, hearing Jungkook chuckling lightly.

“Champagne?”

“Mhm.” you squeak, dropping down onto the chair where a plush cushion softens your impact. 

The server pours you a champagne, lightly dropping a strawberry into the glass. He pours it professionally and stands with a perfect posture. 

“Take your time,” he says warmly. “I’ll be just nearby if you need anything—but I’ll give you your space to enjoy the evening.”

He offers you multi-course meals designed to be shared—chilled oysters on the half shell, fresh ahi poke with sesame and avocado, buttery seared scallops, grilled Kona lobster drizzled with a sauce you don’t remember the name of. 

“Yes, thank you. That will be great.” Jungkook smiles, sitting down as he adjusts the sleeves of his shirt.

The server offers a small nod, then steps away quietly, leaving only the sound of waves and soft music in his place.

“What the–” you stop yourself, looking around to check where the server is. You spot his back as he silently walks away to bring you your food and undoubtedly, give you some privacy. “Fuck!”

Jungkook chuckles. 

“What is this, Jungkook?”

He sits back, sucks in his bottom lip as he shrugs. “I wanted something more fancy and this is all they had.”

“This is some kind of place you propose to someone,” you whisper–yell, too shocked to even comprehend what you’re experiencing at the moment. “You’re not planning to propose, are you?”

Jungkook laughs, resting his hand against the clean table as he gently taps his fingers. “No. I am not proposing to you.”

“Good,” you hum, leaning back. He seems to be amused by your reaction, hiding a grin as he keeps watching your awe. “God, Jungkook.”

“You don’t like it?” 

You look at him as if he was crazy. “This is straight out of some kind of movie–or something. I love it–but wow–I can’t believe you’ve pulled this off.”

“Good. One more minute and I would think you hate it here.”

You give him a nasty look, pursing your lips. “How much did you pay for this?”

He leans closer, resting his forearms on the table as he adds with a smile; “None of your business.”

Scoffing, you scratch the top of your ear. “Jungkook… this is one of the nicest things someone has done for me. And I’m not talking about the poshness of this. I just–I don’t think I would ever experience something like this.”

“I am sure you would.” Jungkook says and shrugs as if it’s nothing. You give him a good look at your raised brow.

“You know–this is very romantic…” you note, looking around as your gaze fixes at the lit candle in the end. 

“They don’t really make special cabanas for two best friends who occasionally fuck.”

You start to choke on your saliva, met with Jungkook’s grin as you shake your head. Before you can say anything else, the server comes with a bit of help from someone else from the staff. It’s a woman, she greets you and helps to set up the plates as the fresh scent of sea food fills the air.

Your mouth salivates just from the smell of it. Instead, you reach for the champagne and thank both of them as they finish describing each dish briefly. 

“Jeon Jungkook, I will kill you.”

Jungkook laughs, gulping down the champagne in one go. “Thanks would’ve been fine.”

You both dig into the dishes right away, Jungkook pouring a new champagne out of the iced bucket in the middle of it. 

“To…”

“To us,” you toast, smiling at him. “May we always work it out, no matter how messy we can get.”

“Can’t disagree with that.” he chuckles, both of your glasses clinking as you both take a few gulps. 

You both lean in, turning your attention back to the table as you continue to taste the dishes, savoring the mix of flavors while the sound of waves and your laughter blend softly into the night.

You could get used to this. 

Waves rolling in slow and steady, better than any white noise could ever dream. The sun soaks into your skin, golden and lazy, sinking down to your bones. Naturally. Perhaps after a while, it would become boring and repetitive. The same sounds, the same slow rhythm of days. 

But right now, in this very moment, you’re soaking it all in—every shimmer of sunlight and every breath of salt air.

You crack one eye open, squinting against the blaze of sunlight spilling over your face. The heat stings for a second before you lift a hand to shield your eyes, palm cutting through the glare. When your vision clears, the first thing you see is the pool. 

Sunlight scatters across its surface, complimenting the turquoise color. It’s incredible how clean the pool looks. There’s no imperfection. 

Its surface suddenly breaks with a low splash. Jungkook surfaces with an easy stroke and a breath of air. He stands on the pool stairs, slowly making his way up–too focused, wiping water off his face as he pushes his wet hair back. 

Droplets stream down his shoulders, tracing the lines of his chest and abs before dripping onto the tiles. Your throat goes dry as you shamelessly watch the scene unfold in front of you. You stay stretched out on the lounge chair, head tilted just enough to keep the sun from getting in the way of your view.

A grin curves at the corner of his mouth as he reaches for a towel.

“I see you’re feeling better.”

Bastard. He’s enjoying this.

You reach for the glass of iced water beside you, taking a slow sip. Your throat thanks you instantly as the dryness fades away. You might’ve overdone it yesterday by bringing sushi to the beach house after dinner. 

What? There was so much food that Jungkook practically laughed at you, teasing that you ate like a bird. Ridiculous — this was probably the biggest portion you’d ever taken. And the sushi looked far too good to leave untouched.

You’d heard that at posh restaurants, you’re not really supposed to ask for leftovers. Maybe being a little tipsy didn’t help, because you found yourself voicing the thought to Jungkook. He laughed and, shamelessly, asked them to pack it for you. Of course, they didn’t seem to have a problem with it.

You had no idea what came over you. Your stomach was so full you could have exploded—you kept burping and whining about eating too much. But after a couple of hours, as your stomach slowly started digesting, you couldn’t ignore the sushi set Jungkook had put in the fridge. So, in the middle of the night, you indulged a little.

Your gluttony came with consequences–your stomach ached, and you barely slept. The discomfort was worse during the night, but by the time you both woke up, you’d settled on staying at the beach house, choosing to enjoy the pool instead. Every twist and turn of your stomach reminded you of last night’s indulgence—hence the purely devoted choice of water.

Hence Jungkook’s comment.

Even though he sounds amused now, teasing you for out-eating yourself, he had looked genuinely concerned when he first saw your face scrunch up in discomfort.

“What makes you say that?” you mutter under your breath.

To be honest, you’re slightly embarrassed. Not that all you could think about yesterday was taking Jungkook’s clothes off—and him doing the same to you—you couldn’t wait to get back to the beach house, as shameless as that sounds. Instead, you ended up feeling awful, spending the entire night tossing and turning—not at all in the pleasurable way you had imagined.

Jungkook cocks an eyebrow at you, a knowing smirk hiding behind the beer can as he takes a sip. You watch, mesmerized, as his throat bobs with each gulp. Feeling suddenly too hot, you push yourself up from the chair—maybe a little too quickly, because your stomach protests with an odd flutter. Ignoring it, you dip your toes into the lukewarm water.

Going down the stairs, you get inside the pool–seeing how Jungkook has eyed you the entire time. 

“Who’s staring now?” you muse.

“Who said anything about staring?”

You chuckle. So that’s how he wants to play.

He approaches the pool with a smirk, and your grin slowly fades as a flicker of suspicion crosses your mind.

“What are you doing?” you ask, barely finishing the words.

Before you can react further, Jungkook leaps into the pool, sending a splash that soaks your hair and face. He surfaces, met with the sight of your frowning face. It cracks slightly when you see his wide grin, and the corner of your mouth twitches.

“You wanna laugh! I see it!” he teases.

You laugh, shaking your head. “You’re like a kid sometimes!”

He shakes his head, sending droplets flying from his hair and splashing you in playful revenge. 

“Seriously–hey–”

As the laughter dies down, Jungkook inches closer, his gaze fixed on your face as you wipe away the remnants of his splash. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Like I’ve been on a boat for a month.”

“That bad, huh?”

You shrug. “Better than last night, at least.”

Diving into the water, silence surrounds you for a few seconds—until you surface a little too close and bump into Jungkook’s chest.

“Oops,” you tease, though it’s genuinely an accident.

The way he looks at you sends goosebumps down your spine, despite the lukewarm water that’s probably better than most hotel pools. You catch his eyes flicker downward for just a moment, taking in the swell of your chest just peeking above the water.

He reaches, catching a droplet between your breasts, and you inhale sharply at the touch. Your heart races, pounding wildly in your chest as you anticipate his next move. It’s as if he’s weighing whether to continue—or maybe it’s not a question of desire, but of what he should do.

Not wanting him to change his mind—selfishly—you press your hand to his chest, letting your fingers trace over him. He hovers close, so near that leaning in to kiss him feels almost impossible.

He takes the bait—if that’s what it can be called—and wraps his hands around your waist, guiding you toward the side of the pool. 

“I thought you were feeling sick.”

Smiling at that and you hum, “It’s not that bad.”

“You were lying in bed the entire time. You’ve only been out here for, like, an hour.”

And an hour it has been!

“So?”

“You don’t lay in bed for too long. You always find something to do.”

“Yeah, okay,” you dismiss him, wrapping your arms around his neck. He instinctively holds your hips for support as you curl your legs around his waist.

“That’s how I know you’ve not been feeling well.”

“My stomach is fine as long as I don’t make rushed moves.”

“Well that’s too bad then.”

You pout, “I didn’t mean it like–” you sigh, “We can take it slow.”

“Y/N!” he gasps scandalously. “Are you suggesting we have slow sex?”

You roll your eyes, ready to unwrap your arms around him as he holds you tighter. “Why are you holding me then?” you mutter, annoyed. Can he just be horny at this moment? Like any other man would be? 

“Maybe I just want to be close to you,” he suggests with a grin, making you tug at the hair on the back of his head.

Ignoring how soft and tingly it feels, you whisper, “Liar.”

“Why do you think so?”

You press your bodies together, causing him to groan. “For one, because of this.”

A soft gasp escapes your lips as he hoists you up and has you seated on the edge of the pool. He spreads your legs apart, moving your bikini bottom aside as he touches your clit. 

“Ah, fuck.” you gasp.

“God, you really are dirty,” he teases. “Not feeling well, and look at you.”

“I’m suddenly all healthy,” you reply.

He laughs, drawing you closer so your hips rest partly on the edge of the pool.

“Now lay back and enjoy.” 

“Wh–” 

One hand, fingers tucked under your bikini bottom and the other spreading your leg apart, he dives in and it’s only a second before you feel his mouth on you. In one swift motion, you’re laying on your back just as he told you to, ignoring your stomach and focusing on what's going on between your legs. 

He eats you out, slowly and delicately, leaving you a mess who silently begs for more. You move your hips toward him, yearning for more. Your back arches and chest heaves–and you feel you’re almost there. He flickers his tongue against you and soon enough, you reach the end–breathless as your muscles relax.

He pulls your bikini bottom back into place and hoists himself out of the pool as you sit up. A strange, lingering sensation washes over you as the intensity fades.

“You okay?” he asks.

Jungkook helps you to your feet and guides you to the lounge chair, offering a glass of water—now just melted ice.

“I think you should eat something,” he says, nodding toward the back door as you head inside.

Jungkook prepares a bowl of fruit for you, just like the one you had for breakfast, while he makes himself a sandwich. You nibble on the fruit slowly. 

A wave of queasiness hits you like a punch to the gut, your stomach twisting and churning violently. Your mouth goes dry, a bitter taste rising as your body threatens to betray you, and your head spins slightly as you clutch your stomach.

“What’s going on?”

Hand covering your mouth, you stumble toward the bathroom. You barely make it in time, sliding the toilet seat up as your stomach releases everything. The retching sounds are just a noise in the background as you can feel the vomit in your mouth and nose.

Jungkook’s bare feet slap against the tiles as he rushes to the bathroom, worry etched across his face. He bursts in just as you’re leaning over the toilet and letting it all out again. He wraps his hand around your hair and holds it back for you. With a hand on your back, he rubs it gently. 

“It’s okay, let it all out.”

He continues to rub your back until you lift your head once you think it’s over–sitting back softly. 

“Fuck,” you murmur.

“Let me just–” he says, his footsteps rushing as he hurries out.

The taste of vomit is overwhelming, bitter and sharp on your tongue, the smell filling your senses. You reach for the flush button and press it, the swirling water washing away the evidence as you take a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself.

Fuck. The smell and taste linger everywhere, the entire bathroom probably reeking of your vomit. You want to call out to Jungkook, to tell him not to come in—there’s no need for him to be here, in the middle of this mess.

Though, Jungkook comes back with a glass of water, holding it out to you. You rinse your mouth first, letting the water spill into the toilet before taking a small sip. When you hand the glass back, he sets it on the sink and watches you carefully as you settle onto the toilet lid.

Holding your forehead, you give it a slow rub.

“I’m going to the pharmacy to get something to help with the stomachache,” Jungkook says, concern tightening his features. 

You were almost feeling fine. What the hell? Did the fruit irritate your stomach even more?

You press a hand to your stomach, frowning as the discomfort lingers. Then it hits you—slowly, unsettlingly. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

You were supposed to get your period days ago. Your stomach churns for another reason now, one that has nothing to do with the fruit. A wave of unease settles over you as your mind races through the possibilities.

No. No. No. It can’t be!

Jungkook notices something is off—the way your eyes widen, the sudden stillness in your movements. His brow furrows slightly as he steps closer, searching your face. He drops to his knees in front of you, trying to get a clear view of your face, his brow furrowed with concern that has never left.

“What?” he asks, his voice gentle but edged with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“I—” you gulp, squeezing your eyes shut, unable to get the words out. The possibility swirls in your mind, each thought twisting tighter as you replay every moment, every detail that could make it real.

One thing is painfully clear: you had sex. Your mind won’t settle, and you can’t think straight.

“My period—” you gulp again, “it’s late.”

Painfully and slowly, you glance to your right at Jungkook. He jerks slightly, almost as if you’d slapped him, the realization dawning. He slowly meets your eyes again.

“That’s… we only had—” he stammers, trying to make sense of it.

“We had sex, Jungkook. Multiple times—and not just here.”

“I… I didn’t—”

“We both know we had unprotected sex. Women can get pregnant even if—holy shit. Fuck.”

Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, his eyes wide as he tries to process the news—not that it’s definite, but the possibility hangs heavy between you. “Okay… okay,”

“We’re so fucking stupid, Jungkook! I can’t be pregnant!” 

Panic surges through you, your stomach twisting violently as if you’re about to throw up at any second. 

Jungkook, however, keeps a surprisingly cool head. He reaches out, placing a steadying hand on your shoulder. 

“Okay… we don’t know anything for sure yet,” he says calmly. “I’ll go to the drugstore and get a pregnancy test, so we know for sure.”

“Right,” you reply, rushed. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’m coming with you.”

He eyes you uncertainly as you stand, concern flickering across his face. “Are you sure? You don’t want to lie down?”

“And think of all the possibilities? Hell no,” you say, shaking your head.

You quickly change your clothes and head to the nearest drugstore, trying desperately to keep your mind off all the possibilities. You can’t even begin to count how long it’s been since you had sex back at home, and the thought twists your stomach again.

Fuck. You’re so stupid. You were so careless. Why would you have unprotected sex?

Jungkook remains silent the entire time, only speaking as he gives you directions where to go. Both of you are dead silent. 

As you get to the store, you rush to find the right section and once you do, you’re met with multiple choices. Never done this before–not imagining you would be doing it anytime soon either–you stare helplessly. 

“How about this one?” Jungkook asks, holding up a box, looking just as clueless as you feel.

You take it from his hands, studying the packaging before handing it back with a straight look.

“It’s an ovulation test.”

“Oh,” he mutters, frowning at the other boxes.

You examine another box, reading the description carefully. “I think this one might be good.”

By the time you finish, Jungkook already has another box in his hands. You check it and give him a nod—he picked the right test. He takes two boxes along with the one you’re holding.

“Just in case,” he explains, and you nod.

“Let’s go, or else I’m gonna throw up.”

“Are you feeling sick again?” he asks as you both head down the aisle to the cashier.

“I don’t know if it’s actual nausea or just the thought…” you murmur, your stomach twisting again.

You reach the cashier as she scans the three boxes. Jungkook pulls out his wallet and pays–not even waiting for the receipt as you politely bid your goodbyes and rush back to the house. 

Once you’re back in the bathroom, you breathe in and out as you pull the test from the box. Jungkook leans against the doorframe, silent, watching as you read the instructions. It shouldn’t be difficult—you just have to pee on the stick and wait—but you still read every line carefully. It’s your first time doing this, after all. 

You tap your legs nervously, biting down your lower lip before finally sitting down on the toilet lid. 

“Hey—” Jungkook’s voice is tight, cautious. You hum in response, eyes unfocused.

“Y/N—” he says again, softer this time.

He lowers himself to one knee in front of you, making sure you’re really looking at him.

“What’s wrong?” you ask softly, searching his doe eyes. He looks… tender.

“I just—” he starts, a quiet, almost nervous chuckle escaping him. “Whatever the result is… please—promise me you’ll talk to me.”

Your features soften, the worry in your chest unraveling as empathy floods in. Here he is—this tall, broad man—on his knee before you, with the most vulnerable look in his eyes.

“Promise me, you wouldn’t just–”

And for the first time in a long while, you’re a witness of the aftermath of his trauma. There’s fear, memories and feelings that are brought back. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you. He just needs your affirmation. 

“Of course, Kook.” you assure him softly.

He nods, slowly backing away to give you some privacy. You share one last time as he gently closes the bathroom door. You take a deep breath and lower your gaze, staring at the instructions one last time before you put it away and take the stick. 

When it’s done–all three of them–you set the tests carefully on the counter as you wash your hands. Opening the bathroom door, Jungkook paces nearby as he turns around as soon as he hears you. 

“We have to wait two minutes.” 

He steps closer, nodding, his eyes scanning your face as if making sure you’re okay. It takes one look at you to see your distress. Well how vacation got another turn. 

You sit on the toilet lid as Jungkook leans against the bathroom sink and crosses his arms. 

“Kook–I don’t know what I am going to do if–”

“Hey–we’ll figure it out okay?”

“No, no–there can’t be nothing to figure out. I can’t be pregnant.”

“Y/N–”

“I’m not ready! I can’t be pregnant–that’s just absurd–we’re absurd–”

“Hey, hey–” Jungkook steps closer and cups your face. That causes you to pause as you stare at him. “We will figure out everything–like we always do. Let’s just wait for the result, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you whisper, “Let’s do that.”

Time feels oddly slow, as if it’s dragging purposely to torment you with the anticipation and fear of seeing the results. Both of you are lost in your own thoughts, minds separate and just hearing the awful silence before Jungkook’s timer goes off. You’re so out of it that you haven’t even noticed he has set one.

“We’re gonna both look at the same time, okay?” you say softly.

“Yeah, okay. Two lines mean pregnant, right?”

“That’s right.” Cautiously, you approach the counter where the sticks rest and before taking a big breath, you both face the sink and take a look. 

You both take each test in your hands to scan it closely. Then your eyes land on yours—and relief floods through you. 

Negative. Not pregnant. 

“Fuck! Thank God!” you almost yell, tossing the sink into the sink as Jungkook does the same and sighs in relief. Rubbing his face, you both check the third just to make sure and once that comes out negative as well–you finally relax. 

“Fuck.” he sighs in relief, relaxes his shoulders.

You toss the tests into the bin, you make your way out of the bathroom–as you sit on the bed.

“Why am I so sick then?” you whine, rubbing your stomach. 

“It seems like you just irritated your stomach with all the food. I don’t think it’s food poisoning, or else you would’ve vomited shortly after the dinner and not the next day.”

Great. Well, it’s probably better than being pregnant. 

However, there’s this odd feeling lingering in the pit of your stomach. A huge relief has washed over you, yes, but there’s that fear of it happening again. This situation just awoke a realization you’ve known based on basic facts of how biology and sex works, but after experiencing it on your own–you know you don’t want to go through this again. 

The risk is too big. And as long as you and Jungkook will keep doing this–it’s not safe. It’s not right.

“I will go to the pharmacy and get you something for it.” 

Jungkook pauses, watching as you step closer.

“Jungkook–”

“Hm?”

You stand, rubbing your stomach. “We got carried away,” 

Jungkook stands, watching as you get closer. 

“It keeps happening again and again.”

He doesn’t need clarification.  Acknowledgement is written all over his face and it doesn’t take too much to realize where this is heading. 

“I know,” he says.

You meet his eyes. “Can we even be friends?”

Jungkook’s features soften. “Y/N…”

“We keep falling into this—on and off. No matter what we say, what we promise—we always end up in bed together. Are we even friends anymore?”

“Of course we are.”

“Jungkook friends just don’t fuck on and off all the time. Ever since we started–we can barely keep hands to each other. We can’t control ourselves, no matter how many times we tell ourselves that we can. We just can’t.” 

He doesn’t argue, knowing everything you’re saying is right. 

“What would happen if the next test comes out positive?”

He has no answer for that. 

“We are caught up in this–whatever this is–and we never even thought about what the consequences could be. This is a dangerous game we’re playing.”

The situation with Kiko was different—she was his girlfriend. When something like this happened to them, it made more sense because they were in a relationship. Stuff like that happens and makes more sense. But this?

You and Jungkook are not in a relationship.

You’re two best friends who got too close and got caught up in lust and attraction. 

“I’m not putting any blame on you, please, don’t think I do.”

“I am not, Y/N. I don’t feel like you’re doing that.”

You smile sadly at him, “Kook. We can’t do this anymore. And I mean it this time.”

He smiles too, cupping your face as you close your eyes, wrapping your fingers around his wrist, letting them trace his skin softly as he caresses your cheek. 

“Kook…”

All of this makes sense. All of this needs to end. And you have to go back to being just best friends. Without any physical contact that might indicate something more. Things might not be the same–how could they? But you can slowly erase all of this and just go back to the friends you once knew. It will probably be the hardest task you will have to do and no one knows how it will end up. If it’s even possible.

And that scares you.

Because your most treasured friendship is at stake—and that thought terrifies you more than anything.

So why does it feel like a part of you is being ripped away?

“I can’t lose you, Kook.” you whisper.

“You won’t lose me,” he says softly, almost smiling—as if the idea itself is impossible.

“What if we can’t go back to being just friends? No sex. No intimacy.”

He hesitates. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t say that,” you plead, your voice cracking, eyes stinging. Jungkook steps closer and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. You grab his wrist, holding on like he might slip away if you don’t.

“We’ll work it out,” he murmurs, stepping back but keeping his eyes on you. A small smile tugs at his lips. “We always do.”

“I hope so.”

“I’ll get you some meds, okay?” he assures you. “And I’ll take the couch from now on. You just lay down and rest.”

You want to argue. The words are on the tip of your tongue, ready to tell him it’s fine—you can share the bed. But you stop yourself. Jungkook notices; it’s evident, and you practically freeze before slowly retracing your steps.

“Thank you,” you whisper softly, almost afraid he won’t hear.

But the reassuring smile he gives proves otherwise.

As soon as Jungkook is out of the house, being the best friend you could’ve ever asked for, you sink down on the bed. 

You feel empty. Even though your mind knows you’ve made the most rational decision—both of you have—tears start to stream down your face. Maybe it’s nostalgia? Or maybe it’s the ache of wanting Jungkook close so badly you can’t imagine not having him there.

No. You can do this.

It will take time—perhaps a lot of it—to get back to where you were. But you’ll do everything in your power to make sure you give it your best effort.

a/n: It’s finally here! Can you believe it? Because I can’t 😭 This year went by so fast – it honestly feels like only a couple of months have passed. I wanted to take this a/n to just talk for a bit, hope you don’t mind. If you stick around to read, thank you so much! Some of you might not know, but I started uni while also working every weekday. A lot has been happening, and it’s been busy. Like, really busy. Finding time to just relax or write has been hard, which is why updates have taken longer. It’s never on purpose, I promise – I just hope you can understand how chaotic adult life can get sometimes 😅 On top of that, my laptop has been acting up lately – glitching, running out of space, the whole deal – so working on my stories hasn’t been the easiest. So yeah, it hasn’t made things any easier 😭 But I’ve been managing, and I still really want to keep writing whenever I can because I love doing it.

I’ve even been offered a few part-time jobs, but I turned them down since I know it’d leave me with zero time (and energy) to write. These stories mean a lot to me – they’re like my little online babies – and I always want to give them the time and love they deserve.

This update and chapter is dedicated to everyone who’s been dedicated, supportive and extremely kind to me. Coming online always reminds me how rare these qualities are in people, and I’m genuinely grateful for every one of you. MH is a crazy journey and it’s coming to an end. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it’s a year of hard work haha and I’m very happy how it turned out. Don’t kill me what happens in this one ahahah – you know I love realistic stuff and I’m a sucker for angst <33 All the love!!

If you’ve enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡

© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 (𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝) | 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung

[yoonieper]

We took two steps forward and then like 5 steps back all in the same chapter 🤧

[yoonieper]

girl I just want to ask if you're okay and you haven't forgotten this account We want you back girll we miss you, give us a sign of life please, ahh and for the birds I really hope you update it is very good.

I’m alive!!! My apologies everyone for just disappearing 😔 The summer passed by so fast and I’ve been swamped ever since the semester started (grad school ain’t no joke lol). The next time I posted I wanted to have some sort of update on part 7, but I figured at this point I should say something! My apologies for how long the wait has been, this first part of the series should’ve been done at the beginning of this year, but ahhh!!! I’m so sorry yall! But just to reassure you guys, no this account isn’t abandoned, and no For the Birds isn’t abandoned!! I’ve just been busy, I’m awful at multitasking, and I’m doing the best I can :’) I said this when I first posted the series, but all the chapters this for first part are written! I’m basically just editing them as we go. Some of them though I’m making some pretty big revisions to, most of my works after getting betaed end up being a few extra thousand words more than my original draft, so it does take some time. I’m hoping to get back to you guys in a few weeks! Thanksgiving break is soon and then winter break is a few weeks after that. Part 7 should be ready before the end of the year!

As always though, if you prefer not to wait and have some spare time, there are always spots open to beta the next few parts! If this sounds interesting and you’re 18+, please just dm me and feel free to ask questions if you have any about expectations or things like that.

Last thing I’ll say is that I have a proposition for you guys! Which one would you prefer? Once part 7 is complete would you prefer for me to just go ahead and release it, or would you prefer for me to wait until I’m also ready to post part 8? I say this because both part 7 and part 8 currently are under 10k (just barely lol), and for those who want me to come back with something a bit more substantial, part 7 and 8 together would equal about how long some of the other parts are (currently around 17k). Now I will say, part 7 and 8 would not be posted on the exact same day, but they’d be posted within a week of each other depending on what’s going on, if we go with that option! So considering this, which would you prefer?

Thank you for your patience guys 😭🫶🏽!

Which would you prefer?

Go ahead and post part 7

Wait and post part 7 and 8 together

Voting ended onNov 10, 2025

[yoonieper]

Oop almost forgot I had this poll going on! But the people have spoken, I’ll wait till I have part 7 and 8 ready! It’ll take me a bit more extra time, but I’ll get it done 🫡

[yoonieper]

girl I just want to ask if you're okay and you haven't forgotten this account We want you back girll we miss you, give us a sign of life please, ahh and for the birds I really hope you update it is very good.

I’m alive!!! My apologies everyone for just disappearing 😔 The summer passed by so fast and I’ve been swamped ever since the semester started (grad school ain’t no joke lol). The next time I posted I wanted to have some sort of update on part 7, but I figured at this point I should say something! My apologies for how long the wait has been, this first part of the series should’ve been done at the beginning of this year, but ahhh!!! I’m so sorry yall! But just to reassure you guys, no this account isn’t abandoned, and no For the Birds isn’t abandoned!! I’ve just been busy, I’m awful at multitasking, and I’m doing the best I can :’) I said this when I first posted the series, but all the chapters this for first part are written! I’m basically just editing them as we go. Some of them though I’m making some pretty big revisions to, most of my works after getting betaed end up being a few extra thousand words more than my original draft, so it does take some time. I’m hoping to get back to you guys in a few weeks! Thanksgiving break is soon and then winter break is a few weeks after that. Part 7 should be ready before the end of the year!

As always though, if you prefer not to wait and have some spare time, there are always spots open to beta the next few parts! If this sounds interesting and you’re 18+, please just dm me and feel free to ask questions if you have any about expectations or things like that.

Last thing I’ll say is that I have a proposition for you guys! Which one would you prefer? Once part 7 is complete would you prefer for me to just go ahead and release it, or would you prefer for me to wait until I’m also ready to post part 8? I say this because both part 7 and part 8 currently are under 10k (just barely lol), and for those who want me to come back with something a bit more substantial, part 7 and 8 together would equal about how long some of the other parts are (currently around 17k). Now I will say, part 7 and 8 would not be posted on the exact same day, but they’d be posted within a week of each other depending on what’s going on, if we go with that option! So considering this, which would you prefer?

Thank you for your patience guys 😭🫶🏽!

Which would you prefer?

Go ahead and post part 7

Wait and post part 7 and 8 together

Voting ended onNov 10, 2025

[yoonieper]

How are you so good at making us hate a character! Yuri gets under my skin so much, she’s giving pick me vibes and doesn’t take responsibility for anything 😤 Jeon Jungkook is also getting on my nerves. Like hello sir? Calm your dick and fix your relationship instead of crying about it and fucking another woman and still having the audacity to complain about it AND lowkey hate the other woman for his desires???!!!!!!! He messed up his marriage even more man, like there’s no fixing it at this point. AT THE SAME TIME THOUGH I hate that I can understand how this whole cheating affair office thing is helping him develop as a person. He’s finding out there’s more to life than some sucky marriage that he was forced into. It’s interesting to see his realizations start to slowly come undone. “Like wow this is what it’s like to be attracted to someone, oh man she listens and cares, she doesn’t judge me for my insecurities” blah blah blah you get my drift. Like yea Jungkook, you could do so much better than yuri and her insanely annoying tiny booty shorts and evil aura. I’m sure she’s hot but she has the personality of stale piece of gum. Ok but Miss YN? She’s everything I strive to be. H O T, CONFIDENT, EXUDES DEMANDING ATTENTION WITHOUT TRYING, INCREDIBLY HARDWORKING, DEDICATED TO HER CRAFT AKA SLAVING AWAY FOR A CORPORATE JOB (I don’t strive for that but I’m sure she’s making $$$$ so good for her), AND SHE IS SO KIND! Jungkook’s married? Nah I’m surprised she isn’t married. Ok that’s a joke but I’m trying to say she definitely has more appeal than yuri. I dunno man I think it’s nice that her and jk are beginning to talk more and be comfortable but I really hope she isn’t going to be responsible for his actions. She shouldn’t have to rebuild him up brick by brick, she needs to focus on herself too and find someone suitable to meet her standard because she’s a queen

I wrote a whole lotta nothing 🫠 anywho nobody asked but please give me jimin and y/n interaction soon. The most powerful bestie duo, I can sense it

No anon this was well said 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽!!!

(also your wish may or may not be granted, but you didn’t hear that from me 🫢)

[yoonieper]

What’s your favorite story you’ve written so far and your favorite character from FTB?

Oooo! Nice question! Ummmmm my favorite story… out of the ones I’ve published so far Peccatiphilia holds a special place in my heart (it was my first au I came up with for BTS 🥹)! I honestly can’t wait to get back to writing for that series because ahhh I really love the world building I’ve done for that series! If I had to pick any of my works to turn into a movie or TV show it’d be that one!

My favorite character from FTB… I’d honestly say Y/n or maybe Yoongi… or maybe Jimin? Love these 3 especially 🙂‍↕️

[yoonieper]

I can totally see OC telling Yuri off eventually and Jungkook probably staring in shock but filled with love in his eyes, but waaaay in the future though because I think now he would unfortunately defend Yuri😭

I can see it too 🙂‍↕️~ But yeah, unfortunately Jk’s not really in the right headspace for all of that drama rn 😭

[yoonieper]

I can’t wait until we figure out what’s going on in Yuri’s head and her own life. Her thoughts on the whole marriage beginning to end, if she ever had feelings for jungkook, if she suspects anything, and her reasoning for staying in this marriage that clearly is making both of them miserable.

I don’t like how she treats him and the disrespect she has but I do want to give her the benefit of the doubt. This story has been mostly through jungkook’s pov and a little bit of y/n’s, maybe yuri never wanted to get married and was forced/pressured and is taking it all out on her husband instead of maturely going about it? Just a thought…you mentioned her character was created to be hated and you’ve definitely succeed in that but I get a feeling there’s more to her character than a bland sense of insecurity.

Yes there’s more! She was created to not be liked, but you’ve pointed out something important! This story is mainly told in Jk and Y/n’s POV. Yuri’s time hasn’t really come yet, but she’ll get her spotlight at some point I promise :D!

[yoonieper]

Very curious to see how act 2 will be structured or is it going to be on the same timeline. Anything you can share with us?

Timeline wise it’ll directly follow the end of part 13! There’s just going to be a major shift in the story that changes things going forward that make me consider it another arc :D

[yoonieper]

I know jungkook has it in him to take initiative and confront people about what he wants. We saw it in him before he started getting anxious before meetings and we saw it again in the storage room. He was a bit tipsy but that courage is definitely there. He needs to face his fears head on and realize happiness isn’t about what everyone told him is right but what he thinks is right. It’s his life after all. He keeps saying he’ll stay away from y/n and yet the further he pushes himself away the more he yearns for her. He himself doesn’t understand the small bubbly feelings or why he finds tender moments feel like so much more with her.

The best scenario is for either jungkook to step down and focus on his passions for his career or if y/n quits her job at the corporation because I can’t imagine both on them in the same work positions in the future and dating or whatnot. The backlash from employees is going to be a lot on both of them if they choose to stay. Since their “relationship” is about to cross out of work boundaries to her apartment, things are going to get so much more complicated. He’s about to intertwine his personal life more with hers by leaving the office doors. He’s about to see how her life is outside of work, all the little things that make up who she is as a person and why she captures him so much. A bigger taste of what he could have if he simply lets go. Treacherous territory playing so close with emotions like that. He obviously sees her as a safe space and makes him feel whole yet calm. I really don’t think there’s a good outcome for yuri and jungkook and he really should have come clean a long while ago to save him all of this trouble. I think once he comes over to y/n’s apartment for their “personal” time, he’s going to be in way too deep to back out and he’s already in too deep. He’s going to feel guilty for both situations. Guilty for betraying his marriage and guilty for leaving behind what could have been a great relationship and real happiness if he chooses to repair his marriage. I really want them to sit down and have a serious talk about their situationship, no more intimacy until it’s all figured out, but they always need each other physically. Side note: props to Yoongi for approaching him outside of a professional setting, I know he’s going to key to turning Jungkook’s life around. I do hope he gets to meet y/n as well, either scheduled or even by chance

Also thank you updating us and getting this chapter out. I know you’ve been incredibly busy with classes and life. It’s nice to see you active again <3

Ooo this just makes me excited to get into this next half of the arc 🤭… I won’t say anything else~

[yoonieper]

Update:

Here to report back with good news! First, what you guys are probably most interested in, I’m finally free to get back to work on For the Birds!! I’ll probably update you guys pretty soon again in the very near future about the specific date, but Part 7 has already been betaed and isn’t as long as the previous chapters so it shouldn’t take me much time to get through!

For those interested in a quick, concise life update: This past month has been eventful lol! Ya girl finally finished up her work, I also got like pretty sick for a little while towards the end, so that was a pain and made me even slower (doing better though ☺️). I finished up my grad applications and was admitted into my first choice (yay)! Also, I graduated this past weekend! Lots of things happened, but all the stressful stuff is behind me now, so that’s a big relief!

I should be back soon like I said with the date for part 7, but I’ll be back even sooner to finally go through the rest of the asks for part 6! I would do it tomorrow, but tomorrow’s actually my birthday lol, so I’m kinda taking the day off. I should be back on Saturday though to go through asks!

Glad to finally be back and hoping to soon get a schedule again for the rest of the chapters for For the Birds!

Oh! And to kinda end with something completely irrelevant, but I started a page on here for my non BTS related fics! For nearly a year I’ve been pretty into Death Note and have been wanting to write fics, but for the same reason I wasn’t able to work on For the Birds, I haven’t gotten to post anything yet. Currently have some L fics (he’s my baby) planned that I’m hoping to finally finish and post soon! Death Note is kinda the focus for the page currently, but this is probably where I’ll post any fics I get the urge to write for outside of BTS (don’t worry, I still have plenty of things for BTS I haven’t got the chance to write yet)! Nothing’s really on here yet lol, but I thought I’d include this in my general update— here’s the account if you’re interested: @aeria7

To kinda end this off I thought I’d include this crunchy picture of me from this past weekend! Anyway, enough about me lol, I’ll see you guys soon 😚

[yoonieper]

How many chapters do you plan to have for the whole series of For The Birds? I think you mentioned something about different sections since the storyline is going to be massive. Is for the birds it’s own whole section? Or is the whole story called for the birds. Itching for you to return and really hoping you don’t ghost the story. I’m back on tumblr just for this story! Also good luck with grad school. Was debating if I should go but it’s so expensive and I’m not sure if I want that loan added to my life in this economy right now. What are you studying btw?

Ooo I’m actually not sure on the total! I have a storyboard planned but it’s still in such a malleable state rn I’m not sure I could give you an accurate number of all the chapters. I can give you a potential idea about arc #2 👀… Currently I have 11 parts planned for the next arc— this number is subject to change, but just wanted to give you an idea :D! And I think we’ll have either 4-5 more arcs (still trying to figure out if I should split one in half)— but they’re all probably going to be considerably shorter than the first two. Arcs 1 and 2 are both a little more dense, but we’ll definitely pick things up after that :D!

The whole story is called For the Birds, but I do have names I’ve given each arc that I’ll reveal at some point maybe since they contain spoilers~

This story won’t be ghosted! I’ve just been busy over the school year so it’s been a bit difficult trying to work on things. Planning on making my return hopefully in a few weeks!

And thank you! I’m about to graduate as a creative writing major, and then I’ll be getting my masters in publishing :D!

[yoonieper]

what would we need to share to become a beta reader? I want to but I’m also nervous about anonymity.

Oh hey! You’re free to shoot me a dm if you want to talk more specifics, but all I ask for specifically is that you’re 18+ (don’t need to get specific, just making sure you’re of age), and I’d need your discord since that’s where I post my beta stuff. Beyond that, I do use google docs so idk if there might be some concerns there? You can effectively stay anonymous if you opened the doc and edited it in an incognito tab, the details of who’s editing wouldn’t appear to either me or the other betas :D! If you’re interested feel free to dm me with anymore questions you might have!

[yoonieper]

Good luck with grad school! I hope you get accepted into your first choice!

Thank you 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽!!!

[yoonieper]

Update!!!

Oml it’s been a while friends!! I basically just disappeared randomly, I didn’t even get to make it through all the asks for part 6 before I suddenly vanished 🥲 All in all, your girl has been busy lol! I’m nearing the end of my last semester and I’m almost through with sending in my applications for grad school! This has been a busy month for me, but I just wanted to let you guys know I’m not completely gone and planning on getting part 7 out sometime next month once I have all the important stuff submitted! My schedule is so messed up, but I’m horrible at multitasking so things have been slow since school started… Currently though I have plans to finally finish this arc over the summer. I should be relatively free so I should be able to get back to my 2 week posting schedule like I had before. I’ll also update the masterlist with a schedule once I’m close to getting part 7 out!

As always, Just a reminder but I technically have all the parts written, they’re just in need of editing! If you don’t wanna wait and have the time to help out, you’re always free to join the beta team for the series and you can read part 7+ today! Just dm me and we can talk about specifics!!

Anyway, I’m hoping though I’ll soon have the time to look through the rest of the asks I got, so I should be back soonish lol! Thank you all for your patience and sorry once again about the sparse updates 😭 Can’t wait to get back to writing again!

[yoonieper]

I’m really happy Yoongi called me out to grab dinner and they dropped the formalities. He’s trying his best to be a safe space for jungkook to unleash his thoughts and true feelings.

Not surprised y/n and jungkook are still going at it in the storage room but starting to see a few cracks in the walls of emotions on both sides. It’s definitely there, just hasn’t been spoken into existence yet. Thanks for updating!

Yoongi is the bestest boy just trying to help Jk who’s clearly ignoring something he shouldn’t be. Jk needs that one safe space more than ever since his relationship with everyone else in his life is complicated at the moment.

And yes, the cracks are definitely forming! We just need to break a wall down or two now… 🫣

[yoonieper]

Alright that marks all the rest of the previous asks from part 5 😚✌🏽~