It came to my attention that we in the Far East don't have the concept of western, modern 'love'. Not sure if it's true, but it does bring the possibility of not categorizing by, say, romantic or platonic or just friends. So a difference I've seen repeatedly in my culture is this: whether the person is satisfied with what already is there. Whether there is yearning.
The idea is that in a type of relationship commonly referred to as platonic/friendship, people enjoy the parts they share and are happy with it, and they stay there. It's, I'm so happy we see this part of each other. In the type of relationship commonly referred to as romantic love, there's always some sort of unsatisfaction, of not feeling enough. Of, why can't we have more. (This is not saying it is objectively 'more'.) Why can't you also see this part of me. Love is discomfort.
I think it's particularly enlightening in incestual ships, whether you like them or think of them as a particular flavour. Because a lot of familial relationships are naturally the former. And I do think a lot of chosen family and that sort of friendship is natrually the former.
Holmescest is not necessarily the latter, to me. Sure, Mycroft had an idea of what Sherlock should be, one that he eventually let go of, but it's not really about what he is in the relationship, but what he is as a person, separate from Mycroft, so it doesn't count. Sherlock, on the other hand, sort of does have an image of what Mycroft should be, not not be, to him specifically. But it's them, so it's slightly parent-child, too. It's when that need of his is satisfied in John and in his career, and he looks back, and he still needs him, he still wants him in his life. Not that S3 and S4 executed it that well, but there are instances where you could argue so. He needed him in the Great Hiatus, and he wanted to share the important things in his life with Mycroft, be it the wedding, or Rosie.
I did say that in my opinion, one of the problems with them is that Sherlock could never have Mycroft and feel this is all he needs in his life, but the reverse is true for Mycroft. It is also true, I think, that as Sherlock's needs evolve with what he has, he will always still need Mycroft. He might not think he does until it comes to it. But he does.
Anyway I ran off topic. I think in a lot of ways Sherlock was, a lot of the time, happy with what he has with John. And I think the reverse is mostly true for S1 and S2 John. But Sherlock is almost never satisfied with what he has with Mycroft. And that's where I generally see a I-don't-have-the-English-word-for-it ship.
