oh look, a thot

Cam🥀

[exai]

i no longer respect the hustle i want universal basic income and dignity for everyone

[katebishoply]

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

[billcarden]

how it feels to have thoughts and feelings and problems you lowkey can't talk to anyone about

[charlesoberonn]

Middle-aged magical girl.

She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.

[charlesoberonn]

My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I've been Earth's one and only... Wonder-Sparkle Princess.

[gropeable-boychest]

she's been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren't giving it their all. Half of them are in a groupchat they've added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don't interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her* Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he's dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can't save you if you interrupt her rare vacations

[charlesoberonn]

Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people's hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can't, got a PTA meeting.

Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.

Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor's heart with hatred then?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That'd be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!

Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How's the husband? Still dead?

Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Don't mess with my time off :p

[charlesoberonn]

Why are people tagging this '#wonder sparkle princess' like that's a thing and not a name I made up exclusively for this post?

[ardinwriter]

Congratulations on inventing a new tumblr deity!!

[charlesoberonn]

She isn't 29 years old. She's been a magical girl for 29 years. If she started at 14 (typical magical girl protagonist age) then she'd be 43.

[original-blog-deactivated]

Piss on the poor webbed site

[100493503004422]

I don't want a Career I want to Fuck Around

[dreamfarer]

And not find out. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want to find out.

[toffcake]

To See Beyond A Hoping in Three Pictures by Anna Badkhen

happy birthday my love @milflewis I love u, I hope u have the best day today, I cant wait to see you soon!

[skapediem]

if it's any consolation, you'll be hailed as a hero

[caution-wet-ice]

Watching McDavid play is incredible ofc but its also unbelievably stressful because its like watching the fastest most beautiful racing horse thats worth millions of dollars being ridden into actual war

[xenonymph]

Prayer circle for Jesse and Emma inshallah they will be safe

[dsmsix]

[tetrisfag]

Thank you john from the athletic comment section

[vasira96]

idk who needs to hear this, but your partner should be making your life better and easier than it is on your own. if your partner is making your life harder, they're constantly stressing you out, if they're not showing up for you? babe you gotta leave, life is so short and we only get one, so don't spend it with someone who makes you feel bad about your life, you deserve so much better than that

[68623]

I might seem okay but deep down I wanna go on a vacation every month

[userfish]

[itsrainingshadybitches]

[tygermama]

“We heard youse are behind on your payments to Fat Tony.”

[defydamage]

I ALMOST SPIT MY ROOTBEER

[gallusrostromegalus]

“Think you’re all aesthetic, huh? A real instagram Wiseguy!  You want something to blog about? We’ll give ya something to blog about!”

[quendergeer]

the nature of tumblr is such that every few years it will independently invent goodfeathers

[captainlexaproloathr]

those nasty fucking men laughing at trump’s joke at the expense of the GOLD MEDAL WINNING USA women’s team? oh hell is not hot enough. those women dominated that tournament on a level far beyond what you guys pulled off in yours, so i’d watch your fucking tone. i actually have no words.

[saviorified]

my stance is and always will be that trying to claim the moral high horse in sports leads to ruin because these athletes and the men especially are fucking stupid. however i still wish team usa wasn't partying it up with kash patel

[saviorified]

I WISH TEAM USA WASN'T LAUGHING ALONG TO TRUMP'S MISOGYNISTIC JOKES ABOUT THE WOMEN'S TEAM WHO ALSO WON THE GOLD MEDAL