youcantalk

26. Male. Tsv, Australia. post aren't mine unless #tagged accordingly |My Life| .ig-b- { display: inline-block; } .ig-b- img { visibility: hidden; } .ig-b-:hover { background-position: 0 -60px; } .ig-b-:active { background-position: 0 -120px; } .ig-b-48 { width: 48px; height: 48px; background: url(//badges.instagram.com/static/images/ig-badge-sprite-48.png) no-repeat 0 0; } @media only screen and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2), only screen and (min--moz-device-pixel-ratio: 2), only screen and (-o-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2 / 1), only screen and (min-device-pixel-ratio: 2), only screen and (min-resolution: 192dpi), only screen and (min-resolution: 2dppx) { .ig-b-48 { background-image: url(//badges.instagram.com/static/images/[email protected]); background-size: 60px 178px; } }

[boner-]

[youcantalk]

I have been thinking a lot about faith

Not necessarily a religious faith. But a faith in general, An overall faith. A faith in something. A faith in anything. 

I see all these athletes and actors who have faith in God and I am thinking “is this the answer?” 

Not the faith in God. But an undying, an unrelenting faith in something. A faith in something that they are so sure about. That they have no doubt in. 

Does having faith in something make life just that much easier? Does having something to “lean on” provide a safety net to fall into when things go wrong? I asked myself a couple of questions. What do I have an undying faith in? Do I have faith in anything? if I had this kind of faith in something, would it change how I act?

I have faith that my sister will always be there when I need her. 

I have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow morning. I believe that the sun will rise tomorrow.

Is that faith? Or is that just a guarantee? 

[youcantalk]

Everybody wants a reason for everything. It’s so much easier with someone or something to blame.

I’ve always struggled at the root of the problem. Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?

I’ve never spent a lot on finding a remedy. I guess I figured that it hurt for a reason. I guess that’s why I’ve always turned to writing it down. Not just in stories, but the letters in between. And I guess that’s why it haunts the pages of everything- to self-examine.

I think the thing is that I shut off from everything. From friends and family and my own ambitions. From having fun. I just shut off from everything.

Self-defeating? Yeah, probably. But I don’t know that I had total control over it. And I’m not sure it even matters why.

Sometimes things happen and you can’t do anything. Plus, I’m the only one who deals with it anyway. So if everyone could do me a favor and just put their fingers down I’d-and keep your mouths-

Sorry. I know I seem angry. I’m not, I…I promise. I just know I did this to me. And I will deal with it accordingly.

And I don’t need opinions from those never a part of it. Don’t need them pointing out my problems, they’re mine. Don’t need reminders, I know better than anyone.

And yeah, I know, I should be finding another way. I know that I should be out seeking a substitute. But just forgetting never really made sense to me.

So I haven’t been.

Do I feel embarrassed about it? I think you know the answer to that. I think you’d probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me, wouldn’t you?

I know I should’ve moved on ages ago, been happy already, but it’s never been that easy for me. Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.

I know I’ve only ever tried a handful of times to sever this thing torturing me. It never got me anywhere, with anyone. No friendship or hobby, no lover’s bed worked.

But looking back I maybe never tried hard enough, and it is my fault.

Maybe I never tried at all

[youcantalk]

I can't.

You can't what?

[youcantalk]

So I'm in love with him I have been ever since I saw him 5 years ago... But I can never have him and he's fucked me up and will never know it.

so who is him? why dont you tell him and then he will know!

[youcantalk]

Jumbo Jenga!

[youcantalk]

I miss you

I miss you, too!

Who is this?

[youcantalk]

A bunch of Christmas bums.

[youcantalk]

Good morning. It kind of makes you want to stay in bed.

[youcantalk]

I want to quit my job and run away to somewhere I haven't been, open/work at a coffee shop/bar and meet interesting people. And lift weights. And cross fit. 

That would be nice. 

[youcantalk]

First week of Oly lifting complete.

I have just completed my first week of Oly lifting training and PR's all round. Sadly I do not have an awesome photo of me through some relatively heavy weight above my head. I wasn't sure of what weights I would/should be doing, so I have very little to compare it too. But in saying that, I am lifting heavier than I ever have before in just regular crossfit training. The Oly training really took it out of me though. I am used to the met con of crossfit. That is the type of training I like and I used to run a lot so I am fond of cardio. But straight up strength training is something I haven't done for a few years. Regardless, I am loving it.

[youcantalk]

Time to start reversing the Christmas/New Year binge.

[futureisthatmountain]

Pumped.

[youcantalk]

advice for overweight girls? do guys look at them with disgust?

What kind of advice would you like? and what is your definition of overweight? According to my BMI, I am just "overweight". And I can't speak for all guys, but personally, I prefer women who look after their body, regardless of size. The only way you can look at that with respect. Any progress is progress, right?

[youcantalk]

It has been a fun but hectic couple of weeks.

[lesbian-and-skate]

[youcantalk]

dream woman 

[mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours]