Welcome

a few things that made me smile

[ros-sauce]

(bravely) I think body parts should only hurt if something is wrong.

[kangamommynow]

And that something should be fixable

[teaboot]

Ideally with a warm bath and a good night's sleep

[spiritbladed]

something something extremely sexy when magic users resort to physical violence. yeah i have the power of god and anime on my side but i also have THESE HANDS. i cast Punch You In The Face. i take my magic staff through which i channel the vast energies of the elements and the cosmos and i cast Severe Concussion And Skull Fracture. casting time for xenoglossy too long, chose the quicker route of Stab You In The Throat.

[spiritbladed]

i actually had a specific hypothetical in mind when i made this post but shoutout to everyone tagging it with some variation of "gandalf when he cracks denethor in the face" because you're so right

[indigosfindings]

relatedly: probably no one has made greater contributions to Posting than dr roberta bobby

[indigosfindings]

with complete sincerity: this might be the best post ever made

[petrow1tch]

some of my faves from personal dr roberta bobby preservation efforts archive:

[anxietyproblem]

[molive-0]

There are many benefits to being a marine biologist

[baddywronglegs]

By this point Loch Ness is probably the inland body of water we can be most sure doesn't have a monster in it.

[replicated]

i'm not really into blondes but this is an objectively absurd connection to make

[not100bees]

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

[kholdseid]

[bootycap]

ao3 mcu a:aou abo bdsm ot3 hs au pwp

[bootycap]

the fact that this is completely understandable and rather descriptive makes me rethink what i’ve done with my life

[prewars-deleted]

#i understand it perfectly but you couldn’t fucking pay me to read it

[bootycap]

this post has ended up in at least 2 masters theses and 1 presentation and im not sure how i feel about that

[captainlordauditor]

but is it m/m/m, f/f/f, f/m/m or f/f/m

[boytranscending]

Dont be silly, a:aou doesnt have three whole women in it

[sam-writes]

This post is just multiple punches to the face

[02void]

　　　 　　／＞　　フ 　　　 　　| 　_　 _ l 　 　　 　／` ミ＿xノ 　　 　 /　　　 　 | 　　　 /　 ヽ　　 ﾉ 　 　 │　　|　|　| 　／￣|　　 |　|　| 　| (￣ヽ＿_ヽ_)__) 　二つ

[melonflavored]

This summer i want to go mad from power

[melonflavored]

By the end of the season i want to own a cheetah and a sports car

[skyrim-forever]

Me to me when I repeat past mistakes when I know better

[tragbarerpanzrabwehrkomplexfagot]

[i-drew-this-post]

I drew this post (originally by user RedditBlob on Reddit)

[norglomofnit]

@animals-with-fan-art

[animentality]

so this should be illegal.

[matchagirl]

[homura]

[emnesoi0]

i think the thing that gets me the most about fantasy coffee discourse is that none of the writers who feel intruded upon seem to be able to consider that they can just make their foreign policy. like. good for both parties. you're writing you can just do that.

[emnesoi0]

"we get these beans through fair trade with a far away land" <= thing that you can write in a novel and it's fine

[emnesoi0]

if i were being more obnoxious right now i would say it's almost poetic how the idea of two nations having a mutually beneficial relationship with each other never seems to cross these americans' minds

[shubbabang]

[dark-wizard-guy-fieri]

context (via @mellorocket)

[chimthecappy]

doubly funny that I saw a compilation of all the corporate accounts like "aw thanks elmo, we're doing well" meanwhile all the flesh and blood real human people are extremely not okay

[artistefish]

Okay but Elmo had actually the best and sweetest response to all this trauma dumping:

And then all the other Sesame Street character accounts joined in:

And now I’m thinking maybe we’re gonna be okay… 💗

(Comment compilation from this Twitter)

[aqueerkettleofish]

I kinda feel for the poor person running Elmo's Twitter.

"So, boss... I may have messed up."

"What did you do, Ray?"

"Well, I made a post for Elmo saying 'Hi, how's everybody doing?'"

"I mean, that's kind of what we pay you for."

"Yeah, but.... <sigh> it turns out pretty much everyone is hanging on by a thread, badly enough that they needed to tell Elmo."

"Oh."

"God help me, boss, I think Elmo needs to be there for them."

"Get the others."

[shu-of-the-wind]

this is the energy that jim henson would be proud of.

[anna-neko]

and important addition

Source: instagram

[itsatorchwoodthing]

its literally him

[magnhild]

it's midnight on the 1st of june aest

[dropoutvocalstims]

posting this again cause now its actually true