the bias isn't actually in it all that much, but just like trust me lol
applicable for any enha member, no name stated, though if you feel it's a bit ooc for your member of choice to say certain things feel free to alter it a little in your own mind to make it fit better!
I shiver, feeling like an ice block from the inside out, despite the amount of layers on my body and the hot drink in my gloved hands.
I breathe out air warmer than my surroundings, granting me the appearance of a steam cloud coming from my mouth.
As I take a drink from my paper cup, I can't help but wonder to myself why Thanksgiving has to be in November. And why parades have to be outdoors. And why I had to be here so early in the morning just to stand here for hours.
Then, my phone buzzes in my pocket. Not just a generic vibration, but the custom vibration that he set for himself on my phone. 'So I always know it's him before I even look.'
⁃ how's the crowd
He's such an ass. He's currently inside, waiting for the staff to tell him to go out and board the float. Inside. He's inside. In the heat.
⁃ cold, dick. how's the nice warm heated building 🤩
⁃ lovely, thank you.
⁃ no but fr ur not too cold right? you have jackets on?
⁃ i can send someone to u with my jacket if u need it
⁃ did you get the drink u said u we're gonna get?
⁃ yes yes yes I have jackets I have my drink im fine lmao
He might be kind of an ass but he's so sweet.
⁃ ok good.
⁃ only a few hours!
⁃ after we pass by the main part you can leave baby
⁃ ik you said you were gonna wait around for me but you don't have to
⁃ I don't need you freezing your ass off
⁃ THAT would be tragic. r.i.p. ass
I can't help but roll my eyes.
⁃ you're such a perv
⁃ woah rude!
Instead of responding, I slide my phone back into my pocket. I don't really have anything else to say at the moment. If I tell him straight up that I WILL be waiting until the end of the parade for him, he'll just whine about how I don't have to.
And now I stand. And wait...
And I waited for about 5 hours. We had to be here at 4:30 in the morning, both for him to get where he needed to go with his members and for me to get an absolutely prime spot in the crowd. The parade didn't actually start until about 9:30.
It's not every day that your boyfriend performs in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Longest five hours of my life, but whatever. He better not mess up the choreography after all this shit or I'm gonna be pissed.
Not really, it would actually be pretty funny. But the point is- this is pretty exhausting. Especially since I'm here all by myself.
Other members have partners, but they either couldn't come out for the parade or they don't like me. Not kidding, they seriously just don't like me that much. But that's okay! I don't particularly like them either. Anyways, all that resulted in me being here alone, without anybody to talk to to pass time.
But whatever. Whatever! It's over. The agonizingly boring five hours is over, and the parade is finally starting.
The float I'm really here for is a few floats and balloons back, but the parade feels like it moves quickly, so it doesn't seem to take very long at all.
The big Baby Shark float approaches and I see him already trying to find me in the crowd.
"Excuse me, could my daughter stand in front of you? Just for this performance?" A woman asks from behind me. I look next to her and see a young girl, probably about 10 or 11, holding a picket with my boyfriend's face on it.
She looks like this is the best day of her life. She isn't even looking at me, like she doesn't even care if she has the best view of the group. Just being here and seeing them is enough to fill her with pure joy.
"Of course! Of course she can!"
"Oh, thank you so much." She prompts her daughter to move forward as I scoot back a bit to make room for her. "She loves these boys, she's been talking about it for days. Thank you."
"It's no problem at all." I turn my attention to the young girl. "Is he your favorite?" I point to her picket.
She nods, excitedly.
"He's so pretty."
"He really is. He's my favorite too."
I look up again, seeing that he's still trying to find me. I wave with all my might, willing him to spot me, and soon enough he does. As soon as I have his attention, I frantically point to the girl who is now holding her picket up and waving at him. He leans down a bit to indicate that he's changed his attention to her as he smiles, waves at her, and sends a hand heart in her direction.
She squeals and jumps up and down.
"He saw me!! He saw me!! Mama, he saw me!! He gave me a heart!"
The cute little girl continues to freak out, making me worry slightly that she might just explode, as the float stops and the guys climb down, getting ready to perform.
There was some benefit to getting here so early. The performances are all directly in front of me (and this little girl, who I feel some level of community with at the moment.)
The hosts finish up their introductory stuff about the float, the movie, and the group, and the Baby Shark music begins to play (soon transitioning into the Keep Swimmin' Through tune.)
I watch him intently, full of pride for him and his success with the group.
I know he can't entirely take this seriously. It's a song for a Baby Shark movie. It's not like it's the most serious of performances in the first place. But I also know that deep down he can't believe he's here either. He can't believe he's doing this. He'd probably agree to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star acapella if it meant he got to be in such a big event that few kpop groups have been in.
The group does a great job. Of course they do. None of them mess up the choreography, so I remain not pissed off. (Lol)
After the performance, they simply walk off next to the float, but my boyfriend makes sure to send a quick flying kiss to both me and the little Engene in front of me before leaving the main square.
"He saw me again!!" She squeals.
"That's great, honey!" Her mother says before whispering to me, "Do you know that boy or something? He seemed to know you?"
I laugh a bit.
"Yes, ma'am. He's my boyfriend."
"Oh my! Oh, you must be very proud of him."
"You have no idea."
The rest of the parade is uneventful, just nice entertainment.
When it ends, I say goodbye to the little Engene and her mom, and seek out a heated place as fast as possible. I'm finally able to find a store nearby that is both open and not too busy. I wait in that store until my boyfriend is released from his duties and able to text me where to find him.
When I finally do leave and find him, he hugs me tighter than usual and holds on longer than usual.
"Are you alright?" I ask, slightly concerned.
"So cold. You're so warm."
I laugh, though I understand. I have to pry him off of me, taking a second to kiss his cold lips.
"You guys did great. Was it fun?"
"Yeah, it was. Less fun though and more just... just a really crazy experience."
"I bet. Did you see a lot of Engenes throughout the parade?"
"Yeah! A lot more than I expected. They really showed out. That little girl in front of you was adorable."
"You're her bias, and I think your heart and kiss made her entire day. Month. Life, possibly."
"Well, I wouldn't have seen her and made her entire life if it wasn't for you."
He takes my hands and pulls me close to him, bringing his face near to mine.
"It really is all thanks to me, isn't it? Technically, maybe /I/ made her entire life. You were just the tool."
"Mhm, mhm. Sure..." He trails off, pressing his lips into mine in a much deeper way than the short kiss earlier.
I feel a warmth run through my body, like the warmth of his kiss is being injected into my veins.
He cuts it off suddenly, staying close enough for his lips to still brush against mine. We utter a sentence each before resuming the kiss.
"Thank you for coming and standing out in the cold just for me."
im posting this for what reason? no reason, except that I just don't wanna annoy my friends any further.
positive post abt matpat under the cut
i love this man sm
i've been watching the theorist channels for probably about 7 years now and at this point his voice and face and name and everything just bring me immense amounts of comfort
and i try to separate his online personality from the real person bc i do not know the real person. i know the online personality. i hope that his online personality is just a vamped up version of how he is in regular life, but i don't know that! so to be clear i am talking specifically abt the online personality, not the regular person behind it.
just like. he can make anything sound interesting to me. i read my textbooks and lecture powerpoints in his Theory Voice to make it more engaging to my brain. he could probably make an hour long video about the science of paint drying and i would watch it twenty times.
he seems so kind and genuine. i love hearing fan stories about meeting him. he seems kind but also pretty honest, which i find so much more pleasant than someone who is kind and feels disingenuous.
i just really like matpat. he makes me really happy. theorist videos, gtlives, escape the night season 3, collaborations on other people's channels (markiplier and matpat power wash simulator?? one of my favorite videos ever), no matter what the video is matt is one of my go-to people when i'm stressed out, overwhelmed or overstimulated, feeling panicky, feeling depressed or suicidal, whatever. the sound of his voice is just like. instantly calming. makes it easier to breathe somehow.
i don't care what he's talking about, i just love hearing him talk. i'm so thankful that he started doing game theory and has continued to be the main face of the theorist channels as they've grown so much. i'm sure that in an alternate universe where he never did that, I would have found something else. something else would fill that spot in my life. but in this universe where the theorist channels do exist? i'm so thankful for them, for matpat, and i wouldn't want it any other way.
just wanna make mingyu whine like this while i ride him :((
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRoKdq1f/
link to tiktok
mingyu is so sensitive; with every bounce, the whimpers get louder and more prominent. you can feel his thighs clenching tightly underneath your own, and his hands are balled into fists at his sides. he looks so cute when he's fucked out like this.
you make the effort to bounce a little faster, the breath leaving his body quickly as he tries to keep up with you. his whimpers and whines grow louder until it's all that can be heard in the room. not even your own moans can stand up to his whines.
"so fucking needy, you like when i ride you don't you, baby boy?" the quick nod and whimper assures you he's still semi with you and you decide to take it one extra step further, and flick his nipples.
the shock goes through his system quicker than he can respond to it and before he realizes it, he's cumming hard, white painting your walls while he wails and moans to the loudest degree. you milk him for everything he's got, even after he goes soft and you pull yourself off him.
angsty, short, minor physical violence (a slap across the face), male bias insert
basically just the scenario i imagined as i was falling asleep last night.
He kisses me.
He kisses me hard, with deep intent and passion. It's not just him trying to prove his stupid point. It's him wanting to kiss me.
I kiss back, almost unbeknownst to myself. As if it wasn't a conscious me falling victim to his charm. Or at least that's what I tried to tell myself afterwards.
The kiss lasts for about 10 seconds. I pull away fast, semi-gasping in the process, and instantly slapping him across the face.
He's silent as I walk away, but he soon follows me into the other room.
He finds me just standing there, facing the wall and breathing deeply. He stands next to me, remaining silent for a moment. We both just stare at the wall. No eye contact...
"You can't just keep pretending. What's so bad about wanting to be with me?"
I don't say anything.
"What's the problem with me, huh?"
"Can you just shut up?"
"No! I can't. I can't shut up when you kiss me like that and still pretend that you don't like me. So why? Is it just some 'feelings are hard' bullshit?"
"If I say yes, can we stop talking about this?"
He's silent again, allowing that question to simply fade out before speaking again.
"Be honest with me for once in your life. Can you do that?" He takes my lack of response as a yes and proceeds, now turning his whole body to face me as I continue looking at the wall. But I can see him in my peripheral vision. "If I kissed you again, would you push me away?"
The question weighs heavy in the air as he steps closer to me and the tension between us grows.
"If I kissed you again... just like I did a minute ago... would you hit me again?"
I lose my staring contest with the wall, finally turning my head to face him, with full intention to hold a stern expression and give him a confident "yes" in response...
But there's something about his eyes. There's just something about the soul those eyes look into that causes me to soften in my already vulnerable state. I truly believe my desire for him is the worst thing about me.
And so, even though if you asked me today, I would swear up and down that I acted against my conscience will...
in case anyone isnt aware: if a tumblr post link does not work because the poster has changed their blog name you can just replace the old blog name in the link with the new blog name and then the link to the post should work. i feel like this is common knowledge but i just figured it out myself while trying desperately to locate my merman kevin au from two years ago. found them. god bless
i have this whole one shot abt actual demons possessing ateez "demon line" during performances due to a deal that hongjoong made until one day the demons begin trying to kill them.
so in case anyone is wondering where i went after my smut writing slowed and eventually ended? i went to angst and demons ig !
hi lisa, i’m currently dying rn. turns out my friends knew i was aj from the very start, sixth sense i guess? i’m on call with them rn & they tricked me into finding your blog since you changed your blog name & i realised only after sending it that they wanted it to read everything i wrote. god help me i left the call immediately HAHAHHA
nat & kei if u see this, i hate y’all.
as for lisa, idk if you remember me but i hope you’re doing well. i haven’t been on tumblr in a long while, but it’s nice to see that you’re still here. some of the accs i used to follow deactivated :/. how have you been? :)
- 🧃
well ofc i remember you.
oh wow that's- yikes
i think i'd never show my face again if any of my friends saw what this blog used to be (i say used to be just bc it's not near as active or as nsfw as it used to be, though it still is some)
i'm here, just not very often. i pop in sometimes to say hi, i open the app to just go read some fanfiction here and there. just don't engage in conversation much anymore. no energy for it tbh cause honestly college and work has been killing me and i'm spending my free time doing my crafty hobbies to calm anxiety lol
hi i have a question for the trans community very serious question
so i'm genderfluid, they/he/she, enby subtype yknow all that. yep
on here i go by Lisa cause that's rlly just like.... a pen name I guess you could say. pseudonym of sorts. it's not my birth name nor my current regular-use name
but to use fake names as examples for my question, let's say my birth name is Martha and my current name is Matthew (bc as far as the typical gendering of the names go, that's a pretty accurate comparison)
I go by Matthew and nicknames for Matthew like Matt or Matty (again, not the real name or nicknames lol)
my family still call me Martha cause it isn't safe for me to come out but still-
BASICALLY MY QUESTION IS
is Martha considered a dead name or just an old name?
i hesitate to use the term dead name because i don't want to use a term inaccurately or invade on a space that i do not belong in since i do sometimes still go by she pronouns and feel like a girl (albeit, not often)
i just wanna know if i am or am not permitted to use that term "dead name" for "Martha", as someone who now only goes by Matthew except for on here w the pen name. irrelevant- anyways!
sometimes i forget how truly buff DK is and now i’m thinking about him like manhandling me but not being aware of his strength and being like “omg im so sorry” and then responding “wait no i liked that do it again”
you gasp when your back hits the mattress, the wind suddenly knocked out of you.
it makes you and seokmin both freeze as you process what the fuck just happened— the ‘what the fuck just happened’ in question being seokmin practically throwing you onto the bed like a wwe wrestler about to k.o. their opponent when he’d only meant to playfully shove you…
“baby,” your boyfriend blurts out finally, panic written all over his face as he scrambles onto the bed next to you, “are you okay?! i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean to—”
“seok?” you interrupt, trying to stop the spiraling before it gets out of hand.
“yeah?”
“do that again.”
seokmin cocks an eyebrow in confusion. “what?”
“you heard me. do it again.”
“you want me to… push you?”
“do whatever you want to me,” you sigh out.
you see something click behind seokmin’s eyes as it finally registers.
“oh, baby,” he coos condescendingly, straddling your waist and trapping you beneath his frame. “did that turn you on?”
“y-yes,” you stammer.
your boyfriend grins. “want me to throw you around a little? remind you of just how strong i am?”
you nod frantically and try to lean up to kiss him but he’s quick to restrain you with a hand on each of your shoulders. you struggle helplessly against his hold for a couple more seconds before giving up with a pout.
“you’re cute.”
“you’re mean.”
“isn’t this what you wanted?” seokmin asks. “you made your bed, my love. now lie in it.”
typically i would have a certain boy in mind, but this time i really don't. oddly enough.
i would just love to see him, whoever he happens to be, on his knees on a bed and looking up with the eyes that he hopes will get him whatever he wants. he knows he's sensitive all over, he doesn't even know what he's begging for exactly. he just needs something.
"Touch you? Where, honey?"
"Anywhere... everywhere... please."
he feels as if he could cry in desperation.
god that would just be so sweet
and on a very different note, this song is playing currently. a banger, i love dancing till we drop so much
dailybridgerton
vaporwave
andulkaphoto
pixelskylines
baratheonpilled
dededos
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