Trapped in one of those bottles with a mini boat @your-local-dandy - Tumblr Blog

flaccid penis... it's chic, it's hip, it's the next big thing

#im literally making a penis (technically packer) dollhouse rn #& the one feedback i pushed back the hardest on was when someone asked me to make some erect ones #sorry the point of the project is they're all packers. I'm not out here trying to look like I'm rock hard 24/7 #so. no #they're also all hand sewn (bc that's how I usually make my own) so like… something something literal soft penis

spin-the-wheel-polls

You have became this medieval role, how do you feel about it

you are in the medieval era and you have this role!

How do you feel?

great!! I love this

good!

It's okay

So bad. I hate this

This is similar to my real job!

Results/other

Voting ended onJul 18

#a pilgrim #the thing is that i could definitely see myself as some flavor of devout practitioner #a la a monk/nun #the travel would be hard on my body though #but tbh i would probably be a pilgrim searching for some kind of cure for my sundry ailments though. so yeah that tracks #would my life kinda suck I think? yeah #but does that sound like some likely shit medieval me would be up to? also yeah #if i didn't die of appendicitis when i was 7 ofc

junestrings

through pottery we domesticated rocks

thicque

sometimes theres gold on instagram

#was pitching names to my sister + friend at a coffee shop #saw arthur come up while scrolling & was like 'hey i like that one. i could go by artie'#both agreed it sounded good & then my sister pointed out that if i went through w the whole name i had planned my initials would spell a lad #& i was like. ok it's settled then. that's my name #& haven't looked back since

blueskittlesart

witch hat atelier’s handling of gay representation is arguably just as funny as it is painful because straight out the gate shirahama throws two unmarried men cohabitating and raising multiple children together at you in that special manga way where you can kind of just assume that they’re not officially together purely because it’s not legal in japan. but then in like chapter 50 she introduces two side characters who stare directly into the camera and tell you that gay marriage is legal in zozah so you’re forced to spend the next entire 30-chapter arc wondering what the HELL qifrey’s problem is. and well. then she tells you

woman-respecter

suburban women on september 15 1967 tuning in to star trek and seeing fuck-or-die mode spock getting in a sweaty man fight with captain kirk in amok time

hexbugswallower

Ants have the most badass lives of anything in the animal kingdom, life as an ant is like warhammer

hexbugswallower

Wake up in enormous underground cyberpunk metropolis

Venture outside with your ant buddies to forage scraps from an incomprehensible civilization of alien gods (each one several times larger than the city you've spent most of your life inside) for the glory of your GodMomEmpress

Get attacked by a platoon of soldiers from a rival megacity, they're an offshoot of your species except like twice as big (basically orks) and like 10% of them are genetically modified supersoldiers with wings

Luckily, you've been engineered from birth to spit acid so you and your antfriends successfully defeat the rival ants and their winged miniboss

Die from getting stuck on a jolly rancher

cipheramnesia

Ants are a fun way to look at cosmic horror, because they make complex decisions plus the whole eusocial thing, but most ants weight 1-5 milligrams, is the thing, and the human brain at a couple pounds or so is like without exaggeration a million times heavier than a whole ant. Imagine just... a brain, a whole brain that's a Boeing 747. But if you step back further, human lungs and circulatory system are so alien to most small arthropods. Pushing blood around in tubes would sound demented. Communicating by sound predominantly without pheremones, it would be cacaphonously loud to an ant, our scents would seem like babbling madness. The whole relatively isolated condition of human life must seem like the void is staring back, a being completely unable to see or comprehend the sights and language of insects that holds the power to destroy them all effortlessly. The vastness and total blankness of humanity to the insect is a cosmic horror to me.

#i have often rotated some kind of story/setting based on ants #& specifically using them for metaphors of militarized colonialism #since some species of queen ant will literally eat their own wings after they settle to find a colony #meanwhile wings are typically like. a signifier of insect maturity/adulthood #so the idea of a colony of ants being told by their queen to all shed this part of themself so that they can be Rooted In Place #& physically unable to leave the newly occupied territory #idk it feels like an interesting way to explore the ways colonies self legitimize their existence (via body horror ofc bc im. Me)#but also i literally have Not developed this idea any further than that. so. idk LMAO #yeah yeah we all know that insects' perception of us is a cosmic horror #but have you considered the ways in which their constant state of warfare could be used as a reflection of humanity?#(not in a “war is our natural state” way that shit sucks we can be more creative than that)

local-lesbian-tree-demon

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

redstonedust

the only two blorbo OC characterization questions that matter to me are 1) what would you pick as their fursona 2) what would THEY pick as their fursona. all else is irrelevant.

#i constantly call miller a pathetic wet cat but his fursona would probably be some flavor of rodent. literal street rat #if you were to explain the concept of a fursona to him he would immediately say his sister would be a wolf #(which is true)#but then if you were to ask him what HE would be he would be like. idk. I'm already part alien anyways. does that not count #he's the king of having 0 introspection whatsoever

pmamtraveller

Detail from “The Fall of the Rebel Angels” by Frans Floris, 1554

chubritza

00000000000000z-deactivated2022

Fuck your dream job what’s your dream hobby that you don’t have the means to take up yet. Mine are falconry and aerial acrobatics

#hand tooling leather #I've done some verryyyyy minor leatherworking in the past #but would love to be able to hand tool my own belts/etc…#one day. i know i Will. just… not yet

plaguedocboi

I feel like starfish are one of those animals that are treated as very “normal” by people but absolutely shouldn’t be. Like they’re a wheel of repeating heads connected by a central stomach. They walk around using thousands of tiny sticky hydraulically powered tentacles. They have an eye on the end of each arm. Instead of having a mouth they just have an opening where their entire stomach can be pushed out to engulf prey. And they’re just allowed to exist like this. It’s not illegal or anything.

#also. reproduction via fragmentation #1 worm cut in half might not make 2 worms but 1 starfish's limb getting cut off COULD make 2 starfish #that's fucking insane

currentlycryingaboutlancelot

at the start of every month everyone reblogs some insane poetry that’s like “august has arrived and again I swallow my bones in the burning sun” and every time I’m like damn that makes no sense. but kind of true.

currentlycryingaboutlancelot

omg guys happy bone swallowing august

escuerzoresucitado

what-even-is-thiss

You know when I was a teen with braces my chemistry teacher told me that she stopped wearing her retainer because she would take it off in her sleep and throw it across the room every night and I remember thinking yeah right that’ll never happen to me

Well guess why I had to stop wearing my retainer last year

#this was me w trans tape #i would always wake up in the middle of the night & rip it off #no baby oil no nothing #don't. do what i did #or well. it's not ljke i was exactly making a conscious decision #but still #if you can control it… don't do it like me

shesnake

There are no sex scenes, and all the food looks horrible.

#fucking brutal

elveny

If your business can only be reached and all info about it only be accessed via Facebook or Instagram, know that it isn’t reachable or accessible AT ALL.

The whole metaverse can no longer be properly viewed without an account and I am definitely not making one just to see your contact info or opening hours.

Get a fucking WEBSITE. It can be just a static landing page with the relevant information. But get off the metaverse!

#LITERALLYYYY it makes me so saddd #the amount of tattoo artists i adore but are only accessible via insta 😔#can't a gay little man be a hermit in peace #i knowww i can just make an insta & Not use it but like. i don't wanna :(

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Trapped in one of those bottles with a mini boat