No rain, no flowers. @yoursicklittlegames - Tumblr Blog

I don’t really post on here anymore but I needed an outlet and I couldn’t think of anything else.

I’m moving out. I have started my official NQT year. My relationship that ended 6 months ago somehow managed to end all over again, and I can’t even explain how or why that came about or why it wasn’t properly over when it came to an end.

I feel like I can’t do anything right at the moment. People keep picking so many flaws with how I talk, how I respond to situations - just the things that make me who I am as a person. It’s happening so often that I keep panicking that there is more than a bit of truth in it and that I just can’t do things right.

I feel sick and like I’m breaking.

c0rpsebby

people always say that it hurts at night and apparently screaming into your pillow at 3am is the romantic equivalent of being heartbroken. but sometimes it’s 9am on a tuesday morning and you’re standing at the kitchen bench waiting for the toast to pop up and the smell of dusty sunlight and earl grey tea makes you miss them so much you don’t know what to do with your hands.

clrythclrfr-deactivated20200527

Priority

I’m at that point where I’ve realized I am no one’s priority. I’m just a choice, an option that happens to be there when their actual go-to person isn’t around. That girl that people are close with or talk to quite often, but don’t actually consider as their best friend. That person that someone looks at and thinks: “Eh, you’ll do.”

I’m trying to be okay with it. I mean, it’s not the end of the world if no one considers me as “their person”, right? I have friends anyway. Not best friends, or people I can call my own since those I consider to be don’t feel the same, but at least I have friends. That should be enough for me.

Yet here I am, tears rolling down my cheeks as I type these words. Maybe I’m overthinking and/or overreacting. Over-everything. Maybe it’s my own fault I feel like this right now, since I hand out my affection like flowers in the spring. I dive in head first, not stopping to think if the person actually wants me there. Maybe this is the price I pay for being such a naïve idiot.

I’m not at the top or first of anybody’s list of people. And I probably won’t ever be. I’ll always be the backup plan, the second choice, and the almost.

The thought already kills me.

conscious-love

You deserve a relationship that enables you to sleep peacefully at night.

R. H. Sin

lilpieceofmyworld

lifeisbutabeautifuldream-deacti

“Know this: you can start over each morning.”

— (via purplebuddhaquotes)

thepersonalquotes

http://ift.tt/2gCrgoH

kaeepet

Surround yourself with people who give what you give.

remanence-of-love

infpisme

When you make the mistake of sleeping with your ex boyfriend, even though you know you’re just being used and you’ll end up feeling 10x worse. I am genuinely an idiot.