[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Thinking of getting into the wedding industry where I offer my services to brides with overbearing families and my job will be to remind everyone else it is NOT their wedding. I can do passive aggressive, private aside with a vaguely threatening air, or just telling them to shut the fuck up in front of everyone.

The plan is you tell them I'm your fiance's estranged step sister so they'll even sympathize with you for being stuck with me instead of hate you when I tell them no one wants to hear about why they rudely disagree with your veil choice.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Say Yes to the Dress but I'm there with a foghorn I use every time someone thinks we need their rudeass opinion

[vivienvalentino]

BRANDON LEE as Eric Draven in The Crow, 1994

[lilacwine1966-deactivated202212]

i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

[lakevida]

if i was good at oil painting i would never be online i’d just be doing oil painting and drugs and an all-smoothie diet for the sake of convenience. life could be a dream

[podencos]

[podencos]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[pyrlspite]

[kissingtheskies-deactivated2021]

girls don't want dick pics. girls want videos of you jerking off w/ audio.

[leatherboibutch]

it’s just me n my raging praise kink against the world

[whitepeopletwitter]

[hostilemuppet]

i dont know what any of your icons are i just notice the vague colour patterns and thats it

[hostilemuppet]

oh fuck predominantly green with orange and white accents just posted i love them

[ironmaidenhead]

The VVitch: A New England Folktale (2015) dir. Robert Eggers

[meanplastic]

anyone 6'0 or taller: stands near me

me: [softly] for fuck's sake

[mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours]

[prsephonies-deactivated20200815]

im too much of a baby for tinder i wanna meet people the old fashioned way where we’re both on either side of a fish tank and notice each other thru the water… 

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

When a drunk girl outside a club bathroom speaks… you listen. If she tells you that you’ll find love despite being hurt in the past? She’s right. If she tells you to stop being so self-aware? She’s right. They are the modern day Oracles at Delphi and must be taken at their every word

[guarded-affection]

outside after a lesbian concert (King Princess), i asked a girl dressed as jesus if she forgave me. a drunk girl ran up and slurred “i don’t mean to interrupt, but you don’t need to be forgiven. you don’t need to be forgiven.”

[mycorruptedmindd]

if i ever opened up to you i was joking