Not A Robot

Beep boop beep

[shitpostinguniverse]

[trueshredguitar]

i love that post thats like “never trust how you feel about your life after 9pm” that shit changed my life. every time i feel bad i look at the clock and i’m like Aha It’s 10:26 PM You Cannot Fucking Fool Me

[moveslikekeithrichards]

when interdimensional travel becomes common the dead giveaway that youre a tourist will be which off-brand cola you order

[moveslikekeithrichards]

you go to the restaurant & order a diet dr chunks like its normal & the waitress goes "oh we got a guy from bargle 12 here"

[willgrahamscock]

I’m losing my mind at the implications that this show was so gay that two men kissing wasn’t going to add to it’s gayness 

[ruinedchildhood]

[ruinedchildhood]

[hawkofkrypton]

[headlesswarlock]

“WHATS THIS? WHATS THIS?”

[headlesswarlock]

i wish i never made this post ill never get my dash back

[keiko-evans]

Yes

[feels-fics-fandoms]

It’s a tradition to bring this back, I’ve got it schedule for like the next eight years to post this on the first and last day of October

[pavak]

[funnytwittertweets]

[gibgobbler]

they lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship

[bulldyke-rider-deactivated20251]

"Do I deserve this?" "Am I worthy of this?"

So irrelevant. Do you want it?

[forgottenpnffacts]

-Major Monogram understands hash house lingo

-Major Monogram likes to eat scrambled eggs and toast for lunch

[phineas-and-herb]

it’s 20th century american diner lingo, i don’t think many people use it anymore, but i happen to have on-hand a guide from a book-set by julia rothman if you’d like some more examples

[probablyfunrpgideas]

Idea: thieves’ cant but for chefs.

[xueyangapologist]

just let out the most horrific wheezing laugh i’ve ever heard

[ryebreadgf]

women will end up on a tree-lined street

[cryptotheism]

are you pro or anti iran

[the-tree-line]

instead of putting my mental illnesses in my bio (stupid. unsafe. a trend that needs running into the ground) i like to spinkle a little bit of it into all of my posts for my followers to discover like a crossword puzzle (fun. sense of mystery and discovery. privacy retained)