⋆｡°✩ WHY DO I STILL WAKE UP TWO IN THE MORNING COLD SWEAT SCREAMING YOUR NAME ?✩°｡⋆
pudu | 20s | sher/her | intp |
completely delusional, fully self indulgent blog - so don't expect much from me haha
my current favs: alhaitham, kazuha, scara, yukimiya kenyu, nagi seishiro and itoshi sae - pls talk to me about them
and oliver aiku + miya atsumu but don't tell them i said that
fandoms: mainly genshin impact + blue lock, i am also into kpop (nct, svt,), haikyuu, jjk, aot (not spoiler free at all i have read all the mangas)
masterlist - sfw + suggestive, not rlly into nsfw,
im thinking about switching blogs because this is a side blog and i kinda wish it was just a main so if no one is interacts with this ima do it and not announce and just start fresh
in which oliver aiku swears your his favorite, even though he's the most self centered, inconsiderate, apathetic asshole to ever exist.
- this is quite literally just word vomit, nothing really happens honestly
- implied past sexual relations, a lil toxic and intoxicated, lil suggestive, fuckboy oliver aiku, not proofread
-over my dead body would i ever let him hit, i swear no cap
oliver aiku, with all his glory and dignity, was standing at your front door clearly intoxicated.
this isn't the first time you've witnessed this scene, but it definitely wasn't a common occurrence. with you arms across your chest, you impatiently wait for his newest excuse for disturbing your sleep in the middle of night.
"hey baby," he grins, eyes barely peeking through his shaggy bangs. "what are you still doin' awake at this hour?"
"why are you here?" you immediately snapped, not allowing him to have control of the conversation at hand.
"aw c'mon stop playin'," he coos as he reaches over to wrap an arm around you. "you know why i'm here."
"i do huh?" you push his arms back.
"stop that," he groans as he muscles his way back onto your body. believing that you were no match for strength. "just say you miss like you always do."
"wrong girl," you shove your shoulder into his chest and try to create space between you two, earning a slight wince as you escape his grasp. "go home aiku."
"baby, you know you're my favorite." he follows you into your house, closing the door behind him. you internally scream at your own instincts for failing to immediately slam the door in his face.
"you say that to every girl."
"that's not true sweetie, you've always been special."
"god it's like you literally have no soul." you finally halt your angry rapid steps, whipping around to face him. "just always copy and pasting a script to any girl that has the honor of your grace.
you wish you could confidently say you saw just a glimpse of hurt in his slightly widened eyes when you spit your insults at him, but you knew better then that. oliver aiku was just a carcass of a boy, not a drop of love, goodness or consideration in his blood.
he knows he can't be offended by words that couldn't be any truer. did it still sting a little because it came out of your mouth? who knows?
"aw cmon, who do you call when your black out drunk? and who do i coming running to when i'm drunk?" he points out.
as your cringe at the multiple flashbacks of your not so proudest moments, he sneaks up to you, pressing his forehead against yours. as you are about to shove him off again, your hands freeze at his chest as you meet his secret weapon - the ever so enchanting perfectly mismatched eyes.
"it's like, we're made for each other." he encases you hands with his own, holding them close to his chest while his eyes sparkle into yours, as if they're trying to envelop you in some ridiculous fairy tale.
that dramatic statement easily brings you back to reality though. was he always this dramatic? did he always talk like a character from movies like the notebook?
"intoxication does not define a relationship," you scoff and look away, regaining your composure and attempt to push him again. "now get off of me you disgusting drunkard."
"fine you're right, but i do have some redeeming qualities ya know?" he smirks, satisfied by your slip up and winning back the upper hand. his confidence is now back in tenfold.
"do you now?" you ridicule. "i haven't seen any."
"i bring you take out when your busy studying for finals, heck i even remember when you have finals!" he proudly puffs his chest out at something so miniscule to you. "i even bring you medicine afterwards too, since you get sick every single time."
"so you're like, my servant?" you slowly spell out.
"you know what, that has a nice ring to it." he winks at you with a cheeky grin as he flattens your fingers against the buttons of his shirt that is barely covering his chest. "i'd love to be your servant."
the devil works hard, but when it comes to chasing pussy, oliver aiku suddenly has the drive of a college student using adderall the night before their finals for a failing class.
"in your dreams." you swat his hands away, knowing exactly what kind of servant he actually wants to be.
"hopefully when i'm awake too."
"you are such an asshole." you start moving towards your room again, hopefully you'll be able to slam the door on his face this time.
"so are you," he pouts. "you're wounding me sweetheart."
"i wish i could physically wound you." the audacity this man had to continue his attempts of buttering you up even as you were about to bitch slap him across the face was unbelievable.
"what if i just wanted innocent cuddles, someone to just keep me warming during these cold nights?"
"nothing that comes out of your mouth is innocent. and it is literally summer." you state flatly, now really wanting to slap him. "can you just go home now, i'm tired of talking in circle with you."
"you're right, i'm tired too. lets just shut up." he grins as finally he envelops you in a hug that not even arnold schwarzenegger himself could probably escape, muffling your voice into his chest before you can say anything else.
he was way too warm, probably from all the alcohol, and it was hard to fight back. you try to wiggle out only to be met with a playful hum. once your movements finally stills, he sighs into your hair, fingertips gripping at your waist tighter then they already were.
"see?" he starts waddling you both into your bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him. "there's no point in being mean, even if it is a little hot."
now your grateful to be in his embrace to hide your completely flushed cheeks.
you always knew why you hated him. because even if it was just for a brief moment, you loved being special to him. you loved being the apple to his eye. you loved the attention he gave you and you hated that you would probably do anything keep him all of it to yourself.
as aiku drops the both of you onto the bed, his drunk thoughts are finally beginning to settle in. he is not vulnerable man, but even he could admit that this just felt right. your bed holding the two of you, his arms securing you in his chest, your warmth enveloping him and his heartbeat steadily thumping against yours, as if it was trying to find your heart to sync with.
no amount of alcohol could ever make him deny this comfort. if anything, it just made him hungrier to greedily snatch it from you, even if he knew he wasn't worthy of your love.
"this is all i came here for." he whispers as if he was letting you in on one of his secrets. he figures you deserved a little bit of his vulnerability in exchange for bypassing his selfish actions.
i really needed to shit but im also chronically stuck in bed 24/7 especially because i dont have a job anymore so i feel like itoshi sae would just ignore my comments
"i didn't know going blind was something to find cute"
in which you're going blind but you wish you could just straight up not see alhaitham at all anymore
-no warnings, just fluff and mutual pining, not proofread, in honor of my vision just getting worse and worse and i snapped my glasses in half ha ha
reading papers had become increasingly difficult, menus suddenly don't list out your favorite foods, and the boundaries between friendship and romance were starting to blur.
obviously the last statement wasn't the reason for your new glasses but after your fellow classmates tell you it isn't normal to mistake a cat for a rabbit, even if you were almost a mile away, you figured it was time to invest in some spectacles aids.
it was unfortunate that were no such things as alhaitham aids. alhaitham was always complicated to read, from his expressions, opinions to his literal hand writing and especially his actions.
he often walked you back to your office after lunch, claiming that it was on the way anyways. last week in the early morning, he brought you a cup of coffee, saying that the barista made him an extra because he looked tired and refused to drink it just to prove her wrong. one time he even walked over to your office, on his own accord, just to hand you back a measily pen you accidentally left behind.
but of course, these events could easily be read in the other direction. you just happened to be on his path. he didn't want to waste a perfectly drinkable coffee despite his stubbornness. maybe he was in a cleaning mood and needed fresh air and time away from his extremely suffocating office anyways so he just dropped the pen on the way.
alhaitham and you were not dating by any means and that was definite. so you don't understand why you're so hesitant to enter his office. you were just here to pass off some of your students research for the grand sage's approval and nothing else.
it's the repeated scene you see weekly as you enter his office, eyes still stuck on his desk, not wavering at all from your presence, chin rested on his folded fingers supported by his elbow on the table and his nose bridge slightly scrunched in annoyance because of the massive workload constantly covering his table.
"i have more reports that need your approval." you start, trying to shift his attention.
"sure, how many? if there isn't a lot i can sign them off right now for you." he only nods at words.
you mind can't help but hang on the last two words. was he implying only for you? just you? you needed to snap out of it, alhaitham doesn't see people as individuals or even cared enough to try, you know that.
but deep down you can't help it. even this simple favor felt special, only because it was coming from alhaitham. this could easily just be him trying to get you out of his hair as fast as possible, or it could be a special favor he'd only do for you. you really couldn't tell from him.
"four." you count through the stacks as you try to avoid glancing at him in fear of staring too long. he was almost too easy on the eyes, especially when he's focused.
"i'll just do them right now then," he then looks up at you, just briefly as he stretches out hand ready to take the papers from you. "i just brewed some tea, help yourself to a cup while you wait."
did he often offer his tea to others? did he instantly prioritize anyone's work as long at they just enter his office? are these actions normal? for him? you pour yourself a cup of tea as you rest on his couch and ponder these thoughts.
"you got new glasses." he interrupts flatly, as if he's just noting an observation in the reports he's reviewing.
you can't help even noting the way he says you. it's very rare for the sentences that alhaitham says "you" in to be not followed by a critique or insult.
"well they're on my face and have never been before right?" you say back, reflecting his tone. "but i guess i'm surprised you even noticed."
"they're cute."
you almost spit out your drink. you didn't expect "cute" to be within his vocabulary bank or if he even had the neurotransmitter to help him translate what things were actually cute to him in his brain.
"what?" you scoff, almost stuttering as you try to hide your aghast. "i didn't know going blind was something to find cute, only you would think that."
"your interpretations of my statements are incorrect," he still does not face you, shifting through the papers much too casually. "i find that the frame of your new glasses gives you a new enhancement to your overall attractiveness."
leave it to him to make sure his point is always made, completely bulldozing over your efforts at avoiding his blatant compliment.
"thanks?" you offer, unable to form a more educated response you normally give him.
"is that a question?" he asks, seemingly puzzled by your reaction. "you don't have to thank me if you prefer not to though i do appreciate your opinions as much as you do mine."
"no i just," you attempt to start as he clears his throat.
he finally looks at you, eyebrow raised. he puffs his bangs out of his face so that both his eyes are directly looking at you, analyzing your flushed face, eyes widened only by a smidge and mouth agape. for some odd reasons, he feels a sort of satisfaction eliciting a reaction like this from you, but has yet been able to pinpoint why.
"i just wasn't expecting the word cute to be within your dictionary," you clear your throat and push your glasses back up on your nose bridge in order to compose yourself again. "you surprised me, that is all."
"is this a case of when women refuse compliments from the man they like?" he chuckles, still repeating your moment of daze in his mind, as if he was trying to ingrain it in his brain instead of reading the reports like he promised you.
"woah woah," you start, completely blindsided from this almost exposure of your feelings you were not ready to admit. "slow your horses, who said i liked you?"
"y/n, i am no idiot but i didn't think you were though."
"what is that suppose to mean?"
"it's simple really," he noted as he finally sets the papers down. "i like you, you like me."
"i did not take you for a man to assume conclusions like this," you say with as much poise you have left in you, completely ignoring his candid confession. "what makes you think i like you?"
"actions, reactions, your words," he simply states, not going into any detail at all. "are you going to keep denying it?
"you know what, i'll just come back for the reports later." you start getting up, refusing to look him the eyes. you knew your dignity was starting to fall and you were not ready for alhaitham to pick it up and hand it back to you along with the small pieces of your heart you've scattered in this room.
with a huff you turn to the door. dusting yourself off, you reach for the doorknob, trying to get out of this suddenly stuffy and warm room.
"no need," you can hear him shifting in his chair as signaled by the screech it made. "i'll swing by after your evening lecture. speaking of, you should really change the time of that lectu-"
"you will not, i do not want to see you."
"but i do." he continued. "you can't really refuse the acting grand sage's attendance for a lecture check in, can you now?"
completely frazzled now, you just dash out the door before he can say anything else, leaving him completely proud and satisfied with your interaction.
he couldn't wait to see your reaction when he enters the lecture, excited by the idea of seeing you flustered for him again.
as your racing back to your office, you take off your glasses, hoping that somehow the vision of alhaitham just shamelessly flirting with you would just completely disappear.
omg yall are crazy, i was away from the computer all weekend and my second (only my second!) post has almost 2k notes. thank u so much for the love, i will try my best to keep this blog alive and post frequently <333
in which some boy tries to confess to you, his girlfriend
ft. alhaitham & wanderer (there's clear favoritism here)
-fluff, not proofread
ALHAITHAM
no matter how many books this man has opened, he himself has always been a closed one. he never lets anyone know his true feelings or thoughts, so much so that people wonder if he even has them. he's cold, unsympathetic, withdrawn, any red flag adjective that is in the dictionary.
so how on earth is someone romantically linked to the acting grand sage? because of this, there are many onlookers who always want some sort of exclusive sneak peek into you guy's relationship.
some believe you've blackmailed him, others think alhaitham is conducting a psychological study on romance, you personally believe it's because no one else would be able to withstand his snarky remarks and he's aware of it.
these hypotheses are what leads you here, standing in front of one of your random classmates as he tries his best to hide his embarrassment behind his brazen grin.
"i would treat you right," he proudly announces, a crowd slowly starting to gather.
you can hear whispers surrounding you people are starting to stare down at the both of you from the upstairs railing.
"wow the acting grand sage isn't paying enough attention to her."
"he probably would be way more loving"
"honestly, would alhaitham even care?"
that last one couldn't possibly be the farthest from the truth.
alhaitham, even if he never admitted it, was stuck to you like those annoying tiny stickers that are just randomly on fruit. you just find him on you without even realizing it.
"let me take you on one date! that's it! and then you can decide if you want me or him!" the boy take your silence as invitation to continue his case. "i promise you'll have a fun time."
and before you can even answer him, kaveh and alhaitham finally enter the court, their bodies just barely peeking between the gaps of the crowd.
"heh, alhaitham, your girl is getting confessed to!" kaveh giggles while nudging the latter. "are you just gonna let him have her?"
suddenly the group opens space for the two of them, giving alhaitham more time to investigate his surroundings. his eyes meet yours first, the usual bore and tiredness greeting you. the whispers are now hushed as everyone anticipates his response, but he says absolutely nothing.
"look acting grand sage," the boy starts again, and you find it hard to not roll your eyes. "sure, you're great at your scribing and grand sage-ing, but a girlfriend isn't a job, its a duty that i definitely could fulfill better than you."
kaveh is now roaring with laughter, a stark contrast from alhaitham's unchanging face. you're now anticipating his response now, wondering if he would finally publicly claim you as his and only his or if he would just not entertain the conversation and leave you to deal with it, like always.
"look, just do whatever you want. i'd prefer to not waste my time and energy entertaining whatever this is." exactly what you anticipated, you can't help but smirk at your perfect prediction.
the silence was loud, almost overbearing as you watch some drop their jaws at his audacity. it even takes the boy aback, shocked that he would so easily give you away.
"alhaitham!" kaveh starts scolding, "what is wrong with you? are you crazy? do you eve-"
"i meant," alhaitham interrupts after clearing his throat. you can see the annoyance start settling in and patience running thin. "you can try, but i can easily conclude that your efforts will remain fruitless."
"excuse me?" the boy scoffs, a weak attempt at hiding his embarrassment.
"she would never fall for someone as inadequate and desperate as you."
after one more quick glance, flashing you just a glint of his mischievousness, he's off. cape and hair all dramatically swishing to follow his swift footsteps. your feet move before you can even think, instantly trying to catch up to his long strides as everyone watches your lovestruck eyes only follow him.
as everyone, including kaveh, watches you two disappear around the corner in shock, alhaitham can't help but roll his eyes as he feels you linking his arms with his. he knows damn well he would never let you leave and let someone else see that stupid little grin on your face.
he's arrogant, maybe a little more possessive then he let's on and extremely rude, but was he ever wrong?
WANDERER
scaramouche always loves a good a tussle, even if it was against your wishes. you've seen him physically fight off people twice his size, spit his venomous insults to anyone who would even try to whisper within his hemisphere, but never in your life did you think you would have to watch him bicker with a six year old and specifically, about you.
"y/n is princess and you're garbage!" the short boy exclaims as aggressively as his young voice could allow. "i'm making her my girlfriend!
"oh could you now?" your boyfriend scoffs back. "i'd like to see you try."
"watch me!" he scowls and scurries up to you. he pulls out flowers from behind his back and hands them to you as he announces, "i picked these for you because they are pretty just like you!"
"aw thank you!" you graciously accept the flowers, slightly smirking over at the older boy. "you know, scara has never picked me flowers before."
"ha!" the kid laughs at him, sticking his tongue out. "see? y/n is going to fall in love with me."
scaramouche is visibly upset now, watching you entertain the boy and poke his small unnecessarily adorable button nose. he knows your teasing him and it angers him more.
"well i'll have you know!" scaramouche crosses his arm across his chest, puffing in pride with his chin up refusing to look at the two of you. "y/n likes men who are taller then her."
"just wait for me y/n! i'm already half his height and im still growing, unlike that old man!"
"old? i'm not old! you're the one who's too young for her to begin with!" he looks down at the boy with a menacing glare.
"i'll be the same age as her soon!" the boy stands his ground, the boyish confidence radiating from him
"you don't even know her!" how could you possibly be in love with her!?"
"i do know her! she's a princess!"
you can tell your hot headed boyfriend was starting to run out of comebacks. it's hard to fight a kid's reason and logic and scara was already lacking in patience as is. as much as you love seeing the ever so cold and rude scaramouche all worked up and jealous, you kneel down to the younger one, finally ceasing all agruements.
"i'm sorry kid, i really appreciate the flowers, but you're going to be waiting eons for me." you pat his head, offering a gentle a smile. "don't worry, as long as you give them your hand picked flowers, i promise any girl will fall for you."
"and if you fall girls that don't already have a boyfriend," scara annoyingly butts in.
once the boy leaves, not before exchanging tongue spits at scaremouche one more time, you feel two arms wrap around your waist from behind.
"do you actually like handpicked flowers?" he mumbles into your shoulder, his warm ears just barely brushing against your neck
"yea" you hummed, picking at the sweet petals as you try to suppress your giggles for his sake. "only if they're from this slightly taller, much more angry dude who wears a hat twice his size."
in which nagi can't tell if you or the pocky stick in between you lip is more of a pain
-fluff, not proofread heh, kinda ooc but whatever
it had a been a hot day and the last thing nagi wanted to do was play soccer - or anything for that matter, he could only dream of never needing to move again. as most of his classmates start filing out of the classroom, hes still sitting at his desk, hoping that reo doesn't show up anytime soon so he could enjoy the air conditioned classroom a little longer. just when he thought he was the only one left, he starts hearing snapping behind him, as if someone was breaking pencils one at time.
when he turns around, his eyes meet your figure, leaning back against your chair. one hand held your phone scrolling through tiktok and the other holding a snack, specifically a pocky stick.
as you're clearly in your own world, he finds himself disturbed by the way you eat your pocky, breaking the sticks into halves until it was too small to be broken instead of just chewing it down like most people. it's less efficient and is quite noisy. as he's navigating his initial distaste, a new thought enters his mind - if the pocky or your lips would be sweeter. the new debate sends his mind in whirl, using way to much of his brain power. he sighs and buries himself back into his arms, nose brushing the top of his desk as he's regretting the silly idea.
"oh! y/n! you're still here?"
both you and nagi dart your head at the familiar voice, both confused, nagi as to why reo is calling your name and not his, and you, unsure as to who could possibly be calling your name at this time.
"oh hi reo," you smiled back, pocky still in between your teeth. "i don't think i'll make it to the train station in this heat without mentally preparing myself."
"well, good thing you don't have to play soccer in this weather like this one," reo grins and he slams his arm around his best friend's shoulder. "are you ready my treasure?"
"still a wild concept" you snorted, and nagi doesn't miss snap that pocky makes when you bite into it again. "i can't believe you're still playing."
sure, nagi was talented, but he lacked drive, passion and any form of motivation. you question if he even finds it enjoyable, but at the same time, did any thing really give him joy?
the direct eye contact you make with him is brief. he sees the soft glint in your eyes, playful and inviting. he isn't someone who feels overwhelmed normally, but right now his chest slightly tightening at the locked gaze is definitely making him feel something. he can feel his own eyes reacting to yours, dilating at your amusement. before you can react, you're both quickly interrupted.
"just watch us!" reo grins with his other hand pumping into the air, cheeks squeezing against nagi's scrunched face. "the world cup is going to be ours!
reo has always been so head strong and as much it has always been something that you admired about, even if others though he was being absolutely ridiculous, it only confuses you more as to why he picked nagi.
you only chuckle as you break another pocky, making nagi wiggle his nose in confused irritation. why did it bother him so much? was it the way you basically caught the piece with only your tongue? maybe it was the way your lips pursed so neatly around it? or was it just the cracking sound it made?
"yea yea," you nonchalantly add, "looking forward to my all expense paid trip to the future world cup!"
and as you wave the pocky in their faces with the biggest brightest smile on your face, nagi swears he sees the same light that shines on his little cactus choki every morning. he can't help but stare.
but his lingering eyes go unnoticed as reo walks towards the door, taking a quick stop by your desk. he fishes for a few pocky sticks, thanking you for the preworkout treat.
"nagi! let's go before the team gets mad, but i guess no one gets mad at the star players huh?"
he shoves his bag over his shoulder, not caring about reo's constant gnawing of the sticks, even if he was eating it the "correct way."
as he's walking past you, he's unconsciously watching your lips again, the pocky being so distracting. your eyes shift between his and the pouch of sweets in your hand. puzzled, he pauses in front of you, wordlessly questioning your intentions with a tilt of his head.
"did you want a preworkout snack too?" you ask, pulling out a stick for him. your eyes lock again, as if your orbs somehow trapped him in is place.
"sure," he's always been frank with his words. with his hands comfortably shoved in his pockets, he tilts his flexible body sideways, eyelashes fluttering right in front of yours as he bites off the half piece of pocky stick right from your fingers. your ears ring with only the sound of your heart beat and the very clean and clear snap of the pocky.
your jaw can't help but drop a little, staring blankly as if he had just ripped the bag from your hands and threw the leftover sticks in your face. you can't tell if your in shock because of the proximity of his face or if your upset he took the best part of the pocky, leaving you with just the plain, non-chocolate coated cracker. but before you can even say anything, his back is already facing away from, meeting reo at the door.
"thanks." he doesn't fully face you, opting for a a slight look over his shoulder, only seeing the small glint in his eyes as he shifts his perfectly functioning hands onto the back of his neck. "see you later."
and as he and reo finally exit the room, all you could hear was your tiktok, unpaused and stuck on the same sound as you hide your flushed face in your fingers.
act fool, act fool, act fool.
bonus:
as reo is dragging him away, nagi cannot understand why he is still annoyed. he got the tempting snack and is nibbling it down the correct and most efficient way. he wonders if taking the stick directly from your soft lips instead of your hands would've satisfied his cravings instead.
