Seeing videos of happy trans people and the first thing I should feel is joy, but it gets drowned out because all of a sudden I see outside of myself and get a good look at how I haven't moved an inch since I realized I was trans. It's been 6? 8? It's been a lot of years and I'm still. Like this. I know transitioning takes time but it just all hit me at once and I'm fighting back tears because how will I ever face the world looking like this and sounding like this and walking like this and these big fucking markers on my chest. I never cry this shit sucks.













