b me

i gotta free me, further away from you. the further i go, the closer i get to no worries. nobody can’t stop me. i let you go fearlessly. gotta free me, no worries. now i’m leaving you, be me. dug the inside of my head boredly. now i’m leaving you, be me. the more i let you go the higher i fly.

[yumiyh]

yooo !!!! i loved yunhwa but it's time to move on~ let me know if y'all wanna keep in touch so i can send you my discord !! (esp you, lovely mods 🥺🥺🥺 show ur selves i already miss u)

[yumiyh]

     she slammed on the brakes. his question was a complete shock. it filled her mind with silence. nothing could exist except his words. they rang in her mind, just once, and did not need to do anything more.      it was sad, but it was what she needed. the sickeningly bitter medicine.      the stinging in her welling eyes brought her back to the empty restaurant.      she stared at him lifelessly. through all his questions, through all his pushes, she just took it. she had become a steel wall before him.      finally, she pressed her lips together. her nose stung. she could feel it reddening. she felt like a child. she could not speak, she could only nod and sniff.      “i do. i miss them. i miss them taking care of me.” she admitted in a whisper. the tears grew so much that they rolled down her cheeks. the stinging of her eyes and her nose moved to her heart.      she rubbed at it with her long sleeve. she took deep breaths, like mother always insisted. she bit her lip, hard, to try and keep herself from weeping further.       a sudden reality hit her. she looekd around, and laughed.      she loosened and fell forward, just barely laughing, and her elbows fell onto the table top.      “oh my god, i really hope i don’t get totally fired from this.” she can not help but let the chuckles escape her.      she sat back up. “sorry i made you sit through all this, i know, it’s, like, a whole weird and complicated thing.” she still wiped her eyes, trying to calm them more than she tried to calm herself. “but thanks for listening. i know- ugh, sorry,”      she held her face. she took a deep breath. she came out and looked him in the eyes.      “i still don’t know what i’m going to do, i haven’t talked to them in so long, but,” she tilted her head. suddenly, the eye contact was too much to bare, “i think, you’re right, it’s not,” her tears started up again. she pushed through, “i’ve already made them- i can’t make it much worse by trying to make it better, can i.”

[yumiyh]

     “what the fuck? just enjoying some tangerines?” she laughed, looking out into the ocean. he was, in no pathetic way, an absolute joke. she was happy to save the fruit, though. she had zero dollars in her account, and so, zero dollar tangerines were better than zero breakfast.      she smiled as he seemed to help put the fruit back in the basket. she put all of what she could collect back, too, and looked down into the box as if it were a deep trench.      she looked up at him, hearing his tangerine-related sob story. she just chuckled at him and plopped down on the other side of the box, keeping her distance from him. she took one out, and without much thought, began to peel. she sucked at it, but, bit by bit, it got done.      “so, you, just, like, go around dumping literal waste into the ocean? that’s totally wild. why don’t you, just, i dunno, do something else- do they go away after a few days? i come here all the time, but, i’ve never seen any tangerine droppings or anything.”      she was still peeling when he held one out to her. she looked up, smiled, and took the fruit. she kept her half peeled one in her lap.      she took a bite. her eyes closed immediately. the juice that seeped out was pure sugar. it was the perfect balance of sweetened juice and the stinging taste of citrus. she hummed, loudly, at her first bite. she kept her eyes totally closed, relishing in the food.      “ugh,” she finally spoke, “god, i can’t remember the last time i ate right after swimming. i thought i was gonna have to miss dinner, but, nope.” while she spoke she stared at the tangerine. she shoved the rest into her mouth. she danced in the sand! “these are seriously so delicious.”      she went back to peeling her old one. then, she stopped. she almost dropped the thing in the sand. she furrowed her brows at him.      “wait- for real? you always have left overs like this?”      she looked at the huge box.      free food? it was too good to be true.      "dude!” she reached over and slapped his shoulder, hard. “don’t mess with me like this! i will totally take them, but, only if you’re not messing with me.”

[yumiyh]

     yumi took a deep breath. she sighed out. she looked down on him, sadly. how could someone who was born and raised in such a beautiful country never see the beauty of it? will he ever get to see is home’s beauty? he already seems to hate it, or, at the very least, not even realize that it exists.      her smile came right back with his words. she nodded, fondly, “there’s no one to tell us it’s wrong.”      she fully laid back down to listen to him. this time, on her stomach, and she laid closer to him than before. a strong temptation to drape her leg over his urged her. she kept herself firmly in the sand.      she bit her lip, then shook her head. she spoke solemnly, like she was keeping a secret from the waves.      “no. i don’t know what it’s like. it sounds hard. . . i’m sorry.”      she could hardly bare the thought of it. she had never once been told that she was going to be great, or even good, just okay. she got all kinds of grades in school, but with every test, the next conversation was about the stupid fruit stand. she did well in sports, but still, fruit fruit fruit. to be put on a weird pedestal and then knocked off, it was so foreign, for, her parents never even considered lending her a stepstool.      but, once more, he brought back her smile. she pressed her lips together but still smiled so wide that her ears perked up.      “a new normal? totally.” she nodded firmly.      she did not want to move, but she was up, on her hip, and looking out into the sea. it was getting dark. she worried the ‘beach police’ would come and make them get out of the water. the thought made her toes tickle.      “what, you mean you don’t like the sand all up in your hair? but, it’s, like, exfoliating or whatever.” she joked.      she looked at him with a new kind of smile. it was that of a child about to steal cookies from the cookie jar.      she moved to squat above the sand, then grabbed a handful, slammed it on his stomach, and took off! she ran into the water, laughing wildly, and dove underneath for protection. when she came out, still beaming, she finally looked behind at her victim.

[yumiyh]

    the bag of ice, yumi thought, was frankly sad. since when did older boy start simping for younger girls so hard? she was partly disgusted and partly intruiged. why was he so. . . and she stopped. her brain completely stopped. it, simply, moved on, and she was off thinking about her next strawberry flavored treat.      in line, she thought she was semi-clear of him, but, there he was, right behind her, with that sad pack of ice still in his hand. the thought of how painful it must feel flashed in her mind. she bit her lip looking at it, then at him.      she shook her head and took it roughly.      “well, i guess if it will make you feel better, it’s an old bruise, but, i can do it. it’s not even a big deal, though.” she looked away from him. she held the ice on her arm, gently. she suddenly realized how heavy it was. it was not heavy in weight.      when was the last time- will this guy hold it on my arm for me? i haven’t had someone take care of me in forever. . . dad would hold it for me. he would. and mom. i guess it’s too late. did i screw everything up? do they hate me for real now? ugh. what is wrong- why did i do that, i mean, to be free, duh, but!      “next!”      yumi swallowed. she bit her lip again. would you hold this ice for me?      “well, i mean, like, knock yourself out, man, i’m not gonna stop you for paying for some broke kid’s drink.”      she stepped up to the stand, ice pack freezing off her fingers, “uuh, hey, can we get a strawberry lemonade,” then, she turned to him, as if they were close friends, and gently asked, “what do you want?”

[yumiyh]

     yumi was totally not into his sob story. something about awkward this, awkward that, why did he even bother? if he was so awkward, why not talk to more people? never did yumi’s face falter, but her brain screwed and clanked trying to think of how people like him can even live.      that- she was interested. her jaw dropped and eyes widdened.      “oh my god! no way! you’re like, so, like,” she swiveled her shoulders and hands, “totally in the zone and, like, fit in, ya’ know?”      “hey! two years is a long time! it’s long enough to become a native- er, well, ya’ know, like, oh my god what’s the word? when you- dude!” she threw her hands in the air, “you fit in so well here, like, you can’t even call yourself a non-native.”      oh. a teacher? welp.      her hands folded in her lap. she felt the need to always speak to him with her chin down and puppy eyes. there was something about speaking to him that felt an awful lot like trying to rescue a shelter pup. head low, ears back, tail tucked between legs, otherwise, you might scare him off.      “like, for real? but there’s so much beauty-! yeah! especially the beach, and, like, do you even see outside right now? everything all covered in pollen or whatever- it’s so pretty!” she shook her head to herself. now, she listened to him, but only whilst staring out at the nearby foliage.      she turned her attention back to him. that was the hardest question of all. how long was she planning on wasting time. . .      she bit her lip. her light flicked off. where her skin was rosy and golden now looked green and grey.      “uuh, heh,” she stopped. awkward tension, silence, filled the space between them. she just breathed. she just sat and breathed. her lips parted themselves.      “like, maybe, a little while?”

[yumiyh]

     yunhwa never seemed so beautiful before. yumi moved in winter, when everything was less than full of life. she thought all the trees and bushes looked bare naturally, as if growing by the ocean made them so, but, it was the cold. as it began to warm, the plants showed their true self. that day was the first that yumi noticed.      she rolled along on her bike, hardly pedaling, and looked up. the trees bowed to give her their fresh pollen. it flew off of the trees and she scrunched her nose.      “oh! oh!”      yumi’s eyes shot open. she slammed on the break. she looked at her, and then, slowly, she caught her escaping breath.      yumi, once stopped, could only give the lady a strange, confused look. she swallowed, then cleared her throat and smiled. she had to think incredibly hard to realize that she may have startled the other.      “uh, hey, sorry, lady, but didn’t you see the bike comin’ through?”

[yumiyh]

     yumi bit her lip. she smiled. buying everything in the store did not seem half bad. her mind elbowed her ribs, pointing to yesterday when her mother gave her a random chunk of money again. yumi’s smile grew, and as quickly, it dropped. she swallowed and folded her arms.      “uh, hah, uh, yeah! like, totally, man, i-i-me too.”      yumi spun around to find a table. she called back over her shoulder, “get me a drink too! something sweet- and no coffee! i, like, hate coffee.”      a table for two, sat right by the front window. yumi could see the beach from that chair. she smiled. even if she had already spent the past two months doing nothing but staying on the sand, it never got old. the smell never escaped her.      before anran came back, yumi quickly took out her phone. she sent the money back to her mother, the exact amount and two cents, before hiding her phone. she sighed to herself. she needed a delicious distraction before she got to worried about her mother.

[tokyo-bleep-deactivated20190113]

[letitallburndownnow]

210121 Chaeryeong instagram update!

#채령 #🌼

[leahberman]

shore things

instagram

[formidzy]

IT’z PLAYTIME EP.02 ★ Chaeryeong 

[sereializou]

[theambitiouswoman]

Free yourself by choosing what’s best for you and not what’s best for everybody else.

[barefootsunbeams]

[luxoffux]

[yumiyh]

     continued from 🏖️ // @yoogeonyh​

     with her strawberry lemonade paid for, she finally stepped away from the counter. she did not need to look to know someone was watching her. she could feel their eyes on the back of her neck. when she did step aside, taking her thin wallet with her, she confronted him.      his demeanor was not what she had expected. her eyes widened. she turned around, then back to him.      “oh.”      she fully stepped out of his way and off to the side.      “sorry, guy, i totally thought. . . you know what? you know how the guys around this place are- i just thought you were another gross weirdo or something.” then, with sudden strength, she put her hands on her hips and held her nose in the air.      “but, uh, yeah, like, i think if, well i don’t always think someone is watching me, but if someone is staring at me i have a right to think they’re watching me? i think that’s, like, pretty normal, guy.”