ordinary sacred

kiana. 31. virgo sun, scorpio moon, scorpio rising. black chocolate girl wonder.

[edinburgh-by-the-sea]

softly swaying

[vornicheskucamera]

JULY RAINBOW

[weepingwidar]

Anna Weyant (Canadian, 1995) - Woman in Nightgown (2026)

[eatyourcandyfloss]

Solange

[meanbuddhist]

it is good for you to relax and close your eyes

[colin-vian]

   Lionel Smit peintre , sculpteur Sud Africain contemporain

[lamignonette]

[20thcenturystarlet]

Girl photographed by Hugh Magnum c. 1909

Magnum’s photographs are notable for their informality, which was unusual for the period. I just adore the series of this girl, she’s such a beauty.

[costumeloverz71]

Evening Cloak, 1901. Paris Maison Worth Jean-Philippe.

[ryebreadgf]

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

[oggeminivenus]

[cosmonautroger]

[angelofthemornings-deactivated2]

One thing I really like about Beverly Engel's book It Wasn't Your Fault, which is about PTSD-induced toxic shame, is that quite a bit of it deals with people who haven't broken The Cycle of Abuse (TM) and have gone on to hurt others. That's a really underserved and vulnerable patient population, and statistically, it's also MASSIVE. I don't think I've read a single other self-help type book on PTSD and self-loathing that confronts the possibility that you're exactly as bad as you think you are.

[angelofthemornings-deactivated2]

I felt better that it so much as mentioned that children can react to abuse with ungovernable rage. Everybody likes the image of PTSD patients as internalizing everything and becoming doormats, which does happen, and often, but it's not the only narrative. Personally I've always hated my abusers and have always wanted everyone who so much as breathed wrong in my direction from ages 0 to 18 to burn eternally in hell. I *never* thought any of it was my fault and ever since I was a toddler I was willing to make it everybody else's problem, and it's really relieving to read a clinical perspective that acknowledges that abuse victims can act that way too.

[reasonablywittyatbest]

It's wild to me that its such a neglected subset of abuse victims. Its really common. When I still lived with my parents and was still subjected to my father every fucking day I would lash out terribly at my mother, to the point when i went to visit them for years afterwards she was afraid I would lash out again. We've worked it out, I'm a much better person when I'm not regularly subjected to mental and emotional abuse, but like, its just so common.

I think it must be, at least partially, because, people hate the imperfect victim. Its easy for so many people to sympathize with someone who never lashed out. Less so for people to sympathize with people who are angry and lash out. Even though its a perfectly sensible reaction to being hurt over and over. I'm sure most people would like to think they would simply never.

I don't think this is the whole reason, but, I think it plays into it.

[sunspotpony]

Similarly, there’s a narrative of, you cannot experience grief over having fucked up. That if you are hurting because you caused harm, because you were the cause of harm, that you’re not allowed to grieve, because you “earned your sorrow. You deserve to bottle it up and to hurt for the bad things you have done,”

Which is punitive logic. It’s copthink. Which is bad.

[angelofthemornings-deactivated2]

important

In fact, you can actually give yourself trauma over fucking up too badly and doing, witnessing, or failing to prevent something evil that goes against your morals; for instance, if you steal your mother's life savings due to drug addiction, kill a civilian during a military operation (please do not join the military), or became abusive because you didn't have the tools and skills yet to handle BPD. In the field of psychology this is called "moral injury" or "perpetrator trauma."

[thelawfulchaotic]

All victims are imperfect.

Every single one of them. There’s always something they did Wrong. There’s always a reason to doubt. There’s always something else they could have, should have done. When my clients admit things and their bodies and voices are full of shame, I tell them this. And then I explain their behavior back to them with emotion words instead of fault words.

Instead of doubting yourself, punishing yourself, relieve yourself of the burden of perfection. Ironically, this also makes it much easier to take responsibility for your role in things that go bad later on; if you aren’t perfect, failure is not a threat to your identity but just a process of growing and learning.

PTSD puts your body permanently in survival mode. One of those modes is FIGHT. It leads to violence all the time. Unbelievable numbers of my clients who have violent charges have some level of PTSD. They have to grapple with this part of themselves. I’m actually pretty used to talking people through it, I realize as I write this.

Doing harm does not make you an irredeemable villain, but it does place a burden on you to find out why and get yourself on a road to healing so you can stop it from happening more. The great news is you can start lifting that burden instead of the shame and anger any time — it is never too late.

[treecitysessions]

Found a journal I forgot existed from one of the worst years of my life

[unexplained-events]

The Enigma of Amigara Fault

This short story by Junji Ito is about a fault that appears in Amigara mountain after an earthquake. The earthquake exposes countless human-shaped holes in the mountain which seem to have been made about a thousand years ago. People, intrigued by these  silhouettes, gather at the site and that’s when things get creepy.

It’s about a 15-20 min read, but if you haven’t read this before, you’re in for a treat. Link above.

[gnars-house]

i mean it’s not like i can just NOT reblog amigara fault. what if one of my followers is one of the lucky ten thousand who HASN’T been unutturably altered for life by it yet? go read it! it’s creepy, but trust me, it was made for you.

[maureen2musings]

July magic, Switzerland

framedtakes

[h4nifah]

it annoys me that straight men get gassed up for being ‘eaters’ but this category doesn’t exist for women bc it’s literally assumed that all women can and will give men head, it’s seen as an expectation and not something extra that we get praised for