I don't know how I got here.
Belial Granblue Fantasy Enthusiast
Pronouns: Any
Age: 25+
Current Interests:
GBF, Baten Kaitos, Fields of Mistria, Gacha Games, JRPGs, BLVNs, and others.
Currently Playing:
Slow Damage
Baten Kaitos 1 & 2
Fields of Mistria
I tend to post art periodically-
Link to Ko-fi
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I can add trigger warning tags if asked.
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**Blog under construction**
brown eyes so dark they look black are the best actually and I don't give a fuck about sunlight hitting them to make them lighter either I want to be consumed by the inky abyss
I've been wanting to finalize most of them for months now - some of them for literal years, as they- Evie, first photo here, and Cerwyn - haven't had concrete designs yet. - I finally started a while ago when I got SAI working again. It was like returning home after years of hard work! It felt amazing. CSP will continue as my main program, and I'm so excited to have SAI's brush engine for rendering back as an option.
The second key was actually, of all things, Tomodachi Life: Living The Dream! My OCs sadly fell into an emotional limbo. I didn't want to post about them or give them time and I didn't enjoy talking about them or sharing them or anything- it also felt like taking away attention from my "true favorites of all time." (;bleedinglilac.)
But then, I got to play TMDL:LTD, and I made them, and they were adorable, and it healed my heart to have them back,
and I'm so happy about it. That little game reminded me that they're mine & reminded me how much I love them, I needed that. They're still not ;bleedinglilac, who I post woefully little about- but I intend to fix that, slowly.
Not included are
Maelgwyn, as his design is already finalized; his design was already extremely off-model, disconnecting him from fandom is easy.
Cerwyn, who hasn't been painted yet.
Lynette, and Kynwyl who haven't been finalized yet.
I love being nonbinary! I love being generally nonbinary and I love being my specific brand of nonbinary! I love that I have learned I don't have to confine myself to a single answer! I love that I have learned I don't even have to have an answer! I love being ME and having the freedom to choose whatever I want to be!
I love being nonbinary! I love being generally nonbinary and I love being my specific brand of nonbinary! I love that I have learned I don't have to confine myself to a single answer! I love that I have learned I don't even have to have an answer! I love being ME and having the freedom to choose whatever I want to be!
I love being nonbinary! I love being generally nonbinary and I love being my specific brand of nonbinary! I love that I have learned I don't have to confine myself to a single answer! I love that I have learned I don't even have to have an answer! I love being ME and having the freedom to choose whatever I want to be!
so. i do this thing where i wake up still half-asleep, write a note in my phone, and then fall back asleep and forget about it completely until i find the note later.
and i need to show you all some of these because ?????
The unknown oracle. "My strength and weakness are one."
- snowdrops - oct 16th - libra - the star major arcana - lis; Mhin, Leander - friends; Kuras, Leander, Mhin - prey animal's desperate fear & rage -
"why not dream, dreams have carried my feet this far, haven't they?
Lillian Belcourte is a fallen oracle, who fled his village and chapel for the city of knowledge Eridia. He makes quick friends with Kuras, his agreeable, helpful and respectful nature were endearing to Kuras. Mhin continues to keep their distance, despite the growing soft spot for the shared quiet they get with Lilian whilst feeding the cats or running into each other at night. He doesn't like the loud of the Wet Wick- at all- but Leander is there and Lillian does like him, moving in and decorating his room there quite quickly. Lillian takes up an assistant job at the clinic, though stressful, and Kuras becomes no nonsense chop-chop on the clock, it's rewarding, even fun.
He likes to be playful with Leander, to sit in comforting quiet with Mhin, to chat with Kuras over brunch. (He even saves up his pay to buy expensive pastries or cat food some weeks, shh don't tell them.) He finds comfort and warmth in all three of them, though Leander at times makes him nervous. He brushes it off as just his isolated past talking.
For his fashion sense I was at a loss until Pinterest showed me some gothic academia outfits i just had to give him. He enjoys learning new hairstyles, sewing, and feeding the stray cats in Eridia with Mhin.
STRAP IN CAUSE I GOT DESIGN COMMENTARY long post below
Lillian's design has some subtle angelic traits, thanks to his animal the Archangel Pigeon. I chose a breed of Pigeon as they're descendants of Doves, to bring out a faint connection to "true divinity (kindness.)" Doves are revered but their children who we made over years to fill a purpose are regarded as pests, something so abundant and mundane it's annoying. I chose the Archangel Pigeon both for it's name, strengthening the angel connection, and for it's colors. I found the black and bronze coloration evocative of old brass statues. something old that's been here for a long time, something that will be here long after we're gone. This, I like to connect to his kindness, his habit of wearing his heart on his sleeve, think of an angel amongst humans trying to appeal to what they think humanity is in the wrong place, where their words fall on deaf ears every time. Every plea goes unheard. I don't personally believe in humanity's "inherent selfishness/unkindness" so I'm not going that direction, more so, i want to focus in on the angel in that instance.
It will forever choose to continue to offer such open warmth, for someone will want it, someone will need it, and it wants to give it, why give up before it finds the soul who needs it most? This, sort of immortality of a life philosophy, works well with the bronze coloration, the angelic aspects, and the aforementioned bronze statue meaning.
His flowers are the Snowdrop Flowers. Delicate, small white flowers which push up through snow as winter ends and begin to bloom. I agreed with the associations of hope, resilience, and innocence for the snowdrops. Hope is a recurring theme for Lillian, resilience is an obvious trait; The fallen oracle specifically, but all of the MC backgrounds in Touchstarved are more than just resilient. For Lillian, I thought it worked well, how he always chooses hope despite all the pain he's been through for wearing his heart on his sleeve, giving kindness so openly. Innocence was another obvious choice for Lillian, he's lived an isolated life. He's been run out of a less than stable situation into a new one, against his will. His first true choice for himself was leaving for Eridia- and he almost died for it. But he did it! There's the resilience. The city is fascinatingly new for him, as I imagine his temple where he resided as an oracle was remarkably poor and cutoff from any cities. Perhaps a village in or near a forest with only a few stone buildings withstanding, like Lilian's chapel. I also imagine he grew up there. His innocence is tied to his process of learning how to be a person, despite all of his reservations including but not exclusively caused by, trauma.
I chose The Star as his tarot card. It's a favorite of mine in the major arcana. Though for Lillian I adore the symbolism you can draw out of the card yourself depending on the deck's unique art. I was thinking of something like "Following the north star." The star - intuition, divinity, faith/belief, renewal. It fit perfectly with other design choices i'd already made. hope, faith, purpose, renewal are of course, recurring for Lilian. I also enjoyed contentment, healing from another site for the cards meanings. Symbolism is always fun to play with, because you can find your own meaning in the symbols you've chosen. And it's fun to make a case for your choices (sometimes.)
I don't have anything too in depth for the north star choice, it's vibes to be honest. Though I do love what you can get out of "brightest star in the sky used for navigation by word of mouth." I may tie it back into the earlier description i gave of the angel. Something eternal which helps simply by existing or choosing to be it's self. Even if it does die out eventually, it is immortal to us.
If you read all that, thanks for caring and giving me your time stranger! 🫶
Person on screen: needs a couple pats of butter, a splash of olive oil, simmered on low with a bay leaf and a cinnamon stick. What?! You never seen a boy who knows his way around the kitchen?
Yeah my mom always wanted a little girl but she got stuck with me instead. That wasn’t gonna stop her though so all my friends were opening up nerf guns and bmx bikes on their birthday, I was getting crockpots.
(scene changes to the person dressed in a nice black suit jacket, bright pink dress shirt, and black tie) Yeah laugh it up! Take a picture while you’re at it 'cause this is the last time you’ll ever see me in a suit! How do boys wear these things??
(scene changes to the person dressed in the same shirt and tie with no jacket and the shirt cuffs unbuttoned and rolled up, with purple nail polish on their nails) No, I don’t know how to fight. I was only ever taught how to deescalate situations with healthy communication and emotional validation.
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