yves

author | smile and be a villain | queer

[jellogram]

Whoever made you think you'd get teased for not drinking alcohol at parties was lying. You're their new supreme. You can go pick up more snacks. You can take care of the fallen. You can talk to the cops. If you have a car, you can drive people home.

In movies they always portray the sober person as a nerd but it's more like being a priest. Your lack of engagement in the carnal realities of the party make you holy and powerful. You are a vital pillar of the community. A rock in a raging storm. Now go answer the door for the pizza man.

[ranuel]

Also, you get to remember all the dumb crap your friends do and tell them about it the next day.

[pinkcadillaccas]

"it was bad on purpose" is always my favourite fandom conspiracy

[thatdisasterauthor]

Followed closely by "there's totally a secret episode that will fix everything."

[fata-vocant]

medieval backstreet boys: you are… my friar

[thestenchofcheeseandregrets]

the one... dear squire

[cparti-mkiki]

"goddess" "matriarchy" "female wisdom" girl your civic rights

[tauindi]

“But I didn’t and still don’t like making a cult of women’s knowledge, preening ourselves on knowing things men don’t know, women’s deep irrational wisdom, women’s instinctive knowledge of Nature, and so on. All that all too often merely reinforces the masculinist idea of women as primitive and inferior – women’s knowledge as elementary, primitive, always down below at the dark roots, while men get to cultivate and own the flowers and crops that come up into the light. But why should women keep talking baby talk while men get to grow up? Why should women feel blindly while men get to think?”

— Ursula K. Le Guin

[yeetus-6942069]

[egotisticalreadergay]

uther pendragon sucks ass obviously but he’s such a hysterical fucking character. he hates magic so obviously his daughter is a seer and his son’s weird little guy he’s obsessed with is the literal walking manifastation of magic itself. he gets tricked into marrying and fucking a literal troll. his son and aforementioned weird little guy keep trying to sacrifice themselves for each other and being so fucking gay right in front of him no matter how much he tries to stop them and at some point he’s just like yeah fine what fucking ever just dont fucking die i guess. his daughter hates his guts and keeps telling him to die and she’s somehow still his favorite. he fucked a troll. his son gets enchanted into falling in love with a new girl every other week and it never works because he’s so damn gay. his daughter is definitely in love with the daughter of a guy he killed but whatever. a weird little thing posesses his doctor and he makes him bald. he dies and comes back as a ghost to haunt his son and he only finally sends him back after he tries to attack the same fucking weird little guy who really is the bane of his existence. he fucked a troll.

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

i never feel particularly fond of arthur as a character but like holy shit he kind of just has the worst life ever. made king at sixteen and basically disowned by your adopted father when it happens, now there’s weird tension with your brother because he tried to be king first and like obviously, that’s just how he is, but he’s probably always going to be resentful deep down that his little brother is king and he’s not. you didn’t even want to be king but you have to unite this giant geographical land mass and every kingdom in it obviously rebels against you and everyone wants to kill you. in the meantime you have to do all of this bureaucratic work and these tests to prove you really did pull the sword out of the stone because no one believes this kind of shy sixteen year old commoner is the son of the late king and you have no idea what’s going on with your parentage. some people are calling you a bastard. what would you even know about this. what would you even know about what happened to your mother. you keep having to fight these battles with people who want specifically you dead. why does everything always have to be solved in blood? you marry this pretty girl and your advisor tells you she’ll cheat on you. you don’t know if you can trust anything he says. you hope you can’t. he tells you also your son will murder you. what are you even supposed to do. kings are supposed to have an heir. but also you had a son with some random woman that you don’t even remember and now that kid is going to kill you. you try to kill him. what else can you do. it’s heinous. you order the killing of infants. why does everything have to be solved in blood. who knows if you even solved that problem. your knights are feuding constantly. the ones you are related to are kind of feuding the most. you remember your wife is supposed to cheat on you with one of these knights. your advisor disappears because of some woman he’s in love with. guess you can’t trust the people you love. guess you have to keep dealing in blood. you didn’t even want to be king but you thought you could at least make things better. you were supposed to make things better. why do the knights keep bringing back corpses. is your son still alive? who are tristan and iseult? you thought iseult was married to a king. your wife is supposed to cheat on you. maybe the grail quest will make it better. maybe your best knight lancelot will do the grail quest and make it better. maybe your sister’s sons can help you.

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

i think pretty much every character in hamlet is equally fascinating but i do kind of feel worst for horatio. imagine you go to your friend’s house to visit over like a college break and while you’re there your friend and his whole family gets murdered in front of you. horatio doesn’t even live there

[novacm-deactivated20260406]

(person who learned from childhood to make themself as small and unimportant as possible to avoid being a burden) yeah its okay we dont have to do my thing if you dont want i dont mind

[miskhos]

tonight i swore a blood oath to the minimum wage workers at my local subway

[mihai-florescu]

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

[mihai-florescu]

The lion will never financially recover from this

[bumblebeebats]

I have come to admit that my own toxic trait is that i DO hold a quiet disdain for people who think that putting flatpack furniture together is hard. Why is IKEA furniture in particular regarded as some Ultimate Test for Couples - "If you build it without killing each other, he's the one, haha!" ???? Like, listen, I get it, i've got a fuck'd wrist nowadays so I DO find that hammering peg A into slot B is considerably more difficult than it used to be, but the task ITSELF? It's like building lego, y'all. Except that at the end of it, you end up with not just some sort of miniature spaceship (admittedly very cool, if not particularly useful) but a functional and stylish side table. It's the perfect enrichment. I smashed together three Billy bookcases last summer with nothing but a screwdriver, a pencil, and the love in my heart, and I had the time of my life. Do you, too, not feel a thrill in your heart at the satisfying feeling of a cam lock twisting into place? Do not the tiny little crinkly bags of screws remind you of candy wrappers to be torn open and piled gleefully upon the floor, like a child at Halloween emptying your haul onto the living room carpet? Am I the freak, or are you? I am willing to accept the former but i die on this hill regardless

[amberautumnfaebrooke]

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

[cursedwoman1859]

internet safety we were taught as kids: don't share ANY personal information with ANYONE EVER the british government: you don't want to give these random third parties your photo or driving licence showing your name, birthday, address and signature? are you perhaps a nonce?

[deactivating-s00n-deactivated20]

tumblr users’ obsession with self-reporting (especially as a weird form of penance) needs to be studied

[deactivating-s00n-deactivated20]

you don’t need to tell the world you still like Harry Potter because it’s your comfort movie or because your dad read it to you when you were little or something like that in response to a post about the harm continued monetary support of Harry Potter causes. you don’t need to tell tumblr all the myriad of reasons you don’t like rap under a post about how rap is often misrepresented as ultra-violent or overtly sexual and misogynistic because of racism. No one on tumblr has to know anything about you. no one has to know you still read your old Harry Potter books or that the only rap artist you like is Eminem. No one is going to say “oh of course you’re the One True Good Person with a Good Reason!” when you say that rap is difficult to listen to because of your auditory processing disorder or you’re only a part of the Marauders fandom. Just keep your shit to yourself and don’t embarrass yourself under other peoples’ posts.

[redstonedust]

has anybody noticed the difficulties

[yvesyves]

made this for other horrible brainrot sites but then i thought: you know who would appreciate my ao3 tag post? the people who probably wrote the fics i took these tags from, who are all definitely on THIS horrible brainrot site :)))

i hate doing self promo on tumblr this is where i come to be silly and eat hot chip and lie BUT sometimes it is necessaire <333 because how else will this duology find its weirdos!!!

[nongunktional]

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue