Penis Delirious

Hello I am Dove. She/her he/him it/its. Big fan of the brain/Psychology, animals and sexology

[ndnbutch]

the author’s thinly veiled nothing #notwriting #straightupnotwritingit

[z0mbie-d0ve]

Gravel rolling down a slide made of sheet metal (loud)

[z0mbie-d0ve]

Weerla Mato. That’s gonna be my new name.

[astriiformes]

The polar opposite of corporate accounts trying to come across as hip and super friendly are the ones for libraries, aquariums, parks systems and the like, that are basically just trying to get people excited about learning and the wonder of history/science by posting things like this:

[mangopatch]

[demonladytakkuri]

You know how much I would lose my mind if I was at an aquarium and turned a corner to see a wild ass heron staring at a fish tank

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[dorfs]

getting overtaken as a pedestrian: people are seriously so caught up with themselves they can’t get somewhere 30 seconds later

overtaking people: come on girls it’s not a statue garden

[gethighdropacidneverdie]

[theblackparadeisdead]

The funniest thing the saw franchise ever did was giving jigsaw a bunch of dead wife flashbacks in saw 3 only to have the next movie reveal his wife wasn't even dead she just divorced his ass because he kept building torture traps

[talosacinonyx]

[valtsv]

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

[valtsv]

if you could see the thread i'm hanging on by you would not say these things to me

[sharkgirldick]

"Squarting and squelching pusty juice" is still one of the funniest fucking phrases I've ever read.

From this btw.

It just fucking kills me.

[fluffysheeple]

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from

[soapydoll]

Did I ever talk abt the time i was at a bdsm club and one of the pups was on all fours and barking and being cute and the dom on scene was like “hi puppy! Do you do any tricks?” And he said “I can beatbox!”

[soapydoll]

I was like. Doubled over incapacitated laughing the entire time. He was really good and a big sweetheart and I felt kinda bad but I couldn’t stop thinking “why the am I getting the beatboxing puppy unskippable cutscene at the bdsm club”

[owner4mutt]

I'm going to (remembers kms jokes are bad for my mental health) JERK OFF!!!

[d1cks1e-st1x]

my dealer who is also an old man who teachers you how to catch pokémon: this strain is called cinnabar island east coast it’ll have you zonked outta your gourd

me: yea whatever i don’t feel shit

five minutes later

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's actually so crazy how much the simpsons would fucking suck if it didn't have any of the simpsons characters. just a bunch of shots of empty houses and streets for half an hour while nothing happens. that would be so badddd lol

[auroroboros1]

yeah that tends to happen when you remove characters from media. without characters its all just background. i guess movies set in scenic locations would still land as kinda nature docs but even then

[dragongirlsweetie]

it only happens with the simpsons

[auroroboros1]

this same criticism could be applied to nearly any media ever.

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's just the simpsons. are you a troll?

[z0mbie-d0ve]

Dog