Top 50 Clothing Items Banned by United Airlines
50. Leggings
49. Armings
48. Giftwrap
47. American Airlines Uniforms
46. Ghillie Suits Fashioned from Airport Terminal Ephemera
45. Oily Ropes
44. Cloaks of the Elders of Gaal-Parânt
43. Dwayne Wayne Shades
42. See-Thru Tuxedo
41. Earth Tones
40. Game-worn Bobby Bonilla Mets Jerseys
39. Strategically Placed Dollar Bills
38. Pope Shit
37. All Laynards
36. Turn Of The Century Beach Attire
35. Wardrobe by Botany 500
34. Homemade White Tape Bodysuits Inspired by Milla Jovovich’s Fifth Element Costume
33. The Robes of Jesus Christ
32. Anything with a Kinda Weird Pattern
31. Most Sports Apparel
30. Barrels with Suspenders
29. Hypercolor
28. Samsung Galaxy 7 Slacks
27. Pre-1991 Bikinis
26. Lasersuits
25. Any Clothing Item Weighing Over 5 Tons
24. Neurotoxin by Calvin Klein
23. Blasphemer’s Shame Caps
22. Bolo Ties
21. Immaculate Replicas of Milla Jovovich’s Fifth Element Costume
20. Most Milks
19. Other Humans Posing as Clothing
18. Blacksmith Bibs
17. Whitesmith Bibs
16. Garments That Are Difficult for Colorblind People To See
15. Jammies
14. Rings of Bureaucratic Wizardry
13. Bubblewrap
12. Mixology Attire
11. Service Animal Vests
10. Orc Diplomacy Armor
9. Milla Jovovich’s Actual Fifth Element Costume
8. Any Garment Fashioned out of Human Remains
7. Loose Fitting Tight Clothes
6. Certain Flannels
5. Any Item Purchased in a Store
4. Fabrics That Have Been Touched By Bleach or Detergent
3. Anything Red
2. Virtual Clothes
1. Flip-flops















