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[bluestjayy]

Life update:

I didn't make my deadline.

After approximately 200 applications, only 6 (first stage) interviews, 3 (second stage interviews), and more rejections than I could cope with some days, I unfortunately haven't been able to find a job since being laid off in September. This means I can no longer stay in my apartment. Which. Sucks.

I'm lucky enough to have my parents to fall back on, so I'll be moving back to their bungalow until I can find something to support me and save up enough money to come back to the city, so that's something. But it's also not going to be great for me while I'm there.

My hometown is an incredibly small mining town in the rural north-east, it's ridiculously close minded and conservative. I'm not out to any of my family for this reason, so I am for sure signing up for a minimum of a year being misgendered and stomaching casual bigotry from everyone I'm surrounded by.

And I love my parents, but our relationship isn't the best. They have a lot of really unhealthy, toxic, and occasionally abusive behaviours, and the way they treat each other and me is really... well it's not always good. Which is part of the reason I not only moved out but to a city that's 3 hours away in the first place. Their home is not intended for anyone but the two of them, it is incredibly small, and I will be living in a second room that only fits a camp bed and a small desk with very little privacy as this room is also where some of the utilities are. It's something, and I am so lucky to have this option at all vs complete homelessness. But I also know the toll this is all going to take on me physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I have already had to start looking at my current possessions, over 4 years of the life I built here, and decide which parts I get to keep and which I now have to leave behind.

Being back there is going to be... I don't know. I get into dark places whenever I go home for the holidays for a few days so living there again... I really don't know.

I guess the only thing keeping me going is the idea I will be able to come back to the city I'm in right now, the one I call home, eventually. It's just going to take some time.

And I have a plan, I am already job hunting for remote roles I can do back there, I'm open to taking on two or three if necessary, and I've started working on opening an Etsy store for some of my crafting creations that may also help me fundraise the money to leave a lot faster. Perhaps I'll even consider commissions again.

But it's definitely going to be a long long year getting myself back on my feet again.

One of the only upsides currently is how much time I have to be working on fic and art (whenever the muse allows me!) so that's something I guess haha.

Anyway, thoughts and love and support and virtual hugs go a long way for me rn, and if you're so inclined (absolutely 100% not necessary but every little helps) here is the link to my tip-jar:

Ko-Fi

Even just giving this post a share would really help me right now. Those who know me know I find it really difficult to ask for help even when I'm in desperate need of it but I think, after six weeks of this reality slowly creeping up on me, I have reached a point where I am ready to say I really need it.

The fandom communities I have found myself in the last year have been an absolute rock for me. And I am so glad I get to be a part of them with you all.

In the end, it will be okay. That's what I have to keep telling myself. Positively rebellious and rebelliously positive.

Thank you for reading, I hope you have a wonderful day and I appreciate you all so much 💛

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

A discovery in the muscles of long COVID patients may explain exercise troubles

Long COVID patients can experience severe energy crashes after physical exertion. New research provides clear evidence that there's a biolog

Full Transcript at the link; 3-minute listen.

Quote:

By taking biopsies from long COVID patients before and after exercising, scientists in the Netherlands constructed a startling picture of widespread abnormalities in muscle tissue that may explain this severe reaction to physical activity.

Among the most striking findings were clear signs that the cellular power plants, the mitochondria, are compromised and the tissue starved for energy.

"We saw this immediately and it's very profound," says Braeden Charlton, one of the study's authors at Vrije University in Amsterdam.

The tissue samples from long COVID patients also revealed severe muscle damage, a disturbed immune response, and a buildup of microclots.

"This is a very real disease," says Charlton. "We see this at basically every parameter that we measure."

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

I feel insane seeing stuff like this because this research already exists for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, a post viral condition caused by multiple types of viral infections that a LOT of people with "Long Covid" meet the diagnostic criteria for.

This article mentions that ME/CFS is a "similar complex condition" but that's DEEPLY underreporting the similarities. The phrase "post exertional malaise" (now researchers are trying to replace it but this article uses that phrase) was INVENTED for ME/CFS. It's the only known condition, before "long covid", that causes these kinds of symptoms after exertion!

It's good to know for sure that it's the same mechanisms at play when the inciting viral infection is Covid and not, for instance, Epstein-Barr or RSV, but half the time it doesn't seem like researchers are making comparisons at all, just reinventing the wheel and acting like "long covid" is a totally new phenomenon with no previous point of comparison. There are literally drugs in human trials to try to treat the mitochondrial dysfunction in ME, this dysfunction is well-established and fairly well understood and I feel insane when ppl report on long covid without mentioning that there is already a named and studied condition that accounts for this subset of symptoms!!

SOME researchers are drawing comparisons but they're largely ME researchers who everyone else is largely cignoring because of the widespread perception that ME is a fake disease for lazy women.

That same perception btw is why "graded exercise therapy" (GET), or exercise gradually increasing in intensity, cwas for years the go-to treatment despite MOUNTAINS of evidence that it makes ME patients sicker. Some end up permanently bedbound and unable to even eat or drink without a feeding tube/IV because the damage is so bad! The GET recommendation was finally changed only in the past few years in the US and the UK, and many doctors hate that they're not allowed to recommend it anymore, because they insist despite the evidence that ME/CFS is psychological and ME patients are just "deconditioned" and too lazy to do anything about it.

Now the same kind of "treatment" is being recommended for long covid patients despite evidence showing exercise is having the same kinds of cellular effects as it does in ME patients. "Taking PEM into account" sounds gentler but I'm deeply concerned about the reinvention of GET for patients who meet all the criteria for an illness that's been shown definitively to become permanently worse with GET. This mitochondrial damage is progressive in ME, and there's no reason to believe patients who meet all the criteria of ME after Covid won't experience the same progression if they force themselves past their energy envelope in such a systematic way.

The additional finding that T cells — part of the immune system's arsenal — had infiltrated the muscles of long COVID patients also caught Iwasaki's attention, possibly indicating "an autoimmune response within the muscle cells."

This autoimmune response is well-researched for ME. Every time you overexert, you're injuring your cells more and more. It's deeply worrying that rebranded GET is being recommended for long covid patients who meet the criteria for ME when research like this study keeps showing it's the same phenomenon.

[sentient-forest-boy]

If you don't go to/ use your local library, why not?

transportation issue

can't afford a card [what demons make you guys pay for a card?]

never any good books there

I do, but only once a year [state in tags why]

books suck and you suck, I don't read

social anxiety

rude employees/ I feel unsafe there

no community/ events hosted that I'd like

other [state in tags]

Voting ended onMar 2, 2023

As a young librarian, I started trying to figure out why more young people aren't ever coming in; 90% of our demographic are the elderly and parents of children, and the rest are a rough mix of the kids and teenagers who come in just for school projects. As a result, I've been attempting different ways to get the Youth TM to come into libraries, but first I wanted to see why they don't come in. Please reblog to get this poll out to more people! <3

[zanzibuku]

Gorgeous, as always.

It is bound to be pulled soon but if you’re not in the UK, all episodes (without credits) are at “The Witchfinder 2022.”  He’s in Episode 5.

[shezze-blog1]

I’m upset because I want to change the world but the world is too big and people are too mean

[wufflesvetinari]

“Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.” - Rabbi Tarfon

[missoneminute]

Totally off blog topic but one thing I love about the current generation (yes I realise that makes me sound 100) is what a wide array of body types are deemed attractive. I don’t think being attractive should be a top human value, but the PEACE of finding out that you’re attractive as you are is something I just didn’t grow up with. There was such a narrow definition of what constituted beauty and attractive body types, and I remember the horrible yearning for something completely physically impossible for me to achieve, and how valueless that could make a kid feel. To think there are people growing up without feeling that is just the most incredible progress.

[straightboyfriend]

there is no medical component to a trans kid transitioning

if a little trans boy comes out to his parents & is like 4 all youd do for his transition is cut his hair, buy a new wardrobe, & switch pronouns & possibly change names

no one is gonna put a little 4 year old on testosterone OR puberty blockers until theyre actually about to start puberty & then they give them a few years to really decide if they want to start hormones

a trans kid existing isnt “child abuse.” child abuse is refusing to let your kid live their lives as they truly are & forcing them to present as a gender they arent

[straightboyfriend]

radfems who interact with this post will be blocked & your argument will not be read or even considered. i do not care about the opinion of a transphobe & my original post still stands.

[gwenfrankenstien]

a few years ago a kid in my preschool class transitioned socially and the only consequence was that as soon as her best friend discovered that changing your name is allowed she wanted to change hers to Detective

[thatgirlwhokeepsreading]

So stay with me here, but fun ballet fact: part of the reason you’re supposed to start ballet young is so you stretch and hold your joint in certain ways regularly enough that your body grows different. You know how men who do ballet look only sort of muscular but then like lift a whole ass person? Their muscles are trained to lie flat like that for flexibility, they don’t bulk up. Girl in your class who always stands in turnout? It’s likely not just habit, her joints probably sit like that now.

I started ballet when I was six and stopped after three years. I then took a break for three years, and came back and did jazz ballet (which has most of the same body mods but without turnout) and tap for another couple of years. And every physio who works on my body looks at my feet, hips and calves and goes “oh you danced”. I was never even flexible enough to do the splits, but you best believe I stand in turnout. I never went en pointe, but I’m 95% sure tap is the reason my feet have random spasms if I don’t take to them with a tennis ball once a week.

When I said I wanted to be a dancer at six years old, adults took that to mean I’d want certain permanent alterations to my body. Unlike with young trans kids, no one was looking to make sure I fully understood what I was getting into. And unlike with young trans kids, these changes were not reversible when I changed my mind. There wasn’t even a way to delay things to buy time (like puberty blockers), it was all or nothing. If I wanted to be a professional dancer, my normal ass joints were a ticking timebomb.

So like ~cis opinion~, but I really don’t have a lot of time for people getting feral about trans kids socially transitioning or going on blockers or even (when they’re old enough for it be relevant) hrt. Me “identifying” as a dancer at six years old was more physically impactful and less informed than if a six year old changed their name and grew their hair, but you don’t see any of the adults in my life getting accused of child abuse.

[tundrafloe]

For Valentine's Eve, I wanted to post one of the sweetest photos of Julian & Noel, with one of their sweetest quotes.

Noel: "Julian, although in the show he's a bit of a geek, he's always far cooler than me. He is naturally a pretty cool character, you know. But also his dad's a teacher and Julian's pretty wise. So he's pretty amazing. If anything happens, or if you're upset, you know, he's really brilliant in that way."

(Velvet Onion, 2013)

Boosh huddle! 💕

[zanzibuku]

To this day “Kazoo, Air Freshner Necklace, Joan Jett,” means ready for lovin’.  

[guerrillatech]

https://www.wyden.senate.gov/news/press-releases/wyden-and-heinrich-newly-declassified-documents-reveal-previously-secret-cia-bulk-collection-problems-with-cia-handling-of-americans-information

[tundrafloe]

In an interview with Impose magazine in 2009, Julian and Noel talked about kissing in S3.

Julian: "I kind of wish that at the end of every episode we made out."

Noel: "And then just said, 'Ok, see you later" [laughs].

Julian: "Enjoy the credits."

Excellent idea, boys!

[ginazmemeoir]

now since tumblr apparently loves to support non-american authors, but is surprisingly mum about this, imma tell you.

you see, everybody's favorite evil corp, Amazon, bought Indian publishing house Westland some six years ago. Now Westland is a very famous and reputed publishing house in India, and has put forth some of the best titles the country has seen. It didn't shy away from controversial and uncomfortable topics, and some of its books quite vocally criticise the current government, which has been responsible for the current state of india as a pseudo-democratic, pseudo-secular, economically ruined country, the most notable one being The Price of the Modi years by Aakar Patel. It also produced Amish Tripathi's pathbreaking Shiva Trilogy.

Now here's the thing that got me nuts.

AMAZON. SHUT. IT. DOWN. A WEEK AGO.

JUST OUT OF THE BLUE, IT IS CLOSING DOWN WESTLAND FOREVER. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT IS TO COME OF THE HUNDREDS OF TITLES PUBLISHED BY IT, OR OF THE AUTHORS ITS CONTRACTED, OR THE PEOPLE EMPLOYED BY IT.

It has triggered a buying surge in India, as people go on shopping spress to get their hands on the titles they want from this house. Short on supply and high on demand, bookstores across India are showing solidarity and moving surplus books around.

here you go with a few links that i think sum up the problem quite nicely, and please guys. just. please support westland.

here they talk about how this is becoming a trend with global corps.

here they talk about the future of indian publishing houses.

this one talks about a bleak future for literature and how it feels like we're living in a dystopian novel

spread this around. jeff bezos continues to be evil, and will be. he is quite literally, irredeemable.

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

I’m moving right now and I can’t bring my stuff.

(Also it’s my birthday in 2 weeks.)

In order to avoid spreading a treatment-resistant bedbug infestation, I am not allowed to bring much of anything to my (shared) new home. I’m bringing my mobility aids, most of my medications, and a few other basic items, but that’s it.

I get to the new place tomorrow. (Feb 4th 2022)

I am physically disabled by severe illness that leaves me stuck in bed almost all the time. 

My income is thousands below the federal poverty line.

I need medications and medical supplies insurance doesn’t cover and other items that abled people don’t need. I routinely go without necessary items because I cannot afford them.

I’m already in debt to friends just for the actual moving process, on an income already not large enough to meet my needs. And I still need to replace clothes, toiletries, and other necessary items.

I’m asking for help.

I know times are hard for everyone, and I’m only asking for don ations if you’re a financially secure adult who genuinely wants to help. However, if you do meet that description, I’d be so grateful for even a small amount. Like literally a dollar would help so much right now. I’d also really appreciate anyone willing to share this post.

Right now the only way I can accept don ations is through wishIists. The 1st one also has gifftcards that I could use at cheaper stores.

Food/basic necessities wishIist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/19QO1LMKKHQ3A?ref_=wl_share

Housewarming wishIist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3G0Y3CKZ4433A?ref_=wl_share

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

Thank you so much to everyone who reblogged and/or donated!! I made it to the new place and have had no bug bites here! (touch wood lol) So happy to have made it!!

I’m having to rest a LOT to recover from the move, so I can’t be online as much as usual. But I’m so thankful for your help!! Thank you!!

I’d still appreciate people reblogging, as I’m still in need of more supplies than I can actually afford. Like a trash can, heating pad for my pain, toiletries, things like that.

I’m really sorry to beg - I know I’ve been begging for help for other poor people I know a lot lately - but I am so extremely poor and very much disabled by severe physical illness and I don’t have other options.

[desdeotromar-deactivated2021110]

Updated list of books by black trans women:

Sharon Davis, A Finer Specimen Of Womanhood (1986) [Out of print]

The Lady Chablis, Hiding My Candy (1997) [Author interview]

Toni Newman, I, Rise (2011) [Author interview]

Ceyenne Doroshow, Cooking in Heels (2012) [Author interview]

Dane Figueroa Edidi, Yemaya’s Daughters (2013) [Author interview]

A. E. “Toni” D’orsay, Introduction to Transness (2013) [Partial text: 1 and 2]

Janet Mock, Redefining Realness (2014)

Tenika Watson and Jennifer Daelyn, My Life is No Accident: A memoir by Tenika Watson (2014) [Author interview]

Dominique Jackson, The Transsexual from Tobago (2014) [Author interview]

Garland Guidry, Memoirs of a GayShe (2014)

Dane Figueroa Edidi, Brew: A Novel (2015) [Available for pre-order as of Feb. 2015]

[desdeotromar-deactivated2021110]

Buy these books. Comment on them. Create more demand to support black trans artists and writers.

[ghostdancebeat]

One half of the Mighty Boosh, writer, actor, deity, occasional napper, the one and only Julian Barratt. [x]

[tundrafloe]

Hello Beautiful! Love that he’s got a trademark striped shirt under the layers. 

[tyrannuspitch]

still so fucking weird to go from real life, where a cis man being flamboyant/effeminate/camp is judged like 70+% by how he speaks and carries himself, to online queer communities, which often seem to have no concept of male gender non-conformity that doesn’t involve wearing a skirt

[tyrannuspitch]

i promise you, a man can be fem to the point of being in danger while wearing literally exactly the same thing as a hypermasculine guy. a boring basic black suit. a t shirt and jeans. a UNIFORM. gender conformity is not only about what you wear

[booshieland]

Happy JULIANuary 28/31 - Julian the musician

[tundrafloe]

Love these!

[illbeartheburdenofyourhatred]

if i'm being 100% honest I don't think anyone who isn't disabled tries to get disability i legitimately do not believe it. "x amount of people make false claims" no, x amount of people who make claims are declared not disabled by the government, an institution that doesn't give a shit about disabled people and wants to find any reason to deny us assistance. if somebody goes through the effort of applying for ssi, which isn't a simple process, just for the CHANCE to get a max of $794 a month (but likely less.) and not even be able to save that money up. they are genuinely struggling with something. nobody would choose this if they had other reasonable options