I AM A REBEL I HAVE NO TITLE

Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O, And on his farm he had a Zebra E-I-E-I-O, With a *zebra noise* here, & a *zebra noise* there, here a *zebra noise*, there a *zebra noise*, everywhere a *zebra noise*.

[schrodingersincest]

[walterwhitemediocrity]

[psyce]

i wish british accents were real and weren’t just invented for the ppcu (peppa pig cinematic universe)

[northgang]

[tedllasso]

Lizzo being the relatable Queen™ that she is.

[blackqill-deactivated20200611]

‘get a man who can do both’ men can do neither

[0meadow-deactivated20200602]

quitting my job to focus on getting sluttier

[thebootydiaries]

Police: *banging on door* police!! Open up!

Dunkin' Donuts Manager: I'm sorry sir we don't open until 5

[irnsebastianstan]

peter p: but mr america sir, aren’t you technically only 33? are you sure you qualify for this?

steve, taking a senior citizen parking spot and claiming his 15th senior discount of the day: shut your mouth you’re like 5

[underoosstark]

broke - the team mocking steve for being ‘old’

woke - steve trying to get into a zoo for free because “fuck it i was born in 1918 I deserve the fucking seniors discount”

[writemeasandwich]

I mean yes sure he could just take the military discount and save just as much but it’s the principle of the thing dammit.

[arcaneapologist]

pool employee: sir, Mr. Captain America, this is a seniors water aerobics class.

steve: I was born in 1918 am I not a senior citizen?

exaspertated pool employee: yes, but why d-

steve: some of my friends are in this class just let me take it with them!

bucky, yelling, already in the pool: just let him in susan! you let me in!

[velmasdinkleys]

the queen has returned

[switchingtogeico]

[rexuality]

sound design is my passion

[the-original-cinnamon-roll]

ao3 author notes are my favorite fucking thing ever

[anxietyproblem]

[youaremyeverlovin]

haters will see you rotating the perfect sphere, yet not visually perceive the rotation due to said sphere’s lack of imperfections, and say you cant rotate a sphere

[wetslug]

god i hate being alive i just wanna die in a national park under mysterious circumstances 

[wetslug]

ok im done being dramatic i finally started my homework and its not that bad

[youthoughtiwasasleepdidntyou]

[king]

u know that thing where an animals grow in a far off place and some idiot introduces him to a new habitat and it turns out its characteristics that help them in their own sometimes are too helpful in the new one and they become like an invasive species yeah thats the word i was missing anyway back to my point i think i saw a human version of that just now i was driving in tonights snow storm and i saw a man wearing a big ass cowboy hat to keep the snow off him and a bandit red bandana to keep it off his face and a big ass pancho to keep him warm and nice ass cowboy boots to keep his calves dry and he was prancing along while everyone on the road looked miserable and frozen solid and idk i guess the point im trying to make here is i feel like cowboys would have taken over russia if given the chance or something

[faestruck]

As an Evolutionary Biologist, this is a roller-coaster from start to finish.