Write Me a Sandwich!

Multifandom, femslash/slash, social justice, cute animals, humor, and weird science, history, and linguistics junk. Also a clearinghouse for my writing, both fanfic and original. I'm EldritchSandiwch on AO3, but not the one on Tumblr. They seem nice, though. Avatar by @capydoodle

[parkchanwoohoo]

This whole series is so goddamn funny

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[totally-cis-offical]

Wait that explains everything so so much

[rainbow-demoness]

And since we don't face direct punishment for missing positive social cues like we do for negative ones, our coping skills and compensatory hypervigilance don't develop the same way. So we go through a world of never recognising positive signals, sometimes spotting negative signals, and knowing for sure there's more negative signals we're still missing, because those keep blowing up in our face.

Kind of fucked tbh.

[astromechapunk]

Star Wars Album Cover Art by Steven Lear

[shinraalpha]

i am losing my mind over discovering that there's a species of jumping spider (Pellenes nigrociliatus) that builds nests in empty snail shells and makes little silk webbing curtains to close off the entrance

look at her!! she is so cute!!! i want to cry!!!!

[kianamaiart]

"Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl" 🌟MASTERPOST🌟

"Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl" is a series that follows Aika, a reluctant magical girl, her new friend, Zira and magical mascot, Hoshi. These days, all Aika wants is to be a normal girl but with her "nemesis" Eclipse and the all powerful Lady DeVoid causing trouble, that dream seems to be unlikely.

More under the cut!

CHARACTER BIOS

Post by @kianamaiart · 6 images

💬 56  🔁 3053  ❤️ 13200 · "Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl" Bios! · NAME: Aika (she/her) AGE: 15 VA: Anairis Quiñones

Post by @kianamaiart · 6 images

💬 49  🔁 2094  ❤️ 11284 · Relationship Charts! Worth noting this stuff is subject to change as I develop but the vibes are there

_____________________________

TURNAROUNDS

Kiana Khansmith

Aika + Magical Girl Form Turnaround

Kiana Khansmith

Hoshi Turnaround 💫

Kiana Khansmith

Zira Turnaround 🌙

Kiana Khansmith

Eclipse Turnaround 🌘

Kiana Khansmith

Lady DeVoid Turnaround 🖤

Kiana Khansmith

Miss Turnaround 🌎

_____________________________

CHARACTER FUN FACTS

Post by @kianamaiart

💬 50  🔁 967  ❤️ 4599 · IDWTBAMG CHARACTER FUN FACTS · Well, some fun facts and mostly lore or character relationship stuff. Under the cut!

_____________________________

VOICE CAST

Kiana Khansmith

WHEW! Look at all these beautiful people. This was my dream cast from the get go and I'm so thankful that they were all willing to give me t

_____________________________

COMICS

You're a Star!

Aika-n Do It

I Want to be a Magical Girl

Serve + Voice Acted Bit

Sacrifice

Hands

Crush

Crumblr

Quit

Advice

Kill

Touch

Cope

Purple Moons

Scars

Horns

Broken Phone

Photo

Makeup

Aika Plush Campaign 01

Aika Plush Campaign 02

Hoshi Plush Campaign

MISC. CHARACTER STUFF

Aika Then and Now

Guardian Angel

First Encounter

Tennis Player Zira

Miss Tattoos

Miss Then and Now

Lady DeVoid Ear Wiggles

_____________________________

OTHER

I have a lot of other artwork and doodles that I didn't feel were as relevant to put here but if you want to see them, they're under the tags I used below! So search them on my blog or my archive if you wanna filter out the asks and reblogs!

[dailymanners]

I feel as though what drives most rude / inconsiderate behavior I experience IRL on a day to day basis comes from a place of having this unearned and unnecessary sense of urgency in situations that aren't actually urgent. I think if more people became aware of this completely unnecessary sense of urgency in situations that actually aren't urgent, it might make co-existing and sharing public spaces with other people a lot easier and more tolerable.

That text post that's been making the rounds that goes something like "Omg you made it to the same red light as everyone else but faster and more dangerously and recklessly, should we call nascar? Do you want a medal?" summarizes exactly what I'm trying to talk about.

It's like when I have to change buses at one of the bigger and busier bus stops, and the people who get off the same bus as me shove and elbow past me to get off before me, and then shove and elbow past anyone even slightly in their way on the way to the bus they're switching, only to end up on the same bus as all the people they shoved and elbowed with several minutes to spare before it leaves and plenty of open seats left.

I think this unnecessary urgency a lot of people feel in their day to day lives drives a lot of bad behavior. I'm not saying I'm innocent of this, I've felt it too in plenty of situations that didn't call for it, and regrettably was less kind than I should have been as a result. But I try to be aware of it, and always try to ask myself it it's really as urgent as my lizard brain is trying to tell me it is, and even if it was that urgent, does that still justify unkind behavior?

Is shoving or elbowing another person aside going to make the difference between whether or not you make it to the bus before it pulls away? (hint: at least where I live, most of the time that's a no because the drivers usually won't leave if they see people from another bus heading towards their bus). Is shoving and elbowing people aside in a crowded grocery store going to make any noticeable difference in how quickly you get your shopping done?

Does a few extra seconds of time actually justify cruel and unkind behavior towards people you perceive as slightly inconveniencing you?

[athanza]

From Veronica Tucker via Pinterest

[cartoon-fanaticism]

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face

[wassuppeas]

[reckless-glitch]

[ramblingandpie]

[Video description: Gritty is turning the crank on a flagpole to raise the Progress Pride Flag. He gesticulates angrily that the flag is not blowing in the wind, then gestures offscreen. The flag begins blowing. As Gritty begins raising the flag more, the camera pans out to show a man in a suit and sunglasses, looking like a stern Secret Service agent, is holding a leafblower that points at the flag. End description.]

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[lovelyl0tte]

they flagged this as mature content holy shit

[victusinveritas]

[naughtypiggy]

Scientists uncovered the nutrients bees were missing — Colonies surged 15-fold

Scientists have developed a breakthrough “superfood” for honeybees by engineering yeast to produce the essential nutrients normally found in

TLDR- Modern agriculture pollen is low in nutrients, and there aren’t enough wildflowers. Science has to develop vitamins to supplement the diets of agricultural bees. So plant some wildflowers for the wild bees near you.

[heydocverdant]

you’ve heard of vitamin B, now get ready for bee vitamins

[phaeton-flier]

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

[phaeton-flier]

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

[theaudientvoid]

[centrally-unplanned]

Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.

And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.

[bloodraven55]

god i love this ridiculous fucking show 💀

[usergambit]

PROJECT HAIL MARY (2026) dir. Phil Lord & Christopher Miller

[ladytabletop]

AGON by John Harper

The GM advice in AGON, a game of Greek heroes and their legends, really hit home for me when I read it, particularly that first point. KISS - Keep It Simple, Stupid has been something I have said to myself many times.

[beardedmrbean]

One more in the W column for Japan.

[supersoftly]

Link for extension :3c

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I think companies with lots of desk workers should install this by default