love, a

garden of emotions

[zellilies]

it's pernicious to constantly yearn for something i can't have

[zellilies]

a heart that yearns for genuine love falls into silent desperation.

[m00wd]

A person raised in love and another raised in survival, will never see the world the same way.

—M00wd

[zellilies]

I broke my promise to myself for you.

[zellilies]

I didn't even realize I've actually fallen until you were not there to catch me anymore.

[zellilies]

i don't know how to swim, but if diving into the depths of the ocean meant knowing you more, i would've already been drowning.

[zellilies]

Psalm 119:37

"Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things,

And revive me in Your way."

[zellilies]

Luke 1:79

"To give light to those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death,

To guide our feet into the way of peace."

[zellilies]

i was never meant to look at things too shallowly; i'm meant to understand everything's depth and connect them with my soul.

[zellilies]

No matter how I desire to be remembered, the enormous weight of being forgotten persists in me. For as the ink on my paper fades into nothingness, so do the memories I once carved in my brain and promised to keep.

a girl behind pretentious being // June 7, 2025

[zellilies]

i hate sharing too much of me, but that's all that i'm able to be

[zellilies]

what's on the inside reflects on the outside.

[zellilies]

how can you make someone feel so loved, and suddenly leaving them behind without any words on a random day?

[zellilies]

... and the cycle of loathing and accepting myself continues

[zellilies]

: how can someone do it?... how is one capable of doing it?

: do what?

: disappearing; being gone from someone's life after getting them get used to their presence, like they never actually cared for the person they left behind.

: oh, i don't know, i ask my cat the same question.

[zellilies]

my inability to let go is tormenting me

[zellilies]

I am ruthlessly poisoned by your absence. Since the day you became silent, the thought of you has been consuming my entirety. Still, I am delinquently waiting for you to talk to me; to hold me firmly again.