we don’t talk enough about how the final years of crowley’s life absolutely sucked. he was sleeping in an alley near aziraphale’s bookshop because he couldn’t bear to leave whickber street, his supply of miracles were switched off, he was depressed and had a drinking and gambling addiction, his beloved car was essentially stolen just so he could protect the bookshop, the love of his life left him and only came back when he needed his help and ADMITTED just as much to him and to make matters even worse, they only got to spend a day together before he was erased from existence entirely. anthony j crowley you deserved better.
You certainly love your poor himbo!vampire lover, but he’s definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Like all vampires, his saliva has healing properties so his victims don’t bleed out during his feedings. Because of this, he’s taken to freaking out when you get injured and immediately licking the wound, planting a soft kiss on it after.
He smells your blood, and he gets nervous. The man adores you, he’d be lost if you died!
So when you woke up to the soft ache in your cunt being combated by the pleasure of your boyfriend sucking on your clit, you were quite confused.
As you rubbed your sleepy eyes, you heard your boyfriend choking on his sobs, tears rolling down his pale cheeks as his hands held onto your thighs.
“Y-you’re gonna be okay, angel. Going to… going to make it better…” he blubbered, your blood dripping down his chin before he moved back to your aching cunt.
“Love…”
He sniffled as you reached out a hand to cup his cheek, gently swiping your blood from his lip. “I’m not injured, I’m just on my period.”
Your lover blinked, his eyes going wide, and you could tell if he could blush his cheeks would be a bright red with embarrassment.
“O-oh…”
As he pulled away, you grabbed him by the hair and guided his lips back to your pussy. “But you’re still helping, sweet thing.”
His eyes softened and he settled back down between your thighs, his cheek resting against your belly as he softly nuzzled against it. “Then I’ll take care of you… I’ll always take care of you, my angel…”
So you sat back and relaxed as he fed, making sure to gently push you over the edge and ease your pain.
Date Everything authors I feel bad for you when writing smut because oh Volt and Eddie are fucking you together? on the bed..next to Betty? on the couch…what about Koa are you just squashing him? so the kitchen…I take it Arma and Beverly are cheering you on along with Cabrizzio and Daisuke, and poor Dishy, and Freddy, Friar Errol..I could go on forever.
Genuinely what do you do?? Where do you go? The closet? WITH THE HANKS? Not even the attic is safe and Wallace is in every room and don’t forget Dorian.
Can’t do shit in this house, can’t get backshots without hearing hollering from The Hanks or being lifted and fucked against a door or wall without Wallace or Dorian sighing or grunting loudly. I applaud these writers…
i love you porn i love you smut i love you intricacies of human sexuality i love erotica i love you freak nasty walls of texts i love you analyzing the subconscious through the lens of sexuality i love you bdsm i love you weird fetishes . u move me
Imagine after a fight with Cam, you just kissed him so feverishly while pushing him against the wall.
Making him go down on you and swallow you whole, him looking at you so red you'd think he put on rouge while just working you up.
Imagine him whimpering as you grab more of his hair, dragging his mouth on your hole and him just moaning more, using his tongue and making a slobbering mess
“You like that, don't you Cam? Getting me all riled up just for you to become a slut.”
Imagine him looking at you with stars in his eyes, until you realized he came untouched. And you, cumming in his mouth.
Him pushing you out, and dragging you down to the floor, his face all glistening with fluids, and he smirked at you as he pushed you further to the tiled floor.
“Well, that's done. How about you become my slut now?”
- On your first time, it would be hard for you to find somewhere quiet due to the inanimates following you both, and he feels bad just leaving them.
- Once you're able to find a petsitter, he'd try to make it up for you and focus on you.
- Easily overwhelmed if you're all over him in your first time.
- similarly... he's SO vocal, but he tries to cover his mouth with his hand or a blanket while you just go down on him.
- he's handsy. He would massage your chest, carres your thighs, and just everywhere while kissing you.
- I just know he's thick. He would fill you up and it would feel so good.
- When he's going down on you, I just know he'd love you just grabbing him by the hair.
- Easily turned on with you being vocal too.
- Would love to just be between your legs forever.
- I think he's soft switch vers. He can do both, but I think you'd have to coax him out on being hard on you
- when you're able to though... I think he can be quite the Dom, not hard ones like Doug or the others, but I just know he'd love to tame you by being so sweet– so gentle that it's overwhelming.
- As a sub though, I think he'd be very kind and would praise you a lot.
- I bet he loves praises, both giving and receiving.
- Would tell you how good you feel, how beautiful you look with your mouth in his cock, or how much you stretch him and make him feel so good. He would just look at you with heart eyes and so much admiration.
- When you've done it multiple times though, I'd like to think he'd be a tease... He'd be smirking at you until you go down on him.
- Maybe I just really want him to be overwhelmed, and I think he'd love that– make him think of you and only you.
- I think he can be quite vanilla, but it won't be hard for him to try what you like. He would just love to please you.
- Aftercare with him is just so lovely. He'll draw you a bath or a shower, he'll massage you all over and especially your sore spots, and will have prepared snacks to just chill with.
- You'll feel refreshed, your head will be mush, and he would just give you so much love. It's an absolute 10/10 I bet my life on it.
- You will HAVE to cuddle, eat while watching films or such, or just talk. Either way, he would love to feel your skin around him.
- Definitely a sleeper after sex. You're just so comfortable to be around.
- Would tell you everything that's happening to the inanimates, how the springtail has been eating well, Davi and Stitch being best friends now, and how lovely it is that you're a part of this big family. He's so happy he has you.
I wish kinky sex ed wasn't so stigmatized even among left-leaning "sex positive" circles. Everyone's all "uwu I'm a sub I'll do anything you ask" okay mommy wants you to read The New Bottoming Book so you learn how to sub without hurting yourself since your sex ed up to this point is porn and your ex boyfriend Jared who liked to choke you incorrectly
I’m so glad you asked! Let me list off what I’ve got for you:
Books I personally recommend:
- The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
If you’re having kinky sex at all, you need to read at least one of these two books. Point blank. They’ll teach you the very basics of negotiating properly (which is critical!), and help you identify what you are and aren’t into.
- Mindfucking Mindfully, by Sir Ezra
Where this book really shines isn’t actually in helping you “mindfuck” people, it’s in taking a close look at how to do so ethically. It’s a great answer to the question “how do I get someone to consent to something and still surprise and shock them with it?”
- Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny
This is a slightly niche pick but there simply isn’t a better book on the subject. It’s written from a 24/7 M/s perspective, which is not what I do, but the book itself is an indispensable guide to giving and receiving service. The phrase “if the Master doesn’t want it, it isn’t service” will be burned into my psyche for quite some time. I love this book a lot. Maybe my favorite out of all of these.
- Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation, by Princess Kali
This one’s high on my reading list; I’ve heard it recommended by a number of people whose opinions on these things I trust.
- Pretty Much Anything Midori Has Ever Done
Midori is a great resource for this stuff - I haven’t personally read much of her work, but she’s a well known sex educator and great at what she does. She’s known for bondage, but has a lot of range beyond that.
- This Negotiations Worksheet from Bex Talks Sex
This is what I default to using a lot of the time for negotiations. Forget BDSMtest, you don’t need that, it’s no good. Just look through this worksheet’s wordbank with your partner. Big fan especially of the “how do you want to feel?” section.
Books I can kind of recommend:
- The Ultimate Guide to Kink, edited by Tristan Taormino
This book is weird. There’s a lot of good info for experienced players, but some of what’s written here skeeves me out. I think if I had a top that thought the way some of the tops in here think, they would not be topping me for long. But there’s some good techniques and so on to pick up that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I liked the distinction one of the authors makes between being sadistic in the sense of inflicting pain and being sadistic in the sense of doing something your sub doesn’t “enjoy.”
- The Ritual of Dominance and Submission, by David English
Man, this book fucking sucks. The writing and editing are garbage, and the fear and protocol play described need way more careful negotiation than he ever lets on, let alone recommends. This is some 50 Shades bullshit. The only time I recommend this book is to tops like me who tend to be very affirming to their partners and need a guide on how to really scare them - when their partner consents and when you negotiate it, which this book sucks at teaching you. Really good content on fear, punishment, and protocol play, really terrible presentation of the topic though. Don’t read this if you don’t already know what you’re doing.
- Paradigms of Power, by Raven Kaldera
I love this book. Great book. Very focused on 24/7 M/s play though, and, being an anthology, some chapters are better than others. If you can’t read something and pick out what is and isn’t for you, don’t bother. But some really great inspiration, and generally pretty well written. Big fan of the discussion of leather throughout the book.
Hope some of these are helpful for people ^-^ for the average person reading this I recommend New Bottoming/Topping, but they’re all important parts of my library and I’ve recommended all of them to friends at some point or another.
May I also suggest Hell on Wheels and Kneeling in Spirit by Raven Kaldera, d/s companion books that address kink with a disability. They're a should read for everyone, imo. You never know when you or a partner are going to have changes in your body that affect what you can physically do. Temporary illness/injury and even just age can affect your sex life.
I'd like to suggest Better Bondage for Every Body! It goes really in depth on anatomy, pain processing, self-tying, and has chapters specifically focusing on how to do rope bondage on/for someone who is disabled or has chronic pain, which was really important to me.
I think we, as a general community, need to start taking this little moment more seriously.
This, right here? This is asking for consent. It’s a legal necessity, yes, but it is also you, the reader, actively consenting to see adult content; and in doing so, saying that you are of an age to see it, and that you’re emotionally capable of handling it.
You find the content you find behind this warning disgusting, horrifying, upsetting, triggering? You consented. You said you could handle it, and you were able to back out at any time. You take responsibility for yourself when you click through this, and so long as the creator used warnings and tags correctly, you bear full responsibility for its impact on you.
“Children are going to lie about their age” is probably true, but that’s the problem of them and the people who are responsible for them, not the people that they lie to.
If you’re not prepared to see adult content, created by and for adults, don’t fucking click through this. And if you do, for all that’s holy, don’t blame anyone else for it.
Except this is the last line of consent before the actual work. So if you’re at this button you have already done the following:
1) chosen to go onto AO3 in the first place
2) chosen the fandom you wish to read about
3) had the chance to filter for the things you do want to see like a specific pairing or a specific AU
4) had the chance to specifically filter out any tags you don’t want to see like, oh I don’t know, incest and non-con and dub-con and paedophilia
5) had the chance to set the rating level if you wish to remove any explicit content at all
6) have read the summary of the story, which aren’t always great but are the only indicator of what the story will be like writing wise so something about it was good enough for you to click on it.
7) have read the tags of the story which will tell you what is actually in the story. If you have used filters to remove stories with things you don’t want then there shouldn’t be anything in here that’s a shock to you but maybe there is. That’s why the tags are there for you to check for yourself.
8) Then you have to actually click on the story. You cannot see anything other than the summary or the tags without personally deciding that you are going to open and read this story.
9) Only here, at step number nine, do you get to the adult content warning pictured above. You have been through eight different steps, the last six of which have also been opportunities for you to see that this has adult content. And AO3 has *STILL* stopped you to ask one last time “are you sure you want to read this because it has things that only adults should see in it”.
If after this point you are reading incest and paedophilia then it’s probably because you specifically went looking for it.
“You find the content you find behind this warning disgusting, horrifying, upsetting, triggering? You consented. You said you could handle it, and you were able to back out at any time. You take responsibility for yourself when you click through this, and so long as the creator used warnings and tags correctly, you bear full responsibility for its impact on you.”
Stop complaining with writers when you dislike a story FGS
This also works when stories are tagged, oh say, infidelity. If you don’t want to read about someone in your OTP being unfaithful (I.E., HAVING SEX WITH A DIFFERENT PERSON), don’t read that freaking story. The tags are there for YOU. So stop complaining when the story contains exactly what the author says it contains. Freaking hell.
If I go to the supermarket, walk down the fish aisle, pick up a salmon fillet, pay for it, take it home, put it in the oven, wait for it, take it out, then take a bite…
I cannot complain to Tesco that I don’t like fish.
This audio is totally fanmade. Edited from the R18 game (Jooubachi no Oubou) & r18 drama cd (Kyoiku-teki Dousei Seikatsu Sono ni Midarana Shofu to Koware yuku Aijin).
WARNING: R18/ NSFW/ EXTREMELY EXPLICIT CONTENT/ SADISM. FOR HARDCORE FANGIRLS ONLY
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![Hirarin's moaning [Fanmade audio]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_nm5xwhNBEe1r7zf4uo1_1427950818_cover.jpg)