Things I wish I wouldâve known before developing an eating disorder.
This is not pro-ana bullshit. And if you ever encourage any sort of ED, log out right now.
2. That it does not raise your self esteem. At all. No matter how thin you get.
3. That you probably wonât even be able to see results when you look in the mirror.
4. That your friends wonât immedietly be concerned over your weight loss. (Idk why. Thatâs a big part of what I wanted.)
5. That youâll be jealous of how thin children are.
6. That youâll be so guilty for doing so.
7. So much guilt. Constantly.
8. That itâs literally like there is another person controlling you. Often people will personify âAnaâ. Itâs really like that.
9. Youâre not in control. At all.
10. Feeling fake because youâre not thin enough.
11. Or because you donât drink black coffee.
12. Or because you eat 600 cal a day instead of 200.
13. Feeling fake in general.
14. Your weight wonât ever be your only concern when it comes to looks. Soon youâll obsess over your hair, your face, your fucking privates. It is not limited to your weight. But it just feels like the only thing you can control.
15. How exhausting it is.
16. How youâll lose interest in everything you had loved before. Hobbies will vanish. As will friends, passions, talents. All because of the desire for small boobs and a thigh gap.
17. You may not even get a thigh gap.
18. Weight will not change your bone structure.
19. That fast weight loss is fast weight gain.
21. How much anxiety you get over food. Not just the calories. Who youâre eating it in front of, how to avoid it, how to get rid of it.
22. That you really canât stop whenever you want. I worry sometimes that I wonât be able to eat the candy on Halloween. Or the food at my prom. Or the cake at my wedding.
23. Thin does not equal pretty.
These will not apply to everyone with anorexia. And I am fully aware that other EDs exist. I hope that one day everything will be okay for all of you. And I hope that your okay means recovery.
I post things like thinspo and Ana shit because I have an addiction. A disorder. A physical difference in my brain that doesnât allow me to fully grasp what exactly is so bad about any of this. Like so many others.
Your favorite thinspo is sucking in :)
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