[zero-violence]

So I guess I’m writing this because if Jon deserves closure from me I sure as fuck deserve closure from you.  Please bare with me since I’ve seem to have lost the ability to write coherently.  Don’t worry I’m only passing this single note to you and no one else and would prefer you not share it. 

(each marked break represents a day in which I wrote here.  This took awhile to put together.)

***

I wrote something here about myself.  Personal information about my past that I wanted to share with you.  But I deleted it.  I never delete or edit or change or even rewrite things that I write.  I wanted them to exist as written like paint on the canvas.  Every mistake part of the greater art I had made.  But you taught me something.  Something I didn’t know could happen.  You taught me that my words could be misheard.  Could be changed and twisted to what someone else wanted.  They could turn my words upside down and whiteout every thing in between.  They could burn away my words.  Reach into my chest and squeeze my heart from the words I put on this page.  

I’m deleting the words about myself and my life. I don’t trust them with you anymore.  I don’t know what you mite cut away to fit your own selfish needs.  

(deleted)

(deleted)

(deleted)  

(deleted)

***

You said it was something that always happened to her and she hated it. 

You said don’t do it. 

You said lay off. 

I never listened to you like I should of.  

I keep falling back and forth between this whole.

I had to find out on my own.  I had to make my own choices. 

And. 

I should of buried myself deep and pretended there was nothing wrong with me and kept my friends a little longer.  

Honestly. 

The most honest way to word it. 

I wanted... I want to

I want to hurt myself so desperately so you would never have to.  

I’m going to be writing this over a long period of time and my laptop crashes a lot.  I don’t know if I ever really plan on sending this to you or not.  I don’t know why i want to send this to you.  I mean I wanted to write a suicide letter but this seemed more productive to be honest. 

Rather punch life in the face than admit defeat. 

I don’t blame you for not caring as much as I did.  From my side you were my longest lasting friend who was closest to me.  From your side I was just friend number like 56.  Just another video game guy.  Just another weird person.  Just another one.....My biggest regret are all the words I said during the end that you seemed to ignore.  I did love you.  I genuinely loved you so fucking much.  I couldn’t imagine a week going by without hanging out with you.  I know you had other friends and a job and a life.  But but but I’m not sure right now I have to sleep soon and my emotions have been punching me in the chest all weekend.  Till another day i guess. 

***

I wasn’t going to write here today but someone said you were happy now and I was happy for you.  I’ll try and remember this whenever I get mad at you.  

***

Hi, its me again.  This is turning into some kind of journal entry at this point and I’m not really sure anymore if I’m going to sneak this to you or not.  I mean its going to expose my name change which is probably already known.  But,.  No Its going to expose anything else.  I don’t even know if you’ll read down this far let alone read beyond this page and take a look what's behind the curtain.  I personally wouldn’t do that its a dark place. 

I have all this anger in me directed at you but if these are my last words I really don’t want them to be that way.  

Maybe I’m wrong.

I mean wrong is something you know really well..  Sorry, I couldn’t segway this very well into the next point of my writing. 

You told me Jon would never chase after me.  Its not the kind of person he is.  Jon turned up one night and demanded closure.  Maybe we were closer than you said we were.  We talked but I gently pushed him away like everyone else.   I don’t want you to hate them because there talking to me.  I don’t want you to get upset or angry.  I whole heartedly mean this.  I know these people want to be friends with you and her.  I don’t want to ruin that for them.  I unfriended, blocked, and deleted them for you.  I don’t want them to lose you like I did.  Its not been a good time.  

You told me she wouldn’t just let me go.  She would chase and cling onto me.  That I couldn’t just walk away.  You were wrong.  She let go and pushed away.  It was really that easy.   I don’t know how you got both of these wrong.  

You said I would be ok. 

I’m not. 

I’m not.

I’m not at all ok. 

Sometimes I wonder if you can’t fathom or comprehend or even sympathize these feelings.  I get that you haven’t had many bad things happen to you.  But when someone says they love you why can’t you understand.  I know who popped into your head just now.  Because it wasn’t me.  I honestly don’t think you heard me each time I said it.  

My own mother would be jealous of you.  

I never say those words to people.  

People say them to me and I always reply back with.

“I love me too”.  

If not also

“Yeah I’m pretty great”. 

I used to call it self love because self love was the only love I had.  

The above statements mite be confusing but I’m not here to dip into my relationship with my family right now. 

I’m just here to talk at this wall in front me trying desperately to reach the other side of it,  I’ve been using the word desperately a lot lately.  I am very obviously desperate.  Desperate to live.  Desperate to exist.  Desperate to avoid an end by my own hands. 

I have this deep deep deep hatred for the end of all this.  I don’t believe, well anything anymore.  I don’t believe your tears or sadness.  Just a façade to make her not angry at you.  It would never happen again because you would never let me back again.  You had won.  I was gone.  And she stopped being angry at you one tear at a time.  It must of been easy to get better knowing you would never have to deal with the consequences of your actions. 

Promise that you would never do it again.  

What a fucking empty fucking promise.  

Do you smile every day?  Laugh even? Enjoy life with others?

It must be nice to not be alone.  

It didn’t cost you much did it. 

***

Its like venting.  I really doubt that I’ll ever give this to you.  Just somedays.  Ok like every day.  I miss you a lot.  I hate how it ended.  This is the part of me that wants to grab the knife and stab myself while I smile back at you.  Its ok don’t worry.  It doesn’t hurt that much.  I always wanted one of these.  Only my best friend would know I always wanted this.  And usually around this point I can collapse into a fit of tears.  I’m probably going to lay down and just fall apart as a person.  I do that from time to time. Day to day.  Don’t worry too much about it.  At least times like this all this loneliness fades to the background and I’m left with the crippling pain of everyone being gone.  And everything is just a a void a blur a just constant dark room with the lights off and laying in bed so long it hurt and I can’t even fall asleep anymore.  I mean it got really bad.  I had to force myself to goto my doctors appointment.  I don’t know a lot of people are worried about me and I barely even show whats wrong with me and there just extremely worried about me.  Which worries me what would happen if I actually showed how I was to them.  

Sorry I’m just not not good right now.  I’m sorry.   I should stop talking before I start apologizing non stop till im crying. im sorry.

***

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***

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***

I keep having this constant thought today.  That maybe your a nice people.  And you removed a negative from me hoping it would create a positive.  And it just left this neutral area.  Like just because what’s pulling me down goes away doesn’t mean I suddenly go up or even eventually go up.  I just stay where it left me.  All the way down here.  The same horrible place I was in a month ago. Existing at the edge of wishing it was worse so I could have an excuse to die. 

***

“ Anybody can look at you. It's quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see. “

***

I want to drown

***

I’ve thought about this.  I still want to drown.

***

I don’t know in what world you think its ok to just hurt someone.  And that walking away from the problem you helped make will just go away because you can’t see it anymore.  Someone loves you and your just this horrible human being.  You didn’t just take yourself away you took everyone around you away.  And left this person.  Left me all alone.  This isn’t how you take responsibility.  This isn’t how you heal.  This isn’t how you overcome.  This isn’t how fix what is broken.  You don’t throw it outside and hope it goes away.  Its fucking burned against my skin.  I’m screaming where no one can hear me.  And I’m just non existent to you.  I’m dead.  I went off to the farm where I’ll be happy with a whole new group of friends.  Right?  Life will go on.  Right?  Sometimes I take the knife out and think about it.  So many choices.  I could finish it far better than you.  Just a slit across my neck.  And I would truly be gone.  Never a worry in your life again.  I could just put it back in my chest so much more painfully than you.  But at times like this.  Days like this.  I think about removing it from my own chest.  And gently setting it back where it belongs.  Right back in you.  I really don’t deserve this pain from you.   But I think you do.  I hope the lies pile up.  I hope your twisted emotions pile up.  I hope the fear and doubt you placed in everyone piles up.  I hope you end up in this same place you put me.  All alone.  With a knife in your chest.  And you don’t know what to do with it.  And you scream.  You yell for help.  And it only echoes back at you.  And all you ever loved is removed from your life.  Because you couldn’t overcome something that seemed so small to you.  But bigger than this world to everyone else.  I hope it hurts deeply.  I hope it hurts too much.  I hope its the last thing will ever share together.  

This is funny to me.  Because I know your not that deep of a person to be hurt that way.  And even if this happened.  You would be too blind to it to even notice.  And the people around you would never stab you like that.  Just let you exist in vague little bit of grey life.  Pretending to share in that empty happiness that you have.  Pretending its real.  Because they don’t know any better.  And there too afraid to find out if its real or not. 

Enjoy the happiness you find on the back of all this pain.  I just want you to know you lied.  And you’ll never be capable of telling the truth.  There just words you say to make them not angry at you.  Because that’s the only way you could make them happy.  Or not mad at you.  I think the guilt of them being angry hurt you more than you taking away the happiness.  I think you only thought about your own happiness when you promised you would never do this to her again.  

I think we confused you being a happy person with you being a selfish person. There not one in the same.  You just suck up everyone else’s happiness around you.  And enjoy life putting everyone else’s needs below your own.  Even if you think I’m wrong.  You’ll just be lying.  But only for a little bit.  Because you’ll stop caring shortly and not even bother with lying.  Letting the problem drift away pretending its been solved because its gone.  Forgetting so much that you won’t even know its on the back of everyone's mind when they think of you, interact with you, and talk to you.   

That you mite hurt them too.

So no one will ever push too hard on you. 

And you’ll never experience a deep closeness with someone ever again.  

Handling you gently.  In case you throw a tantrum and decide they aren’t allowed in your life anymore.  

I don’t want this knife anymore I think. 

Please take it back. 

***

Man, I feel guilty thinking about her as a friend the same way people feel guilty talking to me once because of you.  Can’t even think about people we care about without the guilt that you mite get upset about it.  

***

I really doubt you’ll do this or care or feel some deep yearning to be a better person.  But I know other people have a little bit more humanity within them than you.  

 But if you feel some greater sense of self and feel she needs to hear something from me  Just let her read this.  

“Don't worry soon ill be someone you cant remember and I'll forget you easily. Ill disappear and ill never exist for you no matter how hard you try to remember. You'll have a happy life. Its going to be ok. I won’t exist in a way that you can think about. Only a memory.  I refuse to be more than that.  Goodbye. “

***

I was supposed to write something nice here but I’m not sure I can do that. 

Maybe if I pause a moment something will come out.  Something that will bring a smile to you.  Something that doesn’t stab and punch at you.  

Maybe not though. 

I’m going to disappear.  Be someone unable to be reached. In person.  Online.  In memory.  I won’t even let her remember me.  Change my favorite color.  Burn my favorite books.  Be someone that only exists to her in fiction.  A story someone once told her.  Something that was never real.  Can you be jealous of a fictional character? I bet you would find a way.  

She won’t even be able to remember me.  Not a single person around you will ever even allowed to experience my existence.  Not a word from me.  Not even a sound.  Something less than a ghost.  

And I hope. 

I hope and I pray so fucking much. 

That the voice at the back of your head goes away.  And you never hear it again.   And if another voice comes into the back of your head I pray for the ones around you. 

If this is the cost of your peace of mind than I’ll pay it ten fold for you.  I’ll stab and bleed out for you.  You have to live your life.  You need to live your life.  I hope one fucking day you realize all the things she does to chase after you.  All the bits of your existence she’s been copying all this time that you never noticed.  You should really try and be more healthy for her sake.  Be a little more responsible.  No one is going to take care of you but you.  Be stronger.  She follow along right behind you like a child.  You mite not notice.  But she’ll pick up the same weight you do and try and be strong too.  She’s infatuated with you. 

Be someone worth all that love.  Don’t flinch before this daunting task.  Stand strong. Head up.  Look forward. And you walk.  One step at a time.  

You do the small things.

Stop ordering out less.  And she will too.

Start saving money And she will too.

Exercise so you live longer.  And she will too. 

Be out going.  And she’ll be right behind you jumping with joy. 

Its time you make a life.  And drown out all those demons in your head. 

I don’t think you’ll read down this far.  I don’t think twchh will give this to you for me.  I think you’ll refuse it in a fit of rage if you even look at it.  And if you even open this and start to read.  A tantrum will erupt from you and my words will be lost beneath your rage once again.  

Its how I motivate myself to disappear so easily.  Because well. 

Like you said. 

You wont chase after me.  

So if for good or bad.  Worse or ugly. Whatever mistakes I make from here on out.  I do it with the thought that I won’t exist and I won’t hurt you anymore.  You’ll be happy.  I’m constantly agitated with the thought of the things I need to do so I can disappear fully.  Burn this, buy that, cut here, and bleed out over there.  It takes a lot to change yourself.  I guess you were right about that.  

If you somehow read this far.  I want to thank you.  For what short time we spent together.  I shouldn’t apologize anymore.  But I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better person for you.  I want you to be happy and I wrote all of these words out of love for you.  And if given the option I would do it all over again.  Yesterday, today, 10 years from now.  I would let you stab into me all over again.  Don’t be scared of hurting me.  Don’t be upset that you did.  I’m endless.  I’m forever.  I couldn’t die if I wanted too.  The world won’t allow my escape.  It requires more from me. Sorry this is getting so dark but this is the brightest my days get. 

Goodbye who was once a friend. 

Goodbye who was once more than just that. 

So much more. 

Goodbye 

***

***

***

By the way I’m still giving you a birthday gift if I can figure out how to make it work.  That’s more for me than you.  I wanted to give it you before your trip so you had some extra pocket cash but I couldn’t get the money together in time.  I want to do this because I’m not a liar. You were my  friend and I wanted to give you a birthday gift. 

Anyways I’m going to see if someone will give this to you now.  

[vampyre-mutagen]

Nothin.last4ever

[zero-violence]

Are you still sad?

[zero-violence]

Sorry my tumblr is weird but please remember to follow the real/active account https://www.tumblr.com/the25thviolence

[zero-violence]

Something Cool Sounding

wow i have to rewrite this already because it wouldnt let me copy paste something simple into there, i already hate this thing….. i write and do writering.  This is another channel for the things i do.  I tweet alot @cazjuice and all my writering goes on http://cazjuice.blogspot.com/ . 

I thought i would start out with something i wrote awhile back.  Its my view on writering.  I am doing this so i dont get a bunch of complaints about “oh you spell everything wrong”, “your grammar is just horrible”, and “i hate you”. And oh wait to copy and paste again omg im going to kill this thing…..

Freedom

As i crawl thru the broken glass lined cave i think about the friends i have just loss, the death i have just seen, and the death i have so acceptably walked myself into. It all started with a kiss, so sudden, so light, so soft. It was beautiful and amazing. The moment felt like a magic spell was cast upon us and time stood still. The battle has been raging on for its 23rd hour now. Both armies have moved nowhere. Millions have died. All the dead faces i see on the ground just become a blur now. My only focus is on surviving till my next breath. With the stroke of a pen you paint a picture of a lush rain forest or inside a debilitated factory. With our words we created beautiful works of art that no one has ever seen before. Each story is a new world. Each poem is a new person. A pen is my brush and the words will be my paint. May it be written out or typed. My words will create a new universe for you to explore with your mind.

Thank you for reading my first post on here.

[the25thviolence]

Hey past me. Its me, future you.  It’s been a long decade.  We don’t go by cazjuice anymore its a dead name. We don’t even use blogspot anymore.  Some crazy basketball/meme fantasy writer scooped you up for a hot second and you had a cool website.  It was fun but eventually you lose the website because of depression, money, its kind of hard running a website.  

You meet a lot of people.  Surprising neither of us you move on from a lot of people over this time.  Surprising both of us you somehow know 3 people for a very long time.  

The writing changes and grows. We barely do ourselves but the words pull us forward.  We overcome a lot during this decade.  We get punched in the face a lot.  Knocked down a lot.  Broken a lot.  We keep standing back up.   Its like you said, its all we know how to do. 

Our new name is Zero__Violence but it mite not be permanent.  Were constantly running from being known right now.  Trying to feel comfortable in our own skin again.

My only advice to past you is punch back harder than they punched you.  When all is lost, find it.  And when no one wants to do what is needed, do it yourself.   When the world refuses to spin, get behind it and start pushing.  Atlas was weak and we our stronger. 

Till a decade later.

Well this is supposed to be the grand reopening of my soul.  A reintroduction of sorts.  My name is Justin and I currently go by Zero__VIolence.  I lost a lot of writing from my life during the great void.  I deleted a lot of my online footprint.  Did my best to disappear.  Got found.  Now I’m angry.  I tried to rescue all my old writing I could and reblog it to this blod so it would still exist for me.  Also reblogged a lot of things I liked from my old blog.   Parts of my soul I wanted to keep in this next stage.  

I tweet (more like rant and spam) from @Zero__Violence https://twitter.com/Zero__Violence    I post still overwatch videos on youtube from https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVDVsrNKY2mzu7SvJ1oVnrA 

You can even find me on Spotify as Zero_Violence.  I like to make 10 song playlists for moods.  So its basically depressing 90% of the time.  

I’m going to be writing again here.  I’m going to be alive again here.  I mite go grab the last few writering things I did (I love that word old me).  But for the most part I start back up again now.  

Welcome back to this glimpse of my soul.  

[zero-violence]

I think its time I move on from here and leave this place behind like an old journal in the attic.  In the future maybe some kids will find this place and read it.  Drowning in the words like I did.  

I need to step away to step forward. And if I’m going to fall apart every other day I’d rather do it where I can’t be seen.  I still do this with the calming thought that I know no one will show up.  Like a cliche character getting on a plane to fly away forever.  No forgotten character running thru the terminal after me yelling wait.  I know I do this without loss.  Its weightless.  Its clear.  Its an empty feeling.  

I’m still changing my favorite color.  I regret sharing that. 

I’m changing my favorite book.  I regret sharing that.  

I’m talking to less people.  I regret talking to anyone at all.  

Somethings still feel like mine and I refuse to let go. 

But who I was is just a memory of a person I no longer am.  

So when they try to remember me.  They won’t be able to hold onto me anymore.  I’m taking myself away, even the memories.  

I’m not asking you to forget me.  I’m telling you your no longer allowed to remember me.  I’m taking myself from the people who I should of never trusted. 

So easy to walk away when no one asks where your going.  

The silence broke me.  The waiting broke me.  The forgetting.  The ignoring. The pushing away. And the pulling back.  I told you absolute silence is the meanest rudest most hard hearted thing you can do to somebody.  I wasn’t wrong.  I became less than alive. 

My life will not get better. 

I will not be ok. 

Stop lying to yourself about me.  

I’m tired of being lied to even when I’m not around.  

Let me face the world with honesty.  Its so much easier to see this way. 

Goodbye to no one but myself.  I’m the only one deserving of that word.  

[zero-violence]

I think I’ll wash away now.  

[zero-violence]

and I hate this feeling of wishing ill will onto others.  hoping they hurt just as much as I do.  Its not good for the world.  I don’t feel like a good person anymore.  I just want to punch the world till it shatters the way it shattered me.  Its been too much for too long.  I can’t care as much as I used to and it pains me.  And I feel like I lost so much of myself.  I feel directionless.  Like I need to go somewhere but I’ve forgotten the place.  I’m sure it was next to that gas station.  Maybe at the next light.  Maybe I’m on the wrong side of town now....

The dark feels so bright to me.  It was painful when I knew I shared some things because I could feel it all ending soon.  And I had never gotten the chance to share those things I loved.  But I snuck them in at the end.  Right before the great void inserted itself into my life.  And suddenly everything about myself reminded me of how much I was hated.  And the world was just really dark for a really long time.  Darker than I was used to.  Dropped down to a new level of hell.  One I wasn’t expecting yet.  And all the weapons I used to survive I had given away to others.  

I thought I would start to get better once I started to move forward.  But the memories don’t rub off.  They don’t go away.  Because a part of me still trying to find the pieces missing from me.  It doesn’t know where they went.  Just a deep yearning for what I tossed in the fire. And I can never get those bits of myself back.  A gaping bit of me waiting for what I once had.  

[zero-violence]

I really regret letting people in during a year like this.  I really opened the door to get fucked up by the world.  It hit so hard.  I lost so much in the aftermath.  

[zero-violence]

I think this falls into that group of things I’ve had a really hard time verbalizing in my life. 

Like living with multiple disable people and the emotional draining it does to me. 

Saying that my family does almost nothing for each other.  Not even the bare minimum.  To the point an old co worker had to take me away for the day because i wanted to kill myself 

I don’t find it hard to say that though.  I’ve wanted to kill myself multiple times in life.  And I always found myself standing back up because I knew the world wasn’t finished with me.  More pain was waiting and I wasn’t done with paying the tabs of my families mistakes. 

I remember one time a few years ago.  Everything hurt so much.  All of it. All at once. And my brain just gave up.  It could no longer create the chemicals needed to be that kind of sad.  And I just sat there with an extreme emptiness inside of me.  

Like when I was 27 and I realized I had lived longer without my dad than with.  And it all just kind of settled in my chest for once in my life.  And my world started spinning again for the first time since I was 13.  

My nephew tried to kill himself multiple times last year.  My mom started the year dealing with cancer.  My brother is getting divorced.  I have to move in with him soon so he has a place for his 4 kids.  My mom’s house has a leaky roof and no heat.  And I worry what will happen to them if I leave during the winter.  My brain tells me will work and be at 2 homes at once.  Till it breaks us no matter what.  We survive to keep them alive.  We bare it.  Its not heavy its existence and nothing more than yourself can weigh you down. So the heavier I still remain the same.  So I stand up each time I fall down.  

I still can’t say friend.  I slip up when trying to explain something quickly.  Always saying “this person I know” or “someone I used to work with” or “this guy I used to play overwatch with” or “some kid I know that coaches teams” etc etc etc.  Never friend.  I don’t want. I can’t have.  

billions of people have lived on this planet and so many of them never got what they needed to exist, to live, to be loved. No shame in being another nameless soul passing thru the life cycle of this rock.  Its small.  Its meaningless.  But I just want to make sure the people around me hurt as little as possible.  

I always felt like I wasn’t allowed to die.  That I could take so much more pain than everyone else.  So it was ok to be yelled at, made fun of, hit, battered, and destroyed.  It wouldn’t break me all the way. It never would  And after awhile.  I would just stand right back up.  

The world is a weak place.  When the child stands on the chair and pretends to be tall.  It is not are place to knock them down and remind them of who they are.  But to bare with the sudden height from which there small hands as they beat against my chest.  Feign pain. Imitate the idea that I am weak.  And let them experience a small bit of happiness to help them feel better. 

I’m not sure where this was going.  But I feel like every time I say something I couldn’t before.  The bruises and still bleeding wounds make a little more sense.  And my aching body receives a small bit of understanding.  

I’m stronger than I am willing to admit.  

That’s ok. 

Some people aren’t.

And that’s ok. 

Some people act like they can abuse this though.

And that’s not ok.  

[zero-violence]

Two different people to take the pain the world gifted us.  

One to call it unfair.

And one to sit up and hope there ok. 

What must the world of done to them to make them hurt others so.  

If I can bare it long enough.

They’ll hurt a little less. 

And the world will have 2 less painful people in it. 

[zero-violence]

Do you crumble or do you melt from your bones? 

Does the thought of what happened eat your brain. 

Each time your eyes blink a little bit of you is consumed. 

When your empty.

And gone.

Do you think the world will stare down at your slumped over corpse?

And ask if your ok.

Or will this planet keep spinning.

One sunset.

One sunrise.

After another piling up till the wind sweeps you away.

And when the world looks down at you. 

It’ll see nothing.

Like it did all the times before. 

[tearfulangel]

[last-tambourine]

George

i have a final exam in 56 minutes

the instant i pass this exam would have been the instant I am allowed to touch you

and you went and died on me

and i hear of your death on social media

i wish I knew who you were

the man whose bed side i served at for months

every morning at 8 am

on the 16th floor

with the most beautiful view of lake michigan

i have a name

i have a d.o.b

but no one told me you were one of the city's best chefs

in and out of your sleep you recited what sounded like a menu

i assumed you had been a waiter

i can tell you now and i know you are reading this

i ate at the restaurant where you cooked frequently

i ate food that you cooked with your tired gentle hands

your hands touched my lips

your hands touched me on the insides

George

I skipped many sunrises on my spot at the beach to be with you

to serve at your bedside as your interpreter

day in and day out

that was too much chemo to fucking fathom

that morning

on the 16th floor

looking over lake michigan

6 months ago

when you looked me in the eyes and without saying a word you asked me to pull the sheets over your shoulders because it was chilly in the room and because they kept carelessly uncovering you

when I pulled your sheets up and covered your shoulders

the tips of my fingers touched your skin

when the nurse yelled and said that i am not allowed to touch you

you wanted me to translate what she said

your tears.......

i vowed to do what it takes to allow me to touch you

George

if i pass this final exam i am allowed to adjust your sheets for you

i can touch you now

but you died on me

someone we both know announced your death to the community on social media with a photo of you from a couple of years ago

you were a very handsome man

until we meet again

never lose the mustache

~ last tambourine, George.

[traaumaa]

you never believed anyway.

[thoughtkick]

So many versions of just one memory, and yet none of them were right or wrong. Instead, they were all pieces. Only when fitted together, edge to edge, could they even begin to tell the whole story.

Sarah Dessen, Just Listen (via thoughtkick)

[remanence-of-love]