Poor attempt at a proper description just below

| 20+ | Italy | Ciao! Call me Ziba | Italian, English, trying to learn Japanese! |A bit of everything (Tag system present! Tag spoilers as [x's acronym] spoilers for about a week or more in special cases) | Current faves: BnHA, Hq!!, Noragami, Dragon Age, Mass Effect; check about page for a more complete list! (Animanga, videogames, books, TV series, books and so forth)

[zibasworld]

Alistair: Are... are you drinking a potion you picked off a darkspawn corpse? Are you really doing that?

Warden: You people made me drink literal darkspawn blood, what more do you want from me.

Alistair: ...Please tell me this isn't where you get all our potions.

Warden: ...

Alistair: Lie to me if you have to.

Warden: ...I don't pick all our potions and supplies off our enemies. Morrigan is totally happy to brew all our potions for us.

Alistair: Lie better.

[solvatochrome]

i think its funny that after you give blood, they keep calling you every once in a while to ask if you want to give more blood 

and i get it, blood is important and in short supply, but it just seems like

hey… we heard you made more blood. can you… can you give us that new blood? that sweet sweet fresh blood? its been a while, jacob. we know you have it. we know you have the blood jacob

[yekkes]

Who is going to tell men that repeating phrases from popular television shows and hating female celebrities isn’t a personality

[nichons--dangereux]

Bazinga

[yekkes]

Highly cursed yet perfect comment

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[skrillcholas-cage]

oh my god these are great

[princemetalthunder]

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

[leftboob-enthusiast]

Okay so I bought a dress today (along with a pair of dark blue velvet pants they are great)

and it looks pretty normal, right?

WRONG

GREETINGS I HAVE COME TO LAY A CURSE UPON YOUR VILLAGE AND KISS ALL YOUR WOMEN

[dakterrible]

Lesbian Trickster Goddess

[leftboob-enthusiast]

Excuse me, that’s BISEXUAL Trickster Goddess, thank you very much

[logicaloveranalyst]

Represent

[constellations-and-energy]

Reblog the Bisexual Trickster Goddess for a bountiful harvest and encourage representation of Bisexual people 

[whimsymascara]

“You hurt me, brother. You hurt me, brother.”

[ear]

@ girls with girlfriends … how did u do that …

[littlesoy-deactivated20190519]

Talk to a girl

[aquilarios-deactivated20180610]

Impossible. Have a terrible day.

[xkumah]

baby, it’s cold outside

[gayyfieri-deactivated20180209]

leia is bisexual and was in a relationship with holdo thank you for coming to my ted talk

[khattikeri]

endeavor: [does a single thing]

the entire cast of bnha: 

[janeypievanas]

Our favorite photo from when I was trying to get a Christmas-card worthy photo.

[classystaches]

they’re probably playing animal crossing

[randanopterix]

This has to be my favorite omake

[roxilalonde-deactivated20251105]

as a gay person i’m very lucky to live in this century because given that millennials are the gayest generation on record, my chances of getting a girlfriend have, historically, never been higher

[roxilalonde-deactivated20251105]

someone just tagged this #AND YET and i know i’m the op but mood

[franeridart]

More similar to his mom than he’ll ever admit

[alphonse-elric24]

Is there nothing Edward and Alphonse Elric can’t do?

[queen-olivier-deactivated201501]

know for a fact they can’t even keep one little girl alive

[suifeng-deactivated20170312]

[vivedraws]

denki is Tired™