jez dispenser @zjierbunderscore - Tumblr Blog

rabbitkinglune777

WIP of transgender dog woman

purveyorofpudge

truer words have never been spoken

stay fat and sexy, people in my phone 🫶🏻🫶🏻

gammadoppler

Alien pulling your sleeve to get your attention: and who is this Cunt you all serve

ghodaer

the olive garden waiter looking for me to say when while he sucks me off

#happy ending olive garden #he breads my stick till i soup my salad #nods warmly #the silliest dog in the troupe

she do re mi til i fa sol la ti in her do

#the silliest dog in the troupe #good post actually fuck you

kosmogrl

we got august this week

homunculus-argument

There's this one specific interaction on reddit that I wouldn't call "infamous" but I also know that everyone who knows it knows it by the punchline, so in order to not ruin it for the ones who haven't, I'm just going to talk all of you through it as I'm saying this.

The beauty of it is that you could place that exact same dialogue into any time and place in human history and it would make just as much sense, you could have it as a conversation between sailors in a 1600s ship, a group of bronze-age warriors cleaning their weapons, stone age hunters walking home from a hunt, or a bunch of 21st century redditors on the internet, and it would hit just as splendidly.

There was this conversation about if you could have sex with any specific person from any time through human history, which one would you choose? Famous legendary lovers were brought up, queens, emperors and such were popular, might as well fuck Rasputin just to see what the hype was all about, the kind of answers one would expect.

Then some guy said he would choose his own late wife. He went on to talk about how brutal it is, that you might find the love of your life, but there's no promise that this life couldn't be suddenly cut short. That his body aches for hers and how there isn't much he wouldn't do for one more opportunity to make love to her one last time.

Now, I'd like you to imagine a pause in the conversation. A solemn, contemplative moment of silence, with several of the people present nodding in agreement that this is indeed the finest answer - it wasn't a competition, but there's no doing better than that.

And then someone breaks this solemn silence and says:

"I also choose this guy's dead wife."

enby-denby

For the sake of letting the full story be known: you have to imagine that after another moment of horrified silence, Dead Wife giy bursts out laughing and says, with a bittersweet smile "yeah, that was her sense of humor..."

homunculus-argument

Oh fuck that's right I neglected the most important part of this.