You knew it! My new original song “I Knew It, I Knew You” for Disney and Pixar’s Toy Story 5 will be yours on June 5th. I’ve always dreamed of getting to write for these characters who I’ve adored since I was a 5 year old kid watching the first Toy Story movie. I fell instantly in love with Toy Story 5 when I was lucky enough to see it in its early stages, and I wrote this song as soon as I got home from the screening. Sometimes you just know, right?
You can pre-order now exclusively on my site and catch Toy Story 5 in theaters June 19th ☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
don't go into the humanities because they're unprofitable and don't go into stem cuz its getting torn apart right now and don't go into buisness because it's competetive and speculative and don't go into education because it pays like shit. Just lay on thr ground. Just lay on the ground.
i can never articulate it properly but something that rotates permanently in my head is that the first time you get a real indication of Shadowheart behaving… abnormally for a Sharran is when you’re in the Grove and she approves when you save Arabella from the snake. and then you find out later that one of the only memories Shadowheart has been allowed to keep was the Mother Superior threatening to throw Shadowheart into a wolves den if she was in trouble as a child. like yeah seeing a little girl, terrified out of her mind, being threatened with a deadly animal and an adult stepping up to say That’s Not Right, She’s Just A Child, This Punishment Can’t Fit The Crime Here, actually protecting the child instead of allowing it to happen… probably one of the first steps towards her deconditioning
Fanart from @aevallare's (whomst I ADORE TERRIBLY~*) fic "Pour One Out", a modern day "Kindred" AU, 2 fics that you should go and read right now immediately!
Bonus pose that I gave up on (cuz the legs just wouldn't. fuckin'. cooperate!!!) under the cut.
I have to hand it to Astarion's creators because ever since Baldur's Gate 3 came out only 2 months ago, artists are speed running art history from the Renaissance to current times by recreating every famous oil painting but with the stupid vampire as the subject and I'm like "Yeah, that's right" every time. I don't know exactly what Larian Studio put in that guy but it is certainly working.
I used to really love the first romance scene with Astarion (and I still do) but it hits so much harder after you know why he's doing it. That he's purposefully seducing you for protection and blood, that he's forcing himself to sleep with you, and this is a mask he's wearing.
It's a sexy scene and really feeds into the vampy (pun intended) jump-your-bones version of him you get at the start of the game. The whole thing starts out with him being so confident and suave, saying that he's wanted you ever since he set eyes on you and how you want to be known and tasted. It's like everyone's perfect vampire romance novel.
He's laying out the bait that's worked thousands of times over and luring you in. And you can just get right to the kissing if you want.
But, you can also stop and ask him, "And what do you want?"
And for just a moment the mask drops. This is not the same cocky seductive face we've had up until now. This is vulnerability showing. When has anyone asked him what he wants? When has anyone cared? Does he even know the answer to that question?
So he pivots. The mask snaps back into place immediately. He turns back into the master seducer and feeds you a line about shared ecstasy to get you back on track.
And then comes what is, to me, the pivotal moment. He asks you "That's what you want, isn't it? To lose yourself in me?"
Looking at his body language he seems unsure at first, maybe questioning his previous tactics. Then he slightly cowers back, lowering himself as he asks the question. The total opposite of his confidence from earlier where he's standing with his arms out wide.
He's not sure what you want anymore. You're not playing by the rules he knows. Why haven't you taken the bait yet? Why haven't you thrown yourself at him?
And when you finally Nod in agreement, confirming you're here for sex?
This. This is the face he gives you. He just looks so damn sad. To me, it hearkens back to "Of course it'll turn me into a monster. What else did I expect?"
Whatever momentary blip made him question why you're there with him, he's just been reassured about both of your roles in this situation.
He sounds so quietly resigned when he answers: "I thought so."
And then the scene transitions into the actual act. I do like to think Astarion enjoyed himself as I'm sure the PC did, but it's hard for me to watch this scene now that I know his story and history without being uncomfortable.
Just that line "lose yourself in me" is so difficult to hear. Because on paper it's so sensual. Who wouldn't want a lover to feel that way about them? But knowing the context of what Astarion expects and believes in this moment is just... oof.
And to me, this is what makes this scene brilliant. The writing, voice acting, and the mocap/animation are all just SO GOOD. It's so delicately done and Astarion the character is so good at playing a role that you can completely gloss over the deeper stuff. But once the mask is eventually stripped away you can't help but see what was there the whole time.
And as we've established, being seen is a whole aspect of Astarion's romance arc.
I originally romanced Astarion for the same reasons I'm sure most did: he's a hot, sexy vampire elf (i.e. everything that's on the surface). But, I keep coming back to him over and over again for the person I know is waiting for me underneath the mask.
I am deeply appreciative of how much of a loser they made Astarion. Like he's sexy sure but the man doesn't have a single W to his name. He's been stuck in tunnels eating rats for years and his first time out and about he gets literally brainwormed and has to pull some Wil E. Coyote shit to team up with people. His whole menacing blood drinking schtick is immediately undercut by him being a massive virgin about the whole ordeal. In his centuries long flop era and trying so desperately to cover it up
