Tobin: Change is inedible.
Leif: Don’t you mean 'inevitable'?
Tobin, spitting out coins: No, I do not.

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Tobin: Change is inedible.
Leif: Don’t you mean 'inevitable'?
Tobin, spitting out coins: No, I do not.
Max, doing a crossword at his desk: Hey, I need a four letter word for annoyance.
Zoey: Leif.
Max: Oh. It fits.
McKenzie: Squirrels don’t get married, Tobes.
Tobin: Like you could possibly know that.
Joan: You strike me as the sort of person that had a hard time in high school.
Leif: Thank you?
Zoey: Here you go, Joan! A nice, hot cup of coffee!
Joan: Eugh, this is cold already!
Zoey: Nice cup of coffee.
Joan: It’s horrible!
Zoey: Cup of coffee?
Joan: I’m not even sure this is coffee.
Zoey: ...Cup.
Tobin: When will Ted himself finally show up to the talk?
McKenzie: The final boss.
Leif: You guys do know that TEDTalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right?
Tobin: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer.
Tobin: In my defense, it tasted really good. What am I supposed to do? Not eat the thing that tastes really good?
Leif: It made your mouth bleed because it was destroying your taste buds! You are not valid!
Joan: Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Zoey: I did. I broke it.
Joan: No. No, you didn't. Tobin?
Tobin: Don't look at me, look at Leif.
Leif: What? I didn't break it.
Tobin: That's weird, how'd you even know it was broken?
Leif: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Tobin: Suspicious.
Leif: No, it's not.
Glenn: If it matters, probably not, but... McKenzie was the last one to use it.
McKenzie: Liar! I don't even drink that crap.
Glenn: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee bar earlier?
McKenzie: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Glenn!
Zoey: Okay, okay, let's not fight; I broke it, let me pay for it, Joan.
Joan: No. Who broke it?
Leif: Joan... Yasmeen has been really quiet.
Yasmeen: Oh, really?
Leif: Yes, really!
The group: (devolves into chaos)
Joan, to the side: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. (looks back at the group) Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Leif: I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior.
Tobin: I promise...
Tobin: ...d other people that I'd be on my worst behavior. And I gave them my word, so...
idk if it’s relevant but about that one quote with the high pitched note to try to get someone to go to the ear doctor, that is from the office :)
thank you for letting me know!!
Mo: We need to go through this locked door. Max, give me your credit card.
Max: *handing it over* Here.
Mo: *places it in his pocket* Thanks. Simon, break down the door.
Tobin: Guys I got a pet snake! What should I name him?
Leif: I'm sorry, you got a wha-
McKenzie: William Snakespeare.
Tobin: You can tell a lot by a woman’s hands.
McKenzie: What?
Tobin: For instance, she has hooves. That’s a horse.
Zoey: I swear to God, the next one of you guys to say "weird flex but okay" is going to lose their kneecaps.
Tobin: ...
Tobin: Preposterous boast, but alas...
Zoey: Who accidentally drops their phone in soup?!
Tobin: Oh, it wasn’t an accident.
Zoey:
Tobin: I wanted to see if it could float.
Zoey: What are you, five?
Leif: Yup. Five heads taller than you.