certified tree ho '17

[nicetrails]

[homesoutofhuman]

Me, calculating the age difference between me and a celebrity as if THAT is the biggest obstacle in our hypothetical relationship: yeah okay this could work

[zvarn]

Me with Mandy Moore for the last 15 years

[themakeupbrush]

Balmain S/S 2019 

[taurusqueer-deactivated20200607]

[joematar]

I’m sorry people aren’t sharing the actual end of this which is even better:

[ororomunroedontpullout]

[kristensnotebook]

[unpill]

the year is 9 AJB (after jennifer’s body)

[zenec]

me @ myself:

[fandomlife-confessions]

[weirdgirlvampire]

i am LOVING the Twilight Renaissance 

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

Everyone in the comments talking about how a woman is born with all her eggs and has them her whole life but a sperm cell is only made maybe a couple of days before conception and now all I can think of is that one really weird week, right before Edward and Bella get married, where Jacob is freaking out because he finds Edward smoking hot out of nowhere and that’s why he was being weird at the wedding.

[ruinedchildhood]

[gahdamnpunk]

This is why baby boomers think we can pay for school while having a part time job

[smoochuu-deactivated20181228]

im so mad

[earthstory]

[highfunctioningfool]

[meangirlnurse]

i’m pretty that everyone familiar with these movies has thought about this at least once

[thugilly]

dead

[pissvortex]

new survival reality tv show

you are dropped in a remote location, alone and naked. you have 30 minutes to prepare before an adult silverback gorilla is dropped on your location.

[pissvortex]

the area will be randomly selected but treacherous wilderness, like in Man vs. Wild, but this time all the locations would be terrain that a gorilla could naturally navigate with ease.

you will have only the natural resources of the area to prepare. you can’t kill the gorilla because that’s animal cruelty but he can kill you. your only options are to trap the gorilla, appease the gorilla, or hide from the gorilla for 3 days but if the gorilla hasnt found you by the start of the 3rd day the producers will release a second, angrier gorilla.

the gorilla drops in with a parachute like in fortnite

[perkypalmtree-deactivated202205]

Can I befriend the gorilla?

[pissvortex]

yes that is a part of the appeasement option but if you are still naked when you try to befriend it the gorilla will be disgusted and punch your head clean off

[shimmerthighs]

if you hold an empty gatorade bottle up to your ear you can hear the sports

[bird--coos-blog]

lol so i was on the Rick and Morty facebook page and they are doing a contest where the winner gets to voice a character on the show, and someone asked if a girl could win and some self-entitled asshat responded but then

[animatedtext]