So, technically, I know Thanksgiving is an American holiday… history… yadda yadda. However, this is not Thanksgiving.
This is Mootsgiving, and what I say goes ‘cause this is my holiday. Anyway! Mootsgiving is all the basic ideas of Thankgiving but better because I’m great like that.
I just wanted to show everyone how grateful I am, since gratefulness is a key principle of Thanksgiving.
I want all my moots from different countries to be able to have the picture-perfect movie-esque Thanksgiving of being surrounded by friends and family with all the care and love and gratefulness that can be poured into a single human. And, as the ever-dramatic Runar, what better way to do that than to organize a huge event?
So! Rules!
State what food you brought
State one thing you’re thankful for
My name is Runar, I brought the eggnog, and I’m grateful for each and every one of you 💗🫶
Really sappy and really long paragraph/speech under the cut!!
Soooo… to start off my big long speech… *clinks my fancy wine glass that’s filled with a mysterious substance* (It’s eggnog)
When I first started this blog, it was off a whim. I wanted to do something, something that involved putting my work out there, as I was just starting out. I wanted to mean something. In any sort of way, I wanted to leave a sort of mark. Not just any mark, though, no. I wanted to add a bit of joy, a spark of life that comes from creativity, and adding words and love into the space we occupy on this floating rock in space.
I wanted to write because it made me happy, and I wanted there to be a possibility of someone who was who got joy from reading to maybe stumble upon it, and get joy from me. Get joy from something I was able to provide for them.
I was also incredibly lonely. I had no friends, I had nothing, pretty much. I didn’t talk much. I was reclusive. I was okay, but I was empty. I didn’t have a purpose. And while I wasn’t expecting much, nothing at all really, I was overjoyed at the prospect that maybe just one person would stumble upon something I wrote and for a moment of their day, maybe they got peace from it.
Maybe they felt a little less lonely. I would have been at peace with just knowing the possibility of it was out there. And then… it did. And I got more than I bargained for, even, I got a friend. My first friend.
From there, everything… clicked. Slowly, but ever so surely, things were falling into place. I was gaining something that had not even crossed my mind. A family.
So, my silly dream born from a whim became friends, connections, and family, it became life-altering. It had ups, it had downs, it had in-betweens. It was beautiful and messy and happy and sad and fucked up and so wonderfully… human?
Yeah, this is online, this is a silly mootsgiving idea I thought up three hours ago because I wanted people to know I love them.
But to someone who had nothing, this is everything. You are everything.
Even if we’ve only talked one time, you have a special place in my heart. The character growth has been… one hell of a ride. I’ve gone through many eras, and made new friends in each and every one of them. So, with the end of the year closing soon, I suppose in a way this is not just a silly mootsgiving.
My bigger end goal, really, was to make sure as we get to the end of this ear, you know how genuinely important this whole year has been to me. How important you have been. I got an anon ask,
What does it feel like to be wanted?
It was beautiful poetry. I replied, said I wouldn’t know what it feels like to be wanted. But really? I think maybe I do. I think it feels like having enough people that you love to organize and invite everyone to a huge event online, to write out this heartfelt paragraph and trust that at least one person will care enough to read it.
My beginning goal has changed so much, and not at all. My biggest purpose in life has been, and I think will always be, to add something into this world.
Creativity, joy, happiness, compassion, I want to ensure that no matter what, as long as you know me, you know you have one person on this earth who loves and cares about you with as much feeling that can physically be felt by one person without exploding into a bunch of tiny little runar pieces.
But moreso, I think maybe my goal has changed from wanting to put stories out there, to putting myself out there. I don’t want to write stories that are just fiction, just crafted ideas meshed together to create a blob of fiction.
I want to write pieces of myself into everything, which i think might genuinely be impossible to not do. I want my heart to pour out of my fingers into the things i type out for you, and i want to not only feel things, but to maybe make you feel something too. Something warm and fuzzy, something good, as good as you deserve.
Yay thank you for inviting me! I'm also grateful for you <333
I'm Ash, I brought pasta (plain pasta, only they're a normal amount of salty. It's my safe food lol). And I'm really, really grateful for the opportunity to go to a mental health specialist, actually getting some help, and my mental health starting to shift for the better.
hello!! i'm raven and i brought cheesecake! and i'm so grateful for everything that has gotten me through this hard year, from my friends (irl and online) to my hyperfixations to a couple of music artists (more specifically, conan gray). i'm so thankful that i discovered all of you, i really really am, i genuinely couldn't have made it through this year without you guys. even if we've only talked once or twice or a hundred times, i hold you all so dearly in my heart. i love you guys <3
i'm so sorry if i forgot anyone, i'm falling asleep on my feet but i just wanted to finish writing this haha
(first of all holy shit op that speech was so sweet and stuff I actually almost cried)
Thanks for the tag!
Hey guys I’m Emma, I brought sausage and peppers (it’s an Italian thing I promise this is a normal thanksgiving food)
I’m grateful my friends (both irl and online here), who are really more like a family if I’m being honest. To me, the title “friend” just doesn’t truly capture the bonds that I’m so lucky to have made with the people I’ve met and surrounded myself with. We’ve all gone thru so much shit in our own separate lives and yet not only are we all still here surviving, but we are truly and genuinely living. And part of that, I think, is bc we’ve managed to create this sort of little community on here meant to lift each other up and be the support system that not everyone has out in The Wild. It doesn’t matter that we don’t know the full story, bc all we see is that another person just needs someone else to Be There, and that’s more than enough for us to step in and support whoever it is that’s struggling.
I think I’ve only posted vents abt my personal shitshow maybe once or twice, but there was still at least three different blogs that reached out to me on that post, making sure I was ok. And I know I’ve gone out of my way to do that too. And I know it makes a difference. Bc I’ll make a vent post thinking that it’ll just go out into The Void and that no one will see it, but then when I get a reblog or comment checking in, I realize how nice it feels to know that there are other people out there and that they care. Not only do these strangers on the internet see and hear me, but they genuinely give two shits about me yk? And so anytime I see a vent post, regardless if that post is from a moot or not, I make sure to respond bc I know how much it means to know that somebody out there cares.
And I’m also lucky that I’ve surrounded myself with legitimately kind and thoughtful people irl too. That I have those physical pillars of support to rely on as well. And I really do hope that you guys also either currently have or are creating similar communities in your own worlds too. Bc I know shit sucks and it feels like everybody’s out to get you, but I promise that those lifelong friends are right there and that you just have to go looking for them. I mean if there’s so many of us online, then there has to be at least one irl. It’s scary and you’re gonna want to shit yourself, but taking that first little step of saying hi or introducing yourself really does make a difference. Hell, half the friends I make both irl and here are just bc I started out the convo by making a sarcastic joke. Seriously tho, it’s going to be ok and it’s most definitely worth it.
So yea. Sorry for the long rant and all lol. Cheers to the past, to the present, and to the future. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you guys nothing but the best, and you deserve every good thing coming your way. Happy Mootsgiving. Love you guys🩷
(Tags under the cut, I did my best to remember everyone lol)
@thatpjogirl-12
@your-average-toast-enjoyer
@spy-and-ophelias-ghost
@ginnyluna
@blitzstoneshouldbecanon
@pipabethshipper3000
@your-dazzling-sun
@pumpkin-gizzards
@werewolf-exe
@icarianlibrary
@nonsensefunsense
@nico-di-angelo-aaaaa
@architechtofthegods
@pineappletortilla
@damsnackbar03
@liesmultixxx
@politesprotectionsquad
@garvalhaminho
@thewrongwarrior
@letsplaythermalnuclearwar
@the-gods-strange-children
@incorrectestquotes
@keefessketchbook
@erklen11
@levesqyueer9
@pjowasmy1stfandom
@percabethcoded
@unstableunicornsofasgard
@petalidisole
@xixovart
@wonderrosss
@frogthane
@demigod-jack-hearth
@restrainedchaoticperson
@mentallyunstablequeen101
@shootingstar-17
@g0blinm0d3
@nhzmlplths
@v3lilla
@noahkant
@lusxnei6
@emdabitchass
@vint-knight
@a-wet-hamster
@mushroompapitheoriginal
@whyaremyshipsalwaysdying
@idontloveanybodythatsmypower
@vincentschild
@jucktheduck
@spacesharks28
@goddessofwind8water
@saintly-bovine
@bast-the-best26
@lizzzzzzzzzzzzzz---lol
@dealinquent
@auggies-dreamworld
@maryschepherd
@defenestrationdaily
@a-fucking-tornado
@ravenwordss
@telugu-girl-13
@anintellectualintellectual
@anothertorturedpoet13
@headcanonforthought
@emilem-forevermore
@magicalmyths
@knight-elm
@irisvault
@pjo-tvs-version
And of course as always, anyone else who wants to join!!
Omgs this is so cute tysm for the tag you're so sweet 🥹🥹
Hey y'all, I'm Rickie, I'm bringing a lemon tart (idk what I'm supposed to bring ;-;) and, just as @boldofyoutoassumeicanspell, I'm really grateful for my friends, both online and irl.
I'm not really good with words, but I'll try to make a mini-speech here.
This year has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I've had some really, really high points, and some really, really low points. I've been through so many "phases" in the span of less than a year, and no matter what, my friends were still there to support me. I try not to vent much online since I feel like I'm just bothering random strangers on the internet (which I know is not entirely true but still), but whenever I do I know I have a network of people who will be there for me, and I try to always be there for them too. Not only that, but my friends are the people I share my passions with. I finally have people who understand why I love certain things or hate others, and I really appreciate that.
And to my irl friends: thank you so, so much for being there. I never had friends as good as you guys are. You're always there, no matter what happens between us, you're always there. I'm always there too, I think. We don't all share the exact same interests, but we always try to respect each other's things, and I'm so grateful for that, because I'm tired of people rolling their eyes at me when I tell them I like musicals or true crime or whatever wacky things I'm into. You also never diminish me because of my tics. I've grown familiar with people saying things like "Stop flapping your hands!" or "What do you mean 'it's too noisy'?!" (sometimes even from my own family), but you never say that, and if you do, it's always a joke and not actually talking down to me. I've always been insecure about my stimming and you make me feel so much better. Anyways, there's a thousand other (positive) things I could say about you guys, but I know probably none of you (well, maybe one of you, max two) is going to read this, so I'm ending this here.
Anyways, sorry for the rant, I'm dropping the @ all my moots cuz I really can't tag that many people. Love y'all!!!
My name is Arden and I am bringing tons of fresh strawberries. I'm in a mood for them rn, okay?
Getting tumblr has been such an amazing part of my year; even though I've only had it for a few months. It's been so great to get to connect with other fans of my special interest. Thanks to Lemon for having a post on wattpad about getting a tumblr account, it got me to make one and I haven't regretted it. I love getting to be a part of communities with people like me, it's such a refreshing feeling. And whenever I see that a moot liked or reblogged one of my posts (most likely a reblog) it fills me with so much joy. I'm really grateful for all of you people I've tagged below (and the person I've reblogged this from). You guys are great and I've loved being your moot.
Helllooo!!!! I'm Ell. I'm bringing sugar cookies (gluten free because I actually prefer those and I like not being in pain) I'm really thankful for my friends online and irl. I've been not feeling so great lately and the really only time i feel genuinly happy is when i'm with my friends. so thank you so much for that. i'm so happy and lucky to have such amazing friends that support me no matter what. thankyouthankyouthankyouTHANK YOU!!!!! happy moots giving!!!!
@just-a-non-binary-fellow
@kitkat-moon
@raise-a-gla55-2-fr33d0m
@gmm-iplier-16
@the-space-jesus.
@aaronpurr-sirr.
@sadgalwrites
@paigecena01
@scudismystud.
@promisesbutnevertokeep
@musical-fiend
@zizziey
@moththenumber
@iliveinyourfridge67
@feign-tries-to-be-funny
@legendary-defender-of-fandoms
@outromoony.
Please let me know if you do not want to be tagged and I'm sorry if i accidentally tagged you somehow.
I’m Chloé, and I’m bringing cinnamon rolls. massive, drenched in icing (it’s the best bit) cinnamon rolls.
This year I’m thankful for a lot of individuals, my mum, my dog, this emotional support person I’m very much attached to *cough* Olivia *cough*, that one ginger, LOLO ESPECIALLY OH MY GOLLY GOSH LOLO DESERVES ALL THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION IN THE WORLD, each of my moots, Taylor Swift, Conan grass and Land Norris.
HAPPY MOOTSGIVUNG WHANAU !!! I love all of you so so much and you so much for the tag Chloé !!! All y love your wayyy
Kia Ora! I’m Nevaeh and I’m bringing the marshmallows and hot chocolate stuff !!
Uh where to start aye? I’m thankful for all the wonderful people in my life, you lot mean the world to me and i wouldn’t be here without you !!
And I think this deserves its own paragraph but I’m so so thankful for my amazing girlfriend, partner, and best friend @zer0brainc3lls. I love them more than a lot of things and meeting them is definitely one of the highlights of this year. I would not be the person I am without you my love. To think that all of this happened in the first place because we were moots first is insane. You’re forever on my mind and I love you, so so much. More than words can described, moony 💚🖤💛
HAPPY MOOTSGIVING !!!!!!!
@bay7let @newtslvt @newtmasislove @newtandmalfoy @zelcii @bellzsad @bubbles-and-puddles and anyone who I missed I’m so sorry if I did !!
happy mootsgivingngngggg!!! thank u for having meeeee!!!
i'm claire and ill bring some tiramisu :))
i'm grateful for music because it’s a comforting constant in my life. it's what i use to connect with people and what i use to help me connect with my emotions. it’s something that connects people, no matter where they’re from or what language they speak. music kinda symbolizes that you don’t have to fully understand something to appreciate how beautiful it is. the emotions, the melodies, and the rhythms speak in a universal way that crosses any invisible or natural barriers we build between sex, races, or orientations. it’s amazing how a single song can make you feel less alone or bring strangers together in a shared moment of joy or understanding. music is a reminder of how deeply connected we all are.
i'm also very grateful for my little brother. he constantly shows his care for me, albeit in his own way. he's been my number one since his day one and i wish nothing but the best for my baby brother. we live in different countries and i only ever see my family un person for christmas and new years so i'm very grateful for all the time that i do spend with them. i'm grateful i can call them anytime that i'd like, and i'm grateful that they still show their support for me from like 7000 miles away.
lastlyyyy, i'm so so so sooo grateful for my boyfriend who inspires all of the good things out of me. i'm grateful for the love he shares with me and it's incomprehensible to me how someone could care so much for someone like me, yet he manages to show it every single day. i'm grateful that he let's me pour all my love on him cause heaven knows i have so much love that it feels selfish to keep it all to myself. i'm grateful he eats the pepperoni's off my pizza, buys me batteries at 2am when my nightlight dies, and takes me out to dates "just cause." he's the best thing thats ever happened to me. love u, babs :))
the first time she’d seen sirius black, it was as though her world sharpened around him. the first year gryffindors were mixed into her class with the rest of the ravenclaws and there he was, just a boy in the back of transfiguration, head thrown back in laughter as he huddled with his friends, facing away from professor mcgonagall. he moved with a casual elegance that looked effortless, as if he was simply born knowing how to take up a room and make it his. and from the moment she saw him, her heart picked up its own rhythm, matching the pull he had over her head.
the next time would be in hogsmeade on a chilled sunday afternoon. from a distance, she watched him then, and the desire that rose in her was nearly painful, visceral, something she hadn’t felt before. he was a paradox of rebellion and charm, his manner both enticing and dangerous in the same breath. it was a heady kind of longing, the way she felt herself gravitate toward him even as she stayed rooted in place. he simply wasn’t someone you could approach. sirius black was the kind of boy people waited for, the kind they longed for, knowing he could break their hearts with a smile.
she told herself it was just curiosity at first, just fascination with the way his presence seemed to cast shadows and light in equal measure. he was quick with laughter, but his eyes held a darkness she wanted to understand, a mystery that felt like it held the secrets of a thousand lifetimes. everyone else around him seemed bewitched, but none with the same hunger she felt for him—an intense, electric want that she hadn’t known she was capable of feeling.
on a particular february night, the castle was steeped in an unusual quiet, the kind that made the halls and staircases feel almost secretive. her prefect rounds had been dull, with only the crackling torches and her own footsteps for company. something in the chilly air—a restless thrill—had urged her to climb the winding stairs to the astronomy tower, an impulse she couldn’t quite explain.
as she reached the top, she found him there. sirius black sat perched against the edge, his silhouette stark against the star-lit sky, dark hair tossed by the wind. And of course, she knew he wasn’t allowed out of his room at this time of night—let alone gryffindor tower—yet she couldn't find the words to send him back. even more, he looked uncharacteristically subdued, his eyes distant and fixed on the sky. there was something so vulnerable about the way his eyes glided across the stars. something so human. something so kind.
again, a part of her thought she ought to send him back to bed, but the sight of him, cloaked in moonlight with that rare, unguarded expression, stopped her. maybe it was the slack in his posture or the stillness of the night itself, but something about that moment convinced her it would be a good idea to sit with him. so she did.
“patrol?” he asked, his voice soft but clear as she settled beside him.
she nodded, tucking her robes closer to block the chill. “and you? don’t tell me james quit.”
he flashed her a grin, that familiar spark of trouble glinting in his eyes. “not quite,” he said, shrugging, though his gaze never left hers. “couldn’t sleep. thought i’d find something worth watching.” he leaned back, his gaze flickering briefly to the sky before meeting hers again. “though, i might’ve just found it,” he whispered, so quietly she could have sworn it was only a trick of the wind or a figment of some half-dream stirred up by that pull she’s felt since their first year.
after that night, the two only seemed to grow closer. what had once been fleeting exchanges between classes grew into conversations that stretched long past curfew, their voices mingling in whispered confidences neither would ever admit to in daylight. only the walls of the astronomy tower bore silent witness to their growing fondness, to secrets exchanged under starlight and half-formed wishes that faded with the dawn. with each encounter, she found herself left with a new piece of him, but somehow, it was never enough. every moment they spent together only left her wanting more, craving the answers to the questions he kept locked away behind that easy, charming smile.
but she was patient. she kept her distance, watching, wanting, her heart caught in a quiet wait. she knew he’d love her eventually. and when he finally did, laughing a little too hard at her smallest jokes, eyes lingering on her with a warmth she could never dream up, she felt the whole world tilt, as if he’d cast a silent spell, binding her to him in a way she would never escape.
but now, sitting across from him in a quiet muggle café, the thrill was harder to find. she watched him from beneath lowered lashes, studying the way he fidgeted with the sugar packets, occasionally glancing up and offering a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. that’s normal, she’d insist.
“i’m sorry i missed dinner last week,” he said rather sheepishly, as if he hadn’t missed each one in the past week. sirius’ eyes flickering between his hands on the table and the hint of grief in her eyes. “things got... complicated.”
she nodded, pushing down the twinge of disappointment. she was smart enough to know it was more than that. “i understand,” she replied, though her heart whispered questions she refused to voice. he was here now, wasn’t he? and that should be enough. it had to be enough.
he looked up at her, his gaze warm, but as she tried to meet his eyes, he seemed to falter, focusing instead on his coffee. a pang of uncertainty twisted inside her, and she wondered—just for a moment—if he was holding something back. he would tell me, she thought, though she’d never heard such confidence in something she was so uncertain about. she forced herself to look away, reminding herself of the boy she’d known since hogwarts. her first love. that carefree, wild-hearted sirius who had made her believe in a version of love that could withstand much of anything.
the days stretched on, slipping into weeks since the last time she’d properly seen her sirius with only occasional letters flying through her windows. each time she told herself it would be enough—that he’d made time for her, that he cared, even if he couldn’t always show it. But she’d last seen him mid-september, and it was already nearly halloween. she reminded herself of all the reasons she’d fallen for him, all the glimpses of the man before lonely nights and empty beds, and bent her truths to match the love she held for him.
it was a crisp afternoon when she finally saw him again. the autumn leaves crackled beneath their feet as they strolled through an overgrown garden near the edge of town, the golden hues a reminder of the time they’d let slip by. he looked tired, shadows etched beneath his eyes, and she found herself resisting the urge to reach out, afraid he’d turn away.
“you look... tired,” she said, her voice soft with concern.
he chuckled, brushing it off with that familiar smirk. “long nights, you know how it is.”
“do i?” she pressed, searching his gaze. he laughed, but it didn’t quite ring true, and he glanced away, shoving his hands into his pockets. “you haven’t been home in weeks, sirius…” he spares no answer.
“you’re too good for this, you know?” he said suddenly, and there was something in his voice she couldn’t place. her heart clenched, an echo of her own fears mirrored back at her.
“oh, don’t say that,” she whispered, reaching out to brush his arm. “i’m right where i want to be.”
then he looked at her, his expression unreadable, and she felt the weight of a truth hanging heavy between them, unspoken. maybe she wanted him to argue, to tell her that he felt the same, that he was right where he wanted to be too. but he only gave her a sad, knowing smile that sent cracks through her carefully held illusions.
she looked at him, brow furrowed, feeling that familiar worry settle in her chest. “how’s… how’s harry?” she asked, her tone soft, her eyes watching for the shift she knew would come.
sirius’ face lit up, and for a moment, all that weariness seemed to be left and forgotten. “harry’s brilliant,” he said, a real smile breaking through. “james says he’s trying to talk now—mostly babbling, but you should hear it, darling. the kid’s got lungs.”
she found herself smiling, warmth blooming at the sight of his joy. it was almost magical how just the mention of his godson could bring him back to life. but a pang of jealousy couldn't help but twist inside her, unexpected and uncomfortable. sirius could light up at the slight mention of the child, yet somehow he couldn’t even bring himself to come home, to their shared life, for more than these fleeting moments. but the guilt of it—feeling that pang in the face of everything he was carrying—only left her aching and frustrated.
instead, she forced herself to focus on the way his grin left small wrinkles by his eyes, nodding along as he told stories of harry’s latest antics. he looked lighter somehow, talking about the infant’s laugh, james’s silly impressions, lily’s latest frustrations with their son’s constant wiggles. she watched him, studying the way his eyes softened with each memory, even as she felt a familiar longing take root. for weeks now, she’d felt him slipping away, held back by something he couldn’t—or wouldn’t—talk about. every letter had only deepened the gap, and now, with him right here in front of her, she still felt that distance, thick and unspoken. and though she’d never admit it, as he spoke, it was painfully clear that all he could possibly want was a family—a life that was bigger than the two of them. and she simply wasn’t sure if that was something she could provide.
“do you miss it? home?” the words slipped out before she could stop them, and for a moment, she regretted it, watching his face for a hint of his response.
his smile faltered just slightly, then he caught it, masking it behind a veil of sincerity. “you know i do. just… so much to keep an eye on, yeah?”
she nodded, the answer feeling thin, the ache of it lingering. “of course,” she whispered, hoping he wouldn’t hear the sting in her voice. she wanted him to see that she understood, that she knew he was dealing with something, but a part of her wanted him to feel her hurt too. weeks without him had left her feeling almost invisible, but asking for anything more felt selfish. she could wait, she thought. she has done it before.
still, she wished she could reach him, even if only for a second. he could be so close and yet feel miles away, and the urge to ask—to demand he let her in—warred with her instinct to let him keep his secrets. he must’ve been protecting her. maybe he simply didn’t want her to see the weight he carried. but merlin, did it hurt to feel so helpless beside him.
before she could lose herself too much in the thoughts, she felt his hand slip on to her waist, squeezing gently. she blinked, startled out of her reverie, and looked up to find him watching her, his gaze softer than she’d seen in a long while.
“i’m here now, aren’t i?” he said, voice quiet, almost uncertain, as though he feared that it would never be enough.
“yes,” she murmured, a small, strained smile surfacing. she forced herself to hold onto that single word like a lifeline. she felt her pulse steady under his touch, her breathing slow just a little, and she tried to take comfort in his presence, even if it was fleeting.
they stood like that for a while, the unspoken things hanging in the air around them. it wasn’t everything she wanted, and it wasn’t the full return she craved, but for now, it was enough.
that night, there was a knock at the door that came rather unexpectedly. when she opened the door and saw him standing there, bundled against the night chill, her heart leaped. he offered her a lopsided smile, his eyes carrying that familiar warmth that always seemed to melt away her doubts, at least for a while.
“thought i’d surprise you,” he said, holding up a small bouquet of half-wilted flowers as a peace offering. she laughed, pulling him inside, and they spent the evening in a cosy blur of shared laughter and soft touches. the world outside seemed to vanish, leaving only the two of them, wrapped up in their own quiet happiness with only the four walls of their flat to bear witness.
later, they lay in bed, her head resting on his chest, tracing lazy circles on his skin as she rambled on about a random thing she read that morning. he held her close, his hand brushing through her hair in gentle strokes. in that moment, everything felt complete, as if they were suspended in time, untouchable by the fears that usually lingered between them.
“stay,” she whispered, eyes heavy with sleep and a hope she knew she shouldn’t hold on too tightly.
he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his hand stilling in her hair. “for as long as i can,” he replied softly, though she felt his words sink into her like stones, each one carrying a weight she didn’t want to face. but she closed her eyes, letting his warmth lull her back into the illusion that this could be enough.
the next morning, she woke up alone. the space beside her was empty, his warmth already fading, and though she told herself not to worry, that he’d left to do whatever the order had asked of him, a lingering dread settled in her chest.
several days passed without a word. she tried to go about her life, but the silence gnawed at her, each hour feeling heavier than the last. but the lack of an owl by her window after each passing evening left her feeling sick. what felt worse was that she’d spent her halloween in bed, alone with the memory of his warmth.
then, one evening, she flicked on her muggle television, hoping for a distraction. the flickering screen settled on a breaking news story: the murder of a young couple, identified as james and lily potter. the anchor’s voice sounded distant, hollow, as they spoke of sirius black, now named as the prime suspect, accused of betraying his closest friends.
she froze, her mind going blank as she watched the images flash on the screen. lily’s face, laughing and full of life; james, his grin bright and full of nothing less than joy. and then, sirius, captured in a haunting black-and-white photo, his face hardened and unreadable, the look of a man she barely recognized.
then an owl came.
she stumbled to her window, frantically reaching for the latest on the daily prophet. there, in bold letters across the front page, was his name, branded with accusations and whispers of betrayal.
her heart hammered as she scanned the page, each line chipping away at her defences, tearing down the walls she’d built to protect her fragile hope. it didn’t make sense. none of it made any sense.
she sank to the floor, clutching the paper as her mind replayed their last moments together—the way he had looked at her, his reluctance to stay, the things he had left unsaid. and she realised, with a cold clarity, that this must have been what he’d been hiding all along. the uneasy glances, the sad smiles, the way he couldn’t quite meet her eyes.
it had all been there, plain and clear, but she had lied to herself, bending his truth into something far more digestible. she had convinced herself that the man could do no wrong, that he would always come back to her, that they had a future worth waiting for. and to be fairly honest, that was still what she hoped for.
but now, with the truth laid bare before her, she couldn’t pretend anymore. he was gone, taken from her by choices he’d made and secrets he’d carried, and she was left with nothing but the hollow ache of loss.
in her mind, the news made perfect sense and yet felt utterly impossible. there was no way in hell that sirius—her sirius—could do such a thing to a family he loved more than their own. she couldn’t reconcile the words she was reading with the feelings she’d felt only nights before. and now, she simply didn’t know what to believe anymore.
when i said this was roughly inspired by lie to girls i meant roughly roughly. this is also not proofed lol.
newt sat at the edge of the roof, legs dangling over the side, fingers wrapped around the rough, cracked ledge as he stared out over the fading day. it was cold up there, the kind of chill that seeped into his bones, but he welcomed it. maybe he even needed it, something to drown out the heat that still burned under his skin, the anger that seemed to be constantly simmering now, ready to boil over at the smallest thing. he’d yelled at thomas just moments ago, let the words hidden in his head come out sharp and cutting. he couldn’t seem to hold anything back anymore.
he closed his eyes, letting his mind drift back to the glade, back to the grass, the clear skies, the sense of order. there, he could breathe, feel the ground under his feet and know that it was real. out here, everything was chaos, crumbling buildings and a sense of fear that followed everywhere he turned, and it felt like he could trust nothing. not even himself.
and now there was this... the thoughts that coiled in his head, twisting him up from the inside out. he’d fight it as long as he could, he promised. fight to hold onto who he was—what he was. but the flare was clawing at him, slowly eating away at every sense that made him feel human, until he didn’t even recognize the person he was becoming. he clenched his fists, staring out into the sunset, the dark indigos bleeding into warm oranges. he thought about all the promises he couldn’t keep, about how he used to believe that somehow, they would all make it out of this mess together. now, he was barely holding on, just one wrong move away from dragging everyone down with him.
“newt?”
the voice broke through the silence, soft and careful, like he was afraid to approach him. newt didn’t turn around, didn’t look, but he felt thomas sit down beside him, close enough that he could feel the warmth radiating from him, but not close enough to touch.
they sat there for a moment, just breathing, the only sounds the faint hum of the city in the distance and the quiet whistle of the wind around them. thomas didn’t say anything, didn’t push, didn’t pry. and somehow, that made it even harder to hold it all in.
“it’s different… out here,” newt said finally, voice rough, the words barely above a whisper. “i don’t even remember the last time i felt alive—like. alive.” he emphasised, looking down at himself, his voice tinged with a bitter edge. “i feel like a wreck, man.”
he could feel thomas’s eyes on him, that quiet, intense gaze that somehow saw straight through him. thomas’s silence spoke enough. newt swallowed, the words coming out jagged, like they were tearing him apart from the inside.
“you’ll be fine, newt—” thomas started but newt’s patience was thin. he cut him off. in any other circumstance, newt would argue. in fact he'd agree wholeheartedly, simplly because the words came out of thomas' mouth. but newt just couldn't care anymore. he always new he wouldn't make it. he just didn't want anyone, especially thomas, to blatanly lie to him like he was stupid.
“no, i won’t be.” the blonde gestured to his arm, the infected bite hidden beneath his sleeve.
thomas stared blankly at the bite, watching the way newt rotated his wrist in such a careful manner. he couldn’t help but think it was all disgustingly unfair.
he remembered earlier on in the labs with janson. newt’s name dripping so blatantly out of the rat man’s slimy tongue. the control. the glue. unimmune.
thomas shifted to face him with a sense of urgency, his fingers twitching like he wanted to reach out but didn’t know if he should. “don’t… talk like that,” he said, voice soft but fierce. “we’re getting through this. we always do. somehow… we always make it out.”
newt laughed, a bitter sound that cut through the quiet, his eyes fixed on the dark horizon. “yeah? you think so?” he shook his head, voice low, biting. “you don’t get it, tommy. this—” he tapped his head, his words thick with anger. “is ripping me apart. i don’t even know who i am anymore. you think i want to live like this?”
thomas’s hand found his, squeezing tightly, grounding him. his eyes flickered between newt’s. “i don’t care how bad it gets. you’re still… newt. nothing’s gonna change that...”
“i’ll take care of you—” he said it so surely, so certain, it almost made the throbbing pain in newt’s head go away.
his chest felt tight, his throat burning as he held back the desperate things he wanted to just spill out of him. “you’re a bloody idiot, you know that?” he whispered, voice breaking. “it’s rotten work—”
“not to me.”
thomas’s voice was steady, like he was trying to anchor him. he wrapped his arms around newt, pulling him close, holding him like he was the only thing keeping newt together. newt stiffened for a moment, but then he let himself sink into thomas’s warmth, his strength, feeling the way thomas was holding on so tight, like he was afraid newt would slip away.
he could feel thomas’s heartbeat, steady and real, grounding him in a way he hadn’t felt in weeks. and for a moment, just one moment, he let himself believe that maybe he wasn’t completely lost yet. maybe there was still a reason to hold on for a little longer.
newt smiled. a real smile, small and delicate, but a real smile. he hadn’t done that in weeks. maybe longer. and it felt like a part of him he thought was gone was still there, hidden under all the darkness.
Go back to ur roots and write more tmr claire 🔫🔫🔫🔫
🫡🫡🫡
godspeed | alby
the keepers' voices were loud and sharp, cutting through the thick night air like knives. shadows loomed in the corners of the keeper hall, flickering with the light from the lone lantern hanging overhead. it was a space filled with tension, where every decision could mean life or death. nick stood at the center, fists clenched and jaw set, feeling the weight of leadership pressing down on him. he was responsible for every glader, every rule they followed, and the thought of one of their own, a greenie, lost in the maze, twisted in his gut. the others surrounded him, their faces tense, waiting for him to speak, but it was the emotion in the room that pulsed like a heartbeat—fear, anger, desperation.
“kid went into the maze knowing what he was doing. the shank wanted to play hero; so let him learn the hard way,” alby’s voice was firm and stubborn, and his eyes were colder than usual, laced with something indifferent.
“alby… he’s just a kid,” nick said, his voice steady but his hands trembling into tight fists at his sides. a deep frown carved across his features, his frustration bubbling beneath the surface. “we can’t just leave him in there to die!” he exclaimed, as if the answer was clear to everyone—because to him, it was.
alby shot back, voice rising, “so you think rules don’t matter anymore? each one of them, nick—each one keeps us alive. you break it, and there are consequences. if we go soft now, what message does that send to the others?”
the other keepers stood in tense silence, exchanging glances filled with uncertainty. it was clear this wasn’t just about the greenie; it was about something deeper. alby was offended. offended that nick didn’t trust his judgement, offended that every keeper in that room disagreed with hm, and offended that his word didn’t seem to matter at the moment.
nick’s face softened, but his stance didn’t budge. “not everything is about punishment, alby. sometimes… you gotta remember we’re human. or else what’s left of us won’t be worth saving.”
alby held nick’s gaze, the room heavy with unspoken emotions. just then, gally stepped in, his brow furrowed, trying to break the tension. “hey, let’s just… chill for a second, yeah? fighting isn’t gonna bring the shank back. let’s just get him back, then figure out what were gonna do with him after he’s here in one piece.”
“yeah? well, who made you leader?” alby shot at the tall blonde, something defensive sewn into every word he uttered. gally’s face contorted into one of total disbelief, his brows knitted as he looked at the dark skinned boy incredulously.
“whatever, alby,” gally knew that if he said anything else, the situation would just escalate, so he backed off. minho, however, did not.
“dude, let’s not tear each other apart over this. we’re all on the same side, right?”
but alby shook his head, pushing back the concern. he walked up closer to nick, each step fuelled with something you could only describe as pride. “you guys think i’m the bad guy here? i’m just trying to protect us. if we start bending the rules, we’re done for.” his voice trembled with frustration, each word whispered dangerously aimed towards nick. but they didn’t seem to affect him at all.
“we’re not saying any of that, alby.” nick looked tired more than frustration and it was almost a plea how he said it, but they all knew alby would never step down.
before nick could respond, alby turned around to walk out, his voice dropping low but cutting. “if you can’t see that, then maybe you don’t belong here. fuck you, nick.”
nick’s expression shifted, hurt and anger finally flashing across his face before he masked it with his usual stoicness. “you know what? forget it.” he turned sharply, the words lingering in the air like a challenge. the keepers watched, breath held as he walked towards alby. “i’m doing this wether you like it or not, good that?” and before alby could argue, the door slammed in his face.
silence fell, the weight of alby’s words hanging heavy. gally exchanged a worried glance with minho, both knowing this was a breaking point.
“damn, alby,” minho muttered, shaking his head.
“i didn’t mean it like that… i just…” alby tried, but his words trailed off, a lump forming in his throat. he felt the distance between them—between himself and nick—stretching like a chasm. It was an uncomfortable sensation that left alby in a pit of regret.
newt ran after the boy, limping slightly but pushing himself to catch up.
“let me go with you,” he demanded breathlessly as he finally reached nick. the doors were set to close in less than half an hour, and having newt alongside him would give them a better shot at getting back safely. “don’t go alone.” it was almost a plead how he said it.
“no, newt. you have to stay.” nick urged. they were roughly the same height, but nick held him by the shoulders, as if he was telling a child to stay put. “you’re strong enough for this.”
“but—” newt began to protest, but something in nick’s eyes stopped him. it was a resolute glint, a silent promise that told newt he was ready for whatever lay ahead. he sighed, his gaze steady and unwavering. “just… be careful. we need you here.”
“godspeed, nick.” the older boy managed a slight smile of reassurance in return, and it was entirely convincing.
“godspeed.”
the next morning, when the runners returned, their faces were grim, shadows of dread darkening their features. they brought news that shattered the fragile calm of the glade: the greenie and nick were gone, both lost to the depths below the cliff, swallowed by the endless dark. the weight of the revelation settled in alby’s stomach like lead, heavy and suffocating.
then alby’s mind decided to play a cruel joke on him, and remind him of his last words he said to the boy.
“fuck you, nick”
the burden of leadership settled on alby, growing heavier and more suffocating with each passing day. it felt like a chain wrapped around his chest, every link forged from fear, loss, and the crushing weight of responsibility. he never even had the chance to mourn nick; instead, he was thrust into the relentless demands of the glade. in response, alby tightened his grip on the rules, each one becoming more unyielding than the last—a desperate attempt to impose order on the chaos that threatened to engulf them. fear, frustration, and regret pulsed beneath his harsh exterior, driving his rigid demeanor. yet, no matter how hard he tried, he could never shake the feeling that nick would have handled each challenge with more grace and strength than he ever could.
alby tried his hardest to maintain a cold front, to mimic nick’s confidence but without the warmth that made even a little bit convincing. he buried his emotions beneath a layer of indifference, convinced that this detachment would protect him from further hurt. but newt could see through it all, sensing the vulnerability lurking just beneath the surface.
one night, the weight of it all became too much to bear. alby found himself in a heated argument with newt, the air thick with tension, crackling like the charged atmosphere before a storm. newt’s patience, usually boundless, had worn thin, fraying at the edges. he confronted alby, voice sharp with a rare emotion—anger that simmered between them.
“can’t you see, alby? you’re killin’ yourself, killin’ all of us with this. yeah, nick’s gone, but that doesn’t mean you gotta act like him!” newt’s words struck like a blow, and alby felt a surge of defensiveness rise within him.
the mention of nick’s name was sent like a spike to his chest, shattering the fragile control he clung to. “you think i want this, newt? you think i’ve loved everything i’ve done since i got here? after george, after stephan, after… after all of them… after nick… you really think i wanted to lead? like this?” the bitterness in his voice hung in the air, a testament to the grief that had become his constant companion.
newt’s expression softened as alby’s voice broke, his anger giving way to something raw. “then why do you keep doing this to yourself?” newt’s voice was a quiet, painful plea, filled with a concern that pierced through alby’s defenses.
“because if i don’t then there’d no point to it all,” alby’s voice cracked, the weight of his resolve slipping like sand through his fingers. “the glade leaves no room for the weak.” he looked down, his eyes welling with unshed tears, his voice barely a whisper. “but i’m so tired. tired of all the blood on my hands, tired of wishing nick was here.” he swallowed hard, fighting back the wave of emotion that threatened to drown him, his voice lowering to a choked whisper. “the last thing i said to him…” he couldn’t finish te sentence, but newt knew exactly what he was trying to say. “i can’t let that be for nothing…” he looked out onto the east wall, the tall gaping doors shut tightly as endless shrieks echoed from beyond them. “i can’t let him down again.”
newt placed a steady hand on alby's shoulder, unsure of what to say or if he should say anything at all. the silence between them weighed heavily, laden with unspoken words and emotions. alby shook his head, unable to accept the comfort; the warmth of newt’s hand felt foreign against his skin. he couldn’t let go, couldn’t afford to be weak. “i loved him like a brother,” he murmured, his voice thick with the weight of everything he wished he said instead of those two, meaningless words. “but that’s a luxury we can’t afford here. we’re fighting to survive, and emotions… emotions just get in the way.”
“but it’s what makes us human,” newt whispered and nicks words replayed in their heads.
sometimes you need to remember you’re human or else what’s left of you won’t be worth saving.
“if you ain’t scared,” alby said, “you ain’t human. act any different, and i’d throw you off the cliff because it’d mean you’re a psycho.”
it had barely been a week since the greenie arrived, and everything that could possibly go wrong had. alby had gotten stung, the pain still fresh in his mind, but it was the memories that haunted him most. images surged back—twisted faces, the ruined world beyond the maze, the dread clawing at his sanity. he felt the weight of what lay outside the glade: a nightmare world filled with unimaginable horrors, one far worse than the maze itself. it consumed him, this fear, growing heavier and more suffocating with each passing day.
one night, alby reached his breaking point. the glade was no longer a safe haven, and the maze was no longer the most terrifying place on earth; but instead became a chance of escape, a way to silence the chaos beyond all the walls. he found himself wandering toward it, his steps slow and heavy yet resolute. the sounds of the grievers echoed through the night, a haunting melody that called to him. for him, it was the only release he could find from the burden of his thoughts.
“we shouldn’t have come,” alby said, his voice barely breaking through the silence, sounding strangely distant amidst the hollow echoes of the maze walls.
thomas felt some sense of irritation rise within him. they wasn’t in the mood for whining. “we’d be no better off in the homestead. hate to say it, but if one of us dies, that’s better than all of us.” the weight of those words pressed heavily on him. facing the grievers up close was a reality check that struck him like a punch to the gut. with their numbers, and the possibility of losing most of their people, could they really fight them all?
a long moment hung between them, thick with tension, before alby’s voice broke the silence again. “maybe i should…” he trailed off, his gaze drifting toward the cliff, moving forward slowly, as if he were in a trance.
“alby,” newt whispered, grabbing a hold of the boys arm. he knew what the boy planned on doing before he even began to speak. “please… don’t.”
alby met newt’s gaze, and he could see the struggle in the blonde’s eyes as he fought back tears that threatened to spill over. a rush of fear gripped newt’s heart as he looked at alby. recently, every time he laid eyes on the older boy, memories of george, of stephan, of nick surged to the forefront of his mind. that day he had let nick go alone, and it had cost him everything. the thought of losing alby too made newt lose his mind.
“then let me go with you,” newt urged, desperation lacing his voice. he had uttered those same words before, and each word felt like a lead weight dragging him down. deep down, he knew alby would never let him to go—the same way nick hadn’t. “please… don’t go alone.”
the plea broke through the alby’s haze, and he could see the dread etched in newt’s eyes, the understanding that losing him was inevitable and there was nothing the poor boy could do about it. “you have to stay, newt.” his voice was low, weary, almost weak, but there was a raw honesty in his words that felt like a revelation. “you’re strong enough for this.” newt had heard those words before, too.
for a brief moment, newt’s expression faltered, tears pooling in his eyes as he was reminded of nick. “but what if you need me? what if—”
“i need you here,” alby interrupted, his voice resolute, as firm and as stubborn as it had always been.
the silence that followed felt like an eternity. newt felt like a kid again—utterly helpless. he finally exhaled, trembling as he released alby’s arm. “godspeed, alby” newt murmured, his voice cracking as he spoke the words he had said only once before. a painful ache settled in his throat as he let his tears fall, the moment feeling hauntingly familiar—it was nick all over again.
newt swallowed hard, fists clenched tightly at his sides as he began to walk back. alby turned around, his gaze drawn to the world below, a lump forming in his throat. he felt the distance between them—between himself and newt—stretching as deep as the chasm of the cliff. but this time, he welcomed it.
"i don't deserve thissss," the little boy whispered, wrinkling his nose as he poked at the broccoli on his plate.
“eric, honey, don’t play with your food,” his mother chided softly, her warm smile dimpling her cheeks as she leaned over him, brushing his unruly curls out of his eyes.
eric huffed, pushing his fork against the vegetable once more as if he could make it disappear with sheer willpower. “but why does it have to be broccoliiiii?”
his mom chuckled, her laughter like a soft melody. “because broccoli helps you grow big and strong. and you’ll need it—someday, you’ll be off changing the world.”
she always told him things like that, speaking with a certainty he didn’t fully understand. but her voice made him feel safe, like he’d be okay no matter where he went or what happened. she ruffled his hair and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. “just trust me, alright? one day, the world'll try to change you, and we need you big and stong so you can fight it.”
“fight the world?” he mumbled sarcastically, still squirming in his chair. but he grinned back at her, his little world as secure as it had ever been.
"fight the world," his mother said with an unmatched certainty.
but as the days passed, the boy began to notice small changes—mom’s worried glances, the long, quiet conversations she'd have with people he’d never seen before. one day, they told him it was time to go, that he had a special purpose, a place he belonged. confused, but filled with a strange excitement, he went along with them, holding onto his mother’s words, hoping she was right.
the fluorescent lights of the wicked centre cast a harsh glow over everything, leaving no corner untouched by the sterile, cold light. thomas sat against the wall of the beetle bug room, having just come out of it. his hands were trembling, gaze vacant, fixed on something only he could see. his face was drawn, shadows under his eyes so deep it looked like he hadn’t slept in days.
“tommy?”
thomas glanced at him, just briefly, his face a mask of something chuck couldn’t decipher. it was the kind of look that only came from seeing things no one should have to see, especially alone. thomas’s face was pale, his jaw clenched tight, and he looked a little bit like he was holding himself together with sheer force of will.
chuck hesitated, nervous but feeling a stubborn urge to be there for him, even if he didn’t understand why. “did… did something happen?” he asked, his voice small. he tried to keep it light, to keep his tone from betraying the growing fear inside him. nothing good ever comes from that room.
thomas’s gaze softened a little as he looked at chuck, his expression flickering, almost like he was seeing chuck from far away. he didn’t respond at first, his eyes dropping to the floor, his fists clenching and unclenching. “chuck, it’s… it’s nothing,” he mumbled finally, his voice heavy with a weight chuck couldn’t quite understand. “you don’t need to worry about it.”
but chuck’s frown deepened. he shuffled closer, glancing up at him with a determination beyond his years. “i can tell it’s not nothing, thomas,” he insisted, a shaky confidence in his voice. “whatever it is, you don’t gotta carry it by yourself. you know that, right?”
for a moment, thomas almost laughed—a quiet, humourless sound. chuck’s simple words, the raw sincerity in his voice, cut through his resolve in a way that was almost painful. it was like looking at something pure, something untainted by all the horrors he’d seen. and part of him wanted to keep it that way, to shield chuck from the ugliness of the world.
he took a shaky breath, finally meeting chuck’s eyes, forcing a small, strained smile. “thanks, chuck. really,” he said softly. “i mean it.”
chuck nodded, his face full of that relentless trust, and he gave thomas a tentative, lopsided grin. “hey… you’ll be okay, dude.”
thomas managed a nod, the words bringing him a measure of comfort, if only for chuck’s sake. and as they sat together, he felt some of the weight lift—not entirely, but enough to let him breathe again, just a little.
chuck’s mind was a blur, half-processing the chaos around him. the wicked center felt too bright, too sharp, like everything was more real than it had any right to be. he couldn’t stop staring at gally. he looked different somehow, like he was… trapped. his hands shook, his face pale, and his eyes—they were red-rimmed, hollow, like he was fighting some unseen force. chuck felt his heart twist in confusion and dread.
gally’s hand reached behind him, drawing something from his pocket. a glint caught chuck’s eye—the flash of a silver blade, deadly and sharp, gleaming in the harsh light. before chuck could make sense of what was happening, gally’s arm moved back, then shot forward in one swift, fluid motion, hurling the knife across the room. it happened so fast, but somehow, in that frozen second, chuck saw everything.
he saw the knife spinning toward thomas, and without a second thought, he threw himself in front of his friend. time slowed, but his fear didn’t; it pounded through him, raw and fierce, and then, with a sickening thud, the blade found its target.
pain blossomed through his chest, ripping the breath from him. his body dropped to the ground, a strange numbness creeping over him, even as warmth began to pool beneath him. he tried to breathe, but each gasp was wet, choked, and he tasted something metallic and sharp. blood.
thomas was there, pulling him close, his face twisted in horror, and chuck could feel his friend’s hands shaking as they tried to stop the bleeding. thomas’s voice was muffled, as though it was coming from far away, and chuck struggled to focus, to hold onto something. but the pain was getting stronger, pulling him under.
“thom... mas,” he managed to whisper, each word a struggle, as darkness began to seep into the edges of his vision.
he felt a familiar ache that had nothing to do with the knife, a yearning for something he’d never had. “find… my mom,” he choked out, barely able to form the words. he wanted her to know he’d done something good, that he’d protected someone, even if it meant he didn’t make it. “tell her…” maybe, maybe if she knew—that he fought.
and then, with a deep, aching certainty, the thought came to him.
"don't mass reblog/like :/" coward. fool. somebody just went through and liked and reblogged 64 things from my blog in the span of half an hour at most. and i've never felt more alive in my life
do u right for luke castellan? if u do can u write some fluff for himmm? thank u, love ur writing
why | luke castellan
“if you want to stay as the counsellor of your cabin, you’re going to have to work harder,” mr. d said, leaning back in his chair with a smirk.
“i’m sorry,” you deadpanned, frustration creeping into your voice. “what?”
chiron rolled his eyes at dionysus. “it’s nothing personal,” he replied dismissively. “we appreciate your efforts—”
“we just know that you can do better,” mr. d interrupted.
luke stood just outside the door, waiting for you, when he overheard the conversation. he didn’t think much of it, except for how wrong both chiron and mr. d were.
what surprised him the most was the meek, tired “yes, sir,” that slipped from your lips on the other side of the door.
as your boyfriend, luke has had the opportunity to watch you up close as you hustle through camp, over-organising activities, making sure every camper is accounted for. you’re always on the move, practically running the place, and sometimes he wonders if you ever take a minute to breathe. your dedication is impressive, no doubt, but it hurts him to see you wear yourself down with every unnecessary list, every forced smile you give chiron, and each desperate attempt to hold everything together on your own.
today is no different, of course. the kids are out exploring, their laughter echoing in the distance, while you sit at one of the empty tables with a can of soda, sluggishly jotting down yet another mundane task for the afternoon.
“hey, camper,” you say, barely looking up from your notebook as you take a sip of your strawberry soda.
“come,” he says, but it’s not really a question.
“what?” you glance up, surprise flickering in your eyes as he gently places a hand on your arm, urging you to stand.
“you heard me.” with one hand, he closes your notebook and tucks it under his arm, then grabs your can of soda and takes a sip.
“but—the kids?” you protest, frowning.
“eh. they won’t miss you.” he flashes you a grin, and with a stifled chuckle escaping you, the two of you make your way over to the empty dock, settling down with your legs dangling over the edge.
“how are you?” luke questions, you watch the way his slim waist slumps as he stretched his hands out behind him. “and i mean really.”
“good. haven’t gotten the chance to talk to you in a while though,” you smile, watching your reflection in the water beneath you.
“why?” the boy asked. you paused. there was a look in your eye as you went over your answer, a look that luke would never forget. you never thought of why exactly you’ve been busy all summer. probably because the answer seemed obvious to you.
“i’m working, luke?” you say, though you sound unsure. “why do you ask?”
the wood is warm beneath you as you stare out into the lake. you could see a group of campers staggered around the edges of the lake, a few taking a moment to dip into the coolness of the water. luke was leaned back on his hands, a lazy smile on his face as he watches the way your lips curl up at the sight of your kids.
“mr. d wasn’t the best this morning during senior council…” luke started, carefully watching the way your face twisted for your reaction. “i don’t know, i guess i get surprised when you let things like that slide.”
“what’s this?” you ask, raising an eyebrow as you turn to look at him. he looks almost unreal in the warm light of the setting sun, the golden rays casting a soft glow on the side of his face, making his eyes seem to shine just for you. he was a demigod for sure.
“an intervention,” he jokes, a hint of mischief in his tone.
you roll your eyes, but he doesn’t miss how the sunlight catches in your hair, turning it a soft gold. it’s a moment, a second of reluctance that tells him to think twice before he continues this conversation with you.
“look,” he says, his tone shifting slightly. he sat up straighter, his eyes never leaving yours, “i’ve noticed you’ve been working your ass off lately; more than most of us. so why’d you just take that shit from mr. d?”
for a minute, all you could do was stare at him, and all he could do was stare at you. he took note of how the meat on your bones seemed to lessen over the course of the summer, how your tired eyes sunk into your rosy cheeks, and how your lips glossed over with the same lip gloss you had since the sixth grade.
“i know… what it sounds like—” you start, but he cuts you off.
“do you even like being a counsellor?”
“of course, i do,” you say with no hesitation, your eyes hardening as you sounded slightly offended.
his expression softens, concern flickering across his face. “look, baby, i know it’s none of my business how you choose to waste your time, but you barely even sleep anymore.”
you take so much shit from chiron and mr. d and you never even once go against their orders, we haven’t had time alone since before summer, and you give so much of your time to people who don’t deserve it… i know that nobody asked you this before,”
“but do you ever wonder why?”
the question hangs between you, and for a moment, you’re silent, caught off guard by the honesty in his voice. you look down at your hands, playing with the edges of your shorts. “why what?” you knew ‘why what.’
“why are you like this?” he prompts, holding eye contact.
“because…” you sigh, searching for the right words. “i don’t know… but chiron—”
“forget chiron,” he replies softly as he takes your hand in his. “you’re his best counsellor. he was probably just messing with you, sweetheart.”
you meet his gaze, and for the first time, you realise how much weight you’ve been holding. you sigh, looking at him; his eyes never leave yours.
“maybe you’re right,” you say slowly.
“of course, i’m right,” he scoffs, a smirk creeping onto his face, but the warmth in his eyes makes you want to kiss the smug look right off of it.
“big talk for a hermes, castellan,” you challenge, leaning in closer with a playful grin.
luke smirks, quick to respond. “that’s not the only big thing, baby.”
you can’t help but laugh, the sound ringing out like music in the morning air. it’s the hardest you’ve laughed since before summer camp, and in that moment, you realised just how much you’ve missed this.
