just a little alcohol-producing bacteria (which is cool because producing alcohol is mostly the domain of yeasts and not bacteria but Iām special like that)
okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where heās going to be a sex pest, namely: āDo you know where the term āblow jobā comes from?ā
and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!
his second error: approaching a little autistic freak with what he intended to be an uncomfortable sex question that would make me feel weird and gross. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I Have Never Misjudged A Manās Intentions So Incredibly In My Life. because i did not realize he was trying to harass me. because i love talking about sex facts, albeit not usually at work. unless. someone prompts me. my coworkers are the kind of people who are generally online enough to know terms, but not exactly what they mean, and they realized they could ask me a while back and get good answers without the resulting awkwardness because i do not experience shame. i am primed to answer questions like the one he has proposed.
So I Answered It.
and well, really, what happened is that I began answering it, then realized the answer required a bit more context. I mean, you canāt just say āoh, well, the term first appears in writing in the 1940sā without first explaining that āblowā by itself already had sexual connotations for centuries, and then, really, are we talking about the origin of the term or the origin of the act. and well we have a ton of literature and art depicting fellatio throughout human history, did you know a lot of it was men performing it on other men? oh, that reminds me, there are a multitude of latin words for oral sex performed on penises, and hold on let me quote you the entirety of catullus 16 from memory and explain itās fascinating insights into the roman world of homosexuality-
i do not know how to turn any of this ^ off, by the way. iām sure some people out there have a switch that disables their infodumping mid-speech. i do not. and i also didnāt realize he wasnāt looking for a real answer until my other coworker explained so hours later. he could not excuse himself from the conversation he started, and i made a conservative man at least 30 years older than me to listen to my catullus recitation. i will sodomize and facefuck you, indeed.
anyway, i think i got a bad grade in being sexually harassed. my pro tip is maybe donāt start with what a very autistic individual will misconstrue as you earnestly asking them to explain sex to you. the special interest shield will cause splashback damage.
just found out I'm going to be reincarnated into a single sprig of grain. barley apparently. Not cool man. I didn't even know plants was an option on the table. this is bullshit
this is probably my favorite tiktok of all time and I finally got around to showing it to my dad the other day and now he comes home every day and tells me about all the places he saw crumbling concrete and says "guess they didn't add enough chinchilla flakes"
My dad has worked in construction is whole life, primarily with a company that does concrete foundations, and I immediately sent him this back when I first found it on TikTok, and he IMMEDIATELY shared it with everyone he worked with. They apparently still quote it on his job sites to this day.
has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting āzuccedā aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like āhe got unalived by a pew pewā were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isnāt corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow weāve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we canāt have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull
i have a friend who has kinda bad eczema on their right hand but their left hand is fine and thats because acidity makes eczema worse and that includes vaginal acidity and my friend is both a lesbian and a slut so they finger a lot of people and that fucks up the hand they use (their right hand). Anyways do you think BBC sherlock would deduce that by looking at my friendās hands
many many can not extrapolate from the existence of a slogan to the idea that a more complicated policy position must exist. They hear ban cars and abolish the police and just? immediately assume the second half is āand replace it with nothing, put no resources into alternatives, do zero research, just get rid of these things and see what happensā
surely the most productive and intelligent way to do politicis is to simply repeat easily misunderstood or misrepresented slogans and never explain the actual policy position behind it, lecturing anyone who doesn't immediately imagine exactly what you imagine the slogan to mean. surely this will not leave rhetorical space for bad faith representations of your slogans!
Of course, this all presumes there is an actual policy position behind the sloganeering, which is wonderfully generous.
Just as an example, a series of policies I have all seen described as "land back" by supporters of "land back", none of which agree with each other.
We need to give all the land back. All of it. All land anywhere outside of Europe and Asia must be under indigenous ownership and/or governance and nobody else gets a say because it's not their ancestral land. Deportation optional.
2. What? How dare you assume I meant that. By "land back" I mean all forestry, fisheries, and agriculture must be managed through traditional indigenous methods. Indigenous people must be given a measure of control over land use to ensure this, not ownership or financial interests.
3. What? The problem is that indigenous peoples have been cheated out of the value of the land. We don't need to directly give them more land or more control; by "land back" I mean we should set aside a portion of general tax revenue as no-strings-attached transfer payments to indigenous governments and let them decide how to use it. They shouldn't have direct control of how anyone else uses the land, just a financial stake.
4. What? The problem is that reserves are tiny and by "land back" I do literally mean we should give indigenous people more land. Just not, like, all of it.
5. Hello! British Columbia here! Unlike large parts of Canada and the United States, the indigenous nations here never signed a treaty or surrender document officially ceding their land to the Crown. By "land back" I mean that under current law various nations and bands already have rights to more land in various regions, and we should work smoothly to solve the legal question of which land belongs to which nation and which belongs to the Crown.
6. Hello! I'm an environmentalist with no stake in indigenous self-governance or land ownership. I was going to protest this dam/mine/logging/pipeline anyway, but also I found half a dozen indigenous people who also don't like it so woo! Land Back Baby! You can't build here because it's not yours! (Nevermind the elected chiefs saying, "What? This project is great for our band!" I've decided they're sell-outs)
This is why it's important to say what you mean. You can't assume that anyone who finds one post you've made with a slogan knows the slogan's entire history and your stance and definition in particular. Especially when the policy you mean is not actually described by the slogan? Like I would never in a million years assume that someone saying "land back" meant "transfer payments from general revenue" if I had not seen someone explicitly state that was their definition earlier this month.
This goes for all sloganeering of course, not just land back. Land Back is just an interesting example because of the diversity of different things people mean when they say it. A lot of others are more on a sliding scale so it's more a matter of trying to sus out to what degree the sloganeer wants <slogan> done rather than what they want.
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