[sigillums]

“In the pursuit of great we failed to do good. We have to make it right.”

[rinadragomir]

GLORIOUS EVOLUTION✨

[medieval-atkinson]

youre honour, im in love

[waylands-workshop]

We appreciate Viktor in this house

[memewhore]

[hymnofvalefor]

[comrade-bastard-deactivated2024]

[cannibalcomputer]

[jackscarab]

[timeistethered]

Crypto: *activates an EMP blast, but Pathfinder is caught in its radius and gets damaged by accident*

Crypto's mind: trying to decide between saying 'Are you okay' or 'I'm fucking sorry'

Crypto: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?

Pathfinder: why, friend-

[perfectlyidiotic]

Mirage: Sugar Daddy

Lifeline: Sugar Mama

Bloodhound: Glucose Guardian

[revsloincloth]

Hey Apex Fans

Caustic is not automatically a homophobe or transphobe just because he’s a cis white male

He’s evil murder science man but he has standards

Period 💅☕️

[unluckycait]

absolutely no one is gonna mention that height diff is kinda cute doe 😳😳💓

[ohanaya]

[gearyoak]

if you use the charge rifle i’m legally obligated to rip you to fucking pieces and wear you like shoes

[dougs-meat]

I’m in desperate need for more apex content on my dashboard, so please like/reblog if you blog about this addicting game, especially including the following:

- crypto (cryptage, cryptane, crypthound)

- octane (mirtane, bloodtane)

- mirage (miragehound + the ones above duh)

- lifelore 

- dark spark (wraith/wattson) 

as you can tell I’m a multishipper lol

[bisexuanal]

I hate men so much they literally are like this. Purposeful incompetence to avoid responsibilities they don’t want …………… the comments on this post on fb were So bad

[patrickat]

Save the leftovers. Throw the whole man out.

[runcibility]

Imagine being this fucking petty over a reasonable request to do even a fraction of the share of housework, and thinking you’re a good partner. Makes you understand how so many dudes can be clueless and full of shit on so many other topics, too.

[smitethestate]

I hope his wife poured a glass of spaghetti and gulped it slowly while making steady eye contact with him as her lawyer presented the divorce papers.

[soryualeksi]

“Haha, that’ll TEACH my wife!!”

Dude, you’re supposed to LOVE her. I hope she sees this and dumps your worthless ass. While she has that glass of spaghetti.

[january-warlock]

#marie kondo your marriage

[bloodytales]

Don’t put up with stupid. If your husband or boyfriend does this may I suggest… well… treating him like the idiot he pretends to be? Use it as a “teaching moment.”

“Honey come here. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you didn’t know what Tupperware you have to use. Here, let me explain every container we have. That way the next time you have to put food away you know which container to use.”

And then proceed, in excruciating detail, which containers are which, what they are used for, the correct lids, and how to put on the lids. Do it in as condescending voice as possible.

If he tries to say that he knows, or tries to stop you in any way, just calmly say, “no, you shouldn’t be embarrassed by this. It’s okay to admit you don’t know how to do something. Next time just ask, sweetie.” And continue in as much inane detail as possible.

If he tries this bullshit again, pat him on the head, and say “good try, but let’s review” and then do it all over again.

[rattlung]

sorry this took so long! it kinda got away from me after a bit (it’s like 6k words so i’m rlly hoping this read more works on mobile lmao) and turned into a lot of introspection, as my stuff often does when it comes to mirage for some reason. hope you enjoy :^) and ty for sending smth in

(yeah ik mystik keeping in contact through fuckin fan mail is a bit of a stretch especially since crypto mentions burning letters, implying communication through paper, but it was the only thing i could come up with and i didn’t want this to take longer than necessary. just kinda shrug it off because at this point - eh yknow??? the letter mirage comes across is based off the one crypto sends to mystik in the loading screen with him and gibby

also, i looked up a ton of different sites and even checked the wiki but i’m still nervous about crypto’s name and how to write it properly. if i’m still doing it wrong, please please PLEASE let me know. i will literally rewrite this entire thing lmao)

established relationship kinda idk and also set in a kinda canon divergent au where the games hold seasons that last a few months with set teams

—-=—-

Despite popular belief, Elliott was a smart guy. He lived and studied under his mother, an amazing engineer in her own right, and even had a huge part in the development of some of the tech he used in the arena. It’s just that, sometimes, even he forgot about his own intelligence. Standing next to his fellow legends, it was like any confidence he had left in one fell swoop. He would stutter under their gazes and second guess himself on anything he said the second he said it. It’s something he’d always berate himself on later when he’s alone in his dorm where no one could see him.

Because he was smart. He’d tell himself that when he looked at his own smiling face, as surrounded as he was by it. Apex merch, some fanart, some cutouts they had stood up in stores he’d been sent. Elliott would stare at it all and remind himself that Mirage in the media was who he was. He’d gotten to legend status on his own, and that wasn’t something to write off. He was as intelligent as the rest of them, he just needed to remember that.

Though, admittedly, it did take Elliott a good minute to realize that the message he’d been sent wasn’t for him.

Keep reading

[sinningplumpprincess]

Winner Winner Porkchop Dinner

Cryptage commission for @cotton-kaendi ! The premises is that Crypto and Mirage are set up on a blind date, with neither knowing that it was each other. Rivalry COULD have gotten in the way, if Elliott wasn’t too fucking pretty for his own good.

And ofc, ends with bottom Crypto getting his shit wrecked.

Enjoy.

Relationship: Crypto/Mirage

Fandom: Apex legends

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, both Crypto and Mirage are cis, anal sex/fingering, Crypto being a bottom baby, tears, overstimulation, fucking on the floor, oral, deep throating, ya know the works! Also with Crypto In Love with Elliott, ya welcome.

Words: 3.2K

Dating for legends was rather difficult. In a world that saw you as stars, people could become rather obsessive. Crypto was no stranger to the ‘starstruck’ vision upon seeing a legend. He had been one of the people who had set up the drones to broadcast them all fighting, after all. It was no different to him to pick and choose favorites.

Except now he WAS a legend. Walked among them the same way they walked with him. Partners or rivals, it didn’t matter.

Dating, again, for legends was rather difficult- and yet, Elliott Witt, better known as ‘Mirage’, famous trickster of the arena. Well, he got along just fine.

Or so he had made it seem.

Elliott talked a big game. Had a big mouth, for that matter. Talked about both men and women he could charm, even those who fit neither category. Last, of which, he boasted whilst making finger gun motions at Bloodhound who had waved him off with a ‘shoo’ motion as if he was a horny dog.

Something Crypto thought to be rather amusing when the flirty legend had pouted in response.

Being among them all, he’s learned they’re all much like a family. Romance could blossom between specific people within their circle, he’d seen it himself with Wraith eyeing Anita from across a room. Only to look away the second the woman’s eyes looked back at him and he’d pretended he’d never seen her looking.

Because loving while being part of this bloodied sport wasn’t an option. To stay available and don’t let feelings get in the way of how brutally they could kill each other. Only to wake up again like it never happened, except now you hold a grudge in your heart for the pain one caused you.

All for sport- entertainment.

Keep reading

[shes-fast-like-me]

i should write more lol

[0rionbby]

same 🥺

[trashyoctopus]

I told my Caustic and Wraith friends whom were crouching next to eachother to look at my drone, and now it just looks like Crypto took a cute picture of them.