@theartofmadeline
titsay
macklin celebrini has autism
★
Monterey Bay Aquarium
YOU ARE THE REASON
will byers stan first human second
No title available
Noah Kahan
The Stonewall Inn
Fai_Ryy
Sweet Seals For You, Always
NASA
EXPECTATIONS
oozey mess
Origami Around
Cosimo Galluzzi
sheepfilms
RMH
bliss lane
seen from Netherlands
seen from Malaysia
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Türkiye
seen from Jordan
seen from Morocco
seen from Lithuania
seen from Peru
seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from United States
seen from Iraq
seen from Chile
seen from Malaysia
seen from Brazil
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Canada
seen from Brazil
seen from Yemen
@100daysofsober
Together They Both Get Grey
It is magically September, and mid-September at that! It’s a calm, cloudy 72 this afternoon but I’m already contemplating pulling out my Halloween decorations. If it were up to me they would be out all year round! I’ve been in my head mostly, and not putting pen to paper (fingers to keys?) quite as frequently. While this blog started out as way to document my sobriety, it has transformed into…
View On WordPress
All My Little Words
All My Little Words
I’m showing up today with a much better attitude. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of those seductive negative thoughts! I need a moment-to-moment reminder that ‘this too shall pass’. Today is Tuesday. It’s gloomy, rainy and thunderstorms are predicted and I can’t wait! Fall is coming and with it comes massive changes in my personal life. I’m embarking on a new career, continually…
View On WordPress
Hotels on the Moon
Hotels on the Moon
It’s July now, almost August, actually. Where has the time gone? Personally, about 20% has been job-hunting, music-making and running. Lots of running. This brings me to the other 80% of my time, which has been spent on my eating disorder. I’m exhausted. I’m confused. I don’t understand how I’ve gotten to this point where food is terrifying, my body doesn’t feel like my own and every decision I…
View On WordPress
A New Point Of View
A New Point Of View
I was walking home from the grocery store yesterday and I passed a Thai place that had a sandwich board out front. The board was advertising their happy hour and for the first time in WHO KNOWS how long, I thought, “I could use a drink!” It made me shake my head and ask myself, why? I deduced that it was the grocery store excursion. Anorexia makes grocery shopping An Event. An event that I have…
View On WordPress
Talking to the Walls
Talking to the Walls
Today is a therapy day. I’m supposed to disclose my weight to my therapist and it’s caused quite the uproar in my brain this past week. He wants to get some other professionals involved and make this more of a “team effort”. There are so many things I need to do to fix all of this, but I feel powerless. I feel rooted. When I quit drinking, I struggled with my routine. I craved the sweet release…
View On WordPress
There's No Prize
There’s No Prize
I can’t decipher what I look like. I am also acutely aware that I cannot trust myself to make that judgement, which is a strange phenomenon to grasp. Self reflection conundrum. I’ve not written much because I’m at a loss for words. I write in the tiny spiral-bound notebook in my oversized tote bag on a regular basis, but it’s not substantial. In spite of the fact that I’ve filled three of…
View On WordPress
Punching Pinholes
Excitement abounds! I have no trouble recollecting the adventures that last weekend brought, and I have much to look forward as we roll into the upcoming weekend. I’ve been working on being more present. It is my tendency to dwell on negative thoughts that leaves me trapped in a cage of my own making. So, last weekend, instead of curling up under the blankets and becoming a zombie, I forced…
View On WordPress
Take Heart
It’s Wednesday, but it feels like it could be any day, really. I told my therapist recently that I’ve been having trouble recalling what I’ve been up to, what my weekends have looked like – what I’ve accomplished. Normally, I have answers. I went to a movie. I had book club. I cooked an amazing dinner. We took the little dog to the dog park. We had Greek food at our favorite joint down the…
View On WordPress
Human Nature Kills
Today is absolutely positive in one respect and that is because today is Day 294 of sobriety. I look at that number and my head tilts to one side. I have been sober for almost one year. I am grateful every single day that I started down this path, and thankful that I’ve had success in sobriety. Addiction is a mixed bag, I’ve learned. My last few posts centered on FEELINGS and my incredibly…
View On WordPress
It Was Sink or Swim
It Was Sink or Swim
Time has passed quite quickly! It is already December – how did that happen? It was inevitable, I guess. Thanksgiving came and went and I managed to still have a wonderful time without drinking. I feel like that shouldn’t surprise me at this stage in the game, and yet it does every single time! I like that it still surprises me. It means that I will continue to have things to look forward to, and…
View On WordPress
This Emotion Is An Ocean
This Emotion Is An Ocean
Yesterday I had my weekly therapy appointment, or so I thought. Apparently our wires were crossed, and I ended up sitting alone in the waiting area well past my appointment time. It definitely threw me for a loop! I was meeting a friend post-appointment at the bar across the street, so I headed over there early. My brain was firing at high-speed as I stood outside of the bar, which was closed. I…
View On WordPress
Shrink the Picture Down to a Tiny Dot
Shrink the Picture Down to a Tiny Dot
Here I am, still plugging along! We are creeping further into Fall and I love it. The air is brisk, I wore mittens today and pretty soon I’ll be pulling out my winter coat. I am looking forward to a week home for Christmas and all of the lounging around it will entail. Today is Day 203. I am incredibly grateful to be at this point as we head into the Holiday Season – Thanksgiving in particular.…
View On WordPress
Prisoner of History
I’ve been off the grid for a bit. Today is Day 182! Honestly, I didn’t realize I had already reached my 180 Day goal, much less passed it. I am proud of myself for not drinking, especially these days. I’m struggling with a depression that seems to engulf a little more of me each day. I don’t dare imagine what it would be like if I were drinking on top of it! For the first time in a long time I…
View On WordPress
Self-Esteem for Purchase?
A new reality is starting to sink in, and it’s making me feel slimy and ashamed and very akin to my past drinking habits. I am shopping to fill a void. I am buying clothes, shoes, purses, coats – you name it – to make myself feel “better” when I’m not really sure I feel all that bad to begin with. It’s becoming compulsive. It’s following the trend of my drinking, too. I’m hiding how much I’m…
View On WordPress
Never Will There Be Another Summer This Slow
Never Will There Be Another Summer This Slow
Here we are: September already! This will sound cliche, but sobriety is starting to feel like a warm blanket. Autumn is my favorite season and it’s been bittersweet to reminisce about the comforts of fall’s past; hot toddy’s, Spanish coffee and spiked hot cocoa. While it’s been bittersweet to reminisce, it’s also been remarkably satisfying to find replacements. Today is Day 141 and I don’t feel…
View On WordPress
This Is How You Know You're Alive
This Is How You Know You’re Alive
I sat down to write this post 7 days ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. My first wedding sans alcohol was a sobering experience, and not just in the literal sense. Celebrating without alcohol, even at a wedding, was wonderful. I need to start trusting that whole concept! I was anxious about seating assignments and who would be at my table and all of that, but I would have been anyway.…
View On WordPress
And Life Goes On
The days are moving right along. Summer is almost over and although I love the hot weather, I love autumn more! This will be my first holiday season sans alcohol, however. I am already starting to feel anxious about it, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. This weekend I am traveling again! I am off to a wedding in the country and while I am 90% thrilled about all of it, I am 10% wary…
View On WordPress