[10pm-cookies]

The worst feeling is when you are horribly, desperately homesick, but you don't know where, who, or what is home.

[10pm-cookies]

I have a collection of random spoken-word style stuff saved to my notes, so here's a rough unfinished one cuz it's been too long since I've posted here.

Everything from my past

Is like a noose around my neck

And every step forward

Two steps back

Pull it tighter and tighter

And one day I won't be able to

Breathe

Just breathe

I tell myself over and over

And maybe one day it'll work

Maybe one day I'll be free

To live my life and clearly see

That this burden doesn't define me

But some days I feel like I'm already

Six Feet Under

[metamorphesque]

— Susan Sontag, Death Kit

[text ID: How can I describe my life to you? I think a lot, listen to music. I’m fond of flowers.]

[10pm-cookies]

I know I can't save everyone, but I'll be damned if I don't keep trying until I'm six feet under.

[10pm-cookies]

What can I say to make you believe me? I won't leave you. I'll be here tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that, for forever and a day. I won't be like them - you're too good for that. You deserve the world, and I'd give it to you if only you'd let me. I didn't mean to push you away. I really didn't. I hope I can fix that without letting my own emotions get in the way. You're a diamond in the rough, and I'm going to hold on to you for a while yet. Just you wait.

[10pm-cookies]

Me: my ideal schedule would be to get up at sunrise, just a good rhythm with nature

Also me: *wakes up at noon*

[cooperhoward]

i just found out merriam webster has a time traveler feature that tells you some of the words that were “born” the same year as you. it’s pretty neat yall should do this

[xpyu]

new tag yourself game: pick 3 words “born” in ur year that describe u. im geocaching, dark web and abandonware

[carolxdanvers]

Air quotes, helicopter parent, and showrunner

[thunderzizi]

borked, neurodiverse, uhhhh…thumb drive?

[10pm-cookies]

Dreamer, sapiosexual, and I guess roentgenium

[writing-prompt-s]

“Name one reason I can’t run for president.” “You’re a colony of parasitic worms puppeting a human skeleton.” “It’s only a plastic skeleton.”

[10pm-cookies]

One of my favorites in a while

[10pm-cookies]

There's a million things I would tell you if only I knew how to put them into words.

[10pm-cookies]

I can't tell if I want to write these feelings into an album of songs or enough prose poetry to fill a book. Only one requires me to keep learning guitar though so there's that

[10pm-cookies]

Scars

You've asked me why I'm still willing to love you after everything that you've told me about yourself and your past. And I've tried to explain it--something about the best people are the ones that have gone through the worst things. But I've been thinking about it more, and I wanted to write out exactly what it is.

Everyone has their own personal hell. Some people are lucky enough that they never have to set foot in it. Others, not so much. I've seen through the cracks of yours, the little bits and pieces you've shared. And I know for a fact that I haven't seen it all. I know there are parts of you that you hold close to your chest, even if you don't know it yourself. And I don't mind. I don't need to know every piece of you to know that I love you. I love you, and that means I love all of you. Including the parts that have come from your trip through hell. You've been burned. I know--I have too. And all of those burns, they haven't disappeared. I wouldn't expect them to. But what they have done is turned into scars. Scars can be ugly--and from what I've gathered, you think yours are, at least to some degree. But I think that, even if they're a little rough around the edges, your scars are beautiful. Because scars mean that you've healed. And I think that's a gorgeous thing.

[10pm-cookies]

I've found that when I'm tired, and for the most part content, my mind starts to mull over memories of you. These memories aren't specific like other ones; it's almost like they have a langue of their own. These are sensory memories. The sound of your voice, the smell of clear, salty mountain air, the feeling of your hand in mine, the prefect color of your eyes, the taste of cookies baked after midnight. I've found that these memories are where the strongest feelings like to reside. The few other sensory memories I have are full of emotion. I try to pull this love and emotion and perfect happiness to the current moment like a tug of war with my past, and sometimes I win. Sometimes I can almost feel, hear, see what I did then. And that's where I find true contentedness, along with the knowledge that one day I won't have to cling to memories to stay afloat.

[seabeck]

Seabeck, WA

[10pm-cookies]

Our state really is perfect.

[heartofmuse]

I fell asleep in your smile and woke up in the brilliance of your eyes.

e.v.e

[10pm-cookies]

It's one of those nights, where something feels wrong, and I feel at the verge of tears. I don't know why. I want anything but to be alone. Why is it that this only happens when I have no other choice but to be alone? I'm so tired. I want to sleep, but if I put down my phone or my book or whatever other distraction it is this time, I'll start thinking. And feeling. I don't want to feel right now, not when there's nothing good to feel. I know there will be soon, and this is just something that is happening now, I'll be fine by morning. But these seconds drag into hours. Morning feels like a lifetime away, and the future I look forward to a millennia, thoroughly out of reach.

[10pm-cookies]

If you could pause your life, would you? Make everything stop except you, give yourself the time you never get? Time unfettered from the watchful eye of expectations? A chance to change things, replace things, reset things, a chance to do what you need without the everlasting rush of humanity? A moment, however long, do decompress, to think, to simply be?

[10pm-studying]

Hello, long time no see! In chemistry today we did a virtual lab using molecular model kits, and I can't help but to share some of the molecules. Can you tell what each molecule's formula is?

[10pm-cookies]

Reminder that I also have a studyblr