PAIRING: college basketball player!johnny x college basketball player!fem!reader
GENRE: fluff, university/college au, basketball au
WARNINGS: swearing, drinking, mentions of smoking, making out
SYNOPSIS: a boy asks you to play pickup basketball with him, blossoming a romance between two team captains at the same college
WORD COUNT: 4k
After the first day of your final year of university, you find yourself excited to unwind at your local outdoor basketball court. You try not to let the chilly evening air affect you, knowing you're about to work up a sweat in your tank top and shorts.
At this time, you're usually the only one at the court, so you can practice the drills the coach advises for you. As the new captain of the women's basketball team this year, you felt pressure to always be at your best, so these practice sessions will be new to your schedule.
From outside the chain fences around the court, you see a shirtless, black-haired man practicing some three-point shots. You try not to stare, but the bright lights illuminating his large arms, sculpted back, and visible abs make it hard not to. You try to focus on how good he is rather than how good he looks.
You open the door to enter the court, catching the man's attention. The two of you make eye contact, and he gives a tight-lipped smile and a nod before going back to his drills on his side of the court. You can sense he's trying not to make you uncomfortable, and get on with your practice across from him.
As you practice some shots, you don't realize that the man is watching you play as he drinks his water and leans against the pole. He felt guilty for staring at you, but he found you attractive and was entranced by the sweat glistening on your body. By staring, he realized how good you are, not missing any shots, and immediately catching your ball after it fell out of the hoop.
When you go to take your break, you plan on watching the handsome man. You pick up your bottle and raise it to your mouth while turning around, freezing when you see the man staring at you already. You try to ignore your reddening ears before taking a sip of your water, and the man seems embarrassed.
"You're really good." He loudly says, hoping you can hear him from across the court. You smile as your lips leave your water bottle. Is this his way of relieving the awkwardness?
"Thanks. You are too." You respond, and even from where you're standing, you can see the way his arm flexes as he scratches his neck and looks down.
"What do you think of playing a game of pickup?" He asks once he raises his head. You check your watch to see the time and find you have enough time.
"Yeah, that's okay! Only for one round, though." You say, and before you can ask which side, he bends down to grab his bottle and bag before coming over to you. The closer he gets, the more you can see just how tall and muscular he is. He's probably a crazy good player on his team, you think.
The man puts his stuff beside yours before looking at you again, this time much closer. "I'm Johnny, by the way." He smiles, putting his hand out for you.
You shake his hand and smile back, "I'm Y/N. You don't have to try and play nice, I can handle it. First to 12?" He agrees, surprised. She's probably a crazy good player on her team, he similarly thinks, before getting into position.
The entire game is close. The two of you only hit shots from the three-point line, trying to end the game quick. Johnny notes how you can handle the pressure he's giving you. You can see that despite his muscles, he has good technique that isn't all strength-based.
Both of you only have one more three-point line shot to hit, and Johnny has the ball. You guard him as hard as you can, coming close enough to him but not trying to have any contact. The closeness of your body distracts him, although it wasn't your intention. The slightly floral scent you give off, despite being drenched in sweat, brings him peace, and of course, he couldn't help but stare at you more.
He quietly lets out a curse when you manage to steal the ball from him and immediately make a successful fade-away shot. You jump in celebration, catching the ball and cheer "Yay!" Johnny laughs and claps for you, and the two of you shake hands again.
"You're really good, Y/N. We should play again. I hope you're not super busy." Johnny smiles as you pick up your things, and he follows suit. He really did want to see you again, but didn't want to make it obvious.
"I'm trying to practice here at this time most days, but it's gonna be hectic at school right now. I would have come earlier, but I was held back." You respond. You had to talk to the coach about basketball tryout preparations and knew you were busy next week when they actually happened.
"Yeah, school's about to be a pain in my ass these next few weeks. I had to make the most out of today." He smiled at you as he opened the chain door for you, and you thanked him.
"Why don't you give me your number? That way, we can play pickup more." You ask, grabbing your phone out of your pocket. Johnny nods and grabs his phone, happy that you asked first, so that he wouldn't have made you uncomfortable if he had asked for yours.
"Well, see you soon, Y/N." Johnny waves as he walks in the opposite direction from you, and you wave back with a big smile on your face. A smile that is still on your face when you reach your door.
Every day, the two of you text each other to play, but you haven't had the time to play together. The two of you agreed not to talk about school, as it's starting to bother you, and instead text about your hobbies, friends, and families. You and Johnny play pickup again that weekend, now having a lot of time for each other.
In each game, you couldn't keep your eyes off each other. You love watching his shiny, sweat-filled tattoo expand when he raises his arm, and he always watches your sweaty clothes cling to your body. After each round, the winner alternates, and Johnny jokes that the two of you are equally good. You'd like to ask what school he goes to and if he's on the team, but you aren't allowed to.
On Friday and Saturday, you find yourselves texting past midnight after practice. After a light game on Sunday, however, the two of you agreed to go to sleep before midnight to get ready for school.
After your evening classes, you walk towards your campus's basketball court. That morning, when you had early practice, your coach and the men's team's coach told you to meet with the men's team captain to plan a special event for both teams, now that tryouts are over and new players have been selected. You assumed it was the same team captain from last year, but you were told the men's team had changed captains as well.
You wonder if he'd be nice, knowing that most of the players in the men's team aren't the most social. You also wonder if he'd be on time. As you open the door, though, you already see a tall man practicing his shots. You assume he's the team captain. You let the door close, and it catches his attention. He turns around, and the two of you gasp once you make eye contact.
"Are you the women's team captain?" Johnny asks, smiling in disbelief as he walks towards you, the ball against his hip. It's your first time seeing him in casual clothes, which you note are stylish, rather than his usual pickup outfit of just shorts. You blush as you realize you've only ever seen him shirtless.
"I am. I can't believe we're both team captains at the same school and never realized." You respond, walking over to a bench. Johnny sits by you, leaving a little space between your thighs, slightly disappointing you. Instead of focusing on your task at hand, you ask each other, finally, about each other's school life.
You learn that both of you joined your teams in your second year, and have gone to each other's games, but never noticed. You also find out that you have a few classes together, meaning you'll definitely sit beside each other now.
"Okay, I was thinking we can throw a party at my place this Friday. Me and some of the players live in a large enough house, if that's okay with you?" Johnny asks. You find it sweet that he's willing to host the girls over, and you trust him.
"That's perfect! I can buy whatever we need, I feel bad." You unconsciously lightly pout, and Johnny tries not to widen his smile at how cute you look.
"It's no problem at all, Y/N. I wanna do this for our teams. We can go shopping together beforehand if you want." He offers, and you nod. "We can talk about it more when it comes, but the guys and I aren't unfamiliar with hosting parties. Don't you worry, Y/N."
You blush and nod. "Now, I can beat you in any party game we play instead of pickup." You tease, and he laughs while shaking his head. He pulls out his phone and quickly types something in a group chat.
"I've told the boys about it, and I put down Friday at 10pm." He says, getting up. He walks over to the closet, where you follow him, to grab his backpack. "Are you going home right away, or do you wanna grab some dinner with me?" He smiles, walking towards the gym door to open it for you.
"I can always make time for food." You smile at him, walking closely together towards a nearby restaurant.
The two of you joke the entire time, even after you get to the restaurant and while you eat. Once the two of you agree to leave, Johnny excuses himself to go to the washroom, but just pays for the bill so that you don't have the chance to.
"I took care of the bill, we can go now." He smirks as he walks towards you. You gasp, before rolling your eyes as you let out a little thank you and get up. He grins at you cutely and walks close to you again.
He insists on walking you home, despite living quite a distance away. You give up on saying he doesn't have to, and you're happy you can spend more time with him. Outside your door, he reluctantly lets you go and says he'll text you when he's home.
You fall asleep that night on a call with Johnny, ready to share a class with him the next morning.
You go through your week waiting for Friday, which seems to slowly come. Were you more excited to spend casual time with your girls or with Johnny? During your nightly calls, you and Johnny have been preparing a list of food, drinks, and decorations to buy for the party.
Finally, Friday arrives. The two of you shared your one and only class that morning, and you were filled with jitters, nervous for that night. Johnny insisted on driving to Walmart together, and you shyly sat in his passenger seat. You try not to look at him as he drives, fearing you'd be staring, so you angle your head enough for him to be in your peripheral vision as you talk.
Your shopping trip took longer than you expected. It was relatively easy to find all the items you wanted to buy, but you and Johnny keep goofing off. You show him snacks that intrigue you, which Johnny remembers to buy you, and he asks you what the colour scheme of the decorations should be. You even laugh at silly clothes together, even though it's not part of the plan.
"I know blue and white are our school colours, and you're probably sick of it, but do you wanna wear it to match the decorations?" Johnny asks shyly as you approach the register. You can tell the decorations are an excuse; he just wants to match with you, making you blush as you nod. Johnny just smiles in response.
The cashier watches in amusement as you and Johnny lightly shove each other at the machine, waiting for the chance to pay for everything. Johnny suddenly lets you go at the machine, and you watch him suspiciously. You let out a groan when you see him pull out a few bills, and the cashier happily accepts them.
"You bitch." You mutter quietly, and Johnny laughs, the cashier trying to suppress hers. Johnny thanks the cashier as he finishes loading the bags of supplies into the shopping cart.
"You really thought I'd let you pay?" Johnny smirks at you as you approach his car, and you just roll your eyes and shake your head, laughing at him. You help him load everything into his car, and the drive to Johnny's house is filled with a comfortable silence. As you approach his house, though, he sees you fidgeting, knowing you were nervous to meet his friends.
"They're gonna like you, you don't have to worry." Johnny reassures you, putting his hand on top of yours once he stops the car. You look at him with a shy smile, and you see a slight blush on Johnny's cheeks as he takes his hand away, looking down.
After a few trips to the car, you and Johnny finally start to unload the groceries. You're surprised that his house is so big, but it makes sense since three other men live with him. You can hear their footsteps approach you, and Johnny sends you another reassuring smile before you turn around to them.
"Guys, this is Y/N. She's the girl I play pickup with, and surprisingly, the women's team's captain. Y/N, these are Taeyong, Yuta, and Jaehyun. They're also members of the team." Johnny says as the boys come up to you to shake your hand. They all flash teasing smiles as they look between the two of you, and you blush.
"It's nice to meet you, Y/N. We're so excited for tonight." Taeyong says as Yuta and Jaehyun look at the bags of alcohol.
"Yeah, we've heard a lot about you." Yuta says as he inspects a bottle, causing Jaehyun to laugh. You glance at Johnny, and he squints his eyes at the boys.
"You can look at everything tonight after we decorate." Johnny says as he snatches the drinks from Yuta and Jaehyun. Yuta rolls his eyes and groans, causing you to giggle. They all wave at you before going back upstairs, and you ace Johnny.
"Sorry, I forgot how annoying they are around new people, especially girls." Johnny says as he reaches for some of the blue streamers. You laugh as you go for the white streamers and tape. You're thankful for Johnny's height as he glues them along the walls. You set up the cups and drinks along his counter and grab plates and bowls for the snacks.
After decorating, Johnny goes to his room to change, telling you to wait for him so he can quickly take you home to get ready. You nod and look around his lower floor. You wonder how his room looks, surprised that they can afford a whole four-bedroom house. You look around at some of the pictures, smiling at the younger ones of all the boys in the house. Johnny told you that Taeyong and Yuta were your age, but you see pictures with Jaehyun and other boys too, wondering how long they've been friends.
"Alright, let's go." Johnny says as he walks downstairs. He sees you looking at the pictures of him and his friends. He looks at them with you. "The others go to other schools. If today wasn't for our teams, they could have met you too." He smiles as he looks directly at you.
"I'd be happy to meet them; they seem important to you." You smile back, then turn around and get ready to leave. During the ride, you ask him about his friends. He mentions that Doyoung, Winwin, and Jungwoo attend a nearby university, while Mark and Haechan are still in high school. He asks about your own childhood friends, all of whom attend separate universities.
"You really don't have to wait for me, you know. What if I take long?" You say as he reaches your house. Johnny parks and looks at you, annoyed.
"Take as long as you need. I'm not going anywhere without you." He answers. You giggle and nod, finally stepping out. As you get ready, you try to go through your routine quickly, not wanting to bore him but also wanting to look good and dress similarly to him.
You lock your door and walk towards Johnny's car, who watches your every move. His eyes scan your figure, and once you reach his door, you see a hungry look in his face. "You look good." is all he can say before pulling out of your driveway and rushing back to his house, the ride silent.
When you get back to his house, the boys come downstairs.
"Man, I thought you were guests." Jaehyun complains. You see Yuta give the two of you a smirk, slightly nudging Jaehyun to look at your matching clothes. Taeyong smiles, but suddenly gets startled at the sound of a doorbell. Johnny opens the door with you beside him, and you see a few of your girls, as well as a few of the guys from the team.
"Y/N!" The girls all cheer, dragging you into the house. Johnny watches as you are pulled into the kitchen, assuming the girls are gonna drink with you.
"Is there a reason why you guys are matching?" Yuta teases, and the other boys laugh. Johnny just rolls his eyes and drags everyone towards the kitchen, ready to drink.
You and the girls pour shots for everyone and hand them out. You give Johnny his drink, with your hand holding yours, and he holds onto your hand for a few seconds as he takes the glass from you with a smirk.
"First, I think our team captains should have the first drinks. They're gonna be really busy this year." Taeyong says out loud, directing everyone's attention to you and Johnny, causing the two of you to jump away from each other. Everyone cheers, and you and Johnny look at each other before making a toast and drinking together.
Everyone follows up with their shots afterward, and Jaehyun turns up the music, prompting everyone to start socializing. You move away from Johnny to go to your teammates, ready to finally get to know the new ones.
"You stare at her too much." Jaehyun says, slinging his arm around Johnny. Johnny looks away from you to glare at Jaehyun, especially the smirk on his face. "If there's any day to make a move, it's today."
"So, why am I sensing something between you and the other team captain?" One of the girls nudges you. You blush as all the girls giggle at your reaction.
"I don't think it's like that." You shyly respond. You hope they'll forget once they've had more to drink.
"I'm telling you, Y/N, he's already been staring at you, and he will all night." Another girl says before more drinks are passed around.
After a few hours, many players have had a lot to drink. You've noticed a few people aren't around, assuming they're occupied in the washroom or an unsuspecting room. The house started to get stuffy, and you decided to sit in the backyard. You spread your legs out and hold yourself up with your arms behind you. The clear sky and cool breeze sobered you up, not that you were far gone.
Johnny sits on his kitchen counter as he watches yet another couple go upstairs. They better not go into my room, he thinks to himself. He had hoped to talk to you during the party, but he hadn't seen you at all. Some of the boys kept dragging him away to have more drinks or watch as someone did vape tricks, and he assumed you were in a similar situation.
His blood suddenly runs cold. Is Y/N upstairs with someone? But more importantly, does she think I'm upstairs with someone? He suddenly gets up from where he's sitting, hoping to find you somewhere downstairs. He walks out of the kitchen, but immediately spots a figure in the backyard.
You hear the door slowly open and turn around. Johnny's confused face is quickly replaced by a small smile as he walks up to you. He sits beside you before stretching his legs out like you, but the two of you stay silent as you look up, despite no stars being visible.
"I hope you're not bored." Johnny softly says, his voice hardly a whisper. You look at him and your breath hitches. His face is very close, and his eyes are piercing yours. You can only shake your head with a small smile.
"I wanted to be with you, but the boys kept distracting me." He continues, looking back up. He hoped his words weren't too forward.
"Me too. At least we finally found each other." You smile, looking at him. Despite wanting to smile back, Johnny can't. All he can do is stare at your lips. You can see that hungry look again, and you swallow a big gulp.
Slowly, Johnny brings a hand to your cheek. You slightly jump from how cold his hand is, but lean into his touch, moving closer to his face. He slowly rubs your bottom lip as another hand comes to your waist, and you throw your arms around his neck.
You spend a few more seconds in silence, holding each other, before Johnny whispers, "Can I, please?" You barely move your head to nod before Johnny's lips jump onto yours.
The taste of alcohol is very apparent as your lips softly fit into each other. Johnny moves his hand from your cheek to your neck and squeezes, the kiss suddenly becoming passionate. The way his lips are quick and messy on yours indicates his hunger, and it makes you slightly gasp. Johnny takes the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth.
You suddenly feel his hands move to your thighs before he rolls you onto his lap. You move your hands into his hair, slightly scratching the back of his head, and he tightly squeezes your waist with both of his hands. You moan, tightening your legs around him, causing him to slightly groan.
You pull away, but Johnny isn't done yet as he moves his kisses to your neck. You move your head to the side, granting him space to shove his head into your neck. You can feel his pace slowing down and his kisses getting softer as he comes back up to peck your lips.
He looks at you with half-lidded eyes and a dazed look. You peck his lips quickly before pulling away, smiling. He brings you back into a soft kiss, smiling against your lips, which you reciprocate.
"Please be my girlfriend?" Johnny asks before giving you a quick peck. You giggle and nod, hugging him and putting your face in his neck, kissing it.
"Two team captains, we're a power couple." You murmur against his neck, and Johnny feels goosebumps. He lightly laughs before pulling you away, bringing you into another kiss.
The two of you suddenly hear cheers, and as you turn around, you see everybody standing against the door, watching the two of you and celebrating, with Taeyong, Yuta, and Jaehyun being the loudest and jumpiest ones.
Desde que tengo memoria, siempre le tuve respeto (por no decir miedo) a este clásico de la literatura. Esperé que en algún momento me tocara leerlo en mis últimos años de colegio como parte del plan de estudio para aprovechar la ocasión, pero eso no sucedió y simplemente lo evité, aunque la curiosidad estuvo ahí, latente.
Mi inclinación en el terror siempre ha sido más hacia la parte vampírica y fantasmal, pero la idea de un monstruo creado de partes de cadáveres fue algo que, cada vez que volvía a aparecer frente a mí, me causaba inmensa curiosidad en su desarrollo literario para la época en que fue escrita la obra. Y como si fuera azar del destino, esa curiosidad con Frankenstein resurgió en mí este año gracias a la versión cinematográfica de Guillermo del Toro que se estrenó en Netflix a inicio de noviembre y que, si son cercanos a mí, ya están más que enterados que me encantó y se convirtió rápidamente en una de mis películas favoritas junto a mi obsesión más reciente.
Entonces decidí que era el momento de atreverme a leer la maravillosa obra de Mary Shelley luego de tanto huirle con ese temor incoherente que fuera a devorarme. Pero qué grata sorpresa me llevé al descubrir que este, al que llamaba monstruo, me entretuvo lo suficiente para devorarlo yo a él en menos de 10 horas, e incluso lagrimear un poco al asimilar que la historia en la cual quedé inmersa completamente ya había llegado a su fin.
Creo que mi yo de 16 años, que tuvo en su momento la intención de leerlo pero se arrepintió, no habría apreciado tanto la novela como la estoy apreciando ahora. Con tantas cosas que, gracias a los años, ya he interiorizado y estoy segura hoy por hoy no tendría las reflexiones tan claras que hice de la obra, ni el criterio para entender muchos sucesos que allí se plasman desde un punto de vista tan objetivo y crítico.
Ya por último, cierro diciendo que la narración de la criatura fue la parte del libro que más me mantuvo cautivada~ A partir de ahora y siempre será mi parte favorita. ♥
PD: Que agradecida estoy de tener amigas que me alimentan las obsesiones y me sorprenden con regalitos como estos, el bookmark fue el que usé durante toda mi lectura. ♥
Each piece of writing on this masterlist is set in the fratboy!jaehyun universe set up in chronological order of when things happen within the universe. Enjoy!!
updated March 12, 2025
most recently added fics are in bold!
/fics/
when the fratboy falls
Jaehyun is a fratboy with a notorious reputation for being a playboy, you have never heard of him. surely, he can use tutoring as an excuse to get close to you, right? OR the origin of it all
when the party's over
it was only a matter of time until this conversation came up. Jaehyun only wishes he were better at putting his feelings into words before the conversation went down
women in male fields
you’re fully aware you’re dating a reformed fuckboy/fratiest fratboy to exist but that doesn’t mean he can get away with acting like a douche without a taste of his own medicine… OR the 3 times sweetheart finds herself acting like a fuckboy and the 1 time Jaehyun calls her out
/timestamps and one-shots/
[10:14 pm]- fratboy!Jaehyun is really nervous to have you attend a frat party now that he’s sure he likes you
[11:14 pm]- it's hard to forget that Jaehyun is a reformed fuckboy when you hear his old partners talk about what he's like in bed
he's harmless- you join the frat for a night in playing truth or dare... you get paid to kiss someone and it's not Jaehyun...
[4:22pm]- Jaehyun can't stand watching some loser flirt with you... why aren't you doing anything about it?
[6:18 pm]- you meet Jaehyun's ex and try not to be jealous, but damn, she's like really pretty
-when the party's over happens about here-
[7:37 pm]- fratboy!Jaehyun makes you mad and is uncharacteristically lovey dovey which is also weird for his frat brothers to see
[10:04 pm]- fratboy!Jaehyun leaves a party to go take care of his girl
[6:14 pm]- fratboy!Jaehyun teaches you how to drive
[10:16 pm]- fratboy!Jaehyun keeps using awful holiday pick up lines on you... unfortunately they work
[7:06 pm]- Fratboy!Jaehyun mixed up the times for the frat formal so you have to rush to get ready. Luckily, Jaehyun’s there to help even though he’s never done it before
[2:49 am]- Fratboy!Jaehyun- Sleeping at the frat house is always an adventure- wait, is someone having sex right now?!
[1:44 pm]- fratboy!Jaehyun gets jealous when he wakes up to find you spending time with someone else instead of him
[4:19 pm]- fratboy!Jaehyun comforts you when you have a bad day
I like(?) Haechan- you and Haechan are too close and Jaehyun finally admits that he's just a tiny bit jealous
[12:09 pm]- You just learned that one of Jaehyun's fratbros was cheating on one of your friends and Jaehyun knew...
[2:24 pm]- how can you focus on giving Jaehyun's directions when he looks so damn good behind the wheel?
[5:11 pm]- Since when did the guys become comfortable enough to enter the bathroom while you were showering? Actually, when did you become comfortable to shower at the frat house at all??
/tiktoks/
best brother ever- you do the “best brother ever” prank on fratboy!Jaehyun- he hates it
marrying ice cream- you do the “calling your boyfriend your husband prank” on your boyfriend
smudged kisses- you do the "messed up lipstick" trend with your boyfriend
no one would hear you scream- you do the "no one would hear you scream" prank on your boyfriend while on a hike with the frat
grwm while I...- Jaehyun decides to pull a prank on you. It backfires.
my boyfriend ranks...- you use the physical affection filter with Jaehyun and he ranks them
anyone could walk in on us...- you do the "pretending to give my boyfriend head" prank on your boyfriend
tell me you love me or else- you do the "hanging up on my boyfriend without saying I love you" on your boyfriend
a boy who's jacked and kind- you do the "a boy who's jacked and kind" trend with your boyfriend
we listen and we don't judge- you do the "we listen and we don't judge" trend with your boyfriend
don't smile...- you do the prank where you give Jaehyun a note telling him not to smile and you'll give him head
MY Johnny- you do the prank where his best friend pays for your nails... or perhaps your best friend paid for them
what do you mean, he?- you do the "a guy waxed me" prank on your boyfriend
what does your cup say?- you ask your barista friend to prank your boyfriend by writing a pick-up line on his cup
birthday spoiling- you do the trend where you hide sexy pics for your boyfriend to find on his birthday
/extras/
birthday smau for fratboy!Jaehyun
will you be my valentine?
Sweetheart's dynamic with the rest of the frat!
/alternate timeline/ /aka fratboy!Jae but not the MAIN fratboy!Jae/
[9:35 pm]- you and fratboy!Jaehyun have been keeping your relationship under wraps until now...
how do you say...- you ask your boyfriend how to say certain things in Korean... why do they sound so flirty?
Summary: Jihoon watched you grown, from a trainee to a co-producer. So, a love confession would be the last thing he expected.
Jihoon was the co-producer for your debut project. For six intense months, he observed you and the other trainees with a sharp, discerning eye. From the very beginning, he was certain you would make it into the debut line. It was like watching a reflection of his younger self — the grit, the passion, the unwavering determination. Every week during your progress presentations, he saw it more clearly. This one’s different, he thought. This one’s special.
You were destined to debut in Pledis’s new girl group. No one could convince him otherwise. He could already picture it — you shining on stage, a star in the making.
That’s why the news hit him so hard. It came when he was in the middle of a world tour, just a month before the official debut announcement. The call came from Soonyoung, his teammate, who shared his belief in you. Jihoon could still hear the disappointment in Soonyoung’s voice as he delivered the news.
"Y/n didn’t make it."
At first, Jihoon didn’t believe it. No, that’s impossible. He didn’t even think before calling Bumzu, the main producer for the project. His voice was sharp, urgent. "What happened?" he demanded. "She was supposed to debut. We all saw it."
On the other end of the line, Bumzu sighed. "We fought for her, Jihoon. We really did. But the executives had other plans."
Other plans? Jihoon’s chest tightened with frustration. His grip on the phone grew tense. "Then what was the point of all of this? What was the point of that project if the decision was already made?"
The room around him fell silent. His members stopped what they were doing, eyes wide with surprise. For the first time in a long time, they saw him lose his composure. Jihoon was known for being calm, collected, and focused. But this? This was something else.
The call ended, but the bitterness lingered. He told himself it would be the last time he ever saw potential like yours — raw, undeniable, and destined for greatness. It was a rare thing to witness, and losing it felt like a personal defeat.
Time moved on. Tours, albums, and schedules blurred together. Three years passed in what felt like a flash. Jihoon was still at the heart of the industry, a powerhouse behind the scenes and on stage.
But then, something unexpected happened.
One morning, during a production team meeting, the Team Leader stood at the front of the room, introducing a new producer. Jihoon barely glanced up at first, focused on his notes.
"Everyone, please welcome our newest producer, Ji Y/N."
The name struck him like a jolt of electricity. Slowly, he lifted his head, eyes narrowing in disbelief. And there you were. Standing at the front of the room with the same fire in your eyes that he remembered from three years ago. But this time, you weren’t a trainee. You weren’t just potential. You were standing on equal ground.
His heart swelled with something between pride and awe. She made it after all, he thought. Not in the way anyone had expected, but perhaps in a way that was even better.
Because now, you were the one calling the shots.
You were the main producer for the very group that had debuted without you. The irony wasn’t lost on anyone, least of all Jihoon. Sometimes, as he watched you from across the studio, he wondered if there was any bitterness left in you. Did it still hurt? he wondered. You were supposed to be with them — on stage, in the spotlight. But here you were, behind the glass, calling the shots.
If there was resentment, you never showed it. You were focused, sharp, and commanding in every session, your presence undeniable. The idols who had once been your fellow trainees now hung on your every word, adjusting their notes and vocals the moment you gave feedback. You had become the kind of leader that even Jihoon had to respect.
It was during one of these sessions that Bumzu, ever playful, leaned back in his chair after listening to the final notes of your demo. His eyebrows lifted in exaggerated surprise.
"Is it even possible to create something like this?" he teased, shooting you a look of mock disbelief.
Jihoon glanced up from his notebook, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He clapped his hands slowly, his eyes glinting with pride and amusement.
Caught off guard, you burst into laughter, cheeks heating up. You tugged your hoodie over your face, as if that could somehow hide you from the praise. "Ah, stop it!" you groaned, voice muffled under the fabric.
But neither Bumzu nor Jihoon stopped. They kept clapping, grinning like they'd just witnessed something legendary.
"Don’t be shy now, Y/n," Bumzu called out, eyes crinkling with mischief. "A genius should never hide."
Jihoon leaned back, still watching you with that quiet, thoughtful gaze. You were no longer the trainee fighting for a spot on the debut line. You were a producer, a creator, and a force that couldn’t be ignored. If there was ever any bitterness in her, she turned it into something greater, he thought, his smirk softening into something warmer.
Pride was a strange feeling for him, but at that moment, he felt it all the same.
"I’ll leave the lyrics to Jihoon. I trust him," Bumzu said with a playful grin, tapping Jihoon on the shoulder before stretching his arms and heading for the door.
"Don’t let us down, genius," Bumzu added over his shoulder, his teasing tone echoing through the studio as the door clicked shut behind him.
You shifted in your seat, glancing at Jihoon with a hint of hesitation. "Sorry for bothering you with this," you said, fingers fidgeting with the sleeves of your hoodie. It wasn’t easy for you to ask for help, but for this project, you’d made an exception. Jihoon’s lyricism had always been something you admired, and you knew he could bring out the soul of the song in ways few others could.
Jihoon tilted his head, eyes crinkling in gentle amusement. "Don’t mention it," he said, his voice calm but sincere. "I’m happy I can help."
He reached for a stack of papers on the table, tapping them into a neat pile before holding them out to you. "Let’s start with this," he said, sliding the freshly revised lyrics toward you.
You leaned forward, eyes scanning the words with quiet intensity. Each line felt like it had weight, every phrase deliberate. There were subtle changes — words swapped for stronger imagery, rhythms that hit with more precision. You recognized his touch immediately.
"These are... really good," you admitted, glancing at him with a look of awe. "It feels like it hits harder now."
Jihoon shrugged, but you didn’t miss the faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "That’s the goal," he replied, tapping his pen against the edge of the table. His gaze shifted toward you, eyes steady but kind. "But if anything feels off, we can rework it. I want it to feel yours."
The sincerity in his words caught you off guard for a moment. You nodded, warmth blooming quietly in your chest. "Then let’s make it ours," you said with a small smile, lifting the paper as if it were something precious.
"But how did you even think of this?" you asked, eyes still fixed on the lyrics in front of you. Awe colored your voice as you traced the words with your fingertips. "I really like the theme — love letter. It’s so perfect."
Jihoon leaned back in his chair, tapping his pen thoughtfully against the table. "Flutter," he said simply, his gaze distant like he was replaying a memory. "When I heard the demo for the first time, it felt like that... like the feeling you get when you read a love letter."
His words hung in the air for a moment, soft but powerful. It was the kind of thing that lingered in your mind, making you pause just to feel it a little longer.
But then, as if catching himself, Jihoon shook his head and waved his hand dismissively, brushing away the atmosphere he had just created — as if he wasn’t the one who had built it in the first place. "Anyway, it’s nothing deep," he said with a small, self-conscious chuckle.
You glanced at him, catching the faint smile tugging at his lips. It wasn’t just a random idea — that much was obvious. There was something familiar in the way he spoke about it, like he was remembering something personal.
His gaze flickered briefly to the side, his fingers tapping a quiet rhythm on the table. Flutter, he’d said. The same feeling that stirred in him every time he’d read the love letters he’d received years ago. Letters he could still recall, word for word.
You tilted your head, watching him with quiet curiosity. "It’s not nothing, you know," you said softly. "You can feel it in the lyrics. It’s real."
Jihoon glanced at you, his eyes lingering for just a moment longer than usual. Then, with a faint shrug, he looked back at the paper. "If it feels real, then we’re on the right track," he muttered, but the small smile that stayed on his face told you that, maybe, he was feeling that same flutter all over again.
*
You heard it — fluttering. You weren’t sure what Jihoon was implying, but everything about it seemed to point to the theme: Love Letter.
Back at your home studio, you sat in your chair, the lyrics you’d revised with Jihoon resting in your hands. Your eyes traced each word, but your mind was somewhere else. You leaned back with a heavy sigh, letting the weight of everything settle over you. How did we get here? You and Jihoon — now equals. It felt surreal. Time had flown faster than you realized.
Memories crept in like old songs on replay. You remembered him during your trainee days — strict but attentive. He’d been one of the hardest people to impress, and somehow, that made you work even harder. You poured everything into every performance, every evaluation, every moment. Not just for yourself, but for him. To make him see you. To be seen by him.
That feeling... it should have disappeared once you stepped into this building as a producer. You were no longer a trainee chasing approval. You were his peer now. But somehow, it lingered. It always lingered.
Your hand drifted toward your desk, fingers brushing over a familiar object. A letter. The paper was worn, its edges soft from age, a faint coffee stain marking one corner. It had been with you for years — a quiet reminder of something you never quite let go of. You’d taken care of it like it was precious. Like your feelings for him. Feelings that never faded, no matter how much you told yourself they would.
Your fingers traced the edges of the letter, and your heart thudded louder in your chest. It had been like this since earlier — ever since Jihoon mentioned it.
"Flutter. Like the feeling you get when you read a love letter."
Your breath caught in your throat. Your heart, which was already unsteady around him, felt even more chaotic now. It had been this way for years. Back then, when you were just a trainee, it had been worse. You’d poured all those wild, uncontrollable feelings into letters. Handwritten confessions only meant for him.
How many had you written? How many had you left behind, hoping, wishing, praying he would notice? You always knew he would. He’s Jihoon, after all. He noticed everything.
He noticed when you were in pain during the monthly evaluations, his sharp gaze catching the smallest wince. He noticed when you had a cold during recording, quietly leaving a warm drink on the table near you. He even noticed when you cut your hair, commenting on it so casually like it was nothing, but it had stayed with you for weeks.
Of course, he’d notice a love letter.
And you’d been so careful. Leaving them just where you knew he would find them — near the practice room where he passed by, tucked on the edge of the table in the recording studio. He’d see them. He had to have seen them.
But did he read them?
Your eyes flickered back to the lyrics in your hand.
"Flutter. Like the feeling you get when you read a love letter."
Your fingers tightened around the paper as your heart pounded harder. Did he read them?
And if he did... did he know they were from you?
You put the letter back in its place. He’ll never know.
He’d never know about any of it — not the words you’d carefully written, not the feelings you’d poured into every stroke of your pen, and certainly not about the last letter. The one you never sent.
You had been so sure. So sure. You thought you’d make it into the debut line. Everyone did. That’s why you prepared that final letter — the one that would reveal your identity, the one that would tell him everything. After the announcement, you planned to hand it to him yourself. No more hiding behind anonymous words. No more waiting.
But reality had other plans.
The news hit you like a storm you hadn’t seen coming. They didn’t debut you. They said you were too old to debut.
Too old.
The words echoed in your mind, hollow and cutting. You’d spent years giving everything to this dream, only for it to be reduced to two cold, dismissive words.
They didn’t stop there, though. No, they had another plan. They offered you a contract — not as an idol, but as a producer. The group’s producer. They mentioned how much they liked the song you’d composed during the project and said they wanted to release it as part of the group’s debut album.
But you were too angry to listen. Too hurt to consider it. You walked away.
For a while, you told yourself that walking away was your only option. You told yourself you had every right to be angry, that you’d been wronged. Unfair didn’t even begin to describe it. You’d fought so hard, only to be told that you weren’t enough. It was a wound too deep for logic to mend.
But wounds don’t stay open forever. Time has its way of softening even the sharpest edges.
Eventually, you realized something important — there was nothing you could do to change the past. No amount of anger or regret would make them call your name as part of that debut lineup.
When they reached out to you again, it wasn’t an apology, but it was an offer. A chance.
This time, you considered it. Not for them. Not for their approval. For you.
You accepted the role as the group’s producer.
And with it, you walked into that building again — older, wiser, and stronger than you’d ever been. No longer chasing someone else’s dream, but building your own.
*
Jihoon glanced away from the computer screen as the sound of the door opening caught his attention. His eyes softened at the sight of you walking in, balancing a plastic bag in one hand and a tray of coffees in the other. You’d texted him earlier, saying you’d bring something as a sign of gratitude for his help with the lyrics.
"You really didn’t have to do this," Jihoon said, getting up from his chair and settling on the couch across from you.
"I know," you replied with a grin, pulling out the contents of the bag. Cans of Coke, takeout food, snacks, and the coffees you’d promised. "But Bumzu oppa’s coming later, and I figured it’d be nice to have something for all of us."
Jihoon raised an eyebrow but didn’t argue, watching as you neatly arranged everything on the table.
It was time to play the final demo — the one you’d be submitting to the production team. This was the moment that all the effort had been building up to. Jihoon and Bumzu had both contributed to it, so they were eager to give it one last listen.
"Should we play it?" Jihoon asked, looking over at you.
"Already sent it to you," you replied, tapping your phone with a small smile.
Jihoon pulled it up and hit play. The room filled with the melody you’d spent weeks perfecting. He listened intently, his eyes focused but his face honest, reacting naturally to every detail. His nose scrunched up whenever a particularly "cool" part played — a habit you’d noticed over time.
"It's your voice, huh?" he teased, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. "It's gonna be tough to direct them to sing it like you."
You laughed, half-embarrassed, half-flattered. "Well, they’ll just have to try their best, won’t they?"
When the song reached its bridge, Jihoon leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He nodded along, eyes flickering with something close to pride. "Let me be honest with you," he said as he cracked open a can of Coke, "you’re really good at writing."
Your cheeks warmed as you popped a piece of food into your mouth, trying to downplay your smile. "Coming from an amazing lyricist like you, oppa, that means a lot. Thank you."
Jihoon shook his head, chuckling softly. "No, I’m serious. When you suggested that line — 'tearing all the tears as the ink, they won't be flowing when you’re with me' — I swear, I felt like I was sitting next to Kahlil Gibran."
Your eyes widened in shock, and you immediately waved him off, face flushing. "No way, don’t say that! You’re exaggerating!" you protested, but the laughter that escaped you betrayed how happy the compliment made you feel.
Just then, the door swung open, and Bumzu entered, already bopping his head to the rhythm of the demo still playing. He grinned as his eyes landed on the spread of food on the table.
"Are we having a feast or what?" he asked, rubbing his hands together as he walked in.
"Don’t get too comfortable," Jihoon warned, shaking his head as he took a sip of his Coke.
But Bumzu had other plans. His eyes lit up mischievously as he pulled out his phone. "I’m ordering alcohol!" he declared with far too much enthusiasm.
"You’re not serious," Jihoon sighed, already feeling the weight of the night ahead.
But judging by the grin on Bumzu's face, it was too late to stop him.
Jihoon glanced at you, a resigned smile tugging at his lips. "Looks like it’s gonna be a long day."
"Or a long night," you added with a playful grin, taking another sip of your coffee.
Jihoon sighed deeply, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared at the empty spot where Bumzu had been just a few minutes ago. That hyung… he thought, his frustration barely contained.
Bumzu had a well-known habit of disappearing whenever he got too drunk. He’d leave behind everything — his wallet, his coat, his phone, sometimes even his shoes — and vanish faster than anyone could react. By the time they noticed, it was too late to call him back. It was almost like a magic trick. But this time, he’d left more than his belongings. He’d left you.
Jihoon glanced over at the studio couch, where you lay sprawled out, humming a familiar tune. It took him a second to recognize it, but then it clicked — it was a song you’d sung during your trainee days. He remembered it vividly because he’d been one of the monitors back then. You’d poured so much heart into that performance, and he could still picture you on that small stage, eyes fierce with determination. Seeing you like this now, eyes hazy and limbs limp, made him feel strangely nostalgic.
“Y/n, you need to go home,” he said, keeping his tone gentle but firm as he pulled out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts, searching for someone who might know your address. If he could get ahold of them, he’d call a cab and have them send you home.
“Don’t wanna,” you mumbled, turning your face into the cushions. Your voice was muffled, but the stubbornness was clear.
Jihoon exhaled a soft laugh. It was his first time seeing you drunk, and honestly, it wasn’t too different from how you acted when you were exhausted from practice. Stubborn, a little pouty, but somehow still cute. The only difference now was that you didn’t seem to recognize who was in front of you.
“I already ordered a cab,” he said patiently, crouching down to meet your eye level. “When it gets here, make sure you tell the driver your address, okay?”
You blinked at him, squinting as if trying to identify him through a fog. “Who… are you again?”
Jihoon sighed, shaking his head with a small smile. Here we go again.
“It’s me, Jihoon,” he said, reaching out to pull you into a sitting position. “Come on, let’s head down to the lobby. I’ll find someone to help me get you in the cab.”
You didn’t resist, though your body was like a ragdoll in his hands. Your legs wobbled like jelly, and he had to wrap his arm firmly around your waist to steady you. You leaned into him more than necessary, head resting on his shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“You sound like Jihoon oppa…” you mumbled, voice slurred but still clear enough for him to catch.
Jihoon snorted. “That’s because I am Jihoon.”
You gasped dramatically, pulling back just far enough to look at him with wide, incredulous eyes. “No way! Jihoon oppa’s too busy to be here.” You squinted at him, face scrunched in deep suspicion. “He’s busy. All the time.”
Jihoon shook his head, thoroughly amused. “You know I’m standing right here, right?”
You ignored him completely, eyes distant as if you were lost in your own world. “He’s busy,” you continued softly, like you were talking to yourself. “He’s hardworking. I like him…”
Jihoon froze.
His grip on you stayed firm, but his feet stopped moving.
What did you just say?
He blinked, waiting to see if you’d repeat it.
You didn’t notice. You just kept talking, gaze unfocused, voice as light as a feather drifting in the air. “He’s emotionally intelligent too… His songs are beautiful. Just like his personality.” You sighed dreamily, leaning on him a little more as your eyes fluttered closed. “I like him.”
Jihoon’s heart did something strange — a sharp thud followed by an odd, weightless feeling in his chest.
Did you… just say you like me?
He stared at you, his brain struggling to keep up with what he’d just heard. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He didn’t even know what to say.
Suddenly, the elevator doors at the end of the hallway slid open, revealing Soonyoung. His wide, curious eyes zeroed in on the sight of Jihoon half-holding, half-carrying you down the hall.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Soonyoung said, stepping out with a dramatic point in Jihoon’s direction. “What is this? You got her drunk? You don’t even drink!”
“Please,” Jihoon muttered, already feeling the headache coming on.
“What happened to her?” Soonyoung asked, stepping closer, his expression twisting with mock suspicion. “Don’t tell me you two—”
“It was Bumzu hyung,” Jihoon cut in, glaring at him. “He disappeared like he always does. Left everything behind, including her.” He adjusted his grip on you, trying to keep you upright.
Soonyoung tilted his head, eyeing you both like he was still trying to piece it all together. Then he grinned, mischief practically radiating from him. “Well, well, well,” he teased, his grin only growing wider. “Need help, Romeo?”
Jihoon shot him a look that could freeze fire. “Don’t start.”
“Fine, fine,” Soonyoung said with a laugh, hands raised in mock surrender. “I’ll help you get her to the cab.”
With Soonyoung’s help, Jihoon managed to get you into the back seat of the cab. The driver asked for your address, but Jihoon glanced at you, still half-asleep, lips barely moving as you mumbled something incoherent.
“I’ll send it to him,” Jihoon said, already pulling out his phone to text the driver the address.
“You sure you don’t want a ride back, Jihoon-ah?” Soonyoung offered, leaning his arm on the open car door. “I can drop you off.”
“Nah,” Jihoon said, still glancing at you as the driver confirmed the address. “I need to walk.”
“Pfft, walk? You sound like an old man,” Soonyoung teased, slapping Jihoon’s back.
“Go home, bye,” Jihoon grumbled, waving him off.
Once the cab drove away, Jihoon stood still for a moment, letting the cool night air wash over him.
I like him.
Her words echoed in his mind, circling like a melody on repeat. He rubbed his hands together slowly, eyes on the sidewalk ahead of him.
He stuffed his hands into his coat pockets and started walking, his breath coming out in small clouds in the cold air. No one else was around, and the only sound was the soft crunch of his sneakers on the pavement.
His heart thudded in his chest, steadier now but still louder than usual.
A small, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
He walked slowly, taking his time. He needed the fresh air, sure. But more than that, he needed time to process the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside him.
Because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop replaying your voice in his mind.
I like him.
*
The next morning, you sent Jihoon a text.
"Thank you for getting me home safely, oppa."
You didn’t remember much from that night, only flashes of you leaning on someone and the faint scent of his familiar cologne. Since you’d heard Bumzu vanished early as usual, it had to be Jihoon who took care of you. Still, knowing how busy he was, you didn’t expect a reply. Instead, you quickly busied yourself with work, pushing the lingering embarrassment aside.
A few days later, you were knee-deep in packing boxes. You were preparing to move to a new apartment, one closer to the company, which would make commuting easier. With help from a couple of friends, the packing went faster than expected. They chatted and teased you as you sorted through your things.
“Hey, what’s this?” one of your friends asked, reaching for a small, worn-out envelope sitting on the corner of your desk.
Your heart jumped in panic. You rushed over, snatching it before she could take a closer look. “Ah, it’s nothing,” you said quickly, slipping it into your bag.
“Suspicious~” she sang, narrowing her eyes playfully.
“It’s nothing important,” you insisted, shoving it deep into your bag.
Your phone buzzed on the table, drawing you out of your thoughts. It was a message from Jihoon.
"Any update on your latest song?"
You quickly typed a reply.
"Not yet, but I’m sure they’ll accept it soon. They’ve been slow lately."
The production team was notorious for taking their time, so you weren’t too worried. Besides, you were currently caught up in another project with a different artist, and following up with the production team wasn’t your priority.
Just as you were about to put your phone away, another text from Jihoon popped up.
"I want to discuss a song with you. Are you free now?"
You glanced at the mess of boxes around you and snapped a quick photo.
"I’m moving out!"
This time, Jihoon didn’t text back. He called.
Your eyes widened as you stared at the screen. He’s calling me? Jihoon rarely called, even when it was urgent. Curious, you picked up.
“Hello?” you answered.
“You’re moving? To where?” His voice was clear and steady, but there was an undertone of surprise.
You explained your new place, telling him it was just a short walk from the company. It was more convenient and would save you time commuting to work.
“That’s great,” Jihoon said, his tone sounding warmer than usual. “I live around that area too.”
“Really?” you asked, a little surprised.
“Yeah, we’ll be neighbors,” he said with a chuckle.
For some reason, the thought of living close to him made you feel oddly self-conscious.
“By the way,” you added, feeling a bit braver now, “how did you know my address that night? I don’t remember giving it to you. I’m so sorry for the trouble!”
You cringed as you recalled the fuzzy details of that night. The idea of him seeing you in a drunken, messy state made you want to disappear. He doesn't even drink, and I was a whole disaster.
His soft laughter rumbled through the phone, and you felt your face heat up.
“I got it from HR,” he admitted, still chuckling. “I basically terrorized him until he gave it to me since you wouldn’t say a word.”
You gasped in shock, both at his method and at the mental image of Jihoon pestering HR. “You did what?!”
“Don’t worry. I didn’t break any rules… I think,” he teased, his voice laced with mischief. “I had to make sure you got home safely.”
Your chest warmed, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Thank you for that,” you said softly.
“Don’t mention it,” Jihoon replied, his voice quieter now, like he’d tilted his head against the phone.
After a brief pause, you brought up the song. “About the song you wanted to discuss, I can stop by your studio tonight if that works for you.”
“Not necessary,” Jihoon said firmly. “I should be the one going to your studio. I’m the one asking for help.”
A laugh escaped you. This guy and his principles…
“Alright,” you agreed. “I’ll be at the company around 8. I’ll text you when I’m there.”
“Got it,” he replied. “See you then.”
The call ended, but the lingering warmth from his voice stayed with you. You glanced at the boxes scattered around the room and then at your bag — the one with that letter hidden inside.
*
Jihoon wasn’t sure when it started. At first, it was subtle — small changes that no one, not even he, noticed. It might have been the day you casually explained your creative process to him.
“You do what?” he asked, his brows raised in mild disbelief.
“I create a mind map,” you explained as you scribbled on a large whiteboard, drawing lines to connect scattered concepts and ideas. “Then, I gather samples that match the vibe. It helps me stay focused when I start composing the beat.”
Jihoon leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, watching you with quiet fascination. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand the logic behind it — it’s just that he’d never bother to do it. He’d always gone straight into producing, trusting his instincts to guide him. But the way you did it… it was methodical yet creative, disciplined yet free.
“There’s always a reason why you’re a genius,” you muttered, focused on sketching another connection on the board.
He blinked, surprised by your words, and then chuckled softly. “You mean because I’m lazy?”
You nodded, grinning at him from behind the whiteboard. “Exactly.”
For some reason, that moment stuck with him.
A week later, Seungkwan walked into Jihoon's studio with a cup of iced Americano for him — only to freeze in shock. Jihoon was standing at the whiteboard. Jihoon. At a whiteboard.
“What… is this?” Seungkwan asked, his eyes squinting like he was seeing an illusion.
“Mind mapping,” Jihoon replied casually, drawing another circle on the board and labeling it "Bridge Vibe — Sentimental, but not cheesy.”
Seungkwan gawked at him. “Who are you? And what have you done to Lee Jihoon?”
Jihoon just smirked and said nothing.
But that wasn’t all. Slowly but surely, the changes started piling up.
One day, Seungcheol walked past Jihoon’s studio and did a double-take. Jihoon was… eating dessert? A strawberry shortcake.
“Jihoon, you good?” Seungcheol asked, leaning on the doorframe, arms folded.
“Hmm?” Jihoon didn’t even glance up, scooping up another bite of cake while scrolling through his phone. “Yeah, why?”
“Dessert. You’re eating dessert.” Seungcheol’s voice was filled with suspicion, like he was trying to uncover a secret mission.
Jihoon raised a brow, slowly lifting his gaze from his phone. “And?”
“And you don’t eat dessert.”
“People change, hyung,” Jihoon muttered, stuffing another bite into his mouth.
“People change, but this much?” Seungcheol muttered to himself as he walked away, still glancing back every few steps like he’d just seen a cat bark.
The biggest shock, however, came when Jihoon suddenly registered for a shooting practice course. Yes, shooting. With a real gun.
Jeonghan was the first to hear about it. “You’re lying,” he deadpanned as he sipped his coffee in the practice room.
“Swear on my solo album,” Seungkwan replied, eyes wide with disbelief. “I’m serious. Jihoon-hyung signed up for it. I even saw the receipt.”
“Why?” Joshua asked, looking genuinely concerned.
“That’s what I’m saying!” Seungkwan exclaimed, waving his arms like a detective on a dramatic reveal. “Jihoon. With a gun. Do you know how dangerous that is for us? He already has that death glare.”
“It’s always the quiet ones,” Jeonghan muttered, rubbing his temple. “The quiet ones are the scariest.”
When Jihoon casually walked into practice later, everyone’s eyes were on him. It wasn’t unusual for him to receive attention, but this time it was different. They were looking at him like he was a time bomb.
“What?” Jihoon asked, his eyes darting between them.
“Are you going through something?” Jeonghan asked cautiously, stepping forward like he was about to have a serious intervention.
“Do we need to talk, hyung?” Seungkwan chimed in, his voice filled with the kind of concern, reserve for someone about to shave their head or move to another country.
Jihoon gave them both a blank stare. “No.”
“Then why are you suddenly into guns?”
“Hobby.”
The room went silent.
“Since when do you pick up hobbies?” Seungkwan whispered dramatically.
Jihoon ignored them, walking straight to his spot in the practice room. He put down his bag and pulled out his phone. But as he scrolled, he caught himself smiling. He thought of you showing him how to gather "inspiration" from unusual places. "Do something new. It'll help you create." That’s what you’d told him once. He didn’t think much of it then, but somehow, it got to him.
The changes didn’t stop.
Some days, he’d leave his studio just to walk to a nearby cafe. Normally, he’d stay locked in his workspace for hours, only emerging to grab a quick meal. But these days, he’d grab a coffee, pick up your favorite dessert, and drop it off at your studio.
“Brought you this,” he’d say, setting it down on your desk like it was no big deal.
“Thanks, oppa!” you’d chirp, smiling brightly. He’d linger for a moment, watching you open it with childlike excitement. But before you could say anything else, he’d wave it off like it was no big deal. “Alright, I’m going back.”
It became a routine. Occasionally, he'd sit with you for a bit. Not as a co-producer, but as a friend. He’d watch as you flipped through manhwa on your tablet, eyes focused but relaxed.
“What’s that?” he asked once, tilting his head.
“A new series,” you replied, not even looking away. “You’d like it. It's about a musician who time-travels to fix his regrets.”
Jihoon raised a brow, interest piqued. “Sounds cheesy.”
“It’s not. The writer knows their stuff,” you said, eyes still glued to the screen.
He glanced at it once, intending to leave. But then he sat down. One episode turned into two. Before he knew it, you were both huddled on the couch, scrolling through each new chapter together.
“Next chapter’s locked,” you muttered, annoyed.
“Here,” Jihoon said, tapping his phone. “I’ll unlock it.”
You looked up, wide-eyed. “Oppa, did you just buy coins for a manhwa?”
He blinked, realization dawning on him. “...Yeah.”
The two of you stared at each other. Then, laughter. It echoed in the studio like bells, crisp and light.
“You’re not yourself lately, oppa.” you teased, nudging his side.
He glanced at you, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah,” he muttered under his breath. “I’m not.”
Jihoon didn’t notice stares or whispered theories. He was too busy trying to figure out when he’d started picking up your habits. It wasn’t a conscious decision, but somehow, those little details had wormed their way into his life. The desserts, the manhwa breaks, the habit of sketching ideas before starting a track — they’d all become part of his process.
But it wasn’t just that.
He liked the way your voice sounded when you explained your reasoning for a certain sample choice. He liked how you hummed unconsciously when you were in the zone. He liked that you talked to him as a person, not just as "Woozi"
He... liked you.
But that was a realization he wasn’t quite ready to face yet.
Weeks later, Jihoon found himself staring at you. You were in the recording booth, headphones on, singing one of his demos meant for another female artist. The glow of the studio lights softened your features, and your focused expression drew him in more than it should have. His music engineer called his name, snapping him out of his thoughts, but Jihoon's eyes lingered on you for a moment longer. You glanced up through the glass, catching his gaze, and he quickly looked away, hoping you hadn't noticed.
"Are you okay, oppa? You seem... distracted," your voice crackled through the intercom, gentle but curious.
Jihoon leaned forward, pressing the talk button, masking his flustered state with a calm tone. "I'm fine. Just a bit tired. How about trying that line once more, Y/n?"
You nodded, adjusting your headphones and taking a breath before singing again. Your voice flowed smoothly, each note perfectly placed, your delivery effortless but full of heart. Jihoon leaned back in his chair, arms folded, eyes locked on you as you sang. It was a flawless take, but his mind wasn’t on the technicalities anymore.
He used to feel nothing but pride when hearing your voice — pride in your technique, your breathing, the way you controlled every note with precision. You’d always had that spark, even as a trainee, and he'd seen it from the beginning. Every time he heard you sing, he'd felt it — pride. Just pride.
But now, there was something more.
His chest felt warmer than it should have. The rise and fall of your voice, the slight quiver at the end of a sustained note, the way your eyes stayed focused on the lyrics in front of you — it all felt personal. Intimate. Like you were singing to him, just him, even though it wasn’t even a love song.
His brows furrowed, lips pressed into a thin line. What is this feeling? It wasn’t pride, at least not the kind he was used to. This was something else entirely, something that crept in without permission. His heart felt oddly light, yet unsteady, like it was tiptoeing on a fragile edge.
He glanced at the music engineer, pretending to focus on the control board. But in reality, his mind was stuck on you — your voice, your presence, and that inexplicable warmth spreading in his chest.
Why do I feel like this?
The song ended. You glanced at him, your head tilted, waiting for feedback. He pressed the button again, his voice coming out steadier than he expected. "That was perfect. Let’s keep that take."
"Okay, oppa." You smiled, and for a second, he forgot how to breathe.
His heart did something strange. Something unfamiliar.
Fluttering?
No, that couldn’t be it. It shouldn’t be it. But as you removed your headphones, flashing him one last smile before stepping out of the booth, he knew it was too late to deny it.
He wasn't just proud of you anymore.
He was falling for you.
*
You found yourself in a whirlwind of confusion as your phone buzzed non-stop with notifications. At first, you thought it was some group chat chaos, but it didn't take long to realize it was something much bigger. Your social media follower count had shot up drastically, and it wasn’t slowing down. Annoyed but curious, you muted the notifications and scrolled through the mentions.
One message from a friend caught your eye. It was a link to a short clip from the HYBE Producing Camp Documentary — the event you attended a month ago. It had been a major industry event featuring global producers collaborating with HYBE's own producers and idol-composers. You’d thought nothing of it at the time, just another chance to grow and network. But apparently, that one clip of you had gone viral.
"The Pretty Producer of Sheice."
That was the title plastered across multiple posts and video edits. Clips of you talking, working on a beat, or simply smiling in the background had been cut and edited with captions praising your visuals and youthful look. Comments flooded in.
"She’s so pretty, why isn’t she in the group??"
"She looks younger than some of producers."
"Wait, she's a main producer? Are you kidding me? Goals."
You froze. It wasn’t exactly bad attention, but it felt... off. Too much. Too fast. You immediately put your account on private, heart racing as you reviewed your posts. Thankfully, it was all clean — just travel shots, song credits, and random hangouts with friends. Still, it felt like someone had opened a window into your private life without warning.
The teasing started the moment you walked into the studio.
"Ah, look who's here. The Pretty Producer of Sheice has arrived!" Bumzu announced with a grin as soon as you sat down.
You rolled your eyes, unpacking your laptop. "Don’t start, oppa."
"Oh, but why not? It’s a once-in-a-lifetime title. ‘The Pretty Producer of Sheice’ — it even sounds like a K-drama," he teased, leaning in with a playful smirk. "You should print it on your business card."
You tried to brush it off, but the more you ignored him, the worse it got. Bumzu was relentless when he sensed weakness.
"Honestly, if they’d just put you in the group, you’d have been the visual and the main vocal. What a waste, huh?"
That comment hit deeper than he probably intended. Your eyes lowered, fingers fiddling with the corner of your notepad. The words came out before you could stop them.
"I'm sorry… I didn’t debut," you muttered, your voice quieter than usual.
The shift in mood was immediate. Bumzu blinked, his teasing smile fading into surprise.
"Ah… I didn’t mean it like that," he said, his tone full of regret. "I crossed the line. I’m sorry."
You shook your head quickly, your chest tightening. "No, it’s not you. I should’ve worked harder back then."
Bumzu stared at you for a moment, his jaw tensing like he wanted to argue. He let out a long sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. "That’s not on you. None of that was on you."
You didn’t respond. There wasn’t anything to say. The past was the past, and no amount of "what ifs" would change it. But guilt was a stubborn companion, one that didn’t leave just because someone told it to.
Bumzu glanced toward the door, clearly uncomfortable with the weight of the conversation. He wasn’t good with serious moments like this, but he cared. You knew that much.
"I’m heading out for a sec," he muttered, walking toward the hall.
As he opened the door, he nearly bumped into Jihoon, who was holding a plastic bag in one hand and his phone in the other. His eyes darted between Bumzu and the room behind him.
"Oh, hyung? Wanna join us for lunch?" Jihoon raised the bag with a light smile, oblivious to the shift in the atmosphere.
Bumzu put a hand on Jihoon’s shoulder, stopping him. "Don’t go in there yet. Give it ten minutes."
Jihoon tilted his head, confused. "Why?"
"Just… trust me." Bumzu gave him a pat on the back before walking off.
Jihoon frowned, glancing toward the studio door, but he didn’t go in. Instead, he leaned against the wall, phone in hand, scrolling mindlessly as he waited. Ten minutes never felt so long.
You pulled your hoodie over your head the moment Jihoon stepped into the studio. Quick and quiet, you shoved the crumpled tissues from the table to the farthest corner, like they could disappear if you just pushed hard enough. You coughed—loud and deliberate—rubbing your nose to sell the act before glancing at him.
"Hey, oppa," you greeted, forcing a casual smile.
Jihoon paused in the doorway, eyes narrowing slightly as he looked at you. His gaze lingered on your face longer than usual, like he could see through every little move you’d made to hide yourself.
"You caught a cold?" he asked, stepping further in.
You nodded, still rubbing your nose. "Yeah, but don’t worry, it’s not contagious." You tried to sound convincing, but your voice cracked a little at the end.
Jihoon shrugged, pulling out the food he’d brought along. The faint aroma of warm soup and rice filled the room as he set it on the table. "Should’ve told me. I would’ve gotten you some porridge."
He glanced at you once more before unwrapping the utensils, eyes still cautious, still watchful. You knew that look. Jihoon wasn't the type to press you for answers, but he wasn't clueless either.
"What's up with you and Bumzu hyung?" he asked casually, opening the lid of his soup.
"Nothing serious. Just… song stuff," you mumbled, hoping that would be enough.
Jihoon paused, side-eyeing you as he stirred the soup with his spoon. "Hyung told me to wait outside for ten minutes."
Your eyes twitched, knowing exactly where this was going.
"And I waited," he continued flatly, tilting his head toward you. "So, what's wrong?"
You hesitated, fingers fidgeting with the edge of your hoodie sleeves. It was stupid, you thought. No reason to make a big deal out of it. But Jihoon was still staring at you like he had all day to wait.
"He joked about me debuting with Sheice," you finally admitted, eyes locked on the food in front of you. "It was just a joke, but it kind of… crossed the line, I guess."
Jihoon hummed, lips pursed in thought. "Yeah, I could see how that'd be awkward," he said, nodding slowly.
"It’s not like it really bothers me anymore," you said, more to convince yourself than him. "But sometimes I think… maybe he still feels guilty about it. I don’t want him to think he failed me or something. He did everything he could."
Jihoon set his spoon down and leaned back, his eyes on you again. They weren’t sharp this time, just steady. Calm.
"Do you think he still sees you that way?" Jihoon asked.
"I don’t know." You exhaled slowly, tilting your head back to stare at the ceiling. "But sometimes, I feel like people still do. Like, they pity me because I didn’t debut. I don't want that." You glanced at him then, something raw in your eyes. "Do you feel sorry for me, oppa?"
Jihoon blinked once, twice, like it was the dumbest question he'd ever heard. He snorted, picking up his spoon again.
"Why would I pity you?" he said simply. "You’re an amazing composer. If anything, I should pity myself for having to compete with you."
That startled a laugh out of you, soft but real. "Compete? With me?"
"Yeah." He raised an eyebrow, smirking a little. "Look at how fast you’ve grown. If we compare how long we’ve both been in the industry, you’re catching up to me too fast."
A grin tugged at your lips, warmth spreading through your chest. "Then, thank you, sunbae," you said with a playful bow, calling him the title of a senior in the industry.
Jihoon waved it off, shaking his head like it physically hurt him. "Don’t do that. Just eat before it gets cold."
You chuckled, grabbing a spoon and opening your own container. The steam hit your face, warm and comforting. You stirred it a little before taking a small sip, sighing at the familiar taste.
"By the way," Jihoon said suddenly, his voice casual but steady. "Debut or no debut, you would’ve been great either way."
You glanced up, caught off guard.
He met your gaze, eyes clear and sure. "You’re too good to be held back by something like that. You're already doing amazing things now."
His words sat in the air for a moment, slow and deliberate, like they were meant to be heard, remembered, and tucked away. Your face felt hot, and it wasn't from the steam rising from the soup.
"Thank you, oppa," you muttered, hiding behind another spoonful of rice.
Jihoon tilted his head, watching you for a second longer before returning to his food. "No need to thank me. Just the truth."
But you kept your head down, eating quietly as your heart thudded a little louder than it should have.
*
Your heart pounded harder with each second, panic settling deep in your chest. You couldn't find it — the letter. The letter that held years of feelings and the one thing you swore you'd never let anyone see.
Your hands tore through your bag for the third time, fingers digging into every pocket, but it wasn’t there. Your breathing quickened. Think. Think. Where did you last have it? Your mind replayed the past few days in flashes.
I put it in my bag, didn’t I?
Your heart felt like it might burst out of your chest. You stood, pacing back and forth in your small apartment before you made a decision. The company. It has to be there.
The moment you stepped into the quiet, dimly lit company building, you felt the weight of the silence pressing on you. It was nearly 3 a.m., the kind of hour where ghosts of mistakes haunted you the loudest. Every creak of your footsteps echoed down the halls as you retraced your daily route. Your eyes scanned the floors like you were searching for a dropped contact lens, desperate for any sign of the letter.
Where could it be?
Panic rose higher. If anyone finds it… You didn’t even want to finish the thought. It wasn’t just your name on that letter. It had his name too.
You stopped walking, closing your eyes for a second as you felt your heart clench. You knew exactly whose name was scrawled inside that letter. Lee Jihoon.
A confession letter. The one you wrote years ago as a trainee but never had the courage to give him. Somehow, instead of throwing it away like a normal, rational person, you kept it like it was some kind of sentimental treasure. A reminder of those fleeting moments when you believed in things like "what if."
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
You squeezed your eyes shut, taking a deep breath. Okay. Think. Where did you take your bag?
Your eyes shot open.
His studio.
Your stomach twisted into a knot. The worst possible place for a lost love letter. If Jihoon found it... No, no, no. Your feet spun you around, and you half-ran, half-speed-walked straight to his studio. The hallway stretched longer than usual, each step filled with growing dread.
Please be unlocked. Please be unlocked.
When you finally arrived, you tried the handle. It didn’t budge. Locked. It meant you couldn’t search, but it also meant he might be the one to find it. You pressed your forehead against the cool metal of the door, closing your eyes as you mumbled, "Why did I have to keep that stupid letter?"
You stayed there for a moment, face buried in your hands. It was too much. If he read it, if he knew you’d been crushing on him for years, you’d never be able to face him again. Forget quitting the company—you'd have to leave the country.
You went home that night but didn’t sleep. Your mind was a constant loop of what ifs and he’s going to find it. You called in sick the next day, and the day after that too. You were too paralyzed with embarrassment to step foot into the company. You lay in bed, scrolling aimlessly on your phone, hoping, praying that no one would text you with "OMG, did you write this?" or "You dropped something important, lol."
But there was silence. No texts from Jihoon. No invites for lunch. No coffee requests. No random desserts dropped off at your studio.
That’s not like him.
Your heart sank.
Was he avoiding you? Did he already find it?
You buried your face in a pillow, letting out a groan so loud it echoed in your small apartment. Why am I like this? You scolded yourself, biting your lip as you tried not to spiral further.
You should’ve burned it. The day they told you that you wouldn’t debut, you should’ve set it on fire and watched it turn to ash. But no, you kept it like a fool, like a keepsake of dreams that were never meant to be.
Tears of frustration pricked at your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Instead, you squeezed your eyes shut and let your mind drift to the past, to the day you met Lee Jihoon for the first time.
He wasn’t like the other producers. Everyone knew him as the genius behind Seventeen’s hits, but he didn’t carry himself like someone with that much success. He was humble. He'd visit the trainees during evaluations and offer advice, not just on vocals but on mental strength too. "Don’t be too hard on yourself. Progress isn’t always fast, but it’s still progress," he’d said once, looking right at you.
You remembered that moment too vividly. His eyes were sharp but kind, his tone firm but gentle. He never talked down to any of you, never made anyone feel small. He didn’t have to do that. He didn’t owe anyone his time. But he did it anyway.
That’s when it started, you realized. That’s when I started falling for him.
You had tried to crush it—tried to leave it behind when you left the trainee life. But love, it seemed, was a stubborn thing. It stayed with you. It followed you into every recording session, every lunch break where he'd pop in with a "What are you eating today?" It lingered in every glance you stole at him when he got too caught up in work to notice anyone else was watching.
And now, after all that, he might know.
You let out another groan, curling into a ball on your bed. Please, please, please, don't let him find it. Don't let him know.
But as you lay there, face buried in the blanket, your phone buzzed. You ignored it at first, too emotionally exhausted to care. It buzzed again. You reached out, grabbed it, and squinted at the screen.
It was from Jihoon.
"You feeling better?"
Your heart stopped for a beat. Then, it kicked up double-time.
Is he asking just because I haven’t been in? you wondered. Or is this about the letter?
You stared at the message like it might explode. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, second-guessing every response you could possibly send. Should you pretend nothing was wrong? Should you ask him directly?
Finally, you typed back,
"Yeah, just needed a break. Thanks for checking in."
Your eyes stayed locked on the screen, waiting, dreading, hoping he wouldn’t bring it up. But seconds later, his reply popped up.
"Okay. Come eat with me tomorrow."
Your heart jumped. Does that mean he didn’t find it?
Or worse—did it mean he did find it and was waiting for you to confess?
You flopped back onto the bed, phone on your chest, staring blankly at the ceiling. No sleep for you tonight, that was for sure.
*
“I saw it.”
Jihoon’s words hit you like a bolt of lightning. You froze, your body stiffening as you sat on the couch. Your eyes darted to him, heart thudding so loud it echoed in your ears. He saw it?
“Y-You did?!” you blurted, sitting up so fast you nearly gave him a heart attack. His eyes widened in surprise at your sudden outburst. He hadn’t expected that kind of reaction from you.
Jihoon watched you with mild confusion as you rubbed your face aggressively, letting out a muffled groan that sounded oddly like a character from an anime. Your face was flushed, a deep red spreading across your cheeks, and you refused to meet his eyes.
"You okay? You look kinda… flustered," he asked, leaning forward slightly, his eyes scanning you like you might be running a fever.
You sucked in a sharp breath and suddenly shouted, "I am!" Your hands shot into the air in a dramatic fist-pumping motion.
He blinked at you, entirely thrown off by your antics.
"When did you see it?" you asked in a rush, your voice laced with nerves.
"This morning," he replied casually, watching for your reaction.
You groaned like the world was crumbling around you, burying your face in your hands as you muttered something incoherent. Your words came out so fast and garbled that he could barely understand you. It was like you were speaking in fast-forward while trying to sink into the couch cushions to disappear.
“I’m so sorry,” you muttered, peeking out from behind your hands, only to bury yourself back in. "I have no courage to face you. I should've burned it. I should've burned it."
Jihoon blinked in confusion, tilting his head. “Huh? What are you talking about?”
You lifted your head, your eyes wide with a mixture of horror and disbelief. “Don’t act like you don’t know! You saw it! I sent you so many letters before! How could you tell me not to worry after you saw it?!”
“…Letters?” Jihoon leaned back, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. His head tilted as if he was trying to piece together a puzzle with missing pieces.
He was about to mention your viraled video from the producing camp month ago. He saw it this morning.
"Yes, the letters!" you said, your voice higher than usual. "The ones I used to leave near the bathroom! I sent them for you, Jihoon! For you!"
His eyes squinted as if his brain had finally caught up. Slowly, his eyes widened. "Wait. You were the one sending those letters?"
You didn’t answer, but the silence was all he needed. His gaze shifted to his desk, and then, like a lightbulb switching on, his expression changed. His eyes darted to the small box on his shelf—the one filled with old, unopened envelopes he’d kept for years.
“These?” he asked, walking to the desk and pulling out the box. He lifted it, glancing between you and the letters as realization struck him like a bolt of lightning.
Your eyes widened in horror, your breath caught in your throat. "You kept them?!"
He turned toward you, his lips twitching with something between shock and disbelief. “You mean… these letters were from you?” He opened the box, pulling out one of the older letters, his fingers carefully brushing over the familiar handwriting. He could almost hear your voice in his head now, realizing that the tone of the letters, the way certain phrases were written—it was you. It had always been you.
Jihoon looked back at you, his voice soft with wonder. “All this time… you were the one sending these?”
You buried your face in your hands, your whole body curling into the couch like a ball. Your ears burned red, and you muttered, “Yes, yes, it was me, okay? I’m sorry. I was young and stupid. I thought it was cute back then.” Your voice cracked with embarrassment. “I thought I could be bold through paper, but I couldn’t say a single thing to your face.”
Jihoon blinked, his gaze softening as he stared at you. Her? he thought to himself. All those letters he used to read when he was exhausted, those kind words that gave him strength when he was burnt out. The sender was you. You.
He placed the box on the table and picked up the envelope you'd pulled from under the couch earlier—the one that had started this whole mess, when you realized he wasn't talking about the letter then you had searched for it around his studio. His fingers moved to open it, his eyes darting to you for permission.
You saw his intent and bolted upright. "Wait, don't read that one!" You reached for it, but he quickly lifted it out of reach, his eyes narrowing playfully.
"Why not?" he asked, his voice tinged with amusement now.
"Because!" you yelled, grabbing for it as he lifted it higher. "It's different from the others! Just give it back!"
"Different how?" he teased, still holding it above his head like he was holding candy away from a child. “More heartfelt? More honest?”
“Oppa!” you pleaded, standing on your toes, your hands gripping his arm in desperation.
But it was too late. He had already opened the envelope and pulled out the neatly folded letter. His eyes scanned the page, his playful smirk slowly disappearing with each line he read. His lips parted as his eyes moved slowly across the words, soaking in every single confession, every single feeling you'd buried in the ink.
I’ve liked you since the first day I saw you. I’ve tried to stop, I really did, but you kept being kind. You kept being you.
His heart pounded. His fingers tightened around the paper. His throat felt dry.
If you’re reading this, I’m either braver than I’ve ever been or the most cowardly I’ve ever felt. Because I never had the courage to tell you to your face. So this letter is my last attempt. I’m sorry it took me so long.
Jihoon swallowed the lump in his throat. His heart felt too big for his chest, like it might burst from the sheer weight of what he’d just read.
He looked at you. You stood there, eyes squeezed shut, looking like you wanted the ground to swallow you whole. You were biting your lip, your face still stained red with embarrassment.
"All this time…” he whispered, his eyes never leaving you. “You’ve liked me since then?"
You didn’t answer, didn’t move, didn’t breathe. You just stood there, eyes squeezed shut like a kid waiting for the storm to pass.
“Do you still like me now?” he asked softly, stepping toward you. His voice was so gentle it barely registered at first. It wasn’t teasing. It wasn’t mocking. It was… sincere.
Your eyes slowly opened, and you looked up at him, lips parting in surprise.
He took another step toward you, now close enough that you could feel the warmth of his presence. His eyes searched yours for an answer. “Do you still like me?”
You bit your lip, eyes darting to the side. You’d come this far—might as well jump off the cliff now.
“…Yes,” you whispered. Your eyes flickered back to him like you were bracing for rejection. “I still do.”
For a second, neither of you moved. Silence hung in the air, heavy but not uncomfortable. Jihoon’s gaze softened, his lips tugging into a small, thoughtful smile.
"You're such an idiot," he said with a small laugh, his eyes crinkling with warmth.
Your heart stopped. "Excuse me?!"
"I mean, you could’ve just told me," he said, taking another step forward, so close you had to tilt your head up to meet his eyes. “You think I’m scary or something?”
“Back then, yes!” you blurted, cheeks heating up. “You are Woozi of Seventeen! You were the genius idol-producer. Who was I supposed to be?”
His eyes searched yours like he was seeing you for the first time. “You were you,” he said, his voice so soft it made your breath hitch. His gaze flickered to your lips for a second, then back to your eyes. “And you’re still you.”
He lifted the letter slightly. "Do you want me to burn this?"
You nodded weakly, still not trusting yourself to speak.
"Too bad," he said, tucking it into his pocket.
"Hey—!"
"I’m keeping it," he said firmly, his eyes locking on yours. "I’m keeping all of them."
This time, it was Jihoon’s face that turned a little red. His gaze dropped, but his smile lingered.
“Call it my treasure.”
*
The recording studio buzzed with quiet excitement as the final track of Seventeen’s upcoming album played through the speakers. It was a masterpiece—a blend of styles and sounds that showcased every member’s unique color. But there was something else everyone noticed.
Your name.
There it was, listed as a contributor on almost every track. It wasn’t the first time you’d worked on Seventeen’s albums, but this was different. Your involvement was undeniable, and the members couldn’t resist poking fun at Jihoon for it.
Mingyu leaned back in his chair, his grin wide as ever. “Looks like you don’t need Bumzu hyung anymore, huh?” His voice was full of mischief, his eyes locked on Jihoon.
“I need him!” Jihoon shot back, sitting up straight, his eyes darting toward Bumzu as if to prove his point. “Don’t twist it, Mingyu.”
But it was too late. That one comment had already ignited a chain reaction.
“Yeah, right,” Seungkwan snorted from across the room, his legs kicked up on the armrest of the couch. “Hyung’s been acting brand new ever since she started showing up in the credits.” He made air quotes around she as if it wasn’t already clear who he meant.
“Next thing you know, Jihoon will start writing love songs,” Joshua teased, his smile too innocent to be trustworthy.
“Check the tracklist,” Jeonghan chimed in, scrolling on his phone with a knowing smirk. “He already did.”
The room erupted into laughter. Even Seokmin, who was trying to stay professional, ended up doubling over, clutching his stomach.
Jihoon’s ears turned red almost instantly, and he pressed his back against the couch, arms crossed, sinking as low as possible. “Y’all are so annoying.”
“Oh, we’re annoying?” Soonyoung cackled, standing up to point an accusatory finger at him. “You’ve been humming that one hook for weeks, and I thought it was just some random melody. But nope! Turns out it’s a love letter disguised as a chorus!”
“Shut up.” Jihoon threw a pillow at him, but Soonyoung dodged it with ease, his laughter only getting louder.
Mingyu, never one to miss an opportunity, leaned forward on the table, resting his chin in his hands like he was about to spill some tea. “I mean, it makes sense now. Y’know, after that news.”
Everyone knew exactly what that was.
It had been months since Soonyoung made his now-infamous declaration in their group chat. He sent a long written-text claimed it by TigerNews, complete with a dramatic “🔥BREAKING NEWS🔥” articles in their group chat.
Soonyoung had 'officially announced' the relationship with a fake headline that read, 'Seventeen’s Woozi and Rising Producer Y/N Confirm Relationship in Exclusive Interview with TigerNews' — complete with dramatic quotes and a grainy, zoomed-in photo of you two at the company cafe.
The chat had gone wild. Memes were shared. Jokes were made. No one was spared.
“Congratulations, Romeo and Juliet!”
Minghao had typed with so many heart emojis it made the whole chat lag.
“Don’t embarrass them, hyung.”
Seungkwan had written right after, only to follow up with,
“Actually, never mind. EMBARRASS THEM.”
Needless to say, the teasing had been relentless ever since.
“Honestly,” Jeonghan drawled, flipping his phone like it was nothing, “this whole time, I was suspicious. My detective work was getting exhausting.”
“Detective work?” Seokmin scoffed. “You were just being nosy.”
“And I was right,” Jeonghan fired back, tossing a gummy bear into his mouth with a triumphant grin.
Back in the present, Bumzu leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, his eyes locked on Jihoon. Unlike the others, his teasing had a sharper edge. "He actually does need me," Bumzu said with a grin so sly it could cut glass.
“See?” Jihoon pointed at him like Bumzu was his last lifeline. “Exactly!”
But Bumzu wasn’t done. “He needs me to make sure he keeps his hands to himself.”
The entire room went silent for half a second before absolute chaos broke loose. Seungkwan’s scream echoed like an airhorn. Mingyu banged on the table, his laughter so loud it could be heard in the hallway. Soonyoung was on the floor, rolling around like he’d just seen the funniest thing of his life.
“NOOOO—!” Jihoon’s face burned bright red, his hands flying up to cover his eyes. He sank so low into the couch it looked like he was trying to disappear into the cushions. "I'M LEAVING!" he declared, attempting to get up, but Mingyu shoved him back down.
“Stay right there, hyung.” Mingyu grinned like a cat that just cornered a mouse. “We’re not done.”
Jeonghan leaned in, his eyes practically glittering with mischief. “So tell me, Jihoon, how long have you been ‘needing’ Bumzu hyung's supervision?”
“SHUT. UP.” Jihoon threw his second pillow, but Jeonghan caught it with one hand like it was nothing.
“Ohoho, look at him!” Seokmin gasped, pointing like he’d seen a rare species in the wild. “Look at his face! Redder than a cherry!”
Bumzu leaned forward, his grin widening. “You know, if you just admitted it, they’d probably leave you alone.”
“That’s a lie and you know it,” Jihoon shot back, glaring at him with the intensity of a supernova.
“Yeah, you’re right,” Bumzu laughed, tossing a piece of candy into his mouth. “But it’s still funny.”
For the next few minutes, the teasing didn’t let up. Everyone had something to say, whether it was about your name in the credits or Jihoon’s ‘secret’ love songs. They teased him about how much you were in his head, how his melodies were sounding “suspiciously romantic” lately, and how even his synth choices had more "color" than before.
Jihoon sat there, his face a permanent shade of red, trying not to combust. He leaned back against the couch, tilting his head up toward the ceiling, eyes closed like he was begging the universe to end his suffering.
"How am I supposed to survive this in the future?" he muttered to himself.
Bumzu clapped him on the shoulder, his grin far too wide. "Oh, buddy, this is just the beginning."
"Please stop," Jihoon groaned. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“Nah,” Bumzu said, shaking his head. “I’m on her side now.”
The room burst into chaos once again, and Jihoon could only bury his face in his hands, wondering how he’d survive the next album.
genre — smut, explicit sexual content, soft sex, riding
synopsis — johnny surprises you with a gift—delicate lace lingerie, wrapped neatly with a note that reads, “for later.” when you step into the bedroom that night, wearing it just for him, he’s already waiting, sprawled across the bed, his dark gaze raking over you like he’s ready to devour. “you’ve been so naughty this year,” he murmurs, his voice low and teasing as he pulls you into his lap. his hands roam your body, deliberate and possessive, before he guides you down onto his cock, making you ride him slow and deep. every roll of your hips draws a growl from his chest, his words filthy and unrelenting as he promises to make you pay for every sinful thought you’ve put in his head this year—until you’re shaking, speechless, and ruined.
[fic ml]
Christmas with Johnny had been something out of a dream, the kind of day that felt stitched together from fleeting moments of joy and laughter, each one lingering in your chest long after it passed. His family had welcomed you with open arms—warmth and teasing banter flowing effortlessly as they crowded the kitchen, passing plates and sharing stories. Johnny was the same there as he was with you: a gravitational force. The kind of man who, with just one look, could make everyone in the room feel seen and adored.
You’d stolen glances at him all day, watching as he carried plates of food to the table, effortlessly charming his mom with a kiss to her cheek and cracking up his cousins with stories only he could tell. He’d sneak a hand around your waist as he passed, or a fleeting kiss to your temple, grounding you amidst the chaotic joy of it all.
But it wasn’t just his touch that stayed with you. It was the way he looked at you—like there was no one else in the world. Like you were the only person in the room, even when it was crowded and bustling. You didn’t miss how his gaze lingered as you leaned over to pour drinks, or how he’d pull you closer during lulls in conversation, his hand brushing against the back of your neck, sending shivers down your spine.
When the day began to wind down, after his family had retired to their rooms, Johnny had slipped a black box into your hands. There was no explanation, just a kiss to your forehead and a soft, “You’ll know when.” The package was light, almost weightless, and when you’d untied the ribbon back in the quiet of your shared room, your breath caught.
Delicate black lace.
It felt like something meant to be touched, something meant to unravel beneath careful hands. The fabric was impossibly soft, whisper-thin, designed to cling to your skin and leave nothing to the imagination. The bra was scandalous—lightly padded but sheer, with intricate lace that traced patterns across your skin, framing rather than concealing. The panties matched, high-cut at the hips with thin straps that barely held on, leaving little more than teasing glimpses of flesh. The garters were the final touch, their straps long and sinfully delicate, made to hug your thighs in a way that promised to leave faint indents.
Nestled beneath the lace was the note. Two words, written in his sharp, deliberate hand: For later.
You stared at the note for what felt like an eternity, tracing the letters with your thumb as heat bloomed low in your stomach. Johnny had always had a way of setting you on edge with the simplest gestures, but this felt different. More deliberate. A promise, an unspoken claim, a quiet challenge you could already feel tightening in your chest.
It had been impossible to look at him the same way after that. Sitting together on the couch, tucked under a blanket as a movie flickered on the TV, you could barely focus. Every time his hand brushed yours, every time he leaned in to murmur something against your ear, you felt that heat rise again. You could still see the box in your mind, the lace, the note, the quiet command that followed you like an echo.
When his family laughed and teased over another round of drinks, Johnny had been the picture of calm, his arm draped over your shoulders as if he didn’t know what he’d just done to you. But the way his fingers brushed your skin, the slight smirk he gave when you shifted under his touch—he knew. Of course, he knew.
By the time the day slipped into evening, your desperation was barely contained. It wasn’t just the thought of the lingerie, of how it would feel against your skin—it was the thought of him. Of his hands replacing the fabric, of the way his eyes would darken when he saw you wearing it. The way his voice would drop when he told you exactly what he was going to do to you.
Now, as you stood in front of the vanity mirror, you felt all of that heat and tension come rushing back. The lace clung to you in ways that made your pulse race, the garters digging lightly into your thighs, leaving faint indentations that were already making your skin hypersensitive. The straps of the bra felt thin and fragile against your shoulders, as if they were designed to slip loose with a single tug. You ran your hands down your sides, your fingertips brushing the lace as you adjusted it, the fabric stretching and pulling, its softness almost mocking in how little it truly covered.
And then there was him. You couldn’t stop thinking about Johnny—how he’d react when he saw you like this. You pictured the way his eyes would trail over you, slow and deliberate, devouring every inch of exposed skin. The way his mouth might curve into a slow, sinful smirk, his tongue flicking against the corner of his lips as he dragged his gaze over you again, and again.
Your breath hitched as you imagined the low, rough edge his voice would take on, how he’d murmur something filthy against your ear, his hands already replacing the straps, the lace, everything that had felt so delicate against your skin now gone. He’d make it clear, as he always did, that no fabric could ever come close to the way he wanted to feel you.
But for now, you waited. You smoothed your hands over your thighs again, trying to calm the way your body felt like it was vibrating, alive with anticipation. The note still sat on the corner of the vanity, its two words taunting you. For later. Every time you glanced at it, your pulse quickened, a reminder that this moment wasn’t entirely yours yet—that he was the one who decided when it would come. Your skin prickled with the thought of his hands replacing the lace you wore, the way his voice would break the tension you carried, low and commanding.
For him.
And it was only a matter of time.
You didn’t know that time was now.
The air shifts the moment you step into the room, so thick with tension it feels as though it presses against your skin, wrapping around you like a second layer. Johnny is there, sprawled on the edge of the bed as though he’s been waiting for you all night. His posture is lazy, but the sharpness in his gaze says otherwise. His chest is bare, catching the soft light in a way that highlights every curve of muscle, and his sweatpants hang low on his hips, teasing the deep cut of his V-line, the waistband threatening to slip lower with every breath. The heat radiating from him feels almost tangible, making the air between you dense, charged.
But it’s his eyes that snare you. They find you the moment you step inside, dark and steady, pulling you into their orbit with an intensity that steals the breath from your lungs. He doesn’t just look at you—he devours you, his gaze dragging over every inch of your body as though he’s already stripping you bare. The teasing smirk you know so well is gone, replaced by something far hungrier, something so unrelenting that your knees threaten to give way before he’s even spoken.
Johnny doesn’t move. Doesn’t say a word. He simply lifts one hand, crooking his finger in a silent command. Come here. The gesture is small, but it might as well be a tether wrapped around your body, pulling you forward.
Your feet carry you without hesitation, each step feeling heavier as the space between you disappears. The heat in his eyes follows your every movement, licking over your skin like a flame. His lips twitch, not quite a smile but a flicker of satisfaction, as though he already knows exactly how this is going to end and is savoring your ignorance of it.
“Stop,” he says, his voice low and calm, but the authority in it hits you like a bolt.
You freeze mid-step, your breath catching. He rises from the bed, slow and deliberate, his body fluid in its grace. There’s nothing hurried about the way he moves, yet every shift of muscle feels calculated, purposeful. As he comes to stand before you, the room shrinks until it feels like he’s the only thing occupying the space.
He circles you once, his steps unhurried, his presence brushing against your skin even though he doesn’t touch you. His hand lifts, fingers hovering just above your shoulder, tracing the air as though he’s memorizing the curve of your collarbone, the slope of your neck. He doesn’t make contact, but the closeness of his hand leaves a trail of heat in its wake, maddening in its restraint.
“Do you have any idea,” he murmurs finally, his voice a low rasp that’s thick with tension, “what you’re doing to me right now?”
The words hit you like a physical touch, the rasp in his tone curling low in your belly. Your breath stutters as his eyes drag over you again, lingering on the lace clinging to your body like a second skin.
“Turn around,” he says, softer now, but the command laces through you like a current.
Your pulse spikes, and for a moment, hesitation flickers in your chest. But the sharp tilt of his brow eliminates any thought of resistance. Slowly, deliberately, you turn, every inch of your body burning under the weight of his stare. His gaze feels like a physical thing, tracing the line of your back, the soft dip of your waist, the way the lace hugs the curve of your hips.
“Slower,” he murmurs, the word a low, deliberate drawl.
The sound of your breathing fills the room, uneven and shaky, as the silence around you thickens. His attention presses against you, peeling away your composure layer by layer, leaving you trembling under the strain of his presence.
“Good girl,” he says finally, his voice rough, edged with something darker. The praise ripples through you, pooling low in your belly, leaving you weak in its wake.
When you turn to face him again, his expression softens just slightly, but the hunger in his eyes is sharper now, cutting through the stillness. He sinks back onto the bed, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees as his fingers tap against his thigh.
But then his hand drops lower, skimming over the waistband of his sweatpants. Without looking away from you, he pushes the fabric down slightly, just enough to free himself, his cock hard and heavy in his hand. His fingers wrap around himself, stroking slowly as his eyes rake over your body.
“Look at me,” he murmurs, his voice rough with need. “I want you to see what you’re doing to me.”
Your knees nearly give out at the sight of him, the way his chest heaves as he works himself. A low groan slips from his lips, and the sound is enough to send heat flooding through your veins. His thumb swipes over the head of his cock, and his jaw tightens, his breath catching as he moans your name softly, like a plea.
“Take it off,” he says, the command sharper now, his movements slowing but no less deliberate. “Let me see you—all of you.”
Your fingers tremble as you reach for the straps of your lingerie. The lace catches slightly as you ease it down, your skin prickling with heat under his unrelenting gaze. His hand tightens around his cock, the movement sharper now, his strokes becoming rougher, more desperate. His breath hitches audibly as the fabric slips lower, baring more of you, and the deep groan that rumbles from his chest feels like it vibrates through the room.
“Fuck,” he mutters, the word raw and broken, his voice cracking under the weight of his need. His thumb drags over the tip with a deliberate slowness, spreading the slickness there, and his hips jerk into his hand as if he can’t control himself. The sight of you—the lace slipping down your shoulders, the bare skin revealed inch by inch—draws another curse from his lips, this one louder, more guttural. “Look at you… God, I can’t—” His words cut off as his breath stutters, his head falling back briefly before his eyes snap back to yours, dark and devouring.
His hand works faster now, each stroke harder, more deliberate, as though he’s chasing something he knows he can’t quite catch. His other hand grips his thigh, knuckles white, as if he needs to steady himself against the force of his own arousal. “Do you even know—” His voice breaks, low and uneven, as his hips buck into his palm. “Do you know what you fucking do to me? Just standing there, teasing me like this… I can’t take it.”
When the lace finally falls away completely, you pause, your chest bare, your skin flushed under the heat of his gaze. His strokes falter, his hand tightening, his chest rising and falling in quick, uneven breaths. His jaw clenches, the tension in his body visible in the taut lines of his muscles as his moans grow louder, raw and unrestrained. He presses the heel of his hand against himself for a moment, his hips rolling up into the pressure, another desperate groan spilling from his lips.
“Come here,” he says, his voice low and wrecked, trembling with the weight of everything he’s holding back. His free hand lifts, fingers curling in a silent but unmistakable command. There’s no patience left in him, no restraint, only raw, unfiltered hunger. “Now,” he adds, the word dripping with desperation as his gaze locks onto yours, pulling you toward him like gravity.
The moment you’re within reach, he surges up from the bed, his hands gripping your waist as his mouth crashes against yours. The kiss is hard, demanding, his lips moving against yours with a heat that leaves you dizzy. His hands slide down to your thighs, gripping firmly as he lifts you effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist instinctively.
Johnny walks you to the bed, the kiss never breaking, his mouth devouring yours like he’s starving for it. When he sits back down, settling you on his lap, your legs still around his waist, he pulls back just enough to catch his breath. His forehead presses to yours, his hands splaying against your back to hold you close.
“You’re fucking unreal,” he murmurs, his voice rough, thick with reverence, his breath hot and uneven as it brushes against your lips. His gaze locks onto yours, unwavering, his pupils blown wide with a hunger so raw it feels almost tangible. There’s a heat in his tone that wraps around you, seeping into your skin, making you feel exposed under the sheer weight of his desire. “And I’m not letting you go,” he rasps, the words landing heavy, a promise more than a statement, his grip on your waist tightening as if to ensure you understand just how much he means it.
“You’ve been driving me insane,” he mutters, his voice dripping with frustration and lust as his hands slide lower, fingers curling into the curve of your ass. His touch is deliberate, possessive, the press of his fingertips leaving faint imprints that burn into your skin like a brand. “All night,” he growls, his tone breaking slightly as his restraint begins to unravel, his lips brushing against the edge of your jaw. “Teasing me, fucking testing me. Do you have any idea what that’s done to me?” His voice catches at the end, low and broken, his words laced with a desperate edge that betrays just how close he is to snapping.
“I hoped it would,” you whisper, the words spilling from your lips like a confession, your voice soft but loaded with intent. Your nails skim the hard lines of his shoulders, trailing down his back with just enough pressure to make him groan. “I wanted you to lose control,” you add, your tone sultry, teasing, your body pressing closer to his as you feel the tension in him coil even tighter, like a live wire threatening to spark.
His hands slide from your waist to your hips, his touch deliberate, possessive, the warmth of his palms searing into your skin. His eyes rake over you, dark and hungry, taking in every curve, every inch now bared to him. He tilts his head slightly, his lips parting as if to speak, but instead, a low groan escapes him, raw and guttural, vibrating through your chest. The sound alone makes your thighs clench around his waist, and his fingers tighten against your skin in response, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you. “You’re everything,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper but weighted with something heavy, something that makes your chest ache and your pulse race.
Slowly, his lips find your collarbone, pressing open-mouthed kisses along the delicate line of your neck, his breath hot against your skin. Each kiss lingers, his tongue teasing the sensitive curve before he moves lower, trailing down your chest. His hands slide up your back, fingers splaying as they press you closer, arching you into him. He pauses, his lips hovering just above your breast, his eyes flicking up to meet yours. The intensity in his gaze is nearly too much, and when he finally presses his mouth to your skin, sucking lightly, it sends a jolt of electricity straight through you. “I could spend all night just like this,” he mutters against you, his voice rough with need, his teeth grazing you just enough to make your breath hitch.
You shift against him instinctively, the hard press of him against your core impossible to ignore, and his hips buck up in response, a sharp gasp tearing from his lips. “You’re going to ruin me,” he growls, his voice low and strained, his hands sliding down to grip your hips tightly, anchoring you against him. The friction sends sparks shooting through your body, and you can’t stop the soft moan that escapes you. He swears under his breath, the sound rough and needy as he leans back slightly, his eyes locked onto yours. “But if you think I’m letting you take control…” His lips curl into a wicked smile, his fingers digging into your hips as he shifts, rolling his hips against yours in a deliberate, teasing rhythm. “Think again.”
His lips find your neck, his breath warm as he presses soft, open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone, each one slower than the last. His hands slide up your back, fingers trailing over your skin as if mapping every inch of you, his touch deliberate, reverent, grounding you even as the tension between you coils tighter.
Johnny’s grip tightens as you grind against him, his thumbs pressing into the soft curve of your hips, guiding you toward where he wants you most. The anticipation is unbearable, your body taut with need as his hands hold you firm, his control keeping you balanced on the edge. You shift slightly, testing, and the low groan that rumbles from his chest vibrates through your body like a shockwave.
“Don’t tease me,” he mutters, his voice thick and edged with a warning. His hands slide lower, gripping your thighs with a pressure that makes you feel claimed, branded by his touch. “Not tonight. I’ve waited long enough.”
You swallow hard, your breath hitching as your fingers hook into the waistband of his sweatpants. The fabric resists briefly before sliding down, freeing him completely. The sight of him—hard, thick, and already pulsing with need—makes your thighs tremble, your body tightening in anticipation of the stretch to come.
Your breath stutters as you lower yourself onto him, the sensation impossibly deep, the pressure making your whole body tense and tremble. The stretch is deliciously overwhelming, every inch of him filling you slowly as your knees dig into the mattress on either side of his hips. His hands steady you, gripping your waist with a firmness that borders on reverence.
“Fuck,” he mutters, his voice thick and unsteady. His chest heaves as his eyes snap to yours, dark and heavy with hunger. “You feel so—” His words cut off with a sharp inhale, and he tilts his head back slightly, his throat working to suppress a groan. “Perfect,” he breathes. “You feel perfect.”
Your fingers press against his chest, the heat of his skin pulsing under your touch as you anchor yourself. The stretch of him is all-consuming, leaving you trembling as your body adjusts to the fullness. Your breath stutters, catching in your throat as you settle completely onto him, his size forcing you to take a moment just to breathe. His hands are firm on your hips, grounding, but he doesn’t rush you. Instead, his thumbs trace slow circles into your skin, a steady contrast to the chaotic rhythm of your heart.
“You’re something else,” Johnny murmurs, his voice low and rough, cutting through the heavy silence of the room. His gaze flickers from where your bodies are joined to your face, and the intensity in his eyes makes your pulse quicken. “Do you feel what you’re doing to me?”
The weight of his words sinks deep, igniting something that feels electric. You exhale shakily, your fingers sliding up to his shoulders, gripping tight as you begin to move. Slowly at first, rolling your hips in deliberate circles that make every inch of contact burn hotter. His reaction is immediate—a sharp inhale, followed by a groan that rumbles low in his chest, reverberating through your body.
“Fuck,” he mutters, his grip on your waist tightening as if he’s barely holding himself back. “Just like that. Take your time. I want to feel all of you.”
The deliberate pace feels torturous, the tension building with every movement. The way his hands guide you, firm but never forceful, only amplifies the heat between you. His thumbs dig into your skin, just enough to leave faint impressions, a mark of possession that matches the hunger in his gaze.
“God, you’re gorgeous,” he says, his voice softer now, laced with something almost reverent. His hands roam up your sides, fingertips grazing your ribs as if mapping you out. “I could watch you like this forever.”
His words send a shiver racing down your spine, and you can’t help the way your body responds, your movements growing bolder, more insistent. You lift yourself just enough to let him slip deeper with each downward motion, the slow grind of your hips wringing a growl from his chest that feels primal, unrestrained.
Johnny leans forward suddenly, the change in angle pressing his mouth to your collarbone. His lips part against your skin, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses that make you arch against him. His hands slide to the curve of your back, pulling you closer as his teeth graze the delicate line of your shoulder.
“You’ve been torturing me all day,” he murmurs, his voice muffled against your skin, thick with a heat that sends sparks shooting straight through you. “Walking around like this—like you’re mine to take, whenever I want.”
You can’t help the gasp that escapes you, your nails dragging against his shoulders as the words settle low in your belly, tightening the knot that’s already coiled there. “I am,” you whisper, your voice shaky but certain. “Yours. Always.”
He groans at that, the sound dark and guttural, and his hands drop to your hips again, his grip possessive. He lets you keep control, but there’s no mistaking the way he pulls you down harder, forcing you to take him deeper, his own need threading through every motion.
The rhythm between you grows desperate, each roll of your hips met with a thrust of his that sends shockwaves through your body. His name tumbles from your lips, broken and breathless, as the heat between you reaches a fever pitch.
“Look at me,” Johnny commands, his voice rough, laced with an intensity that makes you tremble. You force your eyes open, meeting his gaze, and the raw hunger there is enough to leave you undone. “That’s it,” he murmurs, his hands sliding up your thighs to grip you tighter. “I want to see every fucking second of this.”
You lose yourself in the connection, the way he watches you, unrelenting and completely captivated. The sound of your bodies moving together fills the room, joined by his low groans and the broken gasps you can’t hold back. His fingers slide higher, his touch firm but reverent as he strokes along your sides, as if he’s trying to memorize you.
“Johnny,” you whisper, the word trembling on your lips as you try to keep up with the fire building inside you.
“Not yet,” he growls, cutting you off with a roll of his hips that leaves you breathless. “You’re not done. Not until I say.”
He leans forward again, his forehead pressing to yours as his movements slow just enough to leave you aching for more. His hands slide to your lower back, pulling you flush against him, the heat of his skin branding yours. “Feel that?” he murmurs, his voice low, the restraint in it fraying with every word. “That’s what you do to me. Every fucking time.”
Your reply is a gasp, a broken sound that only makes his lips curl into a smirk. His hands guide you again, pulling you into a rhythm that’s slower but somehow more intense, the deliberate drag of his cock inside you wringing every ounce of control from your body.
“You’re mine,” Johnny murmurs, his voice quieter now, but no less commanding. His lips graze your jaw, his breath warm as he presses soft, teasing kisses to your neck. “Every inch of you. Every sound. Every thought. You’re mine.”
Your body trembles as you settle against his chest, his heat enveloping you, grounding you in the aftermath of everything he’s just pulled from you. His hands stroke along your back, fingers tracing slow, soothing patterns, a stark contrast to the way his chest still heaves beneath you. The silence in the room is broken only by your ragged breaths mingling with his, a symphony of intimacy that feels as raw as it does sacred.
Johnny’s lips press against your temple, soft and lingering, like he’s trying to pull you back from the edge you’ve just been teetering on. But the tension in his body tells you he’s not finished. His hands grip your hips again, firmer this time, and the way he tilts his head back to look at you—his gaze molten and unrelenting—sends another shiver racing down your spine.
“You think I’m done with you?” he murmurs, his voice low and dangerous, the rasp in his tone igniting something deep inside you. His fingers dig into your skin just enough to leave a mark, his lips curling into a smirk that’s equal parts satisfaction and promise. “Not yet. You’ve still got more to give.”
You can only whimper in response, your body pliant under his touch as he lifts you slightly, shifting his hips beneath you. The motion drags his cock against your oversensitive walls, and the sensation pulls a gasp from your lips. He watches you, his eyes never leaving yours, drinking in every twitch, every tremor, every shaky breath as he guides you back down, slowly, deliberately.
“You’re going to take all of me,” he growls, his voice rougher now, edged with a hunger that makes your stomach flip. “Every inch. Over and over, until you can’t think about anything but me.”
The words barely register before he moves, his hips rolling up to meet yours with devastating precision. The friction is intense, every thrust dragging pleasure and pain in equal measure through your body. You cling to him, your nails raking down his chest as he sets a rhythm that leaves no room for anything but the heat between you.
“Daddy!,” you choke out, your voice splintering as his thrusts grow impossibly deeper, harder, shaking your entire frame. The sound of his name on your lips, desperate and broken, tears from your throat like a scream, sharp and pleading. His grip on your hips is bruising now, his fingers digging into your flesh with the kind of raw possession that steals the breath from your lungs.
“Say it again,” he growls, the sound feral and guttural, his breath hot against your neck as he leans in, his teeth grazing the delicate line of your throat. His hand tangles in your hair, yanking your head back so your body arches against him, exposing you completely. “Scream it for me,” he commands, his voice dark and dripping with authority, his hips snapping up with enough force to make your thighs tremble as you try to keep your balance.
“Daddy!!!!” you cry, louder this time, your voice cracking under the sheer force of him, your body trembling uncontrollably as he drives into you, relentless. Each thrust leaves you gasping, your nails raking down his chest, clinging to him as the coil inside you tightens to an unbearable degree. Your legs tremble where they straddle his hips, barely able to keep up with the brutal rhythm he sets, his cock filling you so completely that it’s all you can feel, all you can think about.
“That’s it,” he snarls, his voice a raw, unrestrained growl as he watches you unravel completely, every inch of your body trembling as you ride him without control, without shame. His free hand slides down to grip your ass, fingers digging into the flesh with a possessive force, lifting you higher before slamming you down onto him so hard it knocks the breath from your lungs. The wet, obscene sound of your bodies meeting echoes through the room, mixing with your broken cries and his guttural, feral groans.
“Look at you,” he hisses, his voice dripping with reverence and hunger, his lips parting as his gaze rakes over your flushed, sweat-slicked body. His eyes darken further as he takes in the way you tremble above him, every curve of you bare and glistening under the dim light. “That’s my good girl,” he growls, the words rough but laced with something so possessive it feels like they burn into your skin. “So fucking perfect. Completely mine,” he spits, his grip tightening as his hips snap up harder, dragging another scream from your lips, his focus locked entirely on the way you’re coming apart for him.
His movements grow more erratic, more desperate, his control slipping with every scream of his name that tears from your lips. You feel his hand move between your bodies, his thumb finding your clit with devastating precision. The pressure sends a jolt of pleasure shooting through you, and your body bucks against him, completely out of control. Your head falls back, a scream ripping from your throat, and he growls beneath you, the sound vibrating through every inch of your body.
“You’re mine,” he growls, his voice a broken rasp as he shifts again, angling his hips to hit a spot that has you crying out, your hands scrambling for purchase on his shoulders. “Every fucking inch of you, mine.”
“Yours,” you choke out, your voice trembling, raw with desperation as your nails drag down his chest, leaving faint trails against his flushed skin. Your body arches uncontrollably, hips grinding down to take him deeper, the stretch of him sending waves of pleasure crashing through you. “All yours, Daddy,” you gasp, your breath hitching as the sharp thrust of his hips makes you cry out, your hands clawing at him for purchase. ““Fuck, baby, I can feel you—so close, so ready to fall apart for you.” The words spill out unrestrained, dripping with need, your body moving of its own accord, frantic and aching to keep the pace he’s driving into you. “Please,” you whimper, the heat between you unbearable, your voice breaking as the pleasure tears through every inch of you. “I can’t—God, I can’t — ”
The possessiveness in his tone is mirrored in the way he grips you, his hands unrelenting as they guide your every movement, grounding you even as he drives you closer to unraveling. His thrusts are deliberate, claiming every inch of you with a force that leaves you gasping, your body trembling under the sheer intensity. The tension inside you spirals tighter, an unbearable heat coiling low in your belly as you feel yourself careening toward the edge, your limbs shaking from the effort of keeping up with him. His words cut through the haze clouding your thoughts, rough praise that ignites something primal within you, breaking down every last barrier. Instinct takes over, your hips meeting his with a desperate urgency, your body seeking more, needing more. Each arch of your back pulls him deeper, each roll of your hips dragging you closer to a release that builds in waves, crashing through you with an intensity that leaves you breathless, consumed entirely by him.
“Johnny,” you gasp, your voice raw and trembling as your head falls forward, your forehead pressing against his, sweat slicking your skin against his. “I’m—”
“I know,” he growls, cutting you off, his voice dripping with desperation, his breath scalding against your lips. “Let go for me, baby. I’ve got you.” His thumb finds your clit again, circling it with devastating precision, the slickness there only amplifying the intensity as your body seizes.
The added pressure sends you spiraling, the release tearing through you like a riptide, leaving you sobbing his name. Your walls clamp down on him, the sensation making him curse under his breath, his voice dark and broken as your cries echo in the air between you. Every tremor that wracks your body is met with his unwavering hands on your hips, holding you steady as you shudder uncontrollably in his arms, every nerve ending alight with unbearable pleasure.
“Good girl,” he rasps, his voice hoarse with lust and pride, the words spilling from him like a benediction. “So fucking perfect, squeezing me just like that.” The way he says it, filthy and reverent at the same time, sends another shiver racing through you, your nails digging into his shoulders for balance as his cock pulses deep inside you.
But he doesn’t stop. He can’t. His hips snap up into you with reckless abandon, his movements erratic and feral now, each thrust dragging a new cry from your throat. His control is gone, lost to the way you clench around him, your wetness coating every inch of him, making every movement slick and devastating. His hands grip your waist hard enough to bruise, pulling you down onto him like he can’t get deep enough, like he wants to bury himself in you completely.
“Fuck,” he groans, his voice rough and guttural, his head falling back as his chest heaves beneath you. “You feel so fucking good, so perfect around me.” The words are torn from him, raw and unfiltered, his nails biting into your skin as he surges up into you one last time. His release hits him like a tidal wave, a low, primal sound tearing from his throat as he spills into you, the warmth flooding your body in thick, hot waves.
The room is filled with the sound of your mingled gasps, your bodies still trembling in the aftermath as you collapse against him, your face buried in his neck. His arms wrap around you instantly, holding you close as though afraid to let you go, his lips pressing against your damp temple in a kiss that feels both grounding and worshipful.
“Merry Christmas,” he murmurs after a long moment, his voice low and spent but laced with a teasing warmth. His nose brushes yours, his lips tugging into a lazy, satisfied smile. “Guess we’ve earned a permanent spot on the naughty list.”
You let out a breathless laugh, the sound muffled against his chest as your fingers trace slow, aimless patterns along the sweat-slick skin of his shoulder. “Worth it,” you whisper, your voice soft and sure, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your cheek grounding you. And for now, that’s all that matters—just the two of you, tangled together, completely spent but entirely at peace.
A leaked message stating the obvious about Johnny was enough for you to finally have him.
johnny x Reader | Fluff but suggestive 🤭 | w.c: 1k
— Oh my God, those jeans are killer — Jaehyun started, practically squirming on the couch in the living room of the frat house where he, Johnny, Doyoung, and a few other guys lived. It was crazy how magnetic your presence was; every eye in the room turned to you when you walked in, like it was automatic. — What's her deal, huh?
— Aww, are you like this ‘cause she turned you down? — Johnny asked, sipping a beer and watching you, not like a creep, just admiring. You really were stunning, not only in looks but in brains, too. You worked part-time at a luxury store at the airport and were always looking flawless, though Johnny figured you’d still look flawless even with messy hair.
— Go on, alright? Everyone knows she’s into you, lover boy — Jaehyun pouted, which made Johnny grin and pinch his cheek like he was a little kid; with that look, he actually did look like a baby.
— Don’t play the victim. You’ll have plenty of girls chasing you — he rolled his eyes, and Johnny gave him a couple of gentle pats on the shoulder, then walked over to you, touching your waist softly when he reached you, his hand brushing against your soft skin peeking out from your crop top. — Hey.
— Hey — you practically choked out. Johnny grinned, leaving you a bit speechless. Your natural hair and the low-rise jeans you wore made you look absolutely perfect, but the blush on your cheeks, even before you’d had a drink, gave you an angelic vibe Johnny found himself totally obsessed with.
— You were amazing in the seminar today — he had to say something. You knew that now everyone knew about your crush on him, thanks to that accidentally leaked message to the whole school. It wasn’t anything sexual, but it did make him sound like some Greek god, which Johnny found funny and cute, even if he was already confident in himself. It was the first time someone had complimented him like that.
— Ah, I had to take a shot just before it started so I wouldn’t stammer — you admitted, suddenly unsure of what to do with your hands. How close were two people supposed to be when they weren’t actually a thing? Because right now, you felt incredibly close to him and wanted to laugh nervously. — John… about those messages, I didn’t mean…
— Nuzzle your face in my chest? You can do that — you couldn’t help it and laughed, covering your face with your hands like a shy little girl. You’d vented to the wrong person, that was clear, or your messages wouldn’t have been leaked, but everyone agreed with your words, including Johnny himself. He held you, guiding you back until your back met the wall. — What else do you want to do that you didn’t describe in those messages?
— Should I say it? — you smiled playfully, and Johnny smiled back, hooking a finger through the belt loop of your jeans, pulling you closer. Maybe it was the drink, or maybe it was the green light you gave for him to touch you, but he pulled you a bit closer by the waistband and leaned down to kiss your neck, licking the skin, sucking, and lightly grazing his teeth.
A quiet sigh escaped your lips before you realized. You definitely loved flirting, touches, and making out; you’d never gone all the way, and you felt nervous about how skilled Johnny seemed to be with his mouth, his hands, his whole body, honestly.
— I’ve been wanting to get close to you for a while but always thought you were kinda untouchable — Johnny admitted against your skin, and you practically burst at his confession. You had a confident air, like you didn’t care about anyone’s opinion, but all you wanted was for Johnny to feel the same way.
— Maybe for other guys… but not for you — you said with a smile, and Johnny moved even closer, kissing your cheek, the corner of your lips, but never quite reaching where you wanted. He was teasing, and you knew it from the little smirk he’d flash between a firm squeeze and a soft press of his lips against your skin. — Oh, for heaven’s sake, John.
You grabbed his silver chain that peeked out from his shirt, pulled it free, and kissed him, hard, filled with want, like you were devouring each other against the wall near the frat house door. Johnny tangled his fingers in your hair and pulled back gently, letting you catch your breath, both of you breathing heavily.
— Come on — he said, taking your hand and leading you up the stairs. You followed, weaving past people with drinks in hand, bumping into a few on the way. Johnny opened his room door, which he likely shared with another guy, given the second bed on the right side.
It looked like a typical high school guy’s room, which was kind of cute. Johnny had a shelf full of comics, and his room had its own bathroom; on the doorframe, there was a pull-up bar you couldn’t help but admire, picturing the sight of a shirtless Johnny using it. You felt like a little girl, and maybe, with him, that’s exactly what you were.
— Astroboy? — you asked, playing with a little figurine on his shelf.
— It suits me, doesn’t it?
— Definitely, you’re a star.
You smiled, watching him sitting on the single bed, then followed, sitting across from him, kissing him slowly, your hands exploring his chest with calm. Somehow, Johnny got you to wrap your legs around his waist, and you had to kick off your shoes in the process, which made him chuckle against your lips. Johnny caressed your back as his mouth explored your neck, kissing your skin so delicately it felt like his lips were velvet.
— Johnny… — you began, and he immediately met your gaze. — Hold on, it’s all good. It’s just that… I’ve never…
— Never? — he knew exactly what you meant.
— Only once, almost… but I freaked out, and… — Johnny left a soft kiss on your forehead.
— It’s okay; we don’t have to do anything tonight.
— But I love making out — you said, pressing your bodies even closer, and Johnny grinned, thinking you were way too perfect to be real.
🔮 preview. “That’s the funny thing about trust, isn’t it, Pirate King?” you ask, stepping closer to him. You look up into Johnny’s eyes, and he’s blown away by your natural beauty. “You’ll only find out if the trust is solid, when you’re in a moment of need.” A moment of need… watching your lips right now, Johnny’s in a deep moment of need.
tw/cw. Unprotected sex, wing kink, multiple reader orgasms, multiple sex positions, dirty talk, praise, worship, pussy eating, slight roughness, size kink, Johnny has a massive cock, inklings of captain kink, etc… I pet names: (hers) Princess.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 9.6k
🍭 aus. Pirate au, siren au, Captain!Johnny etc…
☀️ mlist + an. so I did a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon last month, and I'm a huge One Piece fan, and I wanted to tackle a pirate au :) I'm super pleased with how it turned out, and I hope you guys can appreciate this fantasy au too!
Prologue:
When Johnny had first become a pirate, he’d been taken under the wing of the most extraordinary man he’d ever known. The Pirate King had seen something in Johnny, who at that time was just a young man of thirteen. This King set out to teach Johnny everything he knew- and despite the fact that he was being groomed for the pirate crown, something in the back of Johnny’s mind felt as if the old King would ever die.
The two of them sailed for sixteen years, and Johnny watched his brave Captain and King cheat death more times than either of them could count or keep record of in their log book.
It feels unreal for Johnny now, as he sits next to his Captain’s bed, watching the most fearsome man he knows dwindle before his very eyes.
One good slice had been all it took to do him in, a slice, and a gruesome infection that followed, taKing a toll on the old pirate’s heart in a way Johnny could never have imagined possible.
“Before I die, there’s more I must tell you,” the Pirate King insists, reaching for Johnny’s wrist, which he holds in an iron grip despite his weakened state.
Johnny doesn’t have the heart to argue, he’ll hear his adopted father’s dying remarks if it’s the last thing he ever does.
“Confidence is key, my boy,” the Pirate King insists, a shiver running through him. There’s a sheen of sweat across his prominent brow, a sign of the fever that’s been killing him for days. He takes in a ragged breath before continuing. “The secret of the sirens is that they only prey-” he coughs, “only prey on pirates and sailors who have sins and baggage. This is a secret you too must pass down to your successor one day.”
Johnny’s not sure what to think as he grabs a cup of water to hold out to the old man, helping him drink. Sure, Johnny’s heard of sirens and mermaids, but he’s never actually seen any with his own two eyes. These must just be tall tales that his Captain’s exhausted mind is clenching at in the end- looking for something mythical to soothe him before he makes the leap into the great beyond.
“Regrets can’t have a place in your life, John,” the Pirate King continues, pushing the cup of water away and sending it clanging to the wooden floor of the ship. “You can’t be King if you feel regret, tell me you understand.”
“I understand,” Johnny assures his Captain, reaching for the cup. There’s no use wiping the water up, afterall, the wooden decks of the ship are worn and speckled with the signs of years of use. It’s a ship that has been thoroughly loved, and Johnny is already considering the option of getting one of his own to note the start of his pirate reign.
“You don’t understand,” the Pirate King sighs, relaxing back against his pillows, “but that’s alright. You’ll understand soon enough.” He takes a haggard breath, and Johnny watches his old weathered hands clutch at his bedding. “There’s a rite of passage every new Pirate King must take. You’ll sail to the Forbidden Island Chain, the Selkie Islands, where you’ll find the sirens and mermaids from the old tales. You’ll have to prove yourself once you’re there, prove your lack of regrets. Only the one true Pirate King, who is confident in all of his doings, can withstand their deadly songs.”
One:
When the old Pirate King had first told Johnny of his task, he hadn’t quite believed it. However, after his passing, Doyoung, the scribe/navigator/book keeper had approached Johnny to tell him this was very much a real rite of passage, and that he’d been gifted with explicit coordinates as well as reading materials to use to complete the journey.
Johnny had been an avid reader growing up, and while he’d read the stories of mermaids and sirens with extreme interest as a lad, he’d thought of the contents as more fiction than fact. It’s interesting now, to be a man of twenty-nine, rereading the books of his youth with a newfound view of reality.
The islands they’re headed to are a no man’s land. For as long as recorded pirate lore can remember, the Selkie islands have been home to mermaids and sirens. While many don’t believe in these mythical beasts, pirates can be a superstitious lot, and any who have risked the voyage, haven’t returned to tell their story. It’s as they always say, dead men tell no tales.
Sure, sirens and mermaids have supposedly ventured away from the islands, looking for men and sailors to drown, but the reports of that have been few and far inbetween in these past years, especially since the British Royal Navy has made a larger foothold as far as pirateering is concerned.
In the last leg of their trip, Johnny calls his men to the deck of The Neo. “This is our maiden voyage,” Johnny calls above the familiar sound of the sea. “We’re a new crew, and I don’t expect to have full loyalty yet, despite my standing as the future Pirate King. Some of you must be wondering about our destination. I’m sure you’ve all heard the tales of mermaids and sirens- and for the safety of everyone, I want to make sure we go into this with a full arsenal, which means, we all must know our enemy.”
Johnny turns his attention to Doyoung, who steps forward carrying a few of Johnny’s top reading materials.
“There’s a difference between sirens and mermaids,” Johnny starts, picking the first book up, “they’re not the same thing, although, that’s been lost as common knowledge in the past years. Mermaids are the easy ones, half fish, half woman, and as alluring as anything we’ve ever seen. They will draw you to the water, whether that be the edge of the boat, or the edge of land, and when you’re close enough, they grab you and drown you.”
“Do they eat us or fuck us?” one person calls, and Johnny looks up to see Lee Donghyuck blinking up at him. “I just mean, I’ve heard both,” the youngest pirate says, defending himself as a chorus of agreed murmurs erupts through Johnny’s new crew.
“That’s a good question,” Johnny admits. “One that is undetermined, as no survivors have ever come back from being dragged under the sea, and all other opinions are just conjecture.”
“Pff, conjecture,” someone scoffs.
Johnny knows he’s a lot more well read than anyone on his crew. He spent many many voyages as a young man in the old Pirate King’s library. The Pirate King had always been grooming him for the top position, and there’s a certain amount of smarts that have to be shown in order to excel at the role. Johnny is no ordinary pirate, which is what sets him apart from all others.
“Sirens, on the other hand,” Johnny continues, “are said to have been ladies in waiting to Persephone, from the Greek myths. When she was snatched away by Hades, her mother, Demeter, gave her ladies in waiting wings to search for her. Sirens are angelic creatures, in beauty, and in voice. They lure not with good looks alone, but with songs that bewitch. If they can, they’ll steal your soul right from your own mouth.”
Johnny knows now that a siren’s power has to do with the regrets you hold, which is why he’s spend the past two months forgiving himself for any and all misdemeanors.
“In the ancient Greek texts, they tell of beeswax used in The Odyssey, shoved into ears to make you unable to hear the siren’s song, that’s what we’ll do now as we approach the final day of our journey.”
“What?” someone bellows.
“Doyoung will hand out the beeswax, and you will all hopefully be immune to death unless you decide to wander to the ship’s edge and give yourself to the sirens and mermaids.”
“What about you, Captain?” Mark Lee speaks up. God, he’s too soft to be a pirate at times, but Johnny had hand picked him for a reason. He’s more thoughtful than most- in fact, the whole crew was chosen for a variety of reasons, and Johnny wouldn’t sail with anyone else.
“Part of my trial is to face the siren’s song unprotected, to prove that I’m the one true Pirate King,” Johnny explains.
Doyoung has begun to hand out the beeswax, and one look at his unamused face tells Johnny that his faithful scribe doesn’t believe in this whole little farce. It’s more than likely that due to a lack of belief, numerous men will fall under the spell of a mermaid of siren, and that’s something Johnny had accepted before they set sail.
No, Johnny loves his crew already, but he’d be lying if he said they were anything other than exactly what they are: pirates.
Two:
There’s a flurry of commotion among the palace halls today, whispers of the death of the old Pirate King, and the rise of a new one.
This isn’t something that happens frequently, and you’re at an age where the arrival of a new Pirate King can impact you directly.
You’re a Siren Princess, and out of all of your sisters, you’re your fathers favourite. As you walk to the great hall, you’re aware that the likelihood is you’ll be chosen to sing a song to the new Pirate King, as your mother had before you.
The new ship is approaching with speed, and soon, you’re being whisked off by your ladies in waiting to get dressed the part. A silky white dress is strewn upon your form, hugging all the right curves, and accentuating all that your womanly body has to offer. The siren’s song is more than sung lyrics, it’s an entire performance, and the jewels that are set to adorn your form are part of it.
“He’s here!” one of your sisters declares as she barges into your room, a mischievous look on her face.
Everyone erupts into a fit of enthusiasm, and you’re ushered outside, where you join your father in the palace’s temple courtyard that looks down to the cove.
It’s true, there’s a large pirate ship just entering the bay, bearing the skull and crossbones symbol of pirates on it’s proudly waving flag.
Your wings waver at the notion of flight, and you lick your lips in preparation, feeling a flurry of excitement beginning to build within your breast.
“Be good, my sweet,” your father encourages you. “Test the man.”
“I will,” you promise, allowing him to squeeze your hand as one last sign of affection before you take flight.
This first contact with the new Pirate King is a solitary mission, and you feel naked as your large, strong wings carry you from the mountain top and toward the pirate vessel in the bay.
As you approach, your eagle eyes narrow in on a man waiting by the bow of the ship. He’s leaning on the rail, a grin on his face as he watches you draw near. He’s handsome, something you can’t deny as you hover just a few meters away.
He doesn’t look like a typical pirate. There’s no beard or missing eye. No, he has chiseled features, and a mischievous smile that almost threatens to take your breath away. His white tunic is open, and you sneak a glance at chiseled abs and skin that’s beautifully worn and tanned from years spent in the elements.
Despite his good looks, you have a job to do, and the man is patient as you begin your song.
You’ve been preparing for this for years, and The Sister’s Song you’ve practiced is one of loss and grief, however, there’s a haunting beauty to it too, one that even your own people find hard to resist.
You sing your heart out, watching the new Pirate King carefully.
He smiles at your song, however, he doesn’t flinch a muscle. When your words die off, he lifts his hands to clap, and with that, you know that he’s fit to be the next pirate ruler. He’s a man with no regrets, a man who lives by the beat of his own drum, and he’s earned your respect.
“That was a lovely song,” the man calls out to you.
“And what is your name, new would-be King?” you retort.
“I’m Captain John, but you can call me Johnny,” he grins. “And you?”
“I’m the Siren Princess, y/n.”
Johnny nods. “I know the past Pirate Kings have come for a song and left, however, I was hoping for more than a blessing today.”
“That’s presumptuous of you,” you note, feeling a smile work its way onto your face.
“Being presumptuous is part of being a King, I suppose,” Johnny muses. “I was hoping for a banquet. We’ve brought food and booze.”
“A banquet,” you repeat. Never before has a Pirate King dared come to your shores- this man is something different, and it intrigues you in a way you’ll never be able to express. “I accept. You can follow me to the water’s edge palace.”
“I do have one condition though.”
“And what is it that the new Pirate King suggests?” you enquire.
“Only that my men will be keeping their earplugs in. Many a pirate banquet have ended with blood in the water, but tonight, I’m hoping to be more civilized.”
“A civilized pirate,” you laugh. “That’s new.”
Three:
Johnny knows that he’s bringing his men deep into danger, but this is something that he feels will be an important stepping stone. While past Pirate Kings have had an understanding with the mermaids and sirens, none had fed the flames to keep the fire going. No, in contrast to his past predecessors, Johnny thinks it’s important to have a better connection with sirens and mermaids, perhaps even diplomatic relations.
Sure, it also helps that you’re absolutely stunning, and Johnny would be lying if he said he didn’t want to spend more time with you- but his plans for a banquet had been set in stone before he’d laid his eyes on you, so Johnny has no regrets there.
As Johnny is taken to shore and shown into the waterside palace, the new King notes the way siren’s have different wings.
While yours are white an angelic, others have more fairy like protrusions, and Johnny would bet his life that your wings are a sign of royal blood. They’re certainly the most durable, the largest, and the strongest, that he’s able to see, and when any others appear with similar wings, you’re quick to introduce them as family.
“I’m interested to meet your father. You said you’re a Siren Princess, so your father must be King,” Johnny notes as he follows you through the palace. It’s old marble, and while parts of it are eroding, Johnny can’t help but marvel at the way the structure straddles the lines of nature. There are all sorts of growing greens, as well as harmony between both earth and water elements- with streams interweaving below white marbled bridges.
In these waterways, are mermaids, who look up at him with curiosity, their hair always falling just so- protecting their modesty, if creatures such as they even possess such a thing.
“He’ll come down from the mountain palace,” you tell Johnny. “You have to understand, no Pirate King has ever dared set foot here. This is not something we are accustomed to.”
“I can see that,” Johnny nods, turning to find Donghyuck leaning over the edge of the bridge, eyes locked with a particularly gorgeous mermaid, who’s creeping closer and closer from the stream below-
Johnny grabs the younger pirate by the scruff of the neck, tearing him away from a beautifully savage fate. He pushes Donghyuck towards Yuta, and the mermaids giggle. “Keep an eye on him,” Johnny warns the feral looking pirate. “And keep an eye on yourself while you’re at it.”
You smile at the interaction, and Johnny sighs.
“You think this is funny, do you?”
“Just a show that we don’t need to be heard to be alluring, mermaids never rely on their voices, so your beeswax will do little to ward them off.”
“I guess I thought my men had more control,” Johnny admits, falling into step with you and casting a glance at the crew that follows, “although, I guess at the end of the day, they’re just pirates.”
“And you’re not?” you counter.
“I’m a pirate, it’s true,” Johnny confesses. “But I think we both know, no Pirate King is ever just a pirate.”
“I will agree with you on that,” you nod. Although you’ve not met many pirates in your life, it’s clear that this one has a better head on his shoulders than most- in more than just the looks department. “The great hall is this way,” you continue, showing him through an archway that brings you to the outdoor meeting place.
It’s a true wonder of water and earth, a courtyard exposed to the night sky above. The moonlight illuminates the space, and littered throughout are pools with glassy water, mermaids perched like poised, picturesque, marble statues along their edges. Eyes that shine in the nightly gleam watch as you draw the Pirate King’s crew deeper into the lion’s den, beautiful predators, assessing every movement.
You hope this new Pirate King knows what he’s doing.
Four:
By all accounts, the feast is going well. Roaring fires are cooking multiple boar that Johnny had brought specifically for this trip, as well as fish and other provisions they’d packed. The sirens and mermaids had provided more of the perishable items, and even though there are wooden bowls of salad littered here and there, it’s clear that everyone has a preference for the meat.
The mermaids in particular are quite savage with the way they eat, grabbing leg straight by the bone and tearing in with teeth that hadn’t looked as sharp before as they do now.
Johnny is on alert, despite his attempts to exude a calm and happy countenance.
He feels as if he’s in a den of angelic looking demons, and he’s already caught numerous crewmates wandering just a little too close to the water’s edge. Hyuck in particular has been reared back by the scruff of his neck a grand total of five times, and Johnny’s beginning to think the young man simply has a death wish… that, or his brain resides in his cock.
From the way the mermaids giggle with each close call, it’s clear to Johnny that they’re testing him as the new Pirate King. They’re testing his trust in them, his wits, and Johnny’s not quite sure what to make of it.
“Pirate King,” your voice distracts Johnny from his internal musings, and he turns to you. “Come with me,” you bid him, standing and reaching out a hand. “I have something to give you.”
Your words draw not only Johnny’s attention, but the attention of those around him, and Yuta lets out a loud wolf whistle. It’s no shock that his crew would have filthy thoughts about why you’re whisking him away, but Johnny gets the suspicion that this interaction isn’t just about getting in his pants.
You’re a Princess after all, and so far, you’ve been nothing short of a gracious host. It’s clear that the two of you share alliance goals, and Johnny had watched you take your father to the side and passionately argue the importance of a connection between pirates and sirens.
“Watch Hyuck,” Johnny warns Jaehyun as he stands, allowing you to gently guide him by the hand away from the festivities.
Mermaids watch curiously as you lead Johnny over a number of small bridges, moving farther and farther from the main courtyard until you’re back at the edge of the sea. Johnny can hardly hear the sound of loud pirate laughter anymore, and he realizes how serene this new location is as he studies your winged form in the moonlight.
“I have two gifts for you,” you tell him, reaching into your dress. Johnny hadn’t realized the fine white material had included pockets, but then again, most of the night he’s been staring at your pretty face and your angelic wings. You pull out a conch shell, handing it to Johnny. “This one is to call for mermaids, and this one,” you place a halloweed reed style whistle next to the shell, “is to call on sirens. They’re in case you need help in battle, a way to contact us, to solidify an alliance of sorts, although- I warn you not to use the shell if you have any men in the water, mermaids are not the most discerning of saviours.”
Johnny looks down at the two items. At first, he doesn’t know what to say, and his voice cracks when he finally finds the words. “Thank you.” He swallows thickly. “I appreciate these, uh… tokens.”
You let out a giggle. “No need to be so formal, Pirate King.”
“Says the woman who just used the word discerning.”
“I’m more educated than you, pirate,” you grin.
“Wouldn’t be so sure about that, Princess.”
“Touche.”
Johnny enjoys this back and forth, it feels natural, and without the eyes of countless others on the two of you right now, the Pirate King feels comfortable to just be himself. “I guess, as much as I appreciate these gifts, I’m still wondering if I can trust you, if you’ll come when I call.”
“That’s the funny thing about trust, isn’t it, Pirate King?” you ask, stepping closer to him. You look up into Johnny’s eyes, and he’s blown away by your natural beauty. “You’ll only find out if the trust is solid, when you’re in a moment of need.”
A moment of need… watching your lips right now, Johnny’s in a deep moment of need.
From the way your own gaze dips down, Johnny’s sure you reciprocate the attraction, and with one final ‘fuck it’ that he sends to the wind, Johnny cups the back of your neck with his large palm. He draws your mouth to his, kissing you gently on the edge of the sea as the moonlight bathes you both in light. The winds carry the smell of salt, a constant reminder of Johnny’s true commitments.
He’s a man with no regrets, a Pirate King, and nothing could ever make Johnny regret this shared kiss, this shared confirmation of a newly blossomed union between pirates, mermaids and sirens.
Five:
It’s been a full year since the Pirate King arrived at the Selkie Islands, a full year without hearing a whistle or the blow of a conch, and in that time, you’ve begun to worry about him.
Sure, he’d been strong, and tall, and handsome- but in your opinion, he’d lacked the savagery that had been so clearly evident in those who had come before him, not to mention excessive facial hair, bad teeth and body odor.
You’ve done your best to distract yourself with your studies, as education is important for a Princess such as yourself, and you’re in your library one afternoon when your ears pick up that distant call.
The reed you’d given the Pirate King is a magic reed, and it’s fine tuned to your ears. You’re able to hear it from a vast distance, and with your natural bird like homing abilities, there’s no way you’d miss Johnny’s location.
It’s been a year, but finally, you’re being summoned.
You’re quick to rally a small force of sirens to go with you, your Princess’ guard, which consists of your best female fighters with the strongest wings for flight. Despite your father being the King of the sirens, that’s only in the stead of your mother, who had died of an illness many moons ago. The sirens, as well as the mermaids, are naturally maternalistic societies, and when you need something done right, you send a band of females.
The journey is a long one, but with your wings, you’re able to cover vast distances. You make it to Johnny’s pirate ship and the cove it’s anchored in just as the evening sun is setting. The Neo is still alive and well, and there are hardly any new marks on it, something that reassures you as you and your small band of sirens touch down on the deck.
Pirates watch you, and your eyes find Johnny as he steps down the stairs from the helm to greet you.
“Wasn’t sure you’d come,” he admits, stopping just at the bottom step to assess you with a half grin on his face, his Captain’s hat tilted just so.
“Travel takes time, as I’m sure you know,” you retort. “What’s the emergency?”
“I’d like to speak to you, privately.”
With a nod to your companions, you follow Johnny into the Captain’s quarters, curious as to what this call is about if not an attack.
“On the island, we hold pirate council,” Johnny explains. “Seeing as you’re my new ally, I’d like for you to speak, as a Princess, as the head of the sirens- and I’d like you to have a say for the mermaids as well, although, I can call upon the mermaids too if you’d rather they have their own representative.”
“Pirate council?” you ask in shock. “I wasn’t aware pirates were so democratic.”
“I am King of something, Princess,” Johnny grins.
“I suppose that’s true,” you smile back at him slyly. “I can speak for the sirens, and the mermaids, at this council at least. When I return to the Selkie Islands, I can discuss a mermaid representative for further collaborative efforts.”
Johnny nods. “Works for me.”
“So when is this council, exactly?”
“We were waiting for you.”
Within minutes, you’re following Johnny into the largest beached pirate ship vessel you’ve ever seen. Despite it’s outside appearance, the inside is remarkably well kept- and you suppose it’s worn down exterior acts as a camouflage of sorts for the importance of what takes place inside this aged wooden skeleton of the sea.
You feel very important as you walk with Johnny, and he pays you the respect of holding you at his arm, making you equals as you enter the large council chamber.
Whispers erupt at the sight of you, and you suppose many of the pirates present have never seen a siren in the flesh.
“I told them I’d be bringing you,” Johnny whispers in your ear as he takes you to the head of the table, pulling out the seat at his right hand for you to sit in. As you get settled, he leans close, his lips just brushing your ear. “You could ensnare the souls of every person in this room if you so much as breathed a note of your siren song, don’t be scared, and speak from your heart.”
You’d always thought of yourself as a confident Princess, but walking into this pirate’s den had shaken your foundations. Hearing Johnny’s praise of you, the facts that he’s pointed out- it helps you calm down, your shoulders falling, body relaxing.
“Today, this pirate council has been drawn, because we need to discuss the increasing threat in our waters,” Johnny’s clear Kingly voice rings out through the room. “The British Royal Navy. they’ve been imposing their laws, sinking ships, taking prisoners, and killing every man, woman, or child who has ever had anything to do with the likes of us.”
This is all news to you. You’ve heard whispers of a new type of sailor in these seas, of more regimented water crafts- but your kind generally sticks to your own islands these days, you’d had no clue that this ‘British Royal Navy’ had become such an imposing force.
You listen as Johnny continues his speech, and then he opens up the floor for other pirates to speak.
It’s a heated debate, a debate of which you’re not necessarily inclined to be a part of. There’s talk of attacking ports, jail breaking prisoners-
It’s clear to you that although they view themselves as somewhat democratic for throwing a council such as this, that many of the pirates who are here to represent their crew and fleat, are very much in it only for themselves.
It’s also evident that Johnny takes his role as Pirate King extremely seriously, and you find yourself most and more enraptured as you watch him take control and keep things peaceful. Not only does he understand what others are saying, but often, he’s able to reword concerns so that others can understand as well. He’s like a Pirate King translator, and it’s a very attractive quality.
There’s a bit of infighting between two rough looking bearded men, and when Johnny breaks it up, he sighs, turning to you. “Do you have any opinions, Princess?”
“I’d like to spend the night thinking on it. I’ve taken in a lot of information, and I’m tired from my travel.”
“That’s a good point,” Johnny nods. “I think we should all take the night to think things though and consider other perspectives, we can reconvene in the morning.”
The Pirate King stands up, not giving any time for protest, and as you rise to join him, you take a survey of the room. You can see the respect that the others have for him, and everyone stays in their seat as Johnny takes your arm and leads you back outside.
The two of you are quiet as you return to his ship. It’s clear there’s a lot on both of your minds, and you kind of enjoy the peaceful quiet that blossoms with the strong man at your side.
“Well,” Johnny says finally, “I’ll give you and your companions my cabin, and I’ll find somewhere to sleep below deck.”
“It’s alright,” you tell him. “I’m going to send my companions home, it’s clear they’re not needed here tonight, and after our council meeting tomorrow, I’ll return to the Selkie Islands as well.”
“Almost sounds like you trust me to be on my best behaviour, Princess,” Johnny grins.
“As you said before, one note of song from my lips and your entire crew could be under my spell. I have nothing to fear.”
“Not even from me?” he toys.
“Not even from the Pirate King himself.”
“Well,” Johnny licks his lips, taking in your form, “I’ll let you say your goodbyes, and then you can meet me in my quarters.”
“Aye, aye, Captain.”
“That’s King to you, Princess.”
You can only scoff, turning and leaving the Captain to join your ladies on the deck of the ship. You fill them in on the council meeting, and although two of them are reluctant to leave your side, you reassure them that you’ll be okay. This new strengthening of the alliance with the pirates is founded on trust, and if anything happens, the sirens alone could take out the entire pirate fleet sans Captain John himself, who’s impervious to your songs.
Soon, you’re the lone winged creature on the deck of the ship, and you can feel eyes on you as you make your way to Johnny’s Captain’s quarters.
You’d been in here earlier when Johnny had taken you aside for a private chat, but you hadn’t taken the time to fully appreciate his home.
While there are wooden accents everywhere, it’s a very lavish quarters. There are lots of red velvet- royal colours that draw your eyes. It’s a masculine space, but the full walled library betrays the erudite mind of the new Pirate King. A large table is littered with maps, and it’s clear that’s where Johnny does most of his work, however, tucked into a wall pocket by his books, is a massive bed, with the same scarlety fabric drapes to make the sleeping section more private and cozy.
Johnny’s standing by the windows that look out the back of the ship, and while the candle flames lick light at the walls, it’s the reflection of the moon that truly illuminates the space.
“And so all the pretty birds fly home for the night,” he says, watching your companions disappear into the inky sky.
“All but one,” you muse, locking the door behind you.
“And the prettiest one at that.” Johnny turns to you. “Are you sure you don’t want me to find somewhere else to sleep tonight?”
“I’ve been thinking about our last meeting for a year, Captain, I think it would be a disservice to both of us to not indulge further, after all, we’ve been good and patient, haven’t we?”
“Too patient, even for a Pirate King,” Johnny groans, moving closer.
“Even for a Princess,” you agree, wetting your lips as you stay still, allowing Johnny to be the one to close the gap.
Like that night by the water’s edge, Johnny doesn’t ask permission, you can tell that he reads your need for him as easily as he had a year ago. His large hand cups your cheek, drawing your lips to his own, and it’s such a familiar feeling-
Something about him just feels right. It feels natural. As if you’ve done this a hundred times before, even though this is only really your second kiss with the young Pirate King.
Regardless, you allow yourself to get lost in him. Your hands begin to explore him as if by muscle memory, and you push at his long dark jacket, exposing the white unbuttoned tunic below. Fucking pirates and their fashion sense- he’s too much of a slut in this fucking shirt, it’s making you feral.
“Someone is eager,” Johnny muses, breaking the kiss to look down at you with a grin.
“Someone is dressed like a whore,” you retort, flicking his hat off his head with one sharp movement.
The Pirate King lets out a whistle. “Wow, Princess, didn’t expect to hear words like that coming out of such a pretty little mouth.”
“Maybe being around you has some of your piracy rubbing off on me,” you suggest, hooking your finger in his gun holster belt to tug him closer.
“Princess, if I’d rubbed one off on you, you’d know it.”
You can only scoff, and Johnny’s smile widens. He tugs you closer, looking down at you with dark eyes that have suddenly turned serious.
“I’ve got a question for you, Princess.”
“Yeah, and what’s that, Captain?”
“I was just thinking…” he looks past you, and your wings twitch under his inspecting gaze, “are they as sensitive as they look?”
You breathe in a harsh gasp, a shiver running through you at the thought.
Johnny grins again. “I’m going to take that as a yes.”
Siren wings are extremely sensitive, especially ones like yours.
“They’re just… so pretty,” Johnny continues, reaching out. “You’ll let me touch, right?”
“You can touch,” you whisper, watching him while frozen in place. All your bravado and confidence are gone, and although you’re the siren, it feels as if the Pirate King has put you under a spell of his own now.
He’s ever so gentle as he brushes his fingers against your wing, looking down at you to watch for a reaction.
You close your eyes, trying to focus on your breathing, and you can tell from the way Johnny grabs your hip with his other hand, that he enjoys the effect this is having on you.
He traces down your wing to the base, where your human skin becomes feathers, and he toys that spot with a circular motion. It feels so good- you have to bite your tongue to stifle a moan.
“It’s okay, Princess, let it out, I wanna hear you,” Johnny encourages.
“You might, but what about your crew?” you ask, looking at the door just a few meters away. If you moan- even if it’s a moan and not a purposeful siren song - it could still bewitch anyone close enough to hear it, and you’d hate to lose composure, damaging your alliance, because you’re too horny to keep it in your pants and in your mouth.
“That’s a good point,” Johnny concedes. In one motion, he’s lifting you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his hips as he carries you toward the bed nook. He gently puts you down, carefully of just flopping you onto the mattress and damaging a wing, then, he draws the curtains closed, clearly hoping to muffle any sounds that come out of you. “Now… where were we?”
“I think you were about to get me naked and eat me the way you ate that fucking wild boar last year.”
“I was trying to be somewhat clean that night, you know,” Johnny laughs.
“I don’t mind messy, in fact, part of me might prefer it.”
“Are you sure you’re a Princess?” Johnny asks, kissing up your calf as you adjust against the pillows, making sure your wings are in an alright position for him to eat you out.
“I’m as much of a Princess as you are a King,” you point out.
Despite you both having titles, it’s clear there’s more to you than your respective stations in life. Sure, the fact that he’s a Pirate King and you’re a Siren Princess is making this whole interaction possible, but there’s a desire to know him on a deeper level- and it’s one of the reasons you’re reluctant to refer to him as King. You’d rather see him as a Captain, a leader of men in that capacity-
Johnny’s hands push your dress up your thighs, and you let out a small exhale at the feeling of cool cabin air on your exposed skin.
As a siren, you’re somewhat of a wild being. No matter how civilized you might look, with your long flowy dresses, and monarch system- you’re still not fully human, and you hate restrictive clothing, which is why, the dress is the only piece of fabric covering your body. As Johnny pushes the fabric up, he realizes your nudity under the silk, and you watch his pupils dilate with interest.
Johnny licks his lips, looking up at you one last time, as if asking for permission. You nod to him, a smile working its way onto your face as you realize how soft he’s being with you.
He’s the big bad Pirate King, but consent is still a must- God, he’s truly an enigma, and you’d be happy to spend years figuring him out.
Johnny dives into your pussy. Two large hands grab your thighs, spreading you open for the tongue that begins to lap at your core.
“Shit-” you groan. No one’s ever eaten you out like this before. You’re not a virgin per se, but your number of sexual experiences is severely limited. As far as mythical races go, the sirens aren’t the horniest of creatures, but there’s something about this Pirate King that changes everything.
You can feel Johnny grin against your pussy, and it turns you on even more as he sucks your clit into his mouth, flicking at it repeatedly.
Your hands are grabbing at the lush bedding, trying to keep you grounded on a ship that’s gently rocking from the sea. There are so many textures, the velvety fabrics, your silky dress pushed up to your waist. The smells of the wood and sea, the sounds of The Neo and the water lapping at her sides-
You’re overwhelmed in the best possible way as sounds of desperation escape you, spurring on the Pirate King as he works you over with his mouth.
You reach down, threading your fingers through his soft hair. God, some pirates are unhygienic as fuck, but this one seems to know how to take care of himself, and that’s an attractive quality in a man.
Johnny growls against your pussy, sucking your clit even harder, and your toes curl. You can feel an orgasm rising in the pit of your stomach, and Johnny’s steady pace is drawing that release closer and closer-
His grip digs into your thighs and you throw your head back gasping-
Your eyes clench shut as your orgasm washes over you, throbbing through your entire body unlike any high you’ve ever had, even those you’ve given yourself.
You ride out the orgasm, and Johnny continues to worship your core until you’re spent and sweaty. You push him away gently, and he looks up at you. As the Pirate King rises, he licks his lips, and you enjoy the view of him getting every last drop of your taste.
“You taste as angelic as you look, Princess,” Johnny muses.
“And I feel even better,” you say lazily.
“I’ll be the judge of that.” Johnny shrugs off his white tunic, baring his washboard abs and broad chest. He’s got scars, battle wounds most likely, but nothing too gnarly. No, he’s quite beautiful, for a pirate.
Your dress has a low back, the type that you step into so your wings aren’t damaged or put in any awkward positions, so as Johnny strips himself, you tug the silky fabric of your own clothing down your body.
You love the feeling of the velvety bedding against your exposed skin, and you spread your legs for Johnny, an invite.
He drops his pants to the ground, and his heavy belt acts like as a weight, creating a loud thumping sound against the worn wooden floor.
Fuck. The Pirate King is packing. You’d noticed his affinity for a pistol over a sword, but you suppose that’s only because he has a sword sized cock inside his breeches.
Johnny reads your expression, and he lets out a chuckle. “Don’t worry, Princess, I’ll go slow with you.”
“You better. Being fatally impaled by the Pirate King was not in my nightly plan.”
“Just… pleasantly impaled by the Pirate King, right?” Johnny jokes, getting onto the bed with you, his large biceps bulging as he holds his weight overtop of your body.
God, he’s so handsome, and playful for a Pirate King too. There’s something to unique about this Captain John, and it takes your breath away. The familiarity makes you uncomfortable in some form, so instead of responding, you grab the back of his neck, drawing his lips to yours.
Johnny immediately kisses you, rolling his hips so his cock can drag against your pussy while you wrap your legs tight around him. His mouth is so distracting, but you simply can’t take your mind off of the massive length that’s toying by your clit with each rut of his hips.
How are you even going to fit this man inside of you?
To your surprise, Johnny is true to his word about not rushing anything. He simply makes out with you, rutting gently, working you up until you’re a gasping mess. You can feel your pussy practically crying onto his cock now, can feel how wet you’ve made his length with each pass of it through your pussy lips.
“Okay, I’m ready,” you tell him, adjusting slightly against his pillows, one wing stretching out to steady yourself a little.
“You sure about that?” Johnny taunts, bringing his lips to your throat, where he teases past your skin.
You moan desperately, tightening your grip on his hips, urging him to just fuck you-
Johnny’s nose grazes up your neck, and he pulls your ear lobe into his mouth, suckling on it gently.
“Please,” you whimper, all composure lost.
Johnny pulls away, looking down at you with an expression very much like concern while you grab at his broad shoulders. “Did you just say… please?”
You scoff, rolling your eyes.
The Pirate King grabs your jaw, forcing your eyes to his again. “That actually sounded really cute coming from you, Princess.”
“If you don’t want to fuck me, then don’t fuck me,” you snap, getting irritated in your impatient lust fueled state.
“Does it feel like I don’t want to fuck you?” Johnny counters, rutting his hips so you can feel his massive cock, all enlarged and throbbing- “I just don’t want to hurt you, Princess. Remember, I have to be a man without regrets, and if I hurt you, then I’d have something to regret, and I couldn’t effectively be King of the pirates.”
Your heart melts for him, and it’s the best explanation he could have possibly given. You smash your lips to his, moaning into the kiss as desperation continues to take over your entire body.
Johnny adjusts his cock, pressing just the tip to your aching hole. He’s as gentle as ever as he slowly pushes it in, waiting patiently as you get used to the stretch.
The Pirate King continues to kiss you, distracting you from the feeling until it becomes pleasurable, then, he pushes deeper into you, repeating the slow build up. He takes his time, and it’s as if he knows your body inside and out, as if he’s reading every little reaction to make it the best possible experience for you.
Johnny is now completely inside of you, and you gasp at how deep it feels. You’re shocked he’s flush to your body, your chests heaving, foreheads pressed together, lips parted, staring into each others eyes.
God, this connection feels unlike anything else you’ve ever experienced.
It’s as if he’s staring into your soul, which is an uncanny feeling given the fact that siren’ are the soul collectors of the mortal world. You feel so bare for him, so susceptible and weaponless- but there’s no fear with this knowledge. You trust the young Pirate King, you’re not sure why, but you do. It’s this deep knowing- one that you can’t put into words.
“You ready?” Johnny asks, swallowing thickly.
You nod, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m ready.”
Johnny leans down, gently pressing his lips to yours as he begins to move his hips, slowly rutting into you, allowing your body to get used to his size with each motion.
You moan desperately against his mouth, kissing him harder, gripping his strong shoulders desperately as his pace builds-
One shift has your wing caught under you uncomfortably, and you break the kiss. “Can I be on top? My wing-”
Before you can even finish your explanation, Johnny is grabbing the small of your back, keeping you tucked to his chest, and rolling you so you’re now in the dominant position. He looks up at you, and you stretch your wings out. Your hands fall flat on his chest, your head thrown back as you enjoy the feeling of freedom now that you’re on top.
“God, you’re so pretty,” Johnny breathes.
“You and your wing kink, mister Pirate King,” you laugh, looking down at him.
“There are worse kinks to have,” he suggests, stroking your hip.
You don’t bother to agree with him, you simply start to move, rubbing back and forth a little, getting used to how deep his cock is inside your core now that you’re in the power position.
“The way you’re taking me is fucking heaven,” Johnny groans, pressing his thumb to your clit to rub gentle circles that set your skin on fire.
“Maybe we were made for each other,” you offer breathlessly, intending it to be a lighthearted joke of sorts, but the growl Johnny releases at your words tells you he takes them seriously.
“Maybe we were,” Johnny agrees, rubbing your clit even harder. His other hand finds your hip, and he begins to half bounce you up and down on his cock, leveraging the bed so he can make his own shallow thrusts, coming up to meet you with each motion.
The thought of the two of you being weird, two sides of the same coin soulmates has your stomach twisting into knots, or maybe that’s just the massive cock rearranging your guts, you’re not quite sure.
God, he looks so pretty like this too- a thin layer of sweat on his broad chest, his pouty bottom lip caught between his sexy teeth, brow furrowed in concentration. The scars on his tanned skin truly don’t bug you, in fact, the intricate lines are almost a type of art all of their own. You could spend hours tracing them-
Your toes curl as Johnny’s thumb works your clit, combining with his cock in your tight hole, working you closer and closer to the edge again.
“Come on, Princess,” Johnny groans, “almost there, and then I can flip you over and fuck you stupid.”
You’re pretty sure he’s already fucking you stupid, and you’re not quite sure why he’s encouraging you when he’s doing practically all the work- so you close your eyes, focusing on the feeling that’s building- getting to the edge in record speed is the one thing you can control right now.
Each breath feels almost like a type of meditation now, your body thrumming with an eclectic energy that you know is almost ready to explode-
“That’s it, cum on my cock.”
His words are the trigger that has you short circuiting, your body jolting as your orgasm slams into you. You cry out, eyes clenching shut as your pussy clamps down on his cock, your clit pulsing deliciously.
Johnny doesn’t let up, he continues to gently rub the sensitive nub, fucking up into you to prolong your high-
Soon, you can’t take it anymore, and you collapse down against his chest, breathing deeply.
Johnny cradles you for a moment, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head. “You’re gonna let me cum too, right, Princess?” he asks.
“Yeah, cum in me-” you whisper, too delirious to even think straight.
Johnny helps you off of him, adjusting you onto your stomach. He gets behind you, grabbing your hips and pulling you up into doggy position. “This view is amazing,” he tells you, gently stroking one of your wings and making a shock of pleasure run through your body. “If it’s too much, just tell me to stop.”
You can only nod, bracing yourself as he lines his cock up with your soaked hole, pushing into you as easy as ever.
His hands find your hips, and he begins to rail into you. Gone is the gentleness from before, but you don’t mind it. No, there’s an enjoyment in this raw, animalistic savagery- or maybe you should classify it as pirate-like in nature. Regardless of specification, it feels fucking good, and each smack of Johnny’s hips against your ass has you clawing at his bedding.
Then, one of Johnny’s hands is smoothing up your back, and you let out a strangled squeal when he grips the base of your wing, using it as a type of leverage as he fucks you.
There are no words to truly describe the feeling of having your wings being touched, and there are even fewer metaphors to encapsulate the ecstasy that comes from having Johnny utilize your wings to fuck you absolutely stupid. All you can do is take what he gives you, muffling your sounds with his pillow as he draws you closer and closer to the edge yet again, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world.
“These are sensitive, huh, Princess?” Johnny asks, stroking his pointer finger up the section of wing in his grasp. “Almost feels like you’re gonna cum again.”
“Fuck, I am- I will, just- don’t stop!” you beg.
“If that’s what my Princess commands.” In fact, Johnny fucks you even harder, fingers digging into your hip with each rough motion.
He draws circles on the base of your wing with his thumb, and your body begins to twitch-
“I want us to cum together,” Johnny breathes heavily. “You’ll cum with me, right?”
“Yes, yes-”
“Almost there,” the Pirate King warns you.
Your own high is balancing on the edge of the knife, and as Johnny releases a raw grunt of satisfaction, the sound sends you toppling into the pleasure abyss.
You can feel him filling you up with cum as your pussy milks him for every single drop that the Pirate King is worth. All you can do is lay there, face buried in the pillows while wave upon wave of ecstasy washes over you like an all consuming, destructive, sea tempest.
Despite how powerful and intense it is, there’s never been anything as good as this before either.
Soon, Johnny’s slowing down, breathing heavily against your back. Your wings twitch at the feeling of his exhales, and he releases the base of your appendage, stroking his fingers down your spine gently.
“Give me a second, then I’ll get you cleaned up.”
You can only whimper, in a daze from three hard orgasms.
Johnny is true to his word, slipping out of you a minute later and returning with a cloth. He cleans you up, and then, he wraps you in his arms, drawing you under the blankets so you can cuddle even closer.
The two of you fall asleep like this, a Siren Princess, and a Pirate King, two beings without an ounce of regret.
Six:
Johnny’s happy with how things are going with council. He’d thought long and hard about not incurring an all out war with the navy, while also not leaving a single pirate behind. Prison breaks with the purpose of salvation over bloodshed, that had been his primary goal, and while many of his fellow pirates had seemed a little less than enthusiastic about the idea, he’d gotten them to agree.
He can’t govern them at all times, it was clear to him that sooner or later, pirates would begin their own brand of revolutionary vigilantism, but without any specific boundaries prohibiting the excessive use of force and weapons, things would turn into an all out war faster than Johnny would have ever been able to manage.
No, the agreement to tone down the violence is a good one, and as all the pirates begrudgingly agree, Johnny turns his attention to you. “What do you think, Princess?”
You release a sigh, one large wing twitching behind you. “Unfortunately, unlike the rest of you, who are a fact of the seas, my kind isn’t as well known, especially not to this new British Royal Navy. To be part of this encroaching threat would only put my people in danger. I can’t actively condone or participate a war, even on a small scale like this. I think as pirates you should do what you’d like, but my people will keep to our Islands and hopefully remain unnoticed by the Navy.”
Johnny nods. “I understand your concerns,” and with that, he leaves you be. He’d wanted you to be part of this council, but he’d known there would be times where the topic at hand wasn’t something that would affect you. He’s just happy to have your voice here, to have his alliance with you be glaringly obvious to all those who might oppose him or question his legitimacy as the new Pirate King.
The council completes its dues, and soon, Johnny is walking back with you toward his ship.
His men get scarce, something that he doubts is a coincidence, and Johnny leads you to the bow of the ship. The Neo’s large winged figurehead looks out at the sea, and the pirate Captain gazes as well, noting the oncoming storm that’s brewing in the distance.
“I guess I should be going home,” you sigh.
“Those clouds don’t look very friendly,” Johnny points out. “You can stay another night if you’d like.”
“Storms don’t phase me, Captain,” you tease. “Although, before I go, I have something to give you.”
Johnny turns to watch you pull a small reed from your pocket. It’s like the one you’d given him a year ago, but more dainty in a way.
“This reed is different from the other one,” you explain. “This one is a frequency just for me, so you can call when you need anything.”
“Anything?”
“Anything,” you confirm with a sly smile. “If you play these three notes,” you demonstrate, “it will alert me that it’s not a life or death situation.”
“I’ll be sure to call for you if you’re needed,” Johnny muses, accepting the reed and playing the three note tune as easily as anything.
“And if I’m not needed, then I’m not needed,” you shrug.
Johnny likes this. He likes that you’re not trying to control him. No, you have an understanding that he is who he is. He’s a Pirate King, a man who more than anyone else, belongs to the sea. You’re not going to hold him down, and he’s pretty sure neither of you would enjoy it if you tried.
The flip side of that, is that you’re your own elusive being. You’re a Siren Princess, and he’s confident that you have your own things to do. He’s not sure what your life consists of, but he’s never going to be the man to get in the way of that and endeavor to cage the prettiest bird he’s ever seen.
The two of you have an understanding, and at the end of the day, that’s the best the young Pirate King could have ever hoped for.
☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! I had so much fun writing this!
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🔮 preview. There are all sorts of milestones he wants to have with you, but he supposes at the end of the day, the main thing he wants is tangible progress.
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, breast worship, body worship, fingering, grinding against Johnny’s hand, big dick Johnny, size kink, pussy stretching, multiple sex positions, multiple reader orgasms, wing kink, etc… I petnames. (hers) Princess.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.5k I teaser wc. 215
🌙 starring. Johnny x afab!Reader
bonus
When Johnny had first begun to see you, it had been every couple of months. It was a no strings attached, easy sort of connection- but somehow, he’s not sure when, it began to blossom into something more.
Every couple of months became once a month, and now, in the time between seeing you, Johnny struggles. He has your special reed in his hand, and many nights are spent with him fighting the urge to call you to his side.
It’s not just the sex anymore- although, the sex is great. No, it’s an inner peace that comes when you’re near, a comfort that gives him the best sleep of his life and the clearest mind. You simply make him better, and it’s a fact that is getting harder and harder for the Pirate King to ignore.
As much as he hates to admit it to himself… it’s beginning to feel an awful lot like the Pirate King is starting to have regrets.
He’s beginning to regret his commitment to the sea, to the ship, to the crew that follows his every word. He’s starting to imagine what a life less free would look like-
If there was ever a woman who could tie him down, it would be you, and he knows it.
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The world is ending. You know it, your neighbor knows it, the dealer knows it, the jailer knows it, the king and all his men know it. All one has to do is look around to see it— the future is curdling into something pale and incorporeal. The infernal machine that is this stupid world is going to blow, sooner rather than later. So what are you doing? Why are you still here? Why is anyone still here?
SOLUTION
You are doing the only thing worth doing. You are living. *Why,* you ask? Try and remember now. Remember your mother’s hand on your shoulder. Remember the taste of a fresh catch. Remember the times when you were kind to the dogs in the valley and they did not bare their teeth. Remember the weight of a child on your shoulders. Remember the stars throwing their light against the wall of sodium and smog. Remember singing until your throat was raw. Remember crying just as loudly and publicly, and the gentleness with which someone opened your curled fist and pressed a handkerchief into your palm. Crying, laughing, running, eating, screaming, haunting, loving, fighting, fighting, fighting. The fight fuels you, and you fuel the fight. You run yourself ragged just for a chance to keep running. You never stop. You cannot stop. The world depends on it. *You* are the infernal engine. You are the world. And, simply put: you want to live.
genre/warnings: smut, angst, debatable morals, unprotected sex, brother’s worst enemy, forbidden love, mark’s dad is a cop for the sake of plot, mentions of drugs and drug-related death
summary: Your brother, Johnny, hates Jaehyun and has never told you why. Although you intend on leaving it alone, unforeseen events thrust you into a forbidden love affair with Jaehyun. In between hookups and stolen kisses, you have to bury your feelings for Jaehyun around your overprotective older brother.
word count: 27.2k (listen… i don’t know anymore okay)
a/n: this one lowkey kinda hit different for me cause i’ve had a forbidden love and it broke me. you can kinda tell by how long this is lol ya girl went all OUT. as always, feedback is appreciated!
“Absolutely not.”
“Dude, come on,” Mark whined.
“Hell the fuck no,” Yuta barked firmly, crossing his arms. “The last time we gave you shrooms, you texted Johnny to ask him where your phone was.”
“And?”
“You texted him from your own phone,” Yuta deadpanned.
You snickered. Your best friend and drugs were an infamously egregious combination. Mark Lee sober was already full of shit, but Mark Lee high on whatever substance he could get his hands on? Indescribably bad. You couldn’t think of a word to even explain it.
Mark gestured over to you. “But you gave her drugs.”
Yuta grimaced. “First of all, don’t say that too loud. Johnny will kill me. Second of all, she can actually handle her shit and what can I say? She's a loyal customer.”
You added, “Plus I’m not doing fucking shrooms. Yuta just deals me weed. If Johnny ever found out I was doing anything else, he would have a fit.”
Mark huffed something under his breath about how shrooms were the softest of soft drugs there were, not that it would’ve helped his case.
Your lips curled into a grin as you joked, “Why don’t you just chug Jeno’s notorious punch and call it a night? That’s what I’m gonna do.”
“I’ve actually got plans with a chick who’s been dying to chug my notorious punch. I’ll be back later. Save me a drink, dude,” Mark said, grinning from ear to ear at a text message on his screen. Probably from the aforementioned chick that was begging to blow him, or so he said.
You pretended to wince, but gave him a high five in celebration. “Aye, aye, captain,” you chirped, saluting him.
After Mark made a break for the stairs, you abandoned Yuta to make a beeline for the drink bar. There was no such thing as a party with some of your boys without drugs and alcohol. Your brother was an overprotective nuisance, but even he knew it was impossible to keep you away from your shots and the occasional marijuana.
Plus it would've been hypocritical as all hell, so he let it slide. Not that you wanted to press your luck with something harder. On some nights you were a little drunk and a little high, and it brought out the worst in you. You were certain all of Johnny's friends kept blackmail worthy videos of you doing the unspeakable and you were content with never knowing what all those fuckers had on you. The embarrassment would be enough to kill.
You clocked one girl dry-heaving in the corner on the way and it was all the discouragement required to make you reach for a can of beer instead. To your surprise, it seemed like somebody had a similar plan, their hand coincidentally dropping on the same one.
"Oh, I'm sorry. You can have it…," you trailed, glancing up to make eye contact with nobody less than the devil incarnate.
Ricky looked surprised to see you, though you weren’t sure why. If Jeno was throwing a party, you were bound to be in attendance. “What up, baby? Long time no see.”
“Ricky, you lost the right to call me that the second I caught you with your pants to your ankles in a closet with what's-her-face.”
More importantly, you were frankly surprised to see him there. Your stupid ex was many things, none good, and his audacity? It was out of control. Part of you wanted to commend him, because it took guts to show his face around your side of town after you yanked his trousers down in front of everyone and their mother.
And yet he took that retort in stride. “Baby, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m sorry? It was a mistake and I’ll never make it again.”
“You’re absolutely right,” you replied, bobbing your head in agreement. “You’re a sorry motherfucker and you’ll never make it again, because we’re done for good.”
But Ricky just couldn’t take the hint that you were so fucking over anything that had to do with him and crept closer, continuing darkly, “Don’t you know you’re nothing without me? Nothing!”
Having surrounded yourself with enough drunk and high people countless times, it was obvious that Ricky was under the influence, which made him extremely capricious. He looked a grand total of two seconds away from reaching out and seizing you by your arm.
Your eyes darted across the room for anybody you knew, but it was difficult when dancing bodies obscured them from your field of view. Yuta had probably wandered to snag more drug deals, Mark was getting his dick wet, and Johnny and Taeyong were nowhere to be found.
You were about to resign yourself to the fact that you were positively out of luck until you heard a deep baritone ask from beside you, “Do we have a problem over here?”
It took all of two seconds to recognize its owner. Jeong Jaehyun, sang the little chorus in your head. Your brother’s worst enemy. The beef seemed more than a little one-sided, but you didn’t ask questions. For whatever reason, the mere mention of Jaehyun’s name made your brother tense.
It was clear that Ricky was sizing Jaehyun up and he snapped with potent venom, “Who the fuck are you?”
“The host’s cousin,” Jaehyun said, looking tall and foreboding, as if he was daring somebody to challenge him. “And you are?”
“The love of her life.”
You didn’t know how he could confidently lie like that, though you wouldn’t be surprised if he wholeheartedly believed it, which was downright terrifying. You learned the hard way that this boy was as self-centered as they came.
Jaehyun took one look at you, and the glaringly obvious discomfort on your face, and replied, "Yeah, I don't think she wants to be around you. If I were you, I'd get the fuck out of here and never come back."
Ricky chuckled. "And if I don't?"
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Fuck around and find out," was all he said. His lips were drawn into a line and his gaze was fixed to your ex's idiotic face with a lethal stare. Not to mention Jaehyun had a couple of inches on him, which made you resist a satisfied little grin.
Obviously, Ricky wanted to stay and claim you as his pretty property, but even the lack of inhibitions didn’t hinder his judgment at that moment. Like any wise person would, he made a beeline for the closest exit. It was common sense that Jeno and his associates were not to be fucked with.
Your shoulders relaxed when Ricky was gone. If anything, he had gotten off easy. He was lucky that you had no clue where Johnny was. You were positive he would’ve knocked the sense out of him, if he had any, which was debatable.
“Insufferable prick,” you grumbled under your breath. Then, you glanced up to Jaehyun, who, to your surprise, was already looking at you. “Thanks, Jaehyun. I don’t know what he would’ve done if you weren’t here.”
Jaehyun still looked a little pissed, but your words seemed to make him soften. “You don’t have to thank me for that. It’s basic human decency.”
“And some people don’t even have that,” you replied, intending for it to be a joke, but it came out a little more melancholy.
If Jaehyun noticed, he said nothing about it.
Before he could even if he wanted to, something stitched your brows together and you mentioned, “Hey, I didn’t know Jeno was your cousin.”
“Me, neither.”
It took a second for that to settle in, but once you finally understood, amusement broke the confusion tensing your face and your lips parted in laughter. Jaehyun joined you. His bold-faced little white lie saved your ass, but ironically, that wasn’t what you were focused on.
It was those deep, adorable dimples on both of his cheeks that somehow made him even more handsome.
Instantly, something in you chided, Bitch, don’t check him out. He’s your brother’s worst enemy. You’re out of your goddamn mind if you think you’re getting laid tonight just because he’s playing nice.
“I should go,” you said after a minute, finally grabbing a beer. “Thanks again. I really appreciate it.”
You escaped before Jaehyun could tell you not to thank him. His eyes were fixed to your back, following you until you were obscured completely by partygoers. He knew you were Johnny’s sister, but damn, you were kinda cute.
At least for now, Jaehyun wouldn’t play with fire. Johnny almost kicked his ass one time and he wasn’t exactly keen on getting his ass handed to him.
You were half tempted to stop by Jeno’s room to check if any of the guys were passing a blunt around in there, but the last time your curiosity got the better of you, you accidentally walked in on Jeno shirtless with some half-naked girl. Not a sight you wanted to relive, so you kept downstairs.
Your eyes scanned the living room for any familiar faces, but it was difficult to tell if anybody was there. There was a gigantic crowd dancing to Kiss Me Thru The Phone and you chuckled at a certain memory of Mark drunk-singing along to the lyrics.
“There you are,” came a familiar voice beside you. Your gaze flitted to Johnny, whose face was stitched with concern. “Taeyong told me that he saw you with Jaehyun. You good?”
“I’m fine,” you hollered over the music. “Just heartbroken that Mark abandoned me to get laid.”
Any other time, Johnny would’ve laughed, but his lips were pressed into a solid line. “Have you had anything?”
You rolled your eyes and exhaled a breath. “Just the beer in my hand, Johnny.”
He studied your face, as if he was attempting to figure out whether or not you were telling the truth, but ultimately decided to believe you. “Listen, I just wanna look out for you. You’re my little sister. If anything were to happen to you...”
“Mom and Dad would kill you and dump your body in the woods for bears to find. Yes, I know,” you groaned exasperatedly, cutting him off. “I get it, Johnny. But I need you to get that I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“If you were a little girl, you wouldn’t be here and we wouldn’t give you weed.”
That comment wasn’t even worth a roll of your eyes. You took a sip of beer and ignored it.
“Why were you around Jaehyun anyways?” Johnny asked. It was obviously the question he was itching to ask. Probably wanted to make sure Jaehyun wasn’t making any advances.
The memory of your bastard ex getting uncomfortably close to you after reaching for a drink he clearly didn’t need, raising his voice at you in a way no woman should ever accept, made you shudder. “Ricky decided to try and win me back. If you can even call it that.”
Johnny immediately perked up in anger. “What?”
“Relax. Jaehyun already took care of him. That’s why he was there. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“I swear to god, I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch,” Johnny hissed, looking a total of five seconds away from giving someone a piece of his mind.
“Ricky, or Jaehyun?”
“Does it matter?”
You shrugged. Your lips parted to ask why he hated Jaehyun in the first place, but you cut yourself off. There was a reason why you didn’t ask him months ago. Johnny might’ve been overprotective, but that was because he was your brother and he loved you. When he was ready, he would tell you.
The night dragged on. This one was a little more boring than usual, but that could’ve been chalked up to you still being shaken up about your encounter with your ex. You almost considered what would’ve happened had Jaehyun not been around to intervene, but your mind dared not wander there.
Part of you wanted to know where he was camping out at. Surely, he had to be around here somewhere, but you weren’t going to look. Especially not with Johnny on high alert. He was being extra careful, wanting to be there in case your ex was crazy enough to return.
You listed what you knew about Jeong Jaehyun. For one, he was fine as hell. That was undeniable. Secondly, he was lowkey, which was why you essentially knew nothing about him other than the fact that he was drop-dead gorgeous.
Sure, he made an appearance at these parties every now and then, but most of the time he kept to a tight-knit circle of friends and if they weren’t there, there was no way in hell he was coming. Sometimes his roommates’ threw parties at their house, but he rarely went downstairs, preferring to linger in his room doing fuck knows what.
You honestly couldn’t blame him. People sucked. Most of them, anyways.
Only one day later, you were gripping an overlook, peering down at little critters splashing in the lake from the bridge above. For a long time, there was nobody there to join you other than your little nonhuman friends. You liked coming here every now and then to clear your head. It was your safe place, your happy place.
The sky was cloudy but there was only a nine percent chance of rain this afternoon, thus you weren’t too worried. You needed to go somewhere. Home was too isolating, but everywhere else was too open.
You could be happy here. There were no entitled assholes or overprotective brothers around to get on your nerves every five seconds. It was only you and the gifts of nature.
And somebody else.
“I thought that was you,” said somebody from your side.
Imagine your shock when you turned and saw Jeong Jaehyun jogging towards you. In the fucking flesh.
It was harder not to check him out this time. The man was practically drenched head to toe in sweat, his very exposed skin glistening with moisture. The shirt he was wearing hugged his chest and it was all you could do not to salivate.
Rather than continue to rake your eyes up his frame, you asked playfully, “Are you stalking me, Jeong Jaehyun?”
Jaehyun’s eyes twinkled with mirth. God, how come you never noticed how pretty and brown they were? “Actually, I’m surprised. I was cutting through here instead of my usual jog route. The weather looked pretty bad.”
You snickered, crossing your arms. “You didn’t check the forecast before you left the house? It’s not gonna rain. Probably.”
Jaehyun furrowed a brow. “Probably?”
“That guy on the news is an infamous liar,” you grumbled under your breath.
Jaehyun chuckled. He wiped the sweat from his forehead, coming closer to the railing where you were, but kept a safe distance between your bodies lest he made you uncomfortable. “I told you why I’m here. What about you?”
Your nose got an instant waft of Jaehyun’s scent and it was godly, which was shocking considering he was literally sweating everywhere. “Oh, you know. I come here from time to time to think, or to not think. Depending on what the situation calls for.”
“Really?”
You bobbed your head. “Yeah. Why?”
Jaehyun shook his head. “Nothing,” was what he said, but in reality, he was thinking about how he passed this bridge nearly every goddamn day and never knew if he took a detour, he’d potentially cross paths with a pretty little thing like you.
You lifted a brow, but didn’t press.
“Are you… okay?” Jaehyun reluctantly asked.
You bobbed your head. “Yup, I’m alright. It’s just that Ricky approaching me has Johnny on edge, so now whenever I go out he and his friends are watching me like a bunch of hawks.”
Jaehyun winced. “Damn. That must suck.”
“I get he’s doing it from a place of love, but fuck, sometimes I just wanna be left the hell alone, you know?”
Jaehyun nodded. God, did he know. And not only because he was an overwhelmingly introverted dude. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”
That caught your attention. “You do?”
Jaehyun scratched the back of his head. “I mean, I don’t have an overprotective brother, but I do have an overprotective mother. It’s sweet and all, but do you know what it makes you look like when you’re on a date with a girl and your mom won’t stop calling you?”
Your lips couldn’t help but curl into a grin. “Aw, you’re a Momma’s boy.”
“This is exactly what I mean,” Jaehyun groaned.
“No, it’s… cute,” you said, but it was impossible to control the giggles falling from your lips. “Most of the guys I know like that are sweethearts. Johnny, Mark. Maybe you.”
Jaehyun found that amusing. “You think I’m a sweetheart?”
You shrugged your shoulders. “Maybe. I don’t know you well enough to decide, but seemingly, sure.”
“Do you want to?”
“Do I want to what?”
“Know me better,” Jaehyun said, tentative. Almost as if he wasn’t sure what he wanted.
That was the million dollar question. On the one hand, Jaehyun was cute and it most likely wouldn’t hurt to spend a little time together, but on the other, there was the Johnny thing. You groaned. “God, Johnny would have a heart attack if he knew I was with you right now. Maybe even an aneurysm.”
Jaehyun snickered with mischief. “Who said that he has to know?”
That response downright shocked you. You weren’t expecting it from somebody like him, though then again, you knew virtually nothing about this boy and it only made you want to sate your curiosity. “Ooh. You’re trouble, Jeong Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun took that in stride. “I’m guessing you like that.”
Taking a step closer, you started to close the gap between you that Jaehyun had created for your sake. “Hm, you know what they say.”
“I don’t think I do.”
“It’s always the quiet ones that deal the most damage,” you whispered sultrily, glancing into his gentle brown eyes.
Jaehyun’s eyes flickered. That caught him off-guard.
Then, you backed away and waved him goodbye. “I’ve gotta go. Later, Dimples.”
Dimples? That was new. Jaehyun was pleasantly surprised by the nickname and he was so stunned that it distracted him from his train of thoughts.
It was only when you were long gone that he realized that you never answered his question.
You needed time to think, to decide if Jaehyun was worth potentially losing your brother’s trust. You didn’t know why he hated him, but his less than enthusiastic reactions to him said more than enough. Jaehyun was cute, but you could easily find another cute guy whose bones your brother didn’t mention crushing.
But damn, you were curious. And curiosity killed the cat. You knew one thing, though. You were starting to like Jeong Jaehyun.
You shook your head, ashamed of yourself. This is really what’s it’s come to, huh?
Jaehyun thought about that exchange on the bridge every now and then for the next couple of days and chastised himself for even making moves on you of all people. She’s his baby sister, you asshole. She’s off-limits.
Not that it would really stop him, if you let him have you.
It wasn’t like Johnny had to know. Jaehyun could keep a secret and he assumed that you had a handful of your own. People with strict upbringings tended to have a lot of practice with being sneaky and your situation was close enough.
He sat on his bed and heaved a breath, playing with a lighter.
Meanwhile, you were with your boys, listening to them chatter about disgusting boy things but lowkey too curious to abandon your spot on the sofa that was too comfortable for its own good. Nobody liked sleeping on sofas, but you swore you wouldn’t mind on this one. Plus sometimes you’d gotten drunk here enough where you almost dozed off.
You made a gagging noise when Mark started to talk about his nth blowjob of the week. You weren’t counting, but he definitely was.
“Your dick probably has so much chlamydia that it’ll mutate into a different variant like Covid,” Haechan teased.
You grimaced, but you definitely agreed.
“You’re one to talk,” Mark snapped.
Haechan nodded, grinning proudly. “Of course, I am. I always wear condoms and get tested regularly. I’m clean as a whistle.”
You shook your head in amusement. “I’ve never understood the saying ‘clean as a whistle.’ Like aren’t whistles actually contaminated from being in someone’s mouth? Now, when you combine that logic with your dick…”
Jeno burst into laughter. Yuta obviously found it funny from the smile on his face and Mark would never miss a chance to laugh at his friend’s expense.
Haechan dramatically rolled his eyes. “And what about you, little miss? How often do you get laid?”
“Definitely not as often as you guys,” you replied, coming to a stand. Not that you wanted to kiss the sofa goodbye. “I’ll be right back. I’ve gotta tinkle.”
Mark’s nose wrinkled. “You didn’t think that was too much information?”
You almost threw the remote at your best friend, but spared him. There was no way this dude was talking about too much information when he was literally giving you all a play-by-play of his sex life.
“If it burns when you pee, Mark gave you the airborne strand of chlamydia,” Yuta joked dryly.
You left too quickly to see Mark attempt to murder Yuta and it was a shame that you had to miss it. There was no doubt that Haechan would exaggerate the moment to make you regret not being there, but right now, you were concentrated on finding the bathroom.
And of course, it was when you finally made it upstairs through the groups of bodies that you realized you didn’t know where it was.
You groaned, cursing yourself for being so forgetful. You’d only been here a couple of times and never long enough to use the fucking bathroom, apparently. And you really couldn’t fucking hold it.
You glanced around the set of doors upstairs, incapable of keeping still. Thank god nobody was here except for you. If I was a bathroom, which door would I be behind?
You set eyes on a random door and said, “Fuck it.” You marched right up to it and knocked none too gently, seeping with impatience.
To your surprise, it was Jaehyun that opened the door, a pair of headphones slung around his neck. And behind him was a bed, not a toilet.
Jaehyun’s eyes flickered with shock and he said your name. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, um, I was kinda looking for the bathroom. I’m guessing this isn’t it,” you said with a little humor, which was remarkable, all things considered. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here, baby.”
“Oh.” You knew that, so the fact that it slipped your mind meant that you definitely weren’t yourself when you had to pee.
Jaehyun had the audacity to laugh. He opened his door a little wider. “You can use mine. It’s that door over there.”
“Thank you,” you said in relief, immediately darting for the bathroom.
You were even more relieved by the time you washed your hands and walked back into his bedroom, no longer fighting to keep still. Jaehyun was sitting on his bed where his headphones were now cast aside. God, how loud did you have to be knocking for him to hear you over those?
“You sure were in a hurry,” Jaehyun teased.
You rolled your eyes, but a little laugh fell from your lips. You wholeheartedly blamed Jeno and his damn poisonous drinks. Sighing in relief, you glanced around Jaehyun’s room. For a boy, he was exceptionally tidy. He had vinyls organized on a shelf. “No girls in here, I see.”
Jaehyun didn’t know whether to be offended by that or not. “What do you think I am, a pimp?”
You snickered. “Nah. I’m just traumatized. Sue me.”
Jaehyun knew better than to ask questions that he didn’t want to know the answers to, so he left it alone. “You never answered my question the other day.”
“What question?” you asked. Obviously, you were playing dumb. You needed every second to think about what your response would be, although you’d had the past forty-eight hours and then some to contemplate.
Your damn brother was the only thing that stood between you and Jaehyun.
Johnny wasn’t around this time for obvious reasons. There was no way in hell that he’d step foot in the house of his mortal enemy. He didn’t want you to be there either, but you assured him that you’d steer clear of all things Jeong Jaehyun.
And it wasn’t as if you had deliberately lied. It (kind of) wasn’t your fault that you didn’t know where the bathroom was.
“If you wanted to get to know me better.”
You stepped over to his bed, sitting beside him and sighing. “Jaehyun, you know my brother won’t approve.”
“I guess that’s a ‘no’ then,” Jaehyun muttered.
Your eyes glanced at his handsome face, then his beautiful, twinkling brown eyes, and finally his soft pink lips. And when they flitted so low, there was no looking back. You leaned in and pressed your lips to Jaehyun’s, waiting for him to kiss back, and when he did without hesitation your heart soared.
His hands flew to your back, eyes fluttering closed. God, he tasted as good as he smelled, and it was more than a little arousing. You made him fall against his mattress, straddling his hips and kissing him even deeper.
The change was welcome. His heart was racing just from locking lips with you and it took him to the sky. He grabbed a hold of your hips, which fit snugly in his palms, and listened to the soft sighs that slipped from your mouth in between the kisses.
Mark was probably downstairs wondering, Damn, bitch, how long does it take to piss?
You pulled back when a certain groan of his turned you on a little too much to be safe. Jaehyun was secretly disappointed, but he didn’t complain, taking time to catch his breath. “Is that a maybe?”
You giggled and shook your head. “It’s a yes.”
Jaehyun sat up and grinned. He knew what he was getting himself into, but he didn’t care. There was something about you that made him defy gravity.
Still straddling his hips, you threaded your fingers through his hair and leaned in to whisper into his ears, “We’re playing with fire.”
“Ironically, I thought the same thing,” Jaehyun deadpanned.
You chuckled. Well, if you didn’t care, and he didn’t care, nothing more needed to be said. You were really doing this.
Jaehyun realized that he already really liked holding you. You were warm and soft to the touch, and you fit perfectly in his arms. “Have you been drinking?”
“Nope.”
“Did you do any drugs?”
“Not even a little,” you said, raising a brow at the question. Much to your chagrin, it reminded you of your brother’s incessant worry. “Why?”
Jaehyun said without hesitation, “Because I’ve got weed.”
That was exciting. No wonder Jaehyun never came downstairs during his roommates’ parties. The real party was in his bedroom. “Geez, Dimples. What are you waiting for?”
Jaehyun laughed at your enthusiasm and grabbed his lighter off his nightstand. You were flattered when he let you roll and even more when he praised your technique, which took years to develop. Thank god for your experienced friends.
The high had you hyper aware of everything. Jaehyun’s whole room smelled like him, to no surprise. As he said, he lived there, fuck’s sake. But it was pleasant and you were honestly forgetting that you even promised to return downstairs.
The guilt and pressure of keeping secrets from Johnny was heavy on your back a few moments ago, but after the marijuana settled in, you relaxed into Jaehyun’s side. He didn’t seem to mind. Maybe it was the tree getting to his brain, but his hands got a little bolder, too.
And it also only enhanced your curiosity. “Do you do this often, Jaehyun?”
“You mean invite girls into my room to talk and smoke?”
“Yeah.”
Jaehyun took a drag and exhaled into the thick air of his room. “Eh, not really. I’ve had girls in my room before, obviously, but it never really lasts.”
You weren’t surprised. Any girl could see that Jaehyun was handsome as all fucking hell and you didn’t expect him to be a total sexless loser. Matter of fact, if he told you that he was a virgin, you doubted that you’d even believe it.
“Maybe you haven’t met the right girl then,” you suggested coyly.
Jaehyun chuckled. “Maybe.”
It was way too soon to ask if he thought you were the right girl, so instead you settled for asking where his interests lay. “What exactly are you looking for?”
Jaehyun knew the answer to that question in perfect detail because he’d thought about it countless times, being his typical hopeless romantic self. This was a boy that dreamed of finding his miss right before he went to bed. He was a simple guy. He wanted picket fences and kids. Perhaps a puppy.
But maybe it wasn’t all too simple. Jaehyun wasn’t searching for a housewife. He wanted someone to go to random old shops with and look at vintage items together. He wanted someone that didn’t draw a lot of attention, but liked to go outside and explore. Money be damned. Thanks to his mother, he had ample cash, but no one to spend it on.
Jaehyun hummed, pretending to think about his answer. “Guess.”
You threw him a look. “Are you serious?”
Jaehyun bobbed his head eagerly, lips curling into a mischievous little grin. “I’ll tell you, but I want you to guess first.”
You sighed and glanced around his bedroom for clues, and fortunately enough, there were plenty. “Vinyls from the nineties. You’re an old soul and you want someone who fits your vibe. You smell like expensive cologne, so maybe you want someone to wine and dine, but you definitely want to be comfortable.”
Jaehyun said nothing, but you could tell that he was listening.
You looked at the pictures of him and an older woman framed on his nightstand and continued, “You want the type of girl you can take home to your mother. And your mother wants the absolute best for her son, so she raised you to have high standards.”
“You’re good at this,” Jaehyun muttered.
“I’m nowhere close to being finished,” you said, grinning from ear to ear. “Judging from the souvenirs on your shelf, you like going to different places, so you want someone curious and adventurous in nature. Appreciative and respectful of different peoples' cultures.”
Jaehyun was only smiling at this point. It was kind of funny and spooky being read like this.
“You’ve searched for love and haven’t found something that feels right, so now you keep girls around for a good time, not a long one. And you love a damsel in distress, I think,” you said, concluding your investigation.
“Wow,” was all Jaehyun said.
Though you already knew the answer, you pressed your lips into a smile and asked, “Am I warm?”
“You’re on fire,” he replied, wondering how in the hell you got all that just from looking at his bedroom. “But how did you know?”
“That you love a damsel in distress?”
“That I’ve looked for love and gave up on it.”
You almost rolled your eyes. You couldn’t believe he was seriously asking that question. “No offense, but you scream hopeless romantic. Plus you’re hot. You know your worth and what you want and I doubt it’s meaningless sex.”
Jaehyun had this melancholy look on his face for the briefest of seconds, but it disappeared so quickly you could’ve imagined it being there.
“I don’t think you gave up, I think you took a little pause. You know she’s out there, and when the time’s right, you’ll know.” Then, you abandoned the sadness and quipped, “But you’re also a guy, and guys want sex.”
Jaehyun chuckled, but you had somehow penetrated his mind. You had part of him figured out and he didn’t know what to do with that. It was too soon to get too deep.
You exhaled contentedly, but the marijuana had you thinking. You could’ve been wrong about Jaehyun. You had definitely been wrong before.
There was this tension in the room now that neither of you were equipped to handle. As standard when he was fooling around with a girl, there was a piece of him that wondered if it could be the real thing this time, but he didn’t want to get ahead of himself.
It wouldn’t have been the first time.
Jaehyun gave you back the blunt. “What about you - what are you looking for?”
“Who said I was looking?” you asked with obvious amusement.
That shattered Jaehyun’s former thoughts of possibly wifing you up one day. Of course you didn’t intend on dating the dude your brother hated. It would’ve been a very unconventional relationship. You could keep him around for fun, but it would have to end sooner or later.
So Jaehyun contentedly resigned himself to the fact that you would pass, just like all the other girls he brought up to his room, and decided he was fine with that. Maybe he had high standards, but you’d forgotten to mention the part that they came with moderate hopes and low expectations.
That way getting hurt was borderline impossible.
Then, Jaehyun started to grin like an idiot and reminded, “You said that you think I’m hot.”
“I literally said that ten hundred hours ago,” you groaned, exhaling a puff of smoke into the air.
You cried out in shock when he grabbed your hips and pulled you back onto him again, but instinctively leaned into his shoulder. Jaehyun was (usually) humble, but anyone who thought he didn’t know he was hot was a fool. “Am I hot enough to kiss?”
Your lips tugged into a smile, and rather than directly answer his question, you went in for a kiss, holding the blunt away from his face so that he wouldn’t get burned. Jaehyun effortlessly matched your rhythm and it was dumbfounding how he could be so excellent of a kisser.
You spent the better half of the night passing a blunt back and forth with Jaehyun, kissing and talking in between (featuring some inappropriate touches). Jaehyun was so fucking easy to talk to, the topics were boundless. Neither of you opened up much outside of your relationship goals and lack thereof, but you still got to know each other a little better.
Jaehyun loved music from r&b to jazz to soul, though you could’ve guessed how passionate he was after one look at his vinyl collection. He was flirty sometimes, but soft-spoken and very gentleman-like and he never once proposed for the two of you to have sex. Plus he was a bit of a goofball.
To say nothing of the fact that he could play the guitar. You didn’t know why, but that somehow made him even more delightful.
It was pleasant to be in the presence of a guy that was simultaneously attractive and respectful.
Because it was far too late for you to drive yourself home when you finally started to get sleepy, he let you steal his bed and slept in the room of one of his roommate’s that was never home, according to Jaehyun.
Jungkook was what he said his name was. Apparently he basically lived full-time in his girlfriend’s apartment and Jaehyun didn’t know why he still paid rent, but he didn’t complain. It was going to be a sad day for his bank account when Jungkook finally moved out.
And that left Yugyeom. He was the one that threw all of the parties. You asked Jaehyun last night why he rarely came downstairs during those parties and his response was, “I don’t like the attention.”
Morning had come loudly as ever. Birds chirped outside, singing sweetly. You stretched your arms above your head and yawned, unable to ignore the dark curtains that effectively kept the sunlight out.
The first thing you did was let a little light in. And the second thing was remember how you spent last night, memories of marijuana and laughter, and flirtatious behavior hitting you all at once. It seemed that Jeong Jaehyun was a promise of fun.
Grabbing your phone, you headed down the stairs and breathed a little in relief when you saw Jaehyun already awake, waiting by the toaster. “Good morning, Dimples.”
Jaehyun turned when he heard your voice and the smile that spread across his lips was instantaneous. “Good morning, beautiful. How did you sleep?”
“I should’ve known that your bed would be as cool and collected as you are,” you quipped, rubbing your arms. It was colder without Jaehyun’s blankets to help strengthen the temperature.
Jaehyun shook with mirth and it was a sight you wanted to see more often.
“I could’ve slept on the sofa,” you said without complaint. “The party was over by the time we called it a night and it’s the most comfortable sofa I’ve ever put my butt on.”
“It goes against everything I believe in to let you sleep on a couch when there’s a perfectly functional bed upstairs.”
“Aw, what a gentleman,” you replied, coming to stand at his side. “I drew the curtains in your room open, by the way. I don’t know how you live like a damn vampire.”
“What’s wrong with living like a vampire? Vampires are cool.”
“I don’t think Vampires need Vitamin D. Humans do,” you retorted, arms crossed.
Jaehyun’s lips curved into a stupid little smile that reeked of mischief and you instantly knew where his thoughts were before he even said anything.
You rolled your eyes at his silliness and told him, “Whatever you’re about to say - don’t.”
Bagels popped out of the toaster and the sight of food made Jaehyun forget about his previous shenanigans. He set both bagels on individual plates that already had food and said, “I made you something. It’s not much because I’ve gotta go soon, but I didn’t want you to be hungry.”
“Thank you,” you said with gratitude, accepting the plate he handed to you. Plate in hand, you went to sit at the table, watching Jaehyun bring cups over.
“You’re welcome,” Jaehyun told you gently. “Next time I’ll make you a real full-course meal as a treat.”
You gawked. “You can cook?”
“A little bit, yeah. Why?”
“You just got so much hotter,” you breathed.
Jaehyun grinned.
The time you spent together that morning was a duplicate of the night before except there were only the lingering overnight highs instead of the fresh ones. You were sad that you had to leave, but Jaehyun had to work and you needed to go home.
Sitting in your car, you checked your phone for the first time in hours. There had to be a thousand missed calls and unanswered messages from your friends and Johnny. Though it wasn’t unusual for your phone to be on Do Not Disturb, it was definitely strange to not at least tell your loved ones that you were very much still alive.
You were just so hooked on Jaehyun that it completely slipped your mind to check your phone. There wasn’t a dull moment upstairs in his bedroom and even when it was silent you were comforted by the sound of a vinyl playing quietly on his record player, which you were stunned that he even had.
You texted your friends to let them know that you were on the way home and called Johnny to get his usual tantrum out of the way before you got there, but it was safe to say that you weren’t expecting to come back to Johnny and Mark waiting for you in the kitchen like two unhappy parents.
You reached into the cabinet to grab a glass and deadpanned, “Uh oh. Am I in trouble?”
Mark snickered and he looked like mischief. “Very much so.”
Your gaze flitted towards Johnny, who was clearly the more disgruntled of the two, and asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You look like you had a long night.”
“That’s probably because I did.”
“Did you hook up with anyone?”
You grimaced. “Gross, Johnny. Do I ask you who and what you do with your dick?”
Johnny gave you a look that told you he was serious.
“No, I didn’t hook up,” you replied, filling your glass with water and hoping to find a way out of this situation so that you could shower and brush your teeth.
Johnny’s lips were tugged into a frown. This older brother responsibility was far from easy when his little sister made it even harder to check up on her. “I worry about you. Is that a crime?”
You exhaled a long breath. “You’re right. I should have at least let you know that I was okay and I didn’t, and I’m sorry. I just got… distracted.”
That got Mark’s attention and he butted in dramatically, “Where did you go last night? I was this close to filing a police report, but it hadn’t been twenty-four hours.”
Typical cop father response. That was half the reason why nobody wanted to deal him drugs. Thank goodness he had you to vouch for him. “And what would you do if I was off with a serial killer instead of some hot guy?”
“I wouldn’t be too worried. You’re annoying. They would return you on the front doorstep with a note that said ‘come get your bitch back.’”
You were tempted to roll your eyes, but you noticed Johnny laugh a little and it honestly made you feel somewhat better. He had been painfully uptight lately and you just wanted him to chill for once.
“I’m gonna go take a shower and brush my teeth,” you announced, discarding your glass in the sink and heading for the stairs.
Of course, Mark had more insults on deck and didn’t hesitate to ask, “You’re gonna need more than that for all the cum you had to have gargled last night.”
“For the last time, I did not hook up,” you huffed in exasperation, marching up the stairs. “And get the hell out of my house - you don’t even live here!”
You could hear Mark laughing from the overlook.
A lot of time was spent counting down the hours until you could see Jeong Jaehyun again. You learned that he was not the type of guy to sit around waiting by his phone. This was a busy man with business to take care of and he didn’t have a lot of spare time.
You didn’t mind, because he spent it talking to you, which was definitely an indicator that he was starting to really like you. With so few hours in a week, let alone a day, it was hard to believe he let just anyone consume the little downtime that remained.
Jaehyun let you crash some nights at his place when your brother was being a massive thorn in your side. It wasn’t a crime, but it was easy to get away with, all things considered. Yugyeom never bothered either of you and Jungkook was rarely there, so you spent most of the time talking incessantly and getting high.
Maybe some kisses were shared in between, but nothing more. Jaehyun was content with just getting to know you for now. His usual invitees consisted of one-night stands and girls he hung out with for a couple of weeks, but you were different. You made him think, high or not, and it was rare a girl penetrated his mind so deeply.
And so quickly. It had only been a month, maybe a little longer. He was still afraid of being completely open with you, but the way the two of you touched each other was starting to get riskier and riskier.
Kisses lasted longer. More than once, he caught himself going after your clothes, but he didn’t want to seem like an animal. You did seem a little eager too, kissing the breath out of him and getting more and more flirtatious, but Jaehyun hated having to guess.
He wanted you to tell him what you wanted in no uncertain terms. No room for uncertainty.
Yugyeom knocked on Jaehyun’s bedroom door, which was already cracked ajar, and asked, “Hey, is she coming over tonight?”
“Yes, so please be on your best behavior. No bullshit,” Jaehyun replied, getting a whiff of the trouble that was Yugyeom and wrinkling his nose.
“Have you guys… you know?”
“That’s a personal question.”
“So you haven’t.” Yugyeom pressed, “Man, when are you gonna tell her you’ve got the hots for her? You know what, I’ll clear the house and leave a bottle of wine out. Light one of your expensive candles. Girls like that shit.”
Like hell Jaehyun needed advice on how to set the mood, from Yugyeom much less. Plus he was none too pleased at being interrupted, especially because now he was thinking about having sex with you and it was doing things to him down there. “I think I know what girls like.”
“Then what’s the problem? And don’t tell me that you haven’t thought about it. We’re both dudes, man. That’s bullshit.”
“There isn’t one,” Jaehyun replied to his roommate honestly. Of course, he had thought about having sex with you. He might’ve been respectful, but like Yugyeom said, he was still a dude. Hell, the words had come out of your own mouth.
Yugyeom prodded, “Then?”
“I just don’t wanna rush into it.”
Now that Yugyeom could buy. Jaehyun was sentimental like that. When he really liked a girl, evaluating her worth took priority over getting laid. Jaehyun had this wall of ice put up that even Yugyeom had to steadily break through. Ironically, sometimes it felt like he was still on the outside.
But he put two and two together. If Jaehyun liked you - as in really, really liked you - then that made shit even more complicated. It was no secret that Johnny had it out for Jaehyun and he obviously came to the same conclusion that Jaehyun had; shit getting serious with you was dangerous.
So Yugyeom left it alone.
Like clockwork, you were pulling into Jaehyun’s driveway only a few hours later. You discerned that the lot was empty save for your car and Jaehyun’s which more than likely implied that the two of you would be completely alone in the house together.
Slipping the spare key from under the mat, you unlocked the door and sang after locking it behind yourself, “Darling, I’m home!”
“I’m upstairs,” Jaehyun called out from the second floor, his room door obviously open for once. The benefits of having the house to himself.
You didn’t hesitate to make your way upstairs, not failing to clock the bottle of expensive wine on the counter when you passed by the kitchen, but you thought little of it when you came through the hallway and slipped into Jaehyun’s comfortable bedroom. “Hey, Dimples,” you greeted.
Jaehyun smiled at you and waved. His room was dimly lit. The overhead lights were turned off, but the candles on his nightstand were ablaze and there was an old school classic going on in the background.
The second you came in, Jaehyun set his book aside, giving you his undivided attention. “Come here.”
You wasted no time doing as told, advancing towards the bed and giggling when he snatched you into his open arms for a handful of kisses. Your whole body was soothed from his slightest of touches, at ease in his arms. Jaehyun had quickly become your second safe place.
God, you had been waiting for this moment all week. Johnny wasn’t on your ass any more than usual, but it got lonely in that house and it was even worse when you found yourself only craving Jaehyun’s company. There was something happening to you and you couldn’t tell if you liked it or not.
Jaehyun drew back after a minute, taking a moment to breathe and brush a loose strand of hair behind your ears. “Things okay at home?”
“New topic,” you groaned.
Jaehyun winced. That couldn’t have been too good.
“You smell good,” you purred, breathing in his scent.
“You always say that.”
“Because you always smell good.”
“I just got out of the shower.”
“Without me?”
“You sound like a guy,” Jaehyun said in disapproval.
You snickered. You had definitely gotten that comment from a boy before.
Jaehyun’s eyes were fixed to your face, taking in how beautiful you were. Damn, it was like every time he saw you, you looked even more breathtaking.
You couldn’t help but stare back. Jaehyun’s visuals were out of this damn universe and it was borderline maddening he could be this fucking fine. But deeper than that, sometimes you couldn’t help but stare into his dark eyes and wonder what all he was hiding back there.
It was plain as day that Jaehyun wasn’t the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, especially not when his romantic feelings were involved. In the time that you’d spent together, you had gotten to learn some things about him, but there was plenty that he filtered out as a defense mechanism.
When you wanted to get closer, Jaehyun shut down, which was totally ironic, because he was the one that asked if you wanted to get to know him. Now you had to fight for it?
Maybe he meant get to know his body and you were oblivious - and you wouldn’t have minded one bit - but if that was the case, you should’ve already had sex and been out of the picture. Yet he was keeping you twice as long as most girls lasted and for no apparent reason.
Sex made things more complicated. If you had sex with Jaehyun right now, and it was good, there was absolutely no telling how that would shift the trajectory of your entire life. But the way he was looking at you right now tempted you to risk it all.
Your lips found Jaehyun’s again, but the kiss was different this time. It was needier, desperate. It sent heat stretching through every bone in your body and straight between your thighs, and you felt like you were levitating. Your body scorched with desire, hands running down his chest.
Jaehyun kept up with your reckless kissing very well, but he couldn’t ignore the nature of it and it made him ask himself questions. You were kissing him like you wanted him. Tired of wondering, he pulled back and asked forthrightly, “Do you want to have sex with me?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” you countered, quickly seizing the opportunity to return your lips to his.
All of this beating around the bush was getting on his nerves and Jaehyun took matters into his own hands. Literally. You gasped when he pushed you onto your back, pinning you onto his bed, and locked your wrists above your head. “I want to hear you say it.”
Now that was sexy as hell and your thighs involuntarily pressed together. “I want to have sex with you.”
That was all Jaehyun needed to hear. He was quick to catch your lip in between his teeth and seal your lips in another heated kiss, taking in your every trembling exhale. You moaned into his mouth, a little too enamored with how good it felt beneath him.
His hands released your wrists in favor of your waist, testing the waters. You were reactive to Jaehyun’s touches, hyper aware of his hands steadily falling lower, but not daring to touch you too intimately yet. Like he was waiting for something to happen.
Jaehyun’s eyes sank to your empty neck and something deep in the pit of his gut was set on fire. “Are marks okay?”
Making quick work of his shirt and tossing it over his shoulders, you nodded your head. “Yeah. Johnny will notice, but he’ll never assume they’re from you.”
It took absolutely nothing else for Jaehyun to connect his lips to your throat hungrily, leaving mark after mark on your skin in an effort to stake his claim to you. And all it did was turn you on further. There was a thudding between your legs, arousal spilling over.
Little soft sighs and curses slipped from your lips and you could feel the bedroom get hotter and hotter. It wasn’t as if you and Jaehyun had agreed to be exclusive, but you hadn’t been with anyone else in the time that the two of you had been hanging out, meaning it had been over a month since you’d last had sex.
And it fucking showed. You were aching for more, on top of your natural desire for Jaehyun. If you didn’t fuck his brains out right now you were going to self-destruct.
“Jaehyun, fuck me,” you groaned impatiently.
Instead, he grinned, too fond of the neediness in your voice and on your pretty face. Jaehyun looked you plain in the eye and said, “I want you to beg.”
You were too gone to roll your eyes, but not too out of it to retort, “Make me.”
“I’m gonna make you beg, alright,” Jaehyun said without question. He made a move for your shorts and tugged them off your ankles, repeating the gesture with your panties.
The only thing that kept you from being totally naked was your top but Jaehyun didn’t look too concerned with getting rid of it yet. Instead, he focused his undivided attention between your legs, entranced by your glistening core and his mouth going dry with the desire to have a taste.
You watched the enthrallment on his face with satisfaction. Funny how his ability to conceal his emotions went out the window when pussy was involved. His eyes were dark as ever and Jaehyun’s voice somehow got deeper when he asked, “Will you let me taste you?”
“Fuck,” you mumbled, sensing that he was about to wreck the living hell out of you. “Uh, yeah. Yes.”
No room for uncertainty. Now that he had your consent, Jaehyun gathered your legs in his hands, tossed them over his broad shoulders, and went to town. You gasped aloud at the first pass of his tongue at your clit and it couldn’t have been further from tentative.
Of course this man went straight for your sensitive bundle of nerves instead of your slick folds, he knew better. Given how exciting the thought of Jaehyun dicking you down had been, you were already throbbing, but now you were tense and unstill.
There was something about the feeling of his lips sucking and licking at your cunt that made you squirm and cry out in an overwhelming bolt of pleasure. Jaehyun clamped his big hands onto your thighs to keep you pliant, holding them right where he wanted them, and kept eating you out.
It made zero sense how hot you found every little thing that he did.
“Jesus, fuck,” was basically all that you could say. With how vigorously Jaehyun was sucking at your bundle of nerves, it was getting borderline impossible to think.
Jaehyun sure didn’t seem timid. Matter of fact, the way he refused to shy away from in between your pair of legs, doing everything in his power to keep them separated at both sides of his head, said loud and clear that he was a man on a mission to make you unravel.
Not to mention that he was doing a damn good job. Your ears were hardly even working, the whole world fading to static, the only audible sound being the incessant throb of your pulse quickening by the minute.
The sheer opposite was true for Jaehyun. His ears were on full alert and he could hear everything from the increasing volume and speed of your breaths plus your soft moans to the gentle rustling of the trees' leaves outside his open window.
Jaehyun peered up at you, noticed the euphoria tensing your beautiful features, and his lips broke into a wide grin. “How are you doing up there?”
No words would come. It took twice as long to even process the ones that left his mouth. Your eyes were drooping and misty, damp with moisture, and all that escaped you was a befuddled, “Fuck.”
Jaehyun snickered. That was answer enough. “It sounds to me like you’re having a fun time,” he started. “Do you want to cum?”
You obviously heard that and hissed, “Don’t ask stupid questions.”
“If you want to cum, then beg me for it,” Jaehyun growled darkly. You appreciated the brief lull of peace, but of fucking course, it was that moment Jaehyun chose to press a long pair of fingers into your dripping pussy.
Your back arched and your soft cries filled the air. It felt like somebody had given Jaehyun the blueprints to your body with how he excelled at satisfying you in ways literally nobody had previously.
The answer was obvious. Jaehyun wanted you to beg? Fuck it. You would beg.
“Please,” you said, your voice raising a few pitches. “Oh, god. Please make me cum, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun didn’t make a sound but you could feel his mouth on your cunt again and knew that he was about to take you there.
And then it came. The mind-numbing orgasm engulfed you in its fury and you were scarred with burns from head to toe, most of it pivoting towards your core.
Your hands desperately grasped locks of Jaehyun’s soft fluffy hair in an attempt to anchor yourself and you didn’t release him from your clutches until every tremble faded. Jaehyun got so aroused watching you shudder with release that he swore his own mind went blank.
It took a good minute and a half at the least for your mind to start to clear itself and you sighed pleasantly as the wrath of your orgasm slowly began to die out. You peered down at Jaehyun, blinking a couple of times, and slackened your grip when you realized how tightly your hands were latched to him.
Jaehyun didn’t seem to mind, contentedly watching you try to gather your bearings. “Are you back to earth?”
“Barely,” you rasped, still unable to feel your thighs.
“Do you want to stop?”
You gawked. “Are you kidding? I still wanna fuck you. If you still wanna fuck me.”
“I still want to fuck you,” Jaehyun said, pulling you in for another hot but reassuring kiss. It was hard to breathe, but so worth it. You slipped your tongue into his mouth and tasted yourself on his.
Kissing you made Jaehyun feel like he was ascending, but right now it also made his dick ascend and his patience was steadily dissipating into thin air. You could feel his hard-on against your naked thigh and it sent shock waves to your brain.
I think that’s the best head I’ve ever had, you admitted to yourself, but not aloud. Your dating history wasn’t top secret but you spoke little of it to Jaehyun. Did it matter that all of your exes were scumbags and rarely bothered to get you off?
Except for one. The sex was good, but it wasn’t a fair trade-off for your heart. No man nor his cock was worth your sanity and you told that to yourself every time you engaged with one.
Plus you just got this weird feeling where nothing or nobody else mattered when you and Jaehyun were alone together. You didn’t think of the various roots of the stresses in your life and calmness was finally an option.
You didn’t want to ruin that, so you didn’t get too deep.
But you were hoping Jaehyun was packing enough to be deep inside of you. Fuck that, you had felt it against your thigh. You knew that he was and it was exciting.
Your voice was weighed down by the thickness of your breaths. “Do you have condoms?”
“Always,” Jaehyun replied, pulling a drawer open on his nightstand to retrieve one.
That was a relief. You had never done it raw before and though you liked Jaehyun, you weren’t sure where his dick had been and what all it had seen. You’d rather be safe.
Jaehyun gently pushed you back onto the mattress and crawled over you, drawing the condom between his teeth while he tossed your shirt and bra halfway across his bedroom, then whispered, “Tell me how you want it.”
“Hard and deep. Deep and hard,” you confessed sultrily, looking him dead in the eye.
Jaehyun smirked. “That can be arranged.”
You watched Jaehyun shuffle out of his pants and put the condom on, but the bulk of your attention was set on that thick, girthy cock. Your mouth was watering. Maybe some other time you could suck him off, but right now getting it between your thighs was all you wanted.
It didn’t seem as if he glanced up, but Jaehyun said, “You’re staring.”
“Sorry.”
“No, you’re not,” Jaehyun said.
You giggled. “No, I’m not.”
The sound faded when you spread your legs apart invitingly and he penetrated you at an excruciatingly slow pace, sinking deeper inch by fucking inch.
You and Jaehyun made a sound in harmony when he finally filled you to the hilt, grasping your waist and using it as anchor like he was at risk of going dangerously deep if he made one wrong move and never returning to the surface.
Good thing it was only the two of you. You, keeping quiet when he was this good with his hands and presumably even better with his thick cock? There was no way in hell.
“Oh my god…,” you whispered, obsessed with the sensation of being filled.
Whatever you were thinking right now, Jaehyun wholeheartedly agreed. You made his brain grind to a halt and stutter. “Does that feel okay?”
“More than okay,” you told him, because it was the truth. Somehow the pleasure was only spiking. The ecstasy continued to build.
You looked so beautiful beneath the golden-yellow hue of his lamplight and Jaehyun knew he would be fantasizing about how your face tensed with pleasure for weeks, if not months.
Jaehyun especially liked the way you were tightening around his cock, gripping it for dear life as if letting go simply wasn’t an option. You wound your legs around his hips and helped draw him into yours in spite of knowing it could ruin you, a telltale sign that your desire for more outweighed any rational thinking.
It just felt so good that it had to be illegal and though you knew that it wasn’t, it was damn near close.
There was still music playing from the vinyl player in the background that soothed any and all nerves that you could’ve ever had. You took a moment and inhaled deeply, breathing in the musk of Jaehyun and the scent of the candles.
Your eyes fluttered closed. It was ironic that you were on a raging high even though you hadn’t even gotten around to having your usual fill of marijuana. In legal terms, you were far from inebriated. But according to yourself? You were fiending for Jaehyun and found him lethally intoxicating.
His weight on top of you. His deep, guttural grunts in your ear between his jagged breaths. His perfect thrusts and the way he stroked you exactly how you wanted, all the while reaping his pleasure from your body.
It was fucking mind-blowing.
Jaehyun had a similar thought and it tore a noise out of him. His intentions in inviting you over tonight weren’t to have sex, in spite of his roommate’s attempts at getting him to get laid when he was only trying to break you in, but it was an unregrettable decision.
“You take it so good, baby,” Jaehyun said tenderly, but it barely scratched the tip of the iceberg of praises he had in storage especially for you.
Fuck, you wanted to hate how easy it was for him to kindle these rash flames inside of you, but your attraction to Jaehyun became undeniable the second you initiated the first rendezvous.
You were peering into Jaehyun’s soul, searching his whole face without knowing what you were looking for, and saw the euphoria fluttering his eyes closed and spreading his lips apart just enough for those heavenly sounds to slip through.
You guessed you found it then, because the tightening in the pit of your gut was at an all-time high and it wasn’t skipping out on the extremes.
Combing your hands through his hair, you whimpered, “I’m so close.”
Jaehyun accelerated his pace, wanting to take you to the ends of the earth and back. You noticed, because you could feel his hard dick slapping against your hips with a purpose, and you swore to god your eyes rolled somewhere black.
The end was creeping up on you from behind. You could feel it. Jaehyun could feel it himself, the telltale twitch of his cock indicating that he was pushing his limits.
“I want you to cum,” Jaehyun growled in no uncertain terms, his tone dominant. “Nice and hard. Can you do that for me, baby?”
“Yes,” you choked out.
If you were being frank, he didn’t even have to ask. It was impossible to hide the evidence of your impending orgasm, the heightened tremors in your voice and the shakiness in your body were more than enough proof.
All you could think about was how restlessly you were going after this orgasm and how terribly you needed it like it would fix every little thing going wrong in your life.
Your hands slipped from Jaehyun’s hair to his shoulders to finally his back, raking your nails down the flesh in a set of ministrations that were bound to leave red lines, and you rasped breathlessly, “Finish me.”
The hoarseness of your voice alone could’ve broken Jaehyun but he hung on for your sake, fingertips flitting to your sensitive, swollen clit again because he knew he wouldn’t last very much longer.
You were even more restless than before and it wasn’t long until Jaehyun granted your wish, your lips parting in a scream and your vision going totally black. Your toes curled into tight bends as you grinded your hips into Jaehyun, milking your release for every damn dime.
Jaehyun could feel you clenching rapidly and repeatedly around his cock and merely seconds after that it was game over. He came with the deepest, sexiest groan you had ever heard before in your life, hips stuttering as his cum filled the condom, and all you could think about was how this could not be a one-time thing.
The next few minutes were a blur. You only recalled Jaehyun peeling off you to dispose of the condom, the layers of sweat on your naked bodies keeping you connected, and returning to your side briefly.
Jaehyun scanned you for any signs of obvious discomfort. “Are you okay?”
Your mouth was hanging open, aggressive pants falling from your lips, but Jaehyun’s attention was no longer focused on your heaving chest - it was on you. “No, more like incredible.”
That had Jaehyun in the first half, but he snickered in amusement and relief when you wrapped up your sentence. “Do you wanna shower with me?”
“That’s kinda intimate,” you said, as if that was actually going to stop you. “Hell yeah, I do.”
Jaehyun rolled his eyes, but there was a smile plain as day on his face. You cried out in surprise when he hauled you into his burly arms, hooking one of them under your knees, and carried you into his bathroom.
Your own individual toothbrush was in there on the sink counter squarely beside Jaehyun’s. It was only right that he let you keep one there, given how many late Friday nights you spent at his house instead of your own.
Plus some of your clothes were there, tucked into his drawers, but when you returned to his bedroom, you donned one of his shirts that was unsurprisingly oversized on you.
You sat on Jaehyun’s bed, memories of what you’d just done on his sheets still fresh, and watched him rifling through his vinyl catalog, but because he was shirtless you quickly got distracted by the view you had of his back.
At least until he turned around after setting the vinyl on his record player, apparently oblivious, and coming to sit at your side.
There was mischief on your face and you were struggling to stifle a giggle. It was obvious, and Jaehyun furrowed his brows. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Oh, nothing.”
Jaehyun didn’t believe you at all, but he didn’t press.
You sighed contentedly, leaning into his naked chest. The little voice in your brain was thinking about how he smelled so clean and fresh, and good. Well, duh, she snapped. If you somehow weren’t paying attention, he just got out of the shower.
But you were definitely paying attention, maybe a little more than you should’ve. It wasn’t your fault he looked like the leading role of every romance book ever. This was a man out of every little girls’ childhood dreams and, more importantly, every grown woman’s wet ones.
As Jaehyun held you in his arms, you couldn’t help but think, spotting little items in his room that screamed, I come from money. “Jaehyun, is it okay if I ask you a question?”
Jaehyun hummed. You figured he might’ve been close to dozing off, but in reality, he was just captivated by the smell of your hair and hoping it lingered on his pillows.
“You’re pretty well-off, but you live with two other guys. You’re technically always alone, but you don’t live alone. Why?”
Now that wasn’t what Jaehyun was expecting you to ask him, but you were full of surprises. He took a moment to ponder his answer, finding himself reflecting. “It’s because of how I grew up, I guess. I was the only child, so it was just me and my parents in the house. I guess I kind of wanted to know what it's like to have brothers.”
You made a noise of content. “You’re close then.”
“Yup.”
You could feel Jaehyun playing with your hair and it made you smile gently.
“What about you and your friends?”
“What about them?”
“What’s the relationship like? Have you fucked Mark?”
You were taken aback, though rather than be affronted, the ridiculousness of that question made you laugh. “No way. I prefer my vagina itch-free,” you quipped.
Jaehyun chuckled. It was a shock that that kid got around town the way he did, but that was why Jaehyun had to respect the hustle.
Then, out of nowhere, you got a little sober. “On a serious note, Mark is my bestie and he’s what I imagine having a little brother is like. Johnny really likes him too, so sometimes I’ll walk in on them hanging out without me.”
You didn’t notice the way Jaehyun’s head bobbed along, but he was listening. It was believable. Mark was a social butterfly and impossible to dislike, no matter how irritating.
And he was only irritating to some. Those who didn’t find him to be a thorn in their side probably wanted him a number of inches deep in their guts.
You continued, “Yuta is more Johnny’s friend than he is mine, but he’s laidback. Haechan is a little shit but he’s funny as fuck. And you know Jeno is chaotic as ever.”
You were fond of your circles of friends. Most folks assumed it must’ve been suffocating to be the only girl amongst a group of insufferable horny dudes, but it wasn’t half bad. Jeno had tried to get into your pants before, but when you turned him down he took the rejection coolly.
Mark, like you said, was like a sibling to you and that went both ways. When somebody suggested the two of you hook up, his knee-jerk reaction was to hiss, “Ew!”
Haechan was a slut like all of them but he knew better than to slut himself out to you and Yuta, though you already couldn’t have been further from his type, was one of your older brother’s closest friends. According to Yuta himself, the thought of being in a relationship with you was hilarious.
Never mind the fact that he admitted he’d actually do it, but strictly for fun. Pissing off Johnny was his full-time job and dating his younger sister? It would’ve been the easiest way.
You and Jaehyun chatted until you couldn’t ignore each other’s incessant yawns and made the mutual agreement to crawl under the sheets together. A rare Jungkook appearance one weekend forced you into bed with each other and ever since that was how you’d slept.
Side by side, skin to skin.
The sun was brighter than ever when you woke up some hours later. You noticed that the curtains were open. And they had been since you likened Jaehyun to a vampire.
Speaking of Jaehyun, he was still sleeping like a rock beside you, completely still other than the gentle heave of his chest as he snored quietly. You crawled gingerly out of bed so as not to disturb his rest, the sight of him still asleep when you stood making you sigh out in relief.
After a quick wash-up in the bathroom, you headed downstairs for a snack. Your stomach was rumbling and you realized that you hadn’t eaten since you left home.
What you didn’t expect was to see Yugyeom half-naked in the kitchen though.
You weren’t sure why. It was his house and if he wanted to walk around like he just went skinny dipping, then he had that right. Fortunately, he was wearing sweatpants, so you were spared from that unsightly picture.
Yugyeom heard your footsteps and turned. “Oh, hey. Sleep good?”
“I only slept for a few hours,” you confessed, though you felt like you were quite well-rested. “But yeah, I slept pretty good.”
Yugyeom chuckled. “I bet.”
You said nothing else. Yugyeom wasn’t a total stranger, even before you started crashing at his house, but you weren’t close by any means.
“I didn’t think you’d be here,” you said after a pause, straddling a barstool.
“I mean, I do live here. Who do you think pays most of the bills?”
“Jaehyun,” you chirped.
“Okay, that’s fair. Who do you think pays the second most of the bills?”
“You and Jungkook, but it wasn’t always that way.”
Yugyeom threw in the towel, realizing Jaehyun had most definitely had this discussion with you at some point. Then, he started to laugh. Jaehyun was discussing their finances with you? There was no way in living hell.
I’ll be damned. Yugyeomed sighed in amusement. “You know, you’re the first girl I’ve seen last this long with Jaehyun.”
“Oh?”
“I’m not saying he’s a player, but I thought I’d stop seeing you around here, like, two weeks ago. For a girl to survive a month with him, she has to really crank up his brain. And Jaehyun isn’t easily impressed,” Yugyeom said.
It was obvious what he was implying and you knew exactly where this was heading. “I’m sure, but Jaehyun and I are just vibing.”
“I didn’t say that you weren’t.”
“Yes, but you think that we aren’t,” you replied, rubbing your arms. It was always cold the mornings after.
Yugyeom laughed. “No, I don’t. Not right now. I didn't even crack Jaehyun that soon. All I’m saying is Jaehyun is a real gem and I think that you have a solid chance.”
“And you want me to take it?”
Yugyeom was strategically bouncing around, going from subtly planting ideas in your head to making them seem as if they were your own. “Whatever you do with that information is out of my hands and none of my business.”
Your lips parted to speak, but you were fortunately saved by the bell. Footsteps were heard from the hall and Jaehyun emerged from around the corner, voice deep from sleep, “What are you two talking about?”
Yugyeom lied without hesitation, “How handsome you are, of course.”
Jaehyun didn’t believe it for a second, but he stole the barstool beside you and gently nudged your elbow. “You think I’m handsome?”
“Oh, the handsomest,” you deadpanned, but rested your head onto his shoulder.
Jaehyun let you. At least for a little while, but then he pulled you into his chest and mumbled groggily, “You left me.”
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your hands tangled into his dark hair. “I’ll stay next time.”
“Good.”
Yugyeom was peering into the fridge, shaking his head, wondering if he was the only one that saw your fate.
The whole weekend was spent in Jaehyun’s arms, restless. If you weren’t getting high on marijuana and chatting about whatever came to mind, you were dancing to one of his vinyls. If you weren’t kissing each other breathless, you were fucking each other senseless.
It was two days of whimsical fun, ignoring the world and its insignificant little woes. In many ways, Jaehyun was like your oasis.
You were starting to hate Mondays. They were the days where you realized that nothing was forever, every time without fail. The days you had to finally face the world after a weekend of neglecting its existence.
Plus you didn’t get a lot of Jaehyun during the other five days of the week, and though you understood your conflicting schedules, it was getting less and less easy to cope.
Finals week thankfully gave you less time to think about whatever the hell was blossoming between you and Jaehyun. You didn’t want to think about it, because you were well aware that it wouldn’t last. As perfectly as Jaehyun molded into you, there was no piece of him that fit the bigger picture.
But of course, you were pacing down your school’s courtyard with a bag slung over your shoulder when you noticed Mark’s footsteps catching up to you. “Wanna tell me why Johnny asked me if you’ve been going out with somebody lately?” he asked.
You pretended to be oblivious, keeping your head straight and your steps quick. “Why would he ask you that?”
“Because I’m your best friend and you tell me everything, or so I thought,” Mark hissed.
You groaned, weighing your options. You could keep this private love affair to yourself and let the guilt and pressure split you down the middle, or you could confide in your best friend and hope it took the edge off.
Pulling Mark behind a tree and scanning your surroundings for unwanted bystanders, you exhaled roughly and said, “Don’t freak out, but I may or may not be sleeping with Jeong Jaehyun on the weekends.”
Mark was understandably dumbfounded by that information and screeched aloud, “What the fuck, dude?”
“I just said don’t freak out!”
Mark shook his head, the total opposite of cool and collected. There was no way in hell he wasn’t going to freak out. “Are you kidding? Johnny literally wants to kill him.”
“God, I know,” you bemoaned, pressing a palm to your forehead. This whole situation combined with the stress of finals was giving you a splitting headache.
The shock was still evident on Mark’s face, but he seemed to be cooling off. “Shit, dude. This is crazy. Is the sex at least good?”
Your mind was fluttering with memories and it was hard to resist a smile. Getting laid right now would probably fix you. “Jeong Jaehyun may be a scoundrel for whatever reason, but I can reassure you he is not lacking in the sex department.”
Or any department. It was strange that in the weeks the two of you had spent bonding and the like, you had yet to identify a single red flag of Jaehyun’s. Apparently, the weirdest thing about this boy was the amount of pictures he kept of his toes.
“Oh my god,” Mark gasped.
“What?”
“That night you went upstairs to pee and didn’t come back,” Mark started, finally connecting the dots and displeased he hadn’t seen the hints earlier. “You were off screwing Jaehyun, weren’t you?”
“Actually, no. I was with him, yes, but we weren’t hooking up then.”
Mark was baffled to very fucking his core. That had to be half a decade ago. This whole time, you were spending your spare time on Jaehyun and nobody knew?
Gripping Mark by the shoulders, you stared into his eyes and said sternly, “Listen. You can’t tell Johnny.”
Your best friend made a face of disapproval, but nodded his head. “Alright. Fine.”
“I’m serious. You have to promise.”
Mark groaned, “Dude, I’m not gonna tell Johnny that you’re fucking Jaehyun. No matter how bizarre and borderline batshit insane that is to say aloud. I promise your secret is safe with me.”
You released his shoulders and a shaky breath, relenting. “Okay.”
“But that doesn’t mean that I approve.”
“Understandable. I can live with that.”
“I don’t see how,” Mark grumbled under his breath.
You frowned.
Months flew by. Christmas and News Year were a blur, two events you and Jaehyun spent at separate locations. Your parents were rarely home, but the winter holidays were a period of time that they always made sure to be around for. And Jaehyun paid his family a visit that week.
But then it was February, and the national holiday that was Jaehyun’s birthday came of nowhere.
“No way you were born on Valentine’s day,” you remembered telling him a few months back after asking him about his birthday. Jaehyun had groaned, more than accustomed to how this conversation played out. This was far from his first rodeo.
Though it was rare that a girl made it to actually celebrate his birthday with him.
Idiotically, you found yourself scorching with nerves that afternoon, overwhelmingly anxious. Your whole body was tense and you paced around your room antsily for hours until it was time to get in your car and head out to Jaehyun’s house.
You had gotten him a gift and you weren’t sure whether he would like it or not. Then again, you had spent weeks planning what you would give him based on every second of every little conversation you’d shared and you were half confident, half uncertain.
Jungkook opened the door to leave at the same moment you were preparing yourself to go inside, most likely heading to his girlfriend’s place after spending the morning celebrating his friend’s birthday, and held the door open for you. “Uh, do you need a minute?”
“No. Thank you,” you replied bashfully, catching the door and finally turning inside.
You took one more deep breath and paced upstairs while gripping the box in your hands so tightly it might’ve broken.
Jaehyun was sitting on his bed, his guitar in his hands instead of standing upright in the corner of his bedroom as typical, and glanced up when he heard your footsteps. “Hi.”
“Hi, birthday boy,” you greeted.
Jaehyun was smiling. You had already wished him a happy birthday at midnight on the dot which was a sweet gesture in itself.
“I, uh, got you something,” you said, mentally cursing yourself for sounding so nervous.
“I can see that.” Jaehyun set his guitar aside. There was curiosity in his stare, but he whispered, “You didn’t have to.”
“But I wanted to. You’re my… friend,” you told him awkwardly, handing over the gift before it made you say something stupid. “I didn’t know what to get a guy who has literally everything he wants, but I tried.”
Jaehyun accepted the gift box graciously, peeling off the wrap, and said, “Whatever you got me is more than enough, baby.”
You sure hoped so. You didn’t spend the past few weeks stressing over this very moment for nothing. You wanted to give him something thoughtful and memorable.
Anticipation made your heart sound like thunder. You fidgeted, twiddling your thumbs as Jaehyun slowly opened the box, retrieving a guitar strap alongside a couple of other items. The awe that tensed Jaehyun’s features was authentic and your heart was taut with giddiness when his lips tugged into a beaming smile.
A few words scribbled onto the guitar strap caught Jaehyun’s attention and he unhesitatingly pulled them closer to his face to get a better look. It was like a little note, but words only you would say. Play me till the end.
“Wow,” Jaehyun whispered, feeling a thumping inside of his ribcage. “You… I literally mentioned that I wanted one of these in passing.”
“When you talk, I listen.”
Jaehyun’s eyes met yours. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” you murmured, straddling his lap and tossing your arms around his neck. “Happy birthday, baby.”
Jaehyun set his hands at your hips and kissed you restlessly, restraint taking the backseat as he absorbed every bit of your warmth and used it to fuel his fire. Your lips took him to the other side but your hands kept him grounded.
Things felt different now. Kissing Jaehyun had never not been spellbinding, but right now? The feeling in your chest was indescribably hot.
But it was dangerous and terrifying. It defied everything you told yourself to be true, and every principle you had laid out. This was deeper than building a relationship with the enemy. It was the intimacy that accompanied trusting another guy with your heart, and fighting the unshakable doubts.
You had built something of a friendship with Jaehyun. Friends that occasionally kissed and felt each other up and had hooked up more than once.
But what if you wanted more? What if you were really two star-crossed lovers that couldn’t have each other? What if?
Jaehyun wondered if your feelings had gotten as tense as his were. Months ago, he was telling himself not to get too close to you because of who your brother was and your clear lack of romantic intentions, but no amount of walls he put up could’ve prevented his feelings from getting this deep.
You wouldn’t tell him even if they had. What good would it have done for him to know that you loved him, but you couldn’t have him?
When Jaehyun pulled back, he stared into your eyes, not at your lips. “Let’s go make hot cocoa,” he said after a pause.
You blinked in surprise, but Jaehyun was already tugging you along before you could even think.
The time in the kitchen together was a beautiful mess. You liked randomly bursting out into song and Jaehyun liked dancing, which ultimately turned into him tenderly cradling you there in his arms and mumbling into your ear, the hot cocoa all but forgotten.
You especially liked the toasty smell of a hot, creamy mug of hot chocolate. It was very Jaehyun-like. The winter seasons in general were reminiscent of his personality, not because he was cold (like some people assumed), but the sheer opposite.
Jaehyun was the warmest guy that you had ever met, in a way. Anyone who said otherwise didn’t have the privilege of knowing him, but you? You liked to think that you had him all figured out.
Maybe there was a chance you did to an extent. Getting to know him over the course of these long months had definitely shifted your previous perspective. Jaehyun kept to himself because he was afraid of his vulnerability being used as a weapon, but when you broke those stubborn barriers, you saw that Jaehyun was just a guy that wanted a home.
He had one, metaphorically speaking, but no one to share it between. That was why you used to think he was shy, and why others thought he was cold. Jaehyun wanted to protect the home he’d built for himself and was reluctant to let others in, because he wanted it to be sturdy for the ones he would let stay.
A hopeless romantic to his core.
After making sure the kitchen was tidy, Jaehyun led you away to the infamous white couch that stretched along his living room wall. Your favorite spot in the whole house. Aside from his bedroom, of course.
Jaehyun, on the other hand, couldn’t decide. Half of it was littered in a slew of memories of you and his whole bedroom smelled more like you than it did himself now. Picking a favorite would be an impossible choice.
There was a lull of silence as the two of you sipped from your mugs, but it wasn’t an issue. The silence was always comfortable with Jaehyun, as well as literally everything else about him.
Though you didn’t notice, the weird thing now was that Jaehyun was less secure. He didn’t make it obvious, but he was remarkably nervous. Jaehyun tried to cloak his nerves when he said, “I kind of got you something, too.”
Your eyes went wide with shock. “You got me something… for your birthday?”
“I mean, yeah. It’s also Valentine’s day and you’re… important to me,” Jaehyun confessed softly, a tiny smile breaking out onto his lips.
“I am?”
“You are,” he whispered, hurriedly reaching into his pockets for something. Imagine your surprise when he dropped a USB drive into the palm of your hand. “Stick it into your computer when you get home.”
You nodded obediently, sitting it on the coffee table so that it wouldn’t be crushed in your jeans, but your innate curiosity was never satisfied and you asked, “What’s on it?”
“A surprise,” was all Jaehhyun said.
You hummed. If Jaehyun didn’t want to tell you, you knew it would be pointless to press.
But you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t killing you.
Jaehyun knew that. He knew you were a curious individual, because he was drawn to your insatiable need to know. But he didn’t want to be there to see your reaction. Just looking at you made his chest taut and rejection’s brutal fangs still ripped him to shreds.
At least you couldn’t tell by looking at him. Jaehyun had made sure of that. “Talk to me,” he said, squeezing your hand.
You smiled, because his hands were warm from the hot cocoa. “About what?”
“Tell me more about yourself. It’s been months, but I feel like there’s still more to know about you. Talk to me about what you love. Your hopes and dreams.”
A little sigh left you. “Where do I even begin?” That was what you said, but you’d already continued without affording yourself any time to pause. “I want to be an orthopedic surgeon. I’m obsessed with anatomy and how our bodies function. That’s why I’ve been busting my ass for grad school.”
That much was obvious. Anybody that saw you on the party scene might’ve assumed you were merely another hopeless college student who only knew hooking up and getting shit-faced drunk, but Jaehyun’s first time seeing you was in the back of a library with a laptop and a heap of textbooks.
You were a hard-worker and no hangover stood a chance between you and your goals. But you were also just a normal girl who wanted to let loose sometimes. It was the perfect balance.
Jaehyun was a keen listener. “That sounds tough.”
You fought a groan. “God, yes. But it’s so worth it. It’s my senior year and I’ve been waiting my whole life for med school.”
“You’ve wanted to be a surgeon for that long?”
“I’ve always known who I wanted to be,” you exhaled contentedly. And for that you were endlessly grateful. “What about you?”
Jaehyun shook his head. “No. Not always. First, I guess I had to leave home and do the whole ‘finding yourself’ thing.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s rare that people are born with an innate sense of who they are. We deserve to live life through trial and error. That’s freedom,” you said.
Jaehyun wholeheartedly agreed. Leaving home to explore his identity might’ve been the toughest decision he ever made, but also the best one. “What about love?”
“What about it?”
“Did you ever dream of that, too?”
You should’ve figured he would go there. It was the essential question. The world of trauma beyond your control. “I used to,” you admitted, somber. “I just haven’t had a ton of faith in it lately. That’s what happens when you grow up, I think. You realize life’s not like the movies.”
Funny how I call you a hopeless romantic when hopeless romantics are anything but hopeless. In spite of the pain and the betrayal, they refuse to accept that they might die alone one day. If anything, I’m the hopeless one. I’ve fallen in love with the one boy I could never make mine.
Jaehyun frowned for a split second, but recovered quickly. “Yeah, I know.”
You wondered who had hurt him, but chose not to ask. If he wanted to tell you, then he already would’ve.
“You didn’t ask me,” Jaehyun started.
You glanced up at him.
“About my pain,” he continued shortly. “About her.”
“I didn’t think you were ready.”
“Do you want to know?”
“I mean, yeah. Of course, I want to know who hurt you and how that made you who you are. I want to understand you. But only as much as you want me to,” you told him. The truth was that as curious as you were, you were afraid of overstepping. The same way that Jaehyun was terrified of oversharing.
He replied with total certainty, “I want you to know.”
You swallowed, feeling a lump form in your throat and unsure why. It was his deep, dark secrets being revealed, not yours. Plus you were positive there wasn’t a single person in the county who didn’t know your history with your one and only ex. “Okay. Take your time.”
Jaehyun heaved a shaky breath, preparing himself to share something that he’d never specifically told anyone. “Back home in Seoul, I dated a girl. I was naive and I thought she was the one. But she wasn’t. She only wanted a guy handsome enough to impress her parents.”
You maintained eye contact to let Jaehyun know you were listening.
Jaehyun continued, “I guess we had different desires in life. She wanted a boy to show off and I wanted a girl who was my best friend at the foundation. We only talked about surface things. I couldn’t be myself around her.”
You nodded. That sounded like the Jaehyun you knew.
“Then, I found out she was cheating on me,” Jaehyun added calmly, but he still recalled the trembles of anger that wrecked through his body. “And I left her then and there. I dipped. I might’ve been a naive idiot, but I knew my worth. She was my first and my last.”
You were shocked. That you shared the same pain - an unfaithful partner - and that Jaehyun hadn’t had nearly as many other partners as you thought he would’ve. “You’ve only dated once?”
“For me, once was enough to figure out what I wanted in a relationship, and it wasn’t a girl who I could barely trust or be myself with,” Jaehyun said. “I talked to other girls, but like I said before, nothing lasted, and I’ve obviously hooked up.”
Ironically, I’ve been hurt more by girls I never had than a girl that was supposed to belong to me.
“I harbored resentment for a long time, but what lasted longer was the leftover fear of trusting someone again. I only let people see what I want them to see. And because of that, I’m a little lonely sometimes, but it’s okay.”
“Does it get sad?” you asked quietly.
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe, but it’s better than being heartbroken. Anyways, I’ve gotten better about inviting people into my life and having good judgment. Time makes it easier.”
You make it easier, was what he meant, but Jaehyun wasn’t that bold yet. He might have been the one to approach you and attempt to initiate this private affair, but you sticking around was the last thing he expected. And that opened the door for the possibility that relationships didn’t have expiration dates.
Reading between the lines, you were hoping that somewhere along them he wasn’t hinting about a potential future with you. Jaehyun’s head was in the clouds, but you were grounded below the surface. Because you had already resigned yourself to the fact that you didn’t have a future together.
But of course, that never stopped you from letting him undress you.
You were hyper aware of Jaehyun’s eyes staring into yours and it was beginning to unnerve you a little. “Is there hot cocoa on my face?”
Jaehyun shook his head with a cute laugh and finally leaned into you for a kiss, obviously done speaking and prepared to show. You let him take you down onto the couch, laid defenseless beneath him, on the edge of surrender.
You giggled into his lips, pleased at how silly it was that he tasted like the hot drink you’d shared. Your hands were wound through his hair and tugging him closer to you, wanting to be inseparable. You wouldn’t be sated till his soul was tied to yours.
When it came to your body, you were more than inclined to let Jaehyun dominate you. But your heart was more than you had bargained for.
Jaehyun yanked at the waistband of your sweatpants and you swore you could sense your heart swelling with the exhilaration of getting laid by the only guy you wanted. You raised your hips, letting him take them and your underwear from underneath you.
You gasped loudly when his fingers ghosted along the insides of your thighs and unhurriedly traveled to your core, which was throbbing at the barest of touches. Jaehyun made you ache. Your body neglected every thought that didn’t concern him when it longed for him to use it until you were sore.
Jaehyun sucked a slick pair of fingers into his mouth fleetingly before inserting them inside your pussy, making you verbally respond to the contact with a soft whimper, and stole the sound right from your lips with a hot wet kiss. You only tightened around his digits when he pressed his lips to you and it made his head spin quicker than ever.
You pulled back and panted, “So, you won’t let me sleep on the couch, but you’ll fuck me on it?”
“It’s seen worse days,” Jaehyun said, muting the sound of his own chuckle when he pressed his mouth to your neck.
You were torn between a laugh and a moan and the final sound was a breathy whimper of Jaehyun’s name. His mouth felt too good on your neck and you couldn’t forget his hands between your parted legs. Gentleman in the streets, but a beast in the sheets.
Jaehyun was touching you impatiently. Your exhales were loud and jagged when he pulled back from your stained throat, and Jaehyun couldn’t help but imagine the noises you would make when he was finally seated deeply inside of your pussy that was clenching around his long slender digits.
Deciding you were wet enough to take his cock, Jaehyun recouped his hand from between your thighs and asked, “You ready for me, baby?”
“More than,” you whispered, disgruntled with the emptiness but consoled by the knowledge that you would be full of him momentarily.
Jaehyun stepped out of his clothes without hesitation and got a hold of your naked legs, dragging you toward him and leaving no room for empty space. The two of you locked eyes when he finally started to penetrate you and he looked at you with need. But you glanced away. You couldn’t stare into his soul as he captured yours. You couldn’t do it.
You moaned when he pushed the head of his cock through your entrance and again when it went as deeply as it could enter. The stretch was so mad, but so good. You never knew how closely the pain could be interlocked to pleasure before Jaehyun took you for a spin on his big cock.
Jaehyun pulled out with a disgruntled groan, stealing the pleasure before you could really soak in the sensation.
You winced your eyes open and asked confusedly, “Why did you do that?”
“I forgot a condom,” Jaehyun admitted bashfully, a timid little glint in his stare.
“Gee, you sure chose a fantastic time to remember,” you deadpanned.
Jaehyun looked like he was a little ashamed and it amused the hell out of you. In the heat of your vice-like cunt, he’d lost track of all thoughts other than getting his cock inside.
You gawked when he stood and you caught an eyeful of his cute butt when he turned for the stairs. “Where are you going?”
Like it was the most obvious thing in the whole world, Jaehyun replied nonchalantly, “To get a condom.”
“Sit your cute ass down,” you told him a bit too assertively. “You can have me raw.”
Jaehyun looked like his brain short-circuited. “For real?”
You nodded. “Yes, for real, you dummy. Just pull out.”
Jaehyun combed his fingers through his hair and groaned, “That’s one hell of a responsibility, woman.”
You purred teasingly, “Are you scared you won’t be able to do it, or are you scared that you’ll bust too fast?”
Jaehyun’s eyes fell to your gorgeous, spread legs, thickly swallowing the lump in his throat at the mouth-watering sight of you laid bare and exposed as you waited for him to take you. Fuck. Maybe both.
You snickered to yourself. Unbeknownst to Jaehyun, you were on birth control. And you had no intention of telling him right now. You wanted to gauge his restraint.
Jaehyun didn’t reply, but he did return to the couch to slip between your folds again, and that was even better. Your pussy throbbed tirelessly, missing the way his thick cock stretched you out, and it drew deep grunts from the very back edge of Jaehyun’s throat.
You could feel every inch of him pressed deep inside your pulsing walls, flush against you. All of him. There was literally nothing to separate the two of you, exactly as you had wanted, only the heat and tightness of your cunt suffocating his cock relentlessly.
Jaehyun loved how you took him like a fucking champ. You sucked his cock back in like you needed it, like you needed him just as badly as he needed you. Your eyes winced closed and your lips parted as you sang his name in a shrill whimper.
You were rapt with ecstasy at his long, deep thrusts that took you to the moon. The pain and guilty thoughts disappeared into his slow yet steady rhythm, as if Jaehyun wanted to make sure you could feel every bit of himself that he had to offer.
Like he was making love to you.
“You’re so beautiful. I’m in love with your body,” Jaehyun whispered gently into your ear, hooked on you.
You moaned, oblivious to the fact that he really meant he was in love with you. When your naked bodies were bursting with heat and satisfaction, meeting each other in a wet collision, all else ceased to matter.
Jaehyun kissed you again. You swore he stole the pulse right from your chest in that very moment, your heart open to him. His hands were everywhere, tenderly cupping your breasts and thumbing your stiff nipples. This was pleasure. This was elysian. This was all yours.
You were breathless when the two of you separated and the minutes of your lips tangled together felt like mere seconds. God, Jaehyun made you insatiable. As you did to him. The two of you couldn’t get enough, not of the sex and not of each other. It was lethally dangerous to want something as badly as you both wanted one another.
But you knew that when you laid eyes on him, when you indulged him. You knew that he was endless trouble and yet you crept into his arms anyway like a moth to the flame.
“God, fuck,” you rasped, throat hoarse from how you were screeching his name. “You make me feel so good.”
Jaehyun was so gentle and affectionate with you, tickling kisses down every bit of your soft skin his lips could access. It was times like these, when he completed you perfectly, where you welcomed the thought that you were made for each other. And only for each other.
Your mouth was dry, open with every halfway cry of Jaehyun’s name that you could manage. Your skin was damp and sticky with moisture, a thin layer of sweat keeping his skin adhering to yours. Of course, there was a similar glistening sheen dripping down Jaehyun, beading at his forehead and neck.
It made you lick your chapped lips. This man was abundantly mouth-watering. You wanted to give him anything he wanted and in this sex-induced haze, you knew that you would have.
Jaehyun noticed your eyes fixated on literally anywhere but his face and it made him chuckle smugly. He craned his head downwards to nibble beneath your ear and groan praises about how perfect and tight you were around his cock.
You tangled your hands in his hair again, desperate to ground yourself, before sitting them at his handsome broad shoulders. He had no business being this good at touching and fucking you. You were downright ashamed of the noises that left your lips but made no attempts to block the pleasure causing them to slip into the dense air.
“Like that. Fuck, I’m gonna cum, Jay,” you whimpered, squeezing his shoulders.
The thought of you releasing around his bare cock made a shudder shoot through Jaehyun and he almost couldn’t take it. You sensed his pace getting a little rougher, as if he was out to get you. Out to finish you. “Look at me,” he growled.
You did. You didn’t have any other options. Not when it was him bleeding you dry, making your body dependent on his touches.
Looking into his dark eyes, everything stopped. The whole world was set on pause. You almost couldn’t breathe. This was how it felt to fall with no anchor.
“I want you to cum on my cock,” Jaehyun said lowly, rutting into you at a dangerous pace.
You nodded. You were completely submissive to his desires.
There was a throbbing pressure in your gut that only got harsher with every wet smack of Jaehyun’s hips into yours. You wound your legs around his waist and pulled him into you, wanting to fuse together your limbs.
Your body felt as if it were on fire. The sweat cooling down your neck, the lack of oxygen in the air. The breaths Jaehyun snatched plain from your lips. It was more than enough to take you out.
Jaehyun watched as your orgasm finally seized you in its open arms, taking you by surprise. Your abs tensed viciously and you arched into Jaehyun with pleasure, sensing your eyes roll to the very back of your head and your toes curl into taut knots.
You were still sensitive from your climax but Jaehyun’s pace was absolutely unforgiving, rutting into you mercilessly through your release. The tightness of your pussy drew a thick groan out of his mouth, but he still wasn’t done with you yet. And you were very keen on letting him use your body until he finished.
Jaehyun relented when you finally started to calm down after coming undone, kissing your cheeks and the corner of your lips as you went almost entirely slack. The only motion in you was the aggressive heave of your chest as you panted for breath.
You let Jaehyun thrust in and out of you, fighting the overstimulation for his sake. You were content to feel him brushing against your slick walls and hear those breathy grunts.
Smoothing your hands up and down his burly arms, you whispered, “Jay, baby, keep going. I don’t care how long it takes. Fuck me until you’re done.”
Jaehyun bit his lip to veil a pathetic moan at those words. After he took care of your needs, you were letting him ply you for his own pleasure. You were his vice, his ruining. Your fingers grazed across his back, gathering the droplets of moisture that were beading at the surface.
You could feel how hot his skin was, burning up in the heat of you.
Abruptly, Jaehyun pulled out of you and tore you upright, holding his desperate cock in the palm of his hand as he groaned, “Get on your knees.”
You obeyed without hesitation, meek. Crawling onto the carpet floor, you took him in your palms and stroked his thick girthy cock gingerly, careful not to be too rough. He was victimless in your warm hands, needy and at your mercy, leaving you with total control.
Then it was game over for Jaehyun when you finally took him between your soft lips, gently easing him to the back of your throat. God, it was a struggle to fit his big cock completely into your mouth, but you somehow managed. You kept your cheeks hollowed, opening them for him to thrust.
“Fuck,” Jaehyun moaned, head thrown back and eyes winced closed. You knew exactly what needed to be done to finish him off.
You liked playing with his cock, obviously, but you loved having it in your mouth way more. There was nothing like driving Jaehyun to the cusp of insanity, teasing him with your tongue and hot mouth, plucking those beautiful sounds out of his lips. He lost himself whenever he was inside your throat.
Jaehyun was in total bliss. Your mouth was no less impressive than your sheathlike cunt for all he knew, your lips wrapping around his stiff cock feverishly without a doubt in your mind that you could make him lose his own, and he almost didn’t want to orgasm yet. He only knew you, and what you did to him. And he was too greedy to want it to end.
You had this boy all to yourself, wrapped tightly around your fingers with nowhere to hide. And you didn’t have the slightest clue what to do with him, or yourself.
Aside from pleasuring each other in bed, or on the couch in this case. You were exceptionally gifted at getting him off.
Jaehyun could feel himself approaching the threshold of release and he did everything in his power to fight it off, to keep it at bay, but it was basically useless. He couldn’t even help but fuck your mouth. You were working him too good and he was coming whether he liked it or not.
You were impressed that he had even lasted this long. Normally, when you let a guy hit it raw, they could barely resist emptying their load into you at the peak of climax.
Jaehyun ultimately couldn’t control himself anymore and his jaw slacked with a deep, lethal groan as his hips came to a total standstill, painting the back of your throat with a streak of cum. Fuck, it was the sexiest noise you’d ever heard, and it aroused a throbbing between your legs.
You managed to gulp him down and it was the hottest thing Jaehyun had ever seen watching you swallow his cum like that. He pulled back, a misty gleam in his dark soulless eyes as he collapsed onto the couch, breathless. There was a layer of dew at your lashes and you dabbed at your eyes to wipe them clear.
Jaehyun looked like he’d just had the ground ripped from underneath him. “You just blew my mind,” he said through jagged breaths.
You didn’t miss a beat. “I just blew you.”
Jaehyun laughed, shaking the hair out of his face.
After both of you found your clothes and redressed yourselves, you decided to mention slyly, “By the way, I’m on birth control.”
Jaehyun’s mouth gaped open. “Are you serious? I was scared you might get pregnant.”
“That didn’t stop you from fucking me though, now did it?” you replied, crossing your arms.
“I wasn’t that scared.”
You snickered. This idiot was a man you wanted to protect with your life, but you knew that you lacked the arsenal. “Besides, at least our baby would’ve had the world’s finest father.”
“And the world’s finest mother. They would’ve been beautiful,” Jaehyun flirted.
Your cheeks flushed with heat at the compliment and his obvious flirtatious behavior. “I meant that you would’ve been a good dad, but sure. That works too.”
Jaehyun’s eyes flickered in shock. “Why do you think that?”
You shrugged, not thinking too hard about it. You didn’t need to when the answer was right at the tip of your tongue. “Because love itself is your passion. You’re selfless, patient. Protective. And you fight for what you love.”
Jaehyun said nothing. He was mulling over your confession, suspiciously quiet the whole time, but you were so tired that you hardly noticed. Your body was spent and you wanted to go upstairs and climb into his bed.
You stretched your arms over your head and stood to collect the cocoa-stained dishes in your arms. Jaehyun blinked at the action, and would’ve stopped you to do it himself, but you were already halfway to the kitchen by the time he noticed.
Jaehyun walked over and pressed himself behind you, draping his arms around your hips and resting his chin on your shoulder. You giggled, enamored with how it felt to be skin-to-skin with him, and when you finished with the two mugs, he reached over your head to set them down in the cabinets.
You dragged Jaehyun upstairs by his arm to his own bedroom and slipped beneath his silk sheets, but invited him to drape himself above you and rest his head on your chest like you were his fluffy pillow and he was the thick, cozy blankets.
It was comfortable that way. You liked Jaehyun’s weight on you, so close to you, crushed beneath the pressure. His arms would tangle around you and leave you little room to escape. But you wouldn’t want to leave.
That was how you woke up sometimes. You used to be afraid that you’d accidentally rouse him and disturb his beauty slumber, but Jaehyun always slept like a ton of bricks. This boy could probably sleep through a hurricane and wake up wondering what happened to his roof.
You sighed, whisking your fingers through his dark hair and staring at his face. You expected his eyes to be closed when you looked at him, but they were watching you. The ache in your chest was unignorable, unbearable.
Those long nights and shorter mornings with Jaehyun were all you had, but you wanted something of permanence and you were finally admitting it to yourself. You knew these moments couldn’t last forever and didn’t attempt to deny it, but you were hoping and wishing.
Smoothing your thumb down Jaehyun’s cheek, you felt a piece of your heart crumble. I can’t have you and I don’t even know why.
“Jay?” you whispered.
“Hm?”
You hesitated, brimming with reluctance. A few months ago, you would’ve thought it wasn’t your place to ask, but dammit Johnny was your brother and Jaehyun… meant something to you. This was officially your business. “Why does my brother hate you?” you asked.
Jaehyun sat up abruptly, surprised. You matched the shock in his eyes, startled by his sudden movements. “You don’t know?”
You shook your head. “No. Johnny never told me. I assumed he would when he was ready, but it’s killing me and I need to know.” Because I can’t make sense of why we can’t be together, but ironically, it makes it easier to justify being here with you right now.
Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair, looking particularly perturbed. No wonder it was so easy for you to climb into bed with him. Night after night, weekend after weekend.
You were almost afraid to ask, “Is this going to change my perspective on you?”
“It shouldn’t if you believe me,” Jaehyun said, but the truth was that he wasn’t too confident that you’d take his side.
You peered up at him expectantly, resting your hand on his back while he sat beside you. You were partly terrified to know the truth, watching him nervously, but god, you were exhausted of being kept in the dark.
Jaehyun exhaled deeply. He didn’t want to lose you, not before he truly had you, but he knew what he was, and more importantly, he knew what he wasn’t. “You knew Mike, right?”
You bobbed your head, lips parting in surprise at the mention of Johnny’s friend, but let him continue.
Jaehyun explained, “I’m sure you know, but he was addicted to drugs and it was fucking up his whole life. I tried to help him get clean before he fucked around and killed himself. And he was, I think. That’s what he said.”
You recognized this story. Johnny had said something similar, but it was about his own efforts. You somehow never realized that Jaehyun and Mike were friends. “But?”
“But then he wasn’t clean anymore,” Jaehyun said in the tiniest voice ever. “Last year, at one of Xiaojun’s parties. It came out of nowhere. He overdosed on fent and coke.”
You knew that too. And you hated that Mike was gone so soon, taken by a poison he couldn’t stop once he’d gotten his hands on it. It was heartbreaking.
“Then some people started to say that I did it, that I gave him the drugs. And I was at the party only a room away when he OD’d, but I swear to god it wasn’t me. But they ran with it anyway.”
You frowned, pausing your hands’ consolations at his back in shock. It was starting to add up now, why Johnny hated Jaehyun. Because he thought he was complicit in the death of one of his closest friends.
That was when he started to become a tad too overprotective of you and it didn’t take a genius to piece together why, but you never knew it was the reason he loathed Jaehyun and didn’t want you anywhere near him. There were so many nights where you went to parties at Jaehyun’s house and Johnny would ask if you’d done any drugs.
Because of Jaehyun.
“God, to this day, I want to punch the bastard that gave Mike that stuff. And if I knew who he was, I’d kick his ass. So, I can understand why Johnny wants to kick mine. But it wasn’t me,” Jaehyun said, sounding broken.
You blinked, taking it all in silently. You were at a crossroads.
Though he was hesitant, Jaehyun glanced into your eyes, unsure of what your silence meant. It was killing him. “Please tell me you believe me.”
“I believe you,” you said, because you did. You had no reason to doubt Jaehyun. Plus you hadn’t known him to press his luck with anything other than weed in the time that you’d known each other.
“Thank god,” Jaehyun sighed in relief. “Does this change things between us?”
You shook your head. “No. I thought you were a good guy before and I still think you’re a good guy now. Nothing is new.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
Jaehyun rested his head on your shoulder and mumbled with obvious melancholy, “Trusting me.”
You laced your fingers through Jaehyun’s, squeezing his hand. “I’ll always trust you.”
That warmed Jaehyun’s heart and he sat there wondering what he had done to deserve you. It felt like there was a burden lifted from his shoulders.
The day went on, bleeding into night. You expected Jaehyun to want to go somewhere to celebrate his birthday, but he reassured you that he was more than content to spend it indoors with you.
Still, it made you a little sad and you tried your best to cloak your gloomy emotions with your affections. You didn’t want Jaehyun to know, but you were thinking about how nice it would’ve been to do something as simple as go out together.
Reasonably, you were shocked when Jaehyun said, “I want to try out this Japanese restaurant with you next weekend.”
You blinked. “You want to go out… with me?” you asked, making sure you weren’t mistaken.
Jaehyun nodded, enthusiastic. “Is that a bad idea?”
“What if we get caught together?”
Jaehyun shrugged. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Of course it is. You don’t have anything to lose,” you said, but your tone was humorous.
Jaehyun replied without hesitation, “I have you to lose.”
You were sold. Those five words were all you needed to hear.
There was a ginormous beaming smile on your face when you both finally decided to call it a night and you fell asleep with a certain soreness in your cheeks.
Jaehyun stayed up a little later than you had. Not on purpose, but it was impossible to rest his eyes when he was distracted by your sleep patterns. Your soft snores and the way your hand curled over his stomach.
It was the sheer opposite of annoying. It was intoxicating.
He was the one clinging to you when you roused from bed after sunrise. You felt bad for slipping away like a thief in the night, but in your defense, it was daytime and you had to be in your professor’s classroom for attendance.
After washing up and tossing on a spare outfit you had in Jaehyun’s room for events like these, you scribbled an apologetic note that he would surely find on his nightstand and quietly crept downstairs with a sadness weighing on you now that you had to leave.
And surely enough, Jaehyun woke up to the note and smiled like a dumbass when he rubbed his eyes and read it to himself.
Good morning, sleeping handsome. I’m gonna miss you today, but I have an early afternoon class that I have to pass to graduate. You sleep like deadweight, by the way. I had to fight out of your arms and you didn’t notice. See you next weekend. Call me.
Jaehyun crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower, but he could tell that you’d obviously already taken one with a single simple glance, and he was wishing you had invited him to join you.
Now he sounded like a guy. Which was fair, because he was one.
You raced home after class ended. Though you had more than enough exams that it would’ve been a good idea to study for, the main thing on your mind was plugging in the flash drive Jaehyun had gifted you, because you still were dying to know what was on it.
It was safe to say that a song was the last thing you were expecting.
You froze on your bed, unsure of how to feel. Everything hit you hard. The wistful yet romantic lyrics, the softness of his voice. Jaehyun was pouring his heart out to you, opening up to you about his feelings the best way he knew how.
There was a ripple of emotions bursting through you. The lyrics were a little too sentimental for you to attempt to convince yourself that this wasn’t Jaehyun’s idea of a love confession. Maybe you’d known all along, but you didn’t want to accept it, because you knew that it wasn’t written in the stars.
Now you had no choice.
You sat there and cried. God, it was a beautiful song and that only made the tears drip even harder. You were bemused and overwhelmed. Bemused that he had obviously taken a lot of time out of his busy life to sit there and record a song for you, and overwhelmed by everything else.
Jaehyun loves me. Jaehyun really loves me, you thought, admitting it to yourself. And it scared you to death, because you loved him too.
Then the day came for you to hang out at the restaurant. It was the first time you and Jaehyun actually spent time together outside of his house. The meetup on the bridge and the incident at Jeno’s house didn’t count. Those were merely instances you’d happened to cross paths.
When Jaehyun came up behind you in a back hug while you were waiting for him (you were embarrassingly early), you didn’t jolt or startle, relaxing into his touch without sparing him a glance first. Nobody else would be wearing his sexy ass cologne.
You didn’t mention the song or acknowledge the obvious romantic tension between you at all, much to Jaehyun’s disappointment. But he knew you definitely took the flash drive back home. It wasn’t on the coffee table when he went downstairs, meaning you had grabbed it on your way out.
He couldn’t help but wonder if you had listened to it and vividly pictured your reaction, but Jaehyun knew it would be pointless obsessing over the thought if he wasn’t going to ask.
The truth was that you were conflicted. Your heart wanted Jaehyun, but you were rational and knew it was ridiculous. There was no point in setting yourselves up for more useless heartbreak.
But you had fun with Jaehyun in that restaurant. You didn’t want to admit it, but it was the closest thing to a date you would ever have with him. You talked and held hands underneath the table like the pair of lovers you hoped you were in another life.
Your insatiable lovesick heart was aching for more. And the worst part was that Jaehyun was oftentimes right there in your arms but had never felt further.
It wasn’t until you were unfortunately back home and walking through the front door that you read aloud the text you’d received from Johnny. We need to talk. I’ll be home in an hour. “Well, that cannot be good,” you mumbled to yourself.
“It isn’t.”
You jolted in alarm. You didn’t know Johnny was home, though it had most definitely been well over an hour. Jaehyun was too interesting for you to even think about touching your phone once.
Given the familiar less than content glare on Johnny’s face, you fought a groan, wondering what you could’ve possibly done now when you’d been on your best behavior lately. You lilted in the usual tone you used when you wanted to get out of trouble, “Hi, my handsome big brother that I love dearly.”
Johnny, obviously not in the mood, snapped, “Taeyong saw you with Jaehyun today. You wanna explain that to me?”
That was the last thing you expected him to say and the shock was plain on your face. “What?”
Johnny shook his head, unsurprised that you were acting clueless, and though he was furious he tried not to raise his voice. “Don’t play dumb. Are you dating him - fucking him?”
“I’m not dating him, we’re just…,” you trailed in frustration, realizing that you’d been caught. “Shit, yeah. I’ve fucked him and we’re hanging out.”
Johnny blew out a long, exasperated sigh. “I can’t believe this. God, my own sister.”
Tears threatened. At this point, you were desperate. Your whole world was crashing down without warning. You wished you would’ve at least seen the text and braced yourself. “Johnny, please. If you gave him a chance, I think you two would really like each other!”
“I could never like him,” Johnny replied viciously, face tensing in fury as if the suggestion was an affront to his entire existence.
You approached Johnny, somehow mustering the courage to come near him. “Please listen to me, alright? He didn’t do it, Johnny. It wasn’t him!”
Johnny gawked. He couldn’t believe you were defending Jaehyun and took a gigantic step back, wanting to be nowhere near you. He hissed, “Of course that’s what the bastard told you. Did he give you proof?”
Frantic, you shook your head, and it came to you that you only had trust to back Jaehyun’s claims. “No, but...”
Johnny grabbed his keys and interjected, “Stop. Just stop. I don’t even want to see your face right now.”
Your lips were agape when Johnny stormed towards the garage, full of purebred rage and disappointment.
After a few minutes, the shock started to dull away and you temporarily regained the ability to function, racing upstairs to your bedroom to be inert. You hated the brutal sting splitting you in half. While your thoughts were on pause and you were consumed by emptiness, it was the one thing keeping you from dissociating.
Sitting there on your bed, knees pressed to your chest and your arms curled around yourself, you couldn’t even cry. It would come, but right now you were trying to process the pain. And in the meantime, you realized what needed to be done.
Two long days later, you were meeting Jaehyun at the bridge one final time. It took nearly forty-eight hours of gathering the courage to pick up your phone, but you had to let him know it was over. That this was goodbye.
You ran your fingers across the wooden overlook, taking in nature, but even the peaceful noise of your surroundings failed to soothe your heartbreak.
The sound of tentative footsteps barely drew you from your own head, and you didn’t want to face your visitor. You knew it was Jaehyun. For more reasons than one.
Though you couldn’t see, Jaehyun had his hands in his pockets. “Am I late?”
“No, you’re perfectly on time. I got here early. I needed time to think,” you replied with a fleeting glance at your watch.
Jaehyun watched you with unease, a perturbed thud in his heart making it challenging to breathe. This was bad, he knew, and for whatever reason, that fear that he was doomed was unshakable. “What happened?”
“Johnny knows,” you began, finally whipping around. It was the least you could do, knowing you had to break his heart. “Taeyong saw us together. He snitched. Now Johnny wants nothing to do with me.”
Jaehyun’s heart sank. No wonder you hadn’t texted or called him in two days. Aside from inviting him here, that is. “What now?”
“I can’t see you anymore. Johnny already hates me now. If I keep seeing you behind his back, I won’t have a brother anymore. I can’t live with that guilt. That’s why I’ve been running from it for months,” you said quietly.
Jaehyun stiffened, like a boulder. “We’re giving up? That’s insane! Don’t let him stop us from being together.”
You recoiled, surprised. “Are you asking me to choose you over my brother?”
“No, of course not,” Jaehyun sighed, combing his hands through his hands as he searched for the right words.
You desperately wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. “You should be with someone who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Someone you can hold and kiss outside without any worries. I can’t give you that, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun shook his head. “None of that matters to me. I want to be with you. I don’t care what compromises I have to make.”
“Well, I do,” you whispered sullenly, reminding yourself of everything you had to lose. “It was never going to work. You had to know this. We aren’t Shakespeare characters. Hell, even they don’t get to be happy!”
Jaehyun’s chest was taut with pain. It was usually him that had to tell people the brutal reality of unfortunate situations. And this was how it felt to be on the other side?
Fighting the oncoming threat of tears, you continued, “I’ve enjoyed these past months with you and we’ve made special, unforgettable memories together. But enough is enough. We were gonna have to face the truth one day, and that day is today. It was inevitable. I hope that somehow we can still be friends.”
Jaehyun spat, “I don’t want to be just friends. I can’t be just friends with you. Why don’t you understand that?”
Oh, you did. You really, really did. This was hurting you in ways unimaginable and nothing could’ve prepared you for the moment where you had to set Jaehyun free.
Not even knowing this day would come.
“I love you,” Jaehyun confessed for the first time, taking some steps closer to you. The gleam in his eyes killed you.
Those words were like ice in your veins. Your heart stopped beating. For half a minute, the whole world ceased. You shook your head, sensing a vicious pain returning to you. “You can’t love me.”
Jaehyun switched on a dime and hissed, “You can’t tell me how to feel.”
Denial still crept through your blood. Apparently, it was one of your many talents. Jaehyun’s too. “You’re in love with the idea of me. You just want somebody to love again and maybe I made you realize that, but you don’t love me.”
Jaehyun was trembling. You were trying to diagnose him and he wouldn’t stand for it. “Saying that doesn’t make it true.”
You were defiant. You needed it to be true. There had to be some way to get him to let you go and move on. You didn’t want to resort to cruel methods, but you would if you were rendered optionless.
Jaehyun continued, “You did make me realize that I wanted love again. But I also realized that I could have it all in you.”
Finally pushed past your limits, you shattered and screamed, “Goddammit, Jaehyun - you can’t have me!”
You turned away, hoping he would let you leave. You didn’t want things to end on even worse terms than they already were.
But you should’ve known Jaehyun would be relentless. He was a fighter. You were what he wanted, what he loved, and he’d damned if he surrendered without a fight. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to walk away?”
You rooted in place and exhaled loudly, bristling with frustration. “The fuck do you want me to do, Jay? It’s out of my hands.”
“Talk to Johnny - you know that I didn’t do anything!”
“No, I don’t know anything,” you grumbled, crossing your arms tightly.
That stunned Jaehyun. You didn’t trust him anymore?
Jaehyun laughed, but it was humorless. Needless to say, he was pissed. “Wow. You gave up the fight before it started, before it was over. You never gave us a chance.”
You walked away. You didn’t have the strength.
Jaehyun kept prodding. You were unbelievable and he couldn’t stand you right now. “I bet this isn’t just about Johnny. I bet him being your brother is just a cop-out so that you don’t have to trust another guy again.”
Now that stung deep. He was hitting you where it hurt, making sure you understood how badly you had wounded him, and you realized there was a chance he was right and you hadn’t even considered it. You whipped around, snapping, “Fuck you. I wish I never met you.”
Jaehyun watched you disappear behind the thick branches, simmering where he stood. God, he resented the fuck out of you right now. You were accepting defeat, throwing in the towel, and he hated you because of it.
The seemingly endless months of ignorant bliss were washed down the drain all because you didn’t want to be a little more optimistic. You could’ve had it all together, had you not resigned yourself to being unhappy. You were so hell-bent on being realistic that you closed the door on other possibilities.
Almost the second you burst through the front door, your tears fell after what felt like an eternity of fighting them back. Johnny and your parents turned to face you with alarm when you paraded through the living room, but you ignored your mother’s questions and made a beeline for your bed.
Johnny didn’t ask. He already knew, and he was only somewhat satisfied that you had done what should’ve never needed to happen in the first place.
The days of the week started to bleed into each other. You didn’t talk to Jaehyun for obvious reasons. Johnny, the man whose shoulders you thought would always be there for you to lean on, was ironically giving you the cold shoulder. And Mark wouldn’t understand even if you explained, though you knew he was available.
Never had you felt so alone. You had no one to escape to. No one who could comprehend or justify the moral dilemma you forced yourself into. I’ve truly outdone myself. I’ve betrayed my brother, baffled my best friend, and lost my lover back to back. That has to be a world record.
Seven days marked the longest time you had gone without speaking with Jaehyun since the onset of this private love affair. He didn’t call or text you either, which was understandable. Plus it was what you wanted, or at least that was what you used to think.
You weren’t sure anymore. Cutting him off was the whole purpose of meeting him, but why did it make you feel so isolated?
It wasn’t that long ago that you did it because you thought it was the right choice, or maybe because you thought it would make things better. But it hadn’t. Now that you had effectively shielded yourself from the universe, you were less free and more lonely.
And time continued to fly by, days of leaving the house only to attend class and coming back to your room only to collapse into sorrow.
Johnny felt bad. At night, there were a couple of times where he hovered near your door and heard you sobbing, but he was too petty and spiteful to knock or check up on you. You had stung him too.
The difference was that when Mike died, you did everything in your power to console Johnny. You gave him the space he needed, of course, but you opened the door for him to talk to you if he wanted and lent him a shoulder to cry on. You bought all his favorite snacks and encouraged him to go outside, even if it was just the backyard.
Now, you were suffering your own loss, one of many but in a different manner. It wasn’t like you were a bereaved wife, but the agony wasn’t any less excruciating.
Mark came over whenever he had the extra time to spare every week to check up on you, reminding you that you weren’t as alone as you thought you were, but you still didn’t want to confide in him about your emotions. You were afraid he would unintentionally make you feel more stupid.
You were a little verklempt. Maybe more than. They said time was the healer of all wounds, but with every week spent without Jaehyun’s familiar musk in the air and dreamy voice in your ear, you felt less and less whole.
What could you have done to keep him close to you, even if it was just for a little while longer? Maybe if you hadn’t ended on such cold, distant terms, moving on would be easier and you would be happier. You could’ve contentedly looked back on the memories of your last time together knowing you had done everything in your control to make it better.
But you were worried that that was false. You were worried that Jaehyun was right and this ending was premature.
It doesn’t matter, premature or not. It was going to end either way. There’s no point in delaying the inevitable, you reassured yourself in what you once believed was aggressively honest consolation, but you were starting to question how you could be so certain.
You told yourself that with the burden of your immoral secrets weighing you down, you and Jaehyun could’ve never been a pair. You knew it wouldn’t last forever. You’d always known. You didn’t expect things to make it this far, but dammit you didn’t expect to have your fun cut short so soon either.
It wasn’t fair.
Sometimes you dreamt of what it would be like to hold Jaehyun in your arms without worries, without stolen touches and kisses when nobody was paying attention.
You sat in the nook at your window, curled up into yourself, thinking only about Jaehyun. If it wasn’t for the stupid secret that unraveled far too damn quickly, maybe none of this would’ve ever happened. Maybe I would have you, with nothing to lose. Nothing to fear.
Fuck, you should’ve been happy. Given how unlucky in love you were, you doubted that you were intended to ever be happy. You hadn’t smiled in an eternity. But Jaehyun made you feel your peak of happiness, as if you had never been more euphoric with anybody else.
More than once, you had been in love, but never like how you were in love with Jaehyun. Why did things have to become so complicated for the both of us? Why did reality hit like a fucking freight train?
If only you never fell for Jaehyun, never even gave him the time of day, then you wouldn’t be hurting. Your heart was being tortured.
It took another day of stumbling into the kitchen with dark eye bags after yet another sleepless night of sobbing into your pillows, and Johnny ignoring your existence altogether while he poured himself a mug of coffee, but it finally occurred to you that you couldn’t relive this agonizing cycle over and over.
You were sick of the pain and the dread. The insufferably cold distance when his bedroom was right down the hall from yours. You were sick of sniveling until you had no more tears left to weep, until you felt totally empty.
Something had to give.
To your surprise, and luck, Mark called you a few minutes after you strolled back into your room wordlessly, devising a plan you loathed yourself for not thinking of earlier. “Hey, bestie. Talk to me,” he said. “How you feeling?”
“Like judgment day came early for me, I guess,” you mumbled into the phone, collapsing onto your sheets.
Mark sighed roughly. “Damn. I was hoping you would feel a little better this week. Johnny said you’re the world’s biggest hermit and it’s kinda depressing.”
That shocked you to your core, but you tried to play it off. “Oh, Johnny’s been talking about me?”
“Well, yeah. I’ve obviously been checking up on the both of you on the regular, and neither of you really wanna open up to me, but Johnny has less of an issue talking about you. Man, he still cares. He’s your brother.”
Your heart was sore. You wished he would tell you that himself. In your own home, to your own brother, you felt like a stranger.
Tears burned your eyes, but you fought them and lilted playfully, “Oh, my beloved bestie…”
Mark knew that tone and interjected, “Fuck.”
You fought a tiny laugh and continued, “Would you mind doing your best friend a teeny tiny little favor?”
The suggestion alone sounded like bad news and Mark was questioning what he was about to get himself into, because no matter what came out his mouth first, you were his best friend. Of course, he was going to tell you “yes.”
Mark huffed, “Jesus. Ease up on the mischief. Johnny still wants to beat my ass too, you know? He asked me if I knew you were boning Jaehyun and of course I couldn’t lie. I’m a man of God.”
Because you didn’t feel like disputing that statement, you ignored his speech entirely and asked knowingly, “Your dad’s a cop, isn’t he?”
“I don’t like where this is going.”
Your voice was maybe a little hopeful. “Is there a way that he can look into the investigation of Mike’s overdose?”
Mark knew exactly why you were asking and even he was ashamed he hadn’t thought of the little plan. There was a brief pause before he said, “I’ll call you back.” And then he hung up.
You were a little tense sitting there on your bed waiting around for a phone call. Not because you were worried about Mark not doing it, which would be ridiculous because you both wanted what was best for Johnny. It was because you were scared of not having a solution.
Deciding it would be useless to sit around antsily, you took a well-deserved nap after a restless twenty-four hours of no sleep. It would only do you good. Even if Mark didn’t have the answers you wanted, your grades would thank you.
Sleep came easy. Though they weren’t Jaehyun’s, it was nice and peaceful bunched beneath your blankets. You flipped your pillow over to the side that wasn’t stained with tears and let darkness take the wheel.
Johnny peeked inside your room after an hour or two, wanting to talk to you, but when he saw you comfortably snoozing in your bed and obliviously clinging onto a spare pillow for dear life, he backed away and shut the door. He knew you needed the rest.
You jolted awake when your phone started to ring vehemently beside your head, cursing yourself for not turning on Do Not Disturb before immediately remembering why you didn’t, and quickly lifting the phone to answer gruffly, “Hello?”
“Good news,” Mark started, sounding suspiciously chipper. “I had my dad pull some strings. And you’re gonna wanna hear this.”
Sitting up, you exclaimed in an impatient whisper, “Well?”
“Jeong Jaehyun is not a suspect, for one. There were witnesses that confirmed him giving Mike his fix was impossible. But for two, the case reopened a few months ago and they’re literally about to bust the guy that did it. They’re waiting on a warrant. You’ve got great timing,” Mark said.
You rubbed your eyes in disbelief. “What the hell?”
“Isn’t this good news?”
“Yeah, it is,” you whispered, too shocked to know how to feel. You didn’t think the stupid plan would really work. “Thank you, Mark.”
Mark was quick to reassure you, “You don’t need to thank me. You’re my best friend and Johnny is like my brother-in-law in some weird way. See, that sounds weird. Anyways, when do you plan on telling him?”
You laughed at his rambling, but hummed when you thought about his question. “Uh, would today be a bad time?”
“The sooner the better.”
You sighed in relief. Then, you donned the loveliest tone you could muster, and asked sweetly, “Will you come with me please? I think your presence will really help.”
Mark retorted, “Should I bring the entire police force too?”
You rolled your eyes and begged, “Come on, Mark. You’re my bestie and I need you. He’s more mad with me than he is with you and plus you have the benefit of a credible father.”
“I was already on my way,” Mark chirped, jiggling his keys loudly before hanging up.
You giggled. What would you do without that boy? He was your ride or die.
Fifteen minutes later, Mark was pulling into your driveway and hopping out of the car. You let him in, locking the door behind your best friend and embracing him in the biggest hug of his life. You needed the comfort to wean off your nerves.
The last thing you expected was for Johnny to come trudging down the stairs within the very next minute.
You released Mark, turning to your brother, and you and Johnny said in unison, “Hey, I really need to talk to you.”
Johnny blinked in surprise. It almost seemed like he was mirroring you. Mark snickered to himself, mumbling something about you two obviously being related, but Johnny was chill and said, “You can go first.”
You heaved a breath. It was a shock that Johnny deliberately chose to speak to you for the first time, presumably without the intervening influence of your parents’ rebuttal on your behalf. “I don’t know how to say this, but first I wanted to tell you that I’m really sorry for sneaking around with Jaehyun behind your back. It was a really shitty thing for me to do.”
Johnny nodded along, listening.
“But I fell in love with him,” you said without hesitation. “And I’m not going to ask you to accept us or anything. That’s your choice. But I thought there was something you should know that’s bigger than Jaehyun and I.”
Johnny looked tense, but he encouraged you to go on. “Okay.”
It felt like the whole world was watching you with Johnny’s eyes carefully set on your face, but you didn’t let it stop you from continuing, “It really wasn’t him that gave Mike his supply, and yes we have proof. Mark’s dad not only confirmed it wasn’t him, but they’re working on getting him into custody.”
Mark nodded, standing right behind you. Like he was vouching for you the same way you’d vouched for him all these years. “It’s true, Johnny. It wasn’t Jaehyun. It was some random shady dealer that preys on addicts at these parties. He has a track record.”
Johnny fell silent for a long time. You could see him stiffening, penitent. “I don’t know what to say,” he whispered. “I feel like shit now.”
You snorted. “Don’t do that to yourself. Please. I’ve felt like shit enough these past few weeks for the both of us.”
“About that,” Johnny began, getting whiplash. The look on his face was gentle, remorseful, and he hated himself for being anything else to his sister. To the last person that deserved his misplaced frustration. “I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for freezing you out.”
“Johnny…,” you trailed.
Johnny shook his head. He needed you to let him say this. “I know you’ve had a rough few weeks, and though I haven’t exactly been pleased with you, you’re still my sister. The least I could’ve done was ask you ‘how are you doing?’ but I couldn’t even be bothered.”
You sighed loudly. That was true. And you’d be lying if you said it didn’t rub salt in the wounds.
“I haven’t done a good job at showing it, but I care for you. You’re my only sibling and let’s be honest, I don’t think I’ll be getting another one,” Johnny said lightheartedly.
You snickered. Damn right. You knew your parents would vehemently agree if they were here. They couldn’t be happier that all of their kids were adults. Well, maybe if you moved out.
Johnny breathed in some air. A lot of mistakes had obviously been made on both parts and he was ready to put it all behind him. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I forgot to do what was more important. Be your brother. And I’ll apologize for the rest of my life until you forgive me.”
“No need. I forgive you right now,” you whispered, simpering.
Johnny stood there like a dumbass, hesitant. He didn’t feel like he deserved your forgiveness and would be spending the next weeks repairing his relationship with you, doing whatever it took.
You took the lead, starting reluctantly, “Listen. I know Mike’s passing has been hard on you, Johnny. That’s why you want to protect me and everything else you love in your life, but I’m an adult. You need to let me take care of me.”
A cloud of melancholy hung over Johnny and it wouldn’t leave. The grief was still fresh, as if Mike had died yesterday.
You stepped forward, placing a hand on Johnny’s shoulder. “And you’re my big brother. I’ll obviously still give you a call when I’m going through a rough time. But you have to respect that I’m my own person.”
Johnny nodded. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry about all that too. I’ll be better.”
“I will too,” you said, because the truth was that it was time the two of you started making efforts.
Johnny grabbed you in his arms and pulled you into a gigantic bear hug. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close, and breathed easier in relief as weeks worth of wounds vanished.
Wincing your eyes closed, you let yourself be content in your brother’s loving embrace for the first time in a while. You needed this.
You could barely feel yourself breathe when Johnny started to hug you so tightly you thought he might accidentally squeeze the life out of you. “Alright, chill, Johnny. I think I might die,” you wheezed.
Johnny released you with a chuckle. You gasped for breath, shaking your head. Though the bone-crushing hug was appreciated nonetheless.
Mark was content to be in the background and cheered in awe, “I’m so proud of you guys. You overcame your differences and reunited like real siblings. I knew it would happen eventually, but dude, this is refreshing to see.”
You nodded in agreement. One less broken relationship. But you had another one to salvage before it was too late.
Then, Mark remembered Johnny was none too thrilled that he was complicit in you getting away with your sneaky little secret and asked, “Yo, Johnny, are we good?”
“No.”
Mark gawked.
“I’m kidding,” Johnny said with a teasing lilt. “We’re good, man.”
Mark exhaled in relief. “Thank god.”
You smiled to yourself. You were happy, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing from your life.
Johnny clamped a hand onto your shoulder and said, “Go get him.”
You gasped, but you didn’t question how he knew. He just did. It was a sibling thing. “You mean it?”
“Yes. You said it yourself. You love him, and I have no reason to come between that anymore. You deserve to be happy after dating asshole after asshole,” Johnny told you (sort of) kindly.
You snickered, and grabbed your keys from your pockets. “Pray for me. He’s not gonna be thrilled.”
Johnny shook his head, disagreeing. “Yeah, he will. Tell him that I’m very sorry, but the threat to kick his ass still stands if he fucks with you.”
“I’ll be sure to let him know,” you deadpanned, heading for the door.
The drive to Jaehyun’s house was inexplicably anxious. You could still think, but every thought went by at the speed of a thousand miles per second. And it didn’t help that you were overthinking the entire situation, dreading the endless amount of “what ifs.”
For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even know if he would be there. You were showing up unannounced, uninvited. What if he had already found another woman to keep him company in your forgettable absence?
Then, you were at his front doorstep. And you had no time to vividly imagine every possible scenario, because Jungkook answered your knocks and you could only barely see inside.
You politely greeted him in a small voice and asked, “Can I come inside?”
Jungkook’s eyes narrowed and he didn’t waste any time in snapping, “Why should I let you in after you broke my friend’s heart?”
“Because I’m sorry and I want to set things right with him,” you said, matching his lack of hesitation.
Yugyeom hurried over and took the lead, widening the door for you to enter and whining dramatically, “Oh, god. Please come in. Fix him. Do your womanly magic and bring him back to life. I’m sick of his brooding ass.”
You wanted to laugh, but you hated the thought of causing Jaehyun all this suffering. If it was anything like the kind you’d been through lately, you knew he was in a tough spot.
Thanking Yugyeom, you made a beeline for the stairs, rushing up them like Jaehyun would somehow know it was you approaching them and slip away before you could get the chance to apologize.
You knocked on Jaehyun’s door, but you guessed he really wasn’t expecting you to come over, because he shouted exasperatedly, “Jesus, Yugyeom. Fuck off.”
“It’s not Yugyeom,” you called back. “It’s me.”
All you could hear was silence. Then there was a shuffle, and a few moments later the door clicked unlocked and Jaehyun was standing before you in all his glory. “What are you doing here?”
“I walked to talk,” you replied timidly, struggling to maintain eye contact.
Irritated, Jaehyun huffed, “We already had a conversation.” Though the truth was that he was glad you were here, standing in front of him again. He was borderline miserable without you in his life.
The reminder of your final exchange with Jaehyun made you wince in shame. “I know, but I wanted to apologize. Won’t you at least hear me out?”
Jaehyun turned to return to his bed, reminding sharply, “You’re the one that walked away. I was willing to at least try to make us work, but you didn’t even want to do that.”
“Because I thought it would be useless,” you admitted, giving chase and shutting the door behind yourself. “But I don’t anymore. You were right. I should’ve fought for us and I regret not doing it earlier.”
Jaehyun might’ve acted like he wasn’t listening, being totally dismissive, but he definitely noticed your specific use of language. “You said ‘earlier.’ What do you mean?”
You had a beaming smile on your face as you admitted, “I mean, I talked to Johnny about us. I managed to get him to listen to me and proved your innocence. Thank god Mark’s father is a cop.”
Jaehyun softened. “You did all that? Why?”
“Because you’re worth fighting for,” you whispered tenderly, looking at Jaehyun like he was your entire universe.
Jaehyun was so close to accepting that he would never have anyone look at him that way again. After a heartbreak, the feeling of being unlovable always loomed over his head and you were no different. But dammit if he wasn’t tired of the doubts.
Tentatively, you came towards Jaehyun completely, sitting beside him on his mattress that you missed almost as much as you missed him. “I didn’t mean it, when I said I wish I never met you.”
Jaehyun almost laughed. That was the least hurtful thing to leave your lips. “I know. You were upset. And you had every right to be.”
You frowned, suspicious of how calm he was. You half expected him to lash out. “Stop being understanding.”
“If you’re expecting me to be angry, I can’t do anything for you. I’ve already spent the past few weeks in that stage of grief.”
You blinked. It was as if he could read your mind. “Where are you at now?”
Jaehyun was totally indifferent when he told you, “Bargaining.”
“Funny. Me too,” you sighed. If only you had been more open-minded, you could have spared you and Jaehyun all this worthless misery.
You noticed that Jaehyun said nothing, but he looked a little in his head. And he was somewhere up there, scolding himself for letting him be a fool for you, then thinking, I couldn’t resist loving you. Sue me.
The emotion was finally surfacing on his face. You could see all of it now. The distress and the love and the heartache. You smirked, thinking to yourself, He’s my little damsel now.
The grin on your lips was fleeting and it disappeared by the time you grabbed Jaehyun’s hands in yours and he peered down at you in surprise. “I’m sorry,” you told him softly. “I thought you were crazy and hopeless for thinking we could be together. Now, I see that you didn’t want to quit until you’d exhausted your resources. And I forced your hand. I’m sorry.”
Jaehyun squeezed your hand. “It’s okay. I understand where you were coming from. You were trying to make things as painless as possible because you genuinely thought we didn’t stand a chance against fate.”
“And somehow I made shit ten times more painful,” you murmured, ashamed.
“Like I said, I understand where you were coming from,” Jaehyun said, being gentler than he should’ve.
You shook your head. That meant nothing. “But do you forgive me?”
Jaehyun gazed into your pained eyes. It still broke him, but he was starting to lick the wound clean. Things were changing. “Yes. I forgive you, baby.”
Your heart softened at the pet name. You never expected to fall for Jaehyun. Not Jaehyun or his precious smile and adorable face. Not the little things he’d say that made you feel as if you would burst with love.
But you did fall for him, and all those little things that made him himself. And you didn’t want to be without them ever again.
“I’m tired of loving each other behind closed doors. I want to be seen with you. I want to go to museums and look at really abstract paintings that you’ll tell me are meaningful for whatever reason. I want to explore the city with you and visit shops I’d never think to go to otherwise.”
Jaehyun was sporting a beaming smile. “You said you love me.”
“I haven’t said it before?”
Jaehyun huffed, “No. Not even once.”
You held his face, cradling it just shy of yours, and confessed, “Then, I love you. I love you. I love you so much, Jaehyun. I don’t know what to do without you.”
“I love you too,” Jaehyun said, leaning in to mumble the tiny confession into your neck, and reminded of how desperately he craved the warmth of your skin.
You were grinning so hard your cheeks were hurting.
“Don’t leave me ever again. Don’t ever let me go. Never,” Jaehyun instructed you sharply, and although it was partly muffled, you heard him loud and clear.
“I won’t,” you told him, kissing his forehead. “If you play me that song you made me on your guitar.”
Jaehyun blinked up at you in surprise. “You liked it?”
“I think I’ve cried to it, like, a million times,” you admitted unabashedly.
Jaehyun’s jaw went slack for only a split second, then he quickly recovered and leapt up to grab his guitar from its resting position in the corner of his room.
A smile danced onto your lips as he held the guitar, strumming to the beautiful song he’d written with only his insurmountable adoration for you in mind, and the pining nature of the lyrics made you realize that the yearning was over. You were Jaehyun’s. And Jaehyun was yours.
Losing Jaehyun, one of the few people you loved depthlessly, was like losing the last person you had. You didn’t know how to be without him. And you didn’t have to learn, because you never would be without him again.
You watched him attentively, beaming from ear to ear, taking in his beautiful smile and soft voice, and familiar heady cologne. And you thought to yourself, There’s nothing to dislike about this guy.
[D-Day] Hello Vals! Our introductory issue is out now! 🎉 Be the first to check it out, share your thoughts using our hashtag #ValenZine. Let's make this journey unforgettable! 💫
🌟 Announcing! 🌟 ValenZine Issue 01: Birthday Special Edition is finally here! 🎂
Dive into the celebration with interviews, highlights, and more! Don't miss out on this special edition!
Share your thoughts using #ValenZine and invite fellow Valentines to join the fun! 🎉
If it’s bold then it’s a full-length fic, if it’s not then it’s just a drabble or bulletpoints
fluff = ⭐️, smut = 💋, angst = 😩
series
sweet like honey series:
💋 sweet like honey - 13.3k, the day you meet johnny suh and park seonghwa is the day your dreams become reality. fucking two super hot idols? who would say no to that. but the catch is that neither of them know about the other until the secret comes out, and the following competition is one that you never want to miss out on.
💋 sweet like honey || part ii - 17.7k, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about another guy joining you in bed with johnny and seonghwa. there are so many choices, but in the end there’s only one that works out.
💋 sweet like honey || part iii: finale - 16k, being in a newly labelled polyamorous relationship with two idols is no easy thing, but you make it work. you will. you do. the love is great, the sex is greater, and the three of you together is incomparable.
wanting you series:
💋 want it all - 13.7k, you are entirely innocent to the point of being naive. johnny is not innocent, but he loves that you are because it means he can teach you everything you don’t know
💋 sweet treat - a spinoff drabble set when the summer is ridiculously hot and johnny just wants your lips
baby series:
💋 baby - 8.5k, a johnmark threesome OR it begins as a mistake when mark overhears you and johnny having sex
💋⭐️ baby. || part ii - 8.6k, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about the time you and johnny had mark in bed, a sweet and desperate baby boy for the both of you, and you would do anything to have him back there again
the poly series
11 parts + 3 drabbles, smut, fluff, and angst
full length fics
💋 j.crew - 11.4k, (for kinktober 2022), you’re not very good at making choices, so when it comes time for you to choose a favorite member of your brother’s group, you have several guys vying for your favor, and you decide why even make a choice when you can have them all?
💋 my everything - 3.8k, (for kinktober 2022), you’re in a relationship with Jaehyun, and he’s got a thing for being cuckolded. Enter Johnny, Jaehyun’s best friend.
💋 i’m glad we met - 20.8k, you’re a designer, and you meet Johnny Suh when you get the chance to design his outfit for the Met Gala. That night, the starting point, brings together two strangers, unavoidably attracted to each other even over long distances, thousands of miles and interruptions OR johnny suh holds your hand once and you never want him to let go again
💋 a cure for nerves - 3k, CEO Johnny Suh is your boss, and he teaches you a lesson for not doing your job properly
💋 snowed in - 9.3k, The Fates have it out for you and Hendery. Odd situations always come up any time that you’re around each other, and when the pair of you and Johnny get stranded together, you come to realize maybe what you’ve taken to be bad luck is actually something a little bit better.
💋⭐️ the cinderella search - 10.6k, you’re a staff member at SM, and during the annual halloween party, you go dressed as cinderella. enter johnny as prince charming. you talk, you flirt, he falls in love, but you forget to tell him your name before the night ends, and thus begins his cinderella search.
💋⭐️ anywhere with you - 6.4k, you visit your childhood best friend Johnny in Seoul for his birthday, and after years apart, the reunion is certainly one to remember
💋⭐️ let it snow - 2.2k, it’s snowing outside, your best friend johnny makes a comment about “nice fucking weather” and together you decide, yeah, it is the perfect weather to have sex
💋😩 make a wish 現実に変えていく - 6.7k, you’re jungwoo’s sister, and he’s made it clear he wants you and johnny to have nothing to do with each other, so you and johnny start fake dating to piss him off
💋 stay with us - 9.8k words, you and Johnny want to spice up your sex life, and you do that with a little help from new kid on campus Lucas
💋⭐️ all of you - 2k words, johnny’s your best friend who you’re in love with and he walks in on you masturbating
💋 red - 1.8k, it’s your anniversary and you have something special planned for your sub Johnny
💋 oh daddy - 1k, johnny has a daddy kink and requires you to call him that during sex
💋⭐️ honeymoon - 700 words, you were a virgin up until the previous night, so you and johnny are navigating the morning after your wedding and your first time together
💋 pierced - 531 words, Ten secretly pierced his nipples, and when he finally reveals the truth to Johnny, he reacts better than Ten could’ve hoped to imagine
drabbles/headcanons
💋 make it quick - johnny eats you out in the shower
💋 abs riding - riding your boyfriend johnny’s abs
💋 rimjob - you give dom!johnny a rimjob
⭐️💋 like clockwork - you and johnny have been trying so hard to get pregnant
💋 supply run - in the zombie apocalypse, Johnny finds a box of condoms that he can’t wait to use with you
💋 high and horny - you’re visiting Chicago with Johnny, and you get high and have sex in the car
💋 oh, good knight - Johnny’s a knight, you’re a servant, and when he’s injured you have to take really good care of him
💋 little love-making nest - it’s storming outside, and johnny comes home all cold, so you invite him into your blanket nest to warm up
💋 cute - you like making Johnny cum in his pants
⭐️ sweet lullaby - Johnny sings and tells the story of when he fell in love with you to your newborn daughter
💋 sweet arrangment - are you fuckbuddies, his sugar baby, or is there something more?
💋 lucky - you and johnny have mutual friends getting married, and you’re both in the wedding party. you’re trying to be good, to not mess things up by getting messy with him before the wedding, but after the wedding, who knows what will happen?
⭐️ chicago – you’re just friends with johnny when he invites you to come visit chicago with him, but a night on navy pier changes everything
⭐️ cuddle bug – johnny tells you he loves you, and you’re overwhelmed so you hide, but he just thinks you looks really cute
⭐️ momma muse – johnny and your son make some artwork inspired by you
⭐️ my boo thang – you meet him at a fansign, hit it off, and months later you try to put a name on what this thing between you is
⭐️ blushing – johnny’s a menace, sending you risque messages when you’re in public
💋 missed this - you and johnny were friends with benefits before you met your (now) ex, and johnny wants to help you forget your ex completely.
⭐️ supportive bf johnny
⭐️ johnny the tease
💋 ms. innocent - you’re such an innocent girl and johnny just wants to corrupt you
💋 lucky - you meet johnny in a hotel bar, and he gives you just what you’ve been missing
💋 incendiary - an office romance that builds slowly until you crash together one night at a company dinner
💋 velvet - johnny really loves you in those velvet pants, especially when you’re sitting on his thigh wearing only them
💋 sex bunny - you’re having a foursome with johnny, yuta, and jaehyun, and you display your flexibility and insatiable lust much to their pleasure
💋 johnjae - johnny and jaehyun fuck you and record it to send it to the other members
💋 cozy - a christmas-themed night at the dorm leads to you snuggling up with your boyfriend johnny and giving him head
⭐️ sneak - while staying with family, you and johnny are supposed to sleep in separate rooms, but that doesn’t work out for you
💋⭐️ breathless - johnny just positively takes your breath away during your secretive hook ups
⭐️ long distance - friends to strangers to friends to lovers
💋⭐️ mine - johnny’s suddenly feeling a little possessive
⭐️ we all do it - johnny farts in bed so naturally you kick him out of the room
⭐️ miami - making out with johnny on miami beach
💋 tour bus - sneaking in some private time with johnny on the tour bus while the others are out exploring the city
⭐️ poly johnyuten drabble - just johnny manhandling his two boyfriends
💋 your first time being eaten out
⭐️ a future family - you and johnny talk about having kids
💋 public - you let johnny, yuta, and kun pass you around in public
⭐️ shut up - johnny just keeps talking and talking while you try to kiss him
⭐️ birthday - how johnny would spend your birthday with you
⭐️ boyfriend johnny headcanons
💋⭐️ johnny and kun poly relationship
💋 have your way - straddling johnny and making out turns into sex
💋⭐️ johnten poly relationship - how a poly relationship with them would be
💋 what he’s like in bed
💋 how it goes - a johnten threesome OR you and ten try to switch things up and top johnny, but johnny’s not having it
💋 a learning experience - a johnmark threesome OR johnny teaches mark how to please you
💋 johnjae threesome - johnny and jaehyun are a little competitive when it comes to pleasing you
💋 chillin’ - a threesome with johnny and yuta
taeil | johnny | taeyong | yuta | kun | doyoung | ten | jaehyun | winwin | jungwoo | lucas | mark | xiaojun | hendery | renjun | jeno | haechan | jaemin | yangyang | shotaro | sungchan
